Chapter Text
I told Barney Stinson that before he got a yes from me, he'd have to break his golden rule and take me out to dinner first. And that's exactly what I made him do.
So on May 19th 2008, Barney picked me up in a cab and took me to an Italian restaurant, where he'd reserved a table for two at 7pm.
When I opened the cab door, Barney was sat inside on his phone. He looked up at me, somewhat surprised.
"You look... nice."
I knew he was just putting the moves on me until he got his yes. But I still didn't mind.
"Thank you, Barney. So do you."
He nodded, grinning. "So you're really making me take you out for dinner, huh?"
"Put the moves on me all you want, Barney, but I'm not going to be just another one of your girls."
"Really? Well, I'd never have guessed."
I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean. So where are we going?"
"La Siena. Best Italian in New York."
"You really want me to design this building, don't you?"
Barney shrugged, looking sideways at me. "Shut up."
The restaurant was nice. Really nice, actually- we both ate steak, sat on a candlelit table by the window. It was somewhat nicer that Barney even refused to flirt with the hot waitress because of me. And by dessert (tiramisu) I relented and said the three letter word that Barney had been waiting for.
"Yes."
Barney didn't say anything at first, just smiled.
"Well. Barney Stinson always gets the yes."
I shook my head, chuckling.
"Drink for the road?" he asked.
"Drink for the road."
Barney flagged down the hot waitress, asking for "2 scotch- thanks", which we drank while discussing the future of us both working at GNB.
"Bro, it'll be awesome. AWESOME. Think, the two of us at GNB, working together." said Barney.
"Awesome. Dude, we can smoke cigars on our lunch break."
"And drink beer on the roof."
We speculated wildly about everything we'd do while working together over that drink. Then another, and another, and then over the cab ride to Mclaren's.
Our booth was empty when we arrived.
"Weird," Barney said.
"Hm. Drink?"
"Thanks, I'll have another scotch."
"Cool."
I was beginning to notice the difference in the way he was treating me already.
Since I'd said 'yes', he'd not complimented me once, been less attentive, and noticed more cute girls.
Is it weird that I wanted to have that attention again? No. It wasn't anything weird. I'd be the same if it was Marshall who started paying more attention to me, started treating me like I was a girl he wanted to sleep with. It was just nice. That's it. It was nice to have someone... notice everything about me. In all fairness, I'd not been in a relationship since Robin. Maybe I was feeling the effects of not having sex for a while. Maybe he wasn't treating me differently. Maybe I was just imagining it.
I suddenly realised, while ordering a drink, that I was already three whiskies in.
Yeah. Definitely imagining it.
"2 more scotch," I announced, placing them on the table, sitting opposite Barney in the booth.
"Thanks."
"No problemo."
Barney raised a questioning eyebrow. "Tell me you're not already at your picking-up-random-sayings stage of drunkness."
"What?! When have I ever done that?"
"Bro. You do it everytime you're getting wasted. You probably just don't remember it."
"Motion denied."
Barney just smiled and took a sip of his drink.
"Hey, how can I be drunk when we've drank the same amount?" I asked.
"Oh, Ted. Please. The difference is that I can handle scotch and you can't."
"Shut..." I took a sip of my drink, trailing off my sentence and staring at him. "Have you really never taken a girl out to dinner before?"
Barney shrugged. "I guess not, besides Shannon. At least not before I got the yes," he smirked.
"God, you're-" I stopped. "I have no clue how to even describe."
Barney was watching me, amused, like I was a lost child, so I took another drink, frowning.
"Ooh. Hottie at the bar, blonde, big cans. Are you too wasted to be my wingman?"
"An hour ago you were begging me for a yes, and now I'm your wingman."
He stared at me expectantly.
"Let's go, then." I hopped up, approaching the girl at the bar while Barney walked swiftly behind me.
"Hi, can I interest you in Barney Stinson? His moves worked on me so they will probably work on you, too."
Barney grimaced, and the girl smiled awkwardly. "Long story, and not what you think," he said, "I was trying to get him to take a job."
"And I took it. Yay! Another drink, please, Carl, we're celebrating."
"Sure, what can I get you?"
"Um, a drink?" I giggled. "Aren't you a bartender?"
"Sorry, Carl. You can leave that drink." Barney said, watching me in disbelief, while the girl at the bar chuckled. "Ted, you're wasted. And scaring off game. Come upstairs."
"Yes captain." I let myself get pulled away from the bar, eyes widening to Carl, who waved, grinning.
Barney was grabbing me by the shoulders to get me out the bar, and I stopped deliberately in front of the steps.
"Ted."
I wriggled out of his grasp, trying to get behind him and go back in, but he latched onto my hand, rolling his eyes, and led me up the stairs to my apartment. I opened it when we arrived, then remembered that Lily and Marshall were staying at a bed and breakfast in Vermont, and had driven up that night.
"Lily and Marshall aren't here, they're in Vermont."
"I know."
"Are you pissed I lost you that ten at the bar?"
"Trust me, she was a seven at best."
"Nice." I nodded, settling down into the couch. "Nice nice nice."
Barney was in the kitchen, and came back over with a glass of water for me.
"Aw. Thanks," I said, taking a gulp. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back onto the cushion.
"Don't you want to go to bed?" Barney asked.
"Mhm. Too tired." I complained.
"Ted."
"Nope. Too tired." I said, my eyes still shut.
I heard him sigh, then take off his jacket and sit down on the couch.
"I do feel like I should get you to your room."
I pretended not to hear him, leaning over and resting my head on his shoulder. I remembered thinking three things: how good he smelled, how comfortable his shoulder was, and finally, right before I fell asleep, how tired I was.
I woke up seven hours later with his arm resting around my waist.