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It is a truth universally acknowledged that every boy group must have one designated Big Guy member. In some groups, this member only makes himself known after some time has passed. In other groups, some members may switch off ownership of this role. In other groups, this member is apparent from the start. But there’s always at least one, so from the time of his debut, Johnny knows very well that this is the role he is meant to play.
Responsibilities of the Big Guy member include, but are not limited to:
- Making oneself available to open jars, and reach plates on high shelves.
- Placing oneself next to smaller members for the viewing pleasure of their fans.
- Working out regularly to maintain Big Guy status.
- Being designated big spoon during questionably platonic and unquestionably not-platonic cuddle sessions at the dorm.
And Johnny loves it. Really, he does. He’s the sort of person who gives twice as much love as he gets, and taking care of the other members is something he has grown to enjoy—he thrives on it, even.
You’re like Clifford, his mom used to joke, threading her hands through his hair as he laid his head in her lap, long after he should have been considered too old for her to be doing such a thing. I loved you so much that your body simply grew to accommodate the breadth of my love. But you’ll always be little to me.
It’s been a grueling few months of promotion. Between promoting their repack and preparing for NCT 2021, Johnny feels dead on his feet most days. It’s not like he even has it the worst out of anyone, necessarily—that’d have to be Mark or Donghyuck, who haven’t had a day off since they debuted nearly six years ago. But being the designated Big Guy as well as one of the eldest members of the group comes with a whole host of (aforementioned) responsibilities, and Johnny is only human, and it’s difficult to feel as though he needs to be taking care of everyone else all the time when he hardly has the time to take care of himself.
On a particularly grueling day, he curls up in bed and waits for the clock to hit 11:00 PM, because 11:00 PM in Seoul is 8:00 AM in Chicago, and his mother does not get up before 8 unless strictly necessary. He dials a number he knows by heart and puts the call on speakerphone and waits for her voice to come through, all warmth and comfort.
“Johnny-yah,” she says playfully. Familiar sounds come through in the background—NPR playing on her old-fashioned radio (Johnny once tried to explain to her how she could download podcasts on her phone instead, and she had not been amenable to the idea), the thumping of his father’s footsteps in the background, probably getting ready for work. “You couldn’t even wait until your mother made her coffee before you called?”
“Sorry,” Johnny laughs, but there’s an edge to his voice that he knows she’ll be able to pick out immediately. “Hi, mom.”
Her voice is softer when she speaks up again. “Youngho,” she murmurs. Johnny suddenly feels fourteen years old and too small for his long-limbed body again. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, just tired. Will you tell me about your day?”
Jaehyun finds him like this thirty minutes later. He doesn’t say anything, presumably because Johnny’s mother is still on speakerphone and chattering away about the hottest gossip from her friends’ Zumba class. Quietly, he slips into bed behind Johnny and wraps an arm around his waist, tugs him close enough that he can brush his lips over the nape of his neck. It’s a familiar comfort, almost as much as Johnny’s head in his mothers lap used to be.
He smells like fresh laundry and the shampoo he and Johnny and the rest of the fifth floor share. Probably just got home from the gym; Johnny usually would’ve joined him, but he hadn’t felt particularly up to it today. “Uh-huh,” he says into the phone, just to demonstrate active listening, even as he cranes his neck back and seeks out Jaehyun’s mouth with his own. “Oh, really?”
“Yoonoh is there,” she says more than asks. “Isn’t he?”
Jaehyun presses one last lingering kiss to his lips, then leans forward. “Hi, Mrs. Suh.”
“My favorite boy,” she says, delighted, and Johnny tries and fails not to pout. “I can hear you pouting from all the way across the Pacific Ocean, Johnny. I can have two favorite boys, you know.”
“I’m not pouting,” Johnny lies.
“He’s pouting,” Jaehyun confirms, and Johnny doesn’t need to see his face to know he’s smiling. Traitor.
Her laugh is like a balm. It soothes half of his ache. Jaehyun, winding an arm around his waist, soothes the other half. “Of course he is,” she says. Her voice is low and fond. Johnny misses her immensely. So what if he’s a little bit of a mama’s boy? In NCT, a lot of them are. Half the Dream members come to mind. “I have some errands to run, so I’ll let you two go now. Yoonoh, you take care of my boy, alright?”
“I always do,” Jaehyun says. “Bye, Mrs. Suh.”
“I love you, Youngho,” she says, and to Johnny’s great embarrassment, makes kissy noises into the phone.
Johnny manages to get in a bye, love you, before the call drops. “Some days, I think she might be busier than I am.”
Jaehyun runs cold on a good day, and today he’s freezing, evidenced by the way he tucks his feet underneath Johnny’s legs for warmth. It’s a testament to Johnny’s love that he only flinches away from it a little. “These days? That’s doubtful.”
If they were normal people, maybe Jaehyun could say something like, it’ll be over soon, or after we make it through this week it’ll get easier. But they’re not normal people, and nothing about their jobs will be over soon (god willing), and no matter how many weeks go by, it never gets any easier. This is just the nature of their work. Johnny wouldn’t trade it for the world, but even he gets tired, too.
“Yeah,” he says to Jaehyun, and laces their fingers together. “I”m a little tired of it all, I guess.” It feels a little silly to be complaining, because it’s not as though Jaehyun is any less busy than he is.
I’m tired too, Jaehyun could say. Instead, he drops a kiss to the bare skin of Johnny’s shoulder where his shirt collar has slipped and says, “We should sleep. Some rest will do you good.”
“It’s only 11.”
“So?”
Johnny is still exhausted, but it doesn’t feel as unbearable when he has his boyfriend curled up against him and holding him close. “Okay,” he says. Jaehyun is right. He always knows what’s best for Johnny. He’s good at taking care of him like that. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” Jaehyun hums quietly, and Johnny’s entire body warms with those three words. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”
Against all odds, Johnny actually does feel better in the morning. A lot better. This holds true for an entire week. It’s not as though their schedules have gotten any lighter, so Johnny isn’t sure what has suddenly made everything seem so much… better, in a sense? Easier to handle?
He isn’t sure. But it probably has something to do with Jaehyun.
“Has Jae seemed different to you lately?” he asks Mark, one day.
“Huh?” Mark looks up from his phone with just about the dopiest grin Johnny’s ever seen on his face. “My bad, could you repeat that?”
Johnny wonders if he and Jaehyun were this bad during their initial honeymoon phase too, or if Mark is just particularly whipped. “I was just asking if you think Jaehyun’s been acting weird lately.”
Mark is still staring at his phone screen. If Johnny had to guess, he’d say Mark was about thirty seconds from kicking his feet in the air like a schoolgirl with a bad crush. “I dunno, dude. Not that I’ve noticed. He seems normal to me.”
Maybe Mark was the wrong person to ask. He might be a consummate professional, but between schedules it’s like the switch in his brain flips off and refuses to process anything that isn’t boyfriend related. “You know, if you want to see Renjun that badly, you could just go visit the dorms instead of looking at your phone like a lovesick idiot.”
“Man, forget you,” Mark mumbles, the tips of his ears bright red. “Focus on your boyfriend, not mine.”
That’s exactly what Johnny is trying to do. Jaehyun is always attentive, but it’s somehow different now. The difference in his behavior might be unnoticeable to anyone else, but Johnny isn’t just anyone else, Johnny is his boyfriend, and he is always looking at Jaehyun. Always. So of course he notices tiny changes where other people might not.
It starts with the little things.
(The irony of this is not lost on Johnny.)
Johnny goes to get a mug for his coffee in the morning, and Jaehyun says, how are you going to reach that, let me get it for you, baby, despite the fact that Johnny is perfectly capable of reaching the top shelf himself. Donghyuck asks Johnny to open a jar of chili oil for him and Jaehyun appears out of seemingly nowhere just to say, don’t worry, I got it, before Johnny can do so much as lift a finger.
It doesn’t stop at the jars, either, because Jaehyun becomes averse to letting Johnny open anything by himself. Doors seem to be the biggest offenders. Jaehyun holds open car doors with a guiding hand at the small of Johnny’s back, goes out of his way to hold doors open even when Johnny is lagging far behind the rest of the group and he has to wait an awkward few seconds for him to catch up and says, after you, even though holding doors open is generally a Big Guy member responsibility.
And this is all nice, of course, but it doesn’t really click for Johnny until they’ve got a rare day off and they suddenly have what feels like all the time in the world to laze around and just exist, for once.
“We should probably get out of bed at some point,” Jaehyun says, though he makes no move to get up. “Shouldn’t we?”
Johnny whines low in his throat. “Don’t wanna,” he says. Jaehyun’s chest makes a perfectly comfortable pillow, and it’s far warmer under the covers than it ever will be outside of them, and so why should they move at all? As far as Johnny is concerned, he’s right where he needs to be. “It’s cold.”
“Aren’t you hungry? It’s almost past noon.”
“I’m not hungry,” Johnny lies. On cue, his stomach growls. “...Okay, fine, I’m a little hungry. You got me.”
“I’ll cook,” Jaehyun offers, making a move to sit up.
Johnny gives him an incredulous look, as if to say, since when do you cook?
“By cook, I mean hang around the kitchen and look pathetic for long enough that either Taeyong or Doyoung takes pity on us and decides to share their food.”
“So our usual, then.”
Jaehyun laughs as he leaves the cocoon of their blankets, the sound of it all wheezy and half-air. Johnny pulls the covers back around himself tightly to keep the warmth in. “You got it. And if you’re cold, you can wear this,” he says, rummaging around in his closet.
The sweatshirt Jaehyun tosses over is an old, well-loved one, one of Johnny’s favorites. It’s soft and it smells vaguely like Jaehyun’s cologne, and they basically share a wardrobe at this point, so Johnny doesn’t think much of it as he pulls it on over his head.
“Warmer?” Jaehyun asks.
“Not as warm as the blankets. But it’ll do,” Johnny says, rising to sit at the edge of his mattress. He widens his legs a little to accommodate Jaehyun as he steps between them. “You’re staring awful hard. Do I have something on my face?”
“No,” Jaehyun laughs, and Johnny wonders if he’ll ever not find himself short of breath when he’s on the receiving end of any of Jaehyun’s smiles, wonders if it’ll ever be any less devastating than it has been for the entire time they’ve known each other. Probably not. He’s been gone on him from the start. “You just look so cute wearing my sweater. So small. Look at your sweater paws, baby.”
Huh. Sure, the sleeves are a little long on him, draping over his knuckles and bunching up at the wrists, but they’re a little long on Jaehyun, too. Then, suddenly, it clicks—small.
So small. How are you going to reach that. Let me get it for you.
Johnny tests the waters. Jaehyun had been the one to insist on getting out of bed, but he goes easily when Johnny curls fingers around his wrist and tugs him back into bed. Doesn’t protest, not even when Johnny crawls into his lap and tucks his head into the crook of his neck.
“I’m not too heavy, am I?” he asks.
Jaehyun winds arms around his waist. “Of course not,” he says, easy as anything. “You’re as light as a feather.”
It’s a familiar sort of comfort. Johnny is well-aware of his own size, so it’s not like he goes climbing into peoples’ laps all that often, but it’s not unheard of, either. They do this whenever Johnny feels like he might want to be spoiled, which turns out to be more often than one might think. Jaehyun is strong. Jaehyun can handle him. Johnny feels the evidence of it in the steady rise and fall of his sculpted chest against him, the firm grip of his hands at his waist, the solid foundation of his legs stretched out beneath him.
Sometimes, even for a certified Big Guy, it just feels nice to be held, to feel small, and Jaehyun never makes him feel like he’s too heavy or too big to be treated gently.
Which—sometimes, Johnny does. Want to be treated gently, that is. Today is one of those days. It’s just like Jaehyun to anticipate his needs, to understand what he wants before Johnny is even aware he felt anything lacking at all.
They stay like that for a couple more minutes, Jaehyun combing his fingers through his hair quietly while Johnny breathes him in. “Your hair smells nice,” he mumbles.
“We all use the same shampoo,” Jaehyun points out, but he sounds amused. “Are you just imagining things?”
That might be true, but even so, there’s something about Jaehyun alone that will always remind Johnny of warmth, of comfort, of home. He noses against Jaehyun’s dimpled cheek, then presses a kiss to the corner of his lips. “That’s just what you do to me, baby,” he says, purposefully greasy, just to hear Jaehyun laugh again.
“So cheesy,” Jaehyun says, his voice immeasurably fond.
“You love it,” Johnny retorts.
Jaehyun smooths a hand over the nape of his neck. “I do,” he says, without hesitation. Despite his tendency to space out, he has this way of looking at Johnny like he’s the only person in the entire world who matters. Never pays any less than full attention to him, stares at him like he hung the stars and sun and moon in the sky.
Johnny’s heart contracts and expands and bursts out of his chest all at once. I’m so lucky, he thinks, briefly overcome with a flood of emotion. So, so, so lucky. With both hands framing Jaehyun’s face, he leans down just to kiss him so he’ll stop looking at him for a second because it’s starting to get just a little bit overwhelming. Johnny would be content to just exchange lazy kisses cocooned in the warmth of their bed, but then Jaehyun’s hand laying innocently at the curve of his ass starts wandering south not-so-innocently, and so what choice does Johnny have but to respond in kind?
“Thought you were hungry?” Jaehyun half-asks, his breath warm against Johnny’s lips.
“I’m hungry for something else,” Johnny replies, and grinds his hips down as if to make a point, though he’s sure Jaehyun could have parsed the meaning behind his words well enough without the added action.
“Insatiable,” Jaehyun says, as if he’s not just as bad as Johnny. His lips drift to Johnny’s neck, where he knows he’s sensitive, and takes the chance to press Johnny back down into the sheets as he goes briefly lax in his arms.
Taking each other’s clothes off is a well-choreographed dance for them by now, one that barely causes any disruption in the far more pressing act of ensuring their lips don’t leave each other for any longer than a few seconds at a time. But when Johnny tugs at the hem of his sweatshirt, Jaehyun presses a broad palm flat to his abdomen and whispers, “keep it on”, into the shell of his ear.
All Johnny can do is groan in response as Jaehyun rucks up the hem of the sweatshirt and starts rutting his hips down against the ridge of his abs. In total contrast to the actual filthiness of his actions, he brushes a kiss tenderly over Johnny’s closed eyelid, then the other, then his lips, then his jaw and the juncture of his neck and shoulder.
Two years together means Johnny’s got two years of sexual encounters (and then some) to draw on to know exactly what Jaehyun likes, what he likes but is too shy to say out loud, and everything else in between, but today it’s clearly Jaehyun who has the upper hand. After all, two years together means Jaehyun has two years of experience to draw on, too, and Jaehyun is an exceedingly thorough learner when it comes to the things he cares about.
His fingers press into every sensitive spot of Johnny’s body—across his chest, the crease of his hip, the bend of his waist, endless others—and his lips follow close after. By the time his mouth is at Johnny’s inner thigh, Johnny is trembling, panting, his cheeks flushed and ruddy as his hands twist in the sheets just for something to anchor himself onto.
The way he leans over to the nightstand to fish out the lube in his top drawer is just instinct, almost an afterthought, but Jaehyun stops him once more with another hand, this time pressed into the middle of his chest. “Wait,” he says. “I got it, baby, let me take care of you.”
You always do, Johnny wants to say. “Okay,” he breathes out, and relaxes back into the mattress. Jaehyun is always a vision to behold, anyone with eyes could tell you that much, but up close he’s even more unfairly beautiful, and Johnny is the only one who gets to see him like this. Bathed in soft morning light, his hair mussed from sleeping on one side over the other, acne scars dotting his chin—it’s somewhat of a far cry from the airbrushed, made up version of Jung Jaehyun that would be recognizable to their fans, but Johnny loves him best like this.
Oblivious to Johnny’s admiration, Jaehyun squeezes a generous dollop of lube over his fingers. “Huh,” he says absentmindedly. “We’re gonna have to buy more soon, I think we’re out after this.”
“Yeah, got it, I’ll get some the next time I’m out.” There’s something so stupidly domestic about the conversation that Johnny’s heart catches in his throat. It’s easy to pretend they’re just two regular people in love, and not international celebrities that could land themselves on the front page of Dispatch if caught buying lube, of all things, at the convenience store on the corner. Sometimes, the mundane concept of normalcy feels like the most out-there fantasy there is.
Jaehyun braces his clean hand on the bed, the other reaching down to trace around Johnny’s rim where he’s still loose and open from when they’d fucked the previous night. Johnny’s breath catches for a second as Jaehyun pushes his first finger in to the knuckle, his toes curling into the mattress.
“You’re so sensitive,” Jaehyun teases, his voice low and breathy. It only takes a curl of his finger for him to find Johnny’s prostate—more luck than purpose—but it makes his smile grow smug all the same as Johnny cries out and presses his hips back against his hand. “Think you can come on just my fingers, baby?”
“I don’t know,” Johnny says weakly. Jaehyun slides in a second and third finger in quick succession, and each time, he has to bite back a moan. The walls in their dorm are criminally thin, and Johnny was raised with manners, after all. “You think you can give it to me good enough?”
Jaehyun can never back down from a challenge, not even one issued in bed from his own boyfriend, so of course his face goes serious in an instant. “Of course,” he replies, his breath warm and wet against Johnny’s neck. “The only question is whether you can handle it or not.”
Johnny opens his mouth on a retort, but it dissipates as soon as Jaehyun twists his fingers back up again to press into the same spot over and over again. He’s pleased to find his teasing had the desired effect, though it’s not as if Jaehyun wouldn’t have given it to him just as good without it.
It’s just more fun this way.
Under any other circumstances, Johnny might be embarrassed at how quickly heat starts to build in his abdomen, or how quickly Jaehyun brings him to the edge. But Jaehyun is nothing if not thorough, and Johnny is nothing if not completely gone on him.
Jaehyun requires no warning from Johnny to know that he’s close—Johnny is sure he can recognize the signs. Though it’s not like getting off is exactly difficult for a guy, there’s a marked difference between his orgasms when it’s his own fingers reaching back to open himself up versus when Jaehyun is the one doing it. Johnny’s entire body goes taut and then lax, and it’s intense enough that he has to screw his eyes shut and dig his nails into Jaehyun’s arms to avoid being overwhelmed by the flood of sensation all at once. Electricity in his veins and a tremor in his thighs and a cry torn from his lungs that gets muffled by Jaehyun’s lips on his, leaning in to swallow the noise with his mouth.
The world comes back to Johnny in pieces. His own cum, sticky and already drying on his abdomen. The ugly popcorn texture on the ceiling. Someone in the living room. And Jaehyun, still achingly hard against his thigh. Despite already being spent, Johnny needs him more than anything. “How do you want me?” he asks.
“Just like this,” Jaehyun says, spreading his legs further apart. “I like to look at you.”
Johnny’s not the most flexible member in the group, so he’s pretty sure his knees are digging into Jaehyun’s chest a little bit, but Jaehyun doesn’t seem to care at all. Just presses a kiss right against his Adam’s apple and runs a hand over his ass and up the back of his thigh, guiding him into wrapping both legs around his waist.
“Missionary?” Johnny says, only half-joking. “You’re a hopeless romantic.”
Jaehyun’s smile is wide and unashamed. “When it comes to you? Of course.”
It’s strange, how two years into their relationship, Jaehyun can still make him blush like a teenager nursing his first crush with only a few words. Maybe their honeymoon period never actually ended. “If you don’t get inside me in the next thirty seconds,” Johnny says, suddenly desperate to be closer than close. His thighs burn as they flex around Jaehyun’s hips. “I’m going to do something drastic.”
“Patience,” Jaehyun says, but his voice is strained. He presses one last lingering kiss to Johnny’s lips before he reaches down to slick himself up, and his bangs, grown out and a little too long for them to not be hanging into his eyes without any styling, brush against Johnny’s forehead. It’s ticklish. Johnny wrinkles his nose, which earns him another kiss and a short laugh. It cuts off into a moan as Johnny curls his fingers around the base of his cock, lining Jaehyun up carefully.
No matter how many times they do this, it always feels a little bit like the first time. Back then, they’d been clumsy and hesitant, wandering hands under the sheets and in the dark. They were only just starting to figure out the feel of each other’s bodies, but when Jaehyun pressed into him, it seemed as though the rest of the world faded away, everything reduced to two things: Jaehyun, and the points of contact where their bodies touched. Though the clumsiness has faded, the magic hasn’t, and Johnny feels it all acutely. The stretch of him burns, but only a little, in the good way that Johnny has been aching for. His eyes flutter shut and his hand finds Jaehyun’s fingers, tangling them together.
“Fuck,” Jaehyun groans when he’s bottomed out, hips flush against Johnny’s ass, and Johnny really couldn’t have said it any better himself. He doesn’t start really moving yet, just slows his hips into a deep grind, the drag of his dick inside him torturously slow and perfect as it always is.
“Faster,” Johnny whines, near delirious, squeezing tight at Jaehyun’s hand and using his limited motion to flex his hips back. He’s not going to last very long, though he feels like he can hardly be blamed for that given the circumstances.
Jaehyun’s not faring much better, if the way his hips stutter as Johnny clenches down around him is any indication. “So needy,” he says, but his voice lets on how desperate he’s feeling, and he does drive forward more insistently. Johnny counts it as a win.
Underneath Jaehyun, caged in by his arms and overwhelmed with the weight of his own desire and affection, he does feel immeasurably small. But more than that, he feels taken care of. Protected. Safe. These are all things he never imagined he might get from another person, when so often it seemed like others would look at the build of his body and make their own assumptions about him, but Jaehyun has always been an expert in subverting expectations. Lucky is, again, the only word Johnny’s searching mind can conjure to describe the serendipity of being able to meet your soulmate, let alone work and live and love alongside them every moment of every day.
Though maybe it’d be more accurate to say that rather than just feeling lucky, he feels grateful, too.
Jaehyun draws him back into the present with a well-aimed thrust, and Johnny turns his head to the side so his face is pressed into the pillow, muffling the loudest of the moans Jaehyun’s pulling out of him. He likes to think he’s doing an okay job at it, but he doesn’t even realize they’ve been escalating in volume until a fist lands on their wall sharply, the sound of it dulled through the several inches of plaster separating them.
It startles a laugh out of his throat that turns into a whimper as the noise leaves him. In response, Jaehyun just presses a kiss to the newly exposed skin of his neck, reaches between their bodies to wrap a hand around Johnny where his dick’s been trapped between them, getting barely enough friction at all.
“Baby,” he huffs against Johnny’s mouth, in that broken way that tells Johnny he’s either about to come or it’s already happening. His hand twists up expertly as Johnny’s hips jerk up. Even on the edge of release, he thinks of Johnny first—doesn’t let himself go until Johnny is coming into his hand with a noisy whine.
Johnny doesn’t have the clarity of mind to process the words that fall out of his own mouth when he allows his second orgasm to crash over him, but somehow he still knows it’s Jaehyun’s name on his lips.
And when Jaehyun does let himself go, it’s a beautiful thing, Johnny thinks. Beautiful to see Jaehyun fall apart above him and how his arms strain with the effort of keeping himself upright. Johnny pulls him into a messy kiss, tries to get him to keep moving even as his breaths become short and stuttered and his thrusts slow to a stop.
Jaehyun doesn’t pull out immediately, opting instead to flutter kisses down the column of Johnny’s throat, like he’s trying to bask in the afterglow as much as he possibly can. Even then, too quickly, he peels himself off Johnny to at least make a half-baked attempt at cleaning the worst of the mess on their bodies. Johnny squirms as a tissue gets wiped across his stomach, and Jaehyun presses a non-apology kiss to his collarbone.
“So,” Johnny says, finally, breaking the silence. “I’m small, huh?”
Something about his tone must give him away, because Jaehyun just smiles at him, flustered and a little sheepish. “I didn’t know if you’d caught on yet or not,” he says. “But—I just thought it’d be nice, you know? You’re always looking out for other people. I don’t think a lot of people realize just how much they lean on you because they think you’re big and strong and dependable. Which you are, of course, but—”
He reaches out, and smooths a hand over Johnny’s cheek. “You deserve to be taken care of, too,” he continues quietly.
Johnny thinks to himself—People search their entire lives for a love like this, and look at you—you managed to find it in your best friend, of all places.
“I love you,” he says aloud, and then because it bears repeating, “I love you.” It’s the stuff of just about every movie or song or book or piece of art worth looking at, and Johnny has never known what it was to be so in love the invisible axis of your entire world was left spinning around another human. But he does now.
“I love you too,” Jaehyun replies. His smile deepens when Johnny reaches a hand out to thumb over the indent in his cheek. “Now are we gonna make it out of bed for food, or do you have another round in you?”
Johnny mulls it over. “Do you think you’re strong enough to fuck me up against the wall?” If Jaehyun’s going to act like he’s small, he might as well go all the way with it.
Jaehyun’s hand tightens around his hip. The look on his face is seriously thoughtful. “Only one way to find out.”