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Ted likes to think he isn't an overly dramatic person. He may have moments of wanting to stand in the spotlight, but in his defense, highlighting a bright spot to make it even brighter is better than giving a bad one center stage, right? Besides, he mostly does it to pass the mic and give someone else their chance to rock the house, if he wants to fit the theme of his metaphor of boosting someone's self-esteem to reach their full potential. And while Beard may disagree a smidgen, the fact remains that Ted is usually doing it for The Bit and not genuinely an overly dramatic person at his core.
But today really was feeling like Ted's horrible, no good, very bad day.
Starting off his dad by waking up having tossed and turned to see his phone didn't get plugged in all the way so seeing it at fun 12% made his heart race in a way that felt unnecessary and thus led to him berating himself for being anxious over nothing only to turn around and tell himself off for not practicing proper self-care. Then, on his rush to work, Henry called and his phone died mid facetime, only for Henry to not be available once he got to his office with a charger. Michelle apologized and said Henry had a "hang out, we 'don't do playdates anymore, Mom'. I'm sorry, Ted. I tried to get him to answer, but his friend Stevie got a pet iguana, you know how he is about reptiles." Which Ted understands and respects, but that doesn’t make it less painful.
He wonders if Henry would have pulled away if he was still with him back at home. Ted cuts that thought off by reminding himself that he and Michelle weren’t together so the fact he was over here actually helped with the whole ‘who gets their son when’ which just makes him even more upset. Ted would never bash on Michelle’s parenting and that only leaves his parenting and ain’t nobody got time for that, thank you very much. It’s only when Ted wonders if he would have pulled away from his dad that he decides to turn on do-not-disturb and pretend payphones are still a thing.
Now people can say what they want about one Theodore Paul Lasso, but he is nothing if not a particularly good finder of silver linings. He might not know what an offside is, but he knows his colors and he knows a matte gray from a shiny silver. It's a new dawn, it's a new day and Ted was gonna make it good.
—------
Ted thinks they should invest in more wood for the club interior design because apparently “knocking on linoleum” doesn’t hit quite the same. Whcih is why today is practice. Ted refuses to call it training because it felt more like a practice run at training than any actual training. It seems each coach is on a very different frequency from each other on the radio that is the Diamond Dogs, because none of them can seem to agree on any one way to run a play. Even a text to Higgins gives no clear democratic leverage any one way, only a very thoughtful and even more apologetic explanation that Higgins doesn't knows football as well as them and that he could never come close to the brilliance that is the afc Richmond coaching staff and to remind them that they had to believe not only in believe, but also themselves. It was so good, Roy sent a thumbs up emoji in the group chat (Ted didn’t even know he was in the chat still), and it made Ted feel like the day was taking a turn for the better. Ted was wrong, but also he thinks that thing Richard said, something about no twos without threes? He can’t remember exactly, but he's starting to think that young man was on to something because he might as well have said “what could go wrong?” in any movie ever for how much the universe is clearly enjoying the show that is Ted’s life.
Unfortunately, while the coaches are feeling a bit better about their boyband, it seems that when the Dogs are away, the boys will play. Which, for a football team is normally the thing that you want them to do. Yet while the coaches were deliberating on what to do, it seems some of the boys got antsy and started playing around which, normally, is all good in Ted's hood because it means the boys are not only a team who respect each other as teammates, but also view each other as friends maybe even a family. But when doing some tricks with the ball leads to someone getting a minor headache from a wayward juggle and thankfully only an almost-but-not twisted knee, even Ted was considering pulling a Roy and just forgoing his whistle for a reason to yell. Ted has never resonated with Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde before, but he thinks he can physically feel Led trying to claw his way out and he was getting closer and closer to letting it happen.
All around, by the time the day had ended Ted was not only ready to be done, but maybe even to skip food and go straight to bed. The idea of going to get food only to find a secret third option of food poisoning or even just spilling it over themselves was too overwhelming. He didn't feel like cooking and while Ted would die on the field of battle for Mae, he didn't think he could talk about anything at the moment. It was only on his way around to his apartment (he wasn’t willing to risk an amount of biscuits on the chance Mae wouldn’t see him, so long way round it was with a side of wandering from being lost in thought) that Ted catches sight of a restaurant that makes him stop and do a double take worthy of one Missy Elliot.
It was a small pizza place. Not even a chain restaurant, but one that is clearly run by a family with its simple yet clearly designed with the owners personal choices in mind aesthetics. Walking in with his backpack and smelling the greasy, so bad it's good oiliness, taking in the way the tables matched but only half the chairs did, the family photos on the walls that aren't even famous people, but just random people from situations that you can only really understand if you were there, hearing someone blasting music with lyrics that would make a corporate executive go more red in the face that the cartoon tomato on the logo; Ted was truly living the British experience of traveling through not only space, but time. That was the only explanation for how Ted was 14 again, back home and stopping for a snack after school.
Except he wasn't at home, he wasn't getting a slice with his friends, and his mom wouldn't jokingly chastise him for eating before dinner and his dad wouldn't be there to wink at him behind her back and tell her he was a growing boy and needed the extra fuel just to make it there and back. He was not at home, he wasn’t with his friends, he wasn’t going home to his mom, his dad-
No, he wasn’t but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have a slice with him, did it?
—-----
When Ted finally sits on the bench with his pizza he ordered and the jar of peanut butter he grabbed from his place while said pizza was being made, he decides that English pizza and American pizza probably wouldn't be friends. Admittedly, if he wasn't in such a sour mood, he would probably enjoy the food a bit more. Or at least lie to himself a bit better. It’s only after sitting staring into the middle distance for a hot minute does Ted realize he isn't alone on the bench anymore.
Seeing Beard shouldn't surprise him nearly as much as it does and yet seeing him makes him so happy he gets a little mad. Beard never seems to have time for Ted anymore, running around with his Wednesday Addams all grown up spin-off but not the cool new one that is Jane Payne. The fact he wants to hang out now of all times makes him both so happy and so mad, he thinks his vision gets a bit blurry. It's only when he realizes that was probably just the tears in his eyes does he look away. England might have the equivalent of zero humidity, but this place was constantly raining; misty eyes are surprisingly common here, at least for Ted.
Ted isn't sure if he's lucky or not to have a friend like Beard who can read him like his heart is not only on his sleeve, but it comes with closed captions in multiple languages and he can read every one of them. Beard just gives him a dry look and an even drier “For a man who has a whole pizza and a jar of peanut butter, you seem a little, cómo se dice…pissed off.”
“Yeah, well I just remembered that people wanted to remake WarGames and while I appreciate a good call back, sometimes the only real ones are the OG, you know?”
“First off, don’t act like we wouldn’t spite watch the crap out of that if it ever gets out of development hell and secondly, that’s not it and we both know it.”
Ted decides he won’t dignify that with a response, but he would dignify it with a hard side eye, courtesy of spending time with the true side eyeing master, one Sir Isaac McAdoo. It is not very effective, if the fond exasperation on Beard’s face is anything to go on. Dang these cow eyes of his, they weren’t built for mad mugging.
Beard clears his throat in a way that says he's going to be saying words that might invoke an emotion in Ted and possibly the man himself. “Ted, I never had the privilege of meeting your dad-” Ted opens his mouth to interrupt him, but he just holds up his hand to stop him “but if what I’ve heard about him from you and your mom is anything to go on, he was the type of guy who would try anything at least once. Even if it's an English pizza.”
Ted laughs to keep the tears in where they belong. “Yeah, he really was big on the try it once mentality. ‘If you give advice about things you don't know, give up and run for office’. At nine I didn’t understand that joke, but my mom always got a kick out of that.”
“That just makes it funnier to be honest.”
“Right?”
Ted takes as big a breath as his chest will let him and says “I kinda missed this. Not kinda. I’ve missed this. I feel like lately anytime one of us is free the other is busy with something and I love the others to bits and I fully accept and respect that we are grown men with our own lives- I do!-, but the fact that, well I don’t have to, but I feel like I gotta fill in all this dead air or just, I don’t know avoid it at all costs and with you it's so easy-”
Ted clears his throat and looks at the pizza between them. “Well, this pizza might not be what I thought it could be, but it's still pretty good, if you wanna get in on this.”
Beard’s little “hell yeah.” while grabbing a slice of not warm, not cold pizza and putting on a dab of peanut butter loosens something in Ted’s chest in a way it hasn’t for a long time. Ted clears his throat and jokes “What do you think of all that? The whole having to try things to see if you like ‘em or not? I love my dad, but sometimes he made me try new things I hated and yet, he kept at it and look at me now.”
Beard gives him a side eye of his own at that, the one where his eyes look bigger than Bambi’s and cause you to feel even more gooey inside than a warm chocolate chip cookie and says “I like how you turned out.”
While he’s trying to not lose it at all of that, Beard continues with “Besides, if you didn’t turn out the way you did, we probably wouldn't have a job in Richmond considering it was such a huge leap of faith whether we would like it to admit that or not. Like me trying to play polo even though I’m deathly afraid of horses or that time you grew your hair out because you wanted to try feathering it like Princess Diana, but told everyone it's because you wanted to look like Brad Pitt.”
“You do realize those are two examples of why not to try new things right? Everyone said my hair looked like a wig from a straight-to-tv Disney movie about surfers who also fought crime and you, sir, are now more afraid of horses than ever.”
“For the record, I think you looked great with a ponytail and horses are majestic killing machines, but that's not the point. The point is, we tried something new and guess what? Richmond is clearly the best thing that happened to us”.
Ted just stares at Beard for a moment that stretches on for too long, yet not nearly for long enough to say “you really mean that dont you?”
“Jan Maas clearly takes after me because I only speak truths”.
“You know they aren’t actually our kids, right? We aren’t raising them together or anything.”
“Ehh. We kind of are.”
“I know, I love it.”
Beard throws his head back laughing and Ted finds it in himself to give that a real smile. Then, in true Beard fashion, he blindsides him by telling him “You can cry, if you want. I got you.”
Beard said it with no judgment and such open, earnest eyes that Ted couldn’t possibly deny him anything. And so he did.
Ted starts crying. Ted tries to make a joke about something, anything, he doesn’t even know about what, but he can’t seem to find the words. Not that it mattered considering the few sounds he does get out sounded choked and rushed. And bless him, Beard just scoots closer to him and wraps an arm around him and they just continue to eat. Ted doesn’t know what kind of image they make, two grown men on a bench with a pizza box and a jar of peanut butter between them while one holds the other in one arm while the other breaks down crying, but Ted can’t find it in him to truly give a single damn.
—---------------------------
Ted feels a little better after his impromptu PB Pizza Party. He feels lighter, like part of the world's largest ball of twine was slowly unraveling inside his chest. Beard seems to be a bit happier too, if the way he's stoically looking out at the room with his arms crossed is any indication.
They started the day off vibrating with joy Higgins telling them all about how his eldest child had come out to the family and showing them all photos of his fully grown child like they are a newborn (the correct, right response, in Ted’s humble opinion). Ted is even happier to note that everyone at Richmond has looked at every photo in support and has only heard good things from everyone and the boys want to have a party for Lindsay with the Higgins’. Roy had made a comment about Jane earlier when Beard was looking at his phone and only to be met with a calm “who?”.
Roy himself had come into the office with a small trophy saying ‘Best Smile’ and put it on his desk and answered the nonverbal questions of everyone pointedly not looking at it with “Phoebe gave this to me and I’m keeping it. Shut the fuck up.” He didn’t even chew their heads off when Beard replies “We didn’t say anything. But, yeah, she's right.” Ted wouldn't say Roy was flustered because he actually does value his life, but if he were a little braver and a lot stupider, Ted might consider it.
The boys seemed to have realized that while he is completely on board with them having a good time, training is for training. Everyone seemed to be on their A game. Everyone was running on air and getting where they needed to be with what seemed zero friction or drag. Zoreaux and O’Brien were giving up nothing on either side of the scrimmage, not even flinching when kicks sent the ball a little too close to home. Colin and Sam seemed to have made up a trick play that involved a lot of quick back and forth with uncannily timed fake outs that left everyone too impressed to be frustrated. When asked for its name, they would both just break down into giggles because apparently you “had to be there”. Isaac says he's calling it Those Two Guys if they don’t tell them the name which just sends them, and soon the rest of the team, into hysterics.
Jamie is telling them that he's learning knitting from Moe and it has really helped him when it comes to getting into the right mindspace for a game quickly and it has clearly helped both of their games and their crafts as according to the many instagram posts of knitted items they are working on. It is only when Ted heard Jan Maas say Dani’s goal was “the most well executed scissor kick anyone has ever made” he knew what he had to do. Two words: Pizza. Party.
—------
Luckily for Ted, he had enough forethought to stock a jar of peanut butter at every major place he spends considerable time at (his place, his office, Rebecca’s office, Higgins’ office, Keeley’s office, every player's house, The Crown & Anchor, even Trent’s office at The Independent wasn’t immune to TLPB). So when they break out the numerous pizzas, he breaks out the peanut butter more out of habit than anything. However, before Ted could even think about whether he wanted to even use some this time, the din of the locker room is cut by a very blunt “what in the fuck is that?”
When everyone turns to look at Roy and then to where he is looking, everyone seems to come to the same conclusion at the same time. Ted looks at the jar sitting on the bench and decides, yes he's going to do this. “Well, this here is known as ‘peanut butter’. I know y’all don't really enjoy it that much over here -and by here I mean all of Europe- but I feel like at this point I’ve explained the concept to y’all enough you could probably make it yourselves. NOT that you would ever want or have to.” Ted is quick to add to the dark look that crosses over Richard’s face.
Keeley is looking from Ted to Roy to the jar and back until finally she blurts out, “you genuinely can't look me in the eye and say you like that.”
Ted is so caught off guard by the passion in her voice that Beard has to confirm for him that, yes it is something that they both do.
“For real life?”
“For realsies”.
Keeley sagely nods her head at this. She and Beard have a mutual respect and understanding of the sanctity of the word. Roy, on the other hand, does not.
“Why.”
Beard just looks him dead in the eye and, with an overly exaggerated shrug, says “let it be a mystery”. Ted thinks Beard is a real one for not even having to look at him to know he was going to even begin to touch that. Roy and Beard stare at each other until Roy gives a nod. Ted doesn’t totally understand what those nods mean exactly, but he's starting to suspect they don't either and are doing it to purely mess with him.
Sam, did Ted mention Sam is his favorite because while he loves all of his children equally, bless his son from another mother and father, chooses to speak up. “Well, I can’t say I’ve ever tried it before, so I can make no judgment on it. Would it be alright if we tried some?”
Now, Ted knows Sam is just doing it to make him feel better because the slight pinch between his eyebrows was Sam’s major tell, but bless him for trying. Ted just laughs “while I appreciate the offer Sam, I won’t make any of you try it if you don’t want to. It is a bit of an acquired taste for some and I don't even do it every time myself. It's more of a ‘special occasion’ thing than a regular one.”
For a moment Sam looks relieved to not have to ruin their celebration pizza, but then squares his shoulders and says “I think that, after a training like today is cause for celebration, yes?” and with that, all the boys were passing the jar around and trying it.
Ted understands that, from the boys' faces, only a few of them are enjoying it (Jan Maas is a very tall enigma and he is not wrong), but watching them give it a go and try it anyway makes him feel a grab bag of emotions. On one hand, he felt something not bitterness, but a sort of sad feeling. They were trying it and hating it just to make him feel better. But more than anything, he felt proud. Ted may joke that they are his kids with the full understanding that they are grown men who are also technically his employees, but they are and always will be his family. They wanted to try it just because it means something to Ted, no context, no backstory. They saw a situation where he was put on the spot and they stepped up for him.
Ted looks over the room full of people eating pizza with various levels of peanut butter on their faces. Higgins and his wife talking with Moe and showing each other their phones with big smiles on their faces. Beard and Keeley had pulled some of the boys into what Ted is guessing is a lively talk about historical fashion based on the way they were gesturing and the fact Ted knew these two specific people very well. De Maas was clearly into it and gave a lot of helpful information on the hair style front using himself, Keeley, and Beard as various hair lengths throughout history with Sam and Isaac as a attentive audience (he wonders if he can convince them to make a podcast, he would definitely give it a listen if not just for the idea of those three personalities hanging out together). Zoreaux was fruitlessly translating for Richard what they were all saying. Ted only says fruitlessly because Richard seemed more interested in teasing Zoeraux by trying to feed him pizza slathered in what even Ted would describe as too much PB and was only translating to avoid having to actually eat anything.
Roy was having a heated discussion with Dani, Jan and Colin that seemed to be mostly Roy and Dani getting worked up over various strikers and who should and probably will be in the next world cup. Cultural divides? Never heard of her. Jan Maas was nodding his head along to the conversation while he ate his pizza in a way that Ted can only describe as serene, truly a boy after his own heart right there. Colin kept looking between his plate and the trash can which might have hurt if it weren’t for the fact that he kept eating it while he did it; Ted respected that, it reminded him a lot of what he was like when he was younger.
Ted spent the rest of the party and the week thinking of who on the team took after him or Beard more. Sometimes a family can be a coach, a coach, a girlboss in heels that scare lesser men, her boyfriend who is also a coach, a tall boss bitch, a kitman who is too good for this world too pure, the Higgins’, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, a player, and a player and Ted thinks that is beautiful.
—-------
Ted, in better spirits and wanting to ride this high for as long as he can, goes back to visit Ollie’s family’s restaurant. He is a lover of call backs first and a person second and felt like he was due for a repeat performance. He has been back since the first time, but chose to eat crow over kolhapuri chicken and admitted to Ollie that he might have to tone down the heat a tick. Ollie laughed and told him it was fine and promised to tell his dad that Ted still ate his food as is while telling the line chef the “real deal”. Ted was feeling pretty darn good all around when Ollie went back to the kitchen with his order while laughing at his latest ideas for good restaurant names when who should Ted see over at the server stand waiting to be seated than “Well if it ain’t Trent Crimm, Independent!”
Trent stops to look over at whos calling him, as though any other sane human being would ever address someone in such a loud, dedicated way. When he sees that Ted is alone, and because he was raised right, gestures to let the woman seating a couple that he was going to sit with someone and makes his way over to Ted.
Trent opens his arms with a flourish after sitting down. “Behold a pale horse.”
“Oh! Trent Crimm with the hot to trot references! Although, is that a biblical reference or more silver screen? I suppose it could still technically be a literary reference a la Emeric Pressburger, but imma be honest, I feel if you quote the book of a more well known movie, you are just making a roundabout movie reference in the end.”
Trent gives him a look he couldn’t completely describe, but it made Ted feel warm inside. Like being cold and wrapped in a warm blanket. Which is to say, ideal. It made complete, but little sense to him and he thinks that is probably the most accurate way anyone can come close to describing Trent as a person. Cold on the outside, warm on the inside.
“I am continuously surprised by the amount of pop culture you consume. As for the reference, while I appreciate a classic, I do hope I don’t look like death to you.”
Ted did not think he looked like death. If anything he looked like those aesthetic picture set things Keeley likes to make in her free time when she can’t sleep and needs to unwind at 2am and then shows everyone the next day because she is 100% correctly proud of what she ends up making. Trent looks a bit like a literature or history professor from a young adult novel or a surrealist horror podcast about working in an archive or something, the one who the fans just know hot even though they are just words and/or a voice. Ted thinks he would read that book and mentally laughs at the thought that it would be a little ironic to have a podcast about a writer.
“While it is morbid to say, I think I will have to go with the much less bleak Spanish civil war!”
Trent mouth was writing checks it couldn’t cash in the stoicism department it seems because after struggling to rein it in, he smiled. “So I just look like I’ve walked through hell? I can’t say which I would prefer…”
“You seem like you’ve been through the desert…”
Trent just raises his eyebrow at him. He might not know the reference in question, but he knows Ted’s ‘set up’ voice and Trent was nothing if not patient.
Never let it be said that Ted didn’t deliver. Taking a deep breath, he belts out a broken western tune “On a horse with no name!”
Ted thinks he would be embarrassed with how loud he was except Trent looked so pleased by this turn of events he could really bring himself to care.
“I must say, I’m surprised to see you here considering the last time I saw you, you seemed a bit hot under the collar.”
Ted just points and gives a “ah!”. While Ted is certain he would never admit it, Trent seemed very pleased to get such a reaction out of Ted. And honestly, Ted could relate. He, too, knew the satisfaction of getting a rise out of someone who is known for giving nothing away after all. “If I remember correctly, someone put Meatloaf to shame and ran like a bat out of hell when the naan showed up and the other one was me.”
“Alright, alright! You have me there. Normally I adore a good tikka masala, but it was perhaps a bit too authentic for my palette. I am all for staying true to the dish's origin, but my constitution is a bit… weak for that.” Trent chuckles.
Ted thinks it's unfair that a grown man can look sheepish and yet a lot of things in life are unfair. He could probably live with this one. If he had to.
While thinking about not thinking about Trent and living with him around and whether he would be something that was in his life for an extended period of time, Trent flagged Ollie down and gave him his order. Turns out, Trent had also been back and also let Ollie know that while his family's food was very delicious, he would need it a bit milder and even had a regular order. “The ‘usual’? Trent Crimm, as I live and breathe, I knew you were a secret softie.”
Trent just gives him a look that says Ted should admire the herculean effort going into being a mature adult and not sticking his tongue out at him in public. He wonders what Trent would do if he did that to him just now, but decides to shove that card back up his sleeve. No point in showing his whole hand in one night even if he thinks he pulled something restraining himself just then. Although he thinks he might not have been as slick at covering up the not quite smirk at that thought if the soft glare Trent gives him is anything to go by. Sorry sir, Ted thinks that look right there just sealed your fate.
They chat about their kids, about school and teachers, just the general complaining about being old that you do with someone who is your same age and also has a small child so there's no fear of being called out on it. Trent talks about his dad a bit, explaining that he has decided to try any new hobby he can think of. This week has been longboarding which is not skateboarding, but similar in that it involves a man of his fathers age standing on a small plank of wood with even smaller wheels propelling his body at speeds it's not built for. Apparently Trent has strong Not Opinions on the matter that he won’t ever bring up to his dad because “he is not a child, it is his life and he can endanger if he wishes. I told him it sounds questionable at best and he refuses to listen, the stubborn old man.”
“Like father, like son.”
“What was that?”
“Does he ever say radical? Wait, oh my gosh, you know what you should do?”
With a long suffering tired sigh, Trent guesses “If it is ‘take a video of him holding his board and saying ‘how do you do, fellow kids’’ don’t bother. Persephone has already beat you to this suggestion. And before you ask, yes it exists and yes I will send you the video because I have no control over my life.”
Ted feels so shocked he’s the quietest he has ever been before he laughs so hard he starts to actually hurt. “Your ahaha your daughter, she! Com-comedy is all about timing and your daughter has it!”
Ted must be lightheaded because he swears Trent has what one could easily describe as heart eyes. Even more so, Ted thinks it's a very good look on him.
Faux sighing, in his most put upon voice Trent asks him not to tell her that. “She is already so insufferable as is, I don’t need that child to grow more of an ego.”
Ted catches his breath and merely sips his water innocently and yet Trent the gall to tell him “Not. A. Word.”
He points at his water, showing that not only did he not say a word he is in fact still drinking. Trent shakes his head like Ted was being the unreasonable one. The audacity of this man, honestly. He is saved from telling this man exactly what Persephone would say to her dad about that by Ollie coming by with both of their orders. They both thank Ollie for the food and tell him to tell his father that he makes amazing food. After placing things where they need to go and getting situated, they both tuck in.
Ted normally would be giving his mother a phantom heart attack by speaking with his mouth full, but he thinks that it's kind of nice to just exist with someone on occasion. Lately, because of his anxiety and the divorce and everything in between hopping on a plane until right now, he’s felt a need to fill the air. Even with Beard - probably the only person who has ever made a silence feel comfortable- he has felt like if things get quiet it was almost like something bad would happen. Like Ted’s skin was too tight and he had to do everything he could to make sure the other person wasn’t feeling the pressure of an awkward silence even if they assured him it wasn’t.
But right here, right now, eating good food with a good man was just about everything Ted could ask for. More, even. The fact he got to just sit here was such a blessing Ted felt he needed to check his hands or read a book or whatever other old wives tales people say to tell if you're dreaming or not. He wasn’t willing to risk it by saying it, but Ted was happy.
Trent and Ted didn’t talk much after that, but if Trent keeps smiling at him like that over his naan bread like that Ted might just take a breath more often.
—-------
Life at the club gets into a routine that makes Ted think everything truly was coming up Milhouse. The team have found a rhythm that makes him proud in a way he can never tell Beard unless he wants to be mocked for being Dad Shaped for the rest of both of their lives. Keeley and Roy were better than ever it seemed. Turns out that talking to your friends and spending time both apart and together was healthy: who knew! The boys were all spending time together outside the club and seemed like they were all doing better than ever. Higgins apologized for talking about his kid so much until Roy asked if he was apologizing for being a good dad. Ted legit thought Roy would deck Higgins for a second until he remember what a Higgins hug felt like and not even Roy “Fucking Kill You” Kent would turn one of those bad boys down.
The Diamond Dogs were going over some ideas when Ted’s phone lights up. Thinking it could be Michelle and hoping to God it's not about Henry or being injured, him or her or some other horrible event he isn’t there to help with that when he sees it is in fact a text fromTrent he pauses. It’s not that they haven’t ever texted before, but Ted can list the number of times on both hands- which normally isn’t as impressive as the hyperbolic one hand, but in this case, it hits because it's true. Considering the last time they text, as confirmed when he opens his phone, Trent was telling him about how he wrote an article that kicked off the events of last season. While he understands and appreciates what Trent did for him so genuinely, the possibilities of what it could be made his chest hurt a little.
Trent was hoping Ted would come by his place later that night. While he didn’t say what it was exactly, Trent reassured him that it was nothing bad and was hoping to mostly vent over dinner. Ted has no idea what to make of these series of messages; the fact that Trent wanted to have dinner made his heart swell. Followed by the fact Trent took time to make sure Ted’s anxiety didn’t run rampant made him feel like when he was a kid and he tried to pop a balloon by wrapping his arms around it. If he didn’t do something soon he felt like he just might pop.
“Everything ok?”
Ted looks up and sees that Beard was looking at him. When he puts his phone down, he sees that both Roy and Higgins are also staring at him. Maybe staring at his phone while standing at his desk wasn’t the most subtle of moves. Ted clears his throat and looks around the room and, deciding that it's a bit late in the day and other than a small pep talk to end training on a high note, they were pretty much done interacting for the day. “Higgins, could you get the door real quick. I want to bounce something off y’all real quick if that's ok.”
While Higgins got the door for him the other two got comfortable; Beard at his desk and Roy sitting on the cabinet so that Higgins could have the extra chair. Ted claps his hands like he’s presenting to a class and decides that too much and sits down only to immediately get back up after he doesn’t enjoy being short for this conversation. Ted trusts these men with his life, but he feels fidgety and it's best to not fight it and just go with the flow.
“Right! So, you know Trent Crimm?”
“Independent?”
Bless Higgins’, this is a man who knows how to break the ice.
“No.”
“Never heard of him.”
Ted takes a moment to look at his best friends and reminds himself that yes, he does actually love them and this is a choice he is actively making everyday.
“Well, for those of you unaware, he is a former writer for The Independent. It’s like, a newspaper for something? Regardless, that man who is formally of The Independent has just messaged me and. Well, so the text says he just wants to like, well he said to ‘vent’ and to have a meal together so to say that we are hanging out together feels childish, but accurate? And… uh.” at thisTed falters.
Wow, coming out never gets any easier, huh?
Higgins, the mvp, the man, the myth, the legend, just goes “Ted, you can say anything or nothing and that's ok.”
Roy nods in agreement at him and elaborates. “We won’t speculate or anything thing stupid like that. You tell us anything or you don’t and that’s that. We aren’t a bunch of dickless little shitheads who are going to run our mouths on what you could have said.”
He goes on with “But also the man fucking pulled the pin and ran on his years long career after painstakingly writing a way (“hey!”) no, shut the fuck up! A way too flattering article, while admittedly nailing the pressures of fame on mental health, all because he didn’t want someone else to do a shit job at it. He literally wrote this as a rush job because the odds that little turncoat not telling anyone else was a fucking risk he wasn’t willing to fucking take. Do you know what that means?”
“You really like swearing?”
“Ted.”
“Alright. Alright! Okay. So, you might be - and stop me if I’m wrong! You might be saying that if I had hypothetical feelings for a hypothetical unnamed other party who hypnotically also had feelings for me, that those feelings could in fact hypothetically be recoperated?”
“You said hypothetically four times, Coach.”
“It felt like a lot, but it felt kinda weird to just stop halfway, you know?”
“Been there.”
“Right? It’s like I know its too much but also-”
“Ted!”
If he’s being fully honest, Ted was fully expecting to be yelled at, but not by Higgins. From the look on Beard and Roy’s face, he is not alone in this thought. It wasn’t anywhere near Roy or even Ted levels of yelling, but still. Although, he supposes a man who only has to whisper to get people to stop and listen is more impressive than a man who has to yell (oh, he should write that down, that could be workshopped for one of the boys later, he's sure).
“Ted, we care for you and no one in this room or on this team is going to make you tell us anything you aren’t ready for. As long as you understand that you have nothing to fear here. Because we all love you and will support you no matter what. Even though we haven't talked much, he seems decent enough, if the many articles I have read are anything to go by.” Higgins chuckled. “You want to go have dinner with Trent? That’s fine. That’s great! Because you deserve nice thingsTed. You know that right?”
They all take a moment to take that in and by that they mean their tears. Doing his best to collect himself, Ted chokes out a “wow, you are really good at this. Has anyone told you you are like, a really good dad, Higabyte?”
“Like recognizes like, Ted Zeppelin.”
“Damn! Wow, dang ok! Well, I am going to go talk to the boys before heading out for the night. Not because of me, obviously, but because I know Roy gets embarrassed when he cries and I am a good friend. So with that, I bid you all adieu. Diamond Dogs, roll out!!”
Ted walks into the locker room to give the boys their closing pep slightly earlier followed by the sounds of howling. He thinks he feels inspired, or motivated? He feels something; something good and light and nice. Like a warm blanket on his soul. Or like tikka masala with a friend. Ted did find a way to work that silence vs yelling into his speech and he got a solid nod from Issac and a lot of thoughtful looks from the rest of the boys. When he gathers his things and heads out to Trent’s he still has that warm fuzzy feeling in his chest. He realizes on his way out of the club that night that he never told the guys about himself. He wasn't ashamed of his bisexuality, but weirdly he felt good with where they were. He knew he would tell them and soon, yet not feeling rushed or panicked felt like a good omen. His friends accepted him and he believed them when they said they wouldn't take guesses on what he was going to say. While he enjoys a good ribbing between friends, he thinks he loves this new dynamic slightly more. If for no reason that he would have time to come up with way to come out to the team than almost certainly involved a costume change and maybe even a slight dance number.
Ted made his way to Trent's feeling the best he had in a while and, while he wasn't a betting man, he was willing to wager that this feeling was going to be the new norm. He liked that idea. A lot, actually.
—---------
Ted arrived a bit later to Trent’s house that he was hoping because any good guest should bring something with them. However, because he had texted Trent and told him he would be on his way immediately, he boxed himself into a corner on bringing biscuits. He couldn’t find it in himself to buy any from the store because that would be adding insult to self injury by way of shooting himself in the foot with his too fast texting. So he settled for take out and biscuit ingredients. Normally, if he were going to fully woo a future paramour, he would be cooking the meal and presenting the biscuits for dessert, but needs must and all that. He figured that, since he knew some foods Trent liked but wasn't an expert on making Indian himself, a stop at Don't Start Naan, Won't Be Naan with an order of usual and then, if Ted was reading the room correctly and he likes to think he is, he would bake for him.
Ted reminded himself that, while he knew Trent himself was out and proud with many writers awards lining his walls for works that Ted has read every one of, Trent probably didn't know he was bi bi bi until the day he died. While he may daydream of Trent making the first move, he knows he ultimately has to do something he hates: communicate.
Don't get him wrong! Ted loves to talk and he's not afraid of Trent rejecting his sexuality, but of rejecting him. The idea of Ted explaining his sexuality only for Trent to give him a well meaning pat on the arm and a ‘thank you for trusting me’ to be followed up with a night of awkward small talk because Trent would never do anything as uncultured as kicking him out and Ted is pretty sure he would freeze and fall back to his Midwestern upbringing by having an entire conversation but only physically. However, Ted felt like telling Trent was something more positive than negative because even though he was afraid the idea of him never knowing was scarier than any other outcome. He was willing to risk it for the biscuit on this one.
With a bag of ingredients in the crook of his arm, Indian takeout in hand, and his heart on his sleeve when he knocks on his door. Welp, he thinks, here goes everything.
—--------
Oh no. He's wearing pajamas. Trent is wearing soft pajama pants (sleep trousers?), a t-shirt for a band that has been lost to the ages of a washing machine, and his glasses with his hair in a bun. Why does someone who normally leaves their hair down look so good with it pulled up? Like he looks good with it loose, but he's just saying it's unfair!
Thankfully Trent, having not developed telepathy since they last saw one another, breathes a sigh of relief at seeing Ted. "Oh thank heaven, I was afraid you were my neighbor wanting to chat about the pitted plants again."
"Oh?"
Trent rolled his eyes while ushering Ted inside his apartment. "Yes, it seems that there is a new couple a few houses down who are growing 'suspicious looking herbs' in their window box. And it's just, why would I know this Susan and even if I did what could I possibly-!" Trent took a deep breath, "Never mind all that, I'm just very glad to see it's you."
Ted knows he probably means seeing him over this Susan person, but also Trent did invite him over to talk. With that in mind Ted held up his prizes in the universally recognized gesture of 'where do I put this stuff'. "Oh! Yes, sorry, I'm just standing here blathering and you have all this! Come in, come in. I hope it's not too heavy, it's just that seeing you. Well, anyway. Here we are!"
Ted would never say it, but chatty Trent was pretty adorable. Especially with his hair a bit wispy and his sleep trousers looking like they've been mended a time or two, so they clearly must be soft enough to be worth keeping, and him touching his glasses constantly like he keeps forgetting they're there. It's seeing him like this that harkens back to him and Rpy talking in his kitchen; Jim trying to be normal but missing by a country mile and just being so hyped up on Something that he felt like a shark, if he stopped moving he'd die.
Ted sets everything down on the counter and dusts his hands off. He knows it's a bit dramatic, but Trent clearly needed it because it draws his attention to the fact they need plates and silverware and so busies himself with that. "So! What was that text about anyway? I mean, I love me a good mystery but there's a plot twist and then there's leaving me in the dark, imma need some context."
Trent (being both a gentleman and a scholar) gets everything set up for them and distributed for them both in record time. They end up eating at the kitchen island while sitting next to each other. Trent slowly picked at his food, but started to dig in once Ted started talking; he must have been stressed from the day and was just now really sitting down to eat. Ted “hypocrite” Lasso had a few opinions on that that he was going to save for a later date, thank you very much.
After Trent had eaten all his food and Ted was mostly done he turned to face him completely, only getting slightly distracted by the fact their legs were bumping like this. When Trent turned to face him as well, their knees made an alternating pattern; Trent, Ted, Trent, Ted.
“I do have to apologize, Ted.”
“What? Why?”
Trent sighs and puts his elbow on the tabletop to hold his head in, probably to combat any oncoming headache while the other was on his leg to support his weight. Which meant that Trent’s hand was close to brushing the inside of his knee. He can’t think that while looking him in the eye, he can’t.
“Ted?”
“I’m sorry!”
“What, why?”
“What. Nothing! What?”
“...Would you prefer that I-”
“Ignore all of that and move on immediately, yes please.”
Trent just gave him that same look he would give him in the press room. That ‘you’re lucky you’re charming because that’s the only reason you’re still alive’ and he ain't wrong. The amount of times Ted has almost been decked during a press conference is so high he could see his house from up there. The fact he couldn’t be mad because they weren’t wrong was Ted’s real issue (Beard disagreed, but that man always seemed to jump at the chance to actually fight for Ted which he didn’t appreciate so here they were). After taking a moment to breathe and shake off any weird vibes that Trent carried on his shoulders and Ted was clearly born with, Trent starts by saying “so, you remember how I told you my father had taken up longboarding?”
“Oh yeah! I looked into that and while I know you disapprove, it does admittedly look fresh to death. Also tell Persephone that she is correct, that video was hilarious. I shared it with Beard, but I feel that was an understood thing and doesn’t really even count as sharing it.”
Trent waved him off with a simple “Oh, please! Implying I didn’t know he would watch it over your shoulder after you tell him ‘watch this’ is borderline insulting. I know a package deal when I see one. Besides, her art should be appreciated and that's a man who knows quality if I’ve ever met one.”
The only reason Ted would debate telling Beard any of this is because if Beard started crying, Ted would ball his eyes out and it would be a whole thing. Don’t get him wrong, he is gonna tell him, but over text. You know, like a true bro.
“Regardless, my father in his infinite wisdom decided he would ‘learn by doing’ and went out to find any kind of incline he could and practice on that.”
“Oh, boy.”
“Oh, boy, indeed! He wasn’t seriously injured, barely a sprain and a few bruises, but the fact my daughter called me crying about her Nonno being ‘so hurt’ has made for a somewhat tense day. He had Perin call because he was using his hand to support his wrist. He took the phone from her right after because he didn’t think she was so shaken until she heard my voice. I think the combination of him needing help and hearing me was a bit too much for her. He took the phone and reassured us both everything was alright and that it was mostly an annoyance than anything.”
“But?”
“However” here Ted mouths the word ‘nerd’ at him “however, I will admit that, well…. I suppose I have been imagining all of the ways it could have gone.”
Normally this is the part where Ted would break out an anecdote or two, twisting a tale to make the person hopefully a bit more at ease, to make Trent understand that Ted heard him and that he wasn’t alone.
But he didn’t.
It was a bit difficult and he probably looked like he had ants in his pants the way he was fidgeting in his seat, but all Ted did was give his arm a squeeze to let him know he was listening. Trent looked like he wished just as much that Ted would fill the silence while also understanding exactly what Ted was giving him by saying nothing at all.
“He assured me that it was mostly the shock of the fall more than anything and that it felt better after a few minutes of icing it… I don’t know, I suppose. The fear that, oh, I don’t know.”
Trent stopped and glanced at Ted and normally that would rub him the wrong way, the idea that another adult had to censor themselves because Ted couldn’t handle the stress of being reminded of things he never forgot. However, with Trent, it didn’t bother him as much. In fact it didn’t really bother him at all. Trent wasn’t pointing out that as parents they have to live with the fear of their child living their lives outside their eyesight and that something could very much happen to them when they aren’t there to try to protect them. That Trent and Ted are both fathers but also sons who fear the idea of getting a call that someone who they love so much is hurt and they have to come quickly.
Ted just smiled at him to show that he heard the unspoken words and appreciated the thought behind it. He also saw that Trent was perhaps at his limit of expressing emotions and needed an out. Which ain't that just the way, this man has perfect timing and he doesn’t even realize. Looking at the counter and beginning to clean everything up, Ted gathers something and moves to the other side of the island and starts moving plates to the sink and gathering the bags of ingredients.
Ted normally would bend over backwards to clean a space that has another person in it even if that space is not Ted’s own home, but something in him thinks that Trent needs to keep his hands active after their heart to heart and so busies himself with his work and leaves him to his.
After gathering leftovers and putting the correct things into compost and the rest in trash or recycling, Trent stands at the island watching Ted get the counter top cleaned. “I must admit, when I saw you carrying bags earlier I wasn’t entirely sure what you were carrying in them.”
“Yeah, well, I might have jumped the gun when I said I was coming over and depriving you of my signature dish felt off brand for me. I mean I’m the biscuits guy! It’s the thing I’m known for! People go ‘oh, Ted Lasso? The dude with the Tom Selleck ‘stache and the cookies and I don’t know sports or whatever?’ Like I’m in that photo, that’s me!”
Trent looked at him with his go to signature of fond exasperation. “What accent was that even? Who is saying these things and where are they from.”
“That’s what you got from all of that?”
“Call me curious.”
“You’re an animal.”
Trent threw his head back and laughed at that. Ted thinks that’s the first time he has ever seen him laugh that much and that hard before. After too long for Trent and yet no time at all for Ted, Trent got his laughter under control. Trent moved his hand to his face, almost like he was going to wipe away tears, but remembered he was British at the last second and thus would never actually do such a thing. Shame; the image of Trent wiping away tears of laughter seemed like such a good one, too. Oh well, Ted thought, there was always next time.
“I came here with food and biscuits and this is what I get? Wow.”
“To be fair you didn’t really bring biscuits, you brought things to make biscuits.”
“Fine, Trent Crimm, Very Independent, I brought you a good meal and biscuits as a concept and you sass me. This man invites me into his home just to harass me….” Ted trailed off while grumbling loudly.
Trent surprises Ted by asking him if he can help bake. With the understanding that Trent self identifies as ‘atrocious’ in the kitchen.
“I highly doubt it’s anywhere near that bad.”
“I’m alright when it comes to cooking. I can make Perin and I meals, I make a few things to take with me when I visit my dad, I can even make the rare large family meal when a birthday rolls around. Baking on the other hand is another type of beast entirely. Sensitive isn’t the word, I suppose it is more deliberate to how you prepare it? With cooking I just mix things together and do my best to add things as is, but with baking it’s all ‘separate this but only in a way that is too difficult to accomplish’ or ‘add this but slowly but not too slowly’.”
“Word. I remember the first time I tried to bake a cake and that thing came out so dense you would think it had voted for Brexit. Luckily, I am a lover not a fighter and so ”
Trent just rolls his eyes and hides his smile in the mixing bowl. “You seem to have this in hand, so I think I will put my other talents to use and make us both something to drink. I’m guessing you want something that isn’t earl grey?”
"You know for a man who starts everyday by drinking his bisexualitea, I could never get into that stuff.” Ted joked.
There was a beat of quiet where they mixed ingredients or poured scotch into glasses. Trent sets the decanter down after he grabs and turns around to stare at the side of his head and goes “Wait. What?”
Ted does his best to Not Look at Trent but the kitchen isn’t big and it is just the two of them in the apartment. Ted puts on a smile and turns towards Trent. “Hm?”
Ted understands he deserves that look.
“What’s up?”
“....did you just…..come out? To me?”
Why is it that everytime he does this he feels physically ill? He hates this more than anything and he’s not even ashamed of it, not at all. But the idea of someone having an opinion other than ‘alright’ to his face makes him want to vomit.
“Yes?”
Trent looks like Ted just asked him to go rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic for all that he looks caught off guard by this new information. Ted isn’t panicking too much yet because he understands that people deserve a moment to absorb things, making a snap decision on someone is the opposite of what he wants and he can give him a moment in return.
Trent took a moment to look at Ted and then at everything around him that wasn’t Ted and then finally took a deep breath. “I apologize! I was doing the thing I tell Persphone to never do which is not only did I make an assumption on your sexuality based on preconceived notions or queerness, but was also being extremely heteronormative by using said notions to assume you must be heterosexual.
Now it was Ted’s turn to blink. “Is this how y’all feel when I talk at a press conference, because my God, was that a lot of things all at once.”
Ted laughs and says “Trent! It’s alright! I know how I present myself and while I appreciate and thank you for the work you do to make your daughter a better person- which you are nailing by the way- I’m okay.”
Trent opens his mouth to argue with him, but it seems he has strong opinions on this that do not align with Ted’s own. He doesn’t want to tell him how to think or feel and Trent seems to be in the same school of thought on that and so Ted decides to finish pressing in his biscuits and popping them into the oven. “Come on. Let’s take these drinks and mosey on over to that couch of yours and take a load off!”
Making sure the oven is set to the right temperature, Ted joins Trent on the couch and grabs his drink. “I set an alarm, so we just have to kick back and relax until then.”
Trent and Ted give each other a little cheers before taking a sip of their drinks. Ted normally prefers a pint over scotch, but even he can admit that this is some good stuff. Ted will blame the lateness of the hour and the drink when he feels himself growing a bit morose when he thinks this is probably something his dad would have liked. Trent must see the slight dimming in his smile because he starts to talk about his daughter the day out she had with his grandfather. He explains that his father wanted to spend more time with his granddaughter and so was taking her to a park so they could learn to skate together, but mostly just eating ice cream in the sun. He goes on talking about the adventures they had been having beforehand and the amount of new photos he had saved on his phone has almost certainly doubled in the last few hours alone.
Trent is very steady when he talks, but he gets quieter when he admits he snapped at his dad when he told him what happened. That he regrets that, when he was asked if he wanted to talk to Persephone, his initial reaction was to say no because he was so scared that he was worried about taking his anger out on her, but not him. That he doesn’t cry often, but he felt like he couldn’t breathe when he tried to explain why he was so upset to his father. He tells Ted about his mom. How she drove him to work one day when he was an intern and that was the last time he saw her. He can’t remember what they talked about, it wasn’t even an argument or emotionally significant; it was just a truly unmemorable, everyday conversation. How Trent didn’t want to hang up on his dad because he couldn’t risk this being their last conversation.
Trent admits he was overreacting, that he had worked through his grief with his mother years ago however hearing his daughter cry out to him that his father was too hurt to call him made him realize how far away she was. Trent winces a bit at that and tries his best to not look at Ted when he says that, but Ted doesn’t blame him. He has already had those thoughts before, even before Henry came down with a bad fever and called him crying in the middle of the night asking when he was getting home from work. He sat on the phone listening to Michelle comfort him after they explained he couldn’t come home just then, it wasn’t as simple as driving to and from the university this time, buddy, but he would if he could.
When the alarm goes off, Ted thinks it's a sign for both of them to stretch their legs and take a breather. Ted is all about expressing your emotions, but he was still raised in the midwest in the 70s and crying in front of someone is still something he can’t bring himself to do if he can avoid it.
Setting the pan on the counter on some oven mitts, Ted puts on some finishing touches of sprinkled brown sugar. When he glances at the bag, Ted chuckles to himself that while that might not be the standard recipe, he thinks it helps add some sweetness to the very savoy butter. It's thinking about this that Ted gets an idea.
Not wanting to give into the awkwardness of getting too personal with another person, Ted cuts up the biscuits (a little too quick, but he’s honestly so keyed up right now and doubts Trent cares about presentation) and plates them. He takes them over and warns him they're a bit hot so give them time.
Trent looks like he is considering showing Ted he isn’t the boss of him by grabbing at one anyway until he realizes he would be not only injuring the roof of his mouth for no reason, he would be doing it in front of a man who has no qualms about ratting him about to his daughter about it.
“Now that you have given me a good meal, biscuits both in theory and in practice” here Trent gives him a pointed side eye and Ted tips his imaginary hat in thanks “I can safely say that the day has not been a complete wash.”
“High praise!”
Trent chuckled to let him know what the night was in fact much more than that while deciding that he was willing to risk it for the biscuit and started on his plate. Ted just shakes his head at his antics and waits a bit longer, besides he always eats any bits that don’t fit into Rebecca’s boxes so he wasn’t too hard pressed to have them right away. He mostly made them for Trent to keep anyway with enough to share with his dad and Persephone when they came home tomorrow.
Looking at Trent eating his baking and thinking of his laugh earlier, of him telling him his fears while doing his best to keep Ted’s own in mind, Ted says “You know, my mom taught me that.”
“Hm?” Trent would never talk while eating, but he didn’t need to speak to let him know he’s listening, either.
While being utterly charmed by this man who won’t stop eating his cooking even though he is a proper Englishman, Ted explains “The brown sugar on top? Some people think it’s a bit too sweet for them, but in this specific instance, I think it is just too buttery for me without it.”
“Your mum is right, it’s much better than others I’ve had. I’m not normally a sweets fan myself, but in this case I am obsessed.”
Ted was being so normal about that and he couldn’t even let anyone know.
Clearing his throat, he explains how his parents both had similar approaches to food, which is to say questionable to many. “Yeah, I remember when my mom took a batch of these to my Nana’s house. My aunt has a field day with it. It was truly a house divided on it; one side said they liked it, the other said it was a slap in the face to Mamaw’s memory…”
“Wow, your family is clearly very passionate about food, I see.”
“Oooh, yeah!” Ted laughed “Ever since the whole ‘Pizza of ‘89’ debacle, my aunt Petunia was on a one woman crusade to prove that she was the superior chef of the family. That and my Nana once said my mom had the better garden and I think she took that a bit personally.”
Trent nodded his head like that is a normal thing for people to do and say, although part of him thinks it very well could be. Or that it's something that is so strange it sounds like something that could only happen in your family home and nowhere else.
“I know you only mention it because you want me to ask, but what pray tell is the “pizza debacle” was it?” Trent humors him.
Bless this man, he knows Ted so well. “Well, if you must know! It was the time my father brought pizza to a family gathering, my cousin's graduation although he didn’t seem to care one way or that other as any eighteen year old with money to burn and the idea of leaving home would. Now, as you will recall as I said it not even two minutes ago, my family are very serious about food. Not just the food that we make, but also the food that we get from restaurants, the groceries we buy, etcetera.
Now, we had a pizza place near us that my entire family agreed was our families go to spot for a slice. They were just a little place that was run by a family who lived in town and it had that classic ‘I’ve seen this place in every movie that needs a booth scene’ look to it. The thing that my family loved is that they only used real, authentic ingredients that they made in house and the thing that my father loved the most, and most of my family included, was the italian sausage.
Being a middle aged man as he was, my dad had to make it work if he wanted to eat that pizza. And the thing is? That stuff could kick your butt! It was very spicy and the heartburn it would cause you would leave you patting your chest for the next day and a half. So, being of sound mind and rationale, my dad would top his pizza with peanut butter.”
“No!”
“Yes!” Ted laughed.
Trent looked just as he always did when Ted told one of these things, invested and leaning slightly forward just to make sure he heard it all correctly. Ted thinks it must be a carry over from being a journalist, even though this wasn’t anything noteworthy to share with the world other than making this country dislike him more than they already do, Trent looked like he wanted to be jotting notes down.
“Before you cast judgment, let it be known there was a reason for it! See, the thing about peanut butter is that it’s a base. My dad had the thought one random night that he loved that pizza, but it was doin’ a real number on him after he ate it. So, he put a little peanut butter on it as a test; he liked peanut butter, he liked the pizza, he didn’t mind mixing other foods together so why not? And you know what? It worked!
Now, like I said, food is a hashtag big deal in my family and that pizza was sacred in all our households. My dad was never one to push his own ways onto others and he wasn’t going to force anyone to eat or even try it if they didn’t want to. But the fact he was going to do that to pizza in front of them was just a slap in the face.”
“Did he explain his reasoning? I’m sure if they heard they would forgive him, afterall it sounds as though he just wanted to eat the food you all clearly enjoyed without having to give up a critical part of it.”
In hindsight, it seems silly to Ted that he ever thought he wouldn’t ever end up falling for this man. He had never met Ted’s father and yet he was so worked up at the idea of these strangers not letting him do something that he enjoyed, even if that thing disgusted the man himself.
Ted just gives a laugh at his quiet, but passionate stance on what a man can do to his own pizza. “Ha ha, don’t worry! My dad was not a push over when it comes to his food. He explained his reasoning for it and most everyone got over it after that. I’m pretty sure that most of them were doing it to give him flack anyway, pretty much everyone scattered off with their pizza prizes and didn’t feel the need to watch a grown man eat.”
Trent just hummed to signify he was still listening. Ted took a moment to gather his resolve and take a bite of his own biscuit. He had half a mind to just give it to Trent considering the way he had already killed his own plate already. Trent probably hadn’t gotten up because Ted was talking which was part sweet and part anxiety inducing; however, Ted reasoned he was a man in his own home and could hear just fine, if he wasn’t moving it was to show he was paying him attention and that was more than enough in his book.
“The thing is… as an adult, I am not picky about trying new things! Like, you remember our first outing together! And so far, it has never failed me and yes I am very much including eating way too spicy food right out the gate, because it was ultimately delicious and I would never have learned how much I love mango lassi otherwise!
But… when I was younger. I tried to be accepting of trying new things, but something about this was just too much for me. My dad was always pushing me to eat new things and when it came to trying things my friends made or when we went to new restaurants, but this was just in my kid mind the thing that I was going to take a stance on. This wasn’t ‘new’ to me, it was just ruining a thing I already had for no reason.”
Ted goes to put his plate in the sink and gets Trent another biscuit. He can say what he wants, anyone who got to know Trent- the real Trent- knew this man had a sweet tooth a mile long and could put some biscuits away. When he returned he got a grateful smile from Trent, but an encouraging silence. If Ted wanted to keep talking Trent would let him, but he wouldn’t push him to speak.
“I was about fourteen at the time? Or thereabouts, but I remember that my dad was explaining his reasoning and people were making jokes and comments and they just kept asking me if I did it to and I wasn’t havin’ that. So for the rest of the party I made sure to keep my plate close like I thought the man would secret service his way behind me and deface my pizza when I wasn’t looking.”
Ted tries to chuckle, but he just ends up wincing more than anything. He clears his throat and tries again. “Looking back I don’t think he minded nearly as much as I made it out to be. You know how it is, that patience that comes from being a parent who once upon a time was a teen once. He never pushed me to try it, just offered me some everytime he had it just in case I changed my mind. It wasn’t until years later that I actually even tried it.”
He must pause longer than he thinks because Trent sets his plate on the table and puts his hand on his arm. He’s leaning down to be in his eyeline with the coffee table and gives his arm a little squeeze. “Ted.”
“No. No, it’s… if it’s alright, I want to tell you? If that’s okay.”
Trent just smiles at him and says “I just wanted to tell you you don’t have to rush. I always listen when you speak, Ted, and tonight is no different. Let the words come to you when they’re ready, alright? Trust me on that, wordsmith to wordsmith.”
Damn you, Trent Crimm, Ted thinks, how am I expected to not cry at that?
Ted doesn’t cry, but he does laugh it off while he brushes at his eyes, just in case, but the fact that Trent was laughing too actually made him feel better. It wasn’t a mean laugh, just that sound people make that signified they understood what you were feeling, could relate to the whirlwind of emotions that come with living a life. There wasn’t any judgment or curiosity in Trent’s eyes, just a simple but all encompassing understanding and acceptance.
Ted clears his throat and laughs a bit more to get all of it out of his system. He feels a bit lighter now that he’s gotten that out of him, he thinks. Besides, he never really talks about what happened with his dad to other people, but Trent was a journalist. While it isn’t exactly public information, it isn’t private either. He remembers back home when someone tried to bring up his dad in an interview; he had never seen so many strangers turn on a dime for a man that just moments ago was considered acceptable target practice. He knows that they themselves had no issues with pressing Ted for personal information that had nothing to do with football (his kind back in the states, not the "real one" as Dani calls it), but factoids about his home life and dating history that the public loved to read about more than any sport.
"Ehm! Hm. Like I said, it wasn't until years later that I actually tried it. It was on the anniversary. Not anything thematic like a year or anything, it was just a few years later I honestly couldn't tell you how many without just purely guessing. It wasn't even planned! I was just walking around town doing a sort of wander around and I saw the pizza place. Still open, still family owned and everything! I still go there when I'm back home, talk to them and catch up when I can."
"I suppose they have a photo of you hanging up somewhere? Local celebrity corner for professional coaches?" Trent teased.
"I'll have you know I do have a photo hanging up on that wall and it was earned, thank you so very much! I worked there when I was in high school and my freshman year of college before I moved into a dorm up at Wichita State."
Ted elaborated when he saw Trent's look of mild curiosity. It wasn’t a question he would normally answer and the only reason he does now is because it’s a question Trent would never ask. "I didn't do so hot leaving home thay first year. Mom just kept driving me back and forth that first year so I could stay home with her. But no, yeah! I worked there for a few years and they took photos every time there was a staff change or special occasion in someone's life, so that you really felt like you were a part of the family."
Trent hummed and thoughtfully rubbed his chin and out loud pondered "Pray tell, did young Ted get free pizza through this endeavor?"
"Trent, I was like 16. Yeah. There was free pizza."
Trent busts out laughing at the deadpan delivery and Ted soon follows. If he was being fully honest, he didn't think he had felt this happy in a long time. Laughed so genuinely while talking about such a sad topic. Normally when his dad was brought up, even by himself, he was a blubbering mess. But with Trent it was like a balm on his soul, a nice weighted blanket to keep.him comfy cozy. He could have his head in the clouds and feet on the ground with Trent and he liked to think (hoped, prayed, wanted) that Trent felt at least a fraction of what he did when they were together.
Once they both gathered their breaths, Trent apologized. "I'm so sorry Ted, I don't know why that tickled me so much."
Tes was right, the image of Trent wiping away tears of laughter was a sight to behold. Tears of laughter, smiling eyes, his mouth curved up into that soft smirk of his; Trent Crimm could make grown man weep looking like that.
"I kind of want to kiss you. Is that weird? Is that ok?"
He isn't sure who is more shocked by Ted's request, Trent or himself. Either way, it was out there. Luckily the universe seemed to have decided that one Trent Crimm, Independent and one Ted Lasso from America were made for each other because before Ted could spiral on to his own thoughts or even blink, Trent just says "I would like that very much."
Trent's smile tasted like shortbread.
—-------------
After one kiss turns into two that turns into a few more, Trent pulls back. They both just smile and breathe for a few seconds, enjoying existing in each other's space for a little while. With a look that Ted couldn't quite describe, not coy although a bit teasing, demure but to the left, Trent looks at Ted through his eyelashes by way of focusing more on the ground than on him says "You know, don't think I won't hear the rest of the story just because I have a severe fondness for you."
Ted laughs because that's the man he knows. Who would Trent Crimm even be if he ever let a story go? "You're the one who keeps derailing this thought train, sir! Don't throw stones in glass train stations, Trent, that’s dangerous!"
Trent just laughs and moves closer to him. He leans and moves in such a way that his arm is forced to adjust to be comfortable and low and behold, shoulders! Trent tucks his feet up under himself and positions himself to be more laying on him than next to him.
"Comfortable? God, you sit like a cat who got the cream and was also written by Oscar Wilde that cannot be comfortable, I refuse to accept this as a thing you do."
Trent just smugly looks up at Ted's face without moving a single inch. "Well, if someone is going to keep me up all night with sweets and drinks, I might as well embrace the aesthetic culture Oscar worked so hard to cultivate."
"You know, Oscar Wilde said his mother read him Leaves of Grass when he was younger and years later he pushed to meet Walt Whitman because he was so moved by it. I never really got into Wilde myself- not bad just not for me- but hearing how much he loved Whitman really opened my eyes as a kid to the idea of two very different people being inspired by the same thing, you know? I always thought how cool it was to have the same source of inspiration, but such different outcomes. Don't get me wrong, Whiteman is my boy. I just think ultimately Wilde is, out of the two of them, the one I relate to the most as a person. I think I'm mostly just still mad about Dorian Grey if I'm being perfectly honest. Basil Hallward deserved better and I get that's the whole point, but still I'm just sayin'."
Ted moved himself to get a bit more comfortable and looked at Trent when he was situated. Trent was staring at him wide eyed, unblinking. "I think that is the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me."
To say his eyebrows climbed his face is like saying that Everst was a decent sized hill, meaning, it is a bit of an understatement. While Ted wanted nothing more than to stay and analyze everything about that sentence, he looked at the clock and saw the time. He may not be old, but making any decisions at 2am was never a good one in his opinion. Both his daughter and dad would be coming back here tomorrow also and when it comes to kids it's a safe bet that it will be between the hours of really freaking early or so late that you’ve moved into “very late dinner” territory. Besides, Ted didn’t want to rush this and from the look on Trent’s face he feels the same. They both want this to last and so, after cleaning up the mess they had made and making sure all biscuits were packaged in the most eye pleasing to a four year old way they could be, Ted was off.
Trent walked him to his door and kissed him goodnight. He wasn’t sure if Trent was watching him walk down the street so he didn’t skip. It would have been too much with the whistling anyway, no need to brag to the world you're in love after all. Even if he really, really wanted to. Ted might have skipped a bit, but that was neither here nor there.
—--------
Making the best of a day off, Ted has a cheeky little idea he would like to spring on Trent. While he likes the idea of surprises, he himself is not a fan of a complete surprise and so he texts Trent asking him what his plans for the day are. Ted will blame waking up in a good mood on his jumping the gun on texting right away, but in his defense Trent shouldn’t make him so happy that he can’t wait until a respectable noon to text, so there. Besides, it’s 11am which is noon if you're in Sweden. Ok, maybe lack of sleep is getting to him, but he can’t help it!
Yesterday Ternt had shared a lot with him and Ted was nothing if not a man who returned a kindness. Also, Trent wanted to hear the rest of the story and everyone knows that the best way to learn is with visual aids. When Trent texted him back that his dad has commandeered his daughter for another day and they would be back “sometimes late afternoon most likely” and would be free all day and in need of a distraction, Ted set his plan in motion.
Luckily, finding peanut butter was not too difficult (a new one, he wants Trent to keep liking him and bringing his own counter PB would probably undo all of his efforts) and ordering his pizza was simple enough; and with that, he was off.
Trent saved him from trying to be too cool and/or suave on his doorstep and spilling all his delicious food on the ground by answering the door after his first knock. Trent seemed to feel as embarrassed about his door answering speed as Ted felt trying to lean on a handrail while holding a large sized pizza with a jar of peanut butter on top. When he was trying to stand up without dropping anything and Trent jerked forward and then back, unsure if he should help or not, they both just looked at each other and softly chuckled. It felt almost like relief that the things they felt and said last night weren't just built from the quiet safety of night, but were just as real in the daytime.
Trent presented the open door with a slight flourish and Ted returned it with a small bow. After setting everything on the counter, Ted turned to Trent and said “So! While I know it may be customary for some people to wait the allotted 2-3 days before messaging a would be paramour, however I think that-”
“We're both in our forties and also I don’t think anyone actually does that anymore?” Trent finished.
“I was going to say I was too besmitten with you to wait any longer, but alright, suck the fun out of everything.”
“I don’t think ‘besmitten’ is a word.”
“Anything can be anything if you aren’t a coward about it.” Ted lifted his nose in the air to add an extra loftiness to his statement.
Trent softly laughs while getting down to plates and some glasses. “Fair enough, I suppose.”
“Indubitably.”
Trent doesn’t dignify that with a response and Ted is thankful. One, because he deserves that look and two, Ted thinks if he tries that ‘posh accent’ again, Trent might actually kill him in real life. Whatever, Trent was charmed, Ted knows he was.
Ted and Trent set up at the table this time because they were mature grown ups who ate at the table like the adults they were. Also, they both wordlessly agreed having to sit upright the entire meal to stay seated in the barstool was not in the cards for today.
It is only as Ted looks at the two plates and the peanut butter together on the table does Ted really feel the lackluster sleep from last night catch up with him. He was so excited to have pizza with Ted while telling this story, but now he feels silly. And not the fun kind of silly, but the kind of silly that makes his ears all warm and shove his face into his mom's shoulder so she can hide him away from the world for just a second.
While Ted busies himself by getting the world’s most stubborn piece of lint off his pant leg, Trent grabs the jar and puts a small amount of peanut butter on the end of his slice. Ted looks up in time to see him take a bite and for a moment feels a brief thing of panic. “Wait, no- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean, you didn’t have to-”
“You know” Trent causally interrupts after swallowing his small bite, “it’s actually not that bad?”
“....What?”
Trent just gives him his patented ‘charmed’ look and after taking a drink of water elaborates. “The pizza. It’s actually not that bad? When I was younger and had my ‘punk’ phase, I tried so badly to act like an American, you know? I really felt the best way to stick it to the monarchy and also my parents was to act like I was so different from them, which included trying to do everything unlike every other Brit I knew.
Not just my style, although I will admit ended up just being more Sex Pistols than Bruce Springsteen than I was willing to acknowledge, but also my eating habits. Now, living in a small village, I mostly just ate candies and things from over in the states, little things they sold in shops here that made me feel cooler than I was. This would also mean I ate a regular amount of hamburgers when we went out to restaurants and also ate peanut butter at home.”
“No!” Ted laughed.
“It’s true! My father hated it! ‘It looks like baby poo! Do you enjoy eating baby poo?’ My mum enjoyed that far too much in my opinion. Looking back, she clearly had had similar thoughts on the whole peanut butter debacle and yet knew that I would one day be embarrassed by this. She also loved yelling ‘you’re poo is ready!’ whenever she made me a sandwich for when I lost myself in my writing.”
“Of course she did!” Ted struggled to get out.
Trent rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes. Comedians, all of you. My point, Ted, is that this isn’t the first time I’ve tried peanut butter (“baby poo” Ted whispered) quiet you. The point is that I have tried it before and honestly, your father was correct. I can already tell it's helping with the acid. I can safely say, that man knew what he was on about.”
Ted did his best to act unaffected by this by putting a bit on his own slice and taking a healthier bite. Ted was going to thank Trent for trying it only to look up to him adding a small amount to the whole thing. Ted’s face must have shown his surprise because Trent just shrugged and said “What? I told you, it really does help with the acid. Besides, I said I ate it when I was younger, I never said I didn’t enjoy it.”
Ted is very rarely left speechless at things, but this was one of the most genuine ones he had recently experienced. “You know you don’t… I mean! I appreciate it! Not appreciate, well I just meant-”
“Ted.” Trent cut in not unkindly, “I told you. I actually don’t mind it. I wouldn’t eat it if I hated it. While my father may like to joke I am still his bambino, I am in fact in my 40s and this is a solution to how to eat things that will cause me significant discomfort later tonight and, if we are both in a self aware mood, a good part of tomorrow.”
Ted nodded his head in a way that meant ‘yeah, I’m about ten years into needing peanut butter on way too many things myself’. He was starting to realize that, while he and Michelle had clicked when he was younger, it was different in a good way to share things with his partner that would have embarrassed his younger self for being too vulnerable and open. Not to say he would have changed a single thing with Michelle- it got him Henry and so he will truly be thankful everyday for her. Not just because of him, but Michelle was an amazing girlfriend and wife. He thinks both of them agree it was a ‘met too soon’ situation with them and he’s starting to be okay with that. However, Trent was, he didn’t even have a way to describe him other than ‘this is it’.
Sitting here, watching this man eat his pizza, occasionally scraping off some peanut butter off the top of his pizza(there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, Ted understands and respects him for that), does Ted realize he is excited to do this again with him. Not just the pizza or even necessarily new things. Ted quickly runs through a list in his head of all of the things that he would get tired of quickly like taxes, going to get a vehicle registered, when you miss the train and have to wait for a bit for the next one, really anything that would require sitting around and not being able to do anything and honestly? All of them sound like they would be made better by having Trent sit next to him.
It’s only when he thinks about, years from now, them all sitting down to have pizza to remember his father- him, Trent, Persephone, Trent’s dad, Michelle, Henry- does he have a moment of pause. He is afraid. All his life he has had some fear, some anxiety over everything little thing he has ever done. Was it too much, not enough, was it the right call? But the thought of all of them being one big family was something that felt inevitable to him. For all that he could be worried about anything and everything, it was something that would happen and for some reason that made him feel a bit better. Unlike the fear of things that you have to face, things you couldn’t fight, the idea that he would have a family who he knew from personal experience would get along swimmingly, made him so happy it hurt a little.
Looking at Trent who had finished his plate and seemed to be considering if he was hungry enough to go for more, Ted thinks there is no way for him to articulate any of these things without sounding like (more) of a mad man. Although once again, Ted thinks he is looking forward to a time in the future when they will know each other well enough to just say things. It feels nice. Scary in a good way.
“You know” Trent starts, “while I hate to admit it, I really do enjoy it like this.”
Ted is taken out of his own musing with laughter. “”Hate to-!? Sir!!”
Rolling his eyes with what Ted recognizes as Trent’s affectionate eye roll (as opposed to his one for Earnie Lounds, the turkey, which is so scathing even Ted winces out of misplaced sympathy at the sight of it) Trent gives a small breath of air that one could reasonable call a huff. “I just meant that, even you warned me off of it! I would guess because you understand that at face value, it is a bit odd!”
“Well, you know what they say about taking things at face value.”
“And what is that, Ted?”
“....I have nothing, I don’t know. It’s very rude?”
They both just stare at each other for a beat before they burst out into stomach clutching laughter.
“What!? I couldn’t think of anything, okay! I was really hoping it would come to me!”
“‘You were hoping’- you said it! You were the one who-literally no one makes you speak this way, you understand-” Trent struggles to get out through his peals of giggles.
“I am sorry! I am tired and trying my best! I just don’t understand how a man who understands the superiority of peanut butter on pizza would say such blasphemous things! Pizza with peanut butter is a delicious treat that is good for people who have heartburn, but refuse to give up their ‘Fan of Delicious Flavors’ club jackets and this is a hill I will not die on, but simply live on rent free on for the rest of my life because I am right!”
Trent just starts to laugh even harder which causes Ted to follow suit.
“Alright, alright! I apologize for saying such things about what is clearly the paragon of meals. Will you ever forgive me for besmirching the good name of your absolute Frankenstein of a meal?”
“You’re lucky I loved that book so much, good sir.”
Trent just hums.
Ted makes a production of standing up and pacing a bit, hand on his chin for the full effect. “I mean, Trent, what you’ve said really hurt me real bad. Cut me deep! I’m not sure I will be able to fully recover, you know, go back to being the man I once was after that.”
Trent stands and wraps his arms around Ted’s waist. Speaking more into Ted’s shoulder than not, Trent says “I did not realize it would be so devastating to you. I don’t know if I could ever truly make it up to you, when you put it like that.”
Ted goes to put his hands on Trent’s, but hesitates. If felt odd, he knows it's some heteronormative BS, but Ted has never been the soft one. Yes, he has usually been the more sensitive one, but he also has always had the deeper voice, the bigger hands, arms, shoulders; he’s never had someone wrap their arms around him like this.
To show they were made for each other, Trent goes on to say “I guess I’ll just have to stick around to try my best to make it up to you.”
Ted breathes more than says “yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Almost like a habit, an instinct, Ted puts his hands on Trent’s arms. He isn’t sure who started it, but he notices that they are rocking back and forth. More of a half hearted dance than a reassurance and a scene of his mom and dad in the kitchen late at night when he was younger plays in his mind. Just his dad cleaning the dishes while his mom was leaning on his back, swaying to a song she was struggling to hum to keep them awake. He can’t remember why exactly they had stayed awake, but he remembers being barely nine and thinking that staying awake when you were so clearly tired meant it was true love.
“Hey, Trent? This is gonna sound a bit stupid, but… if I needed to stay awake, for whatever reason, would you stay awake with me?”
“Of course.” Trent answers with zero hesitation, “would you?”
Ted, not having really expected him to answer so quickly, just says “Oh! Yeah, of course!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Trent just hums again and continues to sway with him. Ted breaks the silence by saying, “You know, it might take awhile to make up for those cutting remarks you made. Days, months. Years, even!”
Trent just calmly says “well, I should say so. If it didn’t, it would make you seem overly dramatic.”
“Can’t have that.”
“You seem nothing if not dedicated to The Bit, so I have full faith in you to do your due diligence and make sure that I have repented for any and all sins against all handheld Italian foods.”
Ted leans his head back so that their temples are resting together while he laughs. Part of him wishes others knew how silly Trent really was, but another part of him is glad to be of the select few who get to experience it. Besides, Trent never really hid it that well. He would engage with him in the press room, even giving a little shimmy at one of his clever musical references, would tell everyone it was his daughter's birthday because he loved his daughter more than he disliked others. His mom would probably say that yes, anyone could see it, but Ted chose to pay attention and that was the key difference.
Ted turns in Trent’s arms and says “I like you.”
Trent’s eyes light up when he says, “oh? I hadn’t noticed.”
Ted just looks at him with equal amounts of mirth and seriousness. “Yes, I do. I am willing to spend just as much time to prove it to you. If you would like.”
Trent opens his mouth, but closes it. He looks all over Ted’s face and must see something. Something that Ted doesn’t know how to say, but wants to so badly it’s as plain as day on his face, second only to his mustache. Matching Ted’s same tone, he says “I would very much like that, yes.”
Smiling so hard it hurts a little, Ted says “Cool.”
And then Ted kisses him. He can feel Trent’s body shake with gentle laughter, but it feels good. It feels like a kind laugh, one that shows that Trent isn’t being cruel, but is in fact just a man in love with a weirdo who says things like ‘cool’ after implying they want to spend their lives together.
Imagining a life where he is loved by Trent and surrounded by people who love and support him, Ted smiles so hard it hurts and he doesn’t stop. It makes kissing a bit hard, but Ted has never been one to back down from a challenge and he isn’t going to start now.
They continue to kiss while swaying to music only they can hear while holding each other in their arms. Ted thinks he could get used to being in love again. In fact, he was really looking forward to it.