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Tim’s seat vibrated under his body, a constant hum that he had gotten used to. By the same notion, he had also gotten used to the arm around his shoulder and the body that had become his pillow. He opened his eyes, vision blurring as he looked over and saw the face that always made Tim happy and safe. The face that, just yesterday, Tim had committed himself to fully.
His match. His heart. His husband.
Bernard.
“How long was I out for?” Tim asked, yawning as he regained his senses, remembering where he was: A private Wayne Enterprise jet, on their way to their honeymoon.
Stale atmosphere thinned the air. Tim’s ears were clogged and he should’ve popped them, but he didn’t want to move. He’d deal with the discomfort. Even more noticeable was that in the jet there was so much free space, yet Tim and Bernard were cuddled up against each other as if they couldn’t bear to be even more than an inch apart.
Tim nuzzled his face in the crook of Bernard’s arm that was around him, kissing his skin softly. Bernard’s response was swift, pulling Tim more against him despite the fact that they were already so close.
“Just the take-off.” Bernard answered, his full lips and blue eyes shining down on Tim. Tim’s eyelids grew heavy but he couldn’t tear his gaze away.
“Sorry.” apologized Tim, rubbing his eyes, “I didn’t realize how exhausted I was.”
“You don’t need to apologize, husband.” Bernard said with a cheeky grin. In the last twenty four hours, if Tim had taken a shot for every time Bernard had referred to him as husband, he would have died of alcohol poisoning twice over. Still, the flutter in his chest was pleased with how happy Tim could make Bernard from that alone. He didn’t even need to do anything to make him happy, he just had to be.
And it felt good to constantly be reminded that he was Bernard’s in that way. It still felt so unreal, an emotional hangover seeping into Tim’s every cell.
“You should sleep.” Bernard said, resting his head on Tim’s. “It’s been an exhausting day and I need you awake and full of energy for the honeymoon festivities.”
“And just what kind of festivities are you talking about?” Tim asked, smiling up at Bernard.
Bernard just grinned as he lowered his face and kissed Tim sweetly, the touch of his lips still the best thing Tim had ever experienced.
“I guess we’ll find out together.” Bernard said, touching his forehead to Tim’s. Tim couldn’t close his eyes or look away, his entire periphery being consumed by Bernard.
Still the most beautiful sight to him.
“Now come on.” Bernard said, shaking Tim’s shoulder. “Take a nap. I’ll probably also get a few winks.”
Tim wanted to protest, wanting to continue to be awake with his husband. Talk with him, kiss him, anything he wanted as long as they were together. Nevertheless, his body was slowly falling into slumber, the mesmerizing whir of the jet engine lulling him into sleep’s embrace.
“Alright…” Tim said, yawning as he nestled himself on Bernard’s shoulder. Bernard’s arm around him was the best comforter and this was his favorite bed. He normally didn’t sleep well on airplanes, but this might be the one good time.
“Goodnight, sleepyhead.” Bernard’s voice called out as Tim drifted out of consciousness. “And sweet dreams.”
But Tim didn’t need to dream, because everything he and Bernard went through was perfect enough.
“I still don’t get why you moved out.” Bernard said, sprawled on Tim’s old bed. “I mean, this is a whole damn mansion! Sure you didn’t live alone, but…Tim, it’s a mansion!”
Tim laughed as he sat down on the bed next to Bernard, moving his hand to start running it through Bernard’s hair.
“Because I wanted space.” Tim said, “And to be…some kind of self sufficient.”
“You don’t have a butler at home though.” Bernard said, “And it shows, I’ve seen your sink and your laundry hamper. It’s like you have to have a one-to-one ratio between dirty dishes and dirty clothes. How do you even get them so dirty? Some of the stains I've seen feel like scientific discoveries in the making.”
“Hey!” Tim said, playfully smacking Bernard’s forehead, “I can take care of myself. You’re supposed to let the laundry hamper overflow so you do more in one load and then you don’t have to do as much laundry. And the only reason my kitchen is dirty is cause I cook and bake for myself. Do you know how many dishes you go through when you bake? A lot, for your information.”
“Never forget Fir Pri.” Bernard said, tilting his head as he circled his hand around Tim’s wrist, pressing his lips to Tim's palm.
Tim’s breath caught in his throat at the mention of that. It was odd, this. Tim brought Bernard over to Wayne Manor for dinner with his family for the first time, wanting to show him his old room that stayed untouched. Being here with him felt weird, like two different worlds colliding.
The Tim that he was when he lived here was different. Unsure of himself and what he wanted to do. He was Robin and that was it. Was he also Tim Drake? He guessed he had to be. But with Bernard, he doesn’t just have to be Tim Drake. He wants to be Tim Drake, because Bernard makes him feel like Tim Drake is worth something. And one day, Tim Drake would have to share Bernard with Robin. He’d have to, to see how far they could go. For now though, he would indulge in his selfishness and keep Bernard all to himself.
“Fir Pri.” Tim repeated, smiling softly, looking down at Bernard.
Bernard picked his head up, crashing his lips into Tim’s and cupping his cheeks. Tim barely had a moment to think before it dawned on him what exactly was happening. He was breathing in Bernard and tasting him and it was as overwhelmingly amazing as it was the first time.
Bernard sat up, moving one of his hands down from Tim’s cheek to the hem of his shirt, deepening his kiss. Tim was helpless to do anything but moan into Bernard’s mouth, his nervous system acting on hyperdrive. Bernard’s fingers slipped under Tim’s shirt, the tips of his nails gently scraping along Tim’s skin and that set him into a frenzy.
“What are you doing?” Tim asked, pulling away against his better judgment. He looked at Bernard, lips swollen and a bit of drool dribbling down his mouth, all because of him.
And oh, if that didn’t please a primal part of Tim, the knowledge that he was the one responsible for that.
Bernard stared at Tim, pupils blown wide with a hunger that Tim had never seen on him before.
“Sorry, got a little carried away.” Bernard chuckled, removing his hands from Tim’s waist. Tim wanted to cry out to him to put his hands back, to let his fingers roam whatever they wanted, but he didn’t. He just stared at Bernard who was blushing bashfully, scratching his head and looking away.
“Turned on by the mansion that much, huh?” Tim joked, trying to lighten the mood and get them back to a good place. “I knew you were only into me for the money.”
“Damn, I’ve been discovered.” Bernard shrugged with his usual smile.
But it faltered. Tim noticed it. He couldn’t not notice with how well he now knew Bernard. Tim put his hand on Bernard’s arm and felt him slightly tense under the touch.
He knew what Bernard wanted. He just didn’t know how to give it to him, because they had yet to do that.
“Tim…can I ask you something?” Bernard asked, so earnestly that Tim could deny him nothing. He nodded at Bernard for continue. “Do I…I mean just…is there something about me?”
“What?” Tim asked, confused. Maybe he misinterpreted after all.
“I mean, we’ve been together for over six months.” Bernard said, “And I’ve loved every moment we’ve had together. Movies and milkshakes and roller coasters, but...we still haven’t had sex yet. Is it…is it me?”
Tim’s heart dropped to the floor. He wanted to scream No! It’s not you, it’s me! It could never be you, I just want to give you everything!
“Bernard…” Tim said, “No, you’re perfect I just….”
Tim had to rack around his brain because, what was the problem? What was it that was making this so hard?
Bernard made Tim safer than he had ever felt. Tim had even gotten comfortable enough with having his shirt off in front of Bernard, scars and all. For the longest time he was afraid that they would disgust Bernard and he would go running.
Until one day they were at the beach, and Bernard wanted to race Tim to the ocean. The day was so good and the sun was high and it smelled like seawater and funnel cake and Tim felt lighter than air. He took off his shirt in an amorous fog, only to freeze when he saw Bernard’s gaze linger on his chest. On his scars. Each one told a story that Bernard wouldn’t be able to hear. Each one a moment from Tim’s past he couldn’t escape.
That was the first time Tim almost had a panic attack in front of Bernard, only for Bernard to do the unthinkable. He raised his shirt over his own head and revealed he too harbored scars. Not as many as Tim, but they were there. It struck Tim then, the pain cult that Bernard was in. That first date. The scars were there, and in that they were the same.
Tim would never forget the moments that came after. Bernard walked up to Tim, gently taking his hand and entwining their fingers before bending down and softly kissing the scar over what used to be Tim’s spleen.
Tim was speechless as Bernard dragged him by the hand into the water. They spent hours swimming, laughing, and splashing each other. Tim’s almost panic attack threatened to drown him, but once he was in the water with Bernard, he was floating.
“Tim…” Bernard started, “I don’t wanna pressure you but, I just have to know. What is it?”
“It’s me.” Tim said, turning away from Bernard. He took a deep breath, trying to regain himself as he felt Bernard’s hand on his arm. There it was again, that feeling of safety that only Bernard could bring. “I…I’m scared. I just wanna be perfect for you, and I don’t know if I can be because I’m newer to this than you are. I mean, I’m not new cause Steph and I have had sex, but…this is different. This is you.”
Bernard raised his arm and pulled Tim into a hug, Tim hugging back as he let himself melt into the embrace. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel Bernard’s arms chase away the fear.
“You deserve perfection and I just don’t know if I can give it to you.” Tim said. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
Bernard kissed Tim again, but less chaotic than last time. This was more measured, more tender, trying to reassure Tim.
“Tim, you could never disappoint me.” Bernard admitted. “And we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“But I want to!” Tim blurted out. And he had. He had known for a while it’s what he wanted. He could feel his face burn up, blood rushing to it as Bernard looked at him with a devilish smirk.
“You do?” Bernard asked, playfully.
“Yeah.” Tim replied, breathlessly. “I do, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared.”
Bernard pulled back and cupped Tim’s head, touching their foreheads together. It was something Bernard did often, and it made Tim giddy to be so close to him.
“If you want, let’s just try stuff and see where it goes.” Bernard said, “We can stop whenever you want, I promise. I want you to feel comfortable, that’s the most important thing here and—”
Tim captured Bernard’s mouth in his own, barely able to contain himself. He wasn’t lying when he said he wanted this, and when Bernard’s hands returned to Tim’s waist, he knew this was right.
Bernard kissed Tim desperately as he fumbled with Tim’s shirt, Tim taking it off himself before taking off Bernard’s in one swift motion. Bernard's hands went all across Tim’s back as he pushed Tim back onto his old bed. Tim was covered entirely in Bernard’s body, nails scraping skin as his breath hitched.
Blood rushed, wanting to burst through the surface and set Tim on fire from the inside. Bernard’s skin was so hot it was almost scalding. Some deep part of Tim, curious and confused, wondered aloud if Bernard would leave scars on his skin from burning him with his touch. That same part of Tim hoped the answer would be yes.
Bernard’s hands explored and Tim’s hands followed, each step taking them somewhere they hadn’t been before. Bernard’s skin against his own created a low buzz inside Tim, his hummingbird heart speeding like never before as he tried to ground himself in anything before he got lost in the moment. Lost in the heat of Bernard’s skin and how electric it felt against his own. Then Bernard’s hands and lips went to where Tim only dreamed of and…
How could it be this good?
How could it possibly be this good?
Tim didn’t deserve this. This was too good and he didn’t do anything to—
“Oh, Tim,” moaned Bernard, his name like a whispered prayer escaping from his lips.
And wonder of all wonders, that’s when Tim Drake finally stopped thinking.
………………………………………………
Tim was on cloud nine, his head empty as he descended the Wayne Manor stairs to get some water. He forgot how important hydrating was when doing this since it had been a while, and with Bernard waiting for him, he wanted to make sure they were good to go for round two.
It was incredible and better than Tim could imagine. Sure, he was sore, but it was a good sore. He always knew that Bernard would be his biggest weakness, but now he was certain of it. Normally he’d be freaking out about all the ways it would go wrong. But Tim, a blissful smile on his face and the memories of the last hour playing on his head on repeat, couldn’t be bothered to care about that right now. It was the perfect night.
Unfortunately, by the laws that governed Tim’s life, that just meant the hammer was about to drop.
“Goddamn Tim, put some clothes on.”
Tim blinked himself back into awareness as he entered the kitchen, staring at Jason looking at him with an eyebrow raised. The kitchen light was on and they were alone. Tim didn’t realize Jason was home, thinking everyone went on patrol after dinner. Did he hear them? That would’ve been embarrassing.
“Uh…” Tim sputtered, unable to get words out.
“You could at least cover yourself.” Jason said, wincing and looking away at Tim while shaking his head, laughing a little bit. Tim wondered what he was talking about, only to feel a slight breeze and…
Oh. Oh no.
He looked down and yup, he was in such an intense afterglow state that he completely forgot to put clothes on. And here he was, in the Wayne Manor kitchen, naked as the day he was born (and probably as sticky), with his older brother Jason looking at him in judgment.
If there was ever a time for a nuke to hit Gotham City, it would be now.
“So you’re definitely a bottom, right?”
Yup. Definitely now.
“Tim?”
Tim moaned painfully, rubbing his eyes as he searched his memories for who he fought last night and if he won or not. He had to have had a rough night on patrol. It was the only explanation for how god awful he felt. His head was pounding and that voice, normally so soft and filled with honey in its tonality, was as loud as a screech. Tim felt his full body sweating, definitely staining his sheets and…
Wait. These were not his 600 thread count eucalyptus bedsheets nor his memory foam mattress. It was springy and stiff, almost unbearably so. The bedsheets might as well have been sandpaper.
And that damned sunlight that was burning itself on his skin. He felt it on his left side, not his right side like normal. Did he fall asleep at the foot of the bed?
“So...is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
Tim looked up, willing his eyes to open despite the pain, and there he stood. Arms crossed and an amused grin on his face. Surrounding him were wooden shelves with action figures and posters of superheroes. A giant chalkboard with strings and photos pasted onto it stood off to the right, a proud murder board.
“This…this isn’t my room.” Tim said, the realization hitting him. It was all but confirmed once he took in the person standing in front of him. He was wearing a Robin tank top, half his face obscured by his messy blonde bangs that were getting too long (that Tim would’ve swept behind his ear and out of his beautiful face if he had the ability to move). It was his boyfriend Bernard.
“Genius observation.” Bernard said, “Miss me that much?”
“What…what’s going on?” Tim asked, slowly sitting up despite the blood in his veins feeling like poison. When the bedsheets pooled around his hip, he realized he was naked in Bernard’s bed. “Where are my clothes?”
“In the wash.” Bernard said, sitting down at the edge of the bed, “I found you naked in my bed with your Robin costume on my floor. You’re lucky I know how to wash it costume now. Based off the old dried bloodstains, I almost feel like you should just leave it with me permanently. You obviously don't know how to take care of it.”
His Robin outfit? Tim searched his bare chest and then the rest of his body for any visible scars. For any sign of what happened to him last night that would explain his current whereabouts and pain.
“You’re fine.” Bernard said, putting his hand on Tim’s arm and reading his mind. He wasn’t a mind reader, he just knew Tim that well. “Trust me, I checked you for injuries when I came back and saw you here this morning.”
“How long have I been here for?” Tim asked, looking up at Bernard. His hair, normally a beautiful sight, was reflecting off sunlight and causing Tim’s eyes undue distress.
“I got back an hour ago.” Bernard said, “I told you that I was staying at my friends last night, but I guess you wanted to see me immediately to tell me what you wanted to tell me. I’m flattered by the way, but you could’ve just waited to do it in person instead of drunk voicemail.”
Drunk.
Yup, that explains the reason that Tim would rather be dead than alive for another second. He was hungover. Massively.
“What voicemail?” Tim asked, genuinely curious as his memories of the previous night were pitch black and empty. It was a void in his head weighed down by the endless hole in his chest as he started to fear what exactly happened.
Bernard smiled as he took his phone out and held it between him and Tim. There was a beep and then suddenly Tim’s voice came through, words slurred and way too loud. The wind was whipping around him, as if he called when he was grappling as Robin.
Heeeeeeeey baby.
“Oh no.” Tim said, covering his face in embarrassment as Bernard just laughed.
I missed your sexyy face and I want to shee you tonight. I’m calling cause uh—AH!—Sorry, unrelated. I’m doing shecret Robin stuff that you cant tell anyone about okay? Promise? Ok, good. Hey, remember when you told me you knew I was Robin and I had a panic attack and you told me you loved me? I still think about that like, all the time! And it was a month ago. And I still haven't said I love you back which…why? I love you, SOOOOO much. And I want to tell you in pershon because I love you. And I’ll scream it from the Gotham rooftops which, I think i might. I LOVE YOU BERNARD.
Sorry, I’m a teensy weensy bit drunk. I decided to tell you tonight but I also realized I’m kind of a little bitch so I needed a lil liquid courage, if you catch my drift. But wait SHIT I just said it. No, it has to be in person! Ignore this and uh…I’m coming over. So I’ll see you later? Love you Bern WAIT NO I MEAN—
BEEP
Tim remained silent as did Bernard, the sounds of birds chirping in the window poking at his hangover like a woodpecker.
“And I guess…” Bernard started, “You saw I wasn’t here and decided to wait for me. Naked, for some reason. Not that I’m complaining.”
“Kill me now.” moaned Tim.
They sat in sustained silence, Bernard moving his hand to go on Tim’s back, feeling the rise and fall of his chest.
“Do you want me to get you water?” Bernard asked, concerned in his voice. Always concern for Tim.
“I’m sorry.” Blurted out Tim, finally uncovering his face from his hands. “I just…you shouldn’t have to see me like this or have gotten that or had that be the first time you ever hear me say I love you or—”
“Tim.” Bernard said, moving his hand to be on Tim’s shoulder to bring him close, Tim leaning his head on Bernard, “You don’t have to apologize for anything. Honestly, you’re kinda cute when you’re drunk. Also, I’m a big fan of you naked so, that’s also nothing you gotta apologize for.”
Tim picked his head up and saw Bernard smiling at him. Cuddling himself further into Bernard’s arm, seeing that comforting smile, he felt so safe. Like he could do anything.
Which is lucky because there was something he needed to do.
“I do love you.” Tim said. He had felt it for a while. He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it, and he’s known for a while how he felt about Bernard. “And I’m terrified that I do.”
Bernard pulled back a bit, eyebrow raised in curiosity. “Why?”
“Because you know what my life is, Bear.” Tim said, “It’s not safe. You know that. You've seen my scars. You’ve stitched me up a good enough amount of times to know.”
“This isn't news to me Tim.” Bernard said, “I knew what I was getting into when our first date was interrupted by chaos monsters. Realizing you were Robin changed nothing.”
“Yeah, but I’ve changed.” Tim said, “Because of you. And I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”
“Changed how?” Bernard asked, “Other than the obvious, at least.”
Tim plopped back onto Bernard’s bed, looking up at the ceiling and wishing that he was in his 600 thread count eucalyptus bedsheets.
“Old me would’ve broken up with you already.” Tim said, his words hanging in the air. Bernard wasn’t taken aback at all. He didn’t even flinch. “I would’ve cared about you too much to make you deal with being with me. But now I guess I’m being selfish because I’m with you.”
Tim closed his eyes and heard Bernard take a deep breath, wondering if he finally said the thing that would drive Bernard away from him. He looked up at him and saw Bernard glaring at him.
“Tim, can you do me a huge favor?” Bernard asked, his gaze steeling.
“Anything.” Tim replied.
“...Shut the fuck up.” Bernard said, Tim’s breath being taken away from him. “Stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders for one goddamn day. You’re not selfish for wanting to be happy, Tim. This might surprise you but I actually enjoy spending time with you. Like, a lot. Being with you is the happiest I’ve ever been. You always tell me how happy I make you, but have you thought that maybe you make me happy also? That I actively enjoy spending time with you? If you broke up with me, I wouldn’t have let you. I would’ve fought for you, Tim. Because now that I know what it’s like to love you, I never wanna go back.”
Tim just froze, never hearing Bernard like this. Never hearing him say these words, so angrily and so strongly. And part of him didn’t mind. Part of his chest warmed at this, at knowing that Bernard loved him enough to be mad at him for that.
“I never wanna go back either.” Tim said, “Which is why I’m telling you I love you now. Because it’s true. I love you, and I love being loved by you.”
“Good.” Bernard said, his angered expression melting into his usual easygoing smile. “Glad we got that settled.”
Bernard grabbed Tim and pulled him up to him, holding him again. Silence stilled between them, Tim just feeling Bernard’s arm on him and melting into the touch. The hangover was still raging, but the warmth in his chest was somehow subduing it.
“I should…probably put some clothes on, huh?” Tim asked. Bernard just giggled, as did he.
“Fuck no.” Bernard said, voice heady. Tim glanced over but saw Bernard for only a second before being pushed down onto the bed, Bernard beginning to kiss down his neck. Tim’s eyes rolled back into his head as his breathing accelerated, the last of which carried three words with them.
“I love you.”
Bernard checked his phone a third time, making sure he was going in the right direction. This neighborhood was familiar but for reasons he couldn’t pinpoint. His mind was too busy being scattered by Tim’s text saying they needed to talk.
That asshole better not be trying to break up with him after everything. He wouldn’t allow it. Bernard would call Jason or Dick or anyone to tie up Tim and hold him in a room until he came to his senses. Bernard would force his eyes open and make him watch a slideshow of their relationship until Tim realized how stupid of an idea breaking up was. Torture? A little bit, but it would make a cute story one day.
He walked up the outdoor stairs as a familiar sense of deja vu washed over him. It wasn’t until he was in the elevator that he started realizing where he was, and when he walked through the double doors, his suspicions were confirmed.
It was the same restaurant from their first date. Well, unofficial first date. Bernard thought it was a date and Tim didn’t, which was still funny to him. Either way, it was rudely interrupted by Bernard getting kidnapped by chaos monsters. Seeing as how he was over a year gone from the pain cult, he hadn’t been worried about them for a while.
A year…Wait, had it really been a year?
Was…was this…?
“Tim?” Bernard called out, looking around at the empty restaurant. Tim told him to meet him here, but there was no Tim. He was probably late again, as was his MO. Bernard had gotten used to it for better or worse. Once he uncovered that Tim was Robin, he stopped caring as much. Secretly, he wished that he could be as big a priority to Tim as the city of Gotham, but he knew that was unrealistic. He wouldn’t dare bring it up because he knew he would rather have a fraction of Tim’s heart than none of it at all. He would take whatever Tim could give.
Still, Tim reserving the whole place for them on their one year anniversary of their first date…that still set loose butterflies in Bernard’s chest.
The sound of something breaking nearby, however, muted the flutter. The flashbacks came back to him. The chaos monsters, the cult.
Was it happening again?
Bernard started trembling, clutching himself and willing himself to calm down. They were gone and they weren’t coming back. They weren’t here to take him away. They weren’t here to take Tim away.
“...Bernard?”
Bernard looked over in the direction of the weak voice that called his name, recognizing it immediately as Tim, but he was nowhere to be seen. Bernard ran, scanning around for Tim until he saw a table knocked over, glass and ceramic shards glittering the ground. There were spots of blood and a small candle on the ground. Nothing around it was flammable so it wasn’t gonna burn anything down, but it laid sadly to burn and wither away into a puddle of useless wax.
“What the…” Bernard didn’t know what he was looking at, until he followed the trail of blood with his eyes to his black haired boyfriend with a mask sitting against the wall, hand to his side where a spot of blood was growing. “Holy—Tim!”
Bernard ran up to Tim, scanning him and seeing him clearly in the small candle light. There were bruises on his beautiful face, a blood splotch growing on his chest, and yet weirdly of all, Tim was smiling as he looked up at Bernard.
“Happy anniversary?” he said, more of a question than a statement.
“Tim, what the fuck?” Bernard asked, “Are you okay?”
“Very much not.” Tim said, wincing as Bernard moved his hand and put a nearby napkin on the wound to get it to clot. “But you should see—”
“The other guy, yeah I get it.” Bernard said with a shake of his head. He didn’t even want to know what had happened.
After Bernard had let Tim know he knew he was Robin, he wanted to hear everything. Even if it broke his heart at hearing how Tim had gotten injured, he needed to know. After a while, they stories all blended together and he stopped being as worried. He trusted Tim to be capable (most of the time) and figured that if he needed to know the details, Tim would’ve told him. Right now, he truly didn’t care about the details. All he cared about was his boyfriend bleeding next to him and the destroyed candlelit dinner.
“You did all of this for me?”
“It was nothing.” Tim said, sweat running down his face. “You deserve more than I can give, but I figured for our first anniversary it would be nice to have a re-do of our first date. You even wore your cute jacket.”
Bernard didn’t even realize it but he had chosen the same white jacket from their first date. Tim had given it to him as a gift after a few months, having re-bought it after Bernard lost it in the business with the cult. White was definitely not the color to be wearing now as a few drops of Tim’s blood had gotten on it from holding him so close, spreading like ink blots.
“I’m sorry.” Tim said, “I ruined it.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.” Bernard said, “Who’s coming to pick you up?”
Tim blushed a bit as he laughed under his breath, looking away. Bernard followed his gaze to their destroyed dinner. “I didn’t call anyone because I thought I could make it work and I didn’t realize how deep the wound was.”
Bernard shook his head as he took Tim’s communicator from him, already being well versed enough to know what needed to be done. “Barbara, do you hear me?”
“...Bernard?” the voice came through, “What are you doing? Aren’t you and Tim supposed to be having a nice dinner? Happy anniversary by the way.”
“First of all, thank you. Second of all, he’s very bloody which is putting a damper on the mood. Can you get him extricated and sent to Leslie’s? I’ll be right next to him.”
“Oh for the love of, put Tim on!”
Bernard gave it back to Tim, a devilish smile on his face. “She wants to talk to you.”
Tim reluctantly took it, getting the exact earful he was expecting for what he did. Someone would be by soon to help pick up Tim. Hopefully Dick or Kate and not Jason. After Barbara ended the communication, they sat in silence with their backs against the wall. Bernard reached for Tim's hand, entwining their fingers and keeping him company.
“When I apologized for ruining it, I didn’t mean your jacket.” Tim said, “I meant, sorry for ruining everything. We only ever get one first year anniversary and now ours will forever be the one where I ruined it by coming in with a stab wound.”
“I mean it’s not like you stabbed yourself, Tim.” Bernard said, “Plus it’s the thought that counts.”
Tim rested his head on Bernard’s shoulder, Bernard turning and kissing his forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Bernard said, “And when you’re feeling better and all stitched up then we’ll do a re-do of our anniversary date like you did a re-do of our first date. You’re buying, by the way.”
“Of course.” Tim said, nuzzling himself in Bernard’s neck. He might’ve still been bleeding and feeling like shit, but being here with Bernard was perfect enough, even if it was greatly imperfect.
They’d have more anniversaries, he was sure of it. He would make it a point to never show up bloody to another one again.
“Is the oven pre-heated?” Tim asked, finishing the batter. Bernard was leaning against the oven watching him, just enjoying seeing Tim in his natural habitat.
He had gotten better at baking, wanting to improve for Bernard. Tim was happy as he held the spoon up to Bernard for him to lick, smiling as he put the cupcakes in tins, and excitedly talking about other recipes he saw online for them to try. Bernard started daydreaming about opening up a bakery with Tim one day maybe, where Tim could cook and Bernard could…well he could be with Tim and be the taste tester. That was the perfect life for him.
But it was a fantasy. There would never be the time with Tim’s life as Robin and his Wayne Enterprise executive job. With Bernard starting his certification to become an EMT soon, of which Tim was super supportive, the bakery would be a pipe dream.
And so Bernard kept the Gaykery locked up in his mind, but maybe one day he’d revisit it.
“Yup.” Bernard answered, checking the oven and seeing it at 350 degrees. He stepped away to let Tim do his job. Tim just looked up at him, grinning so brightly it was hypnotizing.
“Perfect, these are gonna be amazing.” Tim said, bringing the cupcakes over to the stove as the pasta was heating up on the stove.
They decided to cook dinner, dessert and all today. It was a lot of dishes and a lot of work, but Tim wanted to try more cooking that wasn’t baking. They were making squash gnocchi with a blue velvet cupcake dessert. There was a lot going on but Tim looked like he had stuff mostly handled.
“Need me to do anything?” Bernard asked. Tim looked over at him as he opened the oven, smiling at him and winking.
“Nah, I got it all handled.” Tim said, slamming the oven door but not realizing that a dish towel had fallen through the crack, the door slightly ajar.
“What now?” Bernard asked. “Those need to bake and the pasta needs to cook, right?”
“I can think of a few ways to pass the time.” Tim said, a smirk as he crowded Bernard against the sink. Bernard put his hands on Tim’s hips as Tim put his arms around Bernard's neck, bringing his face closer and pressing their lips together.
They remained like that blissfully for about…two minutes and twenty three seconds before the smell of smoke and fire alarm rudely interrupted them.
………………………………………………
“So let me get this straight.” The firefighter from the Gotham Fire Department started. There was one other inspecting the kitchen fire. Tim would need to buy a new stove/oven, and that’s to say nothing of the ruined pasta and cupcakes. “A dish towel fell in the oven when you closed it but you didn’t notice.”
“...yes.” answered Tim, bashfully as he was redder than a tomato of embarrassment. Bernard was laughing, arms crossed at the ridiculousness of everything. That, and how cute Tim looked when he blushed. He wasn’t upset at all, he was amused even if his hunger had grown.
“And you didn’t notice until it became a full blown fire because…?”
“Sorry, that was me.” Bernard said, raising his hand unbothered, “I distracted him with my feminine wiles.”
Tim just choked on his spit, still red as he looked away. Bernard quickly grazed his hand on Tim’s back, rubbing circles to get him to calm down. Oddly enough, Bernard could feel that Tim wasn’t tense.
“Uh huh…” the firefighter said, shaking his head. “Just…listen Mr. Drake, fires are serious business. If you’re gonna be exerting a kitchen unit that much, you have to be careful and observant. This could’ve been far worse.”
“I’m sorry.” Tim said, biting his lip. Bernard was laughing and even though the situation was awkward, Tim wasn’t bothered. He felt lighter than air. This wasn’t something that happened to Robin. This was a normal thing that happened to Tim Drake and Bernard, and it was funny. It was awkward. It was…nice? Would’ve been nicer without the fire, but Tim still didn’t mind. That surprised him the most. He supposed he must be growing. “It won’t happen again. I’ll be more careful next time.”
“I should hope so.” The firefighter replied. He proceeded to ask Tim and Bernard some follow up questions before leaving them in the apartment. Their stomachs were still rumbling from being unfed, but there was no lingering awkwardness from the kitchen fire.
“Guess we’ll never open our gaykery.” Bernard shrugged, “We’d be way too easily distracted.”
“Our what?” Tim asked. He moved to sit on the couch, glancing over at Bernard.
“Don’t worry about it.” Bernard said, joining him. “Shall we order a pizza and watch a movie about fires or something?”
Tim looked up, a grin growing on his face. “I thought you’d never ask."
Tim desperately checked the time. He was running late, again.
Not this. He promised it wouldn’t be this. It couldn’t be this. He was running on Gotham rooftops, Oracle feeding him directions.
“I see a bank robbery in progress on 14th.” Tim said. “Anyone else in the area?”
“Black Bat.” Oracle said, “Sending out now. ETA Two minutes. Tim, stop looking for things to distract you and go already.”
“Sorry, force of habit.” Tim replied. He had a full backpack with him, everything he needed in there. He was running faster than he ever had and he knew he’d be feeling it tomorrow but he didn’t care. He’d pay King Shark back one day for distracting him like this. Of all days, why today.
Tim refused to be late for this. If he did, it’s not that Bernard wouldn’t forgive him. He always would because he was Bernard. The problem was Tim would never be able to forgive himself. How could he ever be who Bernard deserves if he couldn’t make it on time to this one thing.
The building was in sight. Tim checked his clock he wasn’t too late. Maybe he would still be in time for—
BOOM
Tim turned to see an explosion off in the distance, sirens starting to pierce the air distantly. There was a fight going on, some people already there. Tim didn’t know about it.
“Fuck.” Tim said, “No, no no not now.”
He already moved his body, knowing he had to go but…he was so close. There’s no way he would have time to both deal with that crisis and also make it on time to his destination. He dreaded this choice.
“Tim, listen to me.” Oracle’s voice called out. “If you go, you’ll regret it.”
“There could be people in danger. I have to—”
“TIM! There’s other people to handle it. You don’t need to do everything yourself. Trust everyone and just go because you’re already late.”
Tim never wanted to be in this position. Choose Gotham or his relationship. He hated it because it wasn’t a choice, not really. Tim didn’t want to choose Gotham. To him, that was something he had to choose where as his destination was what he wanted to choose. Because Bernard had been there for him so much for no reason, and had stuck by him all this time. Bernard always put Tim first but there was yet to be an instance where Tim put Bernard first. It wasn’t fair at all. Tim didn’t deserve him at all.
But he was done acting like he couldn’t try to deserve him.
“Send someone.” Tim said as continued going in his original direction. It took less than a minute for him to land on the rooftop he was rushing to. “I’m going offline. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for anything. Now go have fun, Tim. Tell him congrats from me.”
Shoving his Red Robin suit in a backpack and leaving it hidden on the rooftop, Tim grabbed the things he needed and entered through the rooftop emergency exit, rushing down. He ran down the stairs two at a time, hoping he could find the right room.
Once he was on the third floor, he could hear distant voices.
“....and that’s why, we’re here today to honor the future of Gotham. To honor those who have chosen to put their lives on the line so that others may live.”
Bingo.
Tim burst through the doors loudly by kicking it out of instinct. He didn’t mean to, but the adrenaline coursing through his veins was on overdrive. That, and each of his hands was occupied. One with a balloon, the other with a foam finger.
Inside there weren’t that many people. Maybe thirty people watching the ceremony…or at least they were before Tim burst in dramatically. Now, everyone was watching him and he suddenly felt sheepish, until his eyes met the one person who was most excited to see him.
Bernard, in his blue EMT suit, beaming at Tim.
Tim blushed as he took a seat, clutching a balloon that said HAPPY GRADUATION in one hand and waving his foam finger with the other. Bernard’s eyes didn’t leave his, the two just smiling at each other goofily. Bernard laughed as Tim waving the foam finger in the air.
The Chief kept giving a speech before Bernard and his fellow graduates stood up. Tim was so proud. He had never been more proud of anyone in all his life. When Bernard told him he wanted to be an EMT, Tim was nothing but supportive. Seeing him here, so happy and successful was all the world to Tim. He held up his phone and began recording the ceremony, tying the balloon to his chair so he’d have a free hand. He wanted to capture this moment and replay it forever.
When the chief started going down the line and congratulating each one, calling out their names to the applause of the audience, anticipation swelled within Tim.
“Bernard Dowd.”
Tim stood up on his chair, yelling loudly as he held the foam finger up with the other hand, everyone staring at him confused (and a few smiles as well as a few glares). None of them mattered to him. All that mattered was Bernard smiling as he got his badge, eyes not leaving Tim as he laughed and blushed, shaking his head. Tim could tell how happy he was and that made him feel great. He did that.
Maybe he could be someone who deserved Bernard.
When the ceremony ended, Tim ran up to the stage with his arms outstretched for Bernard to jump into them. He almost knocked the both of them back but they didn’t care, just embracing in the middle of everything as the other graduates started hugging and taking pictures with their families. Bernard started kissing Tim’s forehead, his nose, his cheek, his lips. Peppering his face with kisses.
“Look at you, finally on time to something.” Bernard said, holding Tim so close he might explode.
“I couldn't be late, not to this.” Tim said, “I’m so fucking proud of you, Bear. I wanted everyone to see that you’re mine and be jealous.”
“They definitely were.” Bernard said, “I didn’t see any other foam fingers here.”
“What can I say?” shrugged Tim, “I wanted to make sure everyone knew I was your biggest fan.”
They remained like that, words settling as they just embraced before they broke apart, Tim handing Bernard his balloon.
“For little old me?” Teased Bernard, “You shouldn't have. When I get my first on call assignment I’ll think of this balloon and the pressure to live up to it.”
Tim opened his mouth to say something before the memory of the explosion repeated in his head. “Uh, heads up there might’ve been an explosion on the way here so…that assignment might come earlier than expected. Looks like you might have your work cut out for you.”
“Sweetie, I’ve stitched you up a bunch.” Bernard said, “Trust me, I knew what I was getting into. Where was the explosion from?”
“Don’t know.” Tim shrugged, “Someone else took care of it. I had more important things to deal with.”
Bernard kissed Tim again, deeply. He had never been this happy. He didn’t think it was possible to be this happy.
“Where do you wanna go for your graduation lunch?” Tim asked, “On me?”
Bernard pulled back and cupped Tim’s head, putting their foreheads together. Tim felt safe already, and he knew that Bernard would be an incredible EMT because of it. Gotham was in good hands.
“Wherever you want.” Bernard said, “I’m happy anywhere as long as it’s with you.”
“I’m happy anywhere, as long as it’s with you.” Tim repeated, stirring in his sleep. Bernard looked down at him, awake. He bent down and kissed Tim's forehead.
They still had some time left on their flight and his shoulder was starting to cramp, but he didn’t care. He would let his bones break and his skin rot if it meant having Tim Drake sleep soundly in his arms.
And realizing that was gonna be their lives now? If that didn’t put a massive smile on Bernard's face.