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"You really have changed, Franken."
It's been a long time since someone adressed him by his first name, probably way back at DMWA. Not that he cared, though it was typically used to scold him.
"For better or worse?" Stein asked , not bothering to look at you. The whole evening already he was giving it his utmost to avoid eye contact at any cost, acting all focused on random things.
"Dunno" you responded bluntly as you swirled your third glass of wine, taking a huge sip to loosen yourself up. "Just different. Guess we have to wait and see."
You on the other hand haven't changed at all, he deduced as he finally, almost unnoticeably side-eyed you. Still the perfectly composed, obedient A-grade student. Well, now teacher, he corrected himself. But boring nonetheless.
Back when the two of you were classmates, you would somehow always magically appear whenever he would be in - or rather cause - trouble. You sure were a bothersome class representative, preaching to the young Stein countless times, dragging him to activities or otherwise forcing him to spend time with the classmates he otherwise wanted nothing to do with and the other way around.
Yes, you surely were a stubborn one, constantly going out of your way to make someone who chose to be an outsider feel like he belongs - and no matter how often he tried to scare you away like all the others, you'd always somehow laugh it off.
As if he ever needed your help, let alone your pity.
During all those years, no matter your efforts, Stein had convinced himself that he loathes you and everything you stand for...
...now that he's matured, however, being able to see his past in a different light-
"Say Stein...you know that I had a little crush on you back in school, right?"
'Little' was the understatement of the decade - you were full-blown head over heels for this man. And meeting him again, even after such a long time, might have reignited those emotions you had long since buried...
...not that you'd ever admit it, though.
"Oh, really?" Stein seemed as indifferent as always - at least on the outside - and you've expected nothing more. "You have a terrible taste, then."
"Maybe that's true." You laughed it off, being proud of yourself for finally daring to voice those feelings after all those years.
Well, actually you thought to have been pretty upfront about your feelings, even if you never actually confessed. The signs surely were there...
...especially when you asked to become his new partner after Spirit ended their unusual friendship. He declined, harshly saying that someone like you could never be a replacement for anyone and would only drag him down.
That was the first and only time Stein had actually managed to make you cry.
Little did you know he turned you down solely in order to protect you from his destructive personality, fearing what might become out of him eventually - madness grows exponentially to strenght, after all.
Pretty selfless action for a person known to be a egoistic socio
path, huh?
Afterwards, as clueless and heartbroken as you were, you would stop your attempts to integrate him to the class completely. No more lectures about his behavior, no letters or invitations to join you after class anymore. You would also stop joining him during lunch break, trying to have a conversation and get to know him.
You had simply given up and accepted that this was the way he wanted to live.
At first he felt relieved to finally have some peace and quiet - yet even though he couldn't make sense out of it, Stein occasionally felt his chest narrowing whenever he saw you having fun with anyone else.
In a certain way, that was even worse than having you around - seeing easily you had forsaken him, and how his absence in your life did not make any difference to you after all.
Stein had always known that due to his twisted personality, he was not someone to even remotely be liked or wanted, but rather shunned and feared. And he was alright in this comfort-zone he had created. Telling himself to need nobody, that they were all beneath him and only his own interest would matter - until you came along, and made him used to your presence and weak to your influence.
Now he felt empty, being alone with his thoughts was agonizingly lonely - leaving him longing for something he had always known a freak like him could never have.
You surely were the worst.
This silent grudge Stein would hold until your graduation, only at the ceremony learning that you had never accepted anyone else as a partner - having become a Death Scythe completely on your own.
Impressive, he had to admit, surely worthy of earning his respect. But impossible...no. llogical, considering that perfectly kind and gentle soul of yours making you basically compatible with anyone.
The only thing almost as great as Stein's impulsive drive to tear apart simply everything that awoke his interest was his ego. He rather chose to focus on his abilities rather than what he was lacking - one of his many unhealthy coping mechanisms.
So the thought of you always only ever wanting him to be your partner would only amplify that unhealthy pride. Maybe he was that special to you, after all.
Not that it mattered. Even knowing this, Stein would be the last person to know how to properly deal with such a situation. It was just a theory of his, and he would rather drop dead than to come crawling back just for a little chance of it being true.
Well, time sure flies and since none of you ever dared to approach the other, you ended up walking separate ways...
...but not a day went by that either you or him asked yourself what would've been if only you reached out for the other.
Anyways, here you were, more than ten years later and still as incorrigible. So close, right in his living room -and yet the metaphorical wall between you as present as ever.
And if it wasn't for Master Death's order that all Death Scythes were to return to DWMA, who knows if you'd ever have met again. It was surprising, Stein's offer that you'd spend the time of your work at his laboratory. Surely cheaper than a hotel...
...and closer to the man you were supposed to observe.
You were still shocked to find out that Master Death didn't trust the most excellent student to ever graduate, who had stayed a close ally and great help at all times. And even with the Kishin's wavelenght obviously having it's effect on many, you refused to believe that Stein could fall victim to that severe madness inside of him - for years, you've personally seen his willpower to not fall astray from his path.
But orders are orders, you were in no position to deny it.
Might as well use the time to enjoy yourself.
"What's wrong?" Stein asked, and his almost worried tone cut you right out of your pondering. "You're a bit pale."
"Oh, I-I...huh?" Suddenly, it was hard to string together a sentence. As if the words in your head was all messed up, and your lips wouldn't listen to your brain's command. "Ma-aybe to-oo much wi...ne."
A mild panic rose in your chest as your vision became blurry, feeling how you failed to keep yourself upright...
...just for Stein to rush right to your side, catching you in his arms.
"Hey, there..." You could hear him clearly, yet were unable to respond. "Maybe we should get you to bed."
The tall man effortlessly scooped you up from your spot, surprisingly gentle as he held you into his arms. It was calming, somehow. How his heart was beating so calmly, and his sweater smelled like disinfectant and tobbaco.
"Stein?" He suddenly stopped in his tracks, certain that you were suspecting something. "Yes?"
"I-I...I may still have a crush on yo-ou."
There was a long pause between your confessions and his answer.
You looked up to him expectantly, forcing yourself to stay awake and waiting for him to say anything at all...
...what you saw from that currently limited eyesight of yours made your heart stop several beats.
He looked angry. Furious even - and disgusted.
Was he mad at you for saying this? But why?! Did he think you weren't serious about it? You wanted to add something, to solve this possible misunderstanding, but to no avail. Your mouth just opened and closed several times without making so much as a sound.
Stein mutely clenched his jaw so tight his teeth almost cracked, squeezing you in his arms as he thought about what he was about to do to you. Your words echoed in his head, the remains of his conscience taunting him for making such a great miscalculation...
...for what he was suppressing, despising, denying all those years might actually be love.
"Let's talk tomorrow" he hushed you, a bright, fake smile decorating his face.
God knows you'd die of embarassment by then, but before you could object, your mind and body had already entered the land of dreams - the last thing you've heared being Stein's voice. "Rest now, dear."
Dear. A single word giving you hope that your feelings might be reciprocated. That's something worth dreaming of, was your last, hopeful thought.
___
This evening went the complete opposite of planned.
But it was too late now, he decided as he carefully let you down on the mattress. He might definetly despise himself for it, but concluded it would make no difference to him. It was his second nature, anyone close to him would fall prey to it eventually.
The huge distance made forgetting so easy, but now? He could never stay away from you, now knowing what he knows.
Regret spread through his whole self like a disease: If only he had swallowed his pride earlier. If only he had been brave enough to explore and confess those feelings for you - with you.
If only ou had never met him in the first place. Anything would be a better fate than for someone to fall in love with his miserable self.
Stein couldn't have you either way. At some point, even if he'd actually be able to let you peek behind the facade, you'd flee - terrified of what you'd see beneath.
He would need to change the sheets afterwards, he pondered as he thought back to easier times with Spirit. You were just as naive as him, trusting Stein so unconditionally - but unlike his former partner you were actually smart.
It was sure you'd easily notice if he didn't perform his work to perfection, including every detail around it.
Cutting off your clothes were out of question, or it'd be suspicious. So Stein would unbotton your blouse, cautiously lifting your upper body to unstrap your bra. It was almost like you were embracing each other like that, the way your now bare breasts were pressing against his chest irritating him beyond belief. He groaned in annoyance at the distracting sensation before laying you down again, working his way to unzip your skirt...
...only to find that you chose not to wear anything beneath it to begin with.
Stein cursed internally, desperately trying to ignore the need rising between his legs, grabbing his throbbing cock through the fabric of his pants to ease the aching sensation. He tried becoming level-headed again, taking a marker out of the pocket of his lab coat and got started.
Easier said than done.
With not a single inch of your skin left covered, concentrating was a sheer impossible task - for his hands would constantly slip to linger on your skin longer than needed to mark his incisions.
Stein seemed relieved when he was finally finished with the marks, trying to be as objective as a mad scientist can be and focus on his work again. The screw in his head clicked and creaked as he turned it, but it did nothing to bring order to his troubled heart and mind.
Preparations were almost complete when he filled a syringe with the actual anaesthetic. The drug in your drink was just a weak medicine to force you asleep, but subjects would need something far stronger to endure being cut open alive, and to cut out their movement completely.
The doc's hands were trembling as he searched for a vein to inject the drug, disrupted by you stirring in your sleep. You yawned, deeply in trance and Stein couldn't help but adore your beauty even in that state.
Stein catched himself putting a few strands of hair out of your face, thumb running over your cheek and jaw just to be stuck at your lips. Your skin was incredibly soft he realized, moreso than he had ever imagined...
...and then, out of a whim he put the syringe to the side, a deep sigh escaping his lungs.
Maybe, just maybe he wouldn't need to dissect anything today. It would be a waste to scar this beautiful body.
Again, you would move ever so little in your sleep, humming contently next to a beast like him. Part of him wanted to leave, to go and tear something else apart before even the last part of his rationality would succumb to his desire...
...but when you gave in to his touch instead of flinching away, even daring to smile all innocent, he knew he was done for.
"Damn it, Y/N..." Stein whispered, his hand subconsciously wandering to your body once again.
If only you would've kept your mouth shut earlier, then he would've been able to pull through with his initial plan to get back on you for abandoning him back then. Nothing too cruel, but you may have woken up without even a trace of what he did, blissfully unaware.
...but now, knowing what he never thought possible...he just couldn't deny the feelings he inherited for you any longer.
Stein's large hands roamed the curves of your body, found their way all from the neck down your collarbones to cup both of your breasts, which betrayed you and stiffened under his touch.
Before he knew it, Stein found himself on the bed, towering over your defensless body as he hesistantly opened your legs.
"Shit...fuck..." he spoke with a low voice, the sight of your pretty cunt only animating him to go furhter. His mind was running, already having several ideas in mind for a new 'study'.
Goosebumps raised on your skin as Stein positioned himself in front of your sex, palms running down the sides of your sides stopping on your inner thighs.
You were so wet already, so ready without much of his own intervention it awakened some primal urge in the usually rational man.
One of his large fingers, then two sank into your tight wetness, welcoming him effortlessly. His breathing hitched when he heared an almost-moan escape your vocal cords, just to fall silent once again.
The man repeated the action, his fingers scissoring in your innards until they found a spot your body would react to. He felt your walls tightening around his fingers, numb body giving it your utmost to move your hips onto the pleasant sensation.
Your lips quietly parted, inhaling sharply when he pulled out of you all of a sudden, tasting your juice from his hands. Instantly, he'd grab your hips and bury his face in between your legs, tongue sliding through your dripping folds and settling to tease your erected clit. His actions earned muffled cries in return, desperately pressing his agonizingly sensitive crotch against the mattress.
More. More more more MORE!
Only now it dawned on him, the reality of how badly he needed a release - and Stein wanted only you to give it to him.
Stein needed you. To see you, feel you, have you in every way imagineable. He knew it'd never be enough - that was how much his subconsciousness was screaming at him right now.
When he'd finally pull away, seeing your lustful trembling body all at his mercy, he quickly unzipped his pants, rigorously pumping his cock as he aligned it with your entrance.
Your limp body went rigid as he slowly pushed himself inside, and a deep groan of his echoed against the walls when he felt himself stretching your insides.
This was perfect, you were perfect, and he would dwell in that sensation forever if he could...
...yet he'd need to be fast, before either the narcotic wears off or his conscience would catch up on him.
"Y/N, I- shit, this is all your fault..."
It didn't take long until Stein lost himself in this feeling, thrusts getting harder until he slammed his hips against your core, obscene noises filling the room.
The sound of his uncontrollable moans were dampened by his lips against your skin, getting wilder with every response your body gifted him. "So beautiful...damn..."
Much to his own surprise, he had never felt so in control over his own madness as right now. His hands would only slightly claw at the skin of your delicate neck, mouth raising blood and bitemarks like his initials on your skin - tender enough to have disappeared by the next morning.
"So fucking good for me" he panted, and your breath fastened to his rythm as well. Stein's eyes were closed, imagining what it would be like to have you writhe beneath him, awake and enjoying the things he did to you.
Somehow, he wished for you to be aware of what was happening - to hear those sweet affirmations he was never able to tell you before.
"I've always liked you. You happy now?" Stein gritted as he grew close, body melting against yours in exasperation. "Shit, Y/N...I'm sorry for everything...I've missed you so, so much. Every single fucking day."
As soon as those thoughts, this heavy burden he had carried all those years had finally left his lips, Stein's lips would crash over yours, tongue exploring your mouth with a frantic need...
...and his blood run cold when he felt you kiss him back.
It could happen from time to time, that a subject regains consciousness and passess out soon after again, most likely not remembering anything from that brief wake.
But the fear of being caught in the act was not what was worrying him - it was your eyes.
The way you were looking at him through half-opened lids, carrying so much genuine affection he felt his heart would burst out of guilt.
Obviously you were still far away from reality, yet even though you seemed a little confused you were so content and trusting that it made something settle deep inside of him.
"Ste-in...mhh..." you whispered quite hoarse, mustering up all of your strenght. It wasn't enough to speak again, however your lips managed to form silent words.
"D-o-n-'t s-t-o-p."
Stein almost howled at the realization, whatever he was feeling right now making him feel like he couldn't breathe. He balled his fists in the sheets, continuing at a slower, more passionate pace.
You shaked and quivered beneath him, mutely begging as Stein fucked you through your high. It was a sight to behold, your perfect breasts moving together with him, the way your mouth formed a little 'o' while making all those lewd noises. Your scent was everywhere, pheromones luring him to continue until he might as well lose his mind.
He would need to pull out soon, that much he owed you, or- no.
An irrational idea popped up in his mind that was otherwise wiped cleaned by pure lust: Yes...he wanted to see your belly grow round, for you to have his baby so badly. It would be a great experiment to watch you carry his child.
All for science, of course...right?
Stein held you close, so close as if he wanted your souls to touch each other. He seemed everywhere at once, smothering you in kisses until he felt how your walls narrowed around his swollen cock. He grabbed your ass, ramming himself deeply inside one last time and spilling as deep as he could.
Stein called, screamed your name like a sacred prayer as he came, not caring if you'd remember - wanting to, actually.
Sweat was dripping from his forehead, hands intertwining before ultimatively collapsing above you with his head buried in your neck, right at your pulse point. He had no intention to pull out just yet - wouldn't want to let his seed go to waste.
There wasn't much time left until the narcotic would stop working, Stein sadly noticed after cleaning you up, nuzzling against the small of your back and leaving a trace of kisses there as he enjoyed that last bit of proximity he might ever have with you.
"I'm sorry, Y/N" he whispered remorsefully, voice cracking. "But I think I'm in love with you..."
___
It was already way past noon when you finally rose from the dead, feeling as if you haven't slept at all even though it was more than twelve hours already.
Looking to your left, you saw a bunch of pills and a glass of water on the nightstand, together with a note: "Take 2. Don't want you to vomit all over the place. ~Stein."
There was a huge blank spot where the hours of last evening should be - and when you remembered your earlier confession, you already felt shame rising at the pitch of your stomach just thinking about what else you might've told him.
Stein on the other hand had watched over you the whole night, unable to find any rest himself. He'd try to impring every little detail of your face into his photographic memory, in case it would be the last time he'd be able to see you.
As soon as you woke up however, he stormed out of the room and buried himself in his work - in a desperate attempt of distraction.
After all, he couldn't possibly know what exactly you'd remember once you'd wake up, if anything...
...but the possibility of having lost you forever after getting a second chance - and being the only one to blame for that - sure was terrifying.
"Good morning, sunshine" you cheered sarcastically, friendly mocking the man that looked just as awful as you did.
Stein immediately stiffened at first, but was quick to regain his composure at your welcoming voice. "Morning you too, sleepyhead."
The animal Stein was currently dissecting on the kitchen table did nothing to soothe your sore stomach, only amplifying the sudden nausea overcoming you.
"I might've overdone it yesterday..." you hiccuped, rubbing your stomach with one hand while the other covered your mouth. "Sorry for causing you trouble."
"Oh, not worth mentioning." Stein wouldn't look up from his little experiment, dismissingly waving his hand. "There's leftover food in the fridge, if you're hungry."
"No, thanks, I'll pass" you groaned, trying to gloss over the fact that you were still feeling like shit. "Need any help with that?"
Stein furrowed his brows, questioning your sincerity. "Really?"
"Yeah. Well, I might not be very useful at first, but maybe if you teach me-" A loud bang interrupted your suggestion, hand having slipped off the table you had been resting your weight on.
Luckily Stein - as always - instantly came to your aid, supporting your body whose legs had weirdly given up all of a sudden. They had been wobbly ever since you took your first step out of the bed, and you felt familiary sore somehow.
"Are you really alright?" He sounded serious now, almost scolding. Probably both because you were overdoing yourself so early, and also because he was the one responsible for your state. "Be honest with me, Y/N. I don't want you to faint again."
"Y-Yes.." you stammered, feeling jittery beyond belief. Even after all those years, Stein could still make you flustered just like that, and you were tired of hiding it. You wondered if he knew of that fact, since nothing ever goes past him.
It felt like electricity shot through your body as soon as you touched, brief memories flashing in front of your inner eye faster than you could perceive. "Just had the weirdest dream last night."
"About what?" Sometimes it was almost creepy how quick his mood could change, and now was exactly a time like this. At that angle the glasses hid his eyes, and the rest of his expression was unreadable.
"Mhh...you know what?" you snickered shyly, a shiver running down his spine when you reassuringly touched Stein's shoulder. "Actually, it's not that weird. I dream like that pretty frequently. Just felt awfully real this time."
"Oh?" Stein's blank stare instantly turned into a cheeky grin at your words. "Sounds interesting. People tend to say reoccuring dreams have deeper meaning. Like something you wish to happen, for example."
"You wish I would tell you, huh?" You confidently poked his chest, raising a brow at him. "By the way: I was butt naked when I woke up. That couldn't have been you, right? Little pervert."
"Well, you vomited all over your clothes." Stein had prepared an excuse for every possibility, so lying came as easy to him as breathing right now. "They are in the washing machine."
"Yeah, I figured out that much." Having changed your mind about eating, grabbed an apple from the counter, only able to take one bite without feeling sick. "Just wanted to mess with you a little. Thanks for taking care of me. Seriously."
Stein sure was confused whether you were actually clueless or were trying to get him to confess - yet when he took a look at your soul, it showed no sign of ill intend. "As I said, no big deal."
You weren't accusing at all, even waking up from a comatose sleep without any clothes - in the house of a man who was known to cut up people in their sleep just for the sheer fun of it!
It's not like you haven't thought of the possibility, to be honest. But then again, you weren't cut up. There were no wounds on your body whatsoever - asides from a bruise or two you were sure the blockhead caused, because he bumped your body against the door- and bedframe while carrying you.
"Umm...Stein..." The man seemed busy with his own thoughts, but you tugged on his lab coat, making the way taller man look down to your height. "About what I said yesterday-"
"Maybe we should postpone that conversation for when you feel better again, okay?" You sank your head in defeat, both in worry and disappointment. It was obvious he meant bad news, avoiding the topic like that.
And there you were, thinking something had changed between the two of you...how stupid.
"Now don't look at me like that." Your eyes widened, heart beginning to race when you suddenly felt Stein's palm on your head, gently patting your hair. "Do you really think that bad of your new partner?"
Partner?!
"Say, Stein..." You wriggled out of his hold, unable to meet his eyes as you nervously paced on spot. "You would never hurt me, right?"
"Wow, where's that coming from?" The man rubbed the back of his head, looking understandably confused at your question. "Your dream, is that it?"
"N-No!" you exclaimed in panic, trying to explain yourself. "The dream was...pleasant, but- That's not it. It's just so sudden, and-"
He looked at you expecting and impatient, yet also presenting you a genuine vulnerability he had never showed anyone - so you hesistantly continued. "You didn't want me back then, and...it hurt."
You grabbed the fabric of your shirt, heart still aching at the remembrance. "I just don't want to feel that way again, so if you're unsure, then-"
Before you could even finish that sentence, Stein would already take your hands and gently pull you in for a soft embrace. "I'm not good at being...well, good, but I can become better. And I apologize for hurting you back then. It will never happen again."
His arms wrapped around you, and with your head against his chest you could clearly hear his racing heartbeat. "I promise you: I was never so sure about anything in my life."
This time, you wholeheartedly believed he was speaking from the heart - and you could get used to it.
"Trust me, Y/N - you're evidentially the only person I could never harm."