Chapter Text
When was it that Childe stopped meeting up with Zhongli out of obligation and instead started hanging out with him out of sheer curiosity? When was it that he stopped seeing Zhongli as a means to accomplish his goals and instead a person to call his friend? When was it that he started to see signs of Zhongli using him simply as a convenient wallet, but chose to disregard it out of his trust for the mysterious consultant?
When did it start? When did it happen? When did it begin?
Was it when he first found the consultant fascinating due to his lack of awareness for money? Was it when he first saw the handsome man smile, and realised that his luscious hair glowed a lovely amber under the sunset? Or was it when Zhongli praised him for his efforts, telling him that he’d done a good job climbing the ranks and establishing his place in the Fatui, a feat that he believes to be fairly impressive?
Which was it?
And when did Childe started trusting him enough to feel this betrayed, this sorrowful, this heartbroken?
“Hey, what about me? Doesn't anyone feel the least bit of remorse for deceiving me? You've practically kept me in the dark!” Childe says, eyes focused on the back Zhongli, no, Morax, has facing him, making his tone out to be playful to hide the shock he feels inside.
But the man revealed to be the Geo Archon he’d been looking for all this time barely reacts, not even turning around to spare him a glance. His silhouette is one Childe is most familiar with, and he finds his eyes following the many geometric patterns on the back of the archon’s coat, all the way down to the shiny Geo vision hanging down his back.
That, too, is fake.
Just how much of what the man had shown him real, and how much of it was fake?
Childe recalls reading that the Geo Archon takes on many forms. There isn’t a particular one he favours; he simply takes on the appearance most suited for his purposes. In that case, can Childe presume that he finds Zhongli attractive simply because Morax had attempted to cater to him? Can he assume that “Zhongli” was created because it was a form most ideal to toy with him?
Is he allowed to feel just a tiny bit honoured?
Even as Childe engages in friendly banter with the annoyed traveling duo, which he’s sure the two of them see as anything but pleasant, his eyes never leave Zhongli’s figure, his heart still waiting for him to turn back, to face him, to look his way.
Come to think of it, Childe vaguely remembers a common feature all of the Geo Archon’s forms share— his eyes. The same shade of amber, the same shade of molten gold, the same shade of Cor Lapis, all throughout the history of Liyue.
But for some reasons, Childe can’t seem to recall when they’d ever looked straight at him. And it remains the same right now, where the man refuses to look his way and meet his eyes.
It is as if the room consisted of only Zhongli, Signora, the Traveler and Paimon. As if the youngster named Childe isn’t boring a hole into his back with his gaze.
Ah, I don’t want to be in this room any longer. Not here, trying to liven up the mood with forced banter. Not here, listening to how Signora and the Geo Archon himself colluded to trick him into practically attempting to sink the entire Liyue Harbour as a test for the archon’s people. Not here, looking at the back of the man who never had and never will look his way.
He wants out. Out of this place and out of this land. To get as far away as possible from the choking atmosphere of his workplace in Liyue.
“Ugh, fine... I'll meet you there later. I'm not sharing a boat with the likes of you.” He says as he turns to leave, hopeful eyes sneaking a glance at the consultant just before he walks out the exit, and much to his expectations—
— Zhongli doesn’t turn back.
It takes seconds for tears to well up once Childe walks out of Northland Bank, but Childe blinks the tears away, determined not to break into tears in the middle of the streets of Liyue Harbor. The streets are silent in the dead of the night, and though no one would be there to see the mighty Eleventh Fatui Harbinger fall apart, Childe still refuses to let his tears fall.
He won’t admit that he feels betrayed not because a fellow harbinger he’d known for years tricked him, but because a man he’d barely just met a few months back turned out to be using him the entire time. He won’t accept that his tears now are for a man, a god, and an archon who played him like a fiddle.
He won’t cry. Not for something as ridiculous as this.
As a native of Snezhnaya and the Tsaritsa’s vanguard, he is not allowed to cry.
***
Days pass, and Childe finds himself still stuck in Liyue, unable to leave the place he is stationed in, although he’d made multiple requests to be transferred elsewhere, to anywhere but Liyue. And as he walks past the hustling and bustling city, he hears whispers. Words of malice. Words of suspicion. Words of doubt.
“Isn’t that the Eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers? I hear he was the one who summoned the ancient god that almost sank our city!”
Even though their god was the one who planned for it to happen.
“Why is he still here? Why hasn’t Lady Ningguang chased him out of our land?”
Even though their god was the reason why he’d come here in the first place.
“He used to come by my stall to buy kid’s toys. I can’t believe he’d do something like that!”
Even though he was merely his pawn the entire time.
Although he’d expected this to happen, that he would be forever labelled as a villain in the history of Liyue, he can’t find it in himself to accept it, especially not after being fooled by both his co-worker and also the person he’d come to think of as a friend, and perhaps even more than that.
Their archon was the one who subjected them to possible demise and obliteration, not him. Childe was merely a tool to make it happen, and also the scapegoat to take all the blame. And Childe thought he’d accepted that, but every time he recalls Zhongli’s smile, a mixture of complicated emotions fills his heart, suffocating him.
And as Childe stares at the view of the sea from the port, the surface of the water reflecting the warm shades of sunset, he sees a familiar silhouette in the corner of his vision. And before he’d noticed it, he’d broken into a sprint, legs bringing him straight to the man who had betrayed his trust.
“Xiansheng!” his cry stops the man in his tracks, and eyes of Cor Lapis meets the Snezhnayan, his long brown hair flowing in the wind. Childe’s heart tightens, and he comes to realise just how much he had been missing the Liyuen, even though it wasn’t that long ago that he discovered he was nothing but a pawn to him.
“Long time no see, Childe.” Zhongli says, his tone as calm as ever, as if seeing the person he’d deceived and tossed aside means nothing to him. As if Childe means nothing to him.
Childe scoffs, “Is that all you have to say to me? No explanations, no excuses, nothing?”
Zhongli furrows his brows, seemingly in confusion, “What do you mean, Childe? Everything was merely a contract. Nothing more, nothing less.”
A sharp pang of disappointment strikes the warrior’s heart, “A contract needs to be mutual. You colluded with Signora to hide everything from me and turned me into an enemy of your nation. Don’t you think you owe me something?” his tone is almost hopeful, desperate even.
An apology.
An apology is all he wants. He wants proof. Proof that he meant more than some convenient tool to the consultant. Proof that remorse, or at least hesitation, was involved when Zhongli made his decision to backstab him. Proof that the feelings he harboured for Zhongli weren’t in vain.
But Zhongli shows that they were.
“In that case, how would you like me to compensate you, Childe?” The retired archon says, his words almost cold, as if Childe were merely a business partner of his, one that he can easily dismiss and brush aside.
Rage overcomes Childe, and he reaches out to grab Zhongli’s collar, the fabric crumpling under his tight grasp. He looks straight into Zhongli’s eyes, baring his teeth at the consultant. Amber eyes stare down at him, the consultant’s gaze cold and emotionless, not a single ounce of fear in them. Childe opens his mouth to scream, to yell at the Geo Archon, to vent all of his sorrows at its cause, but his jaw remains agape, with not a single word escaping his throat.
He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to.
So he clenches his jaw, eyes still blindly searching for any trace of affection in molten gold.
He finds nothing. Nothing but cold, cold emptiness.
A bottomless pit of blackness reminiscent of the abyss.
Childe grits his teeth, steeling his resolve and steadying his voice as he speaks, “Sleep with me.” He sees momentary shock flash across the archon’s eyes, and he would be lying if he says he isn’t even the slightest bit pleased to see that, “Money means nothing to both of us, so I’ll have you compensate me with your body.”
Childe releases his grip on Zhongli’s collar, turning around to face away from the Liyuen, eyes staring off into the skyline, the sky mostly dark as the end of the sunset draws near. Stars slowly begin to blink into existence, adorning the night sky with tiny white dots.
“There’s an inn in the red-light district, perfect for this rendezvous of ours, don’t you think? Oh, and I know you won’t have your wallet on you, so rest assured, I’ll pay for the room. Accompany me for a night, and we’ll have nothing to do with each other after.” Childe looks over his shoulder back at the consultant, and with the dimming sky as his backdrop, he asks, his words laced with sarcasm, “Are the terms satisfactory enough? Sir Rex Lapis, the God of Contracts?”
A few seconds of silence pass before Childe gets his reply, “Very well. This contract is sealed.”
The pair doesn’t say a word to each other on their way there. No pleasant banter. No casual exchanges. Just silence with the soft sound of waves crashing into the pillars of the docks. The streets gradually empty out as night stretches on. And as they enter the red-light district, the streets change into one that is crowded, the noises of the ocean drowned out by frivolous music and invitations.
Lanterns adorn the street, hanging over buildings with bright signs promising nights of debauchery and entertainment, the bright red almost dizzying. His feet halt at the doorsteps of an inn with an equally bright sign, prices of its rooms listed out front. It was one Childe had overheard from his subordinates, the only inn in the entire district to allow the entry of two members of the same sex with no questions asked. He kept the piece of information in mind ever since, as if he would one day use it. To blackmail some big shots, perhaps.
He never expected himself to use it in this way.
True to what he’d heard from his subordinate, the receptionist barely bats an eye at them, and the procedure was settled fairly quickly. As Childe holds the key to the room in his hands, he knows that there’s no turning back, and as the two approach the room, numerous scenes of their prior interactions flash past Childe’s mind. From the moment they’d met, to the moments they began to go on frequent hangouts, to the moment he began to enjoy the mysterious consultant’s company.
And then the moment where everything fell apart, the façade shattered to reveal the cold, harsh reality.
The door opens, and as expected, in the centre of the room is a bed, a bed that countless others had indulged themselves in.
Childe swallows, a mixture of fear and anxiety filling his stomach, enough to make him sick. But he won’t stop here, he can’t stop here. He needs to forget about Zhongli, forget about that needlessly endearing smile of his, and his kinds words that sounded more than simple flattery.
They sounded more genuine than anything Childe had ever heard, and for once Childe actually believed in someone else’s words and compliments.
He should’ve known better. He thought he knew better.
No one would treat him with genuine affection.
He lost his right to that the moment he was tainted by the abyss.
With a swift and forceful motion, Childe grabs Zhongli by his tie and tosses him onto the bed, drawing a groan of discomfort out of the latter. Without sparing a single second, the Snezhnayan climbs on top of him, straddling the man and holding him down with his weight. Zhongli seems to have something to say, but Childe shushes him, “Shhhh... I’ll take care of everything. Just stay put, Xiansheng.” he hopes his tone sounds as playful as usual, for the painful lump in his throat was making it much harder for him to maintain his cheerful façade.
It’s okay. He just needs to act. Just like he does in theatre. Just like he did when coming up with an excuse he’s not sure even he himself believed in for the whole Osial incident.
Everything will be okay.
Zhongli won’t find out.
Childe unbuckled the retired archon’s belt almost skilfully, as if he’d practice it hundreds of times over. Pulling down the consultant’s pants reveals his cock, still soft and limp, its size impressive even when not at full mast.
Childe laughs, almost maniacally.
Of course he won’t be hard.
In that case, he just needs to make him hard.
With his mind made up, Childe grabs his dick, stroking it slowly as he watches Zhongli’s face closely for any reactions at all. But all he sees are a pair of amber staring down at him, the archon’s gaze seemingly one of... concern?
Surprised, Childe looks away, refusing to believe that Zhongli, would be concerned for him, of all things. Seeing that Zhongli doesn’t seem to be getting any harder, Childe uses his saliva as a lubricant, allow it to dribble over Zhongli’s cock, slicking up his movements. He picks up his pace, gripping the consultant with slightly more force while paying extra attention to the underside of his shaft as well as the slit on top, two of which are his own favourites, both spots he focuses on in his private masturbation sessions.
Much to his pleasure, Zhongli appears to enjoy it, his cock hardening and growing the more Childe strokes it. And so Childe continues his onslaughts, rubbing the glans on top in between his strokes, watching as Zhongli’s expression contorts into one of pleasure and seemingly impatience. Beads of translucent liquid leak from the tip, and Childe wraps his lips tightly around the head of the archon’s cock, sucking and gulping down the bitter fluid.
Zhongli groans at his sudden action, his deep voice sending shivers down Childe’s back, and the Snezhnayan begins to shift himself uncomfortably, feeling his own cock straining against the fabric of his pants. He bops his head up and down the huge erection, feeling his gag reflex activate every time he tries to take Zhongli in deeper. But Zhongli’s moans make him inexplicably excited, and Childe finds himself trying harder to please the man, even if it meant a sore throat for him the next day.
So he pushes Zhongli’s cock as far in as possible, not stopping even as his airway is cut off, pain blurring his vision as his throat constricts around Zhongli, Zhongli’s cock pulsing in his throat. He holds himself in place until warm hands grab his head to push him away, “That’s enough, Childe.” his tone is gentle, and Childe knows that his words meant concern, not rejection.
So Childe complies and falls backwards, coughing violently and wheezing as he catches his breath, smacking Zhongli’s hands away as if telling him don’t bother. He unzips his own pants and tosses them aside before straddling the consultant once again, lining the archon’s now lively erection up to his ass, his movements oddly clumsy despite his initially fierce claims.
When Childe was in training, he had learnt that it was important to have a sexual outlet, and it was a custom to look the other way when your roommate decides to bring a lady back, or when you hear suspicious noises in the toilets. While he preferred to relief himself in some toilet stall alone, some of his fellow recruits would prefer visiting the lady’s lodgings for mutual satisfaction, while some were slightly different, preferring the company of the same sex instead, to which their staple location were the toilets.
Childe had walked into such people on many occasions due to the clashing venues, but rather than finding it strange, he found it surprising, as in he didn’t think it was possible for two of the same gender to do it as well.
But if there’s one thing he learnt from those times, it’s that it’s very possible for two men to do it, and that they use the backdoor for it.
Even though Childe isn’t sure Zhongli would fit, he knows that it is possible. After all, there’s that Sumerian discovery that a man can fit an entire Bake-Danuki up his ass.
So Childe carefully lines Zhongli up against his hole before slowly sinking himself down on it, but the first thing he feels is pain, sharp, intense pain shooting all over his body. The harbinger winces, and yet he forces himself down in a stubborn attempt to make Zhongli’s cock enter him, despite his body screaming at him not to.
But he can’t stop here. He must take Zhongli into his body, no matter what it takes.
It doesn’t have to feel good. It doesn’t have to be enjoyable. In fact, it’s better if it’s painful, as excruciatingly so as possible.
And he will make sure that it ends up that way.
“ Nghh... ” Childe bites his lips as he endures the pain, lowering himself more and more, cold sweat starting to trail down his neck as his entrance is forcefully pried open with barely any lubrication and preparation. His lips tear from the force of his sharp teeth, red oozing out from broken seams. His own cock has grown limp from the pain, but still he attempts to push Zhongli in with zero regards for himself.
“Childe—”
“Shut up.” his harsh words silence the archon, and Childe receives no further interruptions.
His hole is stretched out to its brim, the rim red and swollen after swallowing up the tip of Zhongli’s length. Childe leans forward, his face dangerously close to the consultant’s, close enough to feel hot breath fanning his cheek. Usually, such close proximity would make the Snezhnayan warrior flustered, but all his focus is on the pain spreading in his lower half, his eyes peeking down on where he and the archon connect, completely unaware that they are basically breathing in the same air.
“Fuck...” he curses as he sees that most of Zhongli has yet to enter him, and that he’d only taken in the head of his cock, at most, even though he feels that he’s already stretched to the limit. Sweat falls from his ginger locks down onto the consultant’s face, and Childe finds himself scared to look straight at Zhongli, who has been watching his pathetic display all the while.
“Childe, you need to—”
“Shut up. Don’t talk to me.” Childe snaps at Zhongli before he continues to force himself down, the sharp pain ripping through his body causing his stomach to tense up and tears to well up in his eyes. Slowly, he lowers himself down until his ass is flush with the consultant’s hip, dry laughter escaping his lips as he uses his hand to feel around where the two are connected.
“See... it fits, after all...” he utters in delight, his voice a little weak. The pressure in his stomach is too much to bear, and the pain he feels is enough to set off spots in his vision. And yet he feigns unbothered, as if the pain he feels isn’t making his consciousness fade, and as if he doesn’t feel sticky red liquid oozing out between the seams of where they were connected.
But as he looks down to see Zhongli’s face, all he sees is a frown, the consultant’s expression one of clear displeasure, “Childe,” he growls, “get off.”
Fierce amber eyes glaring at him shoot fear down to his core, and Childe is reminded once again that he was dealing with a powerful god, one ruthless enough to be once known as the God of War. But that doesn’t mean he’ll cower away from Zhongli, “Oh? Why? Is the almighty God of Liyue throwing in the towel? Too old to bed a—”
“Get. Off.” Zhongli commands, his voice deeper and slightly more threatening.
A shiver is sent down his spine, but Childe still refuses to budge, sitting on the Archon’s dick while avoiding his gaze. He’s too ashamed to admit that his legs have gone weak from the pain, yet too scared of the archon’s wrath if he’d tried to bite back once more. Like a stubborn brat, he remains motionless, eyes counting the number of boards in the wooden flooring, avoiding the consultant’s gaze.
A heavy sigh resounds in the room, seemingly one of exasperation. And while Childe is contemplating whether to meet Zhongli’s eyes again, afraid that the man had finally grown tired of him, warms hands wrap around his hips, drawing a surprised shriek out of him. Zhongli lifts him up with ease, and Childe feels the retired archon’s girth slide out of him, causing him to wince from the painful sensation.
All of a sudden, their positions are flipped, and Childe feels his back against the soft mattress, his eyes staring up into Cor Lapis, watching the consultant’s hair drape over his shoulders and falling around him, blocking the ceiling lights from his view. His eyelashes are long and elegant, and his features refined and clean.
Beautiful. Zhongli is beautiful. It was something he thought during their first meeting, and even now he feels the same.
He almost feels tempted to reach out and caress the consultant’s cheek, but he knows his place.
And then Zhongli grabs his legs and hangs them over his shoulders, his head buried in between his thighs with Childe folded almost in half, all of the Snezhnayan displayed for him to see.
“Xiansheng?!” Childe struggles for the consultant to release his grasps on his legs, but to no avail, as Zhongli tightens his grip to hold him still. Childe flushes red in embarrassment, the thought of Zhongli seeing everything too much to bear.
“You’re bleeding.” Zhongli says, eyes looking closely at Childe’s hole, seeing crimson ooze out of torn skin, the rim raw and ragged.
“I-It’s none of your business.” Childe stutters, his face completely red and his heart thumping wildly. Archons, how embarrassing. Of course, he knows that he’s bleeding and of course, he knows that he’s probably torn something. But that doesn’t mean he wants Zhongli to be examining his bleeding entrance this closely, and to point out the obvious.
“Hold still, I’ll heal you.” Zhongli says, his tone as composed as ever. And then Childe feels something warm and slimy slide over his entrance, causing him to yelp in surprise.
Holy fuck. Is Zhongli actually doing what he thinks he is?
Childe begins to struggle harder, squirming like a worm in Zhongli’s grasp, kicking his feet as Zhongli’s tongue prod at his hole, causing tingling sensations of both pain and pleasure to spread all over his body. Geo shards form in the air as Zhongli uses his elemental powers to heal him, the wound slowly closing up as his saliva mixes with the blood.
“ Hnnghh... S-Stop...” Childe bites back a moan as he begs Zhongli to stop, his legs finally hanging obediently over the consultant’s shoulders, the harbinger giving up after failing to break his ankles out of the archon’s tight grasp. He covers his blushing face, eyes peeking through the gaps between his fingers to see the retired Geo archon licking his asshole.
Their eyes meet, and Childe turns away almost immediately, burying his face into the sheets.
Zhongli seemingly pays him no mind, his tongue still lapping at his entrance, using his elemental powers to heal the Snezhnayan. Once the fatui’s injury has closed up, the consultant begins to tease his hole, his tongue pushing into him gently, using just enough force to not enter the warrior, yet just enough to drive him crazy.
Childe shudders, waves of pleasure travelling up to his core. He clenches his jaw tightly to contain his moans, afraid that Zhongli will be turned off by his moans, afraid to admit that he was starting to enjoy it. He can’t let the consultant have the upper hand. He can’t enjoy this. This wasn’t supposed to be pleasant, especially not for himself.
Childe turns back to look at Zhongli, his gaze stubborn as he incites the consultant, “Xiansheng— Hnnn— Stop teasing and put yours in already...”
Unfortunately, the retired archon seems to pay him no mind, still focused on eating him out, sucking and kissing at his hole.
“Xiansheng, just—” Childe lets out a moan when the consultant finally pushes past the ring of muscles with his tongue to poke at his insides, his hands spreading the Snezhnayan’s ass apart to give himself more leeway. Before long he is tongue-fucking Childe, giving the young warrior mind-numbing pleasure.
Childe is surprised by the sudden rush of pleasure, dazed, even. He grips the sheets tightly to ground himself to reality, swallowing his moans and stopping his voice from escaping, desperate to not let the consultant hear him.
And then the consultant stops, a string of saliva connecting his lips to Childe’s hole as he backs away. The young warrior’s entrance is twitching invitingly, his cock now fully erect, precum dribbling down his shaft like sweet honey.
Zhongli leans forward, sliding his palm up the small window of exposed skin, pushing the Snezhnayan’s clothes up to reveal his porcelain skin tinted in red, his nipples hard as if begging to be touched. Childe is surprised to realise just how pleasant the consultant’s touch is, and he finds himself scared by the way his body seemingly screams in joy at the smallest contact.
“D-Don’t... touch me...” Childe protests, but Zhongli doesn’t listen, his rough and almost burning palm caressing the expanse of the Snezhnayan’s skin, his fingers tracing the ugly scars on his body gently, as if fearful that they would hurt them. “N-No...”
Fuck. Why does he feel so happy? Why does he feel so satisfied from the retired archon’s touch? He betrayed him, for archon’s sake! He used him, tricked him and tossed him away without a moment’s hesitation, and here he is, happy. Happy that Zhongli is touching him. Happy that the consultant isn’t intimidated by his rough and hideous scars.
Even though everything is still fake.
“Stop...” Childe softly begs, hoping that Zhongli would take it as him not enjoying it, but the shivers of his skin when Zhongli runs his finger across betrays him.
He keeps reminding himself that Zhongli is doing this out of obligation. That Zhongli is merely following the contract he laid out.
But the archon’s gaze seems so gentle and loving that Childe finds himself wishing for the opposite.
Zhongli’s face inches closer to his, and Childe begins to freak out at the prospect of their faces being in kissing distance, close enough to hear the archon’s soft breathing. Amber eyes gaze deep into his cerulean ones, and Childe starts to hold his breath. As if entranced, his eyes admire the way Zhongli’s irises shine golden, its glint reminiscent of mora, his pupils a yellow diamond.
The consultant cups his cheek with one hand, and Childe almost flinches from the heat of his palm, barely managing to force himself still and to not retract from Zhongli’s touch. Zhongli rubs his bottom lip with one thumb, smudging the dried blood on his lips, causing the previously broken skin to sting. And as Zhongli’s face comes closer and closer and closer, Childe finds himself tensing up, snapping his eyes shut.
But then he feels not a peck on his lips, but instead feels a pair of lips wrap around his nipple, causing him to jolt in surprise, “Wha— Ngh! ” he bites back a moan as Zhongli begins to suck on it, all while his free hand plays with his lower half, his fingers rubbing against Childe’s entrance. As they gently nudge his entrance, his insides twitch in anticipation, as if begging to have a taste of the consultant’s fingers.
And Zhongli gives them what they want, pushing one digit into Childe’s hole down to the second knuckle while giving Childe a soft bite above, causing the fatui’s back to arch, a soft moan sounding as he fails to contain his voice. Zhongli curls his finger, hitting a particularly good spot and sending shocks of pleasure all over Childe’s body, enough to stun him into a short stupor.
“Huh...?” Childe’s mind goes blank with pleasure, and for a while he couldn’t comprehend what happened. His insides clench down hard on the foreign invader, and Zhongli knows that he has found the Snezhnayan sweet spot. And so he begins to stimulate the young warrior’s insides, rubbing his walls gently while lapping at the hard nub before his eyes, watching as it swells enticingly red from his teasing.
Childe gasps, covering his mouth with his hands to muffle his moans, no longer able to contain them by sheer willpower. Even though it hurt so much a while ago, even though he told himself he wanted it to hurt...
Zhongli wants it to be pleasant for him, and he can’t say he doesn’t appreciate the thought.
A second finger slides into him, stretching him out slightly, drawing a muffled moan out of the Snezhnayan. The consultant shifts his attention to the neglected nipple, sucking it softly before nibbling at the pink nub poking out. His fingers don’t rest, thrusting themselves in and out of Childe, filling the air with lewd and wet noises.
The noises both excite and embarrass Childe, and he finds himself tethering on the edge of an oncoming climax while dying from mortification. Archons, was he really making such shameful noises?
Seeing that Childe has slowly gotten used to the second finger, Zhongli inserts a third while his mouth is occupied with sucking the Snezhnayan’s nipples, taking turns to give each of them sufficient attention. After thrusting his fingers into Childe for a few more seconds, his hand is stopped by Childe.
“Xiansheng... Put it in...” Childe pants, sapphire eyes hazy with pleasure, wet ginger locks sticking to his sweat-filled forehead, his intoxicated expression enough to rouse dark desires. On the contrary, Zhongli’s expression is calm, as if Childe’s seductive endeavour barely affects him, which when Childe thinks about it, makes perfect sense.
After all, it’s not as if Zhongli finds him attractive. Childe is merely forcing the consultant to bed him under the guise of a contract as compensation for the Geo Archon tricking and deceiving him.
But joy still wells up in Childe’s heart when he feels Zhongli’s hard cock press up against his entrance, a wave of relief washing over him at the fact that Zhongli has yet to go soft.
And as he feels Zhongli filling him up, with much more ease and much less pain this time, complicated emotions rise from deep within. He feels Zhongli’s heat spreading throughout his body, warming him up. His entrance is stretched around the consultant’s girth in a snug fit, all while Cor Lapis eyes look at his face attentively, scanning for any sign of discomfort.
Childe turns away, hiding his face with his arms in an attempt to stop Zhongli looking at him and also to stop himself from looking at Zhongli.
The way the consultant looks at him is driving his heart crazy, and Childe is almost certain that he can feel his heart thumping, with how close they are to each other. His legs are still hanging on either side of Zhongli’s shoulders, the position enabling the Archon to reach further inside.
“Childe...” Zhongli calls out as the Snezhnayan swallows him down to the base of his cock, a slight bulge visible on the fatui’s lower abdomen. It seems almost painful, and it’s clear to Zhongli that the body of a mortal simply isn’t enough to accommodate him. But this particular mortal has gone out of his way to ask for him to bed him, even going so far as to declaring it a contract.
Though he knows that he could’ve refused, he didn’t.
He doesn’t know why he didn’t.
But since he accepted the conditions, the least he could do is make sure that Childe has a good time, “Does it hurt?” he asks, his tone gentle and caring.
Childe doesn’t answer, his arms still blocking Zhongli’s view to his face.
It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt at all. On the contrary, it feels good. Scarily good. As if every fibre of his being was screaming in joy at the retired archon being inside him.
It seems as much as he tries to deny his heart, his body doesn’t lie.
“I’ll start moving.” Childe feels Zhongli’s length sliding out of him slowly, before thrusting back into him, hitting his deepest parts. Sparks of pleasure travel up to his core as his cock dribbles uncontrollably, endless precum leaking out and spilling over his stomach. Childe clenches his jaw in an attempt to stop his voice from escaping, but his attempt is proven futile as the archon’s following thrusts cause moans to spill out of his mouth.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Why does it feel so good? It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be painful, unpleasant and awful. Why is his body enjoying it this much?
Zhongli runs his finger up Childe’s stomach, tracing the shape of Childe’s lower abs, his touch gentle and soft, as if caressing fragile glass.
Stop.
He leans down to plant kisses along his collarbone before moving down to his chest to land soft pecks all over the Snezhnayan’s blushing skin, as if worshipping each part of his body.
Stop it.
His lips then land on one of his scars, his tongue proceeding to lick it like an animal would to its wounds.
Tears well up in Childe’s eyes, regret starting to fill his heart. He shouldn’t have asked this from Zhongli. In fact, he shouldn’t have stayed in Liyue. He should’ve left his post anyways, despite having his transfer requests turned down. He should’ve gone MIA, and come up with some stupid excuse like oops I fell into the abyss again, my bad when interrogated.
Alas, decisions were made, clearly bad ones, and now Childe finds himself in the worst predicament he has ever encountered, with half a broken heart and a body that won’t act the way he wants it to.
“Does it feel good?” Zhongli’s deep voice reverberates throughout his body, and Childe finds himself rushing to answer his question.
“It— Aaahh— doesn’t feel good—” his voice is cracked as he continues, tears overflowing from his eyes and trailing down his cheeks, “It— Hyaaahhn— doesn’t feel good— Nghh— at all!”
“Childe? Are you... Let me see your face, Childe.” Zhongli reaches out to grip his arm, threatening to pull it aside.
“No!” Childe buries his face deeper into his arms like a stubborn child.
But he might have forgotten how strong Zhongli is, for the consultant easily overpowers him and pries his arms away from blocking his face.
And so Childe is now face to face with Zhongli, with nothing in between to hide the tears trailing down his cheeks.
“You’re... crying?” Confusion and worry are clear in the archon’s tone, and Childe quickly moves his hands to cover his face again, only to realise that his wrists are now pinned above his head, his strength not enough to break out of Zhongli’s grasp.
His vision is blurred by tears, so he can’t even see Zhongli’s expression. He can’t even gauge if Zhongli has finally gotten sick of him, but anyone would be put off if they see a grown man cry, and Zhongli is no exception, “N-No!” he denies, but the thought of Zhongli being put off only makes more tears surface.
A short moment of silence follows before Zhongli speaks again, “You’re quite the liar, Childe.” Zhongli rubs the tears off his face and off the edge of his eyes, his palm warm and pleasant against Childe’s cheeks. The Snezhnayan’s vision clears up to see a gentle smile on the consultant’s face, as well as ambers curved in adoration.
His expression takes Childe back to what seems like ages ago, to a day with the most wonderful of sunsets, to a moment with the most shocking of realisations, to the time when Childe's heart no longer belonged to him. The two were traversing on the path back to the harbour after a walk around the vast land of Liyue, their shadows dragged long by the sunset. He noticed how well the warm colours of the sunset complimented the consultant’s hair, the brown strands glowing a soft amber.
And Zhongli was smiling just like now as he complimented him. For a job well done and for all his efforts to make a place for himself in the Fatui. Telling him how proud he was for him and how impressive a feat it was.
And for a while Childe found himself stunned, not knowing how to respond to such a genuine compliment, and from his target, no less.
So he just smiled back.
Childe tears up once again, his lip quivering.
Ah, he still loves Zhongli, after all.
How could he not, when Zhongli was the only one other than his siblings to smile at him so kindly?
How could he not, when Zhongli was the only one who praised him for all his effort, an act that not even his parents ever did?
How could he not, when Zhongli was the only one who saw him for who he was, unlike his family members, who were still desperately searching for the leftover remnants of the boy named Ajax?
He doesn’t stand a chance. No matter how hard he looked, he couldn’t foresee a past where he wouldn’t have fallen for the strange yet attractive funeral consultant. It would require them to have never met for Childe not to fall for him.
But why...
Why did it have to be fake?
Childe starts to sob uncontrollably, the tight feeling in his chest almost crushing his heart, making it hard to breathe.
Why did Zhongil have to be a liar?
Zhongli doesn’t say a word, holding his trembling shoulders in silence, planting a soft kiss on his forehead, all while thrusting into him shallowly. His hands are no longer keeping the Snezhnayan’s wrists pinned, and so Childe hurriedly wipes his tears. His hands never stop, for his tears aren’t stopping.
“Shhhh... It’s okay, Childe. It’s okay.” Zhongli’s gentle voice is nice and comforting, and though Childe knows he means well, his kindness only brings him pain.
Because he’s learnt from experience that it’s all fake.
Even so, the Snezhnayan’s body still responds well to his thrusts, shuddering every time Zhongli hits a good spot, causing Childe to moan in between his sobs. And though he’s nothing but an emotional wreck right now, his cock is somehow still wet and erect, to which Childe begins to find absolutely mortifying.
“N-No— Aaahhhann— Don’t look—” he stops trying to rub his tears away and returns to covering his face, “Don’t look— Hic— at me— Haaahhnn— ”
“It’s okay.” Zhongli leans close to his ear, “You’re beautiful, Childe.”
Zhongli’s words cause overwhelming joy to well up in his heart, and Childe finds himself so, so happy with his compliment, even if it’s simply pillow talk.
As Zhongli picks up his pace, increasing the force of his thrusts, Childe’s moans drown out his sobbing. Tears continue to run down his face as he hears the consultant pant, his breathing growing increasingly erratic following his faster and more forceful thrusts. Childe looks at Zhongli’s face, and amidst his blurry vision he sees an almost desperate expression, the consultant’s brows slightly furrowed, the gaze in his eyes almost hungry.
It was an expression he’d never seen before. And as Childe’s body rocks with the Archon’s rough movements, pleasure blurring the line between them, Childe reaches out to hug Zhongli, pulling him closer. The two’s skins are sticky with sweat, but neither seems to mind, their bodies fitting together perfectly like two pieces of the same puzzle. Pleasure pools under Childe’s stomach, the built-up to his climax almost reaching its apex.
“Xiansheng— Ngaahhhhh— ” Childe cries out for Zhongli, arms wrapped around his neck in a tight embrace.
“ Hahh... Childe...” Zhongli’s raspy voice causes him to shudder, and the Snezhnayan feels satisfaction from making him feel good, his mind going blank from pleasure as he tethers on the edge of his orgasm.
“Xiangsheng— Haaaahh— Xiangsheng, I—”
I love you.
Please love me back.
And then Childe comes, liquid white spurting onto his own chest, his ass clamping down hard on the foreign object inside him. He feels Zhongli’s cock pulse inside him before hot liquid gushes out inside him, the warmth spreading throughout his stomach.
And Childe has never felt so fulfilled, with his insides painted white and his mind blank with pleasure. He almost whines as his ass is unplugged, the warm liquid inside leaking out of his twitching hole. His limp body spasms, his mind still coming down from the high of his climax.
As he dozes off to sleep, Childe feels warm hands cupping his cheeks and a gentle, deep voice whispering into his ear.
“This marks the end of our contract, Childe.”
***
Childe wakes up with a brown coat draped over his body, its owner nowhere to be seen. He grabs the coat and pulls it into a tight embrace, the scent of glaze lilies and wine still lingering in the fabric. His hand reach to touch his entrance. The seeds released inside him have long been cleaned out, while his porcelain skin is left unmarked, just like an empty canvas.
From now on, the two of them won’t have anything to do with each other. Zhongli won’t get another chance to hurt him, and neither will he wish for more from the retired archon.
Although Childe knows he’ll miss the consultant, and although his heart wrenches at the thought of never seeing Zhongli again, this is the right choice. He convinced himself that this was the right choice.
He had to return to being the Tsaritsa’s vanguard, the Eleventh Harbinger feared by many and the leader whom the new recruits look up to with awe, and not remain as the heartbroken fool whom the Geo Archon toyed with.
This is the right choice, the right decision, the right outcome.
So, why does he feel so much like crying?
Childe curls up into the brown coat, hanging desperately onto what remains of Zhongli in his life as he weeps the end of his first love.