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When he died from his Qi deviation he thought that he would never wake up.
So he was a bit surprised when he realised that he came back in time. Before the Sunshot Campaign. Before Meng Yao became Jin Guangyao. Before he knew what type of man Meng Yao really was.
Before today, the day when Jin Guangyao would show his true colors.
Nie Mingjue already knew how it would go.
In his previous life seeing Meng Yao kill the captain of the guards had crushed him. So he just wouldn’t let him do it this time.
It would probably lightened his guilt for ever taking this snake of a man as his viceroy. Right?
Sending him away because he freed Xue Yang was as good a reason as any to not keep him in the Unclean Realm for much longer. And surely it wouldn’t be half as crushing as the alternative of killing him. Or should he just erase the problem altogether by executing Meng Yao for this crime?
Who was he kidding? Since returning having Meng Yao at his side again was in turn a balm to his soul and a torture for his mind.
Seeing Jin Guangyao all these years, he had practically forgotten how incredible working with Meng Yao was.
Really working with him, not the tense discussions they had in public or to appease Xichen.
The precision and concision of his reports, the constant help around the sect, the organisation, the nagging to force Nie Mingjue to take care of himself, how he overindulged Nie Huaisang sometimes , how he really smiled when he was happy, how he snarked sometimes when he was tired, how proud he seemed to be part of the Nie Sect.
How deceptively soft he seemed, even now that Nie Mingjue had seen what he was deep down.
Or was it what he would become? Or even could become?
Nie Mingjue, who always had been certain of what was right and wrong was confused as what he should do now.
Punish a man for crime he hasn't comitted yet? Trust him and take the risk of maybe losing more men if Meng Yao turned to Wen Ruohan again?
This younger Meng Yao still seemed full of potential.
Since his return in this life, Nie Mingjue wished that Meng Yao never became Jin Guangyao.
When Huaisang came back with Wei Wuxian, Wangji and Meng Yao with Xue Yang in tow, he knew what was to come.
He wasn’t sure he could bear it.
He had never understood Meng Yao's reason for what he did that day. The loss of life during a war while Meng Yao was a spy could have been justified if he hadn’t known beforehand what type of man he really was. Selfish, too driven by the idea to be on top of everyone, too deceitful to be trusted.
Ultimately too different from the idea that Nie Mingjue had had of him until this point.
Weirdly having already lived all of this the treason seemed duller than it had been. All these years of resentment and disavowal that had eroded their relationship had gone away letting only the deep melancholy of having lost someone he didn’t really know.
Today he would once again witness the treason who began a life of mistrust between him and his not-yet sworn brother.
So here Nie Mingjue was running to catch up with Meng Yao, during the Wen invasion of the Unclean Realm.
He had come back 3 weeks ago, long enough to prepare for it but not enough to avoid it entirely.
The Unclean Realm was still penetrated by the Wen force but at least less Nie were falling to Wen blades.
Now he was making his way to the prison, trying to brace himself for what he was going to see.
Nie Mingjue was close to an alcove that always had been very practical to observe prisoners that thought they were alone. Not that it would really help him now.
He turned the corner not long after Meng Yao.
Click.
“Go on, get out and remember Wen-gongzhu what he owes me.”
“Will do! Thanks! “ Responded Xue Yang while skipping away.
Nie Mingjue could feel the ground falling under his feets.
“NO!”
Meng Yao was trying to reach Xue Yang but he was stopped by the slash of a saber right in front of him.
A saber owned and handled by Mingjue own Captain of the Guards.
Captain who had liberated Xue Yang, apparently, on Wen Ruohan's order.
Just like Meng Yao had told him all these years ago.
Meng Yao reciprocated the slash.
“Sect Leader Nie will never let you get away with this!” the smaller man growled. "Why would you release the prisoner?"
Nie Mingjue could have wepted from the trust Meng Yao had in him.
Trust that he clearly hadn’t reciprocated enough.
The exchange of blows was clearly in the Captain favours, stronger, more experienced and all around more used to the fighting conditions that he was.
Meng Yao was avoiding every attack but clearly if Nie Mingjue didn’t intervene soon he would get himself killed.
Really? Because he wasn’t the one who was killed that day. reminded a voice in his mind that sounded way too much like Huaisang.
Nie Mingjue took a step forward.
“Who do you think the sect leader will believe? Me? Or the son of a whore who got his promotions by getting on his bac…”
With a powerful thrust Meng Yao had surged forward.
And impaled the Captain of the Guards in the middle of his chest, cutting short his sentence and his life in one go.
Nie Mingjue took another step forward.
The Captain of the Guards’s eyes glossed over.
A trembling smile crossed Meng Yao face.
“You never trusted me!”
Jubilation? or reflex from a face that smiled so often?
Another step.
Meng Yao's smile became more sharp.
“You always looked down on me”
Was it really what happened?
Another step.
Meng Yao retired his saber from the Captain of the Guards chest.
“You never try to see things from my point of view!”
Did he throw him away for nothing?
Meng Yao turned his head.
“I’m not you! Born into greatness and always sure that what I’m doing is the right thing!”
Did he push Meng Yao on the path of becoming Jin Guangyao because of this?
Meng Yao’s face became ashen gray at seeing his sect leader in front of him.
“No matter what I do, everybody always sees me as the son of a whore!”
If Meng Yao hadn’t lost his trust that day what would have happened?
“Sect Leader… I… I… I can explain I swear…”
“My father would replace me in an instant if I didn’t follow his order!”
Were Xichen and him the only people who ever saw this man as something more?
“He… He freed Xue Yang!”
“Even you Da-Ge, you never gave me as many chances as others.”
Or did he let himself be swayed too?
“I swear it’s not what it look like”
“You always think yourself so great Da-Ge but even you look down on me.”
“ SON OF A WHORE!”
“NIE-ZONGZHU!”
Meng Yao threw himself in the way of the Core-Melting-Hand’s blade.
FUCK! For a moment he forgot where and when he was.
Without fruther delay, Nie Mingjue turned around and stabbed Wen Zhuliu.
Once Nie Huaisang and his friend had arrived and the Wen had been driven away, after giving instruction for the Indoctrination, Nie Mingjue turned to Meng Yao.
Who was still bleeding on the ground.
“Sect Leader..”
He told the truth… he always told the truth… and Mingjue hadn’t believe him.
“Stay quiet! We will take care of your wound first and discuss this mess later!”
Meng Yao agreed.
When later came and they were both in the sword hall Nie Mingjue realised that he, maybe, could have been a little gentler.
Because Meng Yao was trembling and frightened.
To be honest… he was grovelling again.
In practically the same way as before, which couldn’t be comfortable for his wounds.
He explained once again the mistreatment of the Captain of the Guards, how he freed Xue Yang and how Meng Yao swore that his loyalty was to the Nie Sect and that he hadn't betrayed his trust.
He is still a good man for now. If I help him now could we change things? For the better?
Or would it be repay by another treason?
He would take this risk. He needed to take this risk. For his sake he needed to know.
Was A-Yao destined to become the cold and calculating Jin Guangyao? Or could he become someone else? Someone even more deserving of praise than Lianfang-zun ever was?
“I believe you.” he said in his most gentle voice.
The look of utter relief on his viceroy's face was more than Nie Mingjue could really handle at the moment but he did his best to hide it.
I will change things by myself if I need to! I swear it on my father’s tomb!
“You are a good man Meng Yao…” I really trust that you are. Please let it be so.
“Thank you Sect Leader.”
“... but next time someone treat you that way do not take care of it yourself. Tell me or Huaisang or Zonghui. We’re your friend we’ll deal with it!”
Meng Yao seemed astonished at that news but soon a dimpled smile appeared on his face.
Yes my friend, we will win this war and be brothers once again. And this time I will help you against your father… as much as you’ll let me!
“Yes Nie Zongzhu!”
“Good. Go rest now! You need it”
“May I remind Nie Zongzhu that he need rest too?”
“I’ll send a message to the other great sect and will go to sleep just after.”
Meng Yao gave him a doubtful look.
“I swear”
The dimples came back.
“And of course, Nie Zongzhu always keep his promises.”