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She blinks, trying to chase away the sleep that still overwhelms her after going to bed so late. She sees, with her eyes half open, the lavender colored walls of her bedroom, her hula lamp on her dresser and just next to it a big watch, a male watch that does not belong to her.
She closes her eyes again and the previous night gradually comes back to her mind, the sweet kisses, the caresses, the walk on the Navy Pier while holding hands, the laughter and the stolen glances.
She can smell his particular perfume, of wood and fire, which has filled her bedroom so quickly since he arrived two days ago.
Then she becomes aware of that weight around her waist, his arm holding her close to him, having not let go of her all night, as if to reassure each other that they were well together after weeks away from each other.
She feels his regular breathing on her back and her neck. Then, a light movement indicating to her that he emerges slowly from his own sleep. His arm tightens a little more around her, bringing their bodies even closer, skin against skin, heat against heat, softness against softness.
A first light kiss is placed on her shoulder, then a second one, and finally a third one in the hollow of her neck, reminding her how much she misses these small moments when he is on the other side of the country.
Automatically, a smile appears on her face. Then, this moment of sweetness and happiness is replaced by the doubts that have been living inside her since she learned the news, her smile tightens and her breathing gets stuck.
She has to talk to him.
She has had to talk to him since the second he walked into her apartment. She had prepared herself for this surprising discussion that might leave them in a difficult position.
Of course, all her doubts and bad thoughts were put aside when she finally saw him enter her apartment, for the first time in eight weeks, with that ravaging smile that he reserves only for her and that she loves so much.
Her body tenses up before she whispers, "Are you really here?"
He chuckles and answers in his sleepy voice, "I'm really here baby."
"You're really really here?" Her voice is barely audible, full of uncertainty.
She feels him move a little, lifting his body slightly to kiss her cheek more easily, then with an easy movement he flips them to be on top of her while being careful not to let all of his body weight on her. Their eyes meet and he can see a multitude of emotions on her face.
He brushes a blonde lock out of Sylvie's face before letting one of his thumbs gently stroke her cheekbone "I'm really here, and for five whole days."
He watches her with that typical Matt Casey solemn look on his face and for a moment she's afraid he can read her perfectly. "Are you okay?" he asks, his voice full of concern, his thumb moving to the corner of her mouth, caressing one of the edges of her barely visible smile.
She nods weakly, "Yeah, I'm just taking all of you in, the fact that you and the boys are here for five more days is amazing."
He knows her, she knows he sees that her brain, even at this time of day, is spinning at a thousand miles an hour and that she is trying to resolve an inner conflict. She sees in his face that he is trying to decide whether to push a little harder to get her to talk or let her come to him when she wants to.
She spots when he decides to give up and let her choose the moment when she will be ready. He brings her face slowly closer to his and tenderly nuzzles her nose with his before whispering, "Okay. Waffles for breakfast before going to the firehouse for your shift ?"
She bites her lower lip lightly so that her smile doesn't take over her entire face, he knows that waffles are one of her weaknesses, that she makes them to celebrate or on the contrary when she is sad.
He knows her. Better than anyone else and now she is both thrilled and terrified to have the discussion with Matt. But once again she decides to push the negative aside, to ignore the ball that knots her belly, and to enjoy these little moments of happiness. She shrinks the gap between them to nothing and answers, lip to lip, "Yes, please."
***
He kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye during their drive to the firehouse, she could feel his heavy, worried gaze on her and didn't dare look back at him. She increased the sound of the music as soon as she entered the car, the songs of Dolly Parton scrolling one after the other.
To reassure him, and herself too, she puts her hand on his thigh, her thumb caressing it delicately, her skin meeting only the rough material of his jeans, before Matt's hand covers and squeezes hers.
She then recalls the car rides with her parents when she was a child. Of her mother putting on Dolly Parton every time they went on a road trip, of her father looking at her mother semi-exasperated, semi-amused, to hear for the thousandth time his wife's favorite artist. She remembers her mother leaning over to place a light kiss on her husband's cheek, and her father's hand instinctively placing itself on his wife's thigh.
It was these small reciprocal movements and gestures, these glances of such love and mutual admiration, that she had always sought in a relationship and that had taken her so long to find.
Harrison, after a few months of relationship, had quickly become indifferent, only paying attention to her when he needed her or to look good in front of other people.
Joe had ultimately turned out to be only a friend, an important friend, but nothing more.
Antonio was the unattainable man, his heart was never to be taken and as Sylvie looked back at the relationship, she quickly realized that it could never have worked and that the passion between them was only ephemeral, exciting yes, but only a stealth relationship.
And Kyle, he was this kind and attentive man but their relationship, or at least their relationship following their breakup, was a mistake from which she had learned a lot. She could not leave behind her her career for a manned Kyle mostly wanted a housewife. She had nothing against women making that choice, her mom did, but it wasn’t her. She loved and was passionate about her job.
The movement of Matt's thumb against her skin reminded her that she had found the one she had always been looking for, that she had always dreamed of. She could swear that since the day he confessed to her in front of Molly's that he was in love with her, her heart had started beating a little faster and missing a few beats every time their eyes meet.
He never puts her down, never makes her believe that her dreams and ideas are not important, on the contrary, he is her best support, he encourages her like no one else has until now, except for her parents.
She had found her forever but was currently afraid of the future.
***
They arrived in front of the firehouse, their hands still linked, Sylvie's thumb regularly caressing the knuckles of Matt's hand, a relatively heavy silence inhabiting the car.
No sooner had they exited the car they saw Ben and Griffin in front of the firehouse. Ben, like many teenagers his age, had his eyes glued to his cell phone, eyebrows furrowed. Griffin's posture was more surprising. His arms were crossed in front of him on his chest as he rocked from one leg to the other, his eyes lost in the void. The gentle, attentive boy seemed more concerned than usual.
Matt and Sylvie walked to them, the cold late November wind chilling them and reminding Sylvie that she should have started adjusting her wardrobe to the change of season. In an attempt to hide from the cold, Sylvie tightened her grip around Matt's arm and lowered her face until her nose touched Matt's bicep, hiding her slightly from cold gusts of wind and giving Matt the opportunity to place a delicate kiss on the top of her head.
"Hey guys, what are you doing out here, it's freezing cold," Matt asked, surprised that his foster sons, who were always looking for comfort, had decided to wait for them outside the firehouse and not in the common room with already a full plate.
Without a word, Ben looked up from his screen and as if they were robots, Ben and Griffin turned slightly and pointed to two people a few feet behind them.
Matt and Sylvie found their best friends standing by the Squad 3 table, Kelly sitting as usual in his big green leather chair, Stella standing next to him waving her arms around as her hands held a multitude of papers of various colors. Sylvie immediately recognized the purple binder on the wooden table, the binder around which Stella and Sylvie had spent many hours over the past few months preparing for the wedding.
Kelly looked exasperated, his eyes darting back and forth between the newspaper in front of him and Stella. Matt and Sylvie couldn't hear their best friends' words clearly, only a few words like "disaster", "no help", "what are we going to do" reached them.
Frowning, Sylvie turned back to the boys, "What's going on? Everything was fine when we dropped you off at the loft last night."
Griffin uncrossed his arms before crossing them again, reminding Sylvie again how much he looked like Matt despite the lack of genetic connection between them, "Stella got a phone call last night after dinner while we were playing basketball with Ben and Kelly, she stormed back into the room, pulled Kelly by the arm and they've been like that since yesterday. No idea what happened but...".
"Not exactly the best atmosphere to enjoy the next few days," Ben continued, cutting off his brother, his face still turned towards his cell phone, preventing him from seeing the blow his brother gave him, "What? It's the truth."
Before anyone could answer, they saw Stella storming towards them, her curly hair, not being styled as usual in a braid but fluttering all around her face, and Severide walking not far behind her, his face impassive.
Stella grabbed Sylvie by the arm, kissed her cheek, and pulled her in. Sylvie didn’t resist feeling that her best friend needed her. She only had time to turn around quickly, meeting Matt’s eyes over her shoulder, to send him an alarmed yet amused smile and a fast parting wave, to which he responded with a wink.
Matt finally turned back to his best friend to clear the air, after the difficulties they had encountered following Benny's death, Stella's appointment as Lieutenant and the "Seager drama", as Sylvie and Stella call it, Severide and Stella had managed to work on their communication and find a good balance. With a pat on the back Matt finally spoke up "What's up man?"
Severide let out a long sigh, "The reverend that Stella was desperate to have for our ceremony called last night. One of his relatives passed away and he's not going to be able to come to Chicago for the wedding. After that, Stella got a call from the florist saying he wasn't sure if he would have all the flowers we ordered in time, apparently there is a shortage. Stella has been on a loop since last night and now she's accusing me of not being involved in the wedding, of having no interest in it."
"Were you involved in the wedding planning?" Innocently tried to find out Matt from Kelly. Being on the other side of the country he had gotten most of the updates on the wedding planning from Sylvie who, as maid of honor, had contributed greatly. His phone calls with Severide were, as for them, rather turned towards the education of the Dardens, the new challenges of Matt's new job or Severide's investigations with OFI. The only topics related to the wedding that they had discussed together were the bachelor party and their respective outfits.
"I've tried but there are a billion decisions to make and every time I give my opinion I feel like I'm giving the wrong answer" Kelly replied his head swaying back, before he let out a long sigh.
Matt moved closer to his best friend and squeezed his shoulder, "Hey, I'm sure everything will be fine. The wedding isn't today, it'll all work out."
"Especially now that Sylvie is in the know," Ben added, still not looking up from his phone, which triggered laughter from everyone.
***
Ben was right. The turmoil on Severide and Kidd's wedding front had little impact on the mood of their colleagues. Sylvie put a plan of action in place and solutions were found very quickly. She had kept back-up numbers of several florists and had managed to find the flowers Stella wanted. As for the person celebrating their wedding, they didn't have to look that far, various people from 51 offered to take on the role and who better than Mouch to celebrate their union.
After no call for the ambulance and the rush of wedding issues to deal with, Sylvie finally had time to do her inventory with Griffin who had rushed to offer his help.
The silence between them could have been awkward if they didn't know each other. Sylvie was not her usual bubbly self and Griffin, who although usually calm, seemed lost in thought while trying to start topics without ever really doing so. Tired of the situation, and wanting to be distracted from her own problems, Sylvie put down the box of bandages she was about to put away and sat down on the stretcher to face the young man. "I can see you're trying to tell me something and you don't dare."
Again Griff opened his mouth without anything coming out and it took Sylvie raising her eyebrows and grabbing his hand for him to finally disclose his thoughts, "What do you do when you like a girl?"
Sylvie's eyes widened suddenly in surprise, "Oh, I didn't expect that."
"It's okay, I'll go get some food and let you finish your inventory," he reacted, trying to leave the ambulance. Sylvie stopped him, however, by grabbing his hand and forcing him to sit on the ambulance bench.
"Hey, don't ever think you have to be embarrassed to talk to me about anything, especially since I'm a girl so I can help you with that," she replied tenderly. "What's her name?"
"Mary. It's crazy, I'm almost 19 and I'm only asking myself these questions now. I've never had a girlfriend." Griffin looked far more stricken by this realization than he should have been, his gaze fixed on Sylvie's hand which was still between his own.
"Griff, you've been through things that most people your age can't even imagine. From losing your father, to having to look after a house and your brother. It's only natural that you haven't had time to have one or more girlfriends. No, scratch that, it's not quite normal, it's maddening but it's also not really surprising. Some people have their first girlfriend or boyfriend at twelve and others at twenty-six, there is no rule, everyone has a different life and experience about dating." Sylvie told him.
She looked up at him, both hands gripping his face, "You, Griffin Darden, are one of the most resilient and courageous people I have ever met in my life. And Mary would be very lucky to have you around. Honestly, just try to be her friend, get to know her and invite her to do fun things."
"And if I can't talk to her about my past, what does that mean?"
Sylvie took a deep breath, "Honey, you might have a little trouble talking to her about everything you've been through at first, and then maybe it will all come out. But keep in mind that if you feel you can't confide in her, then you're not right for each other. You must always be able to trust your partner, that's one of the most important things, even if talking is hard and takes time."
Griffin suddenly took Sylvie in his arms and buried his face in her hair, at that moment Sylvie remembered how young and fragile Griffin still was, that his past had built a shell, forced him to grow up too early and that nobody had allowed him to be vulnerable. "Thank you, for always being there for us. We're lucky to have you."
Sylvie could only hug him a little tighter, trying to make him understand how much she adored him, "Always Griff, always. I am lucky to have you three too."
He pulled away from her arms and she took the opportunity to wipe away the single tear that had rolled down the boy's face before he said, "You're going to be a great mom one day."
Sylvie's breath caught, she tried not to let the tears escape. She didn't want to cry in front of Griffin without talking to Matt first. As if by magic, they were interrupted by Matt and Ben walking towards them.
"Hey guys, we just talked to Hermann, and he and Cindy are offering to take the boys home. With the loft about to get a little sensitive before the home stretch of the wedding and Thanksgiving being held at the Hermann's house it might not be a bad idea. I should have thought of it, but I didn't think the wedding was that stressful. Your brother's okay, what do you think Griff?" Matt explained.
"I'm okay with going to the Hermann's, it might be cool to spend time with Lee Henry and everyone else," Griffin replied. Griffin had always gotten along well with the Hermann kids, and unlike his brother he still remembered them and had fond memories of them.
"Great. You're going to eat your weight in brownies, Cindy already warned Hermann that if you come over she'll make you some," Matt laughed before turning to Sylvie who had resumed her inventory while listening with one ear to Matt, "Babe, Stella and Violet are looking for you to go over some details of the wedding."
Sylvie put away a box of meds then climbed out of the ambulance using Matt's shoulder for support, she gently kissed his cheek and murmured an "ok, thanks," before heading off towards the interior of the firehouse.
His eyes followed her, his eyebrows furrowed, still unable to understand what was going on with his girlfriend. She seemed happy to see him and the boys, but concerned. Yet he had the impression that nothing serious had happened recently, he hadn't heard of any difficult calls from his former colleagues, as far as he knew her parents and brother, and Scott and Amelia were all fine. Not being able to get hold of the problem was particularly annoying as there was nothing he could do to help.
Matt was brought out of his thoughts by Griffin's worried voice and turned his head to see the two worried looks on the boys' faces, "Matt, is Sylvie okay?"
"I don't know boys, she seems a bit distracted since we arrived. But I'm sure it's nothing serious, don't worry." Matt had learned very quickly that to build a healthy relationship with the boys they had to be mutually honest. They had grown up in a very unstable home after their father's death, and honesty was extremely important for them to trust anyone.
"You didn't tell her we were moving back to Chicago, right ? We more or less figured it out when she didn't bring it up when she came in this morning and saw us." Replied Ben, who like his brother seemed anxious for Sylvie. In a year, Sylvia and Ben had forged a wonderful relationship, they had totally opposite characters, he being taciturn and she a ray of sunshine, yet Sylvie had quickly become one of his favourite people, although he usually showed amused annoyance towards her.
Embarrassed, Matt scratched the back of his neck, "We haven't really had time to talk."
"Gross." chained Ben immediately.
"I'll tell her of course, just not here." Matt replied as he ignored Ben's comment and headed inside the firehouse to enjoy the rest of his day in one of his favourite places in the world with some of his favourite people.
The rest of the day went more smoothly, strangely the bells only went off twice, once for the ambulance and again for truck 81. Matt had time to enjoy each of his friends while getting to know Mason and Marissa Clarkson, an impressive new recruit to Squad 3. It was still strange to see the firehouse he had dedicated so much time to go on without him.
The only other person who knew about his return to Chicaco was Chief Boden. He was in fact the only one he had continued to talk to about his plans and battles to return. He had quickly realised that talking about it with Sylvie was hurting her as it was only a possibility without anything being certain and Severide was not very receptive to it, saving himself from any false hope. Chief Boden had been a listening ear for the last few months and had devised a plan so that when Matt returned he would have a place at 51. This plan included taking the Battalion Chief exam.
This day at 51 gave him more visibility as the Chief told him that the next Battalion Chief's exam would be at the end of February and if he wanted to, he could register for it. He was anxious about the upcoming date as it was still an exam that he had to work for but Boden assured him that he would help him and in the worst case scenario other exam dates were already scheduled. Until he could take the exam and until the results, Matt would work in the CFD as a captain but not at 51.
Matt wanted nothing more than to talk to Sylvie. Now that he was sure he could take Ben back to Chicago. He felt guilty about having this kind of discussions with Boden without Sylvie knowing.
After spending the day at 51, the Dardens and Matt had made a quick trip to the loft to collect the boys' things and then headed to the Herrmanns' for dinner. As he'd suspected, Cindy had given them a princely welcome, cooking for an army, but no one could blame her since the dinner table was full of hungry teenagers or young adults.
Matt had hugged Cindy a little tighter before leaving, he'd always had a special relationship with her. She'd taken him under her wing from the moment he'd arrived at 51, even before she'd learned of his painful past. The fact that she had welcomed the boys with such warmth and love did not surprise him, but it did move him.
***
Sylvie had returned from her shift exhausted. The luck they had had when Matt had come during the day seemed to have run out and she had been making one call after another during the night. It took Matt only a few moments to guide her to bed and help her get ready for a nap of a few hours before they prepared some food together to take to the Herrmanns' Thanksgiving.
Without hesitation, Matt had joined Sylvie in bed and had himself succumbed to sleep when he didn't think he was tired. He had woken up after what he thought was a few hours of sleep and turned out to be a single hour of rest when he saw the time on the alarm clock screen. He turned over in the bed and was surprised to find it empty, the cold sheet in the place Sylvie normally occupied, indicating that she had been out of it for a while.
Surprised and worried, Matt pulled back the blankets covering him and immediately set off in search of his girlfriend. He stopped dead in his tracks as he left the room and immediately saw Sylvie's tense posture in the kitchen. Her hands were gripping the edge of the worktop in front of the oven, and her head was thrown back, her eyes closed towards the ceiling.
He took a few steps and Sylvie didn't seem to hear him walk, "Sylvie, baby, what's going on?" Sylvie gasped and turned to him, surprised to see him standing in front of her, "I can tell s that something is wrong and you're not telling me about it."
Sylvie's eyes were wide and she blurted out "I'm pregnant."
Matt was stunned by this statement, he never thought she would tell him this. He thought that maybe their long distance relationship was more difficult to handle at the moment, having not seen each other for two months and having to reschedule some plans, or maybe she had had a difficult call and hadn't told anyone at 51.
He certainly wasn't expecting this and the shock stopped him from moving. He was brought back to earth he heard Sylvie sniffled and he understood that his mission for the moment was to reassure her.
He swallowed the distance between them in two large steps. He removed Sylvie's hands that were hiding her face and immediately took her in his arms. He was surprised by her reaction, it was the best news he had ever heard and yet she seemed devastated by it.
He held her close, Sylvie's head instinctively burying itself in his chest, just above Matt's heart, and he rocked rhythmically. He gently took Sylvie's face in his hands, "Hey, baby, look at me," as their eyes met again he continued, "This is the best news ever. A baby. I can’t believe it. A baby. We’re going to be parents."
Sylvie pulled away from Matt and turned her back to him, her hands wiping her wet cheeks, she finally turned to face him after taking a deep breath, "How are we supposed to do this Matt? You seem to forget that you live on the other side of the country and are raising a teenager that you can't relocate at will. I made a choice not to follow you but now I'm forced to rethink it because of course I want to have this baby, your baby, our baby. But I never wanted to raise my children so far away from my parents, from my family. Amelia is also close by, she has already lost her mum, I don't want to see her once every six months. The solution is for me to come to Portland but it's also a real sacrifice for me and I don't want you to take it the wrong way or feel bad about it. And..."
Regret hit Matt hard at the sight of Sylvie in this state. She didn't know about a very important part of their lives, a part that changed everything. She didn't know that he would soon be back in Chicago and this omission on Matt's part had prevented her from fully enjoying what would otherwise be the happiest moment of their lives.
He had deprived her of that happiness. She should have been overjoyed to welcome a child into their family and although he suspected she had no regrets about carrying the baby, she was anxious. Matt understood very well that she feared a future, for the next few years anyway, with her and their baby on one side of the country and him and the Dardens on the other.
He couldn't let her doubt for a minute longer, he walked over to Sylvie who was still pacing in front of him, gently grabbed the edge of the blue sweatshirt she was wearing to pull her closer to him, he smiled when he saw the name Casey embroidered on the sweatshirt, right above Sylvie's heart. An image of Sylvie with a ring on her left ring finger suddenly gripped him but he pushed the exhilarating thought away to concentrate on the moment, a proposal would come soon enough.
His hands came to rest gently on Sylvie's cheeks, his thumbs removed the tears that were still streaming down Sylvie's face, "Baby, look at me," he waited for their eyes to meet before explaining, "I feel so stupid, I wanted to surprise you but it obviously backfired..." Sylvie's furrowed brow told him she was confused and he continued, "I'm coming home. Ben and I are moving back to Chicago."
He smiled at her but Sylvie's face was impassive, usually he was able to read her like an open book but this time she gave nothing away but her confusion. She pulled herself out of Matt's arms and walked wordlessly to the dining table before settling down and looking at Matt, "I don't understand. The three years are not over and you never mentioned anything to me about coming back sooner than expected."
Matt breathed in and out deeply before settling himself into the chair next to Sylvie, grabbing her left hand and placing their intertwined hands on the table, his thumb tenderly caressing the knuckles of her hand, the movement reassuring and anchoring them in the moment. They were in the same configuration as they had been months before when Matt had had to tell Sylvie that he had to leave Chicago. Thirteen months later, here he was, sitting at the same table, in the flat he called home, with that special wallpaper, all the trinkets Sylvie had collected since she'd moved to Chicago, and pictures of them and their loved ones scattered around the flat.
"I never gave up on the idea of returning to Chicago before these three years, I never gave up on coming back to you as soon as possible, on building our life together as soon as possible. When I was trying to talk to you about it, right after I left, I could see right away how hard it was for you so I decided to keep fighting but not to tell you, not to tell anyone. Only Boden and the boys know all the steps I've taken and the appointments I've had with the social worker."
"Severide doesn't know," Sylvie asked innocently.
Matt let out a breathless laugh, "No. He doesn't know anything, I quickly realised I shouldn't get his hopes up either." Sylvie replied with a smile, she knew Severide had also struggled with Matt's unexpected departure. She had seen him lost in the firehouse glancing furtively around Matt's old quarters. She'd watched him try to forge slightly deeper relationships with the other members of 51 since he'd always spent so much of his time with Matt.
"I still don't understand, how did you manage to get permission to bring Ben to Chicago?"
"For months, at each visit with the social worker I brought up the subject but I always met with opposition on her part. It wasn't the time, Ben was making progress that shouldn't be disturbed, a year and a half or three years didn't make much difference to her... She finally agreed when Ben told her that he was being harassed by people he used to hang out with and that he wanted to leave to start fresh somewhere else with his family..." Matt stopped talking when he felt Sylvie's hand clutch his tightly and her eyes darken at the thought that Ben might be in danger, "Nothing bad happened Sylvie. These boys started hanging around Ben's new school, they came and threw eggs at the car and the house and mostly sent Ben hateful and violent messages. He went to the social worker before he even told me. I don't know in details what he said to her, but she then called me to meet and said that she agreed, because of the situation, that Ben should come with me to Chicago. She didn't say anything else."
"Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?"
"It was three weeks ago and it all happened in a very short period of time, we only got the go-ahead for the move a few days after we got the messages. Ben asked me not to tell you about it because he didn't want you to worry and he wanted us to announce our return face to face."
"Such a cutie." Sylvie replied before slapping Matt on the arm.
"Ouch, why did you do that?"
"Matt, I've spent five days anxious and scared about the future."
Matt gently slid his hands to the back of Sylvie's head, his fingers threading through her hair, he brought their faces together until their foreheads touched "We're having a baby, half you and half me."
"I know, it's definitely a surprise but the best surprise ever," she responded with a little smile. Although she had been frightened in recent days about the future and the sacrifices she would have to make, she had never stopped looking forward to this birth. A baby with Matt was a real blessing and ever since she found out she was pregnant she had dreamed every night of this blonde, blue-eyed baby surrounded by so much love.
She took Matt's hands and led him to the sofa that had witnessed so many important moments in their lives as a couple. Once seated, Matt followed Sylvie's gaze and saw that she was taking out a small white envelope from one of the drawers of the huge cupboard leaning against the wall.
Sylvie sat down next to Matt and handed him the envelope, he noticed that her eyes sparkled and were filled with tears but this time the smile on her face indicated the happiness she was feeling at that moment. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and she encouraged him with a smile and a nod to open the mysterious envelope.
His breath caught as he realised what it was. Their baby's first ultrasound. He felt his own tears welling up at the sight of that little black and white bean and the fact that their baby would soon join them.
A wave of emotion washed over him. He had always dreamed of being a father, and this dream had always been snatched from him. In the last few months, away from Sylvie, he had begun to dream even more about the future and the life they would build together. He could already see their home filled with laughter, song and love. He could already hear the sound their children's little feet would make as they ran through their home.
His dream was finally coming true and he couldn't be happier.
His fingertips skimmed over their little bean before stopping on what was written at the bottom of the ultrasound "Baby Casey". There would be a baby Casey in a few months, it was the most real and unreal thing he'd ever experienced.
He lifted his head and his gaze met Sylvie's. She was biting her lip as if to avoid smiling too much and he couldn't help but grab her face and kiss her fervently to let her know how he felt.
Their foreheads remained connected before he asked, "Are you sure you don't want it to be Baby Brett-Casey? I'd be fine with that too. This baby is going to have the strength and kindness of the Bretts after all."
"Nah, I always imagined our babies would be Caseys."
"Okay, whatever you want," he punctuated each word with a kiss making Sylvie giggle. Their happiness was truly contagious and they both knew that they would not be coming down from their little cloud anytime soon. "So you're imagining several little Caseys."
She laughed and nodded before snuggling into Matt, "At least two, maybe three."
He placed a kiss in Sylvie's hair and let his nose rest there before replying, "That sounds perfect and one day Sylvie Brett I'll ask you to marry me and you'll become Sylvie Brett-Casey." He had no doubt that day would come soon. Sylvie was the partner he had always dreamed of to face all the trials of life with.
In one swift movement, she straddled Matt. Her hands tenderly cupped Matt's cheeks before she brought her lips to his and whispered, "And when that day comes, I will say yes and carry the name Casey with pride."
Matt's gaze changed and Sylvie could immediately detect the flames in his eyes. It was time to finally celebrate both their good news, she kissed him passionately, to which he promptly responded and stood up, with Sylvie's legs expertly wrapped around his waist, leading them to the bedroom.
***
A few hours later, after enjoying their peaceful cocoon, Matt and Sylvie were at the loft door to have lunch with Stella and Kelly, and with the Dardens that Cindy had already dropped off at the flat.
Sylvie grabbed Matt's hand mid-air before Matt turned the handle so they could enter the loft. "Wait, what are we doing? Do we tell everyone I'm pregnant? I can't drink and Stella will suspect something."
Matt squeezed Sylvie's hand before giving her the choice, "If you want us to tell them today then we do, we can also wait. We'll do what you want."
Sylvie bit her lip, staring into space, before replying, "It's early in the pregnancy so there is always a risk but I also want the boys and our best friends to know. I don't want to keep this from them and if I'm honest I'm not very good at keeping secrets..."
Matt laughed at Sylvie's pout as she acknowledged her lack of ability to keep secrets and kissed her wrinkled forehead "So we're telling them today. Come on, let's go celebrate our good news some more."
They immediately entered the loft and were greeted with a picture that made them even happier. Stella and Ben were playing a game of basketball with big smiles on their faces while Kelly and Griffin were finishing cooking dinner.
Stella was the first to see them and ran over to them to give them a hug, "Hey guys, I'm so glad the six of us can have this meal. Come on, the food is almost ready."
Sylvie reciprocated her best friend's hug before kissing her on the cheek, "You're in a much better mood than the last shift."
Stella kept her hold on Sylvie with her arm around Sylvie's shoulders and guided them further into the loft, "Girl, it's all thanks to you and the miracles you produced. Best maid of honor ever." Stella turned to the Dardens before continuing, "I'm just sorry that my bridezilla side has scared the boys away at the Hermanns."
Griffin was the first to respond and, while wiping his hands after chopping the last of the vegetables for the salad, revealed with a smirk something rather interesting, "Don't worry Stella, we understand, besides Ben is particularly fond of the ladies at the Hermanns."
All the adults in the room remained silent for a moment while staring at Ben who turned red. Sylvie was the first to react and with a huge smile approached him. "We are talking about Annabelle, aren't we? I totally approve, Annabelle is fantastic. Oh, plus you're going to go to the same high school as her when you come to Chicago."
"Sylvieeee..." grumbled Ben as he accepted the slightly loose hug she was giving him. It had taken him a while to acclimate to Sylvie's presence but now Ben was now extremely close to Sylvie and they had formed a very valuable bond. The only person that Ben was tactile with was actually Sylvie. He would never admit it but Sylvie's affection had done him a lot of good in the last few months, he had realised in part thanks to Sylvie that he deserved to be loved and protected and for that he would always be grateful.
"Okay, okay, let's stop talking about Ben's love life. Let's eat, it smells great Severide." She had noticed over the last few days that she was hungry all the time and the lasagna Kelly had made smelled divine.
As everyone settled around the table, Griffin pointed out something that everyone seemed to have missed, "Did I hear right? Sylvie knows you're moving back to Chicago. »
Matt and Sylvie exchanged glances before nodding, their dazzling smiles illustrating their delight at finally not being apart.
Stella stood up hurriedly, grabbed a bottle of champagne from the fridge before placing it on the table, "I'm so happy for you all. We need to toast to Casey and Ben's return. Kelly we need four flutes of champagne. Sorry, boys, you're still underage."
Matt saw Ben roll his eyes and gave him a light tap under the table to which Ben reacted by flinching and then sending a charming smile to his guardian to absolve himself.
Matt was distracted when Sylvie squeezed Matt's hand which was resting on Sylvie's thigh, "It'll only be three flutes Kelly. I'm not having champagne."
Stella frowned and exclaimed, "Come on Sylvie, we're celebrating your man's return."
Sylvie laughed softly at Stella's enthusiasm, she glanced at Matt who encouraged her with a small smile lighting up his face and she continued, "I can't because I'm pregnant Stella."
A silence filled the room until Stella stood up so hastily that her chair fell noisily to the floor. Her hands went to her face and her eyes welled up with tears, " You're pregnant?"
Sylvie was overcome with emotion as she saw her best friend succumb to her own emotions. She placed a kiss on Matt's cheek, whose smile had not disappeared and who seemed equally blown away by Stella's reaction, she pushed back her own chair and in a tearful voice replied, "Yeah, you and Severide are going to have a little godbaby."
Stella circled the table in just two strides and engulfed her best friend in a tight embrace, "I am so so happy for you, you are going the best mom ever and I am going to be the best godmom ever."
Understanding that Stella and Sylvie should be left in their own bubble for the time being, Ben, Griffin and Kelly rushed to Matt. Kelly squeezed Matt's shoulder first before wrapping him in a manly hug, "Congrats Dad!"
"Congrats to the godfather too!" The smile that appeared on Kelly's face was one of those rare dazzling smiles that Matt had seen on Kelly's face on rare occasions.
Matt and Sylvie had discussed the baby's godparents a few hours earlier when they were still snuggled together under the warmth of their duvet. There had been no hesitation for their choice. Their friendships with Stella and Kelly were deep and unbreakable. Apart from their family members, they trusted Stella and Kelly the most to take care of their baby in case of trouble. And, they also knew that Stella and Kelly would do everything they could to build a relationship with this child and love it as if it were their own. Their reactions proved to them that Sylvie and Matt were right in their choice, although they never doubted it.
"I'm so happy for you guys," Griffin said as he hugged tightly Matt and then Sylvie. He was also exuding happiness.
Then, after Kelly had hugged Sylvie and Stella had done the same with Matt, the congratulations died down a little and all eyes were back on Ben who for the moment had said nothing. Sensing that everyone was looking at him, he finally responded, "I want the baby to be a girl."
Matt laughed and replied, "Ben, you know we don't choose the sex of the baby, right?"
Ben said while rubbing the back of his head, "I know but I already have a brother, a little sister would be great." Everyone smiled fondly at this statement, the young boy who was angry at the world was long gone, replaced by a calm, gentle and curious boy.
Sylvie let her emotions overwhelm her once again and threw herself at Ben and Griffin who had repositioned himself next to his brother. These two boys now had a piece of her heart and she was relieved that the announcement of the arrival of a baby did not make them doubt their place in this very special family.
Finally, after so much apprehension about Matt and the boys visiting, Sylvie felt as if her heart was going to explode with happiness. Her life was nothing like the one she had imagined when she and Matt had finally gotten together, but she had just realised, standing in the loft with five of the people she loved most in the world, that she couldn't be happier than this.
***
`Seven months later
"When is the baby coming?" whispered Amelia, her head resting on Sylvie's bouncing belly, her little hand drawing unidentifiable shapes on it, and her hair still tangled, from waking up from her nap about fifteen minutes ago, framing her sweet face.
"In three weeks," Sylvie replied, gently stroking her little sister's hair before guiding her to stand up so she could untangle her hair and tie it into two pigtails.
Being four years old and unable to stay still for more than a few moments, Amelia grabbed a coloring book and began to draw while waiting for Sylvie to finish doing her hair.
"Is she going to know who I am?" asked Amelia innocently, turning her head slightly to look at Sylvie.
"Of course, she's heard your voice a lot so far, so she'll recognize you," Sylvie replied before placing a kiss on her little sister's nose as the little girl giggled in response, "Come on, we have to hurry if we want to get to Fowlerton before dinner."
"I can't wait to see the baby horse, Grandpa told me on the phone that I could name him!" declared Amelia, jumping up and down on the couch. Sylvie's smile widened as she heard her little sister call her father "Grandpa".
After Julie's death, finding a balance with Scott and the rest of her family wasn't always easy. She wanted to respect her stepfather and his family, she also wanted to respect Julie's family even though few of them were still alive.
Also, even if, from a purely biological standpoint, Scott and Amelia were not related to the Brett family, Sylvie’s parents and brother had welcomed them with opened arms.
Yet Scott surprised her with his openness and willingness to make things work and for their respective families to blend together to create a solid foundation in Amelia's life. He wanted the little girl to feel loved and supported, he couldn't bring her mother back but he could make sure she didn't miss anything else.
Sylvie could not help but remember that moment when Amelia and the Bretts' relationship took a major step forward, when she was no longer just Sylvie's little sister, although Sylvie suspects that her parents never thought of Amelia as just that, and that the little girl became their granddaughter. Being as amazing as they are they didn’t take the lead and let Amelia and Scott enter their family and forged their own special place in it at their own rhythms.
The Bretts' opened their doors to Amelia and Scott for a holiday on the farm and the little girl and Scott fell in love with the place and the Bretts' kindness.
Two years after Amelia's first visit to the farm, and after many more visits, Amelia was coming for a long weekend, this time without her daddy who had to work, but with Matt, Sylvie, Griffin and Ben.
Once her two little ponytails were done, Amelia rushed up the stairs and shouted "Griff, Benny, Matt we goiiiiing."
She then turned to Sylvie who was leaning on the back of the sofa and gave her a cheeky smile. She did not realise that the boys were coming downstairs and did not see Griffin coming towards her slowly. In surprise, he grabbed her by her small waist and swung her onto his shoulders. Amelia laughed profusely and tried to tickle Griffin into putting her down, but Ben jumped in and started tickling her.
Ben, Griffin and Amelia loved each other. Whenever the little girl was in Chicago, Griffin, who had transferred from college to be with his family in Chicago, would try to come so he wouldn't miss a moment with Amelia. When the three of them were at home, laughter was aplenty, kisses and hugs were constantly exchanged, and the day often ended with the three of them falling asleep watching a cartoon of Amelia's choosing.
Matt finally went downstairs, the laughter coming from the ground floor motivating him to speed up, and he stopped in the middle of the staircase to watch the battle taking place in front of him under the eyes of Sylvie who was tenderly caressing her pregnant belly.
Like Sylvie a few months earlier, when the pregnancy was announced, Matt was struck by a wave of happiness. He never thought he would be able to repair his relationship with his sister and consequently his niece. He never thought he would see his dead best friend's children again. He never thought he would find a family outside the one he was born into. He never thought he would find the partner he had always dreamed of and that she would give him the greatest gift of his life, their daughter. He was extremely lucky now, because he finally had it all.
They were all deeply happy and together they would face all the trials that life would throw at them.