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Akutagawa was angry.
He'd been angry all day, in fact, positively seething after reading a text from a certain someone telling him he would be a little bit late today, and apparently "a little bit late" meant forty-five fucking minutes.
And forty-five minutes he waited, feeling like an absolute idiot all the while.
He'd been so angry when that certain someone finally decided to show up that he didn't even let him get a word out before striking at him hard and fast.
"I'm sorry, okay?!"
Atsushi Nakajima was waving his hands in front of his face dramatically in an attempt to encourage a cease fire. It made Akutagawa even angrier, somehow.
He wasn't even sure why.
The idiot opposite him always managed to do something to grate at his nerves, to push and pull at his patience in new ways he never thought possible. It was in the stupid little things, the way he was always speaking with his mouth full, or getting distracted by a stray cat in the middle of an important conversation. It was also in the big things, like bringing up Dazai, or asking him about his sister.
But this was different. This time, he was angry.
All those stupid little things came flooding in at once. The coffee that had been spilled across his compilation of papers. The wrong address incident. The fucking cat hair.
The man standing across from him was the absolute polar opposite of everything he was or ever could be, and he wondered why he kept agreeing to meet him for these sessions.
Sometimes they sparred. Sometimes they simply shared information. But somehow, without fail, Akutagawa always left each meeting feeling... weird. He didn't understand what it was or why, and it bothered him.
Atsushi's bright eyes were wide and youthful as he playfully side-stepped Rashomon, and his lips parted in an enthusiastic smile, apparently amused by the whole situation. It was maddening.
"A 'little bit late,' Jinko?"
"I said I was sorry," the man said with a pout, and Akutagawa bit the inside of his cheek. "Thank you for waiting."
Akutagawa opened his mouth to say something but he was at a loss for words. Why did he wait? Why didn't he leave after five minutes? Perhaps even ten, if he was feeling particularly generous? It wasn't like him to make those sorts of allowances for anyone, let alone a member of the ADA. Why did he keep giving him leeway over and over and over again? Why was he letting that idiot get so comfortable with him?
That fuzzy, lightheaded, weird feeling began creeping in again, and he grimaced.
"You're a pain in the ass," he said finally. "Just shut up and fight me."
The smile dropped from Atsushi's lips, and there was a curious expression on his face.
"Everything okay?" he asked, as though he deserved some sort of explanation, and Akutagawa hated it.
"I said shut the fuck up," he repeated, louder this time, and punctuated it with a quick strike from Rashomon that knocked him off his feet.
"If I had known you were going to be this pissed off about it I would have just rescheduled," Atsushi replied with a huff, picking himself up off the floor.
Akutagawa wasn't really listening. Instead he was honing in on the little expressions on the other man's face. The crease of his forehead, the brief flash of teeth. He wanted to push him, to make him just as angry as he was.
He could feel it welling up inside. It felt like he was burning. He focused on his own heartbeat as it began to increase its pace.
He attacked with Rashomon again. And again.
Atsushi practically growled at him, finally getting serious. He was dodging and parrying, jumping and twisting to escape the tendrils that reached for him. He was sprinting toward Akutagawa at inhuman speed, and he was ready.
"Too slow, Jinko," he said in a voice that was supposed to be calm, but even he could hear that it was trembling. Atsushi must have heard it too, because a confused expression flashed on his face.
Rashomon swiped his legs out from under him and he tumbled to the ground, rolling a few times with the momentum. He finally came to a stop at Akutagawa's feet, and he wasted no time in digging his heel into Atsushi's chest.
"Don't waste my time," Akutagawa muttered bitterly before turning around and walking away.
"What's your problem?" Atsushi called out from behind him, exasperated.
"You are," he shouted over his shoulder. He felt like a petulant child, but he didn't care. He was angry, and he still didn't really know why.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and continued walking along the abandoned warehouse where they had agreed to meet. Forty-five minutes ago.
"You're being a real asshole today."
Akutagawa tried not to startle as the sound came from directly behind him. He hadn't been focused, wasn't paying enough attention to his surroundings, and his slow reaction allowed the other man to get the upper hand. He winced as his back collided with a nearby wall, and he concentrated on the dull ache.
"Am I?" Akutagawa asked before sucker punching him in the stomach. Without Tenma Tengai it wasn't particularly strong, but it seemed to hurt nonetheless.
It was apparently the final straw.
Atsushi lunged at him, having learned from their previous fights that Akutagawa was not as adept in close combat. Before he knew it, his face was pressed up against the rough stucco, one arm pinned uncomfortably behind his back. There was a hand pressed between his shoulder blades, holding him firmly in place. For one short and disconcerting moment Akutagawa thought he might even have enjoyed it a little. He shook the thought from his brain as quickly as it came and fixated on the jagged material that was jabbed into his cheek.
"Yes," Atsushi said, trying to catch his breath. "You are."
"And you, Jinko, are wasting my time. Always pulling your punches, never taking anything seriously. Why do I even bother with worthless trash like you?"
He summoned Rashomon to pull the other man away from him. The pressure on his back was gone for a moment as the tendrils yanked it free, but it was quickly replaced by a very large and very strong paw.
He couldn't have stopped the scream from escaping his lungs if he tried. It was practically forced out of him as Atsushi grabbed him, digging his sharp claws straight through his coat and into his skin, and slamming him hard against the wall. The toes of his boots were the only things still touching the ground, and he scrabbled uselessly at the wall with his free hand.
Despite everything that was happening, all Akutagawa could focus on was how much it hurt.
He didn't even feel angry anymore.
Atsushi was breathing very hard behind him, and he vaguely wondered how long it would take him to feel guilty about what he had done.
"Shit."
Not long, apparently.
Atsushi retracted his claws, and Akutagawa hissed at the sensation. The sharp sting gave way to the warm feeling of blood sliding over his skin. There was something oddly blissful about it.
"Fuck," Atsushi muttered to himself, gently lowering Akutagawa so that he was solidly on the ground. The little string of profanities continued, but he didn't remove his hands.
"You going to let go of me?" he asked.
"You first."
Akutagawa spared a glance over his shoulder to see black fabric wrapped firmly around Atsushi's wrists, holding them in place. He wasn't sure when or why he had done that, and he deliberately tried to avoid thinking about it.
"Ah," he said simply, and watched them slowly unravel. Atsushi gently pulled his hands away, and Akutagawa winced at the feeling of his arm returning to its normal position. He softly rubbed at his wrist, certain it would be badly bruised later. He felt a little jolt of excitement at the thought, and that confused him.
He pressed his forehead against the wall and took a deep breath before finally turning around to face the other man. He pressed his back against it, leaning into it and savoring the pain that blossomed over his fresh injury once more. He fixated on how raw it felt, how much it hurt, and it distracted him from the strange flurry of emotions that had been overwhelming him all day.
He must have looked rough, if Atsushi's expression was anything to go by.
"You're too soft, Jinko," Akutagawa said quietly. "You finally get the chance to kick the shit out of me and you let it go, just like that."
"I'm not like you," Atsushi replied with a sneer. "I don't actually want to hurt you."
The anger that had finally subsided began bubbling up to the surface once more. He felt frustrated and confused, and he tightened his fingers around the bruises on his wrist.
"Do it anyway."
Rashomon shot forward and knocked the other man backward, sending him stumbling across the floor. He began attacking relentlessly with Kurohato, making Atsushi transform in order to quickly dodge. He coughed into his hand as he watched him get steadily closer, but he made no attempt to move away.
"Is that all you've got, Jinko?" he goaded, flashing his teeth. "Surely you can move faster than that."
As expected, the man rose to the challenge, increasing his pace. He showed incredible dexterity and Akutagawa couldn't hold back a small smile at the sight. He knew exactly which buttons to push to bring out his true potential. Perhaps that's why Dazai asked them to work together.
His smile faltered and he pressed himself harder against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut.
Dazai. Dazai. Why was he always thinking about Dazai?
When he finally opened his eyes, Atsushi was directly in front of him.
He didn't have time to react before the other man returned the favor, utilizing the beast's strength drive a knee into his stomach.
Akutagawa doubled over in pain, coughing uncontrollably and falling to his knees. He weakly attempted a counter attack, but before he could get his bearings Atsushi's fist connected with his cheek. The force of it sent him the rest of the way down to the floor, bracing himself on his hands. His vision blurred, and he could barely make out the spatter of blood on the concrete.
It took an embarrassingly long while for Akutagawa to finally catch his breath. Each sharp inhale made his lungs burn, and each cough aggravated his sore abdominal muscles. He clutched at them with one hand, prodding at the sensitive flesh and digging his fingers in.
"You're ridiculous," Atsushi sighed, tiredly swiping a hand over his face. "You didn't even move, and you're barely fighting back. I already told you, I don't want to hurt you, so why are you trying to make me?"
He wondered about that himself.
"I'm fighting back," he said, ignoring the rest of the question. Atsushi rolled his eyes.
"I'm not doing this," he replied with a sigh. "Sort out your shit and we'll do this another time."
"What's the matter? Scared, Jinko?"
He hardly felt it when Atsushi hooked his foot underneath him, knocking him sideways and onto his back.
His limbs felt like jelly and his vision was still fuzzy at the edges. He could make out the other man's form hovering over him, arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Are you done?" Atsushi spat, finally sounding as frustrated as he'd been all day.
Akutagawa stared up at the deteriorated ceiling as it finally came back into focus.
"Yeah," he said finally.
Atsushi reached a hand out toward him, and he eyed it for a moment before hesitantly accepting the help. The other man's palm slid delicately over his own, and calloused fingers wrapped around his wrist.
Akutagawa sucked in a breath at the quick shock of pain when he pressed against his bruised skin, and he reflexively tightened his grip. Atsushi immediately released him and was already apologizing, but Akutagawa continued to hold onto him firmly. He squeezed his eyes shut and he felt himself shudder, and a small whimper spilled from his lips.
"Oh," Atsushi murmured above him.
Akutagawa peeked an eye open to look at him.
"What?" he asked.
A sly grin slowly spread over the other man's face, and he shook his head in disbelief.
"You've got to be kidding me," Atsushi continued, mumbling to himself as if Akutagawa wasn't even there.
"What?" he repeated, becoming frustrated.
"Fucking masochist," the man chuckled, looking directly into his eyes.
Akutagawa could feel his face immediately flush, and his eyes went wide.
"W-what?" he stuttered, confused.
"You heard me," Atsushi went on, rolling his eyes. "Is that why you're always acting like such a dick? You want me to pick a fight with you?"
"N-no, no, that's not-"
The man above him lifted his leg and Akutagawa flinched, ready to be kicked in the gut. Instead, Atsushi gently stepped on his crotch.
Akutagawa's eyes shot open and he gasped, finally releasing his vice-like grip on Atsushi's forearm. His head fell back with a small thump and he instinctually squeezed his legs shut, effectively trapping him there.
For the first time in his life, Akutagawa had no fucking idea what he was supposed to do.
"Idiot," Atsushi muttered.
Akutagawa's mouth fell open but he couldn't think of a single thing to say. He tried to dig through his arsenal of insults but none of them were at the ready as they should have been. It was as if his brain had short circuited.
One of his hands was clenched into a fist at his side while the other hovered awkwardly over the very warm place between his legs, completely at a loss about what to do about it.
"W-wait, I'm not-" I'm not a masochist, he thought frantically, finding it practically impossible to form a cohesive sentence.
"Sure," Atsushi said with a small smile before pressing down a little harder.
Akutagawa's gasp sounded deafening in the quiet warehouse, and he wondered if it was possible to die from embarrassment.
It felt like the moment had gone on for ages before Atsushi finally pointed an accusatory finger at him.
"Sort out your shit, Akutagawa," he scolded. "We'll do this another time."
And just like that, the pressure was gone, and he was walking away.
Akutagawa waited until he could no longer hear the other man's footsteps before slowly sitting up and pressing his back against the wall.
Fucking masochist.
No. That's not what this was about. Akutagawa was just angry. He'd been frustrated with the other man's tardiness, with all his insufferable little quirks that drove him up a wall. They were just sparring like normal. He wasn't trying to get hurt. What good would it do him to get hurt on purpose? He just wanted to fight. To blow off some steam. To feel something other than just angry for once.
Right?
He looked down at his trembling hands. He dug his fingernails into his palms and let out a shaky breath. He was covered in blood and dirt, and sporting a very uncomfortable hard on.
Two weeks had passed since the incident, and he'd ignored eight of Atsushi's text messages so far. His phone vibrated on the table beside him and he glanced at the screen to see a ninth flash across it.
After a deep sigh and a long moment of contemplation, he reached over and flipped it around in his hand. Two whole weeks and he still didn't have a plan other than to hope they somehow never crossed paths again.
He swiped his thumb across the screen.
I know you've been reading these messages. We need to talk. Come to my place tomorrow at 7.
Akutagawa had never been to the ADA dormitory, but of course he knew where it was, and Atsushi knew it too. He scrolled up to reread some of the previous messages.
Looking for intel on a guy who works at one of the docks. Might be mutually beneficial.
The Port Mafia was already involved, and they didn't need the ADA to interfere. He didn't think it important enough to warrant a response.
What was that place called that had the custard taiyaki?
He rolled his eyes. Stupid Jinko and his stupid taiyaki. The moment he'd tasted it his face lit up and he wouldn't stop raving about it. He almost liked it as much as chazuke. He supposed it was his own fault for introducing him to the shop that had more fillings than red bean, but how could he have known that he'd create a new obsession? He caught himself smiling fondly at the memory, and his stomach tightened.
He wrinkled his nose and shook the thoughts from his head before looking back down at the screen.
Dazai is starting to ask questions.
He sighed again, something he'd been doing a lot lately, and slid the phone into his pocket. He wondered if it was possible to simply continue avoiding the other man for the rest of his life.
Akutagawa arrived precisely at 7pm as he was asked to. He considered showing up exactly 45 minutes late, but he ultimately decided against it.
Atsushi was very amicable when he invited him in, and quickly brought him a cup of green tea. He didn't have a chance to accept nor decline, as it was placed directly into his hands before the other man began pouring another for himself.
"Thanks," he muttered, letting the warmth of the ceramic bloom over his palms. It was a little chilly out, and it had taken Atsushi a few minutes to answer the door.
"You're welcome," he replied, blowing at the liquid in his own cup. "I wasn't sure you were going to come."
"Yeah, well..." Akutagawa said, letting his voice trail off. He wasn't sure what to say, so he opted to take a sip of his tea instead. It was slightly bitter, like the leaves had been steeping a few minutes too long, but it was overall pleasant and comforting.
Atsushi walked them over to his small living area and sat down in one of the chairs. Akutagawa followed his lead and chose the sofa. Despite looking a little rough around the edges, he found that it was quite plush and comfortable.
"So," Akutagawa began awkwardly, staring pointedly into his teacup and nowhere else. "What is it you needed to see me about?"
He could see Atsushi bring the cup to his lips in his peripheral vision, but avoided looking at him directly.
"I wanted to apologize," he said.
The silence dragged on between them, and Akutagawa wasn't sure if he was supposed to say something back.
"I went too far," he continued finally, fiddling with the handle of his teacup. "However," he added, and Akutagawa suddenly felt very nervous. "I do think we need to address it."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Akutagawa said suddenly.
"Yeah you do."
"I don't," he repeated, setting his cup down on the coffee table. He was beginning to feel that fuzzy sensation again, and he didn't need to look like even more of an idiot by angrily spilling his tea. "Nothing happened. We were just fighting, and I was just... I was just frustrated."
"Frustrated? Is that what we're calling it now?"
Akutagawa finally glanced over at him in time to see a small smirk disappearing behind the rim of the teacup.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing," Atsushi said with a quiet chuckle. "Never mind."
"Jinko, will you just fucking say what you mean for once?"
"Look who's talking."
Akutagawa wanted to scream. The other man irritated him to no end, and he buried his head in his hands wearily.
"I... I don't..." he stammered softly into the safe darkness between his arms. It was easier with his eyes closed, pretending the other man wasn't sitting so close by. "I really don't know what it was about, alright? I was just so mad, all fucking day, and I wasn't thinking straight. Sometimes I just want to feel something, okay? So I just... I just wanted you to beat the shit out of me a little."
He cringed internally as soon as the jumble of words left his lips. It was a terrible explanation and he nervously waited for Atsushi to say something, anything. As the moments continued to pass he became gradually more anxious, clenching his jaw until it felt sore. He heard a soft sigh.
"Horny," Atsushi said flatly.
"What?" he managed to choke out, trying not to spiral into a coughing fit.
"You told me to say what I meant. That's what I meant. I thought 'frustrated' was a euphemism."
"For fuck's sake."
"I'm sorry, okay? But to be fair..."
Akutagawa clenched his fists and wished for some sort of natural disaster to roll through and save him from whatever humiliating thing Atsushi was going to say next.
"Pants as tight as yours are terrible at hiding boners."
He wanted to die.
"I have to go," Akutagawa said suddenly, and he quickly made his way to the door.
"Wait!" Atsushi called out behind him, but he could barely hear it over the thundering heartbeat in his ears. Just a few more steps and he'd be free, greeted by the cold crisp air, and he decided that he would simply avoid the other man for the rest of his life.
"Wait," Atsushi repeated, more softly this time, and his wistful tone of voice finally stopped him in his tracks. His hand was on the knob, but he didn't try to turn it. He wasn't sure why.
"I'm sorry. I'll stop teasing you, I promise. Just let me say something, alright?"
Akutagawa was facing the door, hiding his face, but he still made no effort to leave. He leaned his head forward and rested his forehead against the wood with a small sigh.
"Look, if that's really all you want then I can probably find it in me to punch you in the face every now and then. I don't necessarily think it's the healthiest way to deal with your emotions, but I guess I can kind of understand."
Akutagawa worried at his lip and squeezed the cold metal in his hand, willing himself to just open the door and walk the fuck away forever. He had no idea what he wanted, let alone how to express it to Atsushi of all people.
"You can leave right now and we can pretend this never happened, or you can stay and we can try and figure it out. Whatever you want."
"Didn't think I was going to be psychoanalyzed when I agreed to come here," he grumbled against the door. He heard a small chuckle and a few footsteps drawing near. He slowly pried his fingers away from the knob and took a deep breath before finally turning around.
Atsushi was closer than he expected him to be, and he quickly backed himself against the door. He hoped he didn't look startled, but he was pretty positive that he did.
The younger man was staring at him curiously. His vibrant eyes were wide and bright, and simply looking into them made him feel more at ease. He wondered if he knew that he could do that to people. Or maybe just to him.
He wasn't sure what to think about that.
The silence stretched out between them and that pesky sensation began to weave up his spine and down to his fingertips, making his nerves tingle and his thoughts begin to blur. He wasn't frustrated, but he was confused, and he wasn't sure what he should do. The other man was studying his face, making him feel vulnerable, and he swallowed the lump in his throat.
Atsushi took another step forward, crowding his personal space. Akutagawa couldn't back up any further, and he held his breath, waiting.
He was so close, and for a moment he wondered if Atsushi was going to kiss him.
His heart picked up its pace at the thought. There was a tight feeling in his chest, and he felt so confused but excited. He clenched his fists at his sides, suddenly feeling oddly hopeful for reasons he couldn't explain. Did he want Atsushi to kiss him?
His stomach did a little flip as his nerves took over and his mind began running a mile a minute.
Why would Atsushi kiss him? They weren't particularly compatible with one another, if he was being honest. Apart from being involved in organizations that could not be more opposite, their goals and motivations and personalities were so wildly different from one another. The only similarity they shared was that they were both young and stupid.
Atsushi wasn't going to kiss him. That wouldn't make any sense at all.
His eyes flicked down to Atsushi's lips and back up, and he could feel himself blush. He wondered what he tasted like.
But he would never kiss him. And that was okay. He didn't want him to anyway. Why would he want Atsushi to kiss him?
He'd been spending so much time staring into those brilliantly colored irises that he wasn't paying attention to the other man's hands. He hadn't noticed them moving at all until he felt the top button of his shirt come undone.
He was certain that he must have looked like a deer in headlights. He stood completely still, afraid to even breath. He clenched his jaw to keep from jumping as Atsushi tugged his collar to the side.
Atsushi didn't kiss him. He tilted his head, leaned forward, and sank his teeth into the junction between Akutagawa's neck and shoulder.
He made a rather embarrassing noise that sounded like a yelp and his entire body went rigid.
Atsushi's teeth were sharp and his mouth was warm, and he bit down hard.
Akutagawa tossed his head back against the door with a loud thump and he sucked in a breath, focusing on the pain and nothing else. He could feel the thrumming of his heartbeat beneath Atsushi's lips, could practically pick out the distinct sensation of each individual tooth that clamped down on his flesh. He could vaguely tell that his own hands were hovering over Atsushi's hips, not quite touching him.
Atsushi's free hand pressed against his ribcage, and he dug his nails into it. He could feel each fingertip pushing against him, and he imagined what the bruises would look like later. He was filled with an odd excitement just thinking about it. He finally let his own hands fall back to his sides, unable to properly use them anymore.
When Atsushi pulled away, he did so very gently, and a sense of relief washed over him. His constricted muscles finally relaxed all at once, and he practically melted against the door, leaning against it with all of his weight. The air felt cold against the damp spot on his skin, and it soothed the ache that was left behind.
"Alright?" Atsushi asked. A light blush dusted his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, and Akutagawa thought it was perhaps the cutest thing he had ever seen.
"Yes," he replied, but the sound barely came out. He sounded wrecked, like he'd been screaming for days, and a proud smile crept over the other man's face.
"Did I hurt you?"
"Yes," he said, trying to will away the tremble in his voice.
"That's what you wanted, right?"
Akutagawa blinked back at him very slowly.
"Can..." Akutagawa began, feeling rather nervous. "Can you do it again?"
His eyes wandered to the floor, suddenly embarrassed to look Atsushi in the eyes.
"Where?" Atsushi asked, and he felt a rush of excitement.
"Anywhere," he said quickly, wishing he didn't sound so desperate.
His eyes flicked down to Atsushi's hands, which he realized were actually quite lovely to look at. They reached forward and began unfastening the next few buttons on his shirt, and he found himself holding his breath once more.
He didn't dare move a muscle for fear of ruining whatever sort of moment this was. Atsushi was gentle and precise, working his way down four of the buttons before sliding the fabric to one side, this time exposing the opposite shoulder. He leaned his head forward and Akutagawa was ready for him to sink his teeth into the same area as before, but instead he felt hot breath ghosting over his clavicle.
Atsushi dipped his head lower until his lips were barely touching his pectoral, and Akutagawa wondered if he could feel the way his heart was pounding, wondered if he could hear it. It certainly felt loud enough.
Atsushi's teeth scraped along his chest and he gasped when he sucked at his skin, pulling it into his mouth so that he could bite down on it. He could picture the lovely purple welt that would form there, framed by a circle of red indentations. The jagged teeth pushed into him further, and Akutagawa pressed his hands firmly against the door behind him, needing something to hang on to. He tried not to fidget as the pain bloomed, forcing him to focus his attention. If the man kept it up much longer he wasn't sure if he could keep from crying out.
Atsushi slowly released him and leaned back so that he could look Akutagawa in his hooded, glazed over eyes.
He wondered if he was going to kiss him.
"Are you still frustrated?" Atsushi asked him quietly, a playful smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Is that a euphemism?"
"Yes," he whispered back before gently slotting his thigh in between Akutagawa's legs.
The sensation hit him all at once.
He was suddenly very aware of his own cock straining in his pants. It was throbbing almost painfully, begging for attention, and he knew Atsushi could feel every single jerk and twitch. He wondered when he'd gotten so fucking hard, and how he somehow managed not to notice.
"Yes," he blurted out, obviously no longer able to ignore it. He could feel his cheeks burning and he wished he could hide his face, but he was trapped. Atsushi was so close to him, and he was staring directly into his eyes.
"What do you want, Ryūnosuke?" he asked softly.
I want you to hurt me.
I want you to make me feel something.
"I want you to kiss me."
Atsushi smiled at him, a quick flash of teeth before pressing their lips together.
Something inside him snapped.
He reached out his trembling hands and wrapped them around Atsushi's waist, yanking him close. The other man's hips slammed against him, and he could feel the hard outline of his cock as it brushed against his own.
His unsure fingers slipped as confidently as they could manage up and under Atsushi's shirt to knead at the soft skin underneath. He spread his lips, allowing the other man's tongue to explore, and he groaned low in his throat at the sensation, no longer caring about how flustered he sounded.
He tasted like green tea.
Atsushi made a pleased little sound that made his head spin. He wanted more, so much more, and he tugged him closer. He wanted that lithe body pressed as close to him as humanly possible. Sharp teeth nipped at his bottom lip, and he moaned as he rolled his hips against him.
Atsushi's hands trailed down his back and settled on his ass, and he'd never been so turned on in his life. Atsushi bit down a little harder, and he whined into his mouth. He knew how desperate it must have sounded, but he couldn't stop. He tightened his own grip at the other man's sides and found himself spreading his legs. He trailed his thigh up along Atsushi's without quite knowing what he was doing, and without missing a beat Atsushi slipped a hand around the back of his knee, hoisting it up and pressing it firmly against his waist.
"Is this okay?" the younger man murmured against his lips.
"Yes," Akutagawa replied quickly, too quickly, and he realized that he was breathing rather hard.
"Good," Atsushi said simply before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his neck.
Akutagawa tilted his head back and his eyes fluttered shut. The other man's lips were soft and gentle against his skin. He wasn't biting or sucking, just lightly teasing with his tongue, and he realized that he was being careful not to leave any marks above his collar.
Atsushi began slowly rocking against him, giving him some of that delicious pressure he craved. Akutagawa dug his heel into the other man's backside, trying to pull him even closer still.
"Would you like to move back to the couch?" Atsushi asked playfully, and he nodded, no longer trusting his voice.
Akutagawa barely had time to process what was happening before he was being lifted off the ground. Atsushi picked him up as though he weighed nothing at all, and he instinctively wrapped both legs around his waist and laced his fingers around the back of his neck.
"Jinko," he huffed, exasperated, and it earned him a low chuckle.
"Not my name," he replied in a singsong voice before squeezing his ass.
"A-Atsushi," he whispered breathlessly, though it sounded more like a whine. He felt himself blush fiercely, and quickly hid his face in the crook of the other man's neck.
The dorm was small, and it didn't take long to move across the room to the couch. Atsushi sat down, pulling Akutagawa with him to straddle his lap, and he suddenly realized that he had no idea what to do.
Atsushi must have noticed this, since he gently guided him into a soft kiss.
"What do you want, Ryūnosuke?"
He swallowed hard, and the little burst of confidence from earlier finally dissipated from his veins.
"I-" he started, but the sound trailed off. What did he want?
"Do you want me to punch you in the face?" Atsushi teased, and he smiled brightly.
"Shut up, Jinko," he grumbled, and Atsushi didn't correct him. Instead, he jerked his hips upward while tugging Akutagawa down.
Each jolt of pleasure that Atsushi coaxed from him made him feel more and more reckless. He hissed at the sensation, the hard press and slow drag against his aching cock.
"Want you on top of me," he said finally, breathless and trembling. He felt terribly embarrassed and hated the reasons why.
He should be the one in control. He shouldn't want Atsushi dictating, shouldn't want him to hold him down and have his way with him, but he did. He wanted to feel Atsushi's full weight on top of him, wanted to feel his hands on his wrists. He wanted his entire being to suffocate him.
He cringed internally and he closed his eyes, not wanting to see whatever expression had flashed across the other man's face.
Without saying a word, Atsushi delicately repositioned them so that Akutagawa was laid out lengthwise on the couch, and he carefully climbed on top of him.
"How's this?" he asked softly, and when Akutagawa finally looked up he saw the other man smiling warmly above him. The vibrant swirl of purple and yellow in his eyes was hypnotizing. He slowly parted his legs to allow Atsushi to slot himself between them, and it felt heavenly.
"Good," he replied softly.
"Good," Atsushi whispered against his lips as he kissed him again. He propped himself up on his elbows and tucked his hands under Akutagawa's arms. "Keep going. What else do you want?"
"I... I don't know," he said nervously, eyes flittering away to look up at the ceiling. "I just... want you close..."
"Okay," he said simply, and lowered his body the rest of the way until they were pressed tightly against each other.
Akutagawa arched his back and sighed. The younger man wasn't particularly heavy, but the warm, solid pressure he provided felt spectacular. Atsushi's chest pressed against his each time his lungs filled with air, and he changed the rate of his own breathing to match. He snaked his hands up the small of his back and tangled their legs together. Atsushi brushed their noses against one another and he felt a sudden surge of affection for the man.
They stayed like that for a long while, kissing one another lazily. Atsushi nipped at his lip every now and again, and each time it made Akutagawa shiver. He couldn't tell if it had been minutes or hours, and he found that he didn't really care.
Atsushi finally huffed out a small laugh against his lips.
"I think this is as close as I can get."
Akutagawa confusedly opened his eyes to discover that Rashomon's tendrils were wrapped over and around Atsushi's back, effectively binding them together. He immediately blushed.
"S-Sorry," he stammered, unsure how it was possible for him not to have noticed. "I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine," he interrupted with a chuckle. "You worry too much." Akutagawa was about to protest, but he was cut off by the quick press of warm lips against his own. "You know you do," Atsushi added with a small giggle. Again Akutagawa opened his mouth to argue, but the younger man had worked his way down to his neck, and he sucked in a breath instead.
Rashomon loosened to allow Atsushi to shift lower, and he shuddered at the press and drag of his hips between his thighs.
"Is this alright?" Atsushi asked him as he toyed with the buttons on the front of his shirt. "It's okay if you want to keep kissing instead."
Akutagawa bit his lip and dug his nails into the cushion.
"It's alright," he tried to say with as much confidence as he could muster, though he wasn't sure how convincing it was.
He was trying quite hard to keep his breathing under control as Atsushi began unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way down. He opened it up but didn't attempt to remove his clothing completely, which Akutagawa was thankful for. He knew he didn't need it, not really, but his coat made him feel more secure.
Atsushi raked his teeth across his skin, and he gasped as they gently grazed his nipple. He could feel the younger man's lips curl into a smirk before sliding his tongue lightly over the tip.
"Fuck," Akutagawa groaned, arching his back. This was apparently the response that Atsushi had been looking for, as he quickly began licking, biting, sucking repeatedly, until Akutagawa could no longer think straight, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Once he was satisfied, he switched to the other, and Akutagawa practically shouted at the feel of his sharp teeth and hot tongue.
"Careful," Atsushi said in a playful tone. "Thin walls."
The younger man continued his descent, peppering kisses over the scattered scars on Akutagawa's pale skin as he did so. It tickled, and it made his muscles twitch.
"Will you do something for me?" Atsushi asked him softly, peeking up through his lashes with shimmering doe eyes.
Despite not having any idea what was about to be asked of him, Akutagawa found himself nodding his head eagerly. How could he possibly say no to that face?
"Will you touch yourself?"
Akutagawa's mouth fell open and his eyes went wide.
"W-what?" he managed to choke out. He was quite sure he heard him correctly, but his brain needed a moment to process it.
"I want to watch you touch yourself," Atsushi repeated, but this time his voice sounded deeper, smoother. His eyes seemed brighter, his pupils blown wide, and Akutagawa barely bit back a whimper at the sight of him.
Akutagawa could no longer form a sentence, let alone single words, so he simply gave the other man a very slow and hesitant nod.
A wide grin spread across Atsushi's face as though he'd just been presented with a fantastic treat. He let his fingers glide down Akutagawa's body as he leisurely sat back on his heels and waited.
Akutagawa tried his best to will away the nerves, but it was no use. It made his chest tighten, and he felt ridiculous. He fumbled a bit as he unfastened the button on his trousers with trembling fingers. He pointedly looked down at his hands, embarrassed that they were clearly not doing what he wanted them to do, and when he finally managed to pull down the zip and push them lower on his hips he was feeling entirely unsexy.
He was about to tell Atsushi that this entire thing was a mistake and that he shouldn't have come here, but when he looked up he found the other man staring at him hungrily, biting his lip in anticipation. His cheeks were pink, and the rise and fall of his chest seemed quicker than before. His hair was a little disheveled, and his eyelids were heavy. Atsushi had no business looking that fucking good.
Akutagawa could not for the life of him understand why Atsushi would be looking at him like that, but he latched onto the small boost of confidence it provided him long enough to finally slip a hand under his waistband and wrap it around his cock. Atsushi hooked his finger's into his belt loops and tugged, helping to slide them down far enough for Akutagawa to pull his dick free.
He watched curiously as Atsushi licked his lips, and he gently stroked his fingers over his hard length. He gave himself a light squeeze at the base before softly gliding his fingers up to the tip.
"You look very pretty like this," Atsushi murmured, eyes still glued to his cock.
Pretty.
No one had ever called him that before.
"Yeah?" he whispered before he could stop himself.
"Yeah," Atsushi repeated, licking his lips.
Pretty.
Akutagawa continued to jerk himself off, still feeling very self conscious, but he was pleased to see that Atsushi appeared to be enjoying it. He took himself more fully in his hand and rubbed his thumb over the head in a circular motion. He brought it back down languidly, drawing the motion out and spreading the wetness across his skin. Atsushi dipped his head lower and Akutagawa's heart thumped loudly in his chest. He dragged his fingers to the base of his dick and held them there, holding his breath as Atsushi slowly drew closer.
Atsushi's tongue peeked out from between his lips and he carefully swiped it over the head of his cock, dipping it into the slit to taste the precum there. That one simple movement was already driving him mad, and he squeezed himself between his thumb and forefinger a little tighter. His eyes fell closed and he tilted his head back, but before he could even try to compose himself Atsushi's beautiful lips were already firmly wrapped around his cock.
"Jinko," Akutagawa cried out, unable to stop himself.
His eyes shot open as a hand clasped over his mouth, and Atsushi was suddenly hovering over him with a very satisfied grin on his face.
"A loud one, aren't you?" he chuckled quietly, biting his lip. His voice was low and sultry, and Akutagawa whined behind his palm. "What are we going to do about that?"
Atsushi reached back down between them to gently tease the head of his cock with feather-light touches, and Akutagawa's eyes rolled back in his head. His muffled moans earned him a nice long stroke with barely there pressure, so much and yet not nearly enough.
Atsushi leaned forward and sank his teeth into Akutagawa's shoulder, and he was certain he would have screamed if not for the hand still clamped tightly over his mouth, which he was starting to realize he really enjoyed. He tried to spread his legs as wide as they would go within the confines of the admittedly tight pants that he was wearing, which were now bunched up beneath his ass. He had one thigh pressed snugly against Atsushi's warm side, and the other was hanging off the edge of the couch. He bucked his hips and groaned as Atsushi ran his tongue over the tender flesh he'd just marked, and he felt his fingertips press harder into his jaw.
The hand that had been leisurely trailing over his cock slipped further down and Atsushi placed his fingers on top of his own, guiding them to continue stroking up and down his length together.
"So hard for me," Atsushi whispered against his skin, and Akutagawa shivered. "Do you think you can be quiet while I suck you off?" He smirked as he pulled away and gently placed his fingertips over Akutagawa's lips in a shushing motion.
Unsure of what the fuck had come over him, Akutagawa opted to stick out his tongue.
Atsushi's eyes widened and he stared intently as Akutagawa pulled the digits into his mouth and began sucking at them lightly. It earned him a long, drawn out sigh, and the hand that was helping him jerk off tightened.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said with a chuckle. His voice was soft and airy, and he made a pleased sound.
Atsushi dipped his head and Akutagawa moaned around the fingers inside his mouth. Warm lips stretched over the head of his cock and he let his own hands drop down to fall at his sides.
The younger man slowly worked him in deeper, little by little until he couldn't help but gag. He pulled back until the tip of Akutagawa's dick was barely pressed against his lips before sinking back down again as far as he could manage. He continued the motion again and again until Akutagawa was a panting mess above him.
He shoved another finger into Akutagawa's mouth to try and stifle the sounds he was making, a solution that only worked for approximately five seconds. He quickly changed tactics and simply clasped his hand over Akutagawa's lips once more, which made him groan and jerk his hips.
"You like that, don't you?" Atsushi mused aloud, pumping his cock with a spit-slick hand. His lips were shiny and pink, and Akutagawa struggled to keep his eyes open. He answered with a quick nod and a quiet whimper, and inhaled sharply through his nose when Atsushi suddenly picked up his pace.
"You like me in control. You want me to rough you up a little," Atsushi goaded, and god his voice sounded menacing. It was so fucking hot, Akutagawa thought he might burn up from the inside out.
The hand on his mouth slipped down to wrap around his throat, and Akutagawa reflexively reached up to grab Atsushi's wrist.
"Do you trust me?" Atsushi asked him, so quietly that he had to strain to hear it.
Rashomon slowly coiled around Akutagawa's arm like a snake and he continued to hold on, though he didn't try to pull his hand away. They both stopped moving and simply stared into each other's eyes.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, but Akutagawa didn't have an answer for him. His lips parted and he hoped he could come up with something to say, but nothing would come to mind. He was nervous and confused and excited, and he didn't know what the right answer was. It felt dangerous, having Atsushi's palm pressed against his windpipe.
"Akutagawa," he said, a little louder this time. The pressure on his neck increased, and he could feel his cock twitch in Atsushi's hand in response. "Answer me."
"D-don't stop," he whispered breathlessly.
Atsushi began stroking him again, hard and fast, and he couldn't help but jerk his hips and arch his back. Atsushi's grip was perfect, his rhythm was perfect, and his legs were beginning to shake. He squeezed Atsushi's forearm tighter, hanging on for dear life, and in turn he pressed against his throat a little more. He could barely breathe, and any sounds that he wanted to make were unable to escape. It was exhilarating.
"I wish I could hear you cum," Atsushi murmured in a voice that was utterly indecent. "But if I take my hand off your throat the entire building would hear you too." He seemed to think about something for a moment, and a sly grin spread across his face. "Hm. Maybe I should let them."
Akutagawa shut his eyes tightly and his muscles spasmed as he came. He could feel the warmth of it splattering over his stomach as Atsushi stroked him through it, and then some, until he couldn't take it anymore.
The hand on his neck was gone, quickly replaced with Atsushi's tongue. He was back on top of him, not caring about the mess that was now smeared between them, and he pressed his legs tightly against either side of Atsushi's waist. Akutagawa wasn't aware that he'd been making needy little sounds in the back of his throat until Atsushi pulled him into a kiss and took his lower lip between his teeth. He bit down gently, and the small spark of pain made him jolt.
"That was better than I imagined," said Atsushi with a satisfied smile.
"You imagined this?" he asked when he finally found his voice.
"I did," he replied with a laugh before peppering his cheeks with small kisses.
"What... what else did you imagine?"
Atsushi pulled back to look at him, and his face was red.
"I've imagined all sorts of things. I'm very creative."
Akutagawa found himself smiling as well. The other man's energy was contagious. He reached a hand up and placed it against the side of Atsushi's face, and he realized he'd barely touched him all evening. He hoped to rectify that.
"Oh? Like what?"
To his surprise, Atsushi seemed almost embarrassed. He turned his gaze away for a moment as he chuckled to himself and shook his head.
"Well," he said, taking a deep breath. "I've imagined you... on your knees..." Atsushi's eyes flicked back to meet his own, and he licked his lips. "I've imagined you sucking my cock..." He leaned in closer, pressing their foreheads together. "I've imagined holding you against a wall... bending you over a table... tying you to a bed... Fucking you."
Akutagawa gasped, and Atsushi took the opportunity to kiss him deeply. He squeezed his thighs together and tangled his fingers into Atsushi's hair. It was even softer than it looked.
He could feel the outline of Atsushi's hard length as it pressed against him, still trapped inside his pants. He quickly reached down between them to palm him through the fabric, and Atsushi groaned.
"I see," Akutagawa said breathlessly against his lips. "Why don't we start with the first one?"
"Are you sure?" he asked softly.
"Jinko, I'm offering to put your dick in my mouth. Are you trying to talk me out of it?"
Atsushi huffed out a laugh against his cheek.
"Of course not. I'm just... making sure."
"On my knees, right?"
His answer was a long, drawn out moan.
Akutagawa carefully began extracting himself from beneath the other man. He tugged his pants back up so he wouldn't get too tangled up in them, and eventually closed the short distance from the couch to the floor. He pressed a hand to Atsushi's chest and gave him a gentle push, guiding him back into a sitting position. He then settled himself in between his long legs and ran a hand up each thigh, squeezing lightly.
"Take these off," he said, tugging at the belt loops.
Atsushi nodded quickly and unfastened his pants. He wasted no time in shoving them down below his hips, and Akutagawa helped pull them the rest of the way down to his ankles. He was wearing navy blue underwear made of soft cotton.
Akutagawa tilted his head down and pressed a kiss against the outline of his length. He mouthed at it gently, feeling the way it pulsed beneath his lips, and he couldn't help but grin at the quiet sigh from above.
He slipped his fingers into the elastic waistband and slowly dragged them down until Atsushi's dick sprang free. It was hard and glossy at the tip, and he sucked at it lightly.
Atsushi's head fell back and he threaded his fingers through Akutagawa's hair. His touch was slow and tender, and he made a pleased sound as he parted his legs ever so slightly.
Akutagawa leisurely slid the pad of his thumb up and down the underside of Atsushi's cock, mimicking the pace. He wasn't quite sure what Atsushi liked, but he felt calm and content with the other man's delicate fingertips drawing soothing circles at the base of his skull. He sank down lower, pressing his tongue flat as he did so, and Atsushi shuddered beneath him. He slipped his free hand up under the younger man's shirt and dragged his blunt fingernails over his skin.
Atsushi was different.
There was no sense of urgency in his movements or in the sounds that he was making. He wasn't bucking his hips or tugging at his hair, and all that big authoritative talk was nowhere to be found. He seemed happy to simply sit there and take whatever was offered to him, and Akutagawa found it rather endearing. He wondered if Atsushi was actually very dominating at all, or if it was all just for him.
He dipped his head even lower still, taking as much into his mouth as he could manage without gagging. He took his time, and Atsushi didn't seem to mind.
He moved the hand that had been stroking the base of his cock to softly fondle his balls. He flicked his tongue back and forth as he bobbed his head, letting it slide out of his mouth completely before stretching his lips back over the tip and repeating the motion. He could feel Atsushi's muscles relax and contract beneath his palm each time the tip of his cock slipped past the seam of his lips. He squeezed, and Atsushi shivered, finally thrusting his hips forward to chase the sensation. Akutagawa continued to focus his attention at the head, circling his tongue and hollowing his cheeks. He loved the way it made Atsushi's legs shake and his breath hitch.
He reached back and took one of Atsushi's hands in his own to move it into his hair, guiding him to grab a handful in his fist. The younger man gasped and tugged lightly, and Akutagawa hummed his approval.
The vibration forced a moan from Atsushi's lips and his grip tightened. He wrapped both of his hands around the back of his head, tangled his fingers through the dark locks and pulled. Akutagawa pressed his crotch firmly against the couch to relieve the sudden spark of pleasure that had gone straight to his dick.
He groaned around the cock in his mouth as Atsushi continued yanking at his hair. He was enjoying the sharp prickles of pain, and he especially loved the loss of control. Atsushi was rolling his hips more confidently now, shoving himself deeper, and his breaths were coming out loud and fast.
Akutagawa was suddenly very warm and very dazed. He felt almost feverish, overwhelmed by the new wave of arousal that washed over him once more. It hadn't been terribly long since he came, but he already felt that familiar need, that urgent desire that flowed across his nerves like lava.
The hands in his hair held him in place as Atsushi fucked into his mouth, and he couldn't help but shove a hand down his pants to start jerking himself off again. His movements were clumsy, but it didn't matter, he was so fucking turned on by the way Atsushi was using him.
"Already touching yourself again?" the younger man asked him. His voice was ragged and strained.
Akutagawa hummed his response and Atsushi whined. His legs trembled and his movements were becoming increasingly desperate. He wrenched Akutagawa forward by his hair and he snapped his hips up until he touched the back of his throat.
Akutagawa squeezed his eyes closed and dug his nails into Atsushi's thigh. He felt his chest tighten and he held his breath as he tried to ignore the sharp pain constricting around his lungs. He let him continue fucking his mouth, these fits were sometimes avoidable when he didn't breathe, but it was beginning to make him feel lightheaded.
He took his hand out of his pants and grabbed onto Atsushi's knee. He felt a hot tear stream down his cheek, and he finally pulled away. He took in a reluctant breath of air that felt like fire in his lungs, and he couldn't stop himself from coughing.
He pressed his forehead against Atsushi's thigh and felt his face heat from embarrassment. The hands in his hair softened, petting lightly instead of pulling, and he hated the way his frail shoulders quaked from the effort of trying to breathe. It sounded like he was suffocating, and he tightened his fingers around Atsushi's legs.
"You okay?" Atsushi asked him when he finally stopped, and he cringed.
"I'm fine," he choked out, sounding very not fine at all.
"Are you sure?" he asked again, and Akutagawa could feel the anger creeping in. Everything had been going so well. Of course he would do something to ruin it.
"Yeah," he repeated, finally sitting back on his heels and letting his hair fall in front of his face. He didn't want to look at Atsushi, didn't want to see his big sad eyes staring down at him, tracing the wet lines on his cheeks. He didn't want him to pity his fragile body and wonder why he'd invited him here in the first place.
He stared pointedly at a spot on the cushion and wondered what the fuck he was supposed to do now.
"Want to come back up here?"
Akutagawa continued glaring and worried at his lip. He didn't know what he wanted.
A soft hand was suddenly on his cheek, and he startled. Atsushi's warm palm pressed against his jaw and he wiped away the tears with the pad of his thumb. Akutagawa's eyes stung and his vision was blurry.
"Come on," Atsushi beckoned, and Akutagawa finally looked up to find him smiling warmly.
"Alright," he said quietly, allowing the other man to take his hands in his own. He stood on shaky legs and let Atsushi pull him into his lap.
"Do you want to keep going?" he asked, nuzzling his face into Akutagawa's neck. His breath was warm and comforting.
"Does that mean I didn't totally ruin the mood?" he replied with a self deprecating chuckle.
"You most certainly did not," Atsushi assured him before pressing a kiss to his lips.
Akutagawa let himself melt into it. Atsushi reached up to push the hair from face, and he let his thumb glide back and forth over his cheek. The gentle movement was soothing, and he relaxed against Atsushi's chest. He opened his mouth and allowed him to slip his tongue inside, and he laced their fingers together.
They stayed just like that for a while, leisurely kissing one another until his heart slowed down to a normal pace. Atsushi twirled his fingers through the long pieces of hair that framed Akutagawa's face, and his lungs finally stopped protesting against him.
Atsushi let go of his hand to casually tuck it into Akutagawa's waistband. He pushed down gently, asking for permission, and Akutagawa lifted his hips.
They both quickly kicked off their pants, and Akutagawa sighed as he straddled him. He was warm and soft, and he loved the feel of the man's bare skin against his own. He looped his arms around the back of Atsushi's neck, who leaned forward to press a kiss against his chest.
"So," Atsushi said nonchalantly before flicking his tongue over Akutagawa's nipple, making him hiss. "It feels like you're still hard for me." Atsushi reached down to stroke him languidly, and Akutagawa's head fell back. "Would you like me to bend you over the table, then?"
Akutagawa's mouth fell open, surprised by how quickly the other man could get him so worked up. Atsushi scraped his teeth over his skin and his eyes fluttered shut.
"Or maybe up against the wall? You seemed pretty into it at the warehouse. Would you like to try that?"
A little whine sneaked past his lips, and he could feel his cock twitch in Atsushi's hand.
"Yes," he said quickly.
"It's too bad I don't have anything to tie you up with," Atsushi murmured between open mouthed kisses. "I guess I'll just have to hold you extra tight."
"Please," Akutagawa found himself saying. His head was spinning, and the other man's tongue was incredibly distracting.
"Just wait here for me, okay?"
Akutagawa nodded and Atsushi slipped out from under him to grab something from the other room.
He sat on the couch awkwardly and listened to the sounds of a drawer opening and closing. The longer he was alone, the more anxious he felt, and he wrapped his coat tightly around himself. He settled back into the cushions and tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling.
This is not how he expected the night to go.
What the fuck was he doing?
"Got it," said Atsushi in a singsong voice when he came back into the room. He stood behind the couch and glanced down at Akutagawa with a smile.
He looked very handsome.
Atsushi leaned forward and pressed their lips together softly. It was awkward to kiss someone upside down but there was something oddly sweet about it, or at least he thought so until deft fingers snaked around his neck. The simple movement made his cock jerk, and the light pressure against his throat spun the gesture from cute to erotic in two seconds flat.
"Turn around," Atsushi whispered against his lips, and Akutagawa moved without thinking. He was suddenly on his knees with his elbows propped up on the back of the couch. "Good boy," he added, and Akutagawa could barely stop himself from whimpering.
Atsushi eyed him like a predator as he circled around and Akutagawa held his breath. Warm hands sneaked under his coat to press against the backs of his thighs. The younger man dragged his palms up until they reached his ass, and he gave it a playful squeeze.
Akutagawa let his head drop down between his arms until his face was pressed against the cushion. Atsushi was teasing him, gently kneading the skin under his fingertips with barely any pressure at all. Every now and then he let his thumb slide down to brush against his balls or dip further into the cleft of his ass, and each time it felt like someone had punched the air right out of him. Every movement he made caused the hem of his coat to sweep against the back of his calves, and it felt oddly thrilling to be touched like that despite still wearing half of his clothes.
"Can I fuck you, Ryūnosuke?" Atsushi purred into his ear, and he unconsciously arched his back.
"Yeah," he replied breathlessly, voice muffled against the couch.
Atsushi's hands were suddenly gone, busy flipping the cap open on a container of lubricant, and Akutagawa tried his best to calm down. His heart was stuttering in his chest and his hands clenched around the fabric of the worn cushion as he waited.
It didn't take long for Atsushi's fingers to return, this time cool and slick. Akutagawa shivered as they delicately pressed against his hole, tenderly circling in unhurried movements.
Atsushi Nakajima is going to fuck me.
He let out a shuddering breath as Atsushi slowly began working him open. He was being extraordinarily gentle, as though he could break apart at any moment, and Akutagawa wondered if he just might.
His dick twitched with each slow slide of Atsushi's fingers, and every time it bobbed up and down it grazed the cushion softly. The feather light touches against the sensitive head of his cock were driving him wild, and he clenched his jaw to keep from shamelessly bucking against it.
Once Atsushi was satisfied with how easily Akutagawa was opening up for him he added a second finger. He twisted them around and curled them just right, and Akutagawa groaned. Atsushi pressed down softly against the small of his back as he did so and Akutagawa inched his legs further apart.
Akutagawa wasn't sure how long Atsushi had been fingering him for, but his cock had been dripping for quite some time. A third finger had joined the others at some point but he was too far gone to have noticed when, and he was aching for friction. All he knew was that Atsushi had been pressing against his prostate with exceptional precision for what felt like an eternity, moving at an excruciatingly slow pace.
When Atsushi finally pulled out of him he practically convulsed. His hips jerked on their own accord and he dug his nails into the couch. All of the muscles in his body were suddenly drawn taut, and he breathed heavily into the cushion.
Atsushi pushed his coat to the side and slicked himself up. He pressed his length between Akutagawa's cheeks, drawing it all the way up until the tip laid against the small of his back before dragging it back down again to settle between his thighs. He rolled his hips forward to slide it under Akutagawa's balls.
"Please," Akutagawa whimpered, clenching around nothing. He couldn't keep himself from writhing beneath Atsushi's grip, desperately pushing back against him.
The word had barely made it past his lips before there was a hand in his hair yanking his head back.
"Please what?" Atsushi growled, and Akutagawa's mouth hung open. The younger man had switched from doting to dominating so many times that it was giving him whiplash.
"Fuck me, Jinko. Just like you imagined."
Atsushi sucked in a breath behind him. The hand in his hair was gone, latched tightly onto one of his hips instead. He used the other to line himself up.
He pressed inside with one long stroke and Akutagawa slumped forward onto the back of the couch. He felt so warm, so full, and he used the cushion to stifle his moans. Atsushi pushed into him with shallow thrusts, giving him time to adjust, but he didn't want time. He wanted more.
"Come on, Jinko," he groaned into the fabric. "Hurt me a little."
The younger man made a choked off noise and grabbed a fistful of his coat. He bunched it up at his lower back and tugged on it, using it as leverage to pull Akutagawa backward onto his dick.
Whatever Akutagawa had expected him to do, that most certainly was not it, and he was surprised that he managed not to cum on the spot. Each snap of Atsushi's hips shoved his small body forward just to be yanked back a moment later. His greatest weapon was being used like a leash.
"F-fuck," he choked out after a particularly hard thrust. He realized he'd been cursing to himself, the words being fucked out of him one by one, and there was nothing he could do to stop them. He brought a hand to his mouth and bit down on his knuckle, tried to distract himself with the pain, but it was no use.
Atsushi's free hand was suddenly grabbing at his collar, pulling him back, and he found himself pressed flush against his chest.
"So loud," Atsushi teased, nipping at his ear. "At this rate the whole neighborhood will hear you."
Akutagawa's head lolled back to rest on Atsushi's shoulder. He could barely hold himself upright, but he didn't really need to. The man behind him was doing all the work.
"I'd shut you up myself but I'm running out of hands," he added with an airy laugh, tightening his grip on Akutagawa's coat as he continued fucking up into him.
He felt like a ragdoll, hands scrabbling for purchase on the couch, on Atsushi's thighs, on anything he could get ahold of. Every thrust forced some obscene noise out of him and he shut his eyes tightly.
He wasn't sure what had come over him but he could feel the hard press of Tenma Tengai begin to coil up his chest and around his throat, settling over his nose and mouth to stifle the sound.
Atsushi's movements came to a sudden halt and Akutagawa's eyes snapped open. His arms fell limply at his sides and he immediately felt worried that he'd done something wrong. He was about to recall his ability when Atsushi made a pained sound behind him.
"S-sorry," he said, digging his fingers into Akutagawa's hipbones. His heart was pounding so hard that Akutagawa could feel it. "That was... that was just really sexy, I'm sorry, just... just give me a second," Atsushi stuttered. Akutagawa felt his face heat up at the realization that the younger man was trying not to cum. He huffed out a shaky breath against his cheek, and he could feel his cock throbbing inside him.
"Can you stand?" Atsushi asked him finally, and he nodded.
He slid out of him slowly, and Akutagawa winced. His coat cascaded over his backside and Atsushi wrapped his arms around his slender waist to help pull him to his feet. His limbs felt like jelly and he swayed on the spot, but Atsushi made sure he didn't stumble. He slowly turned around to face him, and he was surprised by the sight.
His cheeks were a lovely shade of pink. The rosy hue stretched over the bridge of his nose and to the tips of his ears, and his neck and forehead were shiny with sweat. His eyes were half closed, pupils blown wide, and he appeared completely dazed. Atsushi grabbed him by his lapels and leaned in close to his face. His gaze flicked down to the black fabric that stretched tightly over his mouth, and he looked absolutely ravenous.
"This way," he murmured, pulling him along until they reached the wall facing his bedroom. He pushed Akutagawa against it and then took a few steps back.
Despite being partially clad in demon armor he still felt terribly exposed. Aside from the strips that crisscrossed over his chest and up his neck, his coat hung completely open at the front. His pants had long been discarded and his cock stood at full attention. He wanted to hide himself, to pull the fabric back together like a cocoon, but Atsushi's hungry stare had him frozen in place.
"Gorgeous," Atsushi whispered, awestruck.
Akutagawa's eyes widened. He had not been expecting that.
Atsushi stepped back into his space and reached forward to wrap his fingers around his cock. Akutagawa's head hit the wall behind him and his legs shook from the effort of simply holding himself up.
"I've gotta say, this is a very innovative use of your ability," he said with an impish grin. "So many possibilities." He leaned in, and his lips ghosted over the black strips that knitted over his mouth. Akutagawa wanted to kiss him but he knew he wouldn't be able to keep it together, so they wound more tightly instead.
"I'm going to fuck you against this wall, Ryūnosuke," he continued, and his lips brushed against his mask as he spoke. "You want me to hurt you a little?"
Much to his embarrassment, Akutagawa heard himself make a shrill keening noise in the back of his throat.
"I'm going to take that as a yes."
In one fluid motion Atsushi spun him around and pinned both of his arms behind his back. Akutagawa's cheek was slammed roughly against the wall and he groaned.
"Fucking masochist," Atsushi whispered against his ear and then kicked his legs apart. He shoved Akutagawa's coat out of the way and slid back into him with ease.
Akutagawa wanted to curse and yell but the noise was dampened within the confines of his mask. All that came out were strangled, frustrated sounds, and he squirmed against the other man's hold. He tried his best not to fall to his knees but it was hard to stay upright with his arms wrenched behind his back. Atsushi must have realized this because his hands were suddenly planted against the wall on either side of his head.
"Look at you," Atsushi growled, pounding into him with a quick and steady rhythm. "You can't even fucking stand."
Akutagawa couldn't answer him, couldn't do anything but grunt and groan and scrabble uselessly against the wall. He dropped his head between his arms and sank down lower, bowing his spine and pressing his ass back to meet Atsushi's hips.
He raised his hands above his head and shivered at the feeling of black tendrils snaking up and over his wrists to bind them in place. He could feel Atsushi's dick throb inside him and his rhythm faltered. He was the one being fucked against the wall, he was the one being manhandled and used, but he did that. He was slowly stripping away at Atsushi's composure because Atsushi was attracted to him. The man's fingertips dug harder into his hipbones as he clearly struggled to regain the pace that he had set, trying to hold out a little longer.
"Should I touch you, or do you want to cum like this?" Atsushi asked, voice straining. "Oh, right," he added with a snicker. "You can't answer. I guess I'll just decide for you."
Atsushi reached around him and Akutagawa was almost relieved, but instead of taking his length in his fist he decided to barely touch him. Two fingers lightly brushed the underside of his cock while his thumb ghosted over the head. He whined and thrashed in Atsushi's grip desperately but the man refused to appease him. His movements were too gentle, too delicate in contrast with the way he was slamming into him, and he was sure he was going to lose his mind.
He barely noticed that he had slid further down on the wall in front of him, slumped forward limply as Atsushi continued to relentlessly tease him. Any further and he'd be bent in fucking half, though he wasn't quite sure he was flexible enough for that.
"Can I cum in you?" Atsushi asked through gritted teeth and he quickly nodded, yes.
Please.
The hand that was toying with his cock finally wrapped around it fully and Akutagawa couldn't think, couldn't breathe. Every muscle in his body contracted at once in anticipation, he was so close.
"So good," Atsushi muttered behind him, fucking into him harder, faster. The hand on his hip lunged forward and grabbed at the back of his hair, whipping his head back, and Akutagawa yelped. The force of it nearly knocked him to the ground but he managed to barely hold himself up on his forearms. Tears pricked at his eyes and everything ached in the best way possible. He was so close.
Atsushi jerked him off faster, moving in perfect tandem with his thrusts, and Akutagawa's eyes rolled back in his head. Rashomon was digging into his wrists and tightening around his throat, and he was so close.
"Ah-Ryū," Atsushi choked out as he came inside him. Akutagawa's legs shook and he screamed, barely cognizant enough to be thankful for the fabric sealing his lips. Atsushi continued pumping into him and he felt so full and hot and wet. It felt crude and vulgar and obscene and he fucking loved it. It was enough to tip him over the edge, spilling over Atsushi's fingers and coating the wall in front of him. He was shivering, each hard stroke making his muscles spasm fiercely. His throat felt raw from shouting muffled curses and Atsushi was still going.
He pulled all the way out and then snapped his hips forward, and Akutagawa could feel Atsushi's cum dripping down his thighs as he pushed back in again. He repeated the motion over and over, and the squelching noise it made was absolutely filthy. His thumb flicked over the oversensitive head of Akutagawa's cock and he continued sliding his hand up and down, using his cum as lubricant. Atsushi pulled out of him, and before Akutagawa could process what was happening there were two fingers shoved back inside, slamming right against his prostate.
Akutagawa scratched his nails against the wall in front of him and tugged at the bindings around his wrists as he thrashed about. His limbs weren't working the way they were supposed to and he slid down to the ground and onto his knees. He couldn't tell if he wanted to pull away or push back against him, and he let his head fall between his arms. His forehead was touching the floor and his ass was in the air, and he flushed completely red. He squeezed his eyes shut and he was pretty sure he felt tears streaming down his cheeks, soaking into the fabric that was still wrapped tight, dampening the overwhelmed noises he was making.
"Come for me again, Ryūnosuke," Atsushi hissed.
It was so much, so much, he'd never felt anything like it before. The hand that was on his cock moved to wrap around his waist, holding his writhing hips firmly in place, and god, Atsushi was still going. It was so much all at once and he slammed his fist against the ground. His legs spread wider on their own accord and he couldn't even focus enough to feel embarrassed about it. He was convulsing now, digging his nails into his palms until it hurt.
"I know you can do it. Come for me, just from my fingers."
Akutagawa couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't. He couldn't.
"Come on, sweetheart."
Akutagawa's vision whited out.
The constricting mask disappeared from his face and his bindings fell from his wrists. Atsushi pulled him against his chest where he fell back limply and sucked in a deep breath. Atsushi's arms wrapped tightly around his middle, holding him steady while he tried to stop panting, and Akutagawa found his hands and laced their fingers together.
"You alright?" Atsushi asked softly when he eventually managed to catch his breath.
"Yeah," he replied, no longer caring or trying to hide how broken his voice sounded. He squeezed a little tighter and rested his head back on Atsushi's shoulder with a long sigh.
"Good," he said, and pressed a kiss to his temple. It was tender and sweet, and it made his chest tighten and his stomach flutter. Akutagawa turned his head and their eyes found one other. Atsushi's were bright and dazzling, though a little sleepy, and he smiled.
"I'm glad you decided to stop by," Atsushi said with a small chuckle. "I didn't think you were going to. You ignored me for two weeks."
"Yeah, well..." Akutagawa started, but realized he didn't know what to say.
"You were embarrassed," Atsushi finished for him.
"No I wasn't," he grumbled, and he could feel the other man's chest vibrate as he laughed.
"Yes you were. I thought you were going to shake right out of your skin."
"Shut up, Jinko."
"Not my name," he murmured against his ear, giving it a gentle bite.
Akutagawa gasped and shuddered, and Atsushi caught his mouth in a kiss.
"I've got the place to myself for a few days," he said quietly against his lips. "If you want to stay."
Akutagawa thought about it for a moment. He knew it was a bad idea. Terrible, really. He shouldn't have even come here in the first place, and he absolutely, positively, should not have slept with the enemy.
"Okay," he said.
He could feel Atsushi smile against his mouth, and he found himself doing the same.
"Did I do too much?"
Atsushi was standing behind him, chin delicately resting on top of his shoulder. His features slowly began to blur from the steam that clung to the mirror, but Akutagawa could see that he was smiling.
"No," he replied, eyeing the angry red marks and bruises that were scattered across his skin. "I... I like them," he added softly, pleased to be able to blame his blush on the rising temperature in the room. He wasn't sure why he felt so shy about it anyway, after everything they'd just done.
After getting fucked up against a wall by Atsushi Nakajima.
Atsushi's bathroom was small, a simple little space with a single sink and a shower stall. They stood together in front of the smudged mirror while they waited for the water to heat up, and Akutagawa studied each scratch and bite, trying to commit them to memory. They stood out brightly against his pale complexion, but none extended beyond the line of his collar.
Easily hidden away. Their little secret.
His coat hung from a metal hook on the back of the door and he was feeling very exposed, but the heat from Atsushi's body as it pressed against his bare skin was enough of a distraction to keep himself from overthinking it.
"I'm really glad you came tonight," Atsushi said quietly, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"You already said that," he answered with a small chuckle.
"I know." Atsushi smiled brightly back at him. "It was worth saying twice."
Akutagawa clenched his jaw. The man behind him was being so sickly sweet that he wasn't sure how to handle it. He wondered where they were supposed to go from here.
Atsushi was nice. He was full of surprises for sure, dominant and bold in a way that he never would have imagined, but he was also cautious. Affectionate. He made Akutagawa feel safe even when he thought he might pass out from his nerves. He seemed to know exactly what Akutagawa needed, even when he didn't realize it himself.
He thought of all those stupid little things Atsushi did that drove him up the wall, the things that had made him so frustrated, like speaking with his mouth full of custard taiyaki from the tiny shop that Akutagawa had introduced him to. Atsushi could never quite remember its location, so he would simply sigh and say 'follow me, Jinko' because he secretly liked to see his eyes light up when they got close enough to smell the warm sugar in the air.
He wondered when he was finally going to admit it to himself.
"There we go." Atsushi's hand was inside the shower stall, testing the water. "After you," he said with a wink, and it made Akutagawa's heart flutter.
He stepped in and sighed. The hot water cascaded over his shoulders and the steam filled his lungs. It was warm and comfortable, a welcome treat at the end of a long day.
He held his hands out for Atsushi to take. It would be quite cramped but he didn't care. He wanted the other man close to him.
Atsushi smiled brightly and wrapped his arms around his waist. The heat made his skin flush a lovely shade of pink. His eyes sparkled, vibrant purple and gold through the mist, and Akutagawa thought he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Atsushi leaned forward and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"Don't make fun of me, alright?" Atsushi mumbled against his skin.
"Hm?" he asked, feeling sleepy.
He peeked his eyes open to see Atsushi holding up a mangled looking bar of soap.
"Really, Jinko?"
"Look, if I'd known you'd be taking a shower with me tonight I would have gone out and bought something fancier."
"Doesn't Kyōka have anything?"
Atsushi was staring at him like he'd grown an extra head.
"I can't just use her stuff!" he sputtered, and Akutagawa couldn't help but laugh.
"Maybe you can't," he said with a grin, and then reached over to pick up a pretty bottle filled with pink liquid. He popped open the cap, and the room quickly filled with the lovely aroma of cherry blossoms. "Enjoy that," he added, eyeing the sad bar of soap.
Atsushi's room was small and mostly empty. Akutagawa looked around as he fluffed his hair with a worn towel, and he held out his hand for a pair of sweatpants that were being tossed in his direction. They were made of soft grey cotton, and he slipped them on.
"Those look good on you," he said, and Akutagawa blushed.
Atsushi slid open his closet door to begin pulling out his futon, and Akutagawa tilted his head curiously.
"Some people like getting smacked around," the younger man said, glancing over his shoulder. "And some people like sleeping in closets. Don't think too much about it."
Akutagawa gave him a quick nod.
"Alright," he said simply, and waited for Atsushi to finish setting it up. He didn't ask any questions, and he didn't want to. The other man was sharing his vulnerability with him, as he had done so with his own earlier, and it felt significant.
When Atsushi was finished and had flicked off the light Akutagawa climbed beneath the covers with him. The sun had long since gone down and the dorm felt chilly after stepping out of the hot shower, so they quickly pulled the blankets up to their chins. They both laid on their backs, sides pressed together in the center of the futon, and stared up at the dark ceiling. Atsushi's fingers carefully found his own.
"You smell nice," Atsushi said, turning his head to face him.
"I know," he replied. "You smell like cheap soap."
"Jerk," Atsushi chuckled, elbowing him in the ribs.
"I'll bring you something nicer next time," he said with a grin, and then clenched his jaw.
Next time. The words slipped out so easily. He suddenly felt very anxious.
"Hey," Atsushi said softly, turning on his side to fully face him. "You okay? You feel really tense all of a sudden."
"Yeah," he answered too quickly, and chewed his lip.
"That was really convincing."
Akutagawa could practically hear him rolling his eyes.
"Talk to me, Ryūnosuke."
He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath, and his grip on the other man's hand tightened.
"Is this..." Akutagawa mumbled under his breath. "I-is this... um... a one time..."
His voice sounded wobbly and he bit down on the inside of his cheek. He felt stupid and pathetic, and his heart thumped hard in his chest.
Next time.
What if Atsushi didn't want a next time? What if he came to his senses in the morning and realized what a horrible idea this had been? What if someone found out?
What if they already knew? Did Atsushi tell Dazai that they were meeting tonight? Did Dazai already figure it out?
Did Dazai put him up to this?
Why was he always thinking about fucking Dazai?
"Ryū?"
Akutagawa realized that he was breathing quite hard. Atsushi's hands were suddenly on his cheeks, tilting his head until they were looking into each other's eyes. He seemed concerned.
"What?" Akutagawa said softly. He belatedly noticed that his vision was blurry.
"What's wrong? I couldn't understand what you were saying."
"It's nothing," he said in a completely unconvincing manner. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes, threatening to spill out onto Atsushi's fingertips. He wanted to look away, to cover his face in his hands, but the other man was right there in front of him and there was nowhere to hide.
"Did I do something wrong?" Atsushi asked quietly. His voice sounded sad. Not just sad, but heartbroken, and Akutagawa sucked in a breath.
"Why did you invite me here tonight?" Akutagawa finally said, trying his best not to sound so pitiful and failing miserably.
"Because I wanted to see you."
"Why?"
"Because I hadn't seen you for two weeks."
"So?"
Atsushi made and exasperated sound and shook his head.
"What do you mean 'so?' I like spending time with you. Is that so crazy?"
"Yes," Akutagawa replied, sounding angrier than he meant to. He couldn't help it, he was nervous and insecure, and nothing about Atsushi's apparent fondness for him made any sense to him at all.
An odd emotion seemed to flash over Atsushi's face. He expected him to be upset, to tell him to grab his things and leave. He expected him to tell him that this was a trick, or a mistake, or any number of horrible things that made more sense than Atsushi actually wanting him.
"I had a great time tonight," Atsushi said calmly, and Akutagawa held his breath. "I always have a great time with you, even when you're trying to kill me." He tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I don't know what's going on that's making you so upset, but I really hope it's not regret because that would really be a bummer for me."
"So this isn't a one time thing?" he blurted out.
"Man, I really hope not."
Akutagawa blinked very slowly and felt his lip quiver. His eyelashes were wet.
"Okay," he said. His voice cracked.
Atsushi's arms were around him immediately. He slipped his fingers into his hair, placed his hand firmly against the side of his jaw, and pressed their lips together into a soft kiss. There was no biting or battling for dominance. There was no frantic sense of urgency. It was slow, tender, and Akutagawa tried to pour into it all the things he couldn't seem to find the words for.
"I like you," Atsushi murmured into his mouth as he trailed his fingertips across the back of his neck. "You're arrogant and broody and you've literally tried to murder me a few times, but since we started working together I can't stop thinking about you," he said with a breathy laugh, and kissed his cheek. "You don't take shit from anyone and you're strong as hell. You're sexy and cool, but still adorably awkward. You're patient with me even when I fuck up the same things over and over again, and even though you get really mad sometimes I know you don't really mean it."
Atsushi hooked his leg over Akutagawa's waist and pulled him closer. He slid his thumb back and forth over the sharp line of his jaw and pressed their foreheads together.
"Oh," Akutagawa said quietly, unsure of what else to say. It was a lot to take in.
"You worry a lot for someone who acts so cocky," Atsushi teased. "I really am happy that you came over today. So please stop looking so sad."
Akutagawa turned on his side and tucked his head underneath Atsushi's chin where it was safe and warm. He let Atsushi smother him with his leg draped over his hip and an arm wrapped snugly around his back. He tucked his knee between Atsushi's thighs and let himself be held, nice and firm against the strong body in front of him, and he pressed his nose against his chest.
"Okay," he repeated, and Atsushi squeezed a little tighter.
"In the morning I'll make us some tea," Atsushi said softly as he carded his fingers through his hair. "I promise it'll be better than the one I made tonight, I was in a hurry when I made it... But anyway, if you want, I can make us some breakfast too. Or we could go somewhere if you'd rather do that, I'm not really the greatest cook... And then after that, maybe for dessert we could go get-"
"Custard taiyaki,"Akutagawa murmured against his skin and smiled.
Atsushi's body went rigid with surprise. It was quiet for a moment before Akutagawa could feel the vibration of a laugh building in his chest.
"I guess you do pay attention to me after all," Atsushi said.
"Of course I do. Stupid Jinko."
There was a delicate press of two fingertips underneath his chin, and he tilted his head up to see that Atsushi was looking down at him with a wide grin on his face.
"Then it's a date," he said and kissed the tip of his nose. "Goodnight, Ryūnosuke."
"Goodnight, Atsushi," he replied with a smile, and closed his eyes.