Chapter Text
Thursday 6:15 PM
Class 1-A chat
Livewire: anyone else having panic attacks?
Knightofzoom: Kaminari! If you are experiencing mental troubles, there are plenty of people who would be willing to help you through it!
Livewire: nah im just freaking out about the math test tomorrow
Ripley: Oh fuk I completely forgot!
Isawedthisboatinhalf: you didn’t have to bring it up, man! I could have lived in blissful ignorance!
Ripley: you don’t think we could ask Ectoplasm-sensei to give us a study extension, right?
Waluigi: damn, sounds like a skill issue :kappa:
Ripley: oh fuck off
Knightofzoom: Language!
Knightofzoom: Speaking to a colleague in such a manner is highly unheroic behavior!
Ripley: yes dad…
Knightofzoom: And if you and Kaminari are looking for a study group I’m sure many people in the class would be happy to help!
Ripley: yeah but most of our study buddies are busy!
Queen: I can help you guys after dinner!
Dynamight: yeah right, provided your cooking doesn’t kill us first
Bassassbitch: piss off you dick! Momo’s not that bad of a cook!
Dynamight: HER BREAD LAST WEEK WAS STONE DRY AND HAD BITS OF KNIFE STICKING OUT OF IT FUCK OFF
Bassassbitch: Maybe if you weren’t such a big baby you would learn to appreciate someone who’s trying their best for you
Dynamight: HER BEST IS NOT DAMN GOOD ENOUGH
Bassassbitch: YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE
Dynamight: YEAH BITCH I DO!
Ripley: @ IfYaSmell come get your man before he bites Kyoka’s head off
IfYaSmell: @dynamight it’s not worth it, bro. just leave it.
Cold snap: It’s so weird seeing Bakugou now that Kirishima’s tamed him
Pepe’s chosen: I’d be happy to help you guys but I don’t feel comfortable with trying to explain vector calculus
Pepe’s chosen: my mind melts whenever I look at the homework
Pepe’s chosen: what about Iida?
Knightofzoom: I’m currently at the gymnasium with Ojiro and Tokoyami, I can help when I get back!
Ripley: wow I can imagine Ojiro and Iida at the gym but Tokoyami?
Thirdleg: he wanted to work on cardio and endurance
Thirdleg: he’s…trying his best
Knightofzoom: He’s doing fantastic work for someone who doesn’t find time for exercise!
Isawedthisboatinhalf: So that’s Momo, Iida, Ojiro and Tsuyu off the table. What about Midoriya?
Ripley: Midori and Chako had a hard day, said that they were going to their rooms to rest
Livewire: Heroics class does seem to take a lot out of them.
Bassassbitch: considering they try harder than anyone else in that class, yeah.
Isawedthisboatinhalf: except maybe bakugou
Pepe’s chosen: yeah but that’s just because he’s trying to beat Izuku at everything
Pepe’s chosen: key word “trying”
Dynamight: bitch
Pepe’s chosen: how’s that leash Eijiro’s got you on?
Isawedthisboatinhalf: damn, tsuyu throwing out zingers as usual tonight
Pepe’s chosen: Fulfilling my sacred duty
Waluigi: pfft yeah right, they’re “resting”
Ripley: dude, get your head out of the gutter
John Shena: pretty sure it’s stuck so far in there you couldn’t get it out with a crowbar and a hammer
Waluigi: har har
Waluigi: but seriously, you see them when they’re together all the time
Waluigi: they can’t get enough of each other all cuddly and giggly like that
Waluigi: they act innocent but I swear they fuck every time our backs are turned
Waluigi: they’re both more perverted than I am, you’ll see!
Bassassbitch: seriously?
Bassassbitch: you’re accusing our resident cinnamon rolls of being more sexually deviant than you?
Waluigi: Shut up pancake
Bassassbitch: I wonder if I can make wine out of your skull
Queen: knock it off you two
Queen: besides, regardless of if we actually think they’ve been…intimate yet, it is not our place to be prying into their love life.
Queen: If he were here, Iida would be calling it “thoroughly unheroic behavior”
Waluigi: don’t proclaim innocence to me, princess!
Waluigi: I’ve watched you get all friendly with him too! You’re probably going behind Uraraka’s back to get some of him for yourself!
Waluigi: how would you like it if I called your home-wrecker ass out?
John Shena: Ok first of all fuck you
Bassassbitch: don’t slander Momo
John Shena: second of all have you and Todoroki been hanging out recently
Cold Snap: I’d prefer not to be around people who make my close friends uncomfortable.
Livewire: rip mineta, lol
John Shena: and third of all, Aizawa-sensei warned you to stop stalking Momo! Even if she is friends with Izu, her friendliness with him is not your business!
Waluigi: oho, on a first name basis I see?
Waluigi: is poor Uraraka getting cucked by everyone in the class?
Pepe’s chosen: your logic confuses and frightens me, Mineta.
Tentacool: Pretty sure half the class has nicknames for Midoriya anyway
Tentacool: Mina calls him Midori, Jiro calls him green
Tentacool: Kirishima calls him Mido-bro
Smallmight sent an image to the chat
Smallmight: you really think you can get all this down that tight little throat, baby?
Starchild: oh I’d be happy to come over and show you, daddy. <3
Tentacool: Uraraka calls him daddy, apparently
Starchild: WAIT
Starchild: OH GOD
Starchild: WRONG CHAT DEKU
Smallmight: oh shit
Smallmight sent 50 images to chat
Livewire: It’s too late man
Livewire: We saw everything
Isawedthisboatinhalf: I HAVE BEEN CURSED
Bnuuy: I can help
Bnuuy set 24 images to the chat
Isawedthisboatinhalf: BUNNIES WONT HELP
Livewire: im not sure what im more scandalized by
Livewire: the fact that resident sunshine boy just sent a nude to the whole class
Livewire: or the fact that resident sunshine girl just responded
Dynamight: FUCKING HELL YOU SHITTY DEKU
Dynamight: YOU THINK WE’D WANT TO SEE YOUR DICK
Smallmight: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I SWEAR
Smallmight: I’m so sorry! I swear I did not mean to send it to the class chat!
Thirdleg: I don’t think I can call myself this anymore, I pass my title onto you
Smallmight: That’s not helping, Ojiro
Thirdleg: I know
Livewire: this just in, ojiro can be funny
Knightofzoom: what’s going on? Is there an emergency?
Thirdleg: Scroll up, Iida
Smallmight: NO IIDA DON’T SCROLL UP PLEASE
Thirdleg: too late.
Knightofzoom:
Thirdleg: I think I saw Iida’s glasses crack
Crowfather: Why is our class president curled up in a corner and weeping
Starchild: oh im so sorry iida
Crowfather: Wait never mind
Crowfather: Oh for the love of all that is dark
Smallmight: It was an accident, I swear!
Crowfather: I have no reason to distrust you
Crowfather: but please never do this aghfkdlss
Smallmight: Tokoyami? You ok?
Crowfather: HEY NICE COCK BRO
Crowfather: THICK, BUT NOT TOO FLACCID
Crowfather: PERFECT LENGTH
Crowfather: A NICE 80 DEGREE ANGLE
Crowfather: I RATE IT AN 8.5 OUTTA 10
Crowfather: GOOD JOB K
Crowfather: I hate this damn bird sometimes
Tentacool: am I to assume that was Dark Shadow?
Crowfather: Unfortunately
Smallmight: I really have to ask you some questions about him sometime.
Smallmight: What’s his personality like?
Smallmight: Does he act on his own whims?
Smallmight: Do you two clash often or work together most of the time?
Dynamight: DON’T TRY TO WEASEL YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKING NERD!
Dynamight: I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS FOR SHOWING ME THAT! FUCK YOU!
Starchild: Leave him alone, Bakugou! It was a mistake!
Dynamight: PISS OFF YOU ROUND-FACED WHORE
Starchild:
Livewire: oh shit baku’s dead
Dynamight: I can take both of them on! Anything to make them suffer for what they
Thirdleg: Wow, I heard that slap from the gym
Isawedthisboatinhalf: surprised Kirishima didn’t stop them
IfYaSmell: nah, he deserved that one. I’m getting him an icepack now.
IfYaSmell: also, @smallmight nice work, man.
IfYaSmell: you have to show me your workout regimen sometime!
Smallmight: Thanks…
Bnuuy: I see smoke coming from the common room, did Todoroki set fire to the couch again?
Bassassbitch: Nope, he left to, and I quote “wash myself of the sin I just witnessed”
Bassassbitch: Dinner got burned because Momo got distracted
Bassassbitch: by…that.
John Shena: Good kami you could grind meat on those abs
Ripley: I wanna grind my meat on those abs
Tentacool: You really wanna put that in chat?
Ripley: FUCK
Crowfather: You might wish to apologise to Uraraka
Starchild: no, its fine…
Starchild: I do get what they mean
Bassassbitch: oh you really GET it alright
Starchild: shut
Bassassbitch: Sato just came in
Bassassbitch: oh shit he’s weeping
Daddydiabetes: I just want to say for the record
Daddydiabetes: I’m barring Yaoyorozu from the kitchen until further notice
Bassassbitch: chill out bro, it wasn’t her fault this time
Daddydiabetes: oh I know
Daddydiabetes: which is why I’m not making anything for Midoriya or Uraraka for a month
Starchild: What?! That’s BS! It was an accident!
Daddydiabetes: IM HOLDING YOU TWO ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT SHE DID TO THIS POOR STEAK
Pepe’s Chosen: can everyone please calm the heck down? This was a total accident, they have a right to be doing this in private, the fact that they did this unwittingly means that they aren’t to be held accountable for any psychological damage it caused.
Smallmight: Thank you, tsuyu.
Smallmight: And again, I’m deeply sorry to everyone in the chat for showing that to you. Even though it was an accident, it was a mistake on my part and I’m willing to take any responsibility for what I’ve done. I hope it doesn’t affect our relationships in any way.
Pepe’s chosen: besides, he’s got so many girlfriends in this class he might as well have sent it to the groupchat anyway.
Smallmight:
Starchild:
Bassassbitch:
Queen:
John Shena:
Ripley:
Ripley: TSU WHAT THE FUCK
Tentacool: ok, THAT might change the way we look at you
Smallmight: Tsuyu! That was uncalled for!
Pepe’s chosen: oh come on! Everyone was going to figure out eventually, I might as well get it out there now, before someone found out in an even more embarrassing way
Smallmight: More embarrassing than me and Ochako giving the groupchat a view of my penis?!
Pepe’s chosen: To be fair, it is a very fine looking penis.
Starchild: DAMMIT TSU NOT NOW!
Knightofzoom: Uraraka! Have you been aware of Izuku having multiple relationships?! I value our friendship too much to see you betrayed like this!
Queen: Yes, such uncouth action is shameful! @smallmight I’m coming up there to give you a piece of my mind!
Starchild: DON’T YOU COME NEAR HIM!
Starchild: WE HAVE A SCHEDULE, REMEMBER?
Starchild: YOU HAD HIM TWO DAYS AGO, HE’S MINE TONIGHT!
Queen:
Queen: Perhaps your mistake should cost you your monopolization of him!
Starchild: What, so you’re abusing your authority as vice rep to snatch him away from me? I don’t think so!
Bassassbitch: She’s got a point, Chako. Maybe you should be punished.
Pepe’s chosen: Public humiliation is punishment enough. Besides, you’re just taking her side in case she invites you over for “bonding time” again.
Bassassbitch: I’ll keep your comments in mind next time we have one of our music lessons, froggy
Ripley: Hey, are we just gonna forget the fact that Tsu just outed us to the entire class?
Pepe’s Chosen: said the girl with an exhibition fetish
Pepe’s Chosen: would you rather them watch us have an orgy?
Ripley: Damn, are you just gonna spill everything to everyone now?
Pepe’s chosen: I’m on a roll, might as well finish what I’ve started!
Queen: You wouldn’t dare!
Smallmight: ENOUGH!
Smallmight: We are not having this fight where everyone can see us! @starchild @Pepe’s chosen @bassassbitch @queen @ripley @john shena in my room. Now.
Pepe’s chosen: yes sir
Queen: I’m on my way.
John Shena: oh boy he used the angry voice
Smallmight left the chat
Starchild left the chat
Pepe’s chosen left the chat
Bassassbitch left the chat
Queen left the chat
Ripley left the chat
John Shena left the chat
Knightofzoom:
Tentacool:
Dynamight:
Crowfather:
Livewire: holy shit, Midoriya
Livewire: how the hell does he do it
Isawedthisboatinhalf: teach us, oh master
Thirdleg: god I feel so bad for iida now.
Knightofzoom: I
Knightofzoom: I’ve had my suspicions for a while now, but this…
Knightofzoom: I must speak with Izuku and Uraraka about this.
Tentacool: don’t bother doing it tonight.
Knightofzoom: yes, I imagine they’d want some time alone. With their…partners.
Crowfather: Honestly it isn’t unheard of, I know at least one of my relatives has multiple partners. I just never thought it would be him.
Livewire: yeah, he’s so…
Crowfather: Innocent?
Livewire: something like that, yeah.
Daddydiabetes: I guess I’m calling for pizza tonight.
Dynamight: I can’t fucking believe it. I’m not going to believe it. This is bullshit.
IfYaSmell: You ok, bro?
Dynamight: how does the shitty nerd get to have a harem? How?
Isawedthisboatinhalf: not having the personality of a chainsaw strapped to a ceiling fan helps.
Tentacool: Oh no
Livewire: what now, man?
Tentacool: I’m guessing the meeting’s over and they’ve hugged and cried together already
Daddydiabetes: is that why the building’s starting to shake?
Tentacool: I’m pretty sure Mineta’s crying tears of blood right about now.
Daddydiabetes: I just saw Aoyama come down, ask what was happening, look at hs phone for a bit, and then dramatically swoon onto a couch.
Daddydiabetes: He’s blushing and breathing heavily
Daddydiabetes: he just asked me if I think Midoriya is interested in men.
Livewire: shit I just realized something
Livewire: Aizawa-sensei has access to this chat.
UA Faculty Chat
AAAAAAAAAA: Why has Aizawa broken into Nezu’s office and is now drinking out of his private whiskey bottle
SuperScarfMan: I WANT TO FORGET EVERYTHING AND DIE
SuperScarfMan: NEZU PLEASE SMITE ME
MouseOverlord: No 😊