Chapter Text
Obi-Wan glances one more time at Bail and Breha, and for a moment, wishes he could stay with them, and rest in the company of friends.
Force, he has been so lonely.
Squeezing Leia’s hand once more, Obi-Wan smiles, and then steps back into his ship.
He enters the coordinates for Tatooine, slowly sinks into his seat, and realizes that although it may have been said in a teasing manner, little Leia is absolutely right----he does need to sleep.
The adrenaline of the past few days is wearing off; the injuries he sustained on Mapuzo have not completely healed; his body is covered with bruises and aches from his duel with Vader; his head is throbbing, and he is completely overwhelmed with thoughts. He may be only 48 years old, but Obi-Wan feels a deep exhaustion in his bones, and is so, so tired.
He should sleep, but he knows it won’t come yet. Not until he is back on Tatooine, and has reassured himself once more that Luke is safe. He feels so guilty that Owen and Beru were forced to fight; that Luke was put in danger; that he wasn’t there to protect them…..
Everything was his fault.
He wasn’t fast enough to spare Leia the danger and darkness she faced on their adventure.
He was too cowardly to help his good friend when first asked.
He couldn’t keep Luke safe.
He couldn’t save Anakin.
Anakin, who had become……a monster.
Yes, everything was his fault.
He may not be able to sleep, but he should try to meditate, so he sinks onto the floor and into the force. As he tries to ease into meditation, he reflects on his failures, on his past, on everything he should try to do in the future……
He should keep an eye on Leia as she ages. He will need to keep an even closer eye on Luke. He knows Bail would appreciate his help fighting the Empire. He should have killed Vader…….No, he should have tried harder to save Anakin.
Everything was his fault.
Obi-Wan gives up on further meditation, and cries, hoping that the Force, or maybe his old master, would finally hear him.
I tried, Master, but I failed.
Being the Chosen One was too much of a burden for Anakin to carry, and I didn’t know how to help him.
I wish I could have taken that from him.
I’m so sorry, Master, I’m so sorry.
Everything was his fault.
Obi-Wan cried himself into a fitful, restless, sleep, plagued by dreams of his past.
Obi-Wan didn’t realize it, but the Force heard him, and it swirled around him in growing intensity, whispering in his ear,
//You were right//
//The burden was too much for him//
//You will have an opportunity to carry it instead//
……..And then Obi-Wan disappears.