Work Text:
Grian is fine.
He was sitting on the top of his half finished mega-base staring up at the night sky. It was a good night. The moon was full, and bright, (and normal sized.) There were only a few clouds in the sky. He had chosen to take a break now because it was practically perfect. He found himself enjoying the night sky in a way he never thought he would be able to after season 8.
It was peaceful. It was also quiet. Not something Grian enjoyed. The quiet let his thoughts wonder, the quiet let that ever growing blackhole replace his heart once more and grow- nope! He was having a good moment, he wasn't going to ruin that. But he already had hasn't he? Oh well.
He opened up his communicator, the silver armband like device most non-modded servers used for communication. Grian would say it was like a less technological phone that you wore on your wrist. One good thing about it was it could play music. So Grian grabbed out a pair of headphones from his inventory, (all black not red and blue. He would have opted for ear-buds but those made his ears hurt, especially when he practically blasted music in his ears sometimes) and put on something to stop his mind from wondering.
It mostly worked So that's how Grian spent his night. He looked up at the bright moon and glittering stars listening to music.
It was nice.
It was peaceful.
I̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶t̶r̶a̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.
Grian is fine.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
After the sun started rising Grian got up from his star gazing spot to work again. He quickly fell into the rhythm of placing blocks. Step back, place a block, step back, place a block, back, place, back, place, turn, back, place.
After a while, at about noon he guessed (the sun was nearly in the middle of the sky) he heard the familiar sound of firework rockets sounding off. Turning his head he saw his very formally dressed friend flying over with his elytra. Mumbo landed by Grian with a small thump as he nearly missed almost falling. Grian would have started mocking the mustached hermit if it weren't for the concerned look on his friends face.
"Grian when was your last break?"
Oh.
Of course.
Mumbo probably noticed he was getting drowned in his work again.
But it's fine! Grian just took a break all night.
"Mumbo calm down I just had a break! But if it would make you feel better we could hang out for a bit."
It wasn't lying per say. In the grand scheme of things he did just take a break. When does the sun usually rise? like 7 am? He's only been working for 5 hours straight running on no sleep! He's fine! He's gone (and was planning on) much longer without sleeping.
His best friend relaxed at that which caused Grian to smile. He didn't want to be concerning his friends just because of his poor sleeping and work habits. After all he got plenty of sleep. He wasn't falling asleep were he stood so he was fine! He knows a few hermits suffer from insomnia so him just missing a night (or 4) of sleep didn't matter.
"Ok. But first when's the last time you slept?"
Mumbo knows him too well.
"Two nights ago" He replied honestly. No point in hiding it. Wasn't a concerning statement anyways.
Mumbo seemed about to say something but Grian cut him off.
"Don't worry I didn't work the night away! I just didn't feel tired." A half lie. He felt physically tired but his mind was running a mile a minute. Trying to fall asleep like that was a dangerous combination so Grian just avoided it.
His friend let out a small sigh. "Alrighty then as long as your fine. Wanna come to my base and just hang out? I bet we could both use a bit of relaxing, I could make some tea."
Grian nodded at his friends request. They both took off towards Mumbo's base one using an elytra and the other flying with his parrot like wings. Grian always enjoyed flying. It was never silent when he could hear the the constant flap of his wings and swoosh of the air as he dived through the sky. They were pretty high up as Grian looked down at the extravagant buildings him and the other hermits had built.
'Would a fall from this hight kill me?'
What-
Were did that thought come from?
Grian couldn't help the pit in his stomach that formed after that thought. It was just a random set of words that happened to pass through his mind. He must be imagining it. It was just morbid curiosity. Everyone had that.
Grian doesn't want to die.
B̶u̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶i̶v̶e̶?
Of course he does!
If he wasn't alive he wouldnt be able to go hang out with Mumbo, or Iskall, or Pearl!
So Grian shook that thought out of his head and instead dive bombed towards Mumbo who was flying farther below him (apparently almost out of rockets.) He laughed at his friend's startled shout.
"Grian you can't just do that to people!"
Mumbo was smiling however. So Grian kept up his laughing fit.
"Oh you pesky bird!" Mumbo joked only ending with Grian laughing harder.
Grian was laughing.
Grian is fine.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
Grian had a great time at Mumbo's! Scar even came over and all three of them hung out! Saying goodbye to his friends Grian looked up at the sky to see that the sun would be setting soon. He spent longer hanging out with his friends then he thought he would. That's fine. Mumbo and Scar clearly didn't mind (and definitely had fun as well.)
This marked his second night awake.
To his base he went.
He wasn't sure what he was going to do. He could stock up some more materials for the entity, the other hermits seemed to really enjoy the easiness of buying the very boring to grind blocks like sand and gravel. That was something he had learned from his time with them. He should probably brainstorm a few ideas for how to incorporate them with the design he was going for, with adding everything he was selling on top of the entity.
(He still wasn't sure how that water wheel had ended up there but it worked for incorporating copper so he would just not question it.)
Or he could work on his mega-base some more. Getting that done seemed important. Did he have enough blocks to finish it now? Maybe he should wait for the sun to rise again so he can make sure it's looking good while he's working...
He could obviously sleep. But that thought brought a familiar fear along with it. Nope not sleeping. It wasn't that Grian had nightmares all that often. The last one be had was a while ago and it was about regular fears such as nobody caring about you and such. (and sure seeing his friends saying things like that hurt and the nightmare stuck but it didn't mean anything.)
He usually loved dreaming actually. He hated to admit it but dreams were a wonderfull escape from reality. Dreams made no sense but that was part of the charm. Grian kept a dream journal next to his bed so he could write down and remember them. A few nights ago (the last time Grian had slept) He had a dream that Scar had thrown a potion on the ground that turned into magic confetti that transported them to the End, which was filled with fluffy Lamas. In hindsight it made no sense but in the dream Grian could remember the blissful peace and excitement he felt. Dreams were lovely.
No the problem came to falling asleep. When his brain and body couldn't just agree to sleeping and he found himself staring at the ceiling a million thoughts racing through his head. When his chest filled with a ever-growing black hole that made him feel so bad. When his brain decided to play back all the things he didn't want to think about.
When he thought about Sam, when he thought about what he's done, when he thought about how selfish he is, when he thought about how he was probably just faking it all trying to fool himself into thinking he's actually a good person-
Grian didn't like falling asleep.
Other people had it worse.
Brainstorming it is.
Grian is fine.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
The third night is when phantoms start directly going after a specific player. Hermitcraft almost always had phantoms, one player or another staying up to much, but they always swarmed the players the most sleep deprived. 3 nights without sleeping is when there sure to come after you.
Grian probably should have stayed inside.
Instead he found himself in the middle of a field looking for a specific flower because he wanted some dye.
Great.
Grian totally didn't spend the night in a dirt shack playing games on his communicator and finicking with his sweater while the shrieks of phantoms screamed above him.
At least when it finally turned to day he found the flower he needed.
(He went back home and found he already had dye and that the whole ordeal was useless.)
Grian is fine.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
It was the fourth night. Grian couldn't stay awake any longer. He knew the moment he got to his bed he would pass out.
Great!
No waiting to fall asleep meant he didn't have to stare at the ceiling contemplating life!
So off he went, swaying on his feet as the sun started to set ready to crash into his bed and find himself in a wonderful sleep. But maybe a sleep deprived brain didn't make the best decisions. Especially after he had his little run in with phantoms last night he should know not to go out even more tired this time. But all Grian could think about was his soft blanket and the 5 diffrent pillows he had thrown about his room so he always had the perfect one.
So he jumped off his little platform and spread his colorful wings to their full wingspan and flew.
He could feel himself nodding off even as wind brushed past him. At this point that backround noise of shrieking mobs was all that was keeping him awake.
Wait.
Shrieking mobs?!
He turned around suddenly (almost) fully aware and he saw a swarm of phantoms behind him.
Shoot.
He frogot about that! How could he froget about phantoms!
In his shock (and also probably his slow running sleep deprived brain) he barely reacted which gave the swarm time to catch up to him!
Stupid! He was so stupid!
They attacked together getting Grian just the right way for him to bearly react. He quickly held up his arms using them as a shield against the sharp claws and teeth. His red sweater ripped and tore as the claws dug far enough to get skin. He was bleeding. He could barely think.
It was probably smart for these things to go after sleep deprived players, they were slower, and made stupid decisions (like Grian did.)
He was about to attempt a dive bomb to get down to land when one got a good hit on his wing. At first he didn't notice anything but then he tried to flap it again and- Oh Void that hurt! And probably worse his wing wasn't working. It wasn't working. The phantom dislocated it! The idea took a moment to process in his mind.
Then he realized he was
F a l l i n g.
The fall. It felt long and fast at the same time as the moment dragged on yet the wind wooshed past him far too fast. And he screamed. He screamed because suddenly he was able to feel all the scratches and bites and hits the phantoms gave him. He screamed because he was falling. He screamed because the ground would hurt and he knew it.
His morbid curiosity was being answered.
Would he live or die?
He doesn't want to die.
"Mumbo! X! Pearl! Someone!" He yelled praying to the Void to Prime to the Watchers to whoever he could that someone would show up. "I don't want to die." He said. It was bearly a whisper, a statement ment for no one's ears but his own.
Tears fell from his eyes as he realized this could very well be the end. (When had he started crying?)
The stings on his arms from the phantoms' claws stung feeling far too similar to the feeling of knife cuts across his arms. His dislocated wing burned and he couldn't help the twitch of his muscles attempting to fly so he wouldn't hit the ground that just made it worse.
The phantoms still flew after him, their shrieks filling up his ears.
Would that be the last thing he heard before he died?
One thing went through his head. Duck and roll. That's how you were supposed to avoid breaking bones right? Or were you supposed to do something diffrent from up high? Was it duck and roll or let your legs break and hope the rest of you makes it? He wasn't sure so he opted for the duck and roll method. Hopefully it worked, he wasn't sure he was that high up. (He hoped)
So he curled into a ball forcing his already messed up wing infront of him and ignoring the searing pain that caused. Apparently it was just in time because the next thing he knew it felt like his wings shattered.
The force of the impact caused a loud crunch sound and the air to be knocked out of him before the black overtook his vision.
He was dead wasn't he?
Or at least dying.
He could still feel the pain for a second. Could still hear the shrieks of phantoms.
Was that... fireworks?
"Grian!"
Oh.
Oh.
It was Mumbo.
Mumbo got to see him as the light drained from his eyes huh?
Wow he was full of morbid thoughts wasn't he?
Grian couldn't stay awake or even react to his friend however.
He was pretty sure this was it.
He saw
D a r k n e s s.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
Grian fully expected that to be it. He felt like he was floating in inky blackness. Is this death? But he was aware of a few things. Was he not dead?
....
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
"X please tell me he'll be ok!" Who was that?
...
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
He could feel the uncomfortable prick of a stray feather from one of his wings. He wished he could move to brush it off.
...
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
"Grian please don't die like this! I'll never forgive myself..." Grian wished he could hug whoever that was. (Was it Mumbo? He thinks it's Mumbo.)
...
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
This was someone else. Scar? "Grian I don't know what mess you got yourself into this time but I'm trying my best ok? I'll make sure you make it... I've got to... I'm just paying back a favor ok?" Was he crying? Grian didn't think Scar owed him anything.
...
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
He wasn't sure who it was but someone was holding his hand. It was a nice distraction from the inky darkness he was in.
...
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
...
Light.
He could see light.
That was the first thing he came to know again.
He couldn't open his eyes but a light was on.
The sheets.
He could feel the sheets.
That was the next thing.
He could feel the soft silky sheets underneath him. He wished he could curl it up in his hand.
Pain.
He could feel his pain.
It was unnaturally dull and faded but still there. His wings were the worst. He couldn't imagine the pain that they would be in if it wasn't all diluted.
Then everything else.
Then he could hear and smell and taste again.
He could hear the tik tik tik of a clock somewere as well as the faint snoring of someone presumably asleep.
He could smell the chemicals of cleaning products and medicines. It smelled like a hospital. (That's probably were he is actually.)
His mouth tasted like a mix of healing potions and blood.
Then he could move.
It was a small twich of his fingers at first but then he quickly forced his eyes open immediately wincing at the bright lights. He curled his hands into fists feeling how his fingers locked up, then pushed himself up.
He gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the light as he also tried to ignore the way his whole body ached. (That also felt far away and dull though, he must have been given something for the pain.)
He looked around the room and saw that asleep in a chair (that must be very uncomfortable) was none other then Mumbo Jumbo.
He tried to say something but at first nothing came out. It took him a few tries but he finally managed a weak "Mumbo?"
Mumbo seemed to immediately wake up eyes wide and- Gods it looked like he was crying before this. His eyes were slightly red and his suit was messy. His tie was crooked and Grian was 90% sure that the sleeves were slightly wet, probably from the other hermit trying to wipe away his tears.
"Grian your awake!" Mumbo seemed about to cry right there and then as he quickly got up and practically ran to Grian's side. The next thing Grian knew the two were locked in a hug. He hadn't realized how much he needed a hug. He wasn't sure how long he'd been unconscious for but before that he probably hadn't had a hug in what weeks? Months?
" 'm sorry" Grian said quietly voice muffled by Mumbo's suit.
The taller hermit stiffened slightly which caused Grian to look up from the hug to see Mumbo's concerned face.
Oh great.
Not again.
Mumbo needed to stop worrying about Grian.
"Why?" One simple word.
" 'cuz I got hurt, and you were crying" He stated simply. Maybe he was still a little delirious from waking up from unconsciousness.
"Grian that's not your fault. You had a horde of phantoms on you! You- you could have died Grian! No one blames you for that."
"But I'm the one who didn't sleep for four days. I should have just went to bed anyways..."
Silence hung in the air for a moment.
"Grian were you purposefully not going to sleep?"
...
"Yeah"
"Oh"
Grian and Mumbo sat on the bed, the two had broken up the hug but still sat close.
"Why?" Grian looked down fiddling with the ends of his red sweater (he noted it was a clean one and not coverd in blood.)
"I don't like fallin' asleep. I always feel... really bad while trying to sleep. Like... I don't know how to explain it but if I don't just immediately fall asleep my brain just goes crazy trying to make be feel horrible and I- I don't know... it's hard to explain ya' know?"
He couldn't really tell how Mumbo reacted, too busy stareing at the blurry ground. His friend pulled him closer into another hug and went to wip away tears.
Oh was he crying?
No wonder it looked so blurry.
"It's ok Grian. Just don't go flying in the middle of the night next time. Me and Scar would always be open to you coming over to one of our bases...
Scar was really worried you know."
Of course Grian worried Scar as well.
"All the hermits were. At first we weren't sure if you were going to make it." Mumbo seemed far away at that so Grian ploped his head onto the other's shoulder to pull him out of whatever trance he was in. (And totally not because he wanted to get closer to Mumbo.)
Mumbo seemed to snap out of it but Grian stayed were he was. Mumbo seemed fine with it so no harm.
"Scar used a bunch of his crystals. I'm not sure if you would have made it if he wasn't so relentless. You fell from pretty high up."
The two sat there for a while just silently comforting eachother.
"I- I should probably tell the others your awake. Scar and X especially." He started mumbling at the end as the pulled his arm out opening his communicator.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
It took a little while, both Scar and Xisuma being farther out and the other hermits agreeing that all of them rushing over to a just woken up Grian wouldn't be the best for him. Especially since Grian could already feel a headache forming. The lights were bright. When Scar walked in Grian and Mumbo were both sitting on the bed. Grian's head was still on Mumbo's shoulder. Scar let out a small "awww" noise at them. "Oh hey guys!" Mumbo said snapping Grian out of a half asleep trance. Right behind Scar Xisuma walked in. A very comfortable looking Jellie was also sitting on Scar's shoulders. "Hi Scar, hi X-eye-zoom-a-void" Xisuma smiled at that, Grian could see the way his eyes crinkled from under his helmet. Scar also let out a chuckle at the joke, both seemingly glad to see their friend in such a cherry state, especially after waking up from a coma. "Well it seems like your feeling ok, how are your wings? They took the brunt of the damage." X asked. Grian hadn't been paying attention to them. Now that he thought about it though he could feel the slightly dull ache of them. (Thank the Void pain meds were a thing) If it weren't thanks to whatever he was given Grian was pretty sure they would hurt like hell. He could also feel the tight bandages around them. The bandages held his wings against his back, they must be pretty messed up then. "I can feel the pain a bit. I'm guessing I'm on pain meds though 'cuz it feels duller then it should be. I'm not sure how much they should have healed while I was asleep. Actually speaking of that how long was I asleep?" Xisuma nodded along as Grian talked then took a moment to think over the question. "I think about a month. 2 weeks and some-odd days." No wonder Grian worried everyone. "I probably won't be able to fly for a while then, huh?" Scar nodded slowly at that a sympathetic look on his face. "Yeah no, it will definitely take a while to heal. Your lucky though hopefully with some healing potions, careful care, and some of my healing crystals they will heal alright in time. They were pretty messed up, but they stoped you from dying from the fall at least." Oh yeah, Grian had almost died. He doesn't know if that will ever fully sink in. It's a pretty crazy idea. Especially when your awake in a hospital bed and not in the afterlife. Grian is glad he's not dead. Grian is also glad he had such amazing friends. Next time he'll be sure to go talk to someone. Because Grian is not fine. So he'll get help.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
To say Grian was annoyed at being limited to no flying was an understatement. The winged hermit had never needed elytra unlike the others. He also couldn't just go get an elytra and use that in the meantime because he had broken wings strapped to his back! They had been healing at a slow but steady pace according to Scar, who had been helping him with making sure they would heal properly. The wings had to be practically strapped to his back to avoid them being tossed around to much.
He also apparently had a fracture in one of his arms but an armbrace was all that was needed for a little bit. Also according to X he had broken a couple ribs, but thankfully they had healed pretty well while he was asleep. Grian was very thankful healing potions were a thing. He also of course had a bunch of scratches and bites from the phantoms. The worse one was a long one on his left arm that took a while to heal and would definitely scar. He also wore a neckless with a few of Scar's magic infused crystals on them.
After he saw X and Scar he had slowly saw all the other hermits as well. He tried saying sorry for worrying them but they had all told him it wasn't his fault. With so many people telling him that, it was a little hard to not remember it. Especially Mumbo was very adamant about it. His mustached friend had chosen to stick to his side like glue while he was still in the makeshift hospital they had put him in. Even when he finally went back to his base Mumbo wanted to check in all the time, constantly making sure Grian was getting sleep. And he actually was! And it wasn't like Grian was annoyed with how much Mumbo was checking up on him! Never! He actually really enjoyed having someone care for him like that in a way he could tell. He just wasn't used to it. Plus Mumbo had seen him when he was about to die so he deserved to know Grian was doing ok!
And so here Grian was attempting (and failing) to fall asleep. Great. He could hang out with Mumbo or Scar. (Or both.) And he did need his wings rebandaged.
So he pulled out his communicator and started a small group-chat with Mumbo and Scar.
Grian >>> MumboJumbo/GoodTimeWithScar
Grian: Hey guys could we maybe have a group sleepover?
GoodTimeWithScar: Heck yeah!
Grian: Oh and Scar I think my bandages need rewraped again.
GoodTimeWithScar: Alright I'll bring some stuff for that.
MumboJumbo: Wanna have it at my place? It's still kinda messy from your guys last visit.
Grian: Wasn't that like over a month ago?
...
MumboJumbo: That's besides the point.
GoodTimeWithScar: lol
Grian: Anyways, yeah I'd be up for Mumbo's!
GoodTimeWithScar: Omw now!
MumboJumbo: Really I don't get any prep time?
Grian: Same.
GoodTimeWithScar: Nope <3
MumboJumbo: see you soon then
Grian smiled closing his communicator and heading out of his base. To Mumbo's! He couldn't fly there due to his wings being out of commission for the time being. So instead he walked, careful to stay to the most lighted areas he could to avoid unwanted attention from mobs.
On the walk he found his mind wondering off. Despite the fact he wasn't flying, despite the fact he couldn't hear the swoosh of the air as he dove, he could hear the chirps of crickets, and he could hear the rustling of bushes as the wind passed through the leaves. He was good for a while, actually finding himself enjoying the quite for once. But if he started walking a bit faster when his thoughts started to wonder a bit too far then that didn't matter.
When he got to Mumbo's base he was glad to find that he arrived only a bit after Scar had. Scar quickly did Grian's bandages, putting some splash healing potion onto the bandages to help them heal faster. The three of them spent the night hanging out.
They made jokes told stories and may or may not have fallen asleep on top of eachother. Or at least Grian and Mumbo had. Scar was the one who told them in the morning that they looked "adorable." Jellie also got to join in on the group cuddles.
So maybe they would have to have talks later. Maybe Grian would have to talk to Scar and explain to the other that no one owed anyone anything just for helping out their friends (a lesson that he was learning himself.) And maybe they would have bad days were one of them would need to ask for help.
But for now they were together and Grian had friends to support him.
So maybe grian isn't fine.
But maybe that's ok.
Because he has friends who would give up the world for him.
And he would do the same.