Chapter Text
SEPTEMBER 1987
Eddie has never thought of himself as a particularly jealous person. He’s never been jealous with any of his prior girlfriends or flings, so the hot lava feeling that rises up in his gut when he sees Chrissy laughing with some square-jawed jock takes him by surprise.
The Emilio Estevez look-a-like is holding Chrissy’s books in one arm, his other hand reaching up to brush her shoulder. She shakes her head, nose crinkling with her laugh, and Eddie wants to rip this dude’s arm off.
Instead he takes a deep breath and puts on his best broad smile. “Hey sweetheart. How was class?”
It’s the first week back in classes. Chrissy has just come out of her American Literature elective, and Eddie is fully prepared with a coffee from her favorite shop on the corner. He holds it out and her eyes light up. She bounces up on her toes to kiss him, puffing him up a little in the face of his own jealousy.
“It was great,” she chirps, taking the offered coffee. “Thank you so much. Eddie, this is Jake. Jake, this is Eddie.”
He tries not to bristle that she doesn’t point out that he’s her boyfriend. She did just kiss him, though, and they’ve traded pet names, so he supposes the boyfriend of it all is probably pretty heavily implied. Eddie reaches out to shake Jake’s hand – of course his name is Jake.
“Nice to meet you,” Eddie says as diplomatically as he can manage. He nods to Chrissy’s books. “I can take those off your hands.”
Jake gives him a tight smile and hands them off. “Chrissy was just telling me they’re using her choreography for the pep rally this weekend.”
Chrissy beams and Eddie’s smile falls a bit. He didn’t know that. She hasn’t mentioned it, but he knows she must be proud of herself. She’d been killing herself all summer trying to come up with something good enough that the coach might use.
“Jake’s on the football team,” Chrissy supplies.
Yeah. Of course Jake is on the goddamn football team.
“Cool, cool,” Eddie says, rocking on his toes. “You ready for lunch, Chris?”
She nods, ponytail bouncing, and waves at Jake. “See you tomorrow.”
He smiles at her warmly – too warmly, in Eddie’s estimation – and waves back. “Yeah, it’s a date.”
It’s a what now?
Chrissy just weaves her arm through Eddie’s and starts leading them away toward the dining hall, where they’re set to meet Steve and Robin for lunch. They all have the same gap between classes this semester, and Chrissy shares her afternoon block with Steve. They’re both taking the same childhood development class – her for her psych major, Steve for his education degree.
“So, what are you doing with Jake tomorrow?” Eddie asks, and he can’t keep the snark out of his voice when he says the other guy’s name.
Chrissy doesn’t seem to notice. “Oh, we’re going to go over some reading together. This professor is a bear. We have our first quiz next week already.”
Eddie clears his throat. “Did you know him from last year?”
Chrissy shakes her head. “Not really. I only went to a few of the after parties and I didn’t interact much with the team. Jake’s a wide receiver and the position was pretty locked up last year so he was riding the bench, but those guys graduated so this year is his shot.”
Eddie, frankly, has no clue what a wide receiver does on a football field. It could be a position on the cheer squad and he’d have no idea.
“Good for him, I guess.”
Chrissy hums. “Hey, it doesn’t bug you that I’m going to study with a guy, right?”
Eddie splutters. It does bother him, but it also bothers him that it bothers him. He’s not going to be that boyfriend. He refuses.
“Nah, of course not.”
She gives his arm a little squeeze. “Good. You know you’re my favorite.”
“Given what we did this morning, I’d hope so,” Eddie says with a smirk. She giggles and presses her forehead to his shoulder.
“ Eddie.”
He presses a kiss to the top of her head and tries to put Jake from Football out of his mind. He’s just some random jock – they’re a dime a dozen, and Chrissy has been surrounded by these guys since she was fourteen. If she wanted a football player, she’d have a football player.
But Chrissy wants him, a metalhead former burnout. He remembers how she’d looked when he woke up in the hospital a few months ago, the way she’d been so scared.
Yeah, Chrissy loves him. He knows it. So being jealous of some square-jawed blonde guy is pointless.
***
When the night of the pep rally arrives, Eddie is at The Hideout, hanging with Jeff and Gareth to check out the band playing. Eddie has never really been a school spirit guy and Chrissy knows that. Sure, he started showing up for basketball games to watch her dance at halftime, but that was really it. He’s never been to a football game, and he’s certainly never been to a pep rally in his life.
Chrissy gets that — she gets him — so it went without saying that he wouldn’t be at this one, either. He feels a little weird about it, frankly, since Chrissy did the choreography herself, but she hadn’t even told him that, so it must not matter that much to her.
Plus their friends are there. Nancy is covering it for the paper, Jonathan is taking photos for the same reason, Robin is in the band, and Barb and Steve are going just for the fun of it. Barb likes the school spirit stuff, and Steve is trying to put himself out there more to get over Nancy, so it’s not like Chrissy doesn’t have anyone there to watch her.
Besides, Jeff had asked if they could scout the Friday band in their quest to take over a weekend slot. It probably is helpful, to know what the manager is looking for in a weekend band. Tuesdays are great but Fridays or Saturdays would pay better, and for most of the year Eddie’s Fridays are free since Chrissy has cheer stuff going on.
The Friday band is good — they’re more of a standard rock vibe than Corroded Coffin is, less heavy and a lot less metal, but they can certainly play. Unless they all want to start covering Bon Jovi and Dire Straits, Eddie is pretty sure Corroded Coffin is going to continue to be a Tuesday thing.
When the show is over Eddie checks his watch and sees the time. The rally should be over by now and he told Chrissy he’d meet her and the Usual Suspects at the cheer house for the after party. Jeff and Gareth tag along tonight — Jeff’s crush on Barb growing by the day, as far as Eddie can tell — and when they arrive at the house off campus the party is already swinging.
The glowering cheerleader with deep red hair at the door lets them in immediately — her name is Vanessa and she’s terrifying but she loves Chrissy and has warmed to Eddie for that reason and that reason alone. When Eddie spots the red-gold hair of his girlfriend, his stomach drops. Standing close to her and speaking in her ear is Jake.
“Who the hell is that?” Jeff scoffs. “Looking awful friendly with Chrissy.”
Eddie shakes his head roughly. “Some guy from her AmLit class.”
Gareth snorts. “He definitely seems to be studying your girl.”
Eddie tries not to be the kind of guy who thinks of Chrissy as his. She’s not property. His rational brain knows that. But, his primal lizard brain — that’s a whole other story. He’s never really had a reason to feel outright possessive of Chrissy until now, and that feeling is coursing through his veins.
Jeff claps him on the shoulder and takes off after Barb, who is talking animatedly with Robin in a corner. She looks up with a pleased smile when Jeff reaches her and leans in for a hug.
“Eddie!” Steve calls from across the room. Chrissy’s eyes snap up immediately and she smiles at him, her widest sweetest kind that she mostly only aims at him. It cools him off a little and he waves at Steve before beelining for Chrissy.
Instead of kissing him, like she normally would, Chrissy hugs him around the middle and gives him a squeeze. He feels a little cold.
“Hi Eddie,” she says, letting him go. “How was the band?”
He shrugs. “Good. Kinda generic. Probably more palatable for the masses than we are.”
Chrissy frowns. “You guys are amazing.”
He puts his arm back around her, slinging it across her hips as he nods at Jake in a subdued greeting.
“You’re one to talk,” Jake teases. “You shoulda seen our girl tonight, her choreo was a big hit.”
As Chrissy goes pink, Eddie bristles like a cornered cat. Our girl? Who the hell does this dude think he is? He’s known Chrissy for what, ten minutes?
“Oh, come on. We always get applause like that.”
Jake wags his finger at her. “Nope. Not like that. You’re a superstar, Daisy.”
Daisy? What the fuck?
“Sorry I missed it,” Eddie says, running his hand up and down Chrissy’s side. She’s leaning into him, but she still hasn’t kissed him.
Jake looks between them with raised eyebrows. “Yeah, I was surprised you weren’t there. Kind of a big night for Chris.”
Chrissy looks down at her shoes, her face falling. Eddie’s heart stutters uncomfortably in his chest. Had she actually wanted him to come tonight? She hadn’t told him, but Chrissy is terrible at asking for the things she wants.
“Pep rallies aren’t really my deal,” Eddie says, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of showing how rattled he’s feeling, and watches as Jake gives him an appraising once-over. It’s like high school all over again.
“Totally. Well, to each their own I guess. You missed out though.”
Chrissy looks back up and steps away from Eddie. “I’m going to grab a drink.”
Eddie furrows his brow and reaches out to tangle their hands. “I’ll come with you.”
“Bye, Jake,” Chrissy says, and tugs Eddie toward the kitchen. When Eddie looks back, Jake is watching them go with a pensive look on his face.
“Hey,” Eddie says, pulling her aside when they get to the kitchen. “Did I screw up by not coming tonight?”
Chrissy shakes her head but her eyes tell a different story. “You’d have been bored.”
Eddie chuckles uneasily. “That’s not a no, Princess. Did you want me there?”
Chrissy throws her hands up, disconnecting them. She looks frustrated. “Yeah, Eddie, I did. It kind of sucks that you’re too cool for the stuff that matters to me, sometimes, okay?”
Eddie’s eyes go wide. “What?”
Chrissy blinks and he realizes she’s teary eyed. Good god. This is not his goddamn night.
“I get that you think it’s all stupid, but it was a big deal for me that Coach used my choreo.”
She abbreviates the word, just like Jake did. He wonders how much she talked about it with Jake this week, when she hadn’t even mentioned it to him.
“You didn’t even tell me she was using it,” Eddie fires back, defensive.
“Because I knew you wouldn’t care,” she says, and she just sounds small and sad.
“Of course I care,” Eddie insists.
“You saw how hard I worked this summer to come up with those moves,” Chrissy says, crossing her arms. “And you didn’t even offer to come this time.”
Eddie bites his lip and looks toward the ceiling, searching for the words. “Well if it was so important to you why did I only hear about it from your new best friend?”
Those were — not the words he was searching for. Chrissy scoffs and shakes her head.
“Because I knew you wouldn’t care,” she repeats.
“I don’t really get the cheerleading thing but of course I would have cared.”
Chrissy tilts her head, looking at him so sadly that he wants to smack himself in the face. “I don’t really get Megadeth either, but I took you to their concert.”
He’s not really sure what to say to that. Chrissy sighs heavily and pushes off from the wall she’s been leaning on.
“It would be nice if you didn’t treat my hobbies as less than yours, that’s all,” Chrissy says with a shrug. “I — I kind of thought you’d be there tonight. As a surprise. I kept searching the stands for you but once I saw Barb and Steve without you I knew you weren’t coming.”
Now that really tightens his throat. His anger at Jake has melted into a pit of guilt that’s swallowing him whole.
“Sweetheart —“
She brushes under her eyes, like she’s trying not to cry, and moves to walk past him. “It’s fine, Eddie. I should have known better.”
“I love you,” Eddie says, low and serious as he stops her from walking away with gentle hands on her shoulders. “And I’m really fuckin’ proud of you, okay? I should have been there and you shouldn’t have needed to tell me that.”
He takes her face in his hands and kisses her, a little desperate, trying to show her how sorry he is that he let her down.
When he pulls away she smiles at him, a little shaky but real, and her hands fist his shirt at his hips.
“I love you too,” she tells him softly. “Maybe — maybe if Coach ever uses my stuff again —“
“I’ll be there front and goddamn center, Chrissy, I promise.”
She nods, biting her lip. “I’m sorry I told Jake before I told you. I just thought you’d think it was stupid, but Jake gets it, you know?”
Eddie’s stomach rolls. Chrissy feels like Jake gets part of her better than Eddie does. He’s made her think he thinks cheer is stupid — he doesn’t , he thinks Chrissy is incredible — and that’s on him.
“Baby, I don’t think anything about you is stupid,” Eddie says, squeezing her hands and bringing them both to his mouth so he can kiss them. “I may not have Hawkins U spirit but I’m the biggest fan of you and what you can do.”
Her smile widens and she finally, finally leans up and kisses him first, for the first time tonight. The pit of guilt recedes a little bit and he smooths his hands over her hair.
Steve interrupts them, his arm thrown around a bleach blonde from the cheer team that Eddie thinks is named Kim, and for the rest of the night things seem normal.
Well, normal except for Jake, who takes Eddie’s seat on the couch beside Chrissy when he gets up to go to the bathroom. When Eddie returns, Jake has his arm on the back of the couch behind her and Steve’s blonde girl is giving him a Truth or Dare.
“Truth,” Jake responds immediately.
“Who is the hottest cheerleader?” Kim fires back.
Jake doesn’t even hesitate — he drops his arm to fall around Chrissy, gives her a small squeeze, and grins. He keeps his arm around her, even as she stiffens.
“Chrissy Cunningham, hands down.”
Chrissy blushes bright red and notices that Eddie has returned. She wriggles off the couch so she can pop up and stand in front of Eddie, grabbing his hands and wrapping them around her from behind.
Every muscle in his body is tense. Even Chrissy’s touch doesn’t help. He appreciates what she’s doing — trying to make it clear to Jake that she’s with Eddie — but it’s not really helping. He rests his chin on the top of her head, trying to control his breathing, when Jake smirks at Eddie.
“Truth or dare, Eddie?”
Eddie narrows his eyes a little. “Truth, I guess.”
He doesn’t want to say dare and give Jake a reason to send Eddie away for some stupid dare, leaving Chrissy with Jake. Besides, Eddie is a pretty open book. He’s not really worried about it.
“If you had to choose between Chrissy and your band, who are you choosing?”
Eddie tightens his grip around Chrissy but rolls his eyes. What a dumb attempt at a trap. “Chrissy, obviously.”
Chrissy leans back further into him and tilts her chin up. “Obviously.”
He smiles at her, still kind of tight and tense, and kisses her forehead. Chrissy sighs happily.
“Wanna go home, baby?” Chrissy asks softly. He nods and moves to her side, taking her hand.
“We’re gonna head home,” Eddie announces.
“I’ll be at Eddie’s,” Chrissy tells Robin. “See you tomorrow!”
They leave the party hand in hand, and Eddie feels the burn of Jake’s eyes on his back. He tries to shake it off. At least Jake made it very clear, to just about everyone, what his intentions are. Hopefully that means Chrissy will put up a wall between them like he’s done with Mandy.
It’s easy to forget about Jake when they get back to his place. Unlike last year, when they were at the same party, he doesn’t sleep on the couch. And this time, Chrissy doesn’t bother with his pajamas.
***
The next night, Eddie does something he swore he would never do.
He’s attending a football game . He and Steve, along with Barb, are sitting third row back from where the cheerleaders set up on the sideline. Chrissy looks adorable in her green and gold uniform, as always, with a little more makeup on than he’s used to seeing.
When she spots him, unmistakable in a crowd of green with his black leather jacket, she lights up like the goddamn sun and it’s worth dealing with the idiots all around him if it makes her this happy that he’s here.
He hadn’t told her he was coming. He didn’t want her to feel like he was just doing it to make last night up to her — which he is, but he also wants to prove that he cares about her interests, and he knows how hard she works at this. If she can come to every Corroded Coffin show, he can start coming to football games.
It’s not like high school. No one is trying to bully him in the bleachers. He feels a little dumb that he’s let his past experiences cloud something as silly as a football game, especially when that means he’s let Chrissy down.
But he’s here now, and she’s waving at him enthusiastically and pointing him out to a couple of her cheer friends he’s never met before, like she’s proud to tell people that Eddie is her boyfriend. He gives her a huge smile and a wink, which makes her friends giggle and bump Chrissy with their shoulders.
It turns out football is kind of fun when you’re dating the prettiest girl on the cheer team. Eddie’s not even paying attention to the game. Steve and Barb definitely are, but Eddie is locked onto Chrissy as the squad does dances and cheers between downs, whatever those are. She keeps her eyes on him, her smile bright and real, and when she lands a particularly difficult looking stunt he stands up and goes wild. She blushes and shakes her pom poms in his direction, so he blows her a kiss.
Yeah, okay, fine. He’s going to come to every one of these damn games now, because Chrissy looks so thrilled by his presence and she’s so fun to watch. She’s in her element, allowed to be big and loud and shining in a way she refrains from in her regular life. Here, she flies. She dances, and shouts, and whips her hair around. She struts. He’s seen her do halftime stuff at basketball games but it’s different under the Friday night lights of the stadium.
When halftime comes, the band does a pretty killer medley of popular songs, marching around. Steve pounds his feet, chanting Robin’s name as she runs off the field and she flips him off.
Then the cheerleaders come on, music starting to pound through the stadium. He’s shocked when he hears the opening notes of You Shook Me All Night Long.
They must be using Chrissy’s choreography. He’d watched her from the kitchen this summer as she moved the furniture around and played this song over and over, coming up with the dance and counting through stunts that would fit.
She had grinned at him over her shoulder, calling him a bad influence when she picked out the song. She didn’t think the coach would ever let the team dance to rock.
But here they are, using this music and Chrissy’s choreography at halftime. She once again hadn’t mentioned it this morning, which sort of makes his heart drop. He’d promised he’d be there, and maybe she hadn’t believed him.
He puts that out of his mind and watches the routine. It’s excellent . The cheerleaders look like they’re having so much fun, and the crowd is eating it up. When the chorus hits, the whole student section screams the lyrics. He watched as Chrissy gets tossed in the air, flipping and spinning around before she’s caught.
The dance moves are upbeat and wild and also ridiculously sensual if you ask Eddie, and he just loves it. He loves her. She’s amazing. He’s so proud of her. She’s just a sophomore and she put this together.
When halftime ends, Chrissy skips to the sidelines with her teammates and catches Eddie’s eye. She throws up his signature devil horns, sticking her tongue out with one eye shut. He slaps his hands over his heart dramatically, swooning on top of Steve who rolls his eyes and shoves him away.
Chrissy giggles, blowing him a kiss, and Eddie mouths as clearly as he can “I love you”. She returns it, and then she’s herded by her captain into another short sideline routine before the kickoff.
He pays about as much attention to the second half as he did the first, although he does recognize that Hawkins is winning. When the game ends, Barb leads the way to get onto the field while the rest of the stands file out of the stadium. Barb flashes Nancy’s school paper pass, which somehow works, and the three of them make their way toward the cheerleaders without incident.
Chrissy is bent down, putting something away, when Eddie hears Jake’s voice calling her name as he jogs her way. Chrissy doesn’t seem to hear him, even as he’s getting closer. Instead, Chrissy lifts her head and clocks Eddie.
He barely has time to brace for impact as she comes sprinting at him, taking a flying leap into his arms. He manages to catch her around the waist, her momentum twirling them both around.
“Coach decided earlier that she wanted to do my routine for halftime!” she practically shouts in his ear. “I was going to call you, but I didn’t have time cause we had to run it a thousand times in the gym first.”
He squeezes her tightly and sets her down, pressing his lips to hers.
“It was fucking incredible, bunny.”
She crinkles her nose like a bunny, like she always does when he calls her that, and he feels impossibly tender for her. He kisses her nose and grabs her cheeks in his hands.
“I can’t believe you came to a football game.”
“C’mon, I’d go anywhere for you,” he tells her earnestly. “I’d go to a Madonna concert.”
She laughs, tossing her ponytail. “No you wouldn’t.”
“Try me. I’ll do it.”
She kisses him through her smile, breaking away to greet Steve and Barb. Eddie notices Jake, staring from the outskirts, and pulls Chrissy close. She’s kind of sticky and sweaty, and her thick makeup is definitely leaving marks on his Motörhead shirt, but he couldn’t care less.
“Thank you so much for coming,” she mumbles into his shirt when Robin appears, trying to shove her goofy band hat over Steve’s perfectly coiffed hair.
“I’m not gonna miss any more of these,” Eddie promises. “Honestly, it was super cool to see you do your thing like that.”
“You really think so?” she asks, all wondrous and surprised. He kisses her once, twice, three times.
“Hell yeah.”
She squeezes him tightly with a high pitched noise and shakes him, making him laugh warmly into her ponytail.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too, pretty girl. You wanna go to the after party tonight?”
She shakes her head. “No thanks.”
“You sure?” he asks, craning his neck to look into her eyes. “I’m sure the squad will miss you.”
She smiles softly and shakes her head. “I just wanna be with you tonight, if that’s okay.”
“If that’s okay? A whole night alone with my dream girl, and you’re asking if that’s okay.”
She giggles and tucks herself into his side, shivering a little in the cold September evening. Eddie easily shakes himself out of his jacket and slips it around her.
She looks just like she did that morning last year when he’d walked her to Brenner in her cheer uniform and his jacket, and it absolutely melts him. This past year has been the absolute best of his life, and if he has anything to say about it they’ll just keep getting better.
“Chrissy!” Jake tries one more time.
Chrissy pauses just long enough to look over her shoulder and call out. “I’m heading home with Eddie. Have fun at the party!”
She takes his hand and squeezes it. “Take me home?”
He grins and doesn’t bother looking back at Jake. “Always.”
***
The last weekend of September is Chrissy’s first road weekend with the team. Eddie had gone to both of the following home football games, cheering on Chrissy and taking her home after. Despite his misgivings, Chrissy has continued to study with Jake and occasionally hang out with him on breaks, and he tries really hard not to fight with her about it.
He’d pointed out how Jake had acted at the party after the pep rally, and Chrissy had written it off as Jake being drunk. Chrissy simply won’t hear that Jake is interested in her like that, even though Eddie knows everyone else agrees with him. She keeps insisting that Jake is a “good guy”.
Steve actually has a date on Saturday night, and Eddie decides it’s a good a time as any to hang out alone around the house. Jonathan is at Nancy’s, and the three bedroom house they’re renting together is empty for once.
Eddie’s room is downstairs, right off of the kitchen, while Steve and Jonathan live upstairs. Eddie likes being so close to the phone line, set up in the living room, which turns out to be very convenient on this particular Saturday.
He’s watching TV — a fancy guilt gift from Steve’s parents — when the phone rings near midnight. He plucks it from its receiver.
“Munson-Harrington-Byers residence,” he chirps. “How can I help you?”
As expected, it’s Chrissy. She must be calling from her hotel.
“Eddie?”
“Hey sweetheart,” he greets, tucking the phone between his cheek and his shoulder. “How was the game?”
“Um, good. We won.”
Her voice is shaky and kind of thick. Eddie frowns and sits up straighter.
“Are you okay?”
“I — I have to tell you something.”
Eddie’s stomach flips and he shuts his eyes tightly. He tries to keep his tone even and casual. “What’s up?”
Chrissy is on this weekender trip with Jake. When Eddie had dropped her at the bus Jake had made a big show of offering to sit with her for the drive, and Scary Vanessa had swooped in to insist that Chrissy was going to sit with her.
“Something happened tonight,” Chrissy practically whispers. She sniffles.
“Are you hurt?” Eddie asks seriously. That’s priority number one.
She sniffles loudly again. “No. No, I’m not hurt. But — tonight after the game a bunch of us went out to this little bar, kinda like the Hideout, and um — Jake, he um — he kissed me.”
Her voice cracks on the word kissed and Eddie’s teeth clench so hard he’s surprised his molars don’t break in half.
He fucking knew that piece of garbage jock would make a move on Chrissy. He’s even told her that, and she’d blown him off and pecked his cheek like he was overreacting.
“Don’t really know what to say here, Chrissy.”
He can hear that she’s crying and if he’s honest he’s kind of on the verge of it himself.
“I’m so sorry,” Chrissy says, breaking on a sob. “Eddie I am so sorry.”
The way she’s crying, and apologizing, has Eddie’s head spinning. It’s just occurred to him that maybe —
“Did you kiss him back?”
“No!” Chrissy practically shouts. “No, Eddie, I didn’t, I promise I didn’t. I was so surprised and I kind of stood there for a second but I didn’t, I — I — I didn’t.”
She’s crying really hard now, and the sound clenches his heart but he’s also so goddamn angry, and jealous, and feeling possessive and sick.
“Okay.”
“Please believe me,” Chrissy begs. “Please, I swear.”
He clears his throat and pinches at the bridge of his nose. “I believe you.”
She lets out a rattling, long breath, trying to calm down as she hiccups.
“What are you thinking? Talk to me, Eddie.”
“I’m thinking,” Eddie says, trailing off, “that I don’t really know what I’m thinking.”
She just keeps crying. Eddie doesn’t really know what to say.
“You were right about him,” Chrissy says.
“Yeah,” Eddie grits out, a near-hiss, and he wants to be the kind of guy who can be there for Chrissy right now, who’s feeling betrayed by what she thought was a friend, but he just can’t.
Because Eddie isn’t the last guy to kiss his girlfriend. Because Chrissy acted like Jake was such a good, stand up guy. Because she let him nickname her Daisy after Daisy Buchanan which is frankly kind of a fucking insult.
He’s not enough of an ass to say Chrissy asked for this, but he does think she could have done more to make it crystal clear to Jake that his flirting wasn’t welcome.
“I love you,” Chrissy mumbles pathetically through her tears. “I love you.”
Eddie swallows hard around the lump in his throat. His voice cracks when he speaks. “I love you too.”
He’s not going to withhold that from her, no matter how mad he is. No matter how much he kind of doesn’t want to say it right now.
She gasps in a relieved breath. “You still do?”
He sighs, shaking his head. “Chrissy of course I still love you.”
She’s quiet on the other end of the line, still crying. He hears a door open, and then Vanessa’s voice.
“Chris, Jake’s out in the hall,” Vanessa says.
Eddie’s grip on the phone tightens.
“Tell him to go away!” Chrissy explodes. Vanessa must not have known what happened.
“Oh shit,” he hears Vanessa say. “Are you okay?”
“No!” Chrissy shouts. “Tell him to go away!”
Eddie hears the door get ripped open and Vanessa’s furious voice. “Get the hell out of here, Jake! I don’t know what you did but when I find out you better run and hide!”
“Eddie?” Chrissy asks, voice small and thin. “Are you there?”
“I’m here,” he responds. He doesn’t really feel like he is. He’s kind of floating outside of his body.
“Can I see you tomorrow when I get back?” Chrissy asks.
Eddie gulps and stares at the living room wall. His protective instincts are kicking in. He wants to be alone, like a sick dog. He knows that the worst Chrissy did was be a little too nice to a guy who clearly liked her, he knows the blame really lies with Jake here.
But he feels — bad. Shitty. And the part of his brain that has never felt good enough for Chrissy, that doesn’t think he deserves good things, is screaming at him that she wanted this. That she kept talking to Jake because deep down she knew he was better than Eddie.
And right now, sitting alone in his rented house, Chrissy miles away and crying down the line, that part of his brain wins.
“I don’t know,” he says dully. “I uh, I need some space I think.”
He can hear Chrissy trying to hold back another sob. It escapes.
“Okay. Whatever you need,” she tells him. “I — I love you, Eddie.”
“Love you too,” he mumbles. “I’ll — see you when I see you.”
Then he hangs up the phone, heads straight for the cabinet where they keep their liquor, and pours a heavy glass of straight whiskey. Gripping the counter, he slugs the whole thing back in one gulp, and pours another.
***
Eddie wakes up to Steve talking to someone in the kitchen.
“He’s not up yet,” Steve says. “I can tell him to call you.”
“I need to talk to him now,” a girl says. His brain is fuzzy but he thinks it’s Vanessa. “Chrissy is a mess.”
“Yeah well so is he,” Steve says protectively. “You should have seen him when I got home last night.”
“And you should see Chrissy,” Vanessa fires back. “She didn’t sleep a wink last night, and neither did I. I didn’t know a human being could cry that long.”
His gut twists, either from his hangover or Vanessa’s words or both. Eddie drags himself up, looking around his room in a bleary haze. He’d pulled down the pictures of him and Chrissy from the walls. They’re scattered on the floor.
The door to his bedroom opens before he can put a shirt on and he’s faced with Vanessa, with dark circles under her eyes. She’s in a Hawkins U track suit — Chrissy has one too — and he’s pretty sure she came straight here from the bus.
“Eddie,” Vanessa says, crossing her arms. “I know you’re upset—“
He snorts. “Sure, yeah. Upset.”
“This wasn’t her fault,” Vanessa replies. “You know that. Jake is an ass. Chrissy is devastated.”
Eddie scrubs his hands over his face. “I think I deserve to take a minute, okay?”
Vanessa nods, her expression softening. “Look, Chrissy — she didn’t really think Jake was into her because she’s Chrissy. She’s so low on herself half the time. Last year we were all trying to convince her you liked her back but she just couldn’t believe it.”
Eddie shakes his head. “She should have believed me, though.”
“Yeah, she should have,” Vanessa agrees. “But she’s not perfect. One of the other girls saw what happened with Jake last night and she can back it up, Chrissy just stood there in shock and then shoved him away.”
Eddie bites his lip. “Yeah but how long did she just stand there? How long did she let him hang off of her before he kissed her?”
Vanessa throws her hands up. “I don’t know. I’m just telling you that she told you the truth. Chrissy loves you so damn much, and I think you’re an idiot if you let a guy like Jake come between you.”
“A guy like Jake was always going to come between us,” Eddie says harshly. He gestures at himself. “It’s always been a matter of time, okay? Before she realizes that I’m not the right fit.”
Vanessa tilts her head and stares at him. “You really don’t realize how much you’ve done for her.”
Eddie looks away. “She’s saved herself.”
“And she never would have been strong enough without you,” Vanessa insists. “We all knew she wasn’t eating. We all saw how she was. She almost passed out at practice more than once. But you made her so happy, and she’d light up when you came to pick her up from practice. She’d practically sprint out the door to make it to your shows on time.”
“She doesn’t need me.”
“Yes she does,” Vanessa says firmly. “But even if she didn’t, she’d still want you. You guys have something really special, okay? And I’m not — I don’t really believe in that true love bullshit, but you two are the closest I’ve ever seen. So please, Eddie, call her today.”
She spins on her heel, auburn hair flying out behind her as she pushes past Steve and leaves their house.
“She’s — something,” Steve says in the silent wake she’s left.
Eddie grunts, fisting his hands in his hair.
“Thanks for taking care of me last night.”
Steve claps him on the shoulder. “All good, dude. For what it’s worth, I agree with Vanessa. I think you should see Chrissy today.”
Eddie drops into one of the mismatched kitchen chairs and leans back. “Yeah. I will.”
***
After eating half his weight in McMuffins with Steve and taking a long shower, Eddie shows up at Chrissy’s looking like a semi-functional human being. He has a key but it feels weird to let himself in under the circumstances, so he knocks. The door swings open and Robin stands there, looking incredibly relieved to see him.
“Thank god,” she breathes, fisting the front of his shirt and yanking him into the pink house.
“Hey to you too.”
“I swear you better not be here to break up with her,” Robin says with a glare. “Vanessa came and got me last night.”
Right, Robin had been on the trip too, with the band.
“I’m not here to break up with Chrissy,” Eddie says quietly. He sucks in a breath. “Honestly I don’t — I don’t even know if I’m ready to be here but Vanessa showed up this morning and told me things were bad, so…”
Robin pulls him into a hug, softer and sweeter than she normally is. “I’m sorry, bud. This whole situation is super fucked up. You’re a good guy for wanting to take care of her even though it hurts right now.”
He hugs Robin back, nodding against her hair, and lets her go. “Chrissy in her room?”
“Yeah, she hasn’t come out since we got back.”
With a deep breath, Eddie heads down the hall to the very end, staring at Chrissy’s now-familiar door. He can hear low music coming through the wood, and he thinks it might be one of his Black Sabbath tapes.
He likes to sing Sabbra Cadabra to her when they’re cuddled up and half asleep, his voice low and raspy. He knows Chrissy loves when he does. That’s the song playing now when he opens the door slowly and steps inside.
Chrissy is sitting up against the headboard of her thrifted queen sized bed. Her knees are curled up to her chest, her face buried in them.
“Go away,” she mumbles miserably. “Rob, I told you I want to be alone.”
“It’s uh, it’s me,” Eddie says, shutting the door softly and leaning against it.
Her face flies up so fast he hears her neck crack. “Eddie!”
He tries to offer her a smile but it falls flat. She’s wearing one of his shirts, as usual, and his ratty sweatpants she stole last October.
“Hey.”
He’s never seen Chrissy look this — bad. Even that night he picked her up at her parents house, she looked better than she does now. Her eyes are swollen and bright red, her cheeks blotchy and her skin pale. Her hair looks a little greasy, hanging around her face and sticking to her damp cheeks.
Chrissy uncurls herself and stands, fiddling with her fingers.
“I didn’t think I’d see you today,” Chrissy says softly. She looks up at him cautiously, like she’s scared to meet his eyes. His heart breaks a little and he shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Vanessa came over this morning.”
Chrissy’s eyes widen. “I told her to leave you alone, I’m so sorry —“
“It’s okay,” Eddie assures her. “I guess I just wanted to check on you. She said you weren’t doing so good.”
Chrissy shakes her head, her face crumpling as fresh tears start coming down her cheeks. His fingers clench in his pockets.
“You didn’t have to do that. I know I’m not your problem anymore.”
Eddie draws back, looking at her in confusion. “Huh?”
Chrissy swipes desperately at her cheeks but the tears keep falling. “We’re broken up. I’m not your problem anymore.”
Eddie almost laughs, except it’s actually not funny at all. He steps toward her carefully, bending down to look in her glassy eyes.
“Sweetheart, what the hell are you talking about?” he asks, taking his hands out of his pockets to brush her hair off of her face. She whimpers when he touches her, shutting her eyes.
“You — you broke — up with me,” she barely manages to get out.
His brain is still a tornado of spiraling thoughts but they all shut up in the face of Chrissy’s pain.
“Oh, baby, no,” Eddie croaks, pulling her tightly to his chest. She grabs his shirt in her hands, hard, and he can feel her rapid breath as she tries to get under control. “I didn’t break up with you, pretty girl. I just needed some space, okay?”
“You didn’t?” she manages through her gasping breaths. “We’re still —“
Eddie tilts her back, wiping quickly at her face. Her eyes are so desperate, it almost breaks him in half. His own eyes burn with tears that he blinks back.
“We’re still together, sweetheart,” he says. “Jesus. No wonder why everyone was so worried.”
“I didn’t mean to cause a scene,” she apologizes.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Eddie soothes, leading her to her bed and sitting her down. He sits beside her and takes her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “If I thought you dumped me I’d be a mess too.”
Chrissy nods shakily, her breath starting to even out. “When you said you needed space, I don’t know I just — I jumped to the worst case scenario, I guess. I didn’t tell anyone we were broken up, but — but that’s what I thought.”
“Feel a little better now?”
“A lot,” she says, tightening her grip on his hand. “Please let me fix this Eddie, okay? Don’t — please don’t leave me.”
Eddie raises her hand up to his lips and kisses it, watching her eyes flutter shut. Relief floods her face.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises. His voice is gravelly, emotion choking him.
He didn’t know he could love someone this much, where their pain could cut through him like a knife. He didn’t know someone could love him like this. No matter what happened last night, the thought of losing him made Chrissy like this. He’s still raw and hurt but he’s not going to punish her for that.
Eddie toes off his Vans and scoots back on the bed toward the pile of pillows at the top. Chrissy crawls after him, sitting to face him.
“I’m not trying to be manipulative,” she says after a beat. “I don’t want you to think you have to forgive me just because I’m so torn up over this.”
Eddie shakes his head, watching her little hand reach out to rest on his leg.
“I know he kissed you,” Eddie says, voice cracking a bit yet again. “I wish — I wish you had made it clear to him after that party that he had to knock it off, but the kiss is on him. He knows about me.”
“You’re right,” Chrissy agrees eagerly. “I should have put my foot down way before he ever thought he could kiss me. And — and this morning, he said he thought I liked him too because —“
“You saw him this morning?”
Chrissy frowns, looking away. “Yeah, when we were waiting for the bus to come back.”
“So you — talked.”
“Yeah,” Chrissy admits.
“And you thought we were broken up,” Eddie says slowly, dreadfully, waiting for the next shoe to drop right on his head.
“Oh, no, it’s not what you think,” she rushes to say. “I told him to stay away from me and that he ruined my life and I never wanted to speak to him again.”
Staring at her comforter, Eddie just nods.
“I — Eddie you’re the only person I want,” Chrissy tells him. She’s as serious as he’s ever heard her, voice straining under the weight of it. “Even if you didn’t want to be with me anymore, I wouldn’t run off to be with Jake. I never wanted him and I wouldn’t want him then either. If I couldn’t have you I’d rather be alone.”
Eddie presses his fingers into his eyes, holding in the ever-present tears, and nods.
“Yeah, I uh — I feel the same way. About you.”
“Can you — will you hold me again?” Chrissy asks tentatively, like she’s scared of the answer.
Eddie drags her up to his chest, laying her body across his as he holds her close. She burrows her face against his neck and takes a shaking breath.
“I love you more than anything,” Chrissy vows right under his ear. “I promise I will never let anything like this happen again, I swear.”
He tightens his arms around her and kisses the top of her head. She practically whimpers again, so he loosens his hold so he can tilt her chin up, kissing her lips softly. He wants to erase that Jake ever did the same.
She breathes in sharply through her nose, kissing him back hard and firm and a little desperate.
“I love you too,” Eddie murmurs against her mouth when he pulls away. “I adore you, Chrissy.”
She smiles, lips quivering. “I adore you.”
Eddie reaches down to pull her covers around them both. He’s exhausted, mentally and emotionally and physically.
“Don’t sleep in your jeans,” Chrissy tells him, so he wriggles out of them and manages to get the smallest watery laugh out of Chrissy while he struggles to get the tight denim off without standing.
Finally, he tosses them away and settles into her baby blue sheets. She pulls the duvet up and they lay beside each other, wrapped up like a knot.
“We’re really okay?” Chrissy asks. His hand runs up and down her spine, her nails scratching softly at his forearm around her middle just the way he likes. It makes him shiver.
“Yeah, we’re okay, sweetheart. I’m still — kinda in my head, but we’re gonna be okay.”
“I hate that I hurt you, Eddie. I never wanted to hurt you, but I had to tell you right then.”
“Thanks for doing that,” he says, and he means it. It hurt like hell, sure, but she’d come straight to him. She hadn’t lied or tried to hide it, which she absolutely could have. She told him the truth, even knowing what it could cost her. “It means a lot that you were honest.”
“I’ll never lie to you,” she says fiercely. “What we have is so important to me. I promise I’ll do a better job protecting it.”
He kisses her again, soft and slow. “Me too.”
Some of the tension in his neck finally loosens. He can see that Chrissy is relaxing too, her cheeks finally drying and her breathing evening out. Chrissy ghosts an impossibly soft kiss on his throat, breathing him in. She’s holding onto him for dear life, so he nudges her legs and threads his between them, intertwining them even further.
“Chrissy?”
“Hmm?”
“It’s you and me versus the world, okay?”
He feels her nod.
“Yeah. It is. You and me versus everyone, baby.”
“Always will be,” he says. “I won’t run away next time.”
“And I won’t assume you’ve broken up with me if you need some space,” Chrissy says with a short huff of laughter. Eddie snorts, kisses her forehead, and shuts his eyes.
It doesn’t take long for both of them to give in to their exhaustion. Two hours later, Robin slowly opens the door to check on them and grins when she sees them tangled together under the covers, fast asleep. She tip toes away and flashes a big thumbs up at the rest of her roommates.
“They’re gonna be just fine.”