Chapter Text
annabeth had kind of wanted to be alone, but somewhere along the way in the last few years, percy’s company had stopped counting. so when he plopped down next to her in the sand, she didn’t tell him to leave. she didn’t want him to. for a while, they were silent. and then-
“rachel kissed me today.”
just when annabeth thought the pain couldn’t get any worse, it did. all at once, something stabbed through her heart and twisted violently. maybe being alone would’ve been better. she shut her eyes. “good for you,” she got out, trying and failing to keep her tone from turning too bitter.
“no, i… i didn’t want her to,” he said. a little bit of the heavy weight lifted off her chest, but it still hurt. percy continued, unaware of her pain. “we were in my car and she’d said something about what it would take for me to kiss her.”
annabeth wanted to throw up, but she just watched the waves in silence as he continued to twist the knife in her heart.
“i didn’t know what to say, and then blackjack landed on the roof and beck-,” his voice died for a second and a whole new wave of pain hit as she remembered their friend. he cleared his throat. “we had to go, and she just kissed me and told me to go be a hero or something.”
annabeth thought about how little rachel understood about their world. go be a hero was telling percy go head first into battle. and if she knew anything about percy, she would know that meant percy would do anything and everything for the people he loved, even if it cost him his own life. being a hero, for percy, was a death sentence.
annabeth wished he would stop being a hero. she selfishly wished he would take a step back and let someone else take the fall so that percy could live another day.
“when she asked me about kissing her,” percy said, breaking annabeth from her thoughts, “all i could think about was you.”
annabeth’s eyes snapped to percy to find him already watching her.
“all i could think about was how i didn’t want to kiss her, and i wanted to kiss you.”
“why are you telling me this?” she whispered. this wasn’t like them. they didn’t talk about the painfully obvious feelings that had been growing between them for years. they always left them unspoken.
“because this could be my last summer, and i was an idiot for not spending every second of it with you,” he said.
annabeth took a shaky breath and looked back out at the water. she didn’t want to think about this being his last summer. she didn’t want to think about another friend dying, especially since he was so much more than just a friend to her.
“i realized our lives are too dangerous and unpredictable for me to not tell you this,” he told her, reaching for her hand. their fingers laced together easily and she wanted to cry. a few tears did fall down her cheeks, much to her dismay. she didn’t wipe them though, letting them slide off her face.
“if, like you said, it’s your last summer,” she started, willing her voice to stay steady, “what’s the point?”
“what do you mean?”
she sniffled, giving up the façade that this conversation wasn’t killing her, and looked at him. “if you’re going to,” her voice gave out and she cleared her throat. she couldn’t say that word. “if it’s your last summer, why should we start anything now?”
“why not?”
she stared at him. did he not understand just how much he could destroy her? if she loved him in the way she truly wanted to, and then she lost him, it would wreck her beyond repair. maybe he did understand this, because he continued, “if you lost me now, as your friend, are you telling me it would hurt significantly less than if we were… more than friends?”
annabeth swallowed. on some level, he was right. if she lost him now, it would kill her just the same. she’d never be able to go another day without thinking of him. but loving him, truly loving him and that love being reciprocated, and then losing him would be a different kind of pain. an unbearable one.
“i thought i lost you last year,” she said, looking down at her hands. “it was the worst thing i’ve ever felt. losing you now, even if we’re still only friends, it would hurt ten times what it did then. but if we were more… it would kill me, percy.”
“what if losing me is inevitable anyways?”
annabeth’s jaw clenched. she didn’t respond. finally, percy whispered, “i think you’re just scared.”
her head whipped towards him. “obviously,” she spat. “of course i’m scared. how could i not be?”
“but you’re going to let that hold you back? this could’ve been something great and we’ve been too scared to even try,” he shot back, his voice just as powerful as hers. “if i die, i’d rather know what it’s like to be with you before i do.”
annabeth looked away, her eyes squeezing shut as she covered her face. “gods, stop saying that you’re going to die,” she said, more tears leaking from her eyes.
“annabeth,” he said, moving closer so he could grip her wrists gently, trying to pry them away from her face. “beth, look at me.”
she did, and he slipped his fingers between hers. he was so close now, tears brimming his eyes too. “for everyone, tomorrow isn’t promised, but especially us. i made the mistake of not spending this summer with you but i won’t let myself continue to fuck this up.”
her lip trembled hard as she tried to hold back a sob. his voice was shaking too, but he powered through with a quiet, “i love you.”
that sob burst right out of annabeth and she pressed her forehead to his, shaking her head violently. there was no way he was spilling all of this right now when they had so little time left together.
“your birthday is next week,” she whispered. the end of the world is next week.
“i know,” he murmured, his hands moving to cup her face. she locked eyes with him, letting herself drown in the familiar sea green color she knew would be ingrained in her memory forever. she’d never be able to see it again without thinking of only him.
“if you,” he started before stopping, shutting his eyes, and taking a deep breath. “if you don’t want this, just tell me now and i’ll drop it. but i couldn’t go another minute without telling you.”
the idea of her not wanting this, of not wanting him, was almost laughable. he has been the only thing she’s wanted all summer. he has been the only thing she’s wanted all her life. and she was right, losing him was going to be the most painful thing she’s ever experienced.
but he was right, too. losing him would hurt like hell no matter what, and she was so tired of how scared she was. they could’ve been something great. if they only had a week left, she was damn sure she was going to make it count.
she reached out, cupped his jaw with both hands, and pulled him forward into a kiss. it wasn’t soft and sweet like she’d always imagined their first kiss - their real first kiss - being. it was desperate and heartbreaking and full of every emotion possible.
annabeth felt everything. anger, sadness, joy, anxiety, frustration, fear, and relief. so, so much relief. her only experience kissing percy had been once, a heat of the moment thing where she thought he would die. this, while it shared that same urgency, was so very different.
one of his hands stayed on her cheek, and the other slid to the back of her neck, pulling even closer. she was almost certain he was feeling the exact same intense whirlpool of emotions going through him.
she could’ve lived in that moment, but he pulled back. those tears that had been threatening to spill over finally did, sliding all the way down to where her hands rested on his skin.
“i love you,” she said, entirely too breathless for just one kiss.
the relief she’d been feeling earlier became so present in his features. the tension in his shoulders dropped, his breath left him in a quiet exhale, and his eyes glimmered with optimism - about them, about her.
“i love you,” he said back. “gods, do i love you.”
she let out a breathless laugh as more tears fell, and she pulled him into another kiss. like it was nothing, he pulled her onto his lap so that her knees fell on either side of his hips, and his arms wrapped around her waist. their chest pressed together as her arms wound around his neck.
that was how katie gardener found them, several minutes later, still kissing.
“hey lovebirds,” she called as she walked through the sand towards them. percy and annabeth snapped apart, cheeks flushing pink, like they were caught doing something they shouldn’t have been. katie’s eyes were still red from crying over beckendorf but there was a small smile on her lips now. “as happy as i am that you two finally figured your shit out, we need you both back at the big house.”
“okay,” annabeth said. it was only slightly mortifying that she was still on percy’s lap. “we’re right behind you.”
katie lifted her eyebrows once as if to say yeah, sure before turning and walking away. percy dropped his head onto annabeth’s collarbone and let out a laugh. “that was so awkward.”
“and embarrassing,” she agreed, letting out a giggle of her own. it felt good to laugh with him, even if it was just for a few seconds before they had to return to their harsh reality. she stood up, dusting sand off her and holding her hand out to him. he took it and even after she pulled him to his feet, he didn’t let go. percy leaned down for another kiss, this one much shorter with a lot less heat. just a simple press of his lips to hers, because he could.
“come on,” he said, tugging on her hand.
“they’re all gonna stare at us,” she complained, walking along with him. the little bubble of happiness she was feeling was ridiculously out of place for their lives right now. still, she welcomed it.
“they’ll get over it,” he shrugged. “i don’t really care what they have to say anyways.”
“they’re just going to make fun of us for taking so long.”
percy laughed. “they’re not wrong, though.”
“no,” she admitted. “they’re not.” this was three years in the making and even if it only lasted a week, she’d do everything in her power to make it the best week of her life, the war be damned.
they walked up the steps together, already hearing chatter coming from inside the house. he looked down at her. “ready?” he asked gently.
and with him by her side, she was ready for just about anything. “yeah,” she squeezed his hand. “ready.”