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MONDAY 07:12
Tony has travelled by magic before - Loki can occasionally be impatient with conventional methods of transport, particularly when hungry, or tired, or horny, or all three - but this is different. Instead of the usual plummeting sensation and the uniquely uncomfortable feeling he puts down to latitudinal vertigo, this journey is smooth and utterly painless. It's as though, instead of relocating them, Loki is rearranging the entire universe around them while they stand there, hands fisted in each other's clothing. And he soon notices that they aren't taking a short cut, as unfamiliar images slip by - alien landscapes of breathtaking beauty, cities of bronze soaring into the sky, and a bridge glittering with all the colors of the... oh, right.
'Asgard...' he breathes, and the red eyes turn to him, burning with intensity.
'I wanted to show you,' Loki tells him, 'while I still could. This was the home of my youth, which I will likely never see again.'
Their surroundings begin to grow dark, and even the stars disappear until there is only emptiness. The landscape is harsh and barren, but something huge slithers past, just on the edge of Tony's vision, and he shudders. 'Where are we now?'
'This is The Void.' And even now, with all the power at his command, Loki shivers too. 'When I fell from the Rainbow Bridge, there was nothing left to me,' he says quietly, 'I no longer had a home, or a family. I saw no reason not to destroy myself, and others with me.'
Tony starts to pull him closer, to comfort him, but then all of a sudden they are standing on the terrace of Stark Tower, looking out over New York, with the setting sun painting the city gold. 'And now,' Loki continues, 'I have all the home and family I will ever need, because I have you. I thought you should know that.'
He plants a soft kiss on Tony's lips, his hands caressing his neck, his shoulders and chest, and coming to rest on either side of Tony's waist. 'I am sorry I caused you to worry, but I am back now, and safe. Let us think to the future, and not the past.' Slowly, teasingly, he moves forward until they are pressed against each other, and Tony's breath roughens. But then he grabs Loki's shoulders and holds him at arm's length.
'You think you can just fuck with my head like that, then distract me with your sexy voice and your sexy moves, and everything's all ok again?'
Loki eyes him from beneath lowered lashes with a knowing smile.
'OK, fine,' Tony grumbles, 'you totally can. For now, anyway. You should know that I'm still mad at you, and I still want to punch you hard in the face, but not as much as I want to take you next door and do stuff to you I don't even think they have a name for. So, one thing at a time. Are you going to get into that bedroom or do I have to call for back-up?'
Loki grins, his teeth white against the blue of his lips. 'Now that would be interesting. However, I will put up no resistance. Come,' he stretches out his arms in a gesture of surrender. 'You have already won. Will you claim your prize?'
*
Afterward, Tony is lying on his back, his arms spread out on either side of him, staring up at the ceiling with the look of a man who's just had an epiphany. He seems boneless, exhausted, as though every ounce of energy has been wrung from him, which is more or less the truth. Loki raises his head from Tony's chest with a self-satisfied smile.
'I hope that you have not made plans for today. You realise we have only just begun?'
Tony laughs weakly. 'If I wasn't so tired, I might actually be scared! I survived you throwing me out of a window but this might actually kill me.' He lets out a slow breath. 'Still, I can't think of a better way to go. God, that was so... You're just... ' Tony shakes his head, lost for words. 'Fuck...'
With a smile, Loki lays his head back down, and they lie there quietly for a while, with Tony's fingers combing through Loki's dark hair. And Tony's eyes are still fixed on the ceiling as he asks musingly, 'So, you're blue now, huh?'
Loki goes perfectly still. 'For the time being, yes. Does it bother you?'
'Not even a bit.' Tony takes one of Loki's hands and twining their fingers together, he holds it up to the light, like a precious object. 'That'll be the cobalt, I guess. It's hydroxylated, so you get a C-H bond activation, and in a transition state...' He trails off and runs his fingers down the silky blue underside of Loki's forearm. 'It's beautiful actually. You are. I could just look at you all day.'
'And I could listen to you all day. You have been alive for such a short time, and yet you have already learnt so much. How is that?'
Tony looks more than usually smug. 'Um, genius, hello? Plus I read your medical file and then I did some reading of my own. Your mind's kind of a mystery, so I figured I'd try and get to know the rest of you as well as I possibly could. And I think I'm doing a pretty good job there, wouldn't you say?' He feels Loki snort softly against the sensitive skin of his chest. 'There's one thing I don't get though - shouldn't your skin burn me? According to the notes, I shouldn't be able to touch you, which, I have to say, would be a terrible shame. So how?'
Loki removes his hand from Tony's grasp and examines it, slender fingers turning this way and that, 'With these powers, I can stop that from happening.' He looks up at Tony, his expression serious. 'Real power is the ability to keep those you care about from harm. I would never allow myself to hurt you, you know that?'
'Mmmm..' Tony is feeling the gentle tug of sleep and he closes his eyes with a happy smile, only to open them again as he feels Loki's head lift from his chest. 'Wher'you going?' he mumbles, his mind still fogged with exhaustion. Loki stretches out on his side, facing Tony, propped up on one elbow with a mischievous smile quirking his lips.
'You are in love with me then?'
Surprise clears the sleep instantly from Tony's brain as he remembers his hurried conversation with Thor during the rescue. 'Oh, you remember that? I didn't know you were listening.'
'Some things are hard to miss.'
Tony pulls himself upright in the bed. 'Yeah well, it seemed like the best way to break the news about us to Thor. I was considering "Did you know that your brother has the most biteable ass I've ever seen?" but I think I made the right choice.'
'Indeed,' Loki nods. 'Thor can be something of a prude. Still, it was a strange way to hear those words for the first time.'
Oh god, this is it, thinks Tony - it's time for 'the conversation'. The god is watching him steadily, and Tony feels the prickle of sweat on the back of his neck which he always associates with moments of emotional honesty. 'I'm not great at this part of relationships,' he admits, stalling for time. 'You know, the bit where we're all open and honest about our feelings. Just ask Pepper, she'll back me up.'
Loki raises an eyebrow. 'I shall look forward to having that conversation one day. But right now, you do not have to say anything. Neither of us do. Let us just enjoy tonight, without explanations or declarations. It is enough that we are here, together.'
Loki closes his eyes with a quiet smile, signifying the end of the talk, and Tony feels an odd pang of disappointment. Confused at first, he gradually starts to realise that, far from dreading this moment, a part of him has been longing for it. He wants to tell Loki how he feels, to push through the awkwardness of the moment and bare his soul to the person who matters most in the world. He wants his love to be acknowledged, and celebrated, and who knows? even reciprocated. But he won't pressure Loki, not now, not after everything he's been through. Tonight is about making the god feel safe again, and Tony's own feelings will have to go on hold. There are still a thousand questions of course, but most of them can wait - the only answer he truly cares about is stretched out beside him, practically purring with contentment. Tony's eyes linger on the slender form, the long legs, the lustrous dark hair, and he knows he'll be willing to wait for as long as it takes. Loki is worth an eternity of waiting. Until then, he decides to change the subject altogether.
'So you can change your body chemistry, deflect bullets, take us to Asgard and back. What else can you do?'
Loki's eyes open slowly and meet his. 'I can read your thoughts.'
'Oh! OK. What am I thinking now?'
Loki's eyebrows shoot up. 'JARVIS, please tell your employer that he has a filthy mind!'
'I believe he knows that, Sir,' comes the reply. 'I do tell him often enough.'
'I wonder. Did you know he was just thinking of...' A hand clamps over Loki's mouth at this point, and his speech turns muffled, but he quickly twists himself free. '...a disembodied threesome with you?' He sits up in bed, affecting a prim expression. 'Are you not appalled?'
'Every day,' sighs the AI.
Loki turns to Tony with a look of mock disapproval. 'You are a depraved man. But also a brave one, to tussle with me now, knowing what I am capable of.'
'Oh, you can't quite drop it, can you?' Tony teases him. "I'm so dangerous, I can't be trusted, I might just kill you all on a whim." I think you secretly miss us being afraid of you. I mean, not that I ever was, of course, but the others, you know, they're a timid bunch.'
Loki is watching him with his increasingly-familiar “Have you quite finished yet?” expression. Then he shrugs. 'Interesting - not so long ago I would have choked you with your own entrails for daring to speak to me like that. And yet now I find myself oddly charmed by your prattle. So who knows, maybe you are right, and I am no longer as dangerous as I would have myself believe. Perhaps I never was.'
He trails his fingers lightly down Tony's chest, and it occurs to Tony that dangerous is exactly the right word for Loki. However, a different train of thought seems to be preoccupying the god, and his hand stops, resting affectionately on Tony's stomach.
'I was adopted, did you know that?'
Ah. This is not a conversation Tony had pictured them having any time soon, and he answers carefully. 'Thor might have said something, yeah, but I didn't want to pry. OK, I totally did. What happened?'
Loki's eyes seem to be fixed on a distant time and place as he continues. 'I was the child of Odin's enemy, taken along with the spoils of battle. Odin raised me as his own, or at least that is what he thought he was doing. But I knew. Even before he told me who I really was, I knew that I was not his. I always felt like the interloper, the cuckoo within the nest, and I could not bear it, so I decided to become the viper instead. I thought I was fulfilling my destiny by destroying the house of Odin from within. I was so angry...'
Tony puts a hand on Loki's shoulder and feels it shaking ever so slightly.
'They did try,' the god continues. 'Frigga was a true mother to me, and Odin... I believe he cared for me too. But it was not enough. I can see my jealousy now, curled around my innards like a snake, dripping poison into my veins.' He shakes his head sadly. 'Such a waste. And the things I did to Thor..'
'Thor really loves you, you know,' Tony tells him gently, and Loki looks up at him with wide eyes, suddenly full of wonder. 'I do know,' he replies. 'At least, now I do. There is so much that I...' He breaks off, and falls silent, and Tony looks anxiously over at him. A strange and beatific expression has come over Loki's face, and Tony feels more than ever that he will never fully understand what goes on inside that dark head. He watches Loki lose himself in his own inner world for a while, until he becomes jealous and interrupts the reverie.
'Being with you is one emotional rollercoaster! I don't know much more of this my heart can take!'
Snapping out of his trance, Loki drapes a leg wantonly over his, and a wicked hand continues the journey it had previously left off, gliding downward from his navel. 'Perhaps...just a little more?' the god suggests, before breaking into a snigger. 'If you are deliberately trying to shock me with your thoughts, you will have to try harder than that, Tony Stark.' A moment later, Loki lets out a gasp. 'Enough! I concede. You truly have no shame at all.' He moves on top of Tony in one sinuous movement, and looks down at him with a faint challenge whilst wriggling his hips distractingly. 'Fortunately, neither have I.'
And the beautiful, blue-skinned being above him bends down and whispers in Tony's ear. 'You should know, there is no version of this where you come out on top.'
Tony grasps the narrow waist with both hands, making Loki squirm even harder. 'Oh, you did not just say that!'
Loki's answering grin is delighted as he throws back his head and laughs with pure pleasure.
* * * * *
Time no longer matters.
It might be hours, it might even be days later when JARVIS interrupts their happiness with a discreet cough. 'Sirs, forgive my intrusion, but Director Fury is here to see you.'
Tony and Loki glance at each other lazily, both reluctant to leave their cosy nest. 'Which one of us are you talking to, J?' Tony drawls, but Loki is already sitting up in bed.
'I believe he is here for me. There are still important details to be discussed regarding my mission and he has been patient enough.' He looks regretfully over his shoulder. 'You will still be here when I get back?'
'Not going anywhere,' Tony assures him. 'I don't think my legs work anyway. I'd have to wear the suit just to make it to the front door.'
He makes a grab for Loki, and the two of them tumble backward onto the bed again.
'Mmm, not so powerless as you would have me believe,' Loki chides gently. 'But do not forget Director Fury...'
'Not my type,' Tony says, nuzzling at Loki's neck. 'I like them younger, hotter, and crazier.' He pins Loki to the bed and kisses him hard, but after giving in for a few luxuriant seconds, Loki slips out from beneath him. 'I must go. And you should conserve your strength for my return.' As he walks away from the bed, he changes in one instant from unclothed to clothed, albeit simply in black t-shirt and jeans, his feet bare. Meanwhile, his hair unruffles, smoothing itself neatly back.
'Teacher's pet,' Tony mutters sulkily, and without even glancing behind him, Loki flicks his fingers and Tony finds himself ejected from the bed and ignominiously dumped onto the floor in a tangle of sheets.
'Son of a...' he protests helplessly as the door closes on Loki's mischievous grin.
Nick Fury has made himself comfortable and is examining a piece of tech Tony had left on a side table. Loki greets him politely, and Fury, as always, gets straight to the point. 'Have you had time for a full recovery?' His expression is deadpan but his tone leaves no doubt as to the implied meaning of the word 'recovery'. Loki pretends not to notice.
'Your tact was appreciated, Director,' he replies casually. 'I am well 'recovered', yes, thanks to Mr Stark. But, we have work to do, do we not? Can I offer you a drink first?' Loki goes to the fridge and frowns at the contents. 'I will never get used to your diabolical concoctions. I would trade a year of my life for a simple cask of mead.'
Fury watches him thoughtfully. 'That's interesting - you're omnipotent, why don't you just magic up a drink? Why go to the trouble of getting it yourself?'
'Because.' Loki replies sternly without looking up. 'It is dangerous to live like that. I am not a god, and I do not wish to forget it again, especially now when it would be so easy.' He taps his fingers impatiently on the refrigerator door, then shuts it with greater than necessary force. 'Director, I have made the decision to revert to my former self. I wish to lose this power and I know exactly how to do it.'
His expression is vaguely confrontational, as if he expects opposition, but if Fury is surprised or disappointed, it's impossible to tell. 'We could use you,' he says. 'You're pretty much invincible like this which makes you one kick-ass agent. Not that you weren't one already, but...'
'Nobody should have this much power, least of all me,' Loki interrupts tersely. 'And besides, you have the serum should you have dire need of my powers again.'
Fury is still watching him fixedly, and Loki stands up, unable to endure the scrutiny. He moves gracefully around the room, affecting nonchalance, and yet Fury is familiar enough with his mannerisms to know that he is deeply uncomfortable. Finally, after pointlessly rearranging some knick-knacks on a mantelpiece, the god stops with his back to Fury.
'And there is another reason too,' he says quietly. 'I don't want this. All this power, this knowledge. I don't want it...'
Fury laughs dryly. 'Well there's a phrase I never thought I'd hear you say.'
Loki shoots him a dark look over his shoulder but Fury ignores it. 'You finally have the thing which brought you to Earth in the first place. You were desperate for power then, and now that you've hit the jackpot, you don't want it. I have to wonder - what do you want?'
Loki doesn't answer, but his eyes flick toward the door leading toward the bedroom, and something which is not entirely unlike a smile appears on Fury's lips. 'Yeah, that's what I thought.'
Loki's knuckles tighten on the mantel, but Fury isn't mocking him. His voice is earnest as he adds, 'You know, I give Stark a hard time, but only because I think he needs it. He's a good man, he just has to be reminded of that sometimes. Maybe that's something you can help each other with.'
'I do not need help,' Loki replies, a trifle sulkily, and Fury raises an eyebrow behind his back.
'Sure you don't. None of you do. You're the most well-adjusted bunch of people I've ever met.' Loki stares at him, his eyes narrowed, but Fury is maintaining a perfect poker face. Eventually though, the Director relents just a fraction. 'Look, it's not usually my job to take in interest in my agents' personal lives, but you're something of an exception. Your personal issues have got people killed in the past, and it is my job to make sure that that doesn't happen again. So whether it matters to you or not, I'm good with this. I think you've made a good decision.'
Loki is affecting a sardonic tone, but there is a genuine question in his eyes as he asks, 'Do I pass your test, then?'
'Do you still worry about that?' Fury counters. 'You passed ‘the test' a while back. And here's something else you need to think about. You're more powerful than ever now - I'm pretty sure none of the others could take you, but not one of them has come forward and said “That was a really bad idea, what the hell were you thinking giving Loki that much power??” They trust you now without even thinking about it.' He pauses for emphasis before continuing. 'Maybe you didn't set out to be a part of the team, but you are one now, like it or not.'
Loki seems to relax a little, and he collapses gracefully into an armchair next to Fury. 'You people astound me,' he admits. 'I did not expect anything from you but vengeance, and I never thought to find acceptance here.' He forces himself to look the Director in the eyes. 'Even after I killed Agent Coulson, still you....' Loki stops abruptly, and a frown comes over his face. 'But...Coulson is not dead?'
Fury's impassive expression cracks with surprise. 'You know what, you're definitely right, it's for the best that you don't keep these powers. I'm ordering you to stop reading my mind, now! I mean it.'
Loki almost looks contrite for a moment, but the expression is so unaccustomed that it soon fades and is replaced with wry interest. Fury sighs. 'OK, let's make the most of your pimped-up superpowers while we can. Tell me everything you know about Hydra...'
* * * * *
Tony is late back the following night. He left Stark Tower in the afternoon, muttering something about 'important business', and didn't return for several hours. Upon his arrival, JARVIS is there to greet him with the words, 'Mr Loki has asked me to pass on a message. He requests the pleasure of your company on the terrace. Black tie is optional.'
Intrigued, Tony is about to head straight for the terrace, but then he thinks better of it and slips back to his room to change. Not too much, just a clean shirt and a quick tidy-up, then he goes to join Loki, tingling inwardly with anticipation.
Music is playing softly as he steps out onto the terrace, and a dining table is laid for two, with candlelight flickering over it. Loki is lounging beside it wearing a dark suit and a black shirt, open at the collar to show a 'v' of blue skin. His legs are propped up on the parapet and crossed at the ankle and he holds a champagne glass in one hand while the other dangles loosely from the arm of the chair. He is staring out over the city and his posture is relaxed, more relaxed than Tony remembers ever seeing it. Loki is usually a coiled spring, a wild animal tensed for an attack. Now he looks like a panther draped sleepily over a high branch, surveying his domain.
Tony stops and takes in the view for a moment. 'Hey, you.'
Loki turns to smile at him. 'Hello. You are late, of course, so I began without you.'
'Smart move. Well, this is all great, and you look amazing. What do you want?' Tony asks, only half joking.
Loki laughs. 'Keenly observed. In fact, I do have a favor to ask of you.'
'Go for it, though if this is about that t-shirt, I've told you before, it's my favorite. You can share it, but you can't have it, that's my final word.'
Loki rises to his feet and takes Tony's hand, pulling him forward into a kiss. 'Foolish man,' he murmurs against Tony's cheek, as his other hand slides down his chest, stopping just above the arc reactor. 'The favour is this - I need you to take my power away.'
Tony pulls away in surprise. 'What? Seriously? But your magic, it's a part of you.'
Loki shakes his head. 'I will not lose all of it, just enough that I will be as I was. I simply do not wish for the burden of too much power - I am not ready for it.'
'Okaaay...but how does this work? Is there a risk to you?' Tony asks suspiciously, and again Loki shakes his head, ruby eyes never leaving Tony's.
'Only that I will again be weak, anxious, misguided, just as I was before. But that no longer frightens me. I know who I am now, thanks to you.'
Tony brushes Loki's cheek with a kiss. 'And I'll love you whatever you are. Fine, if you can promise me you'll be safe, OK, let's do this.'
'You are a wonder, Tony Stark,' Loki whispers affectionately. 'But first, I have a gift for you.' Tony is about to make a glib remark when he registers the seriousness on Loki's face, and stays silent as Loki goes on. 'You and I, we find it hard to believe in love, or to trust that we are loved. And yet this power has given me insight into a great many things, and I can feel the truth of your feelings for me as a reality, surrounding me and holding me close.' He pauses, breathless, before continuing. 'I will never doubt you again, and I wish to give you the same assurance of my feelings for you, so that you need never be jealous or unsure. Do not be afraid.'
'I'm not...' Tony begins, but as Loki raises his hand, and tender fingers stroke the side of Tony's face, all words are suddenly drawn from him. He gapes soundlessly at the sensation of a vast enveloping emotion which pours into him like sunlight. It's bright, fierce, overwhelming, glorious, and he gropes for Loki's hand, feeling the narrow fingers close around his. As Loki's touch leaves his temple, the joyous wave subsides, but Tony knows that it will always be there, invisible but powerful, and for the first time in his life, he understands the comfort of a higher power.
'Did you feel it?' Loki asks him and Tony simply nods while his other faculties return to him. A few moments later, he is able to mumble faintly, 'Yeah, I felt it.'
'I love you.' Loki looks deep into Tony's eyes. 'And I trust you. Do you trust me?'
Tony doesn't speak, he just takes Loki's hand and presses it silently to his own chest. The odd tingling feeling begins, the one he always feels when Loki touches the reactor, but this time it grows into a great surge of energy, as if his whole body is expanding to fill the universe. It is intense, invigorating, so that when Loki sags against him, he can easily take his weight. The blue colour seeps from Loki's skin, leaving it even whiter than usual, and as the god's eyes flicker open briefly, Tony can see the familiar green irises around hugely dilated pupils. He himself feels young and invincible, and as he looks down at the delicate, pale face, lashes fluttering, he knows he can look after Loki, that he's strong enough. He holds the god in his arms, cradling him gently against his chest until Loki stirs and sighs, straightening up. He steps back and his knees begin to buckle, but Tony reaches for him and holds him up effortlessly. Loki leans in for a moment, then disengages, smiling with a trace of embarrassment. 'Merely a head-rush, I am recovered now. Perhaps some food will help - shall we eat?'
They sit down at the table, and as DUM-E serves them to the first course, Tony asks curiously, 'So if I just absorbed some of your mystical mojo, am I like a wizard now?'
Loki almost chokes on his appetiser. 'Hardly. You will notice increased power levels, that is all, so be careful how you use your weaponry.'
'Aren't I always?' Tony retorts, earning an eye roll from Loki.
The food is superb, and the conversation turns to laughter and more trivial matters, and after more champagne and coffee there is dancing, with Loki leaning his head on Tony's shoulder as they move slowly to the music. The moment is perfect, so perfect in fact that Tony is loath to interrupt it, even for this. But then, feeling the soft dark hair against his cheek, and Loki's happy sigh against his neck, he knows that he wants this. And after what Loki just showed him, he can dare to hope that the god wants it too.
He starts off tentatively. 'I've got to say, that was the best gift I've ever been given, and Obadiah once gave me a Learjet with a jacuzzi in it.'
'You are welcome, my love,' Loki murmurs, still swaying gently, too caught up in the mood to be drawn into conversation.
Tony persists, 'And actually it's kind of funny because I have a gift for you too.'
That succeeds in getting Loki's attention, and the god looks up expectantly as Tony reaches into his pocket. 'So,' explains Tony, a slight flush colouring his face, 'you lost the tracker ring on the mission with Nat (it's still back in the cave as far as I know) so I made you another, because I'm not losing you again.' He pulls out a small box and holds it in the palm of his hand. 'But it's not just a tracker, it means something else too. You know what you said yesterday about looking to the future? Well I've been doing that and the whole future kind of hangs on one thing now. I want you with me. And so...'
'So...?', Loki echoes, a vaguely alarmed look coming over his face.
'Um, I spoke to Thor and I asked him how you do this on Asgard, but he wasn't overly helpful. Something about exchanging swords while being “besprinkled with the blood of a newly-killed goat”. It sounded horrible, and really messy, no offence to your culture. Still, he definitely mentioned rings being a thing there too.'
Tony opens the box, revealing an exquisite palladium ring, set with diamonds in the shape of a tiny arc reactor. 'It's kind of symbolic.' he adds, feeling oddly self-conscious.
Loki hasn't taken his eyes off Tony this whole time, and they are growing larger by the second. He looks down at the ring now, and back up at Tony again.
'What are you asking of me?'
'I'm asking you to marry me. Clearly not very well.'
Loki is shaking his head, and Tony feels the first hint of panic. 'Is that a no? Because that's just not going to work for me. I'll keep trying, and I can be very persistent, you'll see. It'll save time if you just say yes now, and I can...' Loki stops his mouth with a kiss, and doesn't break it for a long time.
'It is a yes, you wonderful ridiculous creature. How could it be anything else?'
And it strikes Tony as his heart fills to bursting that the first time they met at the top of Stark Tower, Loki warned him that he would yield everything to the god. That he would be conquered. And that now, not quite two years later, his words are proved right.