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Rebecca was always on time. Had always been punctual even when she was a child. She annoyed her parents when she thought they were going to be late. This carried on into her adulthood, though now she was early more often than on time. But either way she was never late. She wasn’t late for a meeting or for a lunch or for a class when she took them. Rebecca hadn’t been late for anything in twenty years.
So, why was her period two weeks late?
It has never been late before. Ever.
And then a thought creeps in.
She had been having mood swings lately. Snapped at Keeley and Ted for things that weren’t their fault. She gained a little bit of weight too. She was always getting headaches that she didn’t get before. And then there were the hot flushes, separately these didn’t add up to much. But put it all together and…
Rebecca was going through menopause.
Fuck.
Crying on her bathroom floor wasn’t on her agenda for today but her other plans are fucked so why not?
She thought that she had more time. That maybe- just maybe.
It probably wouldn’t have happened anyways. Because she was too busy with the club and there was Ted to consider. And he already had Henry and they weren’t bloody thirty anymore.
She just thought that there would be more time. Time to work out if another child was something Ted wanted. Time to figure out how to balance it all out with the club.
But it was too late.
Rebecca would never- there would never be-
Maybe Rupert was right, maybe she was never meant to be a mother. It certainly seems the universe thinks so.
Rebecca chokes on what could be a laugh or could be a cry. You know she’s losing it when she thinks Rupert is right.
Images of a small child flash behind Rebecca’s eyelids. They have her blonde hair, Ted’s brown eyes and some god awful mix of an English accent and a Kansas one. The image puts her somewhere halfway between happy and devastated.
It’s an hour later when Ted finds her.
Right, she was getting ready to meet with Ted before she broke down. This is really ruining her punctuality streak.
Rebecca could hear Ted’s voice carrying down from her front door but she didn’t reply. She needed those few seconds before he found her again.
‘Rebecca, are you-‘ Ted stops when he sees the state of her. Rebecca can see how his posture changes from slightly on edge to full blown panic.
‘Is it okay if I-‘
‘Please.’ Rebecca asks. They had been working on this for a while. Working out how to ask each other for help. How to offer help the other one needed. Working on how to share the weight on their shoulders. They were doing well, considering they were just on the edge of a year together.
Ted comes to slowly sit on the floor with her. He’s looking at her with such concern and Rebecca doesn’t know what to do with that, even though it’s been nearly a whole year.
Ted wraps an arm around and runs a hand up and down her back. Rebecca leans her whole wait on Ted and tries to take a deep breath.
It’s another half hour before Ted asks her what’s going on. She stumbles over the answer, it’s comes out in sniffles and broken sentences.
And Ted- Ted is steady throughout the whole conversation, never faulting in soothing her. Even though she’s discussing things they’ve never even really talked about before. He’s wonderful and kind and patient and everything that makes Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso. Rebecca can’t help but feel like she doesn’t deserve it. Because she’s being a mess, a messier mess than usual. But Ted’s looking at her and he’s telling her that he wants to take care of her and she’s not strong enough to push him away.
‘Should you go to the doctor? Figure out your options?’ Ted says once Rebecca’s done talking. She nods silently, leaning on him for his strength.
‘I’ll support whatever decision you make, darlin’.’ Ted presses a kiss to the side of her head. She doesn’t feel great but she feels a little better knowing that she has Ted on her side.
Her doctor’s appointment is three days later, it feels too far away. But it also feels too close. Feels too quick to have confirmed what she already knows.
The appointment surprises her. The doctor isn’t a hundred percent sure that it’s menopause, there’s a small chance that she could be-
They’re running some tests.
Rebecca doesn’t tell Ted about it, about the chance she’s pregnant. She’s not thinking about it. Because she would hope, would believe and she’s not strong enough for when it crushes her. It’s the hope that kills you. So she’s not telling Ted about it because there’s nothing to hope for. Just a few tests that are going to tell her things she already knows.
The results come in six days later. They ask her to make another appointment to see them. She doesn’t really get the point of going in. All it does is delay the inevitable.
Ted offers to go with her but she asks him to meet her at home afterwards. She’ll need a moment to collect herself before she can accept his affections. He accepts her answer with a squeeze of her hand and a soft:
‘Okay, sweetheart.’
The results… aren’t what she was expecting. Not even a little.
‘Well, Ms. Welton. I have good news. You are not menopausal like you thought. You're pregnant.’ Dr. Smith says, looking up from her computer.
Rebecca is pretty sure her brain shuts down right then and there.
Because, yes she wanted this, but just because you want something doesn’t mean you're ready to actually do it.
‘Are… are you sure?’ Rebecca asks after the silence has gone on too long. She has to be sure that this is real before she can get attached to the idea. The idea that she has a baby.
‘Hundred percent certain.’ Dr. Smith smiles like she’s getting ready to talk Rebecca off a ledge. ( She’s starting to realise that yes, she definitely should’ve asked Ted to come with her.) But Rebecca exhales a steadying breath and tries to pull herself together.
As Dr. Smith is talking about logistics and more appointments she should be making, Rebecca lets herself feel happy. Lets the happiness take over, ignores the small snag of worry and lets herself enjoy this moment. A moment she never thought she would get to have. She fails to smother her radiant smile.
The appointment ends and Rebecca walks out with a list of specialists she should call. She gets into the car and wonders how she’s going to tell Ted. She won’t be able to keep it to herself. Not when he’s waiting at her flat, ready to put all of her broken pieces back together.
She walked in the door, ready for whatever awaited her. ( It was most likely good because there wasn’t much, if anything, that wasn’t good about Ted Lasso.)
He was waiting for her in the kitchen, a little pink box not far from him. Her eyes catch on the box immediately. He’s never let her have biscuits outside of Biscuits with the Boss, no matter how many times she begged him to.
God, she loves him.
He turns at the sound of her, a hesitant smile on his face.
‘I bought you-‘ Rebecca goes for the biscuits as soon as he offers, not even letting him finish his sentence. She shoves a biscuit into her mouth.
She finishes the first one before she makes eye contact. He’s waiting for her to talk. Right, the whole reason he was offering the biscuits.
‘I think you should sit down, Ted.’ Rebecca encourages, he finds the nearest chair and sits. Rebecca swallows, hard, before speaking again.
‘I’m, I’m pregnant.’ She says, waiting for his reaction. She could see the smile he was trying to tamper down.
‘How are you feeling?’ Ted asks, looking down as he speaks.
‘Good, I’m feeling good,’ Ted lets his smile beam, ‘how are you feeling?’ She asks, even though she has an idea of what he’s feeling. He rushes out of the chair and sweeps her into a hug, pulling her as close as possible.
‘Holy heck, Rebecca, you’re pregnant.’ He breathes into her neck.
‘And that’s good?’ She double, triple checks.
‘Is that good? It’s better than good, great, amazing, fantastic! It’s better than…’ Ted pauses to think, ‘barbecue sauce!’ Ted exclaims. Rebecca laughs, letting all of her worries go. Ted beams at her before pulling her in closer for a kiss.
There are things to figure out, like how they’re going to manage the club and the baby and where they’re going to live and how everything will work. But they let themselves enjoy this moment. Allowing themselves to be pulled into the bubble of happiness.
They can deal with the details later, it won’t be too hard because it’s them. It's Ted and Rebecca, they can handle anything together. God knows they’ve dealt with worse things.
So Rebecca kisses Ted, confident in the knowledge she’s got everything she needs.