Chapter Text
Cordelia groaned into her glass of red wine as she realized who was approaching the table she was occupying with her husband, their son and their best friend. She did not want to interact with Harmony 'and exactly why haven't we staked her yet' Kendall but she knew that it was an unavoidable event this evening, especially since the eternally vapid bimbo was the one who had managed to organize the ten-year reunion of the graduation class of '99.
Well, those who still lived at least.
And Harmony.
And Amy Madison, who had 'bit it' half a decade ago after some stupid fledge found her strung-out in an alley, high on dark magic. Vampire Amy had one thing that human Amy and rat Amy didn't have - the smarts to know that she would be dead in a Hellmouth minute unless she turned snitch on her fellow demons.
So she had contacted Buffy and promised to stay off human blood in return of keeping the Slayer and her little hang-arounds from staking her on sight. Not long after, Xander had called up Cordy soon thereafter to inform Angel's team that Amy and Spike were both on the no-stake-list as a result.
And Harmony, despite Cordelia's promise to dust her former best friend if she ever saw her again. Because Harmony had stumbled her way through Sunnyhell at the same time as Amy had been turned and was convinced to take the same deal.
Cordelia was like 99% sure that it was Harmony who had sired Amy in the first place but from what she had been told, she actually did Amy a favor when she did it. Getting vamped had cut the witch off from ever using magic again and she was no longer compelled to visit that dark magic drug den that had ruined her second chance at life, pulling Willow down with her in the process.
Not that Willow had ever blamed it on Amy. She had made it very clear that her descent into magic abuse had begun before she ever de-ratted the witch in the first place. Willow blamed no-one but herself and in Cordelia's opinion she did that often enough that she had almost challenged Angel for the title of 'brooder-of-the-year' at times.
"OH-MY-GOSH Cordelia I'm sooo happy to see you," Harmony screeched and Cordelia winced in recognition of the fact that her husband's sensitive ears would suffer from the noise even more than she did herself. "You all remember that I'm on the no-stakey-slayey-list now, right? Because I'm sooooo sorry for how it all ended with that cult thing and it's been almost a decade since then and don't forget that you shouldn't stake me!"
Next to Cordelia, Angel groaned. "Yes Harmony, we remember. We promised that we wouldn't stake you. Or Amy."
"And unlike you," Cordelia continued, "we actually keep our promises when we give them."
"Yeah, well, I just want to make sure. Summers and Harris never RSVP'd so I want to make it clear to everyone that this is a no-slay-zone."
Because obviously it could only had been Harmony 'life literally ended after High School' Kendall that thought it would've been a great idea to have a reunion with the survivors of the battle against the mayor. Like Amy, Harmony had lost little of herself when her soul was replaced with a demon. But - unlike the other vampire - she hadn't gotten anything but eternal youth and a chronic inability to get a good tan in the exchange. She was still the dumb and shallow bimbo she had been as a teenager and the nature of vampirism all but ensured she would never mature beyond that state.
Not that Cordelia ever thought that Harmony would be able to do so as a human anyway.
Yes, she could readily admit that she was still a teensy bit bitter over that whole betrayal thing. Give her a break; she had forgiven Willow over the fluke with Xander and it wasn't like she was a freaking saint!
She took a deep breath and felt Angel's hand on top of her own, his silent support aiding her in not loosing her cool. "Yeah, it's clear. You two keep your fangs corked and we'll have no reason to bring out the dustbins."
"Good, good." Harmony, despite being who she was, didn't miss the embraced hands. Or the wedding band on the vampire's ring finger. "So you two have finally gotten hitched then," Harmony blurted out with a nod at the jewelry in question.
"Finally," Angel replied with a small smile while Cordelia snorted.
"Yeah, finally. Had to practically beat him senseless with the fact that we were married in all but name and that-"
"AUNT CORDY! AUNT CORDY," a small girl with long, red hair shouted as she rushed towards the table and jumped into the former cheerleader's embrace. A boy, with short brown hair and who was a few years older than her, followed the girl to the table but took a seat next to Angel instead. "I beat Conny in 'Find My Marcie' and he refused to say the words as he said he wo-ould!"
Cordelia smiled and turned to her kid. "Connor Charles Chase, did you or did you not lose a bet?"
The boy nodded sullenly.
"And what did you promise Janna that you'd say if she won?"
"When I won," the girl smugly corrected her.
"That witches are much better than vampires," he muttered under his breath.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that?"
"That witches are much better than vampires," he repeated, this time in a conversational tone. "But it's not true, everyone knows that vampires are much better than witches."
"That's so true," Harmony agreed. "I know for sure that even though Cordelia and I used to rule this school, my unlife has been a blessing on the world like little else."
The boy and girl stared at her, incredulously. "Dad," Connor eventually began. "Is this the vampire that-"
Angel nodded. "Yes, this is Harmony."
"Oh my Gosh that is so awesome, even the boy of the big broody one knows who I am!" Harmony turned to the girl and would've blanched, had her unholy existence not made her incapable of doing so. She took a couple of steps to close the distance to make sure she wasn't seeing things and grinned. "Wow that little girl looks just like Rosennerd did at that age, doesn't she?" Both the adults and the kids turned mute in an instant and adopted an expression that made the Antarctic feel warm and fuzzy. "What? She so totally does. Is she here? Is it her spawn? Did she finally breed with that Ossie guy that she used to date or-"
Harmony 'soon to be replaced on the reunion committee board' Kendall's litany of increasingly fatal statements were abruptly halted by her mouth being magically sewed shut by thick black string while she hovered a feet from the ground, helpless against the interruption. From the bathroom behind her an older version of the girl in Cordelia's lap marched up to the group in a fury.
"Harmony, you stay the hell away from my daughter," she growled and her usually green eyes turned black as obsidian. "I don't give a shit about any promises I made for tonight, if you touch, speak or even lay eyes on Janna or Connor tonight then I'll make sure you'll suffer a fate that would make you beg for a good staking."
"Willow," Angel urged. "She never touched Janna. We're all safe, please let Harmony down."
"It's true," a disembodied voice affirmed. "I was ready to cut off her head at a moment's notice had she even tried to reach for little Jay." A brown-haired woman of their age shimmered into existence next to the floating vamp, a large machete in hand.
Willow closed her eyes and let the black bleed out as she removed the levitation spell she had placed on Harmony. "O-okay, sorry. I just- I just felt the anti-demon ward on Janna trigger and I really shouldn't have doubted that you three wouldn't have let anyone even remotely close to her."
"Nobody evil comes close to Jay," Connor declared with no space for any doubt.
Willow relaxed and smiled. "Not with her best cousin on the job." She turned to the mute vampire who glared at her with ill-kept contempt. "I'll remove the binding but you and Amy stay away from the kids, got it?" Wild gesticulations accompanied with a furious stare was all she got in reply. "Got it?" She repeated the words with a weight that made it clear that yes, she would be perfectly fine to keep Harmony 'vicious tramp who made Willow's life hell for a full decade' Kendall mute for the rest of her unlife.
The vampire capitulated and the magical bindings were removed. "Oww, that hurt. What did I ever do to you anyway?"
Willow stared at her, more shocked at the fact that she thought that Harmony 'I licked the same battery three times in thirty seconds (at the age of seventeen) to see if it still had a charge' Kendall would be smarter than that. "You're the only vampire who ever bit me. And you bullied me for years. And you kidnapped Dawnie. And you tried to sell out Cordy, Angel and their friends." She paused. "You also sired Amy but she was a bitca so we'll just call that a wash."
"You can't prove that I did that," Harmony protested.
"Actually, I can. Witch, remember?"
Harmony whimpered and hurried away from the group, unwilling to risk a staking if it was proven that she actually had sired the former witch. Willow sighed and hurried to embrace her daughter. "I'm sorry honey, I know you hate it when I go all black-eyed-meanie like that."
Janna leaned into the comfort of her mother. "It's okay mommy, I know why you did it."
"S-still, I shouldn't-
"And it was for the good anyway," Janna interrupted her mother.
"Oh?" Cordelia asked as Marcie faded back into invisibility and the Rosenberg family sat down by the table. "How is that?"
"Because it proved to Conny that witches are much cooler than vampires!"
Angel muttered something under his breath while his son adopted a brooding stance that made their familial connection undeniable. "Oh crap," he exclaimed and a pointed cough from his father reminded him to mind his language. "She's right. If Harmony is a vampire then..."
"It's okay," Willow reassured him. "Harmony was like that before she was turned and there's plenty of lame witches around to make your argument too."
"Case and point, the mega-wicca who just rushed out of a gym bathroom with toilet paper still stuck in one of her heels," Cordelia deadpanned.
Willow reached down to dislodge the offending article with a frown. "What? I thought I was in a hurry!"
"Besides," Marcie Ross' disembodied voice added, "everyone already knows that invisible assassins are the real badasses of the bunch."