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It had been a long time since Joshua had been a human boy. He hardly even remembered those times most days, so far out of sight and out of mind. The days back then had been filled with boredom and exhaustion, and the ever present desire for something more.
With that meant that he had long since abandoned most human delicacies. Certain things he still allowed himself to partake in - he had no reason to eat, but enjoyed the experience of good food, for example. But most he had no care for, much like the RG as a whole. There was only one being who made him want something from that forgotten plane, want something he hadn't wanted in who even knew how long.
Usually, Joshua was quite polite when it came to reading Neku's thoughts. He generally didn't snoop unless the situation called for it, allowing his partner to come to him on his own time with whatever it might be. It was… nice, knowing that Neku trusted him so implicitly. Made his head feel light as a feather and foggy all over.
On nights like these, however, it was getting increasingly hard to ignore Neku's calls. It wasn't even really his fault, not really. Neku was, quite literally, calling to him. Moaning his name out in small, short bursts under his breath as he palmed himself roughly underneath his bed sheets. Joshua was always listening, always waiting to hear Neku invite him, or say something for him to pick out and text him a response back. In Shibuya, it was hard to tune out any particular Soul if he were in close proximity, but one with Imagination like Neku's it was nearly impossible.
And having him say his name, over and over and over again as if it were some kind of prayer, well. Joshua couldn't exactly ignore that.
There were many ways he could play this. In the back of his mind, he wondered if Neku was doing this on purpose - he wouldn't put it past the other boy entirely. Always too bold when Joshua least expected it. Always surprising him, despite how long they'd known each other.
With a sigh, he forced himself to tune into the RG right outside Neku's bedroom door. He could've just went right in, went straight for it, but… they'd barely done more then kiss. Any tentative touching past that was always met with Neku turning a bright red, and fumbling around. It wasn't as if Joshua had any experience, either; he just hid it better.
Knocking on his door, alerting him to his presence, and seeing where that took him… that was likely his best course of action. The last thing Joshua wanted to do was for Neku to stop calling his name like that. Honestly, the fact that even completely blinded by pleasure he was still calling for Joshua specifically made a heat start to pool deep within him. It was something, to know that Neku thought of him like this.
It wasn't exactly a surprise. They had been something, together, for a long time now. Really, Joshua had known what his feelings were for longer than Neku had accepted them. But to know it was so consistent, that even in his most private of moments where he could be thinking of anyone - anyone at all, a celebrity, someone he didn't really want but his brain filled in the gaps with, anything - and still thought of Joshua?
Too many thoughts crept up in his mind. Accepting the depth of his feelings was simple in concept, difficult in practice. Knowing and understanding were two very different things, and it was something Joshua was still learning. Instead of dwelling, he cleared his mind with a knock at the door. Concise, to the point; he knocked twice with purpose.
"Neku?" He called out, trying to sound concerned rather then smug. Didn't want Neku to catch on that quickly to his little ploy, after all. That would ruin all the fun. "Did you call for me?"
"Neku?" For a moment, Neku thought his mind was playing tricks on him. It wasn't unusual for Josh to show up unannounced, it was kind of his favorite way to show up, but he generally was very respectful of Neku's privacy. Shockingly. He slowly stroked himself again, trying to rationalize that since he was just thinking about Joshua - thinking about his boyfriend's hands on him, thinking about how he would look with his mouth on his cock, how that would feel - he'd just imagined his voice.
Of course, as soon as he began to get back into a rhythm, he heard Joshua's voice again. "Did you call for me?"
There was no way that wasn't actually Joshua. Neku froze completely, his eyes widening in a way Joshua would surely laugh at if he could see it. For good measure, once he regained control over his body, he pulled the blankets up a little higher, until they reached his chin.
"Um," he stammered out, brain going a mile a minute. His body was still craving for him to continue, to keep going. He'd been so pent up lately, too much going on to really have enough time to himself, and as he and Joshua spent more time together, more and more he realized how badly he wanted their relationship to become physical, too.
"Everything okay in there?" Joshua asked again, and Neku couldn't tell whether it was genuine worry in his tone or something far, far more teasing.
What was the likelihood of Joshua knowing what he'd been doing, Neku wondered? He was the Composer, but he was usually pretty good about leaving him alone. This was far from the first time he'd said the other boy's name during… private moments. A bit embarrassingly far from that number, actually. His cock twitched, reminding him he was still very needy, and he very nearly had the mind to rip the door open and let Joshua know exactly what he'd interrupted.
That was most definitely not what he was going to do, though. "Um," he repeated, sounding just as stupid as he had before. "Yes?" He should really not be horny, still. He should really not want to be continuing pumping himself, hand still on his cock, but knowing Joshua was so close when he was this desperate was unfortunately less a deterrent and more of an incentive to continue.
He heard the door creak the slightest bit as Joshua must've leaned on it. Hesitantly, he began to move his hand again. Slowly, much more slowly then before. "What did you call me for, then?" He asked, and Neku wished he could see the look on his face. To know whether he knew and was just teasing him or whether he was finally deciding to take on the role of doting boyfriend instead of constant annoyance. "Can I come in?"
"No!" Neku said immediately, replying so fast he barely heard the word himself. His touches stopped once more, and Neku breathed in and out, in and out, trying to calm himself. He was being ridiculous.
This was far from the first time he'd been interrupted, after all. He'd been a teenager. He had a father. He knew all about this. And yet here he was, acting like a kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Absolutely ridiculous.
He sighed aggressively, pulling his pajama pants back up and hoping they covered himself enough. He pushed himself up from bed, swinging open the door.
Joshua must have moved at the last second, because instead of finding his boyfriend trying to catch himself, he was not standing as if he'd been expecting Neku to do this all along. A single eyebrow raised, taunting him.
Oh, he definitely knew. There was no way. The look on his face was that manicured fake concern he wore whenever Rindo or the other Wicked Twisters talked about their issues; the one that was so badly faked Neku had to wonder whether it was on purpose or accidental.
"Joshua," Neku breathed out slowly. He did not mean for it to sound that breathy, but, well - he was still hard. His mind kept flashing to the images he'd created, all the fantasies he'd never had the guts to act upon. And now he was right there. "What are you doing here?"
He leaned against the wall, far too graceful as he always was. "Just checking in on you," he replied casually, inspecting a nail as if bored. Fat chance, Neku thought. "What did you call me for?" He repeated the question from earlier, and Neku's mind completely froze.
"Um," he said, eloquently as always. "Well, you know, I, um." Unfortunately, he was starting to realize that this was a much easier conversation to have when a door was separating them. A door and a lot of space.
It really wasn't fair how pretty Joshua was. He'd had the thought a million times before, but when he was in this state of mind, it was impossible to ignore. And the feigned boredom in his eyes betrayed something that was simmering beneath the surface…
Neku shook his head. He was probably just imagining things. There was no way. Not once yet, in their relationship, had Joshua shown any sign of being interested in things getting too intimate. That wasn't a bad thing - in fact, Neku understood. He was the Composer. He probably hadn't been this close to another person in a long, long time.
It didn't stop him from wanting it, of course. But he really did understand.
Joshua finally looked up, his smile more akin to predatory rather then concerned. His pretenses were starting to drop, and Neku forced himself to swallow.
"You can't tell me?" Joshua asked, pushing himself back off the wall. He took a step in, and Neku took a step back on reflex. "And now you don't even want me any closer. Are you mad at me, perhaps?"
Everything that came out of his mouth was in that teasing lilt. His smile had grown, and his eyes had narrowed a fraction, and-
Fuck. Neku's legs hit the edge of his bed. Nowhere farther back to go. Joshua leaned in, so close their noses were touching. "Um," Neku said again, stupidly. God, he felt like an idiot, but his eyes were glued to Joshua's.
They were doing that thing they did sometimes, where the purple really seemed otherworldly, like they were glowing, and he was looking at Neku like- looking at Neku like…
Joshua licked his lips slowly, deliberately, and Neku had to bite his tongue. When Joshua opened his mouth to continue his teasing onslaught, Neku moved, pressing their mouths together.
Even the kiss felt a little too good, right then. Neku nearly moaned into it, when Joshua parted his lips to allow Neku's tongue inside. At least that confirmed what he was already sure of. Joshua's hands came to rest on his hips, gripping them firmly and digging his nails in.
When they parted, Neku was almost panting. "Do you really want me to say it?" He asked, too far gone to feel embarrassed any longer. He was sure that would change, but he'd take what he could get for the moment.
Joshua smiled at him, nails still digging into the skin by his hip bones. His hands were cold compared to how feverish Neku felt. "No, dear, I think I understand," he said, words quiet enough they could almost be a whisper.
Before he could say anything else, anything at all, because that had really been going so well for him that night, Joshua pushed him a little. Not too hard, but hard enough Neku lost his footing and fell backwards onto his bed.
He could feel his heartbeat picking up speed when Joshua took the opportunity to crawl over him. Joshua kissed him again, long and slow, allowing Neku to pull him down against him. They'd never been this close before, not like this, and Neku felt like…
Really, he could barely even think. Joshua was there, he was real, he was kissing him. Neku was positive he was practically crushing his boyfriend against him, but he didn't seem to be complaining at least. When Joshua pulled away a bit, he couldn't help but whine. Words were not his forte so he gave up completely, choosing instead to tug on Joshua's sleeve.
"Be patient, dear," Joshua said, pushing himself up onto his knees. He moved down a bit, fingers touching the waistband of his pajama pants, and any and all complains Neku might have had flew right out the window.
This was happening, he realized somewhere in the back of his mind, as Joshua took his time pulling his pants off. There was nothing underneath them, he hadn't even thought about it earlier as he'd scrambled to get control over Joshua suddenly showing up at his door, though that hadn't exactly worked out well. Neku was practically frozen, watching with baited breath as Joshua looked at him.
His cock was hard, almost painfully so, and Joshua smiled at it almost teasingly. He'd moved himself to sit in between Neku's now open legs, pants discarded to who knows where. The fact that he hadn't just willed them out of existence was probably something Neku should think about, but he could save that for later. A coherent thought was growing shockingly difficult, and Joshua hadn't even touched him yet.
"Do you want this?" Joshua asked him, almost quietly enough that Neku had to strain himself to catch the words.
It wasn't like him to be so… unsure of himself, but that was something Neku could file away and examine later, when he had a functioning brain. "Of course," Neku breathed out, leaning up a bit on his elbows so he was more level with his boyfriend. "I've wanted this for an embarrassingly long time," he continued, knowing he'd regret saying that later. "If you're willing, I want it."
The smile he was rewarded with was small, but genuine. Neku blinked, and then his head was back on his pillow. How did that happen?
He was about to ask when Joshua finally put his hand around him, his fingers lacing around his cock slowly. Joshua's eyes were trained on him, and Neku found himself unable to look away from them as he slowly began to move.
He'd never been touched by someone else before, not like this, and even with Joshua's slow movements he felt so much again like a teenager, learning his body for the first time. It would've been more embarrassing if Joshua wasn't so focused on the task, moving his hand in a steady rhythm.
"Tell me what you want, Neku," Joshua whispered, though it almost sounded like he was speaking directly into his head rather than out loud. Had his mouth moved at all? Neku wasn't sure.
When Neku had imagine his first time with Joshua, he'd thought… a lot of things, really. He'd always expected himself to be the one touching him first, that Joshua, like in all things, would want to be in control. That would've been fine by him, honestly. Neku had no idea what he was doing.
What he hadn't expected was… this. Any of this. His throat felt like sandpaper and he could feel his face heating up at Joshua's question. Tell me what you want.
A thousand things came to mind; all the fantasies that he'd had and thought he'd never get. Joshua on top of him, riding him. Joshua sucking him off and letting him spill himself down his throat as he eagerly swallowed. Joshua underneath him as he pounded into him. Joshua-
Neku blinked, trying to focus. Joshua was still pumping him, steadily speeding up, and Neku was breathing hard. How could he answer that? How could he even form any words? He felt like he might die if he tried, the heat in the pit of his stomach growing hotter by the second.
"I can look if you'd rather," Joshua continued when he didn't answer, and once again Neku wasn't sure if he'd spoken aloud or not.
Part of him wanted to shake his head. There were so many different things, ideas that he really shouldn't be showing to Joshua, but instead Neku nodded. Speaking was too hard. Asking anything of Joshua, when he was already there, already tangible and making him feel, felt almost cruel.
Joshua chuckled a bit, and then-
He removed his hand, moving down. Before Neku could beg him not to stop - the loss of friction already painful, two seconds in - he gasped, feeling Joshua's mouth come to cover his tip. Oh. Oh, that felt - that felt-
Neku moaned, and without thinking his hands came up to tangle themselves in Joshua's hair. Joshua lowered himself painfully slow, taking his sweet time as he took Neku down to his base. Neku's fingers gripped the back of his head hard, but Joshua didn't even seem to notice as he let Neku get a bit more used to the feeling. His tongue moved slowly, hesitantly, as he pulled himself back up to the top of his cock.
Everything felt too good. It was so much, so much more then what it was usually like with himself. Joshua's mouth was so warm, and he hollowed out his cheeks to get as much of the wet friction as possible as he dragged his mouth against him. He appeared to have no gag reflex, either, as he was able to take all of Neku into his mouth. Neku was convinced he could feel the back of Joshua's throat with every movement, and his very veins felt like they'd been lit on fire with a match.
He bobbed his head again, and again, and again, and Neku was soon realizing he was the one setting the rhythm as he moved Joshua's head up and down and pushed his hips up into his mouth. Instantly, Neku removed his hands, stuttering out apologies, and Joshua in turn removed himself from Neku's cock.
"Don't apologize," Joshua said, almost snapping a bit. He was gasping more than breathing now, too, and his face was completely flushed with a mixture of saliva and pre-come smeared onto his lips. The hand that had been resting near the base moved to grab Neku's hand, and move it back to his head.
It might have been the hottest thing Neku had ever seen in his young life. Without thinking, his fingers tightened into Joshua's hair - so impossibly soft, as it always was - and Joshua nodded slowly in approval.
"Much better," he said, and waited until Neku had slowly moved his other hand back. His cock twitched helplessly, and Neku whined a bit. Joshua laughed, the sound deep and coming from the back of his throat, and Neku could only writhe a bit.
Fuck, Joshua was so hot. He looked at him with lidded eyes, keeping eye contact as he went back down on him, and Neku's fingers gripped hard again. He could only watch as Joshua picked up speed, and Neku bucked into him irregularly, knowing he was getting close.
The fire in his veins had spread to the tips of his fingers, to every inch of his skin. Joshua's tongue started moving, too, swirling with every movement of his head. Neku moaned again, and every time he made a noise Joshua's nails dug in delightfully hard into his thighs.
Fuck, he was close, he knew he was. The snapping of his hips to shove his cock down Joshua's throat got more wild, more uncontrollable as he pushed Joshua's head down into him. In between chanting Joshua's name like a prayer were apologies, but with every one of those Joshua's eyes narrowed at him. Neku could barely keep his eyes open to notice.
Finally, when Joshua allowed his teeth to carefully move against him, Neku couldn't hold himself back and he spilled into Joshua's throat with a hiss. Without a second of hesitation, Joshua swallowed, almost as if making sure not a drop was left.
When he finally came up from him, Joshua smiled, looking the most debauched Neku had ever seen him. A bit of come was still smeared on his lips and Neku could only stare. His fingers slowly unraveled themselves, falling onto the bed helplessly.
Despite his appearance, Joshua seemed completely undeterred by this turn of events. He swiped at his lips with the back of his hand before smiling down at Neku, who just blinked slowly.
"Did you enjoy yourself, dear?" He asked, and the weird mind talking was gone. His lips were definitely moving, and despite having just came, Neku was fixated on them now. He didn't think he'd ever be able to look at them again without thinking of what just happened.
He nodded, feeling air return to his lungs at a normal pace. "Um," he said, still transfixed on Joshua's - everything. "I love you." It was the only response he could think to give. With great difficulty, Neku forced himself up, holding himself there even though his arms felt like gelatin.
His fingers twitched, and he reached for Joshua, who just laughed. "I love you too, but you're tired," he said, gently pushing him down to the bed. "Another time."
Neku frowned. It felt wrong to have Joshua show up out of nowhere, only to give him the best blowjob of his life - also his first blowjob, but who was counting - and then deny getting anything himself. It almost felt like taking advantage.
When Neku didn't respond, Joshua leaned down to pet his hair, soft and gentle. He leaned into the touch, unable to help himself. "I only wanted to do this tonight. We have all the time in the world, hm?" His words were honest, and Neku finally conceded.
And, well, he was exhausted. He usually was the type to get pretty sleepy afterwards, but this was a new level of it. He blinked blearily at Joshua, whose hand moved from petting his hair to cover his eyes.
"Sleep now. I'll see you in the morning."
With the last of his muscle tone, Neku reached out to hold Joshua's hand. The Composer squeezed back, and Neku knew he would stay the night. He smiled, finally letting himself succumb to slumber.