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The cold sweat was the worst part.
Dedra felt … gross. Just unequivocally and irreversibly soiled. She couldn't stop shaking, the world wouldn't stop spinning, she barely had a grasp on where she was going. And yet the worst part was feeling like even a million showers and the best sterilization procedures weren't ever going to free her of the grime, dirt, and this stars forsaken cold sweat.
And then there was him. She hated him. He'd half carried her to the shuttle pad, following other wounded evacs. She couldn't argue, even if she'd rather been left to die than take his help. Because she couldn't speak. Couldn't form proper words. Stutters and gibberish fell from her lips where she was used to giving succinct orders.
A trooper at the Lambda's entrance tried to stop him. She felt a small ray of hope, but it was crushed when he insisted and used her as a prop to get onboard. The trooper didn't argue. He had saved their boss after all.
In her mind the order had been clear. He's to be left behind. This transport is for official personnel only. But what came out of her mouth had been nonsensical at best.
She lay now on a stretcher among other wounded. She wanted to rest. Wanted to be able to close her eyes and feel safe in the hands of Imperial medics on an Imperial shuttle in hyperspace heading back to the Imperial capital.
She should have felt safe.
But he never left her karking side. So she had to keep an eye open at all times. Repeated orders for him not to touch her were disobeyed. Whether they too had come out as gibberish, or if they were simply disregarded because she was delusional right now made no real difference. Every time he tried to comfort her made her shudder. His hand on her arm. His hand on her head. His hand on her hand. She would never be able to wash the disgust from her being. She wanted to scream.
She settled for vomiting on him. Twice.
But even that didn't deter him.
Dedra had never felt more trapped. More helpless.
The trip back to Coruscant was only two days. It was enough to make her wish she'd been killed back in that mob instead. Anything was better than this prison of dead and dizzy flesh being held captive by him.