Work Text:
I got a bulletproof heart / you got a hollow-point smile
so get me outta my head, ‘cause it’s gettin’ quite cramped, you know
coming ready or not, when the motor gets hot we can do it again
Ever since he… changed, Vash slept a lot. Well, that was putting it lightly. He got profoundly tired in a way that neither Livio nor Nick had ever seen in him before. Granted they hadn’t known him for all that much of his long life, but once Nick pressed him about it, he confirmed it outright: he’d never been fatigued like this before.
They called it the ‘change’ because they didn’t know how else to quantify it. His death? He hadn’t died. The loss of his powers? They weren’t gone - they weren’t something separate from who he was, they were genetic code, they were like hair or bone. Some expenditures of energy had never cost him anything, and they still didn’t. His reflexes were still faster than any human’s ever would be without chemical assistance. When he had nightmares, damp white down feathers would begin prickling out of the back of his neck while he shook, until Nick or Livio woke him up and cleaned the tears off his face.
But whatever had happened to Vash, there at the end of everything, it had been catastrophic to his health. Melanie said it seemed to her that he’d been ravaged by a terrible illness, the sort of fever that people never really recovered from. Livio wouldn’t know; he’d never been sick.
By Vash’s temple, just above his right ear, there was a pinprick of gold. A root or three tethering him to life. In the early months, without telling anyone, he’d plucked them out. He’d never seriously considered that it would harm him; the hair was just an indicator, not the source of any energy. It wasn’t that he’d wanted to die. He’d just hated to look at that spot, feeling the ache in his soul where his mirror image used to be, knowing that his brother died for those few strands of hair.
They’d grown back the same color, and he’d left them alone from then on. After all, his brother had died for them.
Ever since the change, Vash’s stamina wasn’t what it used to be. He wasn’t fall-down-on-the-spot exhausted all the time; in fact he often had bursts of energy just like his old self. But the fatigue would hit him fast and powerful, like being rolled over by a sandstorm, held down and robbed of breath. At first he pushed through it, laughed it off. Of course he did. But he fell in the kitchen twice, and by the third time Miss Melanie had put a chair in the corner for the express purpose of pushing Vash into it when he looked like he was about to go down again. He’d protested. She’d put a big sack of corn flour on top of him so he couldn’t get up.
The kids all knew that if Uncle Vash needed to sit, they made room. (He was still fun to climb on even if he was halfway asleep, after all.) And although everyone was honor-bound to do their share of chores, it had been an explicit rule of the new orphanage from day one that if someone couldn’t work, then they didn’t, no questions or whining. Everyone, Melanie declared, has days when they just can’t. It wasn’t Vash’s fault that he had them so often.
Livio enjoyed making up for Vash’s slack. He enjoyed the fields. He enjoyed tilling, planting, weeding, hauling, really all the things that were like his old training routines used to be except with outcomes measurable in meals rather than kill counts. He enjoyed being rendered exhausted by the beating suns, by labor that made his muscles burn and sweat pour down his softening torso. He was less toned now, reflexes a little slower from lack of combat training, but he was still strong, and he liked to feel it.
He tried to work early when he could, as the suns rose. Noontime to sunsdown was a stupid time to be outside, even as resilient as he was. And so a routine started to take shape: Livio, worn out and sweat-soaked from a morning’s hard work, would rinse off in the wash barrel by the back door, go in the kitchen for whatever food he could lay his hands on, head upstairs to the shared bedroom, and finish his apple or whatnot while lying beside a faintly snoring Vash. Nick mostly spent his afternoons teaching the younger kids, so he’d be downstairs, going over the alphabet and trying to curtail his cursing.
Vash’s midday nap rapidly became crucial to him. He’d fall asleep anywhere at the drop of a pin, but this was the codified nap, the one he went back to bed for, the one that might last anywhere from half an hour or until dinner. And Livio loved to watch him sleep. It sounded creepy, maybe, and he was still a bit ashamed of it even though Vash and Nick had both told him he was fine and not being weird, but… it calmed him like nothing else could. Body tired, stomach sated, lulled by the faint sounds of children living good lives, and with Vash breathing steadily beside him, Livio could almost feel like he’d never made a single mistake in his life if all of it had been leading to this.
He thought this one day, apple core set aside on the bedside table, as he watched Vash’s chest move. Vash wasn’t snoring, just whuffing faintly with each exhale. Livio turned onto his side and spooned against Vash’s back, himself on top of the covers and Vash beneath them. Each of Vash’s inhales pushed gently against Livio’s belly. He smelled so good - a little like maple from getting sticky while helping a dozen kids eat their pancake breakfast, a little like the soap from his attempt to wash all the syrup off afterwards. And a lot like himself, whatever that smell was, something warm and inexplicably sweet.
Livio found himself studying Vash’s hair up close, bringing a hand up to play with a lock of it. He knew the gold thread was there; he brushed Vash’s hairline back from his temple until he found the tiny, shining lifeline. Was it wrong, now, to find the rest of Vash’s hair beautiful? Livio supposed the black should be alarming, a signal of decay and loss, but… it was like silk, smooth and glossy, pitch dark in an almost surreal way. It didn’t have any undertone of brown or blue, it was a pure absence of color. It was so soft. Vash never styled it anymore, not beyond pulling it back in a ponytail or loose bun, and he also hadn’t cut it in months. It touched the tops of his shoulders. Livio wondered how long he’d let it get.
He pressed his face into the crown of Vash’s head and let himself enjoy the softness, the scent. It wasn’t weird, he reminded himself, because Vash had already told him it wasn’t weird - that he was allowed to touch when he wanted to. That naps were almost universally improved by cuddling. Cuddle away, Vash had said, so Livio was just trying to do as he’d been advised.
His arm had found its way around Vash’s front, hand on his stomach to feel the lull of his breaths. Because of the sloppy way the sheet was splayed over Vash’s hips, kicked partially off due to the warmth of the day, this meant that Livio’s hand was on the hem of Vash’s shirt.
Vash took a slightly deeper breath and released it, squirmed under Livio’s hold. Livio stilled, loosened his touch, afraid he’d woken Vash up. But he was still asleep, just fidgety - and he managed to pull his shirt up farther, leaving Livio’s palm against bare, pocked skin. Vash sighed long, settled again, and on his next exhale he gave a small hum.
The fidgeting had rubbed his ass against Livio’s crotch, inevitably. Between the good vibes and Livio’s warm-up workout of gardening, and appreciating Vash’s looks and scent, Livio was more primed to react than usual. He felt his cheeks warm, but he wasn’t planning on doing anything with the erection waking up against Vash’s backside. Not now. He was sure this evening would be eventful, after night had fallen and Nick was up in the room too. He could even tell them about this, and they’d laugh about it and then want to take care of him. Thoroughly. Probably in ways he hadn’t even thought of yet.
Vash squirmed again, hummed again, this time with a slightly different intonation. His hand slid up the covers and over Livio’s, awkwardly clutching at fingers and then rubbing his own belly, towards the top of his pants.
Livio laid very, very still. Heart pounding, dick hard.
Vash rolled and wiggled his hips a little bit, and pushed his hand down further. It got caught on the top of his pants, some fingers under the band, some over it. He made a disgruntled noise and sort of pushed his hips aimlessly.
Livio peered down over his shoulder. Okay, yes, Vash was doing exactly what Livio thought he was - in a shadow under the sheet, he could see Vash’s pajama pants starting to tent.
What should he -? He should leave. He should definitely leave; he’d accidentally pushed Vash’s dreams in this direction, and he should just go now and apologize later. Or - would Vash’s rest be unrestful if he spent some of his nap frustrated? So Livio should wake him up, apologize, then leave, so Vash could go back to sleep unhindered. Right? That seemed right.
Vash made another small sound. Unmistakable as a plaintive moan this time. Livio was turned on as hell by his fidgety armful of cozy, sleepy, warm gunman, but he pulled his hips away from Vash and moved his hand up from Vash’s stomach to his shoulder.
“Hey,” he said, quietly. “Vash?”
“Hmmn.”
“Vash.”
“Hnn. Mh… huh?”
“Shh,” Livio said, unable to help pressing his head against Vash’s again, shushing against his hair. “Hi. Sorry.”
Vash made a grumbly noise, then slurred, “Times’t?”
“Sorry,” Livio repeated. “You were - I bothered you and I didn’t want you to have… bad dreams.”
“Bad?” Vash wriggled again, partially turning on his back to peer up at Livio’s flushed face. Vash took stock of his own situation, and Livio’s face, and immediately he scrunched his face into a grin and breathed out a laugh. “Oh. Pff.”
“Sorry,” Livio said again. “I’ll leave.”
“Why?” Vash asked, turning back into his original position and snuggling down into the pillow again.
Livio paused. “Um.”
“You didn’t have to wake me up,” Vash mumbled. “I c’n have a wet dream, ’s fine.”
Slowly, Livio settled back down on the bed. He still kept distance between them, though. “Didn’t seem right,” he said. “If I’m, I don’t know. Interfering.”
Vash hummed noncommittally. He rubbed his hand on his stomach again, dipping low, this time coordinated enough to push below his pants. He sighed long and slow. “Feels good,” he murmured.
Livio’s dick jumped. Damn, Vash all sleepy-soft and a little out of it was so nice. Now that Vash was awake enough to know what was happening, and he was fine with it, Livio was a bit more inclined to push his luck.
He scooted forward those few inches and put his hips against Vash’s again. The first time that he’d slept with either Vash or Nick without the other present - with both of their enthusiastic encouragement, and assurances that neither were remotely jealous - had been nerve wracking, to say the least. It still wasn’t common. All of them liked being a tangled heap of limbs and kisses and pleasure and togetherness, so sex was usually a late-night thing when they were all in bed. But by now Nick had blown Livio behind the tomas shed, Vash had ridden him stupid while Nick was still busy downstairs, and along with a handful of other instances this all made Livio feel like getting handsy during Vash’s afternoon nap was more than acceptable.
Vash sighed with obvious pleasure, rolling his hips back against Livio’s through layers of pants and sheets. Vash tucked his face down into the pillow and pulled Livio’s straying hand down to push Vash’s pants low.
Then Vash said, “Pretend I’m still asleep.” And he let his hand go limp, lying near Livio’s but not guiding it.
Livio was quickly and effectively derailed. He laid perfectly still for several beats too long, trying to figure out how to process Vash’s request. If… if Vash were really asleep, then Livio would wake him up. So if Livio were to pretend - then, realistically, he’d just… do what he’d already done. But that clearly wasn’t what Vash meant. He meant he wanted Livio to pretend to touch him while Vash was asleep - faking sleep, rather - and he wanted Livio to… take advantage…?
Livio twitched his hand into motion, worried he would disappoint Vash by not knowing what to do. They were both still hard, so… so he should just touch Vash like normal, except that Vash wouldn’t be reacting. Which wasn’t exactly what Livio was hoping for, but if it was what Vash wanted to do, then it wasn’t too strange, was it? Reaching down and playing with Vash’s dick was super normal, basic stuff. So. Sure. He could do this.
He reached past Vash’s hand, into his pants, and his fingers brushed wetness. Vash’s tentacle was already partially unsheathed, only a couple of inches, but enough for Livio to fit his fingertips around and gently stroke. Vash didn’t react at all, just laid there breathing steadily, and it send a tendril of unease into Livio’s stomach. He diddled at Vash’s cock for a minute longer, but found himself rapidly losing enthusiasm.
At one solid tug, Vash gave a small sigh and wiggled his hips, parting his lips like he might actually still be asleep. He blurrily groaned, “Hn, no…”
So Livio stopped. Immediately.
In the deep recesses of his mind, as though from the bottom of a well, he recalled sleeping on a stack of folded cardboard between a noodle shop and a tailor’s. A vent from the kitchen blew warm air, and it smelled nice from the food. A good spot. A spot that Livio, still a scrap of a child in his single digits, didn’t realize was worth fighting over. He was just so tired, only meant to lie down for a little while. Didn’t want to fight.
The rest was more blurry, only stop-start flashes of blood and screaming. He knew it had started with an adult hand touching his hip, and a hushed voice saying that he could stay if he paid for it - that if he stayed asleep it would be like nothing more than a dream -
Now. He’s sitting up in the bed, blinking. His fists are tight. He loosens them. In the back of his mind, he is no longer alone. A growl is trying to rise in his throat that isn’t coming from him.
Livio gasped, sucking down the sound. No, he thought hard, no, I’m not in trouble, it’s not like that. This is just a mistake. A misunderstanding. He must have misheard Vash, somehow, somewhere.
He blinked watery blurriness out of his vision and looked to his side. Vash was already sitting up, eyes wide, expression solemn. He looked like he understood far more than Livio did. He looked so sad.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Livio shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs. “It’s fine,” he said. “I don’t know what, um. It’s nothing. Do you want -?” He gave Vash a look begging for direction.
Vash turned over so he was facing Livio and laid down on his side. He said, “Come here,” with his arm raised.
Livio laid beside him gratefully, accepting Vash’s arm over his waist and Vash’s forehead against his own. Vash deliberately kept some lower-body distance between them. Livio had the sense that they would not be returning to that particular issue for now. It was a relief, honestly; he was starting to flag already, and arousal felt miles away whenever a piqued Razlo was breathing over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Vash said again, quiet. “I shouldn’t have sprung that on you.”
“What?”
Vash sighed, closing his eyes and balling his fist against Livio’s back. “Sometimes I like things that it seems like I shouldn’t. But we need to talk it out first, because you need to be okay with it. I wasn’t thinking.”
Livio took a steadying breath. “Okay,” he said. “I still don’t really get it.” But his heart had slowed its racing, and Razlo was relaxing inside their body. He brushed his hand over Vash’s hair again, for the softness and the grounding. “Nick knows this stuff?”
Vash hummed and nodded. “For a long time. But I haven’t… needed it. In a while.”
“Needed?”
Vash furrowed his brows and ducked his head. “It’s not… let’s not talk about it now, okay?”
“Yeah.” Livio brushed his hair again, fingertips against scalp, and Vash pressed into it. “Back to sleep?” he asked.
Vash quirked his mouth up in a grin. “No,” he said. “Razlo is really effective at waking me up.”
Livio’s hand stilled. “Sorry,” he said, somewhat mortified that Raz had lurched into the forefront to stave off the phantom threat of memory.
“It’s fine,” Vash said, opening his eyes and smiling. “Razlo’s always there for you. It must be nice.”
All the rest of Livio’s tension drained away. He loved Vash for so many reasons, but for understanding this most of all. “He was rememberin’ something,” Livio said, at ease enough to admit it now. “When we were a kid, asleep, and someone… he had to, uh, tell somebody to find somewhere else to sleep, ‘cause our spot was ours.”
Vash’s expression slid from soft smile back into solemnity. “Oh,” he said. He reached up to drag his own fingers through Livio’s hair and cup the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he said, broken record, looking truly on the verge of upset now.
Livio asked, “Can I kiss you?”
Vash answered with action.
The kiss was as much comfort as apology. Neither of them deepened it, just relaxed and enjoyed the physical presence, unhurried intimacy without a goal. Vash kept gently scratching at the back of Livio’s head, fingers buried in pale hair. Livio had cut it again recently, but he’d started to think about letting it grow. There was a part of him that didn’t want to see himself looking like he had in his worst moments - but there was another, braver part of himself that was beginning to accept that he was safe from changing back into that person. That he could change his appearance without changing himself. There was no reason to let superstition keep him frozen in time.
Vash pulled back with a little sigh and studied Livio’s face with a smile. “Okay,” he said. “Time to get out of bed. Chores to do.”
“You rested enough?” Livio still felt bad about waking Vash up, circumstances notwithstanding.
“Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good today.” Vash pushed himself upright with a groan and pulled his arms back to stretch. “Might do some target practice later. You want to join?”
Livio pushed the whole sleepy-sex incident to the back of his mind, shot Vash a grin, and said, “You want an ass-whooping that bad?”
“Oh, I’ll make you eat your damn hat -“
Livio ducked away from Vash’s swatting hand, laughing.
-
I'm itchin', boss. Gotta let off some steam, get my hands around some good ol' fashioned violence.
Livio hefted the pistol in his hand. Target practice sounded good to him, too, but Razlo had been asleep and patient for a long time. So he shrugged and said, "Knock yourself out."
Letting go on purpose, making space for Razlo to move in, felt different these days than it ever had before. More friendly. They'd always been allies, but there used to be a tension between them, born from those early days when Razlo's burgeoning presence had felt like a threat. Livio's fear of his partner hadn't lasted long - he grasped very quickly that Razlo didn't mean him any harm. But going into his teen years, he'd come to resent having to share everything, having to give away huge chunks of time. Like having a sibling, right? He'd never had one of those, but he guessed it was similar. Just add blackouts.
Once their training was deeply underway and their body was changing and growing from the drugs, that resentment faded. Livio's only source of genuine human comfort for a long time had been the knowledge that he wasn't alone. That no matter how much the Eye isolated him, tried to wipe him blank, there was one person they couldn't pry away from him. Razlo revered Master Chapel even more than Livio had, but even Razlo had always held Livio tight and refused to fully let go of those earthly connections that Master C railed against. When all other tethers had rotted away, they were still tethered to each other.
The last stage of tension between them had been competition. Choosing different weapons and then relentlessly trying to one-up each other with their skill sets. Razlo won, of course - he was rabid for violence in a way Livio couldn't keep up with. Livio liked a good throwdown fight, too, but eventually he wanted to call a win a win and move on. Razlo wanted to linger like a dog with a dead rabbit, shaking and ripping until it fell apart. Livio had never taken pleasure in death the way Raz did.
But now... Livio was changing. Letting go of so much; realizing that he didn't have to kill, didn't have to cause hurt. It felt good to slow down, to let himself be calm. Happiness was wonderful but contentment was better in some ways. The ability to be at peace while alone was a new skill Livio was developing, and he enjoyed getting good at it the same way he'd always enjoyed training. It was so different from how he'd been for so many years, and Razlo didn't even want to compete about it. Razlo's source of change, as far as Livio could feel, was in learning to let go of purpose. Razlo had always had purpose. He was made of purpose. And since his original purpose - to protect Livio - and his latter one, to serve the Eye, had both been rendered obsolete, he was definitely struggling.
But along with being a glutton for violence, Razlo was also a glutton for sleep. So as long as it suited him, Livio wouldn't argue with the amount of time he spent unconscious. And he wouldn't argue with Raz's need to let loose every now and then, either.
So Livio let himself go under. It felt like a wave of exhaustion, and then like being caught at the end of a short, sharp fall by strong arms. Inside himself, he laid back and got comfortable. Outside, muffled, he heard the rack of a slide, and low laughter. He had time to feel happy that Razlo was having fun, and then he was out.
First, he feels alarm. Something warm and hard is tight in his grasp, pressed back against something solid. It's a neck. A neck, and a person shoved against a post.
Light floods his vision, shapes blurring into quick focus. A familiar grin, impish, with red smeared across it. White knuckles squeezing beneath a jawline. Livio’s stomach lurches
- And he let go of Vash's neck instantly, stumbling back by a wide step, stomach turning. There was blood on Vash's lip, and he was laughing, still smiling, but - Razlo had shoved him hard, had held his fingers to feel Vash's pulse, had thought about ripping him open and letting the life out. That was normal for Razlo, sure, but even the dot of blood on Vash's lip made Livio feel sick now. How could Raz -? What had -
"I win," Vash said, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth for a moment and leaving only the tiny evidence of a split. "Ow, crap." He licked the spot again, touching tongue to wound.
"What did - ? I'm sorry," Livio tried, still not breathing steadily. "I'm so sorry, I -"
"Heeey, hey hey," Vash said, still smiling that easy smile, and he stepped up into Livio's space to pat him on the chest, and Livio had to resist taking a reflexive step back. "Not you. Razlo got mad about the scoring, that's all."
Livio hauled in a deep breath and took stock of his surroundings. The fence at the far end of the fields. The firing range, set up far enough away to hopefully not scare the tomases into stampeding. "Firing range" was generous - it was the junkyard, really, heaps of broken rubble and gravel mixed with old glass shards, with bottles and cans propped on any old surface that would hold them. It stretched out into the distance, across streets where the buildings had burned down, all the way to where they'd painted whitewash target marks on one miraculously intact brick wall. Sniper distance, not something your average marksman could hit with anything auto or even semi-auto. But they weren't average marksmen here.
In the back of his mind, Livio could feel the dark, electric presence of anger. The made-up rules and the scores of their little impromptu sharpshooting contest surfaced in his recent memory. Vash had won on a technicality. He and Razlo had also been shit-talking the whole time.
"In his defense, I started it," Vash admitted, prodding his lip with his finger and shrugging.
Livio was still shaky, but coming down from the raw panic. "You're bleeding," was all he could say.
"I'm fine," Vash said, giving him a caring look. "Banged a tooth against the inside of my mouth."
Livio wanted to explain. But... there wasn't anything to explain, really. Vash was right. He was fine. "Your neck," Livio tried, as a last resort.
Vash rubbed it. There were no marks. Vash just flashed another grin and said, "He dropped back as soon as he touched me. He knew he'd crossed a line, I think."
Livio prodded the personality beneath his own. It shrank further from him. The last of the tension finally left Livio's body, and his stomach stopped churning. Razlo was just embarrassed and sulking about losing. Livio ducked his head and let out a disbelieving breath, half-laugh.
"Besides, I didn't mind it," Vash said, stepping closer to Livio's chest again and leaning up against him to steal a quick kiss on the corner of Livio's mouth. Livio wasn't coordinated enough to respond yet, and not sure if he even wanted to. But he could hear the impish, provocative energy in Vash's tone. He was full of it today, for sure.
The suns were low, casting long shadows through the junkyard. For the second time in one day, Livio didn't know how to process Vash's behavior. He understood it, he just didn't... feel like he could mesh with it. It felt like being pushed away. He missed the Vash who was soft and patient.
It looked like Vash sort of understood this, too. He sighed against Livio's chest, tucked his Colt into the back of his waistband, and said, "I need Nick to referee this."
"Hm?"
"We gotta have this conversation." Vash stood away from Livio and turned to head back towards the hotel.
Livio followed him at a small remove, worry seeping through his chest. He didn't want things to change between him and Vash - or among all three of them for that matter. He found himself selfishly not wanting to know what Vash had to say in the first place, so he could pretend it didn't exist. He wasn't stupid. He knew rough sex was a thing, crossed wires of violence and desire, adrenaline pushing blood to some crazy places. But - the thought of hurting Vash, even if Vash professed to want it, made Livio feel almost faint with the desperation to not do that. Of course he wanted to make Vash happy - he wanted to offer any compromise he could, fulfill any request, try any new thing - but fuck. He could still feel Vash's throat in his hand, pulse beating fast against his fingertips. It didn't turn him on; if anything it made his junk want to invert completely, never to be seen again.
Back at the hotel, Nick whistled down at them from the upper story window of their bedroom. Livio peered up, hand shading his eyes; Nick saluted with a half-smoked cigarette. "Sounded like a solid match from here," he called down.
Vash just laughed. Then he called up, “You on dish duty?”
“Not tonight.”
Vash waved his acknowledgment. They headed inside and up the stairs, Vash pulling his Colt out on the way to check it over and remove a couple of unspent rounds. He put the bullets in his pocket, pushed open the bedroom door, and set the gun aside on the dresser.
Nick blew out a cloud of smoke and asked, “Who won?”
Livio said, “Vash,” and Vash said, “I cheated because I wanted Razlo to get mad enough to hurt me.”
Livio stopped in his tracks and stared at him. Nick looked between them for a moment, then sighed and put the cigarette back to his lips.
“I thought you were giving off a shitty vibe today, Spikey,” he said, sounding long-suffering.
Vash strode across the room to the bed and sat down heavily, with a groan. “I’ve got more energy than usual. I don’t know. I’m coming out of my skin.”
Nick said, “Ah.”
Livio raised his hands and made a helpless noise, unable to articulate how little he understood what was going on.
Vash raised his knees and bent his face to them, arms wrapped loosely around his legs. “Help?” he asked, apparently of no one in particular.
Nick gave an aggrieved sigh, drew in the last of his smoke, and stubbed out the butt on the windowsill. “Okay,” he said. “Liv, come over here and sit down.”
Livio did so. Across the small table under the window, Nick was as relaxed as ever. The fact that none of this bothered him helped Livio remain grounded.
Nick tapped his fingers on his lighter for a second, thinking. Finally he said, “You’re upset. Raz hurt Vash?”
“Ye…” Livio paused, looking across at a Vash who had fallen unhelpfully silent. “… Sort of? Not really. Pushed him.”
Nick nodded. “And Vash was into it?”
Livio gave a hesitant nod.
“Yeah,” Nick said. “He is, sometimes.”
“… Sometimes.”
“Hm.” Nick stared at his lighter, then muttered “fuck it” and picked up the pack from the table to pull another smoke. He lit up, clearly buying time while he thought. After his first exhale, he said, “I think this would be easier if we just start with any questions you have.”
Livio glared at him, then looked out the window. Making this his job to put into words was irritating, but - in fairness, he realized he did have a single, pressing question he needed to ask immediately.
“Have you ever hurt Vash during sex? On purpose?”
“Yes.”
Nick said it without flinching or hesitating. Livio’s gaze snapped to him; he felt strangely betrayed. “How?” Livio demanded.
“Bruises from holding on too hard.” Nick took another drag on his smoke. “Sometimes scratches.”
Livio took a long inhale, thinking. “That’s all?” he asked, finally.
“Hm.”
“Drew blood?”
“No.”
Livio thought again, looking at the tabletop. “Vash,” he asked, “has anyone else hurt you worse than that? Because you wanted them to?”
Vash was quiet for long enough that Livio almost thought he wasn’t going to answer. But finally he raised his head and said, “Yes.”
It felt like ice as Livio slowly digested the information. He almost wanted to ask for details, but - no, no he didn’t. With some difficulty, he said, “So… you like it rough. Sometimes.”
Vash let out a heavy breath. “It’s not really… that’s not the core of it. I like to be helpless. Overpowered.”
Livio struggled to get his mind around it. The first time he’d had any extended contact with Vash had been on the Ark. When Vash was in a tiny, barred box. As thoroughly overpowered as a person could ever be, his mind and body so violated that he couldn’t even order his own lungs to breathe if Legato didn’t allow it.
“It’s different,” Vash said, as if reading Livio’s mind. His tone sounded weak, though, almost ashamed. “It’s not the same as when it’s real.”
Nick sat forward, elbows on the table, giving Livio a serious look. “I thought it was fucked up for a while, too. But I figured I was just as fucked up for enjoying it, so we must deserve each other.” He flicked the ash off his smoke. “But I figured it out, eventually. Vash gets his helplessness rewarded with something good for once. And I get… to feel trusted with something important, and I get to trust myself that I won’t break it. Does that make any sense?”
Maybe. A little. “I don’t know,” Livio said. He rubbed the corner of his eye. “I mean, yes, it makes sense. But I - it isn’t -“
“Hot?” Nick asked, looking rueful and sympathetic.
Livio let out in a rush, “I can’t hurt either of you. I - nothing’s made me less horny in my fuckin’ life. Seeing blood on either of you just about makes my balls turn inside out.”
At long last, Vash laughed. Something about the brutal honesty cracked the tense shell of the moment and even Nick looked down at the table with a grin, fiddling with his cigarette. “Understandable,” he said. “And to be clear, blood’s a line I drew a long time ago. Blood’s not an option.”
“There are rules,” Vash said, lowering his legs from knees-raised to folded in front of him. “Sort of. Stuff we’ve never done and never want to do.”
“You can have rules, too,” Nick told Livio. “You never have to do anything. You know that, right?”
Livio nodded. He knew that, really, but hearing it out loud was a relief he wasn’t expecting. “Won’t hurt you,” he said, knowing as he said it that he was drawing a line, now. Making a rule he knew he could trust Vash and Nick to follow. It was freeing.
Nick smiled at him and dragged at the end of his cigarette, pulling it down to the filter. “My big one is blood, I don’t do that,” he said. He nodded at Vash. “No actual restraints.”
Livio blinked and looked at Vash.
“Don’t want to be tied up,” Vash said, giving a lopsided, sardonic smile. “Had a little too much of that for even me to find it fun anymore.”
“But - held down?” Livio asked.
Vash nodded, cheeks pinking up. “Against things. Under weight. Twist my arms or, uh. By the neck.”
“Oh.” Livio remembered the feel of Vash’s taut neck in his hand. Wondered if Vash’s blood had rushed south in the same moment. Realized that - yeah, it definitely had, and that’s why Vash had been taunting Razlo so much in the first place. “Don’t… don’t do that to Raz again,” Livio said slowly, feeling out his… anger? It was anger, yeah. He was a little pissed at Vash for that, now that he thought about it. Razlo didn’t want any part of their physical relationship, and manipulating him for ends like that was a shitty thing to do. Livio loved Vash, but he found that it did not supersede his protectiveness for his partner. Well, then. He’d found out something new today.
Vash met Livio’s gaze for a moment and then looked down, clearly ashamed.
“It’s okay,” Livio said, and that was true, too. He knew that Vash knew he’d been kind of a dick. Livio didn’t feel like leveraging punishment for it. Vash’s bottomless well of guilt was punishment enough.
Nick said, ”This might make more sense in practice than theory.” He slowly squashed the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray he only sometimes remembered to use. Looking down at the dirty bowl of sand, he said, "Livio, if I swear on my own grave that we won't ask you to hurt either of us, would you be okay with trying something? So you can see what we're talking about? You can stop any time you want to. Just walk away."
Livio's heart thudded. He felt uneasy, but he looked between Nick and Vash and gave it serious thought. It didn't take that much, honestly. He wanted so badly to trust and believe them. And if he didn't like it - well, it still wouldn't be the worst thing he'd ever done. Nowhere close. "Yeah," he said.
"Okay." Nick looked over at Vash. "You want to now? Or wait 'til night?"
Vash leaned back on the bed on his hands and tipped his face towards the ceiling. "If I say both," he said, "am I too greedy?"
Nick laughed and got up from the table. He was wearing his comfortable around-the-house stuff, not a suit - long sleeves and loose crew collar, thin cotton pants, no shoes. He climbed onto the bed on his knees and positioned himself behind Vash, pausing when they were side-by-side to snag a kiss. Vash leaned into it eagerly, opening his mouth.
"All right," Nick told him once he pulled back. Nick flicked Vash's nose, and Vash made a face at him. "Calm down. You don't get to dictate this." He settled behind Vash and picked up his hands on either side. "Real simple stuff, just a demo. Livio?"
Livio stood up, feeling awkward. "What do you want me to do?" he asked.
"Just come over here. Kneel in front of Vash. Here." Nick tossed a pillow down and took Vash's hands again.
Livio knelt as ordered, knees cushioned by the pillow. Vash uncrossed his legs and dropped his feet to the floor. Livio hesitantly put his hands on Vash's knees and looked up - Vash was already deep pink in the cheeks, and his breathing betrayed his excitement. Nothing alarming so far.
Nick pulled Vash's arms behind him, bent at the elbow, so that Vash's shirt pulled taut across his chest. Vash made a small noise of what sounded like objection. "I'm gonna keep Spikey arm-locked up here," Nick said. "And he's gonna struggle and tell me to stop and let go, but I won't. If he says the word motorcycle, I will let go. Get it?"
Livio considered this, brow furrowed. "Motorcycle?"
Vash pouted. "Turns out donut sounds too much like ‘don’t,'" he complained.
Nick jerked his arms lightly and Vash grunted but settled back against him.
"Mostly I'm gonna talk," Nick said, looking down at Livio. "And I figure you’ll want to blow him, but really, do what you want. Keep going even if he says no. Unless he says motorcycle, then stop."
"If you say motorcycle, that also makes everything stop," Vash added. "Or if Nick says it. There's always an off switch to this whole thing. Okay?"
Livio let out an uncertain breath. It didn't sound great, but he'd try it. "Sure."
“You’re not there to hurt him,” Nick said. “You’re there to make him feel good. Whether he wants it or not.” He leaned his chin on Vash’s shoulder and turned to nose against the hair behind Vash’s ear. “You know what I’m gonna do now, don’t you, Vash?”
Vash flushed even darker. “Shit.”
Nick gave a wicked grin and kissed the side of Vash’s neck. “Tell me if you think you deserve this.”
“Deserve what, exactly?” Vash asked, sounding wary.
“Hm. Any of it. Start with whether you deserve Livio’s mouth.”
Vash let out a sharp little breath. “That’s not -“
“You used him, earlier,” Nick murmured. “You scared him.”
“He can - he doesn’t have to do this,” Vash said, already flustered. “It’s his choice.”
“Then why did you push him like you did? Unless you think this is what you deserve? That he owes you sex even when you’re being a dick?”
“I -“ Vash choked on whatever he was about to say next. He rolled his head to the side, looking away from Nick. “You always make this too personal,” he said, low.
“‘Cause personal’s what you need, Vash.” Nick tightened his arms again, pulling Vash’s shirt even tighter. It looked uncomfortable; Vash was wincing.
At first, Livio was completely adrift. He couldn’t fathom why this conversation was something sexual - Vash grimacing and clamming up, Nick pushing him in a way he clearly didn’t like, that felt almost mean. Then he thought, this all stops with one word from any of us. There’s a brake here, everyone’s aware of it and no one is pulling it. So… he made himself relax, told himself to stop worrying so much. He could wait and see where this went.
Except that Vash’s shirt looked like the buttons might pop off, and his leg was starting to bounce with agitation under Livio’s grip. Livio rose up and went for his shirt buttons, figuring he might as well let Vash out of some restriction.
“How do we make Livio get this?” Nick asked Vash, casual and rhetorical. “This is new for me, too, you know. Having help. Usually I’d be holding you against a hotel door, pissed off as all fuck at you and asking if you think you deserve a bullet in the gut.”
Livio paused, fingers still on a button. Vash was looking into the middle distance, lips tight.
“Because why else do you taunt the people who’d happily plant one there?” Nick turned his gaze down to look at Livio, who stared back, captivated. “You don’t get to have what you think you deserve. Because your judgement is shit, isn’t it? Right now you only get what I think you deserve. And Livio.” Nick turned his face again and licked the shell of Vash’s ear. “So. Do you think you deserve Liv’s mouth after what you pulled today?”
Vash gave a small, strangled whimper. “No,” he said.
“Do I care what you think?”
“Nick -“
“No, I do not.” Nick flicked his gaze back down to Livio.
Who realized, with the suddenness of a light switching on, that he did get it. His hands tightened over Vash’s knees, stilling them, and Vash leaned his head back and winced. Vash strained uselessly against Nick’s hold, but he was trying to escape from the goodness and devotion that he had seeded into the world by being worth loving - which he was. Despite his mistakes, regardless of whether he occasionally acted like an ass. A flicker of aggression stirred in Livio’s gut, and arousal alongside it. He looked back at Nick and felt like they were finally on the same wavelength: they’d make Vash reap what he’d sowed, God dammit.
“That’s it,” Nick murmured. Vash’s shirt was open now, and his pants were looking mighty tight. The kind thing would be to give him some relief there, too. Livio squeezed his thighs and moved his hands up to Vash’s belt.
Vash made a noise of objection and squirmed his hips. “Liv, you don’t have to do that,” he said, desperate.
Livio said, “Stop wiggling.”
And Vash did, immediately, though he was still starting to tremble. The obedience hit Livio low in the gut and he looked up at Vash’s face. Vash had closed his eyes like he was determined not to enjoy anything that was happening to him.
Oh, fuck that. Livio unzipped and tugged his jeans a bit harder than he’d meant to, and Nick helped him by lifting Vash up by the arms so Livio could get his pants down to his thighs. Vash made a sudden, alarmed noise, one leg moving like he was considering kicking an attacker. Livio grabbed it by the shin and held him still.
“Don’t,” Vash said, eyes flying wide, looking down at Livio. For half a heartbeat, Livio was swayed. This was weird, this was uncomfortable; he loosened his grip on Vash’s leg. Then Vash said, “Don’t, I’m not worth this. I can just be normal, it’s not a problem.”
And Nick, putting words to what Livio instinctively felt but didn’t know how to say, replied, “We don’t want you normal, Vash. We want you.”
Vash’s face went darker than ever, and if Livio wasn’t mistaken, there were the beginnings of tears in his eyes.
At last, Livio was all in. He got it. Vash let himself indulge in self-loathing just so Nick could rip it to shreds. It was rough, but not in the way Livio had feared.
Echoing their first night together, Livio tugged Vash’s underwear down and said, “I want to suck your dick. So - you just have to put up with it.”
The flicker of a smile broke Vash’s mask of resistance. Livio didn’t have the way with words that Nick had, but he’d figured he ought to signal that he was playing along now. In front of him, the evidence spoke for itself: Vash was hot as hell for this pseudo-bullying, his tentacle-like cock fully extended and hard as stone near the base, his slit already seeping slick. As soon as Livio pressed his fingers around the base of Vash’s dick, Vash jerked all over.
“Sounds like you pissed him off,” Nick murmured in Vash’s ear.
Vash whimpered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -“
“Bullshit,” Nick pressed, tugging on Vash’s arms again to make him bend back in an uncomfortable way. “You’re not sorry.”
Livio wiped up some of Vash’s slick before it could drip, licked it off his fingers, and then settled forward with his head buried between Vash’s legs, licking and kissing the outside of his cock. It twitched and curled in little spasms. It seemed to Livio like he was already close - which tracked with Vash having been low-level horny all day, actually. He must’ve been on edge since Livio interrupted his nap hours ago.
Beneath him, Vash started shivering, lifting his knees to squeeze uselessly at Livio’s shoulders. “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to - I was wrong, don’t do this -“
Livio thought he would be bothered by Vash pleading with him to stop. Instead, he felt spurred on, arousal tight in his belly, his blood spiking with the desire to make Vash break down. He licked the copious precome off Vash’s dick, swallowed, and then drew the whole tentacle into his mouth.
Vash burst out in a loud cry, which he quickly choked back. Livio heard Nick telling him, “Fight it all you want, you’re not getting out of this.” And Vash mumbling increasingly urgent pleas, hips struggling against Livio’s grasp, until with another short, sharp wail, Vash threw his head back on Nick’s shoulder -
Livio had never swallowed so much come. It was like a faucet. Vash came a lot anyway - his come was thinner and less viscous, smooth and sweet, and when his cock was in Livio’s mouth he could closely feel how the texture squeezed into itself in little waves of contractions, getting all that pent-up fluid out. Livio knew better now than to suck him hard at this point; he just swallowed and kept waiting for more, and it seemed like there was always a little more.
Above him, Vash was whimpering, “Stop, stop, please ahh fuck, sto-op him - Nick -“ His legs were shaking steadily in Livio’s grasp.
Livio pulled away for a moment, swallowing hard and getting a quick breath of air. He looked up at Vash and Nick, mostly expecting this to be the end of it. Vash’s face was streaked with tears. Livio opened his mouth to say something.
Nick met his gaze and said, “Keep going.”
Livio stared at him for a moment, then flicked his gaze back to Vash, whose chest was heaving with rough breaths. “No,” Vash said, sounding broken.
But - it wasn’t ‘motorcycle’. And under Livio’s hands, Vash’s hips flexed towards him, seeking.
“Sorry,” Livio said, patting Vash’s knee. “You heard the man.”
Vash groaned and shut his eyes, and when Livio pulled his tentacle back into his mouth, he outright sobbed.
“This is what we say you deserve,” Nick told him. “To be loved relentlessly. Especially when you tell us not to.”
“I don’t, deserve -” Vash gasped. He’d never gone soft; he was already dripping again.
“And I don’t listen to bullshit,” Nick snapped back. “Blow a hole in the moon, you think I’d ever stop loving you? Fuck the moon.”
“‘M - a - monster,” Vash grated out.
“I’ll gag you if you keep talking like that,” Nick told him bluntly.
Vash whined like he liked that idea a little too much. Livio decided to add emphasis by bringing fingers into the equation. He pushed two inside Vash without warning, and Vash thrashed hard and wailed.
“Shh,” Nick said. “You know how to make it stop. Give in.”
“Hnngk - no -“
“Stop struggling, you’re gonna make me come in my pants.”
Amidst his objections, Vash barked an abrupt laugh. “You should,” he said. “Bastard.”
“Eat my ass, Spikey.”
“I would if you’d let me go -“
Nick snorted. “Not until you give Livio what he wants.”
“It’s too much!”
Livio lifted off for air and gave Vash a disbelieving look. “Bull, you’re almost there already.”
“Sensitive,” Vash whined.
Nick told him, “I’m gonna fuck you after you come again, so don’t you even act like you’re close to done.”
Vash rolled his head back and whimpered.
Livio wasn’t wrong. Vash came again only a handful of minutes later, with Nick murmuring praise in his ear and Vash breathing raggedly up until his crescendo, when he gave a rough cry and wrapped his thighs so hard around Livio’s head that it was almost like he was attempting a choke-out. Livio drank him down again, less release this time but still more than a human should realistically produce. Vash’s hole was dripping now, making a damp spot on the sheets despite Livio’s best efforts.
Livio pulled back again, freeing his fingers and sucking them clean while he looked up at Vash and Nick. Vash looked as fucked up as Livio had ever seen him - strained and rumpled clothes still half-on, hair ruined against Nick’s scruff and shoulder, chest and stomach jumping and twitching with small spasms. His face was distant, tear-stained, lips puffy from biting… but relaxed. Free. Cathartic.
Vash sniffed hard and let out a long breath.
“Are we… is this - over?” Livio asked hesitantly.
Nick pressed his face into Vash’s neck. “I dunno. Vash, is this over?”
Vash made a soft noise in his throat. Then he cleared it and hoarsely said, “I thought you said you’d fuck me. Liar.”
Nick snorted softly and raised his face. “Okay. C’mon, not like this.”
Nick let go of Vash’s arms and coordinated the rearrangement. He ushered Livio off the floor and everyone out of their clothes, directed Livio onto the bed first, then Vash on his back on top of Livio’s chest. Vash was heavy for his size, but nowhere near heavy enough for it to bother Livio. The position put Livio’s cock against Vash’s ass, rubbing into the cleft, and Livio couldn’t help pressing up for more contact.
Nick stripped quickly and climbed over Vash, knees staggered with Livio’s. He ran his hand down Vash’s flank before dipping between his legs and sliding fingers into his hole. Vash shivered on top of Livio, his head cushioned on Livio’s collar, black hair cascading over his shoulder.
“Here,” Nick said, “lift up - yeah.” Vash lifted his hips enough for Nick to reach under him and smear Livio’s cock with the slick he’d just gathered from inside Vash. Livio groaned and clutched at Vash’s hips.
Nick settled in again, leaned over Vash and kissed him deep. Livio could tell by Vash’s breathing the moment when Nick pushed inside him. After a few long, deliberate thrusts, Nick let go of Vash and leaned up to kiss Livio instead.
Livio wasn’t entirely sure if this was still inside the game from earlier, or if they’d exited it at some point. This certainly felt more normal, although Vash’s forearms showed the faintest hint of bruises forming, and all the things that had been said still rang loudly inside Livio’s mind. And fucking Vash right now was something Nick had said almost as a threat, firmly within the confines of the game. So maybe this was still part of it. Vash, finally not putting up any resistance; Nick and Livio, taking what they’d demanded from him to fulfill the terms of some kind of bargain. A bargain of Vash’s trust in exchange for Nick and Livio’s esteem.
Nick sat up a bit, angled differently, and thrust faster. “Fuck, Spikey,” he said, breathless.
Vash ran one hand up Nick’s chest and bent the other around behind his head to clutch at Livio’s shoulder. “Yeah,” he said. “Feels so good.”
“Close,” Nick bit out.
Vash nodded quickly, permission granted. It didn’t take long before Nick stilled and let out a low gasp, hips moving in short jerks.
Livio’s eyes watered with how close he also felt, but the bump and grind of Vash’s ass rubbing against his length hadn’t quite finished the job. His arousal spiked vicariously at seeing Nick shudder through an orgasm, but the thin thread remained unsnapped. He held Vash’s hips and rolled his own up, searching for that last bit of friction.
“Nick, help -“ Vash said, reaching up for a hand. Nick seemed to catch his meaning and pulled out of Vash before helping Vash up into a sitting position. Livio lost some of what little friction he had, and groaned but reached down anyway, game to finish himself off. It would only take a few strokes -
“Oof,” Vash grumbled as he awkwardly clambered up and turned himself around. “Fuck. Ow, cramp. Ah -“ And before Livio could take himself in hand, Vash had scooted up, grabbed Livio’s cock and sunk onto it.
The explosion of wet heat and tightness almost made Livio come on the spot, but he managed to keep it to a gasp and an upwards jerk. Vash rolled his neck and bit his lip, as red-faced as ever. With a good view of his front, Livio could now see he was fully hard again.
“God, you’re impossible,” Livio gasped, and thrust up roughly. The way was extra-slick, and the realization that he was fucking Nick’s come deeper into Vash made him groan.
Behind Vash, Nick wrapped his arms around Vash’s middle and leaned on his shoulder. “C’mon, Liv, fuck him ’til he can’t walk.”
Vash nodded in rapid, teary-eyed agreement and ground down.
So Vash had rode himself stupid while Livio helped, until his body clamped down hard around Livio’s length, triggering Livio’s firestorm orgasm along with him. It felt like it took forever to empty himself into Vash, conscious thought reduced to nothing but white noise and waves of pleasure. By the time they were both done, gasping for ragged breaths and shaking, the mess was truly impressive.
Livio ran his hands up and down Vash’s hips, but when he made as if to lift Vash off, Vash moaned complaint and squeezed his knees into Livio’s sides to keep himself where he was. Still sitting on Livio’s dick, full and trembling.
Nick let out a contented sigh and brushed Vash’s wrecked hair back from his forehead. “You deserved that,” he told Vash.
Vash squeezed his eyes shut but didn’t say anything. He leaned his head back against Nick’s.
“You’re so good,” Nick murmured. “Did so good, Vash. Letting us take care of you.”
Livio held Vash’s waist firmly, acutely aware of the place where they were locked together, and said, “I love you. You can’t make me stop.”
Vash let out a small breath. Quiet and weak, he said, “You don’t know that.”
“Yes I do,” Livio said, and found that it was true. “And if you need me to hold you down until you believe it, I will.”
Vash let out another rough breath, more watery this time. He blinked his eyes open; they were bright with unshed moisture, the sea-green standing out dazzlingly bright.
“See, Livio gets it.” Nick moved his hands down from Vash’s chest to where his hips pressed flush to Livio’s. Nick massaged the base of Vash’s tentacle, which had mostly retracted into its sheath, using Vash’s mess of come as lube to fiddle with the inch or so of tapered head that was still out. Vash hissed and grimaced, but didn’t try to make Nick stop. “When you’re in your head too much, you get toxic. We gotta purge that out of you, huh?”
“I can’t,” Vash said, apparently about the hand on his dick. He squirmed as if to get away but he was still trapped in place by Livio’s cock. Livio had gone mostly soft by now, but if Vash kept keeping him warm and squirming on top of him, that might not stay the case.
“You sure?” Nick asked, sly and teasing. “You might have some poison left in there. Gotta get it all out.”
Vash bit his lip. He wasn’t getting hard again, his tentacle retreating under Nick’s fingers. Nick switched to pressing against the top of his slit, acting like he might squeeze a finger in there alongside Livio.
“I got all the time in the world,” Nick said. “Keep you open until you’re ready to squirt again? I’ll fuck you all night. We got four hands between us now, we can swap fingers and dick until you don’t have a drop left in you.”
Vash let out a groan and finally, finally, said, “Motorcycle, fuck.”
Nick laughed and removed his hand from Vash’s crotch. His demeanor shifted immediately. “Okay, Spikes, that’s enough of that.” He kissed Vash’s hair and smiled down at Livio. “Forced orgasms a little much for a demo.”
Livio swallowed against a dry mouth and said, “Wait, you’ve done that?”
Vash made a pathetic little noise and said, “Dry ones feel different, okay? Kinda hurts, but - really good.”
“Oh,” Livio said, dumbfounded. And not at all averse to the idea, it turned out.
Vash whoofed out a long breath and said, “I don’t know if my legs still work.”
That made Livio and Nick both laugh at him, and helped ease them all into the aftermath. Livio sat up and helped lift Vash off, distracted by the drizzle of come and slick that followed. Nick grabbed the nearest discarded shirt and pressed it between Vash’s legs, whispered “Slut” into Vash’s ear and got a squeak in return.
“So this isn’t an all-the-time thing,” Livio said, moving to the side of the bed and looking for one of the rags they kept around for cleanup.
“You’ve been here,” Nick said pointedly. “Hasn’t been a thing for months.”
“But that’s not - you weren’t just not doing it because of me, right?”
Vash hummed and flopped onto his back on the bed, hand between his legs, taking over the job of trying to keep the sheets from getting soaked. “No,” he said. “I don’t know. I haven’t - I feel like I used to need it more.”
“Same,” Nick said, moving to sit against the headboard and watch Vash with love in his expression. “Being dead changed a lot of the shit I used to get hung up on.”
Livio found a cloth and offered it to Vash, who sat up with mumbled thanks and moved the soggy shirt out of the way to finish wiping up with the rag. The flavor of his come still lingered in Livio’s mouth. When Livio had been younger and uselessly yearning for intimacy, driven insane by hormones and horny all the fucking time but too afraid of other people to do anything about it, his fantasies had been full of the heat and throes of passion. Disembodied snippets focused squarely on the mid-action part of sex. Now he’d found that there was a whole other realm of intimacy in the aftermath that he’d never realized was part of the deal. Watching Vash wipe come out of his ass crack while the sweat dried on his chest and his face went from red to light, rosy pink was simultaneously sort of gross but also adorable. It made Livio want to mess him up again just to see him try to put himself back together.
“You believe us about everything, right?” Livio asked, sitting on the bed beside Nick. “Outside the sex stuff.”
Vash turned to look at them, elbows draped over his raised knees. Naked, scarred, lightly bruised, intensely alive. For a moment, he looked his age. He met Livio’s eyes and simply said, “Yes.”
Livio understood that this would not always have been true. Being restrained and forced to feel pleasure while being told he was a good person would have been a very different beast for Vash, once upon a time. Now it was almost a joke. Vestigial kink.
“Good,” Livio said.
Vash gave him a soft, warm smile.
“So what’s the deal with getting you off while you’re asleep?” Livio asked.
Nick, who had been sinking dozily back against the headboard, blinked wide and sat up. “Oh, you’ve been busy trying to start shit while I wasn’t looking,” he told Vash accusingly.
The pink returned to Vash’s face. “That was - that’s different -“
“I knew you were hard up for it today, but not that bad,” Nick said.
Vash said, “I was having a good dream, okay! And Livio was right there -”
Nick bumped Livio’s shoulder. “Take notes, we got more ground to cover,” he said. “He’s had a hundred years to get weird.”
“Hey!” Vash objected. “I am not!”
Livio grinned at their banter, which from his experience was only getting started. All the unease of the day had left him, like smoke in a light wind. He was happy to learn whatever they still had to show him, but more than that, he was happy to know that there was nothing sinister at the bottom of it all.