in the place we find our person

by IorekoftheHorde

Summary:

Catra needs a breath of fresh air.

How this leads her to a house-swap website, she can't quite recall.

Notes:

• For Jezmatron.

Written as part of the SPoP Flex Secret Solstice exchange for the wonderful Jezmatron! I hope you like it!

This fic follows a similar route to that of the film The Holiday (2006).

If you've seen it, great! If not, this version is *gayer* and only focuses on one of the two storylines. You'll see which.

Be prepared for a mash-up of bits directly inspired by the film, and my own imagination. If you haven't seen the film then just generally prepare yourself!

 

Catra: Hey, I’m interested in renting your house. Is it still available?

 

Catra: Are you there? 

 

Catra: I’m wondering if your house is available this Christmas, because if it is, you could be a real lifesaver.

 

Catra: I know it’s stupidly late to ask, but if you’re at all interested please let me know. 

 

Glimmer: I’m absolutely interested! 100%!! Buuuuut the cottage is really only available for home exchange.

 

Glimmer: We’d switch houses, cars, everything. I haven’t done it before but I know a few people who have. 

 

Glimmer: Where are you???

 

Catra: F.Z. 

 

Glimmer: I’ve never been, but always really wanted to go! I’m Glimmer, by the way. I’m very normal, promise. Pink hair, neat-freak, healthy, non-smoker. Single. 

 

Catra: I’m Catra. Loner, loser and complicated wreck. 

 

Glimmer: Hi! 

 

Catra: Hey.

 

Catra: By the way, your house looks really… nice, I guess. Just what I need. 

 

Glimmer: Really? Nice? Wow, thanks. What does your place look like?

 

Catra: It’s cool — little bigger than yours. 

 

Glimmer: Not hard to be. 

 

Catra: Can I just ask one thing?

 

Glimmer: Sure! 

 

Catra: Are there any /women/ in your town? 

 

Glimmer: Zero. 

 

Catra: When can I come? 

 

Glimmer: Tomorrow too soon???

 

Catra: Tomorrow it is. 

—————

Angella doesn’t often call Adora to check on Glimmer, but when she does, Adora knows that it’s time for action stations before Glimmer ups and does something rash. Generally, she has about two days until someone gets an ominous note in the mail, or until Glimmer takes it upon herself to personally visit a potential partner’s parents to file a complaint about their kid. Both of those things have only happened once or twice, so by now Angella’s able to recognise the signs of a brokenhearted Glimmer who’s about to do something she may regret. 

 

According to what Angella told her, Glimmer bought a Christmas present for someone she’s been seeing at work, only for them to announce their engagement to someone else in front of everybody moments later. 

 

Adora isn’t surprised by this news, if she’s honest. Glimmer’s been going on for months about her new paramore , how she finally felt like she’d found The One. Adora already knew it wouldn’t work out; the signs were there all along. They kept Glimmer at an arm's length at all times, only texted or called when they needed her, and the two of them barely went on dates further than their work’s cafeteria or one of their bedrooms. Office romances like that rarely work out, but Adora knows how Glimmer tends to not see the signs, or maybe her sister just ignores them and hopes they don’t mean what she fears they do. 

 

It’s lucky, really, that Adora is back in town early for the weekend to be able to do this. She hates the commute; leaving Thaymor to trundle into the city on a train every week really drains her, and she’s usually tired when she gets home at the end of it. She’s only got to go into work one more time next week, and then she’s free for Christmas up until just after New Years. Adora always tries to save as many holiday days as she can for the end of the year, these days in particular, because she still loves it even though… even if she isn’t… 

 

Adora shivers, hugging the warm, wool coat closer around her in an attempt to hoard as much heat within it as she can. Her scarf, bright red and long enough to wrap around her neck and face three times that used to belong to… someone else is a comforting softness around her neck that she only lets herself really feel around wintertime. She burrows her nose further into it, basking in the memories it brings momentarily, before lifting her head again to watch her step as she navigates the frosty, frozen trail toward Glimmer’s cottage. 

 

Reliving the past through the memories a scarf brings can’t really distract Adora enough that she completely forgets what she’s missing, however. Angella happened to call her just as she was about to approach another woman who she’d caught staring a little too much across the bar of a local pub. Of course Adora assured her mother that she’s free to check on Glimmer, she couldn’t not , and it’s not as if Adora actually knew the woman’s name. So, still a little frustrated having been denied a chat with a lovely looking lady, Adora sucks it up and trudges, alone, up the short path to Glimmer’s front door. 

 

Whoever it was casting side-eyes at Adora all night from across the bar is, however, soon forgotten. 

 

The woman who answers the door is definitely not Glimmer. Adora is struck, frozen, immediately rooted to the spot by two different coloured eyes, messy short brown hair, freckles everywhere, a cocked eyebrow and an unsure smile that’s slowly turning into a smirk as those gorgeous eyes take Adora in from head to toe.

 

If you were to ask how many partners Adora has had, her answer these days, if she had a drink or two in her already, would honestly be a number higher than she’s willing to admit to sober. She never keeps their numbers, especially if they’re from the city, because she knows that she comes with too much baggage; both emotional and literal. Glimmer’s favourite story to share is that Adora has bedded every lesbian in Thaymor, even though Adora swears right back that that isn’t true . Living out here, surrounded by nothing but empty fields, evergreens, and the skeletons of trees that already shed their leaves in the autumn, Adora often wonders if Glimmer forgets that Thaymor isn’t that small. Sure, Adora runs into some women who remember her every now and then, but when they ask why Adora never called, all Adora can do is apologise and say she isn’t looking for anything more. 

 

So, why is it that just staring into this stranger’s eyes—who’s standing in her sister’s house in a white knit sweater, sleep shorts, and fluffy slippers that look vaguely like blue cats—makes Adora want to just hand over her number here and now and get lost in whatever this person has to say? 

 

‘I know it’s not Halloween anymore, but I wouldn’t mind giving you a treat.’ 

 

Adora blanches. She did not mean to say that out loud. 

 

Not to this woman, anyway. 

 

‘Uhm! I mean– I– No, I–’ she stammers, trying desperately to find the words to defend herself and waving her hands out in front of her as if to ward off whatever wrath this beautiful woman will cast down upon her. 

 

Gods, she really is stunning. Adora has definitely never seen her around before, she is certain she would have remembered if she had. 

 

Those lips, instead of throwing Adora to the wolves, just form into a deadly, confident smirk. ‘A treat, huh?’ 

 

Adora realises all too late that she’s been staring at this woman’s mouth for far too long, and when she looks back up to her eyes Adora can tell that she’s noticed because she looks smug as fuck and gods is that a good look on her. Adora swallows, takes a deep breath, and…

 

‘I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that, I just– You– I wasn’t expecting—’ 

 

‘Me?’ The woman asks, letting go of the door to lean against the doorframe. She rests her head against it too, and Adora gets a great view of her neck. Adora can’t help but look. She doesn’t even know her name, but Adora already feels herself wanting , her breathing getting heavy and, even though it’s freezing out here on the doorstep, she’s fucking burning up . 

 

‘I– Well– Yeah ,’ Adora breathes, officially giving up on trying to form coherent sentences for the moment. The woman must take pity on her, because she throws her head back and laughs, cackles even, with the most adorable, squeaky sound Adora’s ever heard. A foreign warmth blooms to life in Adora’s chest. 

 

Oh, now that’s a dangerous feeling to be having around someone she just met . 

 

‘I guess you know Glimmer?’ The woman asks. Adora nods, incapable of speech at present due to her sudden realisation that she may already have a crush on this person. ‘Cool. Well, don’t stand out there in the cold, it’s freezing and you look like you’ve walked a ways. I’ll make you a drink or something.’ 

 

Adora nods again, and follows the woman inside.   

—————

Glimmer fucking lied . 

 

This is the thought that passes through Catra’s head as she walks back through the, quite frankly, ridiculously cosy cottage to the kitchen. The whole point of this holiday was to get away from everything for a while, to just wallow in the inevitable sadness her break-up brought her, to not think about anything or anyone and to definitely not be within range of any stupid, stupidly hot women who have no buisness being that hot and cute while sputtering on her (Glimmer’s) doorstep. And yet, afraid that this fucking Christmas angel was about to leave, despite the way she had obviously been staring at Catra’s lips, Catra found herself inviting her in. Two days in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere, despite having everything Catra set out to find, had still made her feel this sense of loneliness that she wasn’t really equipped to handle. 

 

‘I’m Adora, by the way. Glimmer’s sister.’ 

 

Catra whirls around to find Adora shuffling in place at the threshold to the kitchen, seemingly nervous in a house she’s obviously familiar with. Sister. Okay, that makes sense. Adora coming by to see her sister might be a normal happening for them, but it does mean that Glimmer clearly didn’t let her know she was leaving, and Catra’s already been here for two days. Are they not close then? 

 

‘Catra,’ she replies, because she’s still reeling from being in the presence of a woman that’s making her body feel things that her mind doesn’t know if she’s up to right now, and isn’t really prepared to let her mouth say anything else until she’s had a moment to process. Adora fucking used some cheesy pick-up line as soon as she saw Catra, so she must be a lesbian (right?), a dumb one but still kind of sweet, and Catra would be lying if she said she wasn’t interested—but she just feels conflicted. She broke up with her long-term girlfriend days—maybe a week—ago, and even though she knew it was coming it still hit her pretty hard. 

 

Adora excuses herself to the bathroom, she knows where it is, and Catra takes a moment to chug some water from the tap, slamming the glass down on the worktop a little harder than she meant to. 

 

Catra doesn’t really feel equipped to deal with a hot lesbian in her holiday home, which happens to be said hot lesbian’s sister’s house, so is Catra technically the guest? 

 

It’s very confusing. 

 

Catra dutifully reminds herself that, even though Adora came onto her, she isn’t looking for anything serious at the moment. Not so soon. She can’t. But…

 

She’s single now. It doesn’t even feel like it would be a rebound. Catra’s girlfriend had been distant for months before Catra ended things, and Catra had already accepted and come to terms with them breaking up being an inevitability long in advance. It still hit her hard to go through with it, officially ending things and leading her ex to where Catra had dumped all of her shit onto their gravel drive for her to deal with herself, but she feels okay now? 

 

Catra groans, flicking on the kettle and fiddling with the hem of her sweater while she waits for it to boil and for Adora to come back. She really doesn’t know what she’s doing. Why is she even entertaining any kind of possibility where Adora actually wants anything like that from her? Has it really been that long since someone used a pick-up line on her? Is Catra honestly that desperate to be loved, held, wanted? 

 

Maybe. 

 

The reality of their situation calms Catra for a moment. She only has the house for another week and a half, so she doesn’t have to stick around. If nothing happens, if they just become friends (and Catra really could use a friend) then that’s fine. There don’t have to be any strings attached, she can enjoy some time with the sister of the person whose house she’s staying in and then leave and that’ll be that. She’ll never see any of them again anyway, so what’s the harm? 

 

It’s not like she’ll fall in love with someone she just met. 

—————

‘Okay, Adora. You got this! It’s just a beautiful woman in your sister’s house, with no sister in sight, who has the most incredible eyes you’ve ever seen and the first thing you said to her was a shitty pick-up line meant for someone you’d been staring at for almost an hour in a pub! Gods! Why am I such a mess?’ Adora mutters to the mirror, grabbing at the sides of her head and squeezing a little to ground herself. It only sort of distracts her from the fact that Catra is in her sister’s house. 

 

Adora has seen lots of people over the last few years, taken some home, taken some on dates, bought presents for a couple on their birthdays, and she got more confident with it over time. Dating, that is. Or, well, trying to date. None of them really stuck for her though, none had that spark she was looking for. What Adora is afraid of now, though, is that Catra caught her attention immediately. She’s quick, witty, snarky, traits Adora didn’t even know she loved until she saw Catra briefly exhibit them so flawlessly. 

 

Oh, gods , this is going to be a disaster. 

 

‘I’m a disaster,’ Adora whispers to the mirror, staring herself down while she removes her hair band before redoing her ponytail, agonising over it just a little more than she normally would. ‘But that’s okay. Just be you, Adora. Just be you. You got this. Pew pew!’ Adora cringes, looking down at the finger guns she just shot at her reflection. Someone used to find her awkwardness endearing, maybe Catra will too? 

 

A girl can dream. 

—————

‘So, uh, where is Glimmer?’ Is the first question Adora asks upon returning to the kitchen, where Catra spent the last gods know how long just sort of staring into space. 

 

‘She didn’t tell you?’ Catra returns, quickly straightening her posture while turning to make eye-contact with the blonde. Is it a challenge? Maybe. This is technically more Adora’s house than it is hers, but she kind of feels territorial anyway. Also, Adora looks stupidly cute in her coat and scarf. Catra briefly entertains the idea of offering to hang them up for her guest, but she isn’t sure how long Adora’s staying for so she keeps her mouth shut. 

 

‘She could’ve done,’ Adora replies with a sigh, burying her hands in her coat pockets,‘but she's pretty prone to just jumping head-first into these kinds of things.’ 

 

Catra mulls that over for a moment. Glimmer didn’t sound erratic or emotional on the web-chat they used to set this up. Adora shifts a little from foot to foot, so Catra throws her a bone. ‘Well, to answer your question, she’s in F.Z.’ 

 

‘The Fright Zone?’ Catra actually laughs at the incredulity in Adora’s tone. 

 

‘Not it’s actual name, but yes,’ she replies, unable to help the smile that spreads across her face. ‘As a resident I will allow the mention of my home’s nasty nickname.’ 

 

‘Oh, sorry.’ 

 

‘It’s fine.’ 

 

‘But still, F.Z.? That’s not possible. Glimmer never goes anywhere. Usually . Nowhere outside the country, anyway. Never that far .’ 

 

‘I guess we got that in common,’ Catra shrugs, turning to look out the kitchen window for a moment, just sort of watching the snow as it slowly dances to the ground. ‘Look, your sister listed her home on a home exchange website and I found it and now we’ve switched houses for two weeks. For the holiday. Glimmer’s in F.Z. at my house and I’m… here.’ 

 

‘That’s a thing people do?’ Adora frowns, seemingly making a habit of being completely off-guard about the whole thing. Had Glimmer really not told her family anything? 

 

‘Apparently. Yeah. I mean, look at me. Here I am in my pajamas thousands of miles away from home in your sister’s house so—’ 

 

‘Yeah, yeah, okay. I get it. I’m just so…’ Adora also stares out the window for a moment, and Catra takes the opportunity to watch a drop of melted snow outline the curve of her neck. Fuck . ‘I should check in on her soon, see if she’s okay.’ 

 

Catra clears her throat, looking away before Adora can catch her staring. ‘Well I think the kettle boiled like an hour ago so I’ll make you that drink. Coffee okay? Tea?’ 

 

‘Oh, actually some hot chocolate would be amazing right now. It’s at the back of the top shelf. Glimmer tries to hide it from me up there but I’m taller than her so it’s a wasted effort really.’ 

 

‘I see,’ Catra chuckles, eyeing the top shelf and wondering how, exactly, she’s going to reach it. ‘Maybe she should hide it lower down.’ 

 

‘Well, it’s not like I’m afraid of getting on my knees either.’ 

 

Catra chokes on nothing, steadfastly starting a hole through the hot chocolate cupboard. ‘Right.’

 

‘Y’know, because I’m handy. I fix the sink and stuff sometimes. It gets clogged weirdly frequently.’ The earnest tone of Adora’s voice tells Catra that she has no idea what she just said, so instead of commenting on it she just clears her throat and turns around to force a smile at her guest. 

 

‘Oh! Yes, of course. Absolutely. Makes sense. Um, so, yeah. Drink. Chocolate. Hot. I’ll do that. Now.’ 

 

‘Cool!’ Adora beams, and fuck is it a gorgeous smile. ‘I’ll just go sit in the living room if that’s okay? I’ll add some logs to the fire too.’ 

 

‘There are logs?’ Catra asks just as Adora turns to leave, because she’d seen the fire but couldn’t find anything to put on it. The matches were easy to find, just left on the mantelpiece, but Catra had been wrapping up in jumpers and slippers to keep warm for the past few days. 

 

‘Yeah! Glimmer keeps them in the pantry out of the way, for some reason. I keep telling her she should just leave them out but does she listen? No. I bet she’s still using Scrabble as a lid for the basket too…’ 

 

Oh, that’s what that basket is… Catra thinks to herself as Adora once again turns to leave, walking through to the person-sized cupboard Catra now knows is called a pantry. She’d been curious about the Scrabble-topped basket but had assumed it was just filled with other boardgames and the like. She realises, all too late, that if she’d taken a peek she would have found the logs days ago and wouldn’t have had to suffer in a freezing—quaint, but freezing—cottage in what she can only describe as the middle of a field. 

 

Catra turns back to face the wall, leaving Adora to mess about with the log basket on her own. It’s not as if Catra would be of any use anyway, so instead of following to no doubt just stare at Adora while she’s bent over fussing over a basket of wood, Catra opts to make that hot chocolate Adora asked for. If she takes extra care with getting it just right than she normally would, that’s her business. She makes one for herself too, because she can, and carries them both through to the living room where Adora is already on her knees, carefully stacking a number of small, trimmed logs into the fireplace. 

 

‘This won’t burn the house down, will it?’ Catra asks in lieu of a greeting, setting both their mugs down on the coffee table before situating herself in the comfiest spot on the sofa she could find. There’s a stack of books on the side table beside the sofa that Catra has been steadily making her way through, a lot of them are pretty old, books she’s never heard of, and they’ve been keeping her entertained over the last couple of lonely, chilly days. Don’t get her wrong, this whole thing has been an amazing change of pace for her and a fantastic distraction from her emotional turmoil and hectic life, but Catra can’t help but admit to herself that the new, unexpected company is nice. 

 

Very nice. 

 

‘ Ha-ha , very funny,’ Adora calls over her shoulder, striking one of the matches a few times until it finally catches. ‘But no, it won’t, otherwise this place would have burnt down a long time ago. We always used to have the fire going in winter when we were younger.’ 

 

Catra leans forward, picking up her mug of hot chocolate and cradling it in her hands to warm them. She blows on it a little, contemplating Adora’s words, before taking a sip and sighing to herself as the warmth spreads through her body. ‘So this is what, a childhood home?’ 

 

Adora chuckles to herself, getting up from her position on the floor to reveal the fire beginning to sustain itself. Catra watches as she grabs her drink, blows on it, sips, then all but collapses beside Catra on the sofa with a much louder sigh of contentment.

 

‘Kind of?’ Adora starts, smiling to herself, before turning to face Catra. She sips again, and Catra can’t help but watch the bob of her throat as Adora swallows. ‘It was more of a holiday home really. We would come up here for the winter from Bright Moon, but eventually the parents moved out here and Glimmer followed, moving into this place. I was the last to buckle but I just… I guess I missed my family too much. We’re close, you know? So I got a place in town and, well, here I am!’ 

 

Catra doesn’t realise she’s finished her drink until she goes to sip it again and finds her mug empty. She really meant to make it last, but she was so focused on Adora’s story that she forgot and just downed the whole thing. Adora seems to notice, smiling to herself and downing hers before getting up from the sofa and taking both of their mugs away. 

 

Adora’s nice, Catra thinks, settling down into a more relaxed position on the sofa. It’s kind of a shame that she’ll be leaving soon, Catra really is enjoying her company. Plus, the warmth emanating from the fireplace is blissful , and changes everything. She doesn’t have to calculate her trips around the house based on how cold she’ll get anymore. She’s just glad she brought her hot water bottle with her, otherwise she may never have been able to fall asleep before now. 

 

When Adora returns, Catra’s eyes light up. The blonde has managed to pull a bottle of wine from somewhere but rather than accompany it with two wine glasses she’s instead holding another two mugs in her hand. Catra tilts a brow but Adora just shrugs, a cheeky little smile forming on her face. 

 

‘I may know where Glimmer hides the wine, but if she has any glasses she hides them way better. Maybe she just drinks it from the bottle,’ Adora laughs, returning to her place beside Catra on the sofa. ‘Mugs though, mugs she has hundreds of. Can I hinterest you in a mug of hwine, my dear?’ 

 

Catra would like to be able to say that the term of affection, obviously used as a joke paired with the fake posh accent, did nothing for her—no-one had ever called her my dear before, after all—but that would be a big, fat, stinking lie. Coming from Adora, it makes her face feel hot and her palms sweaty, unless that’s just the fire heating the room up. 

 

Across from her, Adora seems nervous, shuffling a little on the sofa like she’s unsure if she’s done something wrong. For some reason this kicks Catra back into action. She leans forward, places a hand on Adora’s knee, smiles as reassuringly as she can, and says:

 

‘A mug of hwine sounds just hwonderful, darling.’ 

—————

Adora wakes up to the sun trying to blind her. The warmth is nice, but her body feels heavy and she doesn’t exactly feel like getting up. It’s the weekend, after all. Or, close to the weekend. Friday? Thursday? One of those. It’s basically the weekend anyway, because she doesn’t have to go into work. She can just flop in her bed and relax the day away…

 

This isn’t her bed. 

 

Oh, fuck. Her head is actually really foggy too. How much did she drink last night? She doesn’t know. She thinks it was wine, but she doesn’t usually get this wine drunk, especially not with…

 

Glimmer? 

 

Adora sits up, squinting through the sun’s blinding light as she holds her hand out to shade herself from its relentless beams. Yeah, this is definitely Glimmer’s bedroom. Adora kind of recognises all her weird little nick-nacks that she’s collected over the years lining almost every available surface. Even that little pink teddy that looks like it has human teeth (Adora got it for Glimmer as a joke gift one year before surprising her with a pair of earrings she knew she really wanted) sits among a mountain of similarly brightly coloured plushies. 

 

Which means Adora must be in Glimmer’s bed. What the fuck? Why and how is she in her sister’s house and bed with a foggy head and…

 

Suitcase. There’s a suitcase on the floor, open, something that looks vaguely like underwear sticking out of it. Probably fancy, lacey underwear… Adora quickly checks herself. She’s still wearing her boxers and sports bra, but that does beg the question of where the rest of her clothes are at, because they definitely aren’t in this room, and those underwear in the suitcase definitely don’t belong to Glimmer. Adora would know, her sister finds the need to update Adora about all her underwear purchases, asking if she’d look good in them which, quite frankly, Adora doesn’t really want to imagine her sister in underwear thank you very much. Glimmer is a force of nature, however, and isn’t easily swayed. 

 

It takes a moment of Adora trying to focus on what the pattern is on the duvet for her to realise that it won’t focus. Which, to Adora’s sudden horror, means she’s probably lost her contacts. Again. 

 

‘Fuck’s sake…’ she mumbles, flinging the bed spread to one side to glance over the bedside table and drawers. After a prolonged moment of squinting and rifling through Glimmer’s collected junk, Adora strikes gold. Her contacts case is here (hooray!), but it’s open (booo!). 

 

Adora fishes around inside it anyway, hoping that she at least had the sense to take them off and put them away properly even in her wine-drunk state. Luckily her contacts are in there, but they’re dry . Very dry. She tries to see exactly how dry they are, to check if they’re salvageable or if she needs new ones, but after a moment of holding them up to her face and squinting at them as hard as she can, she gives up. Sometimes Adora forgets just how blind she is with stuff close to her after wearing her contacts for a while. Luckily, though, her glasses should be in their case in her coat pocket. If only she could remember where that is. 

 

Instead of wandering around the house half-naked, because she definitely remembers Catra (she does now , anyway), Adora decides to put some clothes on. There are lumps around the floor, she can see them, but a lot of it is sort of blending together. She has to kind of look around from a distance, then dive in and hope her aim is true, but eventually she finds all the clothes she thinks she was wearing the day before. 

 

She’s hoping that Catra is around, the suitcase on the floor kind of hints that she hasn’t left the country, but Adora still gets anxious about it anyway. 

 

With a sigh and a quick scan of the room just to make sure she’s picked everything up (that she can see) followed by a deep, grounding breath, Adora exits Glimmer’s bedroom and makes her way downstairs. 

 

She can’t hold in her smile when she hears the familiar sound of Catra’s voice, singing quietly to herself in the kitchen. 

—————

Catra isn't embarrassed . That’s not the right word. More like caught off guard? That isn’t one word either, but it feels more accurate. She woke up next to Adora, fully in her pajamas, so that’s good, but Adora… wasn’t. She may have also been closer to Adora than the word “next” can accurately describe. Tangled is kind of more accurate for the way she found herself when her eyes opened and she realised she couldn’t move, with a dead weight on her chest, legs, and arm. Well, not exactly a dead weight, but she wouldn’t move an inch, no matter how many times Catra (gently) patted her arm. 

 

After a long, drawn out mission of extracting herself from underneath Adora, Catra found that she really needed to pee, and promptly escaped from the bedroom. She put on the slippers and dressing gown that were in the bathroom (bright pink, but it’s not like Glimmer’s using them) and braved the cool morning briskness of a fresh downstairs to make something warm. It would do her some good. And maybe Adora too, if the sleeping giant ever woke up. 

 

One thing Catra is definitely not trying to focus on is the sight of Adora in just boxers and a sports bra. Muscles are… Adora had somehow muscles… The bed was all muscles and…

Deep breath. 

 

Adora had somehow managed to completely reject the duvet during the night, which was no surprise really because Catra discovered that the blonde ran hot even with minimal clothing on. Catra hadn’t even woken up during the night needing to go find her trusty hot water bottle. The bed, however, was all askew. Obviously displaced by Adora’s nightly wiggling which had somehow not awoken Catra but ended up with her half buried beneath muscles with a blonde woman attached to them. Heavy . Adora was heavy, but kind of in a nice way? Thinking back, being laid on like that did feel pretty nice. Grounding. It was a reassuring pressure, one Catra wasn’t entirely used to feeling. She’d never woken up with someone half-draped over her, after all. Her previous partner hadn’t exactly been overly… affectionate like that. It was nice. 

 

But the thought of affection and partners brings a flash of blue eyes and images of last night rolling through Catra’s mind, and she has to take a moment to recover from the sudden mental and emotional onslaught. 

 

Which is exactly when loud footsteps choose to start descending the creaky, carpeted wooden staircase. 

 

‘Morning!’ Adora greets, all sunshine and rainbows, a stark contrast to the grey, early morning sky that’s barely letting any light through at all from outside. 

 

‘Morning,’ Catra grumbles in response, not quite trusting herself to say anything more, but then Adora asks: 

 

‘Did we, uhm… y’know…’ 

 

Catra has to take a moment to catch up. It doesn’t take very long, her brain had been on track to getting to thinking about that anyway. But the truth of last night is easier to talk about than Catra’s fantasies. She decides to be straight with Adora. 

 

In a gay way. 

 

‘Are you asking me if we had se—’ 

 

‘Yes! I am,’ Adora’s quick interruption and subsequent blush tells Catra that she didn’t expect her to be so forthright. Good. Catra likes to have the upper hand. ‘ That . Did we do… anything…’ 

 

Catra holds her gaze for a moment, challenging the blonde for some reason, before relenting. ‘Well, we didn’t get that far,’ and then to test the waters adds, ‘you better remember the kiss, though.’ 

 

Adora’s face turns to stone. ‘Oh no. I didn’t– you– I mean I shouldn’t’ve– I’m so sorry—!’

 

‘No!’ Catra laughs, a little too awkwardly for her liking, and rubs at the back of her neck. ‘I’m, um, kidding. Yeah. It was… I was joking. We didn’t kiss.’ 

 

‘Oh, thank the gods,’ Adora breathes a heavy sigh of relief, and Catra’s shoulders sink imperceptibly. ‘Not that I wouldn’t want to– I mean you’re really hot so– like I’m not saying I wouldn't want to… Okay , shut up, Adora!’ 

 

Catra takes a deep breath, trying not to think too hard about Adora’s panicked spluttering. They’ve only just met. Catra was just getting carried away. 

 

‘So do you want a drink, or…’ 

 

Adora blinks a couple times, turns to look at a point somewhere behind her, probably the clock on the wall, and Catra’s heart sinks further. 

 

‘I should probably get going, actually.’ 

 

‘Oh. Yeah, no, that’s alright. I should too, you know, supply run and stuff,’ Catra lies.

 

‘Yeah, of course. Just, uh, listen…’ Adora sighs, reaching for her coat and pulling it on before lazily slinging the scarf around her neck. ‘I know you’re leaving soon and absolutely not interested in, like, getting to know me, or anything, but just in case you were, some things in my life are pretty complicated, and even if you are staying it would probably be better if you… stayed away, I guess?’ 

 

Complicated? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Does Adora think she’s too much? Is she trying to… 

 

‘Is this you protecting me from you?’ Catra asks, struggling to properly grasp at what Adora means. 

 

‘Well, I—’ 

 

But Adora’s expression tells Catra everything she needs to know, and she smiles as kindly as she can before continuing, ignoring the way her heart is trying to beat its way out of her chest.

 

‘Adora, look, I’m a mess at this too. We hardly know each other anyway so it’s not like we… I just… whatever. It was nice to meet you. Thank you for your company last night, I really needed it. And, thank you for finding the logs too.’ 

 

‘Yeah. Okay. I just wanted to assure you, I guess, that you’d be better off. I’m… you see…’ 

 

‘Okay,’ Catra nods. She doesn’t really get it, but it’s obviously difficult for Adora to say what she’s trying to, which probably means neither of them are ready to hear it out loud. 

 

Adora laughs, ‘Yeah, I’ll stop. I just wanted to make sure you’ll be okay and won’t, um…’ 

 

‘I’m not going to fall in love with you, I promise,’ and Catra just barely ignores the way her stomach flips at the words. ‘I’ll be fine on my own from here on out.’ 

 

‘Okay. Good. Nicely put, I guess.’ 

 

Catra sighs, running a hand through her hair before folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the worktop. ‘No, it’s just that I know who I am. I’m not even sure if I can fall in love like other people do, it’s never…’ there’s never been anyone who stuck around long enough for them to let me. Despite herself, she chuckles, running a hand over her face, ‘What am I even saying? Why am I telling you this?’ 

 

‘Well, honesty is pretty refreshing,’ Adora laughs, fiddling with a glasses case she pulled from her coat pocket. Does Adora wear glasses? Catra suddenly wants to see that more than anything. ‘Anyway, I’m going to go. You probably won’t hear from me because you clearly don’t want to and I don’t want to impose on your holiday, so… And I almost never call back after a date anyway…’ 

 

Catra’s eyebrows rise through the fucking roof, ‘Oh, was this a date ?’ 

 

And Adora’s eyes bulge impossibly wide, ‘OH! Uhm, no . No, it wasn’t. I suppose I’m off the hook then?’ 

 

‘Sure thing, dork.’ 

 

Adora moves as if to leave but seems to hesitate. It looks like a million thoughts rush through her head at once, because her brows furrow adorably and she worries her bottom lip between her teeth. She must catch onto a thought she likes, however, because she looks back at Catra with a new, wistful kind of determination. Catra watches as Adora turns on the spot, secures her scarf around her neck and fiddles with its fringe, before stepping back into the kitchen, ‘What if I wanted to call you?’ 

 

‘Oh, um, well…’ Catra shifts uncomfortably, not quite sure how to answer that. Does she want Adora to call again? It would be nice to have some more company, and not mention there’s just something about this blonde goof that’s pulling her in and… oh, not saying anything for this long was a bad move. Catra watches as Adora nods solemnly, her face on the brink of mournful.

 

‘Right, sorry. I shouldn’t’ve said that,’ Adora finally walks away towards the door, and Catra can’t stop herself from following behind. ‘But, I guess, if for whatever reason you change your mind, I’m going to the Christmas Market that’s being held in the town square with some friends in a few days and, if not, well, it was really nice to meet you, Catra.’ 

 

Catra swallows, and says, ‘It was nice to meet you too, Adora.’ 

 

Adora offers one last final smile before she turns and leaves, the front door closing behind her with a small squeak and a final click. 

 

Catra paces. She paces in the living room, walking around the table and back again. She sits on the stairs, playing with the spot where the carpet is fraying. She goes outside, all bundled up in her winter coat and boots, staring at the big old oak tree in Glimmer’s garden. She sits by the fire, burning the logs that Adora found and left out for her alongside the matches. 

 

The whole time, Catra thinks about the way Adora’s lips felt against hers. How she can’t stop thinking about Adora at all. How cute she looked on the doorstep when Catra first opened the door, how adorable she was when wine drunk, how they’d kissed for a whole ten minutes before Catra realised she was making a huge mistake, how they slept in the same bed because Adora immediately pulled Catra in and bear hugged her from behind while she desperately tried not to focus on the fact Adora was in her underwear, having stripped off shamelessly in her haze moments before. How it was the best sleep Catra had ever had. 

 

How, after finally deciding that she’ll go to the market, it will be only a few days until she sees her again. 

 

Catra didn’t come out here to the middle of nowhere in a different country looking for love, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t find her anyway. 

—————

It’s busy. 

 

So busy, in fact, that Adora’s having trouble finding her friends among the masses of people. Netossa and Spinnerella usually have their own stall, but this year they decided not to in favour of actually experiencing the market in its entirety for once. The Christmas tree the local council set up in Thaymor is never as big as the one provided for the Bright Moon Christmas Market, but it’s still impressive, tall enough to rival the small town’s local church for tallest structure, if only for a week or two. Adora’s standing by the rope that’s surrounding it, the tree serving as a beacon of a meeting place if there ever was one, switching her gaze between scanning the crowds and admiring the decorations that are always so painstakingly fretted over by the single person who decorates it. 

 

Perfuma always insists that she knows best how to make any kind of plant, which extends to trees, look their best. Which, much to Angella’s exasperation, is how she always ends up being the sole person in charge of decorating the tree and also planting the flowerbeds come spring. Adora used to help out in the winter, if only to carry the decorations to where Perfuma needed them, but ever since she got her new job in Bright Moon she’s had less time to help. Hopefully Perfuma’s found someone else to help with the heavy lifting these days, Adora always used to worry that the flowery blonde’s arms would snap if she carried any more than—

 

‘Yo! Adora!’ 

 

Netossa’s voice easily carries over the general hubbub of the crowds of revelers, giving Adora just a moment’s notice before a hand comes clapping down on her back and scaring the absolute shit out of her. 

 

After the initial Oomph! Adora swiftly recovers, laughing when Netossa comes into view with a toffee apple in the hand she didn’t whack Adora with. ‘Hi Nets,’ she greets, wincing a little when she straightens her back again. If she hadn’t been wearing her coat, that would definitely have left a bruise. ‘Where’s Spin?’ 

 

Netossa’s eyes light up at the mention of her wife, glancing around them as if Spinnerella may appear at just that moment in some show of perfect timing. When she doesn’t, Netossa takes a bite of her sugar apple, leaving Adora standing there awkwardly for a moment while she chews, swallows, then says, ‘She’s fussing over those caramels you always rave about.’ 

 

Ah. Yes, that makes sense. As Netossa and Spinnerella have been confined to their stall the last few years Adora usually made it her personal mission to torture them with the food on offer, teasing them with everything they’re missing. The caramels were the one constant food item Adora always gets. 

 

Always. 

 

Adora smiles as a happy memory flashes in front of her eyes. She sees a smile, laughing, warmth, and then it's gone, and Adora sighs at the melancholy that permeates the moment. Netossa, blissfully unaware of Adora’s trip down memory lane, instead punches Adora in the shoulder and asks, ‘You wanna go find her? I saw you over here and kind of just left her there to choose on her own.’ 

 

“Sure,” is right on the tip of Adora’s tongue. She almost says it. That was the plan after all, to meet up with Netossa and Spinnerella and show them what they’ve been missing out on all cooped up in their stall all those years. But—

 

A woman, looking lost and confused, hugging herself tight while decked out in a huge thermal jacket, mittens, scarf, boots—the whole works—grabs Adora’s attention. She isn’t really going anywhere, just standing to one side looking overwhelmed and small as the crowds mill around her. But Adora recognises the wild brown hair, the shape of her nose, the arch of her eyebrows. It wouldn’t be a step too far to say Adora has completely memorised the face she’s staring at through the crowd. A fond smile tugs at the corner of Adora’s mouth, and by the time she meets Netossa’s gaze it’s almost formed a full-blown grin. 

 

‘Sorry, Nets, something’s come up.’ 

 

Netossa’s eyes narrow in suspicion and she turns to follow Adora’s line of sight. When she turns back, having seen the new focus of Adora’s attention, she’s smirking and an eyebrow quirks knowingly above her eyes, which Adora can feel analysing her. ‘Adora, I know you’ve slept with every available lesbian in Thaymor but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere.’ 

 

Adora scoffs, flushes bright red, and sputters over a few half-words before finally landing on something coherent. ‘I have not– slept– with every … She’s not even from here. She’s from F.Z. and she looks lost so I’m just gonna go and—’ 

 

‘Lure her to your bed?’ Netossa is really milking this now. 

 

‘No, Nets, it's…’ Adora sighs, her gaze landing back on Catra where she’s looking around. Adora wonders if she's looking for her. ‘She’s different . I think that– I’m hoping there’s something there. The fact she’s shown up today is a good sign.’ 

 

‘Are you sure you’re ready to commit again?’ Netossa asks, her voice suddenly much gentler than it had been a moment before. Adora takes her in, realising what Netossa is talking about, and smiles in that melancholic way again. 

 

‘Yeah. She makes me want to.’ 

 

Netossa smiles and nods, punching Adora in her other shoulder, softer this time. ‘Then go get her, hotshot. I’ll tell Spinny you’re otherwise entertained and won’t be joining us.’ 

 

‘Thanks Nets, I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’ 

 

‘Just go, you big gay,’ Netossa says, pushing Adora away toward where Catra is standing. Adora had been practically bouncing on her feet anyway, so giving her that push was a favour if anything. Netossa files that away for later, wondering about all the different ways she can get Adora to pay her back. 

 

Adora, however, seems to just channel everything else out as she makes her way toward Catra. She’s known this woman for maybe a day—at a push—but there’s something there, she’s not imagining things, right? Asking Catra to come to the market was a kind of test, of sorts. If Catra didn’t come, then obviously whatever happened between them was just some random, one-off event that will never happen again. But if Catra came? 

 

Does that mean she likes Adora? At least enough to be friends? Thinking about it makes Adora’s head spin, but she doesn’t really have time to really sink her mental teeth into it before Catra spots her, smiles, and offers a small wave. 

 

Adora’s first thought is: fuck, she’s adorable. 

 

Followed quickly by: and so, so beautiful. 

 

And then Catra says just two words as a way of greeting, and Adora isn’t surprised when they send a shiver up her spine. 

 

Or is that just the biting chill of this windy, winter night? 

—————

Catra’s evening at Thaymor’s Christmas Market starts out with her being cold, lost, and bored. That is, until Adora finds her. After that, the whole thing steadily looks brighter, more colourful, no longer bland or uninteresting. With Adora’s hand in hers, Catra starts to notice the smiles on people’s faces, the children running around and laughing while waving their light up sticks in the air, the feeling of community, cheer, and warmth. Catra, who hasn’t been on an actual date or around this many people at once in years, actually enjoys herself . Adora seems to know everyone, enough to greet them by name, and makes it her mission to show Catra all her favourite spots, her favourite stalls, her favourite foods. 

 

Catra has an amazing time. 

 

The evening passes quickly, and when they get back to Catra’s car at the end of the night Adora stops Catra from opening the driver’s side door and says: 

 

‘Go to dinner with me. Tomorrow.’ 

 

Catra’s heart sings and, in the heat of the moment, all she can do is agree. She can’t say no to Adora’s baby blues, which hold Catra’s attention hostage whenever they perceive her. 

 

Which, in a short and roundabout way of explanation, is how Catra finds herself seated across from Adora in Thaymor’s fanciest establishment, looking over a menu full of foods she vaguely recognises but with slightly different names to what she’s used to. 

 

Then Adora clears her throat, and Catra peers at her over the top of her menu. 

 

Adora looks nervous, her menu folded and forgotten under her fidgeting hands. Catra’s immediately worried, her alarm bells ringing for danger. It feels like a break-up, but they aren’t even together. Whatever Adora is trying to do, she’s got the vibe all wrong. The near-silence that’s followed them so far, ever since Adora picked Catra up at the cottage about half an hour ago, certainly doesn’t help. 

 

After another moment or two of Adora just worrying her fingers into knots and almost chewing through her bottom lip, she finally speaks. 

 

‘Catra, listen… from the moment I met you, it’s been—’ 

 

And then her phone rings, piercing whatever the moment was becoming like a hot knife through butter. Adora frowns at her phone when she looks at it, glances up at Catra, then back down again. 

 

‘Shit, sorry, I should probably get this,’ she says, rising from her chair and edging out of their booth. Catra just smiles and waves her off, permission granted , and only half listens to Adora as she walks away. ‘Hey. Hi. Why, what happened? I can’t today, I’m…’ 

 

They’re at a window seat, and Catra turns to look out of it now that her date has vanished on her. Catra gets about five seconds to glance around the snowy street before Adora appears within the scene, kicking lightly at the snow as she talks to whoever called her with a massive smile on her face. Adora looks nice, Catra thinks, even if she is dressed kind of like a professor. She’s also wearing her glasses, which just adds to the professor vibe, and Catra hates that she loves it. 

 

Catra went simple. Smart trousers, a maroon button-down, a bow-tie that now hangs loose around her neck after she discovered that the restaurant has a real fire inside it. She thinks she looks hot. She hopes she does. Why does she hope that? Adora obviously brought her here to tell her that they should stop seeing each other. Why else? What else could cause this gloomy vibe? 

 

She sighs, running a hand through her hair, and briefly wishes she weren’t leaving in just over a week—wishes that she could live this dream a little longer—before dismissing that from her mind completely. Now’s not the time. Adora’s about to say so herself.

 

Speaking of, the blonde appears across from Catra again, shoes a little wet with melted snow from outside, and sits down with a sigh. Before she can get a word in, or continue whatever it was she was going to say, Catra decides to deal the final blow herself. 

 

‘Adora, why are we here?’ 

 

But then the unexpected happens. Unexpected to Catra, anyway. Adora smiles, blinding the brunette with the revelation that maybe she can’t read people as well as she thought she could. 

 

‘I thought we should get to know each other.’ 

 

It takes Catra a moment to blurt out a quiet, almost whispered, ‘Why?’ 

 

‘Because… I’m running out of reasons why we shouldn’t. Aren’t you?’ 

 

Adora speaks with such conviction, such confidence that wasn’t there a moment beforehand, that it takes Catra entirely off-guard. Recovering from her negative thoughts, her spiralling vortex of Adora doesn’t want me slowing to a steady stream, takes perhaps a moment longer than it should, but Catra’s good at thinking on her feet. Usually. 

 

‘Okay,’ she says, finding her voice. She needs a minute to think, so decides to ask about the woman opposite her to give her that time. ‘So, go ahead. Who are you, Adora?’ 

 

Adora’s smile doesn’t waver as she considers where to start, and for a brief moment it’s all Catra can focus on, until the blonde speaks, that is. 

 

‘Well I work in Bright Moon,’ Adora begins, checking off a finger on one hand as if there’s a bullet-point list she has to get through, ‘Mainly as a Physical Therapist, but sometimes the lines blur between PT and GP, you know?’

 

‘Mhm, sure,’ Catra nods as if she does know, ‘What about when you were younger, what did you get up to?’ 

 

‘Uh, I rode horses in my free time, studied history in school, was on the track team. I still eat healthy too, so that carried on. I go to the gym as often as I can… why is this starting to feel like a job interview?’ 

 

Adora’s laughing, but Catra still cringes. ‘Sorry, I’ve not exactly been on a proper date in… a while. Honestly, the last time I was in a restaurant one on one with someone was for their job interview.’ 

 

‘Oh. Wow. Formal, then?’ Adora asks, trying for perhaps the third time that night to get the attention of a waiter. 

 

‘Yeah. Super. It tends to make people more relaxed, open up more, helps me get to know them.’ 

 

‘Helps you? ’ 

 

‘Mhm.’ 

 

‘And where did you say you work?’ 

 

‘I didn’t’ Catra smirks, this is something she can talk confidently about. ‘I own a law firm. This last girl I hired—you should have seen her— huge , looked more like a bodyguard than a lawyer. Talked my ear off. I hired her on the spot.’ 

 

‘Wait, wait, wait— you own a law firm?’ There it is. 

 

‘Yeah. Inherited it from my mother after she died. I hadn’t seen her in years so when it came down to it I guess she realised I was the only person she trusted with it. I got a letter from her in her will, just said “You’re welcome”… what a bitch.’ 

 

‘Oh, uh,’ Adora looks confused, like she doesn’t really know what to say. That’s what Catra was going for, mentioning her dead mother and then insulting her tends to make people second-guess exactly how they should proceed. ‘Should I be sorry?’ 

 

Catra smiles, shaking her head. ‘Not at all. She was a bitch. Divorced her husband years beforehand. Never adopted any other kids so I’ve no siblings, birth or otherwise. I was never really close to Hector either, he was never really in the picture. She just used him for money until her law firm began actually being successful. I thought she was kidding when she sat me down and told me her grand plan for my future. It was hard, but I got through it. She made me this way. And then she goes and says “you’re welcome” like she was the good guy all along.’ 

 

She doesn’t normally share this much though, Adora looks a little horrified. Catra chuckles, nervously scratching behind her ear like it’ll distract from the baggage she just accidentally unloaded on her date for the evening. Maybe Bow was right—maybe she should see a therapist.

 

‘Wow it’s uh, it’s been a while since I dredged a lot of that up,’ she continues, trying to hopefully end it there, ‘Sorry for dumping this on you all of a sudden, but that’s my tragic backstory in it’s brief, summed-up entirety. We should actually order now, or something,’ Catra tries, hoping to smooth over this part of her life for good. 

 

‘Wait– she planned your life out?’ 

No such luck. Catra takes a breath and thinks about the best way to proceed. It’s a good job Adora’s so earnest, otherwise Catra would think, by this point, that Adora was sent by some rival firm to make her sound crazy and scare away potential clients or something. 

 

‘Yeah, You can imagine how pissed I was at first but… I couldn’t exactly argue at the time. Eventually, I guess I just accepted it. I’m good at it, after all, so after I’m done rebranding everything I can do things my way and make it my own.’ 

 

Catra tenses a little. Not a word of that was a lie, and Adora’s eyebrows are furrowing in thought. She’s never normally this open about her life with anyone, let alone someone she’s kind of only just met. Wait, is this their second date? 

 

‘Do you ever just want to burn it all down?’ 

 

The question takes Catra by surprise, and she laughs, the tension disappearing as quickly as it arrived. ‘Oh, all the time. Yeah. That’s why I’m rebranding. So it isn’t hers anymore. I’m taking everything she built, erasing it, and putting my name on it instead.’ 

 

‘That sounds really great, Catra,’ Adora smiles, letting one hand reach gently across the table to rub small circles on Catra’s forearm where it’s resting on top of her menu. Oh, that’s right, she never actually chose what she wanted to eat. 

 

‘Thanks, Adora,’ she says, picking up her menu again and only regretting it when Adora’s hand slides back over to her side of the table, away from Catra. ‘Anyway, enough about me, you’ve hardly said anything. What about your family?’ 

 

‘Oh, well, there’s not really much to say…’ 

 

The conversation flows naturally after that. Adora talks and talks and talks about her family, filling Catra in on all the details about her sister’s past exploits and shenanigans. All things considered, just upping and swapping houses with her seems tame compared to some of these other things. Stalking a boy in college, only to find out he had a secret girlfriend, finding her hotter, then stalking her instead? Honestly, Catra doesn’t know how bi people do it. She hears enough of this kind of thing from Bow. Are they all just all some kind of crazy? 

 

At some point their food arrives and the conversation dies down while they eat. Afterwards too, they find themselves just enjoying each other’s company. It’s nice. Even the walk back to Adora’s car is sweet, and they don’t let go of each other’s hands once. 

 

It’s only when Adora stops outside Glimmer’s house that Catra returns to Etheria, pulling her hand back from where it was resting lazily on Adora’s thigh, and stares out the window toward the cottage. If she’s lucky, Adora will just think she’s admiring the stonework of the building and not at all avoiding eye contact. 

 

‘Thank you for dinner, Adora,’ she says, playing with the hem of her coat, ‘I– I had a really nice time.’ 

 

‘Yeah, yeah me too, Catra. It was nice.’ Adora’s voice is small, unsure, but Catra still can’t bring herself to look the blonde in the face. For some reason she thinks that, if she does, the bubble will burst and whatever this is will come crashing down around them. 

 

‘I guess I’ll see you around,’ Catra says as she undoes her seatbelt, but the sound of Adora’s seatbelt also unbuckling makes her head snap round and– shit, now she’s looking at Adora and can see the uncertainty, the nervousness, plain as day. ‘Oh, you don’t have to walk me anywhere, it’s freezing out so you can just…’ 

 

Adora smiles, leaning back in her chair and clicking the seatbelt back into place with an almost ominous finality. ‘Catra, if you don’t want me to come in, just say so. It’s okay.’ 

 

‘No that’s not– that isn’t–! I just… No.’ Catra breathes deep. She isn’t going to mess this up. Not looking at Adora was a mistake, but she can’t do this right now. ‘I’ve just had a long day. Tired. It’s not that I don’t want you there.’ 

 

‘Okay, yeah, sure. Cool. I fully believe you, by the way. Mark me down as one-hundred-percent convinced.’ 

 

‘Adora, look…’ Catra sighs, deciding to just lay the facts out bare in all their ugly glory, ‘I’m leaving in eight days and that… that makes this hard. Confusing. I don’t know if I can handle that right now.’ 

 

Adora’s eyes sparkle with tears, and Catra doesn’t miss the warble to her voice as she whispers out a small, choked, ‘Okay.’ 

 

Catra leans over and kisses her. 

 

It’s nothing like the first time. The first time was warm, clumsy, interspersed with wine-drunk giggles and hands that didn’t know where they could rest. This time, both of their faces are still cold from the walk through town, but their movements are slower, more intentional, and Catra melts when Adora’s hand comes up to cup her cheek. 

 

When they pull back, not far, their foreheads still resting together, Adora’s thumb strokes over Catra’s jaw as she asks: ‘And how does that make this less confusing?’ 

 

‘Tell me you remember,’ Catra says, closing her eyes. She has to know. 

 

‘I remember,’ Adora whispers, and Catra feels her entire body relax. She was hoping; it had been a few days, but hearing Adora say it lifts a weight off her chest she wasn’t really aware of until it’s gone. ‘Last time, I kissed you first, and it was incredible. But I know I shouldn’t have, I was pretty drunk on Glimmer’s wine and—’ 

 

Catra kisses her again. It’s brief, sweet, and does the job of shutting down Adora’s rambling before she gets too carried away.

 

‘You talk too much.’ 

 

‘I have to go into Bright Moon in the morning,’ Adora blurts, out of nowhere, and Catra has to take a moment to catch what Adora’s throwing. ‘So I can confidently promise that I won’t be banging on your door again for at least a day or two.’ 

 

‘Just a day or two?’ Catra asks, struggling to keep the disappointment out of her voice. 

 

‘At least. Yeah.’ Adora’s expression is apologetic, but Catra also feels like she’s being studied. Almost as if she makes the wrong move, or says the wrong thing, whatever this is could come crashing down around them. 

 

So she decides to be honest, and go with her gut. 

 

‘We’ll see each other again, though?’ She asks, her voice small. There’s a moment of quiet before Adora says anything. 

 

‘You really did enjoy dinner, huh?’ The cocky tilt of Adora’s eyebrow makes Catra immediately regret choosing honesty. 

 

‘Oh, shut up.’ She huffs, rolling her eyes and pulling away from Adora to stare out of the windscreen and burn a whole in the dry stone wall that surrounds the cottage. 

 

‘You like me ,’ Adora drawls, leaning further into Catra’s space, ‘how embarrassing for you.’ 

 

‘That’s it, I’m getting out,’ Catra snaps, desperately trying to hide her flushed face and stupid grin by opening the car door and slipping out into the snow. When Adora just rolls down the window after Catra slams the door and starts storming up the path toward her front door, Catra calls back, ‘Fuck off, loser!’ 

 

But Adora just laughs and, undeterred, calls back, ‘See you soon, Catra!’ 

—————

‘Okay, Catra, you got this. Just, go up to her house and tell her that you didn’t mean it. Tell her that the last few days of knowing her, that everything you’ve done together, has been the most amazing time of your life and you can’t ever remember being this happy. Tell her that you’ve thought about it, and maybe it doesn’t have to be complicated, whatever this is. Just…’ 

 

Catra sighs and looks up from where her forehead was resting on the steering wheel of Glimmer’s bright pink Mini Cooper, right at Adora’s front door. 

 

‘Just tell her that you like her.’ 

 

Saying it out loud gives Catra the courage to get out of the car and actually start walking towards Adora’s house. This wouldn’t be weird, right? Catra just showing up here? After all, Adora had gotten her phone out at the Christmas Market and pulled up Google Maps to show Catra the exact moment the Google Maps car caught the moment Adora’s shopping bags broke, leaving food all over her driveway. 

 

Yeah, this’ll be fine. Completely fine. It’s not that Catra’s lonely, or completely regrets some of the things she said to Adora and hasn’t been able to sit still ever since Adora drove away worrying that, after Adora goes to work tomorrow morning, Catra will never see her again. 

 

Because that’s the thing, Catra really wants to see her again. 

 

She knocks, pressing the doorbell soon after when she notices it, and listens as it rings out through the house before her. It’s nice. Bigger than Glimmer’s cottage, newer, but definitely doesn’t have that country cosiness that drew Catra in in the first place. It looks like one of those houses that really wants to fit into a small village, but it’s trying a little too hard and looks just sort of off when you compare it with its surroundings. 

 

But Catra’s momentary architectural distraction is short lived as the lock clicks and the door opens just enough for Adora to lean around it, not quite opening it all the way, the shirt she wore to dinner unbuttoned enough to give Catra a very fulfilling glance that’ll no-doubt stay in her brain for longer than it should. Adora looks flushed, her hair a mess, she’s breathing heavily and is now wearing sleep shorts in place of the smarter pants she wore to dinner. 

 

‘Surprise,’ Catra says, because her brain is firing in lots of different directions and jumping to lots of different conclusions and she’d like it to stop, thanks. 

 

‘Yeah, it is,’ Adora smiles awkwardly as she seems to notice how many buttons she has undone, doing a couple of them up while leaning against the door in such a way that keeps Catra from seeing inside. 

 

Catra tries not to focus on the mental image of Adora’s cleavage and takes a deep breath, shuts her brain off, and just lets her heart do the talking for once. 

 

‘Listen, I– I’m sorry for just showing up out of nowhere like this, but I was home alone and thinking about you and I just wanted to come and tell you that whatever this is between us doesn’t have to be complicated at all because I really, really li—‘ 

 

But a clatter from within the house gives Catra pause. Her eyes widen like she’s been caught doing something wrong, her breath catches in her throat, and she feels her whole body start to feel hot with embarrassment. 

 

‘You’re not alone, are you?’ She asks, whispering the words as if that would make them never reach their recipient. 

 

Adora’s face then does something Catra doesn’t expect, it morphs into a look of sorrow and pity as the blonde shakes her head “no”. 

 

Catra nods. This is exactly what Adora has been warning her about isn’t it? How many women has Adora treated the same as her? Maybe the Market is a yearly thing, annual bait to lure in some unsuspecting lesbian with the intention of, what, leading them on? 

 

‘It’s okay,’ the words feel foreign in Catra’s mouth, and at the look of confusion on Adora’s face, she continues, ‘it’s okay. I’ll just go. I was never here. You enjoy your evening with—‘ 

 

But before Catra can finish, before she can push Adora away for good and go home to cry herself to sleep, Catra sees a pair of little hands trying to push between Adora’s legs and the door. Adora moves to the side, allowing them through, and cautiously looks up to meet Catra’s stunned gaze with eyes that seem to be searching for a particular reaction. Maybe Adora expects that to be it, for Catra to turn and walk away. But Catra could never, not when the cutest kid she’s ever seen, barely up to her waist with mid-length blonde hair and eyes that match Adora’s, is looking up at her with such wonder. It roots her to the spot, and when Catra doesn’t immediately flee, Adora’s expression softens. 

 

‘Say “hi”, Finn,’ Adora whispers, engulfing the kid’s hand in her own when they reach up for her to take it. 

 

‘Hi,’ they say, ‘I’m Finn. I’m not a boy or a girl!’ And then a mischievous glint shines bright in their eyes as they ask, ‘Are you mummy’s girlfriend?’ 

 

The question takes Catra so by surprise that she completely misses Adora say, ‘Finn! Stop asking every woman you see if they’re my girlfriend!’ 

 

Instead she just mentally trips over the word “girlfriend” a few times. Her initial reaction would be “yes, if she’ll have me”, but all that comes out of Catra’s mouth is, ‘Oh, uh, I– We haven’t, I mean, uhm—‘ 

 

‘It’s okay, Catra,’ Adora says, looking back up at her unexpected guest with nothing but fondness in her eyes, ‘Finn’s just being a menace, as usual!’ 

 

Finn just sticks out their tongue at their mother, and Adora scoffs at the betrayal. 

 

‘Go finish your hot chocolate,’ Adora says, ‘before it gets cold.’ 

 

‘Only if you invite your girlfriend in,’ Finn replies, grinning with their assured victory. 

 

‘Fine!’ Adora gives in, immediately, and Catra doesn’t miss the way she didn’t correct them, ‘Now shoo!’ 

 

Finn then turns to Catra, tries to wink, and then runs back into the house leaving Adora and Catra standing either side of a doorway. 

 

‘Do you want to come in?’ Adora asks after a moment, ‘I’m sorry about the state I’m in, we were playing hide and seek which inevitably turned into tag and they just run circles around me, it’s ridiculous.’ 

 

Catra could say no, it would be easy. Say no and stay out of Adora’s life forever. 

 

Or…

 

‘Yeah, Adora,’ Catra smiles, ‘Of course I want to come in.’ 

 

And Adora smiles back. ‘Great! Shoes off, I’ll hang up your coat.’ 

 

Adora steps back, opening the door fully to allow Catra into her home. Catra shucks off her jacket as she looks around, letting Adora wander off with it. The place is big, but homely. There’s bookcases everywhere. Some are stacked with books, children’s and adult’s alike, whereas others are just filled with random knick-knacks. Obviously Adora and Glimmer have hoarding in common. 

 

But there’s a question burning in the back of Catra’s mind, and she has to ask it before this goes any further. She steps out of her boots, then wanders over to where Adora’s hanging up her coat. She taps Adora on the shoulder, causing the blonde to whirl around in surprise at Catra’s sudden proximity. Her face falls at the serious expression on Catra’s face, however, and Catra watches as Adora swallows in preparation. 

 

‘Are you married?’ Catra whispers, glancing over her shoulder in the direction Finn ran off in. 

 

Adora shakes her head. 

 

‘D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D?’ Catra asks, spelling out the word letter by letter in case Finn should overhear. 

 

Adora shakes her head. 

 

Catra frowns, and Adora smiles solemnly before saying, slowly and sadly:

 

‘W-I-D-O-W.’ 

 

Catra freezes immediately as she takes in the mournful expression on Adora’s face. She’s smiling, likely remembering , but she doesn’t look like someone haunted by loss. Catra feels her eyes well up at the sight of Adora, so beautiful, so perfect, and curses the world for taking any kind of happiness away from her. 

 

Their hands find each other between them, fingers interlacing, and Catra squeezes as if to tell Adora “It’s okay, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” 

 

Adora sighs, leaning forward to rest her head on Catra’s shoulder. She takes a deep breath before speaking, quietly, only to Catra. 

 

‘I know. Why didn’t I say anything? Right? But how do I tell women I like that I have a kid? Or that their mother died before they could remember what she sounded like. It’s hard to bring up. I’m sorry, I should’ve said something, but it’s too complicated to talk about with just anybody. They have to be special.’ 

 

Catra swallows, and whispers, ‘Does that mean you think I’m special?’ 

 

Adora chuckles on Catra’s shoulder, leaning back to look Catra in the face and says, ‘You’re perfect, Catra.’ 

 

Catra flushes under Adora’s gaze, but Adora just reaches up to full her face back by the chin. 

 

‘And,’ Adora continues, her own face flushing for reasons unknown to Catra, ‘For the record,’ she leans in, and Catra draws in to meet her, ‘I was thinking about you too.’ 

 

When their lips meet, it’s nothing like the kiss in the car, which was nothing like their first kiss. This one is heavy, like Adora is sharing all of herself with Catra. Letting her in, letting herself be seen, allowing Catra to know her. 

 

Catra kisses back in kind. 

 

She wants to know Adora, she wants to learn about this woman, Finn, maybe even be more to them than just some holidayer who Adora met and kissed three times. 

 

Adora’s hands move to hold Catra’s face, cupping her cheeks, so gentle. Catra’s hands move from Adora’s hips to her waist, up her back to grip at her shoulder blades, and then—

 

‘Eewwwww!’ 

 

They break apart, gasping for air, and stare down at the child who interrupted them fake gagging into an almost empty mug of hot chocolate. 

 

Catra could die from embarrassment. 

 

Instead, she takes the initiative and bends down, smiling in her best “you just caught me making out with your mum please don’t be mad” smile, and asks, ‘Hey, kid, you wanna watch a movie?’ 

 

There’s a small voice next to her that starts to say, ‘Actually it’s almost their bedti—‘ 

 

‘Yeah!!’ Finn shouts, beaming from ear to ear. 

 

Catra looks up at Adora, quirking an eyebrow in challenge, and Adora rolls her eyes in defeat. 

 

‘Fine. But only one.’ 

 

Finn actually fist pumps the air, grinning like a lunatic, and runs away through the house shouting something about donkeys and dragons. 

 

Which is when it properly hits Catra, perhaps for the first time, that: ‘Wait, you’re a mum?’ 

 

Adora nods slowly, a small, nervous smile on her face. ‘Yeah, I am. Is– is that okay? I’m sorry I didn’t say—’ 

 

‘No!’ Catra interrupts, ‘No, of course it’s okay. I was just wondering why you hadn’t… You know what? Let’s shelf this conversation for later. I believe we have a movie to watch.’ 

 

‘I can’t believe you suggested that! We’re supposed to be sticking to bedtime, Catra!’ Adora laughs, and Catra can’t help but think the sound is the most beautiful thing she’s ever heard. 

 

‘What can I say? Got to get your kid to like me somehow,’ Catra winks, storing the way Adora flushes for later, and turns to follow after Finn. ‘Now come on, else they’ll wonder where we are and come looking.’ 

 

Adora watches Catra leave, listens to Finn’s shouts of excitement when she finds them, and almost starts crying on the spot. Adora loved her wife, she really did, but after she died Adora never thought she would ever have this . Whatever this is—some echo of the family they’d always dreamed of having. 

 

There’s a photo on the shelf nearby, half obstructed by some plant gifted by Perfuma during one of their “girl’s nights”. Adora moves the plant to the side, revealing the image in full, and picks it up. It’s Adora and her wife, standing in front of a tank at an aquarium as a stingray sticks to the glass behind them. They’re happy. She’s happy. 

 

‘I really like her, Finn seems to as well’ Adora whispers to the photo, bringing her forehead to rest against the glass of the frame, ‘I think you would too. Is it—’ Adora pauses to take a deep breath before asking, ‘—is it okay if I fall in love with her?’ 

 

But Adora chuckles as she remembers some of her wife’s last words to her. 

 

You deserve to be happy. Don’t be afraid to move on from me—no, Adora, I’m serious!

 

‘You already gave me permission, huh?’ 

 

Adora knows her feelings for Catra are growing by the day, and she tries not to think about how, in just under a week, Catra will be leaving to go home to a completely different country hours away by plane. But before she can get too lost in a sea of memories mixed in with the turmoil that comes at the thought of Catra leaving, there’s shouts from the living room, demanding her presence on threat of tickling. 

 

She puts the photo back on the shelf, her hand lingering on the frame for just a moment, before letting go and walking through to see what film Catra and Finn have picked. 

 

I’ll always love you. And, someday, you’ll find someone else who does too. 

—————

Glimmer’s taking a moment to relax. Her days in F.Z. have been spent switching between catching up on some work she still has to finish and exploring Catra’s home. Which is huge . It took Glimmer all of five seconds after arriving at the gates to the mansion that Catra was being extremely modest in their brief web chat. 

 

She’s not complaining though. Oh, no. She’s not complaining at all. 

 

But her relaxation and moment of peace is pierced by the sound of the phone ringing. She checks it, because she can’t not, fully prepared to throw it across the room if it’s her ringing again asking if Glimmer can do more of her work for her. 

 

But it isn’t the woman who broke Glimmer’s heart after all, it’s Adora, her sister, who after a week has finally noticed she’s gone. Honestly, what’s the point in being dramatic if no one’s going to notice? Maybe she should have left something to let her family know what she was doing, but when Catra agreed to Glimmer’s joke of tomorrow all sense flew out the window as Glimmer’s mind went into holiday mode. 

 

Oh, she should probably answer the phone. 

 

‘So were you ever going to call home or were you just waiting for us to notice you were gone?’ 

 

‘Hi, Adora, love you too. I’m great, thanks, how are you?’ 

 

Glimmer can feel Adora rolling her eyes through the phone, and can’t help but smile at the thought. 

 

‘Glimmer…’ 

 

‘Ooo! I met a really nice woman.’ 

 

‘You can’t have moved on already it’s barely been—’ 

 

‘She’s really cute! I don’t know what it is but I love hanging out with her which is honestly a massive breath of fresh air and she’s about 90 years old.’ 

 

Glimmer can’t help but grin as Adora’s laughter comes thundering through the speakers. She missed being able to make her sister laugh. 

 

‘She’s my next door neighbour, or Catra’s, I guess. Keeps making me pies all the time. You should go say hi to Catra by the way, she’s staying in my house, could probably do with the company. There’s people everywhere here so she could do with a friendly face.’ 

 

‘Oh, yeah, we’ve met, and about that…’ 

 

Before Adora can say anything more, the phone beeps to let Glimmer know someone else is calling. ‘Oh! Wait, someone else is calling me. Can I put you on hold, Adora? I do actually want to talk to you, I promise’ 

 

‘Uh… sure?’ 

 

‘Great, thanks!’ Glimmer accepts the incoming call, putting Adora on hold, and greets, ‘Hello?’ 

 

‘Glimmer, hey, it’s Catra.’ 

 

‘Oh, Catra! How are things?’ 

 

‘Things are good, you haven’t burnt my house down yet, have you? What with all those crazy parties you’re no doubt having.’ 

 

Glimmer rolls her eyes, hearing Catra speak is going about as well as she thought it would. 

 

‘I have had zero parties in your house. Buuuuut, now that you’ve put the idea in my head…’ 

 

‘Don’t kid yourself, I know you don’t know anybody there except Razz.’ 

 

‘How did you know I know Razz?’ 

 

‘Because she’s always wandering around handing out pies, duh. I bet you met her on your first day.’ 

 

‘Wait, can you hold? My sister’s on the other line.’ 

 

‘Adora?’ 

 

‘Mhm! She said you’d met.’ 

 

‘Yeah, we’ve met. How– how is she?’ 

 

‘She’s okay, I think? I’m just going to check in with her now.’ 

 

‘Okay.’ 

 

‘Hey Adora,’ Glimmer says after clicking back to her sister, ‘Sorry, that was Catra calling.’ 

 

‘Really? How is she doing? Did she sound okay?’ 

 

‘She actually just asked how you are.’ 

 

‘What did you say?’ 

 

‘I asked her to hold. Actually, can I just call you back?’ 

 

‘I can wait while you speak to her if you want.’ 

 

‘You sure?’ 

 

‘Glimmer just– find out how she is.’ 

 

‘O-kay!’ Glimmer frowns, wondering at just what in the stars is going on, before clicking the call back over to Catra, ‘My sister wants to know how you are.’ 

 

‘Oh, uh, well, you can tell her that I’m good. I was just walking through town, looking at all the lights and shit. Not many tourist-y things to do in a tiny village but I’m giving it my best shot. What’s she been up to? Did she say?’ 

 

‘I’m not sure,’ Glimmer says as a few dots connect in her mind, ‘do you want me to ask her?’ 

 

‘Yeah, whatever, go ahead.’ 

 

Glimmer takes a deep breath as she switches the call back over to Adora. 

 

‘Adora Moon I swear to the gods I can’t believe you’ve slept with the woman staying in my house!’ 

 

‘Did she say that?!’ Catra’s voice came back through, not Adora’s, and Glimmer could hear Catra’s cool facade crumble as fast as her embarrassment skyrocketed. 

 

‘Oh, fuck! I’m so sorry, I thought I was talking to Adora! Can you just hold please? I'm really sorry!’ 

 

After a few mumbled curses and Glimmer taking extra care to make sure she’s actually switched back to Adora this time, she says to her sister: ‘I can’t believe you’ve had sex with Catra! You know the one thing she asked me was “are there any women in your town?” and I told her that there were, in fact, ZERO! And then, apparently, you meet her and can’t keep your big, stupid hands off of her!’ 

 

There’s a beat of silence, before, ‘Still me.’  

 

Glimmer could die from embarrassment right this moment and everyone would stand over her corpse and nod, because they would understand. 

 

‘Just for the record, we haven’t slept together, or had sex, or whatever.’ 

 

‘Oh thank the gods, I must have lost Adora. She’s probably on the train, there’s this tunnel that… never mind.’ Glimmer breathes for the first time in what feels like years as she slumps down in her seat. ‘I’m so sorry about that, Adora’s never usually so… so…’ 

 

Wait, does this mean that Adora…? Nooo… Surely not. Unless…? No. Maybe? 

 

The sound of yet another call coming through distracts Glimmer enough that she doesn’t fully entertain the thought that Adora might, finally, be letting herself feel something for another woman again. 

 

‘Anyway, really sorry. Can I call you back?’ 

 

‘Sure, Glitter.’ 

 

‘Okay. Bye.’ Glimmer doesn’t really have time to notice Catra’s slip of the tongue before she’s ended that call and accepted the new one. ‘Yes, hello?’ 

 

‘Hey, it’s Bow. What’s up, did something happen?’ 

 

‘Bow! Hi!’ Of course he’d be able to pick up on Glimmer’s exasperated tone of voice and immediately know something’s up. Glimmer answers appropriately, of course. ‘No, everything’s just peachy, actually.’ 

 

‘Okay, well I was just calling to ask what you’re doing on Christmas Eve?’ 

 

Christmas Eve. The last day of her holiday, the day when her and Catra swap back and return to their old lives. She may have forgotten to tell Bow exactly when her stint in F.Z. actually ends. But that’s a problem for future Glimmer. 

 

‘Not much,’ she says, and cringes as she does, ‘buuut I was just about to go to the market to grab Razz some ingredients for her next batch of pastries.’ 

 

‘Oh, cool! I’m totally free today if you need a hand.’ 

 

Glimmer’s heart soars. Why does it do that? Another problem for future Glimmer. 

 

‘I would love that, thanks Bow.’ 

 

—————

Before Catra knows it, Adora’s day back in Bright Moon turns into four, which means she won’t be back in time to say goodbye when Catra leaves on Christmas Eve. 

 

In an attempt to distract herself, Catra goes on walks. All by herself, through the fields around Glimmer’s house, a brief jaunt into the woods, she practically maps out Thaymor in her mind. The whole place is, devastatingly, starting to feel too familiar. Familiar in the way that makes her chest ache when she thinks about having to leave. 

 

She can’t quite discern if it’s the place or Adora that makes her feel this way, but it wouldn’t be too far to assume a little of both are contributors. 

 

She does love her life in F.Z., all big and luxurious, but it’s just… not really her. It was always a way to impress, to try and make herself feel worth it to someone. But here? Catra isn’t even living in her own house, and Adora makes her feel like the stars were put there only for her. 

 

On the third day, Catra doesn’t go anywhere or do anything. She just stays in Glimmer’s house, wrapped up in a blanket and comfy clothes, thermal socks pulled as high as they’ll go, reading through more of Glimmer’s little home library. Her suitcase is already packed, clothes picked out for the journey tomorrow, just waiting for the last additions of the clothes she’s wearing and her toothbrush. She packed while desperately trying to not think about Adora, which just fundamentally didn’t work. Adora is, quite possibly, the best thing that’s happened to Catra in a long, long time. 

 

And Finn…

 

Finn was just so amazing. That day at Adora’s house, Finn fell asleep about halfway through Shrek 2, practically plastered to Catra’s side. Not to be a grinch, but her heart definitely grew a few sizes that day and—if she’s being completely honest—she wouldn’t mind squeezing both them and Adora in there for safe keeping. 

 

But she knows she can’t because she’s leaving soon. Catra has a life , a law firm that needs her to be the face of it, a new trainee, a nosey neighbour that happens to be an ex-world famous pastry chef. Plus, she’s pretty sure she never told Bow where she was going, so he’s no doubt worried where she’s gotten to. Unless he’s met Glimmer already, which would explain the lack of a stressed out phone call or anything. 

 

Leaving is going to suck, but maybe not having to say goodbye will make it easier somehow. 

 

Catra’s pretty certain she’s about to start crying, but a knock on the front door distracts her enough to keep her cool. Part of her hopes it’s Adora, but she knows it can’t be. Adora told her she’d be back tomorrow, something about having to fix someone’s else’s last minute mess with bookkeeping, so her mood is instantly soured by having to leave her little cocoon of warmth and sadness to open the door to some random—

 

‘Hey, Catra. Surprise?’ 

 

What Catra does next has nothing to do with her brain, this one’s on her heart. It directs her arms to wrap around the blonde’s neck and pull her down into a searing kiss that communicates everything Catra’s feeling.

I missed you. 

 

I’m so glad you’re here. 

 

I want to be a part of your life but I don’t think I can be. 

 

I think I love you. 

 

And Adora’s heart responds in kind, directing her arms around the brunette’s waist, tugging her impossibly closer as they lose themselves in one another for, what could very well be, the last time. 

—————

‘This fucking sucks.’ 

 

Adora scoffs, ‘Was I really that bad?’ 

 

‘Not you, dummy.’ 

 

Catra sits up, tugging the duvet to cover herself as she does. Never, in a million years, did Catra ever think she’d find herself in a situation like this. Distantly, she muses that if Glimmer had called a few days later, she’d have been correct about her accusation. 

 

‘Well, you have to go to Bright Moon on business trips or something all the time right? Overseas cases? Clients?’ 

 

‘Bright Moon?’ Catra shakes her head, ‘Never.’ 

 

Adora sits up too, trying to get Catra to look in her direction. It doesn’t work. ‘Long distance relationships can work. We can make it work.’ 

 

‘Adora, I can’t make a relationship work when I live in the same house with someone.’ 

 

‘Well that’s perfect then!’ 

 

Catra rolls her eyes with nothing but fondness behind them as she finally looks Adora in the eye. Internally, she melts, because she’s so stupidly head-over-heels for this woman it’s silly, externally… She’s not really sure what’s happening, but Adora looks worried. 

 

‘So,’ Catra starts, moving away from whatever reassurances Adora was about to give at Catra’s deteriorating ability to hold herself together, ‘what if we did go all in? You know? Flying back and forth and whatever.’ 

 

‘Yeah, it’s doable.’ 

 

‘But what if it doesn’t work in the long run? What if we hit a wall? I can’t be away from my job all the time, Adora, I own the firm, they need me there. And what about Finn? You can’t leave them alone so often, even if they do stay with their grandma or whatever. I wouldn’t be okay with it. From there, we just start to feel the tension build and then we figure out it isn’t going to work and then we start fighting because we know there’s no way to fix this and be together the way we both want to be and then after a long, awful phone call that will be it. We’ll say goodbye to each other and we’ll never see each other again.’ 

 

‘Catra—’ 

 

‘No! Adora, me meeting you was some massive fucking cosmic fluke. I was never supposed to be here! If I was happy, if I had it all together or, fuck, if I had clicked on a different house on that fucking website I wouldn’t be here right now!’ 

 

Catra takes a moment to just stew in her thoughts, to simmer down a little, and Adora stays nearby. Catra can’t imagine what the blonde is thinking right now, she must think Catra’s crazy going off on one like that, but Catra’s been left heartbroken too many times to imagine this going well. She doesn’t get nice things. 

 

Maybe that’s it. Maybe this was just a limited time thing. A brief glimpse of what happiness could look like if only she were able to find it and hold onto it. 

 

‘Or maybe we just accept that what we’ve had while I was here was perfect in every way and won’t get any better. Maybe me leaving in a few hours makes this more exciting than it actually is and we should just drop it, and not try to make it better by ultimately making it worse. Maybe .’ 

 

Catra releases a huge breath, falling back into the sheets and bundling them up around her to try and hide from the unfairness of the world. Part of her can’t believe she just voiced all of her fears about forming a more official relationship with Adora out in the open like that, to Adora no less, but it happened and now she knows how crazy Catra really is. Maybe that’s for the best, in her panicking about their relationship never actually working out she’s ended it before it even began. 

 

‘What if I had another scenario for you?’ Adora asks, her voice small, nervous. 

 

Catra peeks out from under the duvet, ‘Thank god, please, anything.’ 

 

‘I’m in love with you.’ 

 

Catra’s eyes grow impossibly large as she sits up to look Adora in the eye. The blonde is smiling, her expression hopeful and eyes full of sincerity, and Catra doesn’t know what to say. 

 

‘I’m sorry for saying it out of nowhere,’ Adora continues, filling the growing silence in the room, ‘and I’m sorry if this fact makes this way more complicated than it was but I am . I am in love with you. I’m not just feeling it because you’re leaving, either, or because it feels nice to feel this way, or it did before you went off like that about how we’re doomed to fail. I don’t know the specifics, or if we’ll work out, or any of that. All I know, for certain, is that I love you. I’m saying it too many times aren’t I? But Catra– I never thought I’d be able to feel this way about someone again so, to me, this is pretty incredible and I’m not ready to give up on us, on what we could be. I know I come as a two for the price of one and in the light of day that might not be all that great but I finally, finally know what it is that I want and that, to me, is nothing short of a miracle.’ 

 

Adora looks close to tears, on the verge of crying yet still so beautiful, as she whispers this last part, hoping beyond anything that Catra feels anywhere near as strongly as she does. 

 

‘And what I want is you. ’ 

 

Adora laughs to herself, wiping her eyes as Catra just continues to gawk at her. 

 

‘Sorry,’ Adora says, laying back down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. ‘I know you promised me you wouldn’t fall in love with me, and this is probably coming completely out of nowhere. I mean we’re not even dating or anything and I just—’ 

 

‘Shhhh…’ Catra’s suddenly above Adora, staring down at the goof who just blew her mind in the best way. ‘You talk too much.’ 

 

‘Says you—’ 

 

But Adora’s words are swallowed by Catra, who captures Adora’s mouth in a soft, languid kiss that she prays will never end because, once it does, this perfect little bubble will burst and Catra will leave. Sure, she wasn’t expecting Adora to say “I love you”, that’s not what she was hoping for out of tonight. She’s not even really sure if she’s ready to say it herself yet, if she’s honest. But knowing that someone, Adora , is able to love her fills her heart with warmth. Just for a moment, Catra lets herself feel the love flowing between them, knowing in her heart that they really do love each other, even if she can’t say it yet.

—————

Catra steps out onto the doorstep of Glimmer’s cottage for the last time, all bundled up. Her suitcase is already in the car that sits, ready and waiting, just beyond the gate to take her to the airport. She takes a deep breath, filling her lungs with that clean, crisp country air that she’s come to love so much. Or, perhaps it’s the owner of the arms snaking around her waist, the owner of the forehead nudging into her shoulder, who really holds her affections hostage, rather than the quality of the air. Who can say, really? 

 

‘It’ll be okay,’ Catra doesn’t really know if she’s talking to herself or Adora, but the words need to be said, ‘It’s not like we’ll never talk again. We’ve got phones, we can call, text, whatever. We’ll be fine. So if you’ll let me, Adora, I really want to kiss you one more time before I go.’ 

 

‘I don’t want to.’ 

 

Catra chuckles, watching as her breath forms a little cloud of steam in front of her face, ‘What do you mean you don’t want to?’ 

 

‘I don’t want there to be a last kiss, and I know it will be, but I don’t want it to be.’ 

 

‘It won’t be. We’ll– I’ll make sure we see each other again, Adora. This isn’t goodbye, not really. This isn’t it .’ 

 

Adora finally releases Catra, stepping out into the cold to join her on the doorstep despite not being dressed for the weather, wearing her clothes in a similar state to how she greeted Catra on her own doorstep all those days ago. 

 

But then all Catra can feel is Adora as the blonde wraps herself around her, kissing her and holding her like her life depends on it. Catra returns the kiss in kind, letting her hands hold onto Adora for dear life should she let go and fall and not be caught. It’s a farewell, sure, but not a permanent one. Whatever this is that exists between them, and there is something there, Catra is determined to not let it vanish like she so awfully ranted to Adora about the night before. 

 

So, when the kiss finally ends and Catra lands back on her heels after tiptoeing, even in her boots, she says a small, ‘See you around, Adora,’ before planting another kiss on the blonde’s cheek, just to see her smile. 

 

‘Take care, Catra,’ Adora whispers, before they spend a moment just staring at each other. 

 

Then, Catra takes a breath, bursting the bubble and turning to walk away down the path toward the waiting car. When she looks back to close the gate, Adora is there, watching, smiling. They wave to one another, and then Catra disappears inside the car. 

 

Adora watches it go until she can no longer see it through the trees. 

 

‘Did you– I was wondering– I just wondered if you had a good holiday, ma’am,’ the driver says, still as awkward as he was when he drove Catra here from the airport two weeks ago. 

 

‘Yeah, it was alright, I guess,’ Catra huffs, looking out of the window, hoping to talk less about the subject the further away from the cottage they get. 

 

It’s unfair, really, that it feels like her heart is trying to burn itself down from the inside out. Is it possible for that to happen? For her heart to physically hurt the further away from Adora she gets? Oh, now she’s thinking about it and realising just how far away she’s going to be. No more Adora, at all, for at least a few months while the holidays calm down and flights stop being crazy. It was a miracle she was able to book the flight home at all, really. 

 

Home. 

 

Catra lifts her hand to brush some hair out of her face, but when it comes away wet she does a double take and dabs at her eyes. Oh, great, now she’s crying and her heart hurts and she doesn’t want to leave. She realises that’s the absolute last thing she wants. Why leave the day before Christmas anyway? It’s not like she has anyone to share it with back in F.Z. 

 

‘Turn around! Go back! I’ve forgotten something important, something I need.’ 

 

‘What is it? I’m sure your friend back there would be able to mail it to you if it’s something small or maybe the company could—’ 

 

‘Kyle I swear on the stars if you don’t turn this car around…’ 

 

Kyle looks terrified, and trips over his words a few times before stopping the car entirely and turning in his seat to look at Catra from behind it. He kind of looks like he’s hiding, or maybe it’s just because he’s small. ‘Look, miss,’ he says, desperately trying to not sound annoyed in that customer service way, ‘I can’t turn around even if I wanted to, the road is just too narrow for the car to do that. I’m really sorry. I could drive all the way out and drive you back in if you wanted? But it’s a long way and you might miss your flight.’ 

 

‘You know what?’ Catra says, opening the car door and stepping out into the snow and cool air. ‘You do that, I’m just gonna run back now.’ 

 

‘You’re going to wha—?’ 

 

But Catra doesn’t hear the rest of what Kyle says, she’s already running. Running toward the only true happiness she’s ever known, running toward the woman who loves her, the woman who deserves to hear Catra say it back because…

 

It’s true, Catra loves Adora. She wants to tell her. She thought she wasn’t ready last night but maybe that was just the nerves talking, maybe she was worried as soon as she left it would go away, the feeling would leave, but she never could have imagine it would make her hurt so intensely before she started running back with a huge smile on her face. 

 

She almost falls a few times—her boots aren’t really made to be running shoes, they’re big, heavy—but she powers through. She was freezing when she started, but now she’s been running for a while and she’s really starting to feel all of her layers. 

 

Whatever Adora’s offering, Catra wants it. She’ll find a way to make it work. She owns the law firm, after all, maybe she can open a Bright Moon branch and make that her permanent office. There’s nothing tying her to F.Z., not really, so maybe this is something to think about? 

 

It’s amazing the thoughts you can have while running through the snow, laughing to yourself while deciding a single person you’ve known for two weeks means more to you than the entire company that your dead mother left you. 

 

When the cottage finally comes back into view, Catra almost starts crying with relief. This feels like coming home, not because of the location, or the newfound familiarity of it, but because of who’s inside, because of who she wants to see. She powers through the ache in her thighs, the way the soles of her feet are screaming at her for running in heavy boots. Even though it hurts, it gets easier with every step. After all, each one brings her closer to the one place she wants to be right now. 

 

She pauses at the gate, catching her breath, and looks up at the house for a moment. Briefly, a flash of doubt clouds her mind, but then she pictures Adora, Finn, the way they all fit so well together, and everything seems clear. She pushes through the gate, smiling from ear to ear, and runs up to the front door that started it all, pushing it open and running inside. 

 

‘Adora?!’ Catra shouts, frantically looking around the kitchen and living room for the person who could well be the love of her life. And then she sees her, coming out from Glimmer’s little library room down the corridor from the kitchen. 

 

Adora’s been crying, she’s sniffing and rubbing at her eyes so she can see Catra more clearly, probably trying to see if she’s even real. Catra’s heart breaks a little at seeing Adora so visibly upset for the first time, but she was the same way in the car until she started running back. Maybe they really are meant for each other. 

 

‘I was just wondering,’ Catra started, unable to hide her smile, ‘why would I leave before Christmas? Or even New Years? You know? What would be the point in that? Seems like a waste of a holiday to me. Plus, you know, you didn’t exactly ask me out or anything, but you did say you loved me so I’m willing to bet I’ve got a date, if you still want me.’ 

 

‘I have Finn on New Years Eve,’ Adora says, as if that’s somehow a detriment and not a fucking bonus. 

 

‘Adora, that sounds perfect,’ Catra promises, closing the distance between them and pulling Adora into a tight, grounding hug. 

 

Adora breathes a sigh of relief at their contact, and almost chokes when Catra whispers: 

 

‘I love you too, by the way.’ 

—————

Bow watches as Glimmer knocks on the door before ringing the doorbell like a woman possessed. He cringes as it rings out, loud and broken from his girlfriend’s incessant pressing, inside the house. When she catches his eye, she smiles, winks, and nods towards the house. 

 

‘I always do it like that,’ Glimmer says, as if it’s normal to try and compose a new musical masterpiece with someone’s doorbell. ‘It’s so sis knows it’s me. Like my very own leitmotif!’ 

 

Bow chuckles at the reference to one of their first conversations, where he’d basically regurgitated everything he was working on in his spare time. To summarise, he likes music, and his fathers often remind him that they named him Bow knowing he’d grow up to love the violin. Which, yes, sure, he does , but Bow is pretty certain the violin part was all Lance, and the not-so-subtle archery lessons from George hinted at a little cross-roads behind the true meaning of his name.

 

But before Bow can say anything at all, the door flies open and a loud, ‘What the fuck is your problem?!’ comes from a particularly short woman who Bow knows like the back of his hand. 

 

‘Catra?!’ He exclaims, shock evident on his face from his wide eyes and gaping mouth. According to Glimmer, Catra was supposed to be back in F.Z. now, what with the time on their holiday coming to an end, but no. Here she is, in Bow’s girlfriend’s sister’s house, wearing the ugliest (and therefore the best) Christmas jumper he’s ever seen. It doesn’t even matter that Christmas itself was five days ago, he’s also still wearing a cropped Christmas jumper. Glimmer is wearing some cross between a dress and a Christmas jumper that her aunt made her one year, apparently. Even though Glimmer swears she hates it, she still wears it every year as something of a family tradition.

 

Bow glances to his right where Glimmer is standing, and sees that she is also struck by Catra’s sudden appearance but, granted, in a very different way. 

 

Is she biting her lip?  

 

‘GIMMMMAAAAAAHHHHH!!’ A loud shout comes from inside the house, followed by the appearance of a bouncy, energetic blonde woman who slings her arms around Catra’s shoulders and rests her chin on the brunette’s head. 

 

To Bow’s surprise, Catra seems to welcome the physical touch, the intimacy, and inwardly he can’t help but feel a swell of happiness in his chest that one of his best friends in the whole world has finally found someone who she can be comfortable around. 

 

‘ADOOORAAAAAAHHHHH!!’ Glimmer yells back, rushing forward to wrap the blonde in a tight hug. Adora returns the hug in kind, and both women hold onto each other as best as they can with a whole other person between them. 

 

Bow watches as Catra scrambles to remove herself from the human vice she’s found herself in, and he’s vaguely reminded of the Death Star trash compactor scene, except in this version there’s shouts of, ‘Get the fuck off!’, ‘Hug literally anywhere else!’, ‘Need to breathe! Lungs! Air!’, that can be heard between the two sister’s raucous laughter. 

 

They do eventually make it inside, and while Glimmer catches up with Adora in the kitchen, no doubt trying to see if she remembers where her sister hides her booze—Glimmer’s a little annoyed that her stash of wine was gone when she arrived home and swore to get revenge—Bow follows Catra through to Adora’s living room where a child is decorating geometric bits of gingerbread on the coffee table. 

 

‘Bow, this is Finn,’ Catra says, as Finn is far too lost in concentration to speak for themself, tongue sticking out and everything as they squeeze the icing onto the confectionery. ‘They aren’t a boy or a girl,’ Catra continues, winking down at Finn when they glance up at her, beaming from ear to ear. 

 

‘New person!’ They shout, forgetting all about their edible artistry in favour of running up to Bow with grabby hands, ‘Can I touch your hair!?’ 

 

Catra barks a laugh, and Bow finds himself laughing along too, even if he is taken aback by the random question. 

 

‘At least wash your hands first, kid,’ Catra says, reaching down to ruffle Finn’s blonde curly locks that fall over what Bow swears is the most adorable undercut he’s ever seen. 

 

‘But it looks so fun,’ Finn protests, and Bow would probably think they were sulking if not for the mischievous glint in their eye as they size up their prey. 

 

‘Just finish decorating the walls and roof of your house so we can build it, then destroy it, and then finally eat it. I swear if I have to hold myself back much longer from just eating it right now I'm gonna get tickly!’ Catra grins, wiggling her fingers to emphasise just what’s gonna happen if she doesn’t get her gingerbread fix sometime soon. 

 

Finn yelps and flees, running back to their previous position on the floor in front of the table to continue working on their masterpiece. 

 

‘That’s possibly the cutest interaction I’ve ever seen!’ Bow whisper-shouts at Catra, who just rolls her eyes in response in some vain attempt to hide her blush. 

 

‘Shut up. I’m not cute, they are though.’ 

 

‘Mhm, mhm, also—just as a side note because I know we’re both thinking it—this house switch holiday is quite possibly the best thing you’ve ever done.’ 

 

Catra laughs again, and looks through to the kitchen when a loud, shrill shout of, ‘NO WAY!!’, comes blaring through the halls. 

 

‘You mean like how we’re apparently taking over this family?’ She asks, an eyebrow raised. 

 

‘No,’ Bow says, his voice soft, ‘How, judging by you still being here and being completely smitten with Finn and their mom, and how I fell completely head over heels with the woman who, at one point, I had to drag from your pool before she turned into a raisen, we both found our person.’ 

 

Catra watches as, inexplicably, Adora comes racing through the room, cackling like a woman possessed, being chased by a furious Glimmer armed with a spray bottle, who’s shouting, ‘YOU DID WHAT IN MY BED!!’

 

She smiles, leans her head on Bow’s shoulder, and whispers, ‘Yeah, we really did.’ 

—————

Later that night, long after Finn has fallen asleep despite insisting they could stay awake until midnight, the four members of the newly proclaimed Double Date Squad stand outside on Adora’s back porch, and count down the seconds until the New Year, watching the sky. 

 

10

 

Catra doesn’t know how her little holiday ended up like this—

 

9 

 

It was just supposed to be a way for her to relax, to forget all about her busy, stressful life for a bit—

 

8 

 

Instead, she found love. 

 

7

 

Adora’s never really been a fan of Glimmer’s extreme reactions to rejection—

 

6

 

But even she has to admit, this one has had the best possible outcome—

 

5

 

She wants to talk to Catra about so much but, for now, it can wait—

 

4

 

After all, they’re all here together, where they belong. 

 

3

 

Catra and Adora, a match that feels like it was inevitable, fated—

 

2

 

And they now have their whole lives ahead of them to see just how well they fit together. 

 

1 

 

As they look into each other’s eyes, leaning closer just as the first firework shrieks into the clear night sky, they know that this is just the beginning of their new forever. 

 

0

 

 

Notes:

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 6 of Iorek's Catradora AUs