Chapter Text
Nanika, as it turns out, was a daredevil.
Whilst Alluka loved more quiet activities such as sitting down in a sunny café patio to read or people watching on the beach, Nanika would always prefer more erm...adventurous activities such as trying Killua's skateboard, climbing and jumping of off benches at the park, etc. She was a lot like a toddler sometimes: she would get into everything, too curious for her own good and she seriously lacked any basic self-preservation instincts.
Nanika, as it turns out, had a big adventurous streak and a penchant for getting in trouble.
Killua often thinks that if not for the fact his hair was already white; he would be going gray within the first few months of their travels. As it is, he is pretty sure Nanika will send him to an early grave.
If he doesn't kill her first, that is.
"Nanika--" He grits out, "Princess. You know I love you don't you?" He says and her huge, void like eyes wobble a bit and she smiles, tearfully.
"Ay."
He rolls another piece of gauze on her elbow carefully, the white bandage a stark contrast against her skin even though she is so pale. "I'm not mad, ok?" He secures it properly, looks at it for a few more seconds before lifting his eyes towards his sister again. Her arms lift slowly, hands settling in his cheeks. She looks like she is concentrating very hard so Killua waits, patiently.
"Nanika sorry--?" She says, uncertainly and phrasing it more like a question than an actual apology but when Killua smiles at her encouragingly, she repeats herself more surely this time. "Nanika sorry. Killu-a. Nanika sorry."
Killua sighs, shoulders dropping a little. He can’t help but smile down at Nanika,"If you want to try the skateboard you need to ask first ok? If you really, really want to try it again just ask me, big brother will help you."
He pats her head and she smiles at him, cuddling up in his arms and relaxing. Jesus Christ. He is sure that dying of a heart attack at fifteen is not really possible but seeing her sprawled on the ground in a heap and bleeding had certainly shaved at least ten years out of his life spam.
He gets it though. Nanika, from what Alluka has explained to him, is ancient and knowledgeable about things he can't even begin to comprehend but she struggles with making the connections between that knowledge and her actions. Like an adult trapped into a baby's body –like an old, magic spirit stuck into a teenage girl. It is a hard step that he and Alluka are striving to overcome with Nanika and is slow going but she is learning.
Sometimes thought, sometimes she acts before any kind of thinking at all. Killua often wonders if she –after being locked away in Alluka's mind and on top of that, locked in a room for years with nothing but creepy wide eyed dolls for company– secretly enjoys and craves the thrill of an adventure.
In that same line of thinking, Killua can't help but dread the day she and Gon get to hang out together unsupervised.
"No, seriously Gon–"
"Aw, I'm sure is not that bad," Gon's voice, tiny and crackly though the phone was full of mirth. Killua couldn't help but pout, since there was nobody to see him doing it anyway. "She wants to go flying, Gon! She essentially asked me if she could go skydiving–"
Gon's laughter rang loudly and boisterous in Killua's ears and he felt himself smiling against his will. Gon always had a way of making him forget his worries and for once, Killua welcomed the distraction. He fears he is slowly becoming an overbearing parent to his sister, especially Nanika, since they started travelling together. He couldn't help it though, he is just so worried that something could happen to them, he keeps expecting the other shoe to drop at any moment and it’s making him paranoid. Alluka is such a good kid; kind and considering. She takes time analysing things before going ahead, she is polite, doesn’t curse, and is just overall so excited about the prospect of seeing new things and learning new things...she doesn't deserve to be smothered by Killua's paranoid tendencies. However, he cannot help but worry.
"I mean, skydiving is fun, Killu-a," His traitor of a best friend says, cheerfully and Killua is about to tell him what is definitely not going to be fun when Gon goes on, “Besides, think of this way: she's just a kid that has been stuck in that box for so long. I think the last thing she needs right now is safe--"
"Gon, are you seriously telling me to put my sisters in danger on purpose--" He muttered darkly and Gon sighed, exasperated, miles and fucking miles away from him. Killua misses him.
"No," Gon says, exasperated, "I'm saying that as her brother you should find a way to let her experience things in the safest way possible. C'mon, don't you remember how it feels like--" Gon's voice goes soft around the edges and Killua swallows thickly, "--being free for the first time?"
Killua narrows his eyes at the hotel's wall. There's a faded landscape painting hanging crookedly in front of him. Killua glares at it as if it personally wronged him. "It's just so dangerous. She is just a kid..." He mumbles. So were you, Gon does not say. "I just worry." He mutters, sullenly. There is a breath on the other side of the line, as if Gon is about to speak when a mighty roaring noise interrupts him, followed closely by the sound of the phone clattering to the floor and Gon's giggling in the background.
"Oh–aww man–how the heck did it–Ging, Ginger escaped again!"
There is some more muffled conversation on the other side of the line and then finally, "Hah–sorry, Killua. Someone learnt how to break out of their pen again–" a small yowl this time and Gon's cooing noises floated back at him. Killua turned over on his stomach; head buried into the smelly bedcovers of the hotel bed to better hide his silly smile there, sour mood instantly lifting at the sound of Gon's laughter. Fuck, Killua misses his stupid face.
Just then, Alluka entered the room, arms loaded with all sort of snacks and sweets, ready for their movie night. One look at his face and she smiled at him knowingly, mouthing tell Gon I said hi. She threw herself in the other bed and started going through the phone Killua had gotten her, content to wait for him to finish his call. Man, how did he ended up with such a know-it-all little sister? "–nyway, as I was saying–"
"Tell me how your training is going." Killua interrupted loudly, knowing that his little devious little sister was just pretending to be interested in whatever she was looking at. "Alluka says hi, by the way," He said pointedly. Killua knew, for a fucking fact, she had her ears tuned to his conversation with Gon, the nosey little witch. Gon, to his credit only stuttered for a second before launching in a complicated and overdetailed tale of his new nen training. Having just recently gotten his nen back he was still struggling to achieve the same level of control he’d been used to. Killua knew that this development aggravated Gon to no end, specially since Killua was not there to help him figure things out this time. Gon had moaned and complained at length about this fact.
Killua, however, has no doubt he would reach his goal in no time –no extra help needed. As he listened intently to Gon's voice, phone pressed closed to his ear, eyes soft and small smile on his face, he only realised the betrayal when it was too late: Alluka had taken a picture of him in his current state –i.e. dishevelled, hair everywhere and the most stupid gooey look on his face– and sent it to Gon. And since when they started texting each other anyways? How dare them–
"'Ooh, Killua looks so pretty–"
"Wha–what the fuck–Alluka what are you doing??”
"–ne, Killua, are you going to leave your hair long like that?"
"–its none of your fucking bu–"
"It suits you–"
"–god, can you get any more embarrassing?"
"I can try–"
"Shut the fuck up, I'm hanging up now! And you Alluka, what the hell–"
The sound of Gon's giggle cut off abruptly when Killua disconnected the call and pounced on Alluka. A tickle attack was the most effective strategy, Killua knew all the spots where she was weak and got her to cry uncle in no time at all. She said the most insincere sorry he'd ever heard in his life but he still forgave her and decided to let it go, settle down to eat and watch a movie. He checked up his phone to find a picture of Gon, silly faced with his hair caked in mud and a massive orange seal-like creature laying half on top of him. The caption said only The escape artist herself!!!
Killua misses him. His stupid hair and his stupid face and even his stupid green fucking jacket– Killua misses him so much sometimes he can barely stand himself. Nevertheless, he knows it’s for the best. Gon needs time with his father and Killua needs time to figure his shit out. He’s not ready to face him yet. To face his feelings yet. So he put his phone aside and turns his attention back to his sister, the most important person in his life right now. He observes her and takes Gon's words into careful consideration and when he peels away all the unnecessary anxiety, unreasonable panic and what if’s he realises that Gon's is right, damn him.
Alluka deserves to enjoy her newly gained freedom and Killua needs to trust her to start making her own decisions.
It doesn't hurt to be careful though, he reasons, as he opens a new search on his phone and start looking into skydiving lessons for beginners.
"Absolutely not!" Killua exclaims, poking a slender, pale finger accusingly in the center of Gon’s chest.
"Oh...Oh dear." Alluka murmurs when onlookers start making shifty eyes at them.
"I would be with them the whole–" Gon tries, but Killua steamrolls right into the middle of the nonsense Gon's about to hit him with. "You are not, are not, taking my sister to jump off of a cliff –are you out of your goddam mind, Gon–"
"Okay, Killua."
"–of all, it’s dangerous and second of all Nanika had just learned how to swim– no fucking way you're–what?”
"I said OK, Killua." Gon repeats, placidly. Alluka sighs and Killua eyes him suspiciously. Gon's eyes are soft, molten caramel in the fading afternoon light. He looks happy and serene and not at all like he's about to insist into taking his sisters–his precious, fragile little sisters– into a dangerous cliff jump at the beach.
Killua knew that this was bound to happen eventually. Had in fact, been preparing himself for weeks –since the moment they re-united, honestly– in anticipation of the day Gon and Nanika would gang up and come up with the most ridiculously dangerous activity they could think of that would send Killua into an anxiety induced breakdown. It took them long enough, really. What Killua was not anticipating, however, was this docile acquiescence to his authority coming from Gon. That was new and frankly, Killua did not trust it. His eyes narrowed dangerously and fixed into Gon’s innocent eyes.
"Who are you and what have you done with the real Gon?"
Gon, the little shit, just laughs loud and happy. His eyes crinkle and his smile widens when he notices Killua incredulous stare. "You said no, Killua." Gon says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world for Killua to say no and Gon just to accept, no incessant insistence, no puppy dog eyes no saying okay and then going behind Killua's back and doing it anyway. "If you say no, then is no." He says, like Killua hadn't said no to him about a million times in the past just for Gon to turn around and hit him with the most ridiculous and illogical reasoning–
"I swear to fucking God, Gon, if you–"
Alluka had sat back down into the bench to wait out their little weird moment, feet kicking merrily, looking between the two of them like they are the best entertainment she'd ever had. Killua is most certainly not amused.
He is still suspicious and about to prod further at Gon when the idiot himself drops down on his knees in the sand and clasps his hands in front of Alluka.
"Alluka, can you ask Nanika to come out, please," he murmurs and when her eyes open wide, black and endless, Gon smiles at her and takes her small hands.
"Hi sweetheart," He says, gentle, so so gentle, “I know you wanted to try the pretty cliff but I'm afraid we can't do that today, alright? We need to train our swimming a little bit more before we do that so we don't get hurt ok?"
"Nanika likes swimming," She says and Gon pats he head lightly. Killua feels like his chest is caving in on itself. "Nanika is a great swimmer! We can come back tomorrow if you want–"
"Ay!" Nanika exclaims and claps excitedly and Gon suddenly looks up at Killua. "If it's OK with your brother, how about I get you some strawberry ice cream, huh?! Would Nanika like that?" He asks, and although his question is for Nanika, he is looking at Killua, waiting for his approval.
Distantly, Killua hears himself say yes, she can have some ice cream before dinner but not too much otherwise she will have another tummy ache Gon– and he nods and rushes off to the vendor up on the promenade and Killua is left staring at his back, stunned and overwhelmed and falling in love with that idiot all over again.
His sister pulls on his hand a little, huge void-like eyes shining and a wobbly smile on her face.
"Nanika loves Gon."
Killua's heart lurches and he pulls her close, smiles at her, thinks fervently me too Nanika, I love him too.
Just as he is about to put his shoes on Killua saw fingers curling at the threshold of the hallway followed half a beat later by a head. The eyes that greet him were not the familiar ocean blue eyes of Alluka. He smiles, softly.
"Hey you. I thought you and Alluka had training today?"
He shrugs his jacket on and checks his pockets for his wallet, keys and finds a forgotten lollipop he'd put it there the other day. Sweet.
There is banging and clanging coming from the kitchen and Gon's incredibly out of tune singing reaches his ears. Nanika waddles towards him to give him a hug and he takes advantage of the moment to slowly card his fingers through her hair. Gon's head pops out from the kitchen doorway, eyes soft, mouth curled in a smile. "Hey, are you on your way out? Did you remembered to take your licence–"
"Yes, mom."
Gon sticks his tongue out at him playfully and Killua double-crosses his eyes in retaliation. Nanika's head pops up from Killua's arms and says "Day off." in delayed response to Killua's early question. "Yes!” Gon singsongs, back from the kitchen, "And we have a date today, don't we, Nanika,” and Nanika goes "Ay!" so enthusiastically that Killua's heart melts into a gooey sticky puddle of love.
Wait a second.
"Gon." He calls out and the warning tone in his voice is unmistakable. So much so that Gon drops the noisy stuff he'd been fiddling with and comes out on the hall again. "What exactly are you guys planning on doing today?" Which roughly translates to if you take my sisters to any of your usual dangerous, thrill-seeking and possible bruise-forming activities crap I will fucking end you in Killua's idiom. "Don't worry, Killua–" He says, eyes huge and innocent gleaming out at him. Killua glares and zips up his jacket. "We are staying in today. I am teaching Nanika how to bake."
Before Killua could even open his mouth to voice out his serious misgivings about Nanika anywhere near a hot oven let one handling one it she goes, "Ay!" and claps her hands together excitedly. He swallows his protests and pats her on the head again. "I promise we'll be safe." Gon says and as hard as it is for Killua to stop being his overbearing, overprotective self he decides to ignore his misgivings and trust them. They deserve that.
"Right. You guys have fun OK? I'll be back around eight."
And he goes out of the door to the chorus of goodbyes from the most important people in his universe.
*
Many hours later, he comes home to be greeted by Alluka, her laptop open and balancing precariously over her folded her legs a huge slice of chocolate cake in a plate in her hand. She smiles at his expression of excitement and says, "Don't even think about it, brother. Dinner first!"
"Jeez, when the hell did you become such a bossy little tyrant?" He says, but he obediently goes to the kitchen in search of something to eat. He finds himself staring at a nice, delicious-looking food portioned out in a plate for him. It smells amazing and his stomach rumbles appreciatively.
"Did you cook that, Alluka?" He says, mouth full and chewing loudly. She makes a face at him but then smiles and nods, proud expression on her face. "And Nanika made the cake. Gon made sure we didn't have to handle the stove or the oven unsupervised, though, so don't make that face!" God. Killua feels all weird inside; as if he is bubbling over with so much affection and love that, he does not know what to do with the sheer intensity of it.
"Where is he, anyway?" Killua needs to kiss him. And possible kill him. Kiss first, then killing.
"He went to see Wing about the, and I quote 'thing with the widow lady'. Said he'll be back in a bit."
Killua is so going to kill him. And kiss him a lot. And then take the piss out of him for falling into that old hag's shitty attempt at honey trap.
But first he's going to have a ridiculously huge slice of cake.
Cake. Then kissing. Then maybe killing.