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Along Came a Spider

Summary:

Peter stared at himself, dejectedly. "I look ridiculous."

"Mmmm. Don't be silly, Candy Corn. You look perfect." Wade nuzzled the side of the hood and threaded his hands between sets two and three of the arms.

"You look perfect, Miss Muffet."

Wade cooed in Peter's ear in a soft tone. "Oooh. I love it when you call me that. Say the rhyme, CobWebs.'

Notes:

Happy Spooktober! This is a prompt fill for Isn't It Bromantic Fic-Or-Treat 2022. It's also based on a meme prompt that I gave myself. See the end for visual references. They are spooktacular.

Work Text:

Peter sighed and slouched at the mirror in the dressing room. This was not happening. It was definitely, definitely not happening.

"How's it going, Spookums?" Wade's singsong voice sounded so dang happy that Peter tried to hide his misery.

"It's…interesting. A little frumpy. Are you sure this makes sense?"

"Of course! It's genius. No one will recognize you, you'll just be my hot little Spider twink."

It's not that anyone would recognize him at a costume party in a mercenary bar, anyway. And he'd insisted on going all the way to Newark to even step foot in a Spirit Halloween with Wade Wilson, the known alter-ego of Deadpool. No, that wasn't the problem. Peter just wasn't that into…dressing up.

"Um. This isn't really reading 'twink'. More…man child."

"Oh, it can't be so bad, Eddie Munster. Come show me."

Peter sighed again and exited to knock lightly on the next stall over. Wade opened the door to his stall with an elegant pose, one arm draped across the doorframe and another at his jutted hip.

Peter gaped. His eyes bulged. His brain went, bawoooga.

Wade, all 6'7 of him including the pink spiked heels, wore a black corset over a pink and white frock, cut around his shoulders and dipping low across his pecs. Layers of chiffon swished around his thighs, and sleek white stockings with little pink bows stretched up past his knees. His blond, pigtailed wig was demurely covered by a cute white bonnet.

"Oh! Baby Boy, it's adorable!" Wade grabbed Peter by the collar and yanked him into the stall. He stood Peter in front of him so he could see them both in the mirror.

Peter barely came up to Wade's armpits. His costume was a furry, black onesie that zipped up to a hood. Four red eyes covered the sides of the hood, and big black fangs framed his forehead. Hanging from his arms, connected by strings, were two other sets of stuffed arms. 

Peter stared at himself, dejectedly. "I look ridiculous."

"Mmmm. Don't be silly, Candy Corn. You look perfect." Wade nuzzled the side of the hood and threaded his hands between sets two and three of the arms. 

" You look perfect, Miss Muffet."

Wade cooed in Peter's ear in a soft tone. "Oooh. I love it when you call me that. Say the rhyme, CobWebs.'

Peter blushed and tried to pull away. "Nooo…that's goofy."

Quick as a whip, Wade swiveled Peter around and had him against the back wall of the small dressing room with his hands at Peter's waist. The fabric of his dress swished. He ducked his forehead against Peter's and met his eyes with a pleading expression,  whispering: "Say the rhyme, please? I'll make it worth your while."

Peter hesitated. We're in a goddamn pop-up costume shop… But he started anyway, in a low whisper.

"... Little Miss Muffet…"

"Mmmm, yes, that's me, Caramel Apples." Wade ran his hands up Peter's sides and lifted him up, pressing him against the wall so his hips were at Wade's chest height. "Hold on little Spidey…" Wade instructed, and Peter gripped the wall with his hands and bare feet, so his knees were bent and his hips thrust out towards Wade. His head was just barely below the level of the stall walls.

"...Sat on a tuffet…" Peter said breathlessly. Then, "Wade!" In a whispered complaint as Wade unzipped his front from neck to groin. Underneath, he was only wearing the pumpkin-printed boxers Wade had gifted him this morning…

"What do you think a tuffet is anyway? I think it's just old-timey slang for her ass." Wade bent at the waist and reached back to flip up his skirt. Peter could see Wade's bare bottom in the mirror on the door behind him. 

"Oh, come'on, Baby Girl. No panties, how slutty…" Peter scolded in a harsh whisper, but then bit his lip and stared longingly at the long, stockinged legs, ending in a shapely, taught behind with a slit that not quite, but almost, gave Peter a full show. 

"Ah ah ah, say the rhyme, Pumpkin Spice." 

"Oh, damn...eating…her curds…and whey…" Wade ripped down the boxers and grabbed Peter, stroking his shaft with one hand and fondling him with the other. "Mmmm. I love your curds and whey, Count Twunkula. Can't wait to taste that milky goodness…" Then he licked, nibbled, teased, and finally stuffed Peter's hard cock into his mouth up to the hilt. 

"Uuuuhhhhhgggh…" Peter moaned softly. He was pretty sure the whole store could hear this, but he was trying to figure out how much he cared and coming up short, at the moment.

"Along…c-c-c-came a spider…"

Wade pulled off to reply. "Not coming yet, I hope. We haven't even gotten to the best part, my little Trickery Treat." He generously licked a finger, staring up at Peter to make sure he knew what was coming next.

"Oh no…no no…" Wage teased the tender skin around Peter's hole with his wet fingertip. 

"You keep the rhyming and I’ll keep the timing, Jack-Off Skellington," Wade cooed.

"...and sat..EEE!...down...unff!…beside her…" Wade's finger was in him and he was sure the whole store heard that yelp. Wade wrapped his lips around Peter's dick but then just stared up at him, not moving anything - finger, mouth, or other hand, which was firmly gripping his balls. Wade's scarred, chiseled face looked so adorable, framed by blond curls and a frilled bonnet, pouting lips poised around Peter like a lollipop. The words eked out of Peter as he tried to stretch out the rhyme to meet the heat building between his legs.

"And…" Wade bobbed his head slowly, and his finger moved in time along Peter's back wall and prostate, making him shudder. 

"...Frightened…" Wade closed his eyes and sucked harder and faster. 

"Uhhnn…Miss Muffet…" Peter said the name Wade was currently going by in a needy whine. Wade's finger curled against him in a 'come-hither' motion that was definitely making him come and hither. His knees felt weak but his feet still gripped tightly to the wall behind him.

"Oh God, oh God…" Wade froze for a moment, looking up at Peter with a smile toying at the sides of his very full mouth.

"Aaaaaa-waaaaayyy! Oh shit. Oh shit !" He was whispering hoarsely as his hips bucked against Wade's face. Wade sucked and swallowed three times as Peter spasmed into his mouth. 

Peter was huffing, mind reeling in ecstasy, forgetting for a moment that he was up against a cold concrete wall, in a scratchy fake fur costume, under the harsh fluorescent lighting of a big box store.

But then his attention snapped back to that reality as he heard a knock on the stall door. "Everything all right in there?" came the slightly concerned voice of a middle-aged female employee. 

Peter and Wade locked eyes with equally panicked expressions. Then Wade drew off Peter's dick and answered, "oh, fine, just, uh, having trouble finding the right size. This one's a real tight fit." Peter threw a hand over his mouth to stifle a guffaw.

"Ok, well let me know if I can get you anything, sir!" Thankfully, the attendant seemed blissfully unaware of what was happening on the other side of the door. 

"…Yeah," whispered Peter, "I think this is the perfect couples costume." Miss Muffet smiled, his lips glistening with a healthy coating of Peter's curds and whey.

. . .

 

. . .

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