Work Text:
“How do I look?”
Shane turned away from the skeleton he was hanging on the wall to find Ilya standing in the hallway in full costume.
“Jesus,” Shane gawked.
“Good, right?” Ilya replied with a smug smile. He stood with arms outstretched, showing off his tight leather pants and loose black linen top. His golden curls were pulled back in a headband and ponytail, while his eyes hid behind a thin black mask. “Everything you were hoping for?”
“Mm, yes.” Ilya looked fucking hot. “I don’t remember Westley looking this slutty in the movie though.”
Ilya had, of course, picked a shirt with an unnecessarily deep v-neck, leaving most of his chest bare. Not that Shane was complaining.
“Is Halloween, yes? Perfect time to dress up as a sexy version of your husband's first crush. Just wait until you see the sword I bought for it.” Ilya winked.
Shane laughed and stepped down from the stool he had been standing on. “Looking forward to it.”
“Now, time for you to stop decorating and get ready for the party, Buttercup. Our teammates will be here soon.”
Shane glanced down at his watch. Oh shit. Ilya was right. He better start getting dressed.
Tonight, Shane and Ilya were hosting the second annual Centaur’s Halloween party at their place and Shane was excited. Well, a little anxious, but mostly excited. His costume was a bit outside his comfort zone, but Ilya had been so excited about the idea that Shane had let himself get swept up too.
Ilya had first broached the subject of a couple’s costume a few weeks ago on a ride home from the Centaur’s arena.
“Come on - would be fun! I could be Batman and you could be my Robin.”
“Absolutely not. I am not your sidekick, Ilya.”
“Does not have to be Batman and Robin.” Ilya waved his hand dismissively. Then his face lit up with an idea and he slammed his hands against the steering wheel.
“I got it! We should go as the greatest movie couple of all time.”
“I’m going to regret asking this, but who do you think is the greatest movie couple of all time?”
Ilya flashed him a grin and sideways glance. “Dom and Letty, of course.”
That made Shane laugh. “You’re an idiot.”
“That is mean, Shane. I do not make fun of the things you like,” Ilya said with mock offense.
“What? Yes you do. Like all of the time.”
“If you say so,” Ilya shrugged. “Then who do you think is the greatest movie couple of all time?”
Shane took a second to think about that. He wasn’t great at remembering the names of characters from movies. “I don’t know. Maybe one of the couples from the movies I watched as a kid. I definitely had crushes on a few of those Disney princes - not that I realized they were crushes at the time.”
The confession made Ilya giddy. “Yes? Tell me who. I will dress like him for Halloween.”
Shane could feel his cheeks flush. “Well, there were a few, but the first one I remember was not actually a Disney prince.”
Ilya nodded, encouraging Shane to continue.
“I had a huge crush on Westley from The Princess Bride.”
Ilya beamed. “That is very cute, Shane. I will definitely dress up as Westley at the Halloween party. I will look so sexy.”
“And you,” Ilya added, “will be my Princess Buttercup.”
Shane wrinkled his nose. “I don’t know about that. I’m not really interested in wearing a dress.”
And he thought I don’t want any of the dumbasses on our team to think I am mocking men who do.
“Is fine. You can be Prince Buttercup then. Think how hot we will look together!”
Shane remained unconvinced.
“Come on, Shane,” Ilya lowered his voice to a rumble. “Don’t you want to get fucked by the Dread Pirate Roberts?”
Thankfully, Ilya kept his eyes on the road so he didn’t see Shane’s face burning red. Shane didn’t want to admit it outloud, but he was very interested in this hypothetical scenario.
“ If I did go as Prince Buttercup, what would I wear?” Shane said as they pulled into the driveway of their Ottawa home.
“I am not sure. We will figure something out. You will look very good in a crown.”
“And there it is.”
“What?” Ilya asked innocently as he put the car into park.
“You just want to feel like you’re fucking a prince.”
“Maybe,” Ilya said with a sly smile before leaning in for a quick kiss and a laugh.
***
Shane was beautiful. He was wearing a bright red tunic with large flared sleeves that swirled around him every time Ilya spun him on the dance floor. Underneath the tunic, he wore tight leather pants matching Ilya’s own and his long dark hair, now well past his shoulders, was held back with a gold and pearl crown. Stunning.
Ilya had never been able to get Shane to dance this much before. Not even at their wedding. Maybe it was the costume giving him confidence. Maybe it was being surrounded by teammates and their partners. Maybe it was the alcohol. Whatever the reason, Ilya was having a great night - and judging by Shane’s bright eyes and wide smile, he was too.
As the song changed to something sexier, Ilya gave Shane a little half spin, put an arm around his waist, and pulled Shane’s back flush against his chest, his ass pressed against his thighs. God, Ilya loved that he could just touch Shane - be with Shane - openly now.
“Hi,” Shane said, twisting his head back to look at Ilya through long eyelashes.
“Hi.”
Ilya dipped his head to kiss the crook of Shane’s neck, then trailed kisses along its side until he reached Shane’s ear and whispered, “You look really fucking hot tonight.”
Shane's ears pinked. "You look really fucking good too, but if you keep kissing me like that things are going to get uncomfortable for everyone."
"Who cares? Is our house." Ilya kissed the soft spot below Shane's ear. "We can kick them out whenever we want."
Shane pushed back from Ilya, turning to face him with a smile.
"No, I'm having fun and despite how horny you are, I know you are having fun too."
Shane was right, but that didn't stop Ilya from giving him a dramatic sigh. "Fine, I can wait."
Leaning closer, Shane whispered "It's really nice to be at a team party together. To host a team party together."
Ilya beamed. "It is."
Then he extended a hand toward Shane. "Come on, let's get drinks and fresh air."
Shane took his hand and let Ilya lead him out to the patio.
Troy and Harris stood near the drink table, heads close together, laughing about something. Harris was wearing a pink, teddy bear onesie and Troy was wearing a nearly identical blue one. Ilya had no idea what they were supposed to be.
"You two are blocking the drinks," Ilya said as he moved to grab Shane a beer.
"Oh. Sorry Roz." Troy replied as he and Harris shuffled aside.
Ilya handed Shane his beer and started pouring himself a glass of vodka. "Is ok. Are you two having fun?"
Harris and Troy gave each other a coded look and started laughing again. Okay .
"Ya, I think everyone's having a great time," Harris said. "Well, everyone except Bood. He's upset about your, and I quote, 'cheap ass grill'."
Harris nodded towards Bood, who was standing beside their grill, tongs in hand. Bood had volunteered to barbecue for the party, but based on his current expression, he may be regretting that choice.
"Good. You two keep having fun."
Shane tugged on Ilya's hand. "Come on. Let's go find a place to sit. My legs need a rest."
They walked towards the fire pit on the other end of the patio. Though it was surrounded by seating, every chair was occupied.
Ilya cleared his throat and yelled, "Listen up fives, a ten is speaking."
"Jesus christ," Shane muttered beside him.
"My husband needs to sit down so one of you needs to move ."
"Fuck off, Rozanov," Tanner Dillon scoffed. "Your husband is an all-star hockey player. I think he can handle standing for a bit."
"Is this how you treat your captain? Your hosts? In their own home?" Ilya gestured wildly at their surroundings.
A little too wildly.
Vodka sloshed out of his glass and into the the fire, causing flames to lash out from the pit. Unfortunately, one of the flames leapt so high he caught the bottom tip of Shane's sleeve.
"Fuuccckkkk. Fuck." Shane flailed his arm in panic.
Ilya grabbed his arm and knelt in front of him. "Stay still."
Using his own sleeves, Ilya smothered the small flame on Shane's.
"Sorry," said Ilya with a sheepish grin. "Are you okay?"
Shane nodded with a hand over his heart, clearly trying to calm himself down.
"Here," Wyatt said, rising from his seat. "Take my seat before you set your husband on fire, again, and ruin our chances of winning the cup."
"Thank you, Hazy."
Ilya sat and pulled Shane onto his lap.
"Are you sure you are okay, sweetheart?" Ilya asked quietly. “Not burned?”
"No, I'm fine. Just singed the bottom of my sleeve."
Ilya wrapped his arms around Shane's waist, tugging him closer. As Shane rested his head on Ilya's shoulder, he whispered, “I think I'm a bit drunk."
"I noticed," Ilya chuckled and kissed the top of his head. "Me too."
While Shane got pulled into a conversation with a few of the rookies about managing public expectations, Ilya paused to soak in the moment. The man he loved was warm in his lap wearing a costume that matched his own. They were hosting a party for their team in their home. And Anya, who had been unsuccessfully begging Bood for some barbecue chicken, was now curled up at Ilya’s feet. A perfect moment.
***
As the night grew later, the crowd began to thin. It had been a fun night, but Shane was ready for him and Ilya to have the house to themselves again.
“Good party boys.” Bood slapped Ilya on the back. “But I need to get back to Cassie and Milo.”
“Thanks for taking care of the food,” Shane said.
“No problem. Just promise me that you two will buy a better grill sometime soon.”
Shane laughed. “We will.”
“Oh, and I didn’t get a chance to clean the grill after cooking - so you will need to take care of that.”
“We got it from here.” Shane said with a nod. “Good night, Bood. Tell Cassie we said hi.”
Ilya, who was leaning against Shane, waved at Bood as he walked towards his car, leaving the two of them alone.
“Let’s move inside,” Ilya suggested, putting his arm around Shane’s shoulder. “Is getting cold out here.”
Without a word, Shane turned to face Ilya, wrapped his arm around his neck, and kissed him beneath the dark October skies. Ilya sank one of his hands into Shane’s hair and eagerly kissed him back.
“This was a perfect night,” Shane whispered. “Well, except for when you set my costume on fire.”
“Mmm. Sorry,” Ilya tipped Shane’s head back for a deeper kiss.
After a few moments, Ilya nipped his lower lip and pulled back with a mischievous grin. “So are you ready to get fucked by the Dread Pirate Roberts?”
“Mmm. Maybe.” Shane laughed against his lips. “Just be careful with that sword, you keep poking me with it.”
Ilya gave him stupid grin. “Shane…”
“Yes, I heard it. Shut up.”
“Why don’t you make -” Ilya started, but he was interrupted by Anya barking loudly and sprinting towards the now-darkened end of the patio.
What the hell?
Anya had disappeared into the dark, but Shane could still hear her growling wildly at something.
Beside him, Ilya turned on his phone’s flashlight and pointed it in the direction of Anya’s disappearance, illuminating Anya’s tail and four pairs of glowing yellow eyes .
“Jesus fuck!” Shane shrieked.
“What the hell?!”
“Wild animals. We have to go get Anya!” Shane yelled while running towards her, Ilya at his side.
When Shane neared Anya, he could finally make out what she was growling at - a family of raccoons sitting on and around their grill. They must have been picking at the leftover scraps of meat when Anya interrupted them. Now, she and the raccoons were in a standoff. Anya stood about a meter away from them, baring her teeth as she continued to growl. The raccoons were hissing and howling right back.
“Fuck,” Shane said. “Those raccoons are huge! We gotta do something before Anya gets hurt.”
“Like what?!”
“You do something to distract them, while I go grab Anya.”
“How?!”
“Jesus, Ilya, I don’t know. Anything!”
Ilya looked around frantically before his eyes landed on the toy sword on his belt. He unhooked the sword with his left hand and charged towards the raccoons.
“Get. Away. From. Anya. You. Demons.” Ilya punctuated each word with a slash of his sword.
For a moment, Shane was so distracted by Ilya’s efforts to swordfight the raccoons that he forgot he was supposed to grab Anya. He rushed forward, grabbed her collar, and pulled her back into the light. By the time Shane had brought Anya to safety, Ilya had succeeded in scaring the raccoons back into the trees behind their house.
When Ilya turned around to face Shane, he looked absolutely feral. His eyes were wide. His chest heaved. His curls, which had escaped their ponytail, stuck out wildly behind his headband.
“Oh my god.” Shane said before bursting into laughter. “What the fuck was that?”
After a moment, Ilya started cackling along with him. “I do not know. I just grabbed the first thing I saw, but it worked, yes?”
Shane couldn’t disagree with that. The two of them continued laughing as they walked Anya inside.
Once they were safely behind closed doors and cuddled together on their large living room couch, Ilya said “Is just like the movie.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Princess Bride. Westley saves Buttercup from giant rats, yes? Just like I saved you and Anya.”
“Rodents of Unusual Size,” Shane corrected him automatically. “But yes, I guess that’s true.”
“And,” Ilya continued excitedly, “I saved you from fire too!”
Shane responded with a sarcastic huff. “Ya, I don’t think Westley was the one who lit Buttercup on fire in the movie, though.”
Ilya laughed as he pushed Shane down and rolled on top of him.
“I have been a very good Westley. You must be very turned on right now.” Ilya slid one of his hands between their bodies to grip Shane’s cock through his tight leather pants.
Shane gasped at the contact.
Ilya licked the hollow of Shane’s throat. “Now tell me what you want, Buttercup.”
Shane pulled Ilya’s face up to meet his and kissed him. Hard.
“I want to get fucked by my husband.”
“As you wish.”
