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“Taehyun-ah,” Beomgyu said, picking at the label on his juice bottle, “can I ask you a question?”
Taehyun thought this was probably a sign he should stop eating his lunch and go take a nap before evening practice instead. There was absolutely no way whatever Beomgyu wanted to ask was something Taehyun wanted to answer, because Beomgyu being polite and a little shy could only mean trouble. Unfortunately, he also knew Beomgyu wouldn’t take a hint, so he might as well get it over with.
“Mm. Sure, hyung.” He put down his chopsticks, because he refused to die eating ramyeon. “What’s wrong?”
Beomgyu hesitated, glancing at Taehyun for a second before looking away. All the hair on the back of Taehyun’s neck stood on end.
“So,” Beomgyu started, still not making eye contact. “Yeonjun-hyung and Changbin-hyung…”
He trailed off. Taehyun hummed questioningly, prompting Beomgyu to continue.
“Do you think they’ve—” Beomgyu ripped the entire label off his juice, “—you know.”
Taehyun raised his eyebrows. “Do I think they’ve…?”
“Um, you know, the walls are kind of thin. But it’s hard to tell if—not that I’m listening on purpose.” A subtle blush filled the high points of Beomgyu’s cheeks. It was cute; he looked younger, way more innocent than he actually was. MOA would probably kill for a photo. “I’m just curious, because I guess I don’t really get how it’s… enjoyable? I mean, guys always seem like they’re enjoying it in—um.”
The blush darkened, spreading across his nose and down his neck. Taehyun blinked and employed all his media training to keep his face perfectly neutral.
There were a number of things Taehyun wanted to say. Specifically, he wanted to clarify what it was Beomgyu wanted to know, because Taehyun was fairly certain his actual question was less about Yeonjun and Changbin’s relationship and more about whether gay men actually enjoyed anal sex. Which then led to a number of necessary follow-up questions: had Beomgyu actually watched gay porn? How much? And if he wasn’t asking about Yeonjun and Changbin, who was he really asking about?
Taehyun did not let his mind wander down that path. If he thought too deeply about it, he wouldn’t be able to stand up from the table.
“Are you seriously asking, while I am trying to eat lunch, whether or not Yeonjun-hyung and Changbin-hyung have had anal sex or not?”
Beomgyu twitched and grimaced. “I mean, when you put it that way,” he started, then paused, shaking his head. His cheeks were still bright red. “Not—I guess not them specifically, but, you know, in general. I mean, girls complain about guys wanting to do that, right?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Taehyun deadpanned, which made Beomgyu crack a half-smile, at least.
“Well, they do. So I guess I just wasn’t sure…” He trailed off again and huffed out a sigh. He still wouldn’t look Taehyun in the eye, and maybe that—this uncharacteristic shyness in someone who had long forgotten shame around the group—was the reason Taehyun started talking before actually thinking his words through.
“Hyung,” he said, “if you wanted me to fuck you, you could have just asked.”
Now Beomgyu looked at him, eyes perfect circles of surprise as he reflexively tossed his empty juice bottle up in the air. It sailed behind him and bounced loudly on the floor before rolling under the table.
“That’s not—I wasn’t asking that!” Beomgyu blushed a deeper shade of red. Taehyun tracked its progress down his neck and raised one eyebrow, channeling Yeonjun’s most disdainful expression. “I just—it’s not that! Okay?” He threw himself to his feet, ducked under the table to grab the bottle, slammed it into the recycling, and turned to storm out.
At the hallway, he paused and looked back, pointing at Taehyun. “That’s not what this was about!” he repeated, even though his blush hadn’t faded at all. Taehyun rested his chin on his hand; when it was clear Beomgyu wouldn’t get any other response, he stomped off down to his room and slammed the door.
Alone, Taehyun pushed his now cold bowl of ramyeon farther away before laying his head gently down on the table.
Well, he thought, that should be the end of that.
Over the next week, Taehyun could almost pretend the conversation hadn’t happened at all. Practices were normal, filming was normal, even group dinner was normal, for a given value of normal.
He could almost pretend, except that occasionally, Beomgyu would make eye contact with him for a moment before quickly looking away. The back of his neck would be pink, just visible through the fall of his hair, and Taehyun would instantly flash back to that conversation in the kitchen. It was… unproductive, to put it mildly. Taehyun had spent the entirety of his teenage years surrounded by attractive boys, and it seemed unfair that in less than ten minutes, Beomgyu could ruin his professionalism.
Instead of worrying about it further, Taehyun locked himself in a practice room. Hiding away with music was safer than going to the gym, even if lifting until he couldn’t stay standing sounded like a great distraction. Still, he fell into the rhythm of it easily enough, warming up his voice with scales and runs, scribbling down random ideas for lyrics or melodies even though he had no idea if they’d see the light of day.
He was listening back to a cover, wondering if it was worth sharing with MOA or not, when someone knocked on the studio door. Taehyun checked his phone to see if he’d missed any messages, but no one had warned him they’d be coming to find him or needed him back at the dorm. The knock came again. Taehyun paused the music, sighed, and stood up to open it.
“Hey,” Beomgyu said, hands shoved in his pockets. His hair was freshly trimmed, no longer hiding his eyes. “You busy?”
For some reason, the idea that Beomgyu would be knocking hadn’t even entered his mind. He blinked stupidly for a second, just staring in surprise, before the question actually sunk in.
Taehyun could tell Beomgyu to go away. He probably should. Instead, he stepped back to let Beomgyu into the small practice room. With both of them inside, the door now shut, the room felt way too small. Beomgyu bounced a little as he shuffled over to the keyboard. He tapped a few of the keys absently, then turned around and shoved his hands into his pockets. Even for Beomgyu, this amount of fidgeting in such a short amount of time was excessive.
“So?” Taehyun asked, crossing his arms. He stood up a little straighter in contrast to the slouch in Beomgyu’s shoulders. “What is it this time?”
Beomgyu winced, though it was gone fast enough Taehyun could almost pretend it hadn’t happened. “Sorry, you’re working, I shouldn’t have—“
“Hyung, it’s fine.” Taehyun sighed, suddenly exhausted, and sat back down in his chair. “You’re already here. Just tell me what it is.”
“You said I just had to ask,” Beomgyu said in a rush. “Did you mean it?”
Despite the fact that Taehyun had been thinking about their conversation on and off for days, it still took a moment to process exactly what Beomgyu meant. When it clicked, Taehyun’s face went warm and his eyes widened. “You want me to…?”
“Not—not all the way.” Beomgyu’s face was red; Taehyun assumed they matched. “I tried myself but it wasn’t great until I thought about—it still wasn’t what it could be, though.”
Taehyun wasn’t sure which part of that broken sentence was worse. “You thought about me?”
“Um, kind of,” Beomgyu said, but he kept talking instead of explaining that further. “I guess I’m just curious, and—it seemed like you know what to do. Have you ever…?”
Fumbling experiments with a friend weren’t a wealth of experience, but Taehyun figured that was still better than nothing. “Ah, a little. Not like we’ve really had a chance…”
“Exactly!” Beomgyu agreed, leaning forward. He paused, then added in a quiet voice: “Honestly, Taehyun-ah. I don’t know who else to ask.”
There was something in the way Beomgyu said it that made Taehyun hesitate. He’d been in a similar position once. Not in terms of sex specifically, but in terms of not understanding himself and not having anyone to go to for advice. Thirteen and confused, he’d turned to the internet. Eventually, he had Yeonjun to help guide him. Wanting something different than you expected you’d want—different than society told you to want—was always hard. And he knew Yeonjun would say this wasn’t the same thing as being scared and young and gay, that Beomgyu could probably find girls to try this stuff with, but even so—
Taehyun cleared his throat. “Hyung,” he said, carefully. “How much have you tried? Not with girls,” he added quickly. “I know too much about your ex.”
Beomgyu laughed, but it was a little sheepish. “We went to art school together. You know how it was.” He shrugged. “Kissing is just kissing, right?”
Honestly, that was more than Taehyun expected. Also, he didn’t think that was how it worked, but he didn’t want to argue with Beomgyu about it. “I guess I just—it seems like kind of a big jump from kissing to—“ He broke off, not wanting to verbalize my dick in your ass, because then he wouldn’t be able to have this conversation at all.
“We can… start slow?” Beomgyu offered, the shyness returning, and maybe it didn’t matter if Taehyun didn’t put it into words. Maybe he’d die because of the hesitant interest on Beomgyu’s face, the way he kept looking at Taehyun’s mouth like Beomgyu wanted to kiss him. It was probably a calculated move. It worked better than Taehyun wished it did.
“We should talk about this more,” Taehyun said, but Beomgyu smiled brightly, well aware he’d won. He stepped closer to stand between Taehyun’s spread legs. “This isn’t us hooking up, okay? I’m just helping you figure some stuff out, and then we’ll stop.”
“Sure,” Beomgyu said, putting his hands on Taehyun’s shoulders. “I’m still gonna kiss you though.”
“You’re so annoying,” Taehyun managed before Beomgyu braced himself and leaned down to press their mouths together. Beomgyu’s lips were a little chapped—he never listened to their stylists—but warm and firm, and one of his hands slid from Taehyun’s shoulder to the side of his neck. His fingers were cold. Taehyun shivered, grabbing the front of Beomgyu’s shirt to pull him closer.
As if that was the permission he’d been waiting for, Beomgyu crawled onto Taehyun’s lap and wrapped his arms around Taehyun’s shoulders. The chair creaked ominously but they didn’t fall over backwards, not even when Taehyun jumped like an idiot at the feeling of Beomgyu’s tongue against his lower lip.
“I know you’ve kissed people before,” Beomgyu murmured, obviously amused, “so why are you freaking out?”
Taehyun huffed, frowning cross-eyed up at Beomgyu, too close to look at him properly. “I’ve never kissed you. I’m allowed to find this a little weird.”
Beomgyu grinned. “Why? I’m a great kisser.” He closed the small distance and kissed Taehyun again, a series of pecks before Taehyun reached up to grab at Beomgyu’s hair and hold him in place. He tugged, not too hard, just enough to get Beomgyu to angle his head properly while Taehyun got his tongue into Beomgyu’s mouth, and the soft moan he got in response went directly to Taehyun’s dick.
Ugh. It wasn’t fair. He was going to jack off in the bathroom so much more than usual.
Taehyun pulled back, tightening his grip to keep Beomgyu from following after him. “I’m not fucking you in the practice room.”
Beomgyu hummed, tilting his head back into Taehyun’s hold, baring his neck. “I guess that’s fair,” he said, breathless, a little raspy, like when they spent too long in vocal lessons. “Everyone’s at the dorm, though.”
It took an immense amount of willpower to untangle his hand from Beomgyu’s hair and nudge at his hips until he slid off Taehyun’s lap. “Then we’ll plan for a day when they’re not around. Okay?”
For a second, Taehyun thought Beomgyu would disagree, but then he just shrugged. “Sounds good.” He stepped around Taehyun’s chair and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder like they hadn’t just been making out. “Don’t miss dinner. Yeonjun-hyung is cooking,” he said, and then Taehyun heard the door click open. “He’ll be sad if you’re not there.”
Taehyun dropped his head back to stare up at the ceiling, wondering how his life had spiraled so far out of control. “I’ll be there,” he said. “Someone has to help hyung clean up.”
Beomgyu laughed but didn’t deny it, and then the door closed behind him.
Two weeks later, when Soobin was filming and Hyuka was recording and Yeonjun made a needlessly dramatic, cryptic remark about spending the afternoon out of the house (by which he meant he was going to meet up with his boyfriend. Taehyun wasn’t an idiot, and he told Yeonjun to say hi to Changbin for him), they were finally able to get enough time alone to do… whatever it was they were doing.
“So,” Beomgyu said, looking at the bottle of lube he held in one hand, the box of condoms in the other, and then back up at Taehyun. “What’s your plan?”
They were sitting across from each other on Beomgyu’s bed, legs crossed. Taehyun felt weirdly overdressed in joggers and a t-shirt, given that Beomgyu was already stripped down to a pair of basketball shorts. He looked thin, like he hadn’t been eating enough.
Taehyun frowned. “Why did I have to make a plan? You were the one who wanted this.”
Of course he had a plan. Taehyun had come up with multiple plans depending on Beomgyu’s reactions to every single thing they tried, whether it progressed beyond kissing or not. He was the one who’d ordered extra supplies online so they wouldn’t use up any from the stash Yeonjun had built up in one of the bathroom drawers and called “communal,” which was horrifying on multiple levels. He was the one who actually planned things, unlike Beomgyu, who was happy to follow his terrible instincts. Which was how they’d ended up in this situation in the first place.
“Taehyun-ah, of course you have a plan,” Beomgyu said, beaming. Taehyun had long grown used to Beomgyu’s good looks, but in this new context, his smile was dazzling. “I didn’t even think about getting my own lube. I mean, that’s what the stuff in the bathroom is for, right?”
Taehyun rubbed his forehead and sighed, which just made Beomgyu laugh. “Do you want everyone to find out what we’re doing? You can explain it to Soobin-hyung.”
Beomgyu kept giggling as he dropped the lube and condoms on the bed and reached for Taehyun. His fingers twisted in Taehyun’s shirt, tugging until Taehyun let himself be pulled close, then down, hovering above Beomgyu on the bed. Like this, Taehyun could feel the warmth radiating off Beomgyu’s skin.
“So?” Beomgyu asked again. Taehyun still couldn’t tell if Beomgyu was seducing him on purpose. “Tell me.”
“We’re working up to it,” Taehyun said. “What if you don’t get hard?”
Beomgyu rolled his eyes. “Now you’re overthinking it.” Taehyun expected him to say more, but instead Beomgyu simply put his hands on Taehyun’s face and pulled him down for a kiss.
The worst part was that Beomgyu really was good at kissing. He built up slowly, sliding his hand through Taehyun’s hair, tracing the shell of his ear and the line of his jaw with gentle fingers. When not taking specific body parts into account, Beomgyu had more experience and it showed, but Taehyun had always been a quick learner. Plus, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the way Beomgyu had moaned, perched on his lap, practically begging Taehyun to pull his hair more. Taehyun really wanted to hear that sound again.
He moved his hands to Beomgyu’s hips and pressed his fingers into bone. When Beomgyu immediately tried to push off the mattress, Taehyun smirked and bit at Beomgyu’s bottom lip, pressing down harder to hold him in place. It earned him the same soft moan as last time, and Taehyun wondered if Beomgyu’s ex had ever done this for him. Taehyun had met her a couple times at school; she’d been nice. A little bossy. Taehyun could imagine her telling Beomgyu what to do.
Taehyun slid his hands down Beomgyu’s thighs, then back up his shorts, touching delicate skin, spreading Beomgyu’s legs so he could settle more comfortably between them. They kissed slowly, like they weren’t on a time limit, like Taehyun was kissing Beomgyu for fun rather than whatever weird scenario this actually was. With his fingers pressed to the inside of Beomgyu’s thighs and Beomgyu’s arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, Taehyun could almost believe it.
He shifted his hands again, along the top of Beomgyu’s thighs and then around, fingers skimming up from his thigh to ass, and—
“Oh,” Taehyun said, pulling back from the kiss to look down. He pushed up Beomgyu’s shorts enough to confirm with his eyes what his hands had felt, which was that Beomgyu didn’t even have briefs on. It hadn’t been obvious when he’d walked in to see Beomgyu sitting on his bed, but maybe he should’ve expected it.
“There wasn’t really a point,” Beomgyu said. He was breathing just a little more heavily than usual, that flush Taehyun had seen hints of spreading from his face down his neck and chest. Taehyun was half-hard in his pants, and he was grateful Beomgyu was very obviously hard too. “You can take my shorts off,” Beomgyu added, amused, breaking Taehyun out of his trance. “Promise I won’t get mad.”
Taehyun pinched him, because it was what he deserved, then smirked when Beomgyu’s whole body jerked and he had to dodge Beomgyu’s flailing knee. Based on the way Beomgyu flushed even further, he was probably right about enjoying what they were about to do. Taehyun was pretty sure getting pinched on the ass wouldn’t do it for someone if they weren’t into it.
“It’s better when you wait, hyung.” Taehyun slid his hands up further, the tips of his fingers sliding just along Beomgyu’s crease, teasing. When Beomgyu shivered, Taehyun smiled more, leaning down to kiss the side of his neck. “You probably just stuck a finger in. No wonder it wasn’t any good.”
Beomgyu arched his back and wrapped his leg around Taehyun’s hip. For someone who hadn’t done this before, he wasn’t very shy. “Ah, see?” he said, gasping when Taehyun dragged his teeth across his skin. “That’s why I need your help, Taehyun-ah.”
It was cheesy and definitely not true; Taehyun’s stomach twisted anyway. He’d already resolved not to expect anything from Beomgyu in terms of his own satisfaction, but this was definitely going to haunt him for a while.
Taehyun sat back, removing his hands from Beomgyu’s shorts in order to tug them off. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Beomgyu’s dick before, but he’d never seen it half-hard and flushed pink. Not when Beomgyu was spread beneath him like this.
“Why are you staring?” Beomgyu nudged him with his leg, head turned to the side. His ears were red, and he kept glancing at Taehyun before looking away again.
“You’re cute,” Taehyun said, because he knew it would make Beomgyu mad. “You’re cute here, too.”
That earned him a kick to his thigh and a scowl on Beomgyu’s face. Taehyun grinned and wrapped his fingers loosely around Beomgyu’s cock, trailing his thumb across the head. Beomgyu shivered, his frown giving way to surprise and then tense pleasure as he rolled his hips up into Taehyun’s touch. The weight of him felt good in Taehyun’s hand, and satisfying when he felt Beomgyu grow harder with every teasing stroke.
“Like I said,” Taehyun murmured, leaning back over Beomgyu, “it’s better when you build up to it.” His free hand curled around the back of Beomgyu’s thigh, pushing his leg up and out. “I know you had sex with your girlfriend, hyung,” he continued, pressing Beomgyu’s cock against his stomach as he kissed a path down Beomgyu’s neck. “You took your time, right? Made her feel good?”
“Fuck—yeah, yes, okay,” Beomgyu gasped, trying to push upwards even as Taehyun continued to hold him in place. “I get it, Taehyun-ah, I get it, so can you just—”
Taehyun moved his hand away from Beomgyu’s cock at the same time he bit the base of Beomgyu’s neck, just enough to suggest the possibility of a bruise. Beomgyu’s words cut off sharply with a gasp, his whole body arching up. It was satisfying, really, how sensitive he was. How easily Beomgyu came apart.
“And then, when you finally get what you want,” Taehyun said in between kissing his way down Beomgyu’s chest and stomach, trying not to smile too much at the way Beomgyu’s muscles tensed in anticipation, “you’re desperate for it.”
Still holding Beomgyu’s thigh with one hand, he slid his other hand back and forth across Beomgyu’s skin, his fingers dipping closer with every pass. It was probably a little mean, since Beomgyu hadn’t exactly asked for this level of affection. It wasn’t exactly what Taehyun had said he’d give, either, too close to how he’d behave if he was actually having sex with someone. But with Beomgyu flushed and wet and digging his nails into Taehyun’s shoulders, biting his lips to keep from making too many sounds, it was impossible not to get caught up in the moment. Taehyun wanted to make him fall apart.
“Please,” Beomgyu said, head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut. “Taehyun, please touch me.”
Taehyun exhaled and pressed his forehead to Beomgyu’s hip. His own cock was painfully hard, veering on uncomfortable in the fabric of his sweats, but this wasn’t about him, even with Beomgyu saying his name like that, saying please in that voice—
“Touch you where?” Taehyun said, because he had a death wish. “Tell me, Beomgyu-yah.”
Beomgyu cursed, his fingers pressing even harder into Taehyun’s back. Taehyun wondered if, in the morning, he’d have bruises in the shape of Beomgyu’s hands.
“Here?” Taehyun touched the slick head of Beomgyu’s cock with the tip of one finger, dragging it down too lightly to give relief. Beomgyu whined, his other leg coming up to drape over Taehyun’s shoulder, practically folding himself in half. “Or here?” he asked, moving his finger, damp with precome, slowly back to Beomgyu’s hole.
“Oh fuck,” Beomgyu gasped, thrusting up at nothing and then back down against Taehyun’s finger, like his body didn’t know which sensation to chase. “Yeah, there, Taehyun, please—”
“Mm, you were right, hyung,” Taehyun said, smiling against Beomgyu’s skin. “You do like this. Hold your leg for me.”
Beomgyu whined and kicked his heel lightly against Taehyun’s back when Taehyun took both his hands off Beomgyu’s skin. Still, Beomgyu listened, moving one hand down from Taehyun’s shoulder to the back of his own knee. His hair was tangled against his bed spread, gaze distant with pleasure, skin a little sticky with sweat. Taehyun made himself reach over for the lube rather than get his hands back on Beomgyu’s body, or, worse, give in to the urge to get his mouth on Beomgyu’s cock.
“You can pretend I’m someone else if you want,” Taehyun said, giving them both one last chance at an out as he warmed the lube between his fingers. “Some girls are into this, you know.”
At least if Beomgyu was thinking about someone else, Taehyun could remember all of this more clinically. More removed. But Beomgyu shook his head, pulled his leg closer to his chest as he ran his other hand across Taehyun’s shoulder and down along his collarbone.
“This is fine,” he said, breathless, and Taehyun swallowed heavily. “You’re fine, Taehyun-ah.”
Taehyun wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He wasn’t sure what to think about it in general, or what it meant. Instead of saying anything, Taehyun wrapped his hand around Beomgyu’s cock as the same time he leaned down and kissed him, trapping Beomgyu’s surprised shout between them. He didn’t move his hand yet, just held Beomgyu firmly as they kissed. When he brushed his finger against Beomgyu’s rim, Beomgyu gasped, then broke the kiss completely to yell when Taehyun stroked his cock at the same time he pressed in with his finger.
If this was a normal hook-up, Taehyun would be telling Beomgyu how beautiful he was like this, because he was: flushed and glowing, his whole body arching into Taehyun’s touch, knuckles bleached white where he was trying so hard to keep hold of his leg. It was dangerous, really, because Taehyun knew this was something he’d never forget.
“Good?” he prompted, pressing his mouth to the underside of Beomgyu’s jaw.
“Yes,” Beomgyu managed. He wrapped his arm around Taehyun’s neck, keeping him close. “Taehyun—Taehyun please, I can’t—”
“You can,” Taehyun murmured, thrusting his hand forward again as he crooked his finger. “Come on.”
Beomgyu jolted off the bed with a broken yell, eyes widening in clear surprise when, without much more effort on Taehyun’s part, he came. It took them both by surprise, honestly, and Taehyun was suddenly intensely aware of how hard he was, leaning over Beomgyu like it wasn’t his finger that Beomgyu had come on.
Fuck, he thought, the single distinct thought currently circling in his brain. Oh fuck.
Carefully, he removed his finger, let go of Beomgyu’s softening dick, and sat back. He leaned over the side of the bed and wiped both hands on Beomgyu’s discarded shorts, because he’d forgotten to grab anything else in advance.
That was two things he hadn’t planned for. So much for always being prepared.
“Fuck,” Beomgyu breathed, a distorted mirror of Taehyun’s own thoughts. He stared up at the ceiling as he slowly lowered his leg, stretching without any shame. Taehyun shuffled to the edge of the bed, wincing. He needed to leave. Immediately. Before he did anything even more idiotic, such as asking if there was anything else Beomgyu might be interested in trying.
“I hope that, um, helped,” Taehyun said. Before Beomgyu could answer, he staggered out into the hallway—awkward and embarrassed, and a little miserable—to lock himself in the bathroom until all the evidence was long gone.
The thing was, Taehyun had spent years pigeonholing his fellow trainees and then, eventually, his group members into a box in his mind labeled ‘off limits.’ He knew other trainees hooked up. Many of them found it easier to keep secrets when the secret was shared. Taehyun had always felt like that was too big a risk. When you knew you were gay as early as Taehyun had, and you knew the life you wanted to pursue was already a near-impossible one, you learned to deny yourself certain things. And Taehyun was incredibly good at denying himself a great many things.
Or, at least, he had been.
It was easier to ignore when they were busy. The last crunch before the end of year shows meant their schedule was packed, and most of Taehyun’s downtime was spent at the gym or sleeping. Still, there were enough brief moments for the memories to sneak back in: the way Beomgyu had looked; the way he’d sounded; the way he’d felt.
Taehyun wouldn’t call it a crush. It was different than when he’d been in middle school, just figuring out he liked boys, and it was different from how he’d felt as a trainee, hopelessly starry-eyed over Yeonjun—though every trainee had a crush on Yeonjun, so Taehyun wasn’t sure that even counted. Beomgyu didn’t make his heart race. There weren’t butterflies in his stomach. It was more like a slow-burning ember deep in his chest, reminding him of what they’d done, what they could’ve done, what they could still do.
The thing was, if you denied yourself something for long enough, just a taste could drive a man insane.
On top of it all, Beomgyu had apparently decided the best course of action was to avoid him.
Nothing he did was obvious enough for Taehyun to call him on it, since Beomgyu still acknowledged him during practices, still joked around in front of the camera, but Taehyun began to track all the things he had taken for granted. Beomgyu stopped hovering at Taehyun’s side during breaks, rambling about whatever game he and Heeseung were into lately; he didn’t insist on running to the convenience store for late night snacks, giggling like they were getting away with a crime when he snuck extras into the basket; he didn’t try to hold Taehyun’s hand when they drove back to the dorm after late night practices or tease him about his obsessively detailed grocery shopping lists when he planned his meals. Individually, none of these things would’ve been strange. All together, right after everything, it didn’t feel like a coincidence.
It felt like a mistake. Taehyun couldn’t afford to make any mistakes.
Across the room, Kai was already asleep, but Taehyun’s thoughts were too loud to nap. No matter how he tried to derail them, they circled through his mind in an infinite loop, ricocheting off his skull like marbles. He stared up at the ceiling, a vast expanse of white, and wished, for the first time, that certain things in his life were different.
Frustrated, both with his thoughts and his inability to sleep, Taehyun gave up. He slipped out of bed and shuffled towards the kitchen before he started yelling or throwing his pillows around or something. Kai didn’t deserve that, and at least one of them should be well rested for dance practice.
The fridge was distressingly empty, but there were enough ingredients to make a sandwich, albeit a slightly pathetic one. If he broke his diet, no one had to know. He focused on the physical movements of food prep, letting his other thoughts slip away. It wasn’t as distracting as cooking a full meal or doing reps in the gym, but it worked well enough that he didn’t notice Yeonjun had joined him in the kitchen until he peered over Taehyun’s shoulder.
“Not your best work,” Yeonjun teased, pointing at the plate. “Also, didn’t you cut out bread?”
Taehyun grunted, pressing down on the top of the sandwich to get the lettuce to lay flat. “I’ll go to the gym early tomorrow.”
Yeonjun rolled his eyes and moved away to grab a glass of water. “Why are you in such a bad mood? I feel like I’ve barely seen you this week.”
“I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to wake Hueningie.” Taehyun took the plate over to the table, sitting with his back to Yeonjun. He should’ve put on music. At least if he’d been wearing headphones he could’ve avoided this conversation entirely.
Instead of letting Taehyun eat in peace, Yeonjun sat down across from him at the table, both hands around his glass. He looked serious in a way he rarely did with Taehyun these days. Taehyun wished he hadn’t left his bedroom at all.
“Taehyun-ah. Do we need to talk?” Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, fixing Taehyun with his most unimpressed look. “Stop making your media face, you know it doesn’t work on me.”
Taehyun slouched in his chair and frowned, pushing his plate back. He wasn’t hungry anymore.
“It’s not a big deal,” Taehyun said, because it wasn’t, or at least it shouldn’t be. Maybe if he ripped the bandage off, Yeonjun would leave him alone. “I slept with Beomgyu.”
“You what?” Yeonjun said, louder than he should have. He winced, shook his head, and then gestured for Taehyun to stand up. “Come on, come to my room, we do need to talk about this.”
Or maybe telling Yeonjun the truth would just make things worse. Great.
It was only after Yeonjun shoved Taehyun through the door and locked it behind them that Taehyun realized he’d left his sandwich on the table. Oh well.
Yeonjun’s room was the same as it always was, clean and organized despite the extra clothing rack. Taehyun sat down at the edge of the bed and clasped his hands on his knees, staring at a spot on the far wall rather than at whatever expression was on Yeonjun’s face.
“So?” Yeonjun prompted, standing in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips. “What the hell happened?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.” Taehyun twisted his fingers together more, using the sensation to keep his expression blank.
“Yeah, well, I’d rather you didn’t sleep with our straight group members. I thought I warned you about straight boys.” Yeonjun grimaced, which was fair, then sighed as he sat down next to Taehyun. He wrapped an arm around Taehyun’s shoulders and briefly rocked them both back and forth. “Seriously, Taehyunnie. Is this why you’ve been acting weird? If he said something shitty to you—”
“No,” Taehyun interrupted, untangling his hands to put one on Yeonjun’s knee. “He didn’t say anything, hyung, relax.”
Yeonjun huffed and squeezed Taehyun’s shoulders. “Just checking. He’s an idiot. It was a valid question.”
True enough. Beomgyu loved to say things without thinking about the consequences. Taehyun supposed this whole mess counted as one of those times, too.
“So?” Yeonjun prompted a second time. He looked worried now, which made Taehyun want to crawl into a hole and die.
“Since when do you want to talk about feelings?” Taehyun mumbled. “Also, I don’t think he’s straight.”
“Someone told me it’s important and healthy to talk about them,” Yeonjun said, “and since I love him, I’m trying to take his advice.”
As much as Taehyun didn’t want to admit it, Yeonjun—well, Changbin, really—was probably right. For the past week, Taehyun had been distracted, both by Beomgyu’s behavior and by his own anxieties. It was annoying, and for all the time he spent thinking about Beomgyu, he wasn’t any closer to a solution. While a part of him resisted the idea of putting any of his fears into words, another part of him was desperate for Yeonjun’s advice. He felt like a trainee again, nervous about failing and desperately homesick, waking up every morning terrified that he’d be sent home if he looked at any of the other boys for even a second too long.
Back then, Yeonjun hadn’t made him talk about any of it. They’d watched random videos on Yeonjun’s phone, and Yeonjun hadn’t said anything when Taehyun cried into his sweatshirt. That quiet support had meant the world to a kid who barely wanted to admit he was scared of their monthly evaluations. Taehyun wished that sort of support could be enough now.
“It wasn’t what you think,” Taehyun said, leaning a bit more of his weight onto Yeonjun. “He asked for advice. And help. It wasn’t—we didn’t really have sex. But…”
He thought about that day in the practice studio, when Beomgyu had first kissed him. He thought about how easily Beomgyu had trusted him, and the way Beomgyu had said his name, breathless and desperate.
The way Beomgyu had wanted it to be Taehyun in his bed, and not anyone else.
Taehyun took a deep breath, then exhaled. With Yeonjun watching him, it was impossible to deny that the ember in his chest just kept on burning.
“Ah,” Yeonjun breathed, moving his hand from Taehyun’s shoulder to the back of his head. Taehyun didn’t look at him, but he could picture the crooked smile on Yeonjun’s face. “That’s enough, Taehyun-ah. You don’t have to tell me.”
Taehyun slumped more and let Yeonjun pull him into a half-hug, all the tension draining from his body. “It’s stupid.”
“No,” Yeonjun said, running his hand through Taehyun’s hair. “It’s not stupid.”
Even though he still kind of wanted to cry, that made him smile. “Hyung, you don’t have to lie.”
“Well, it’s a little inconvenient,” Yeonjun said, “but at least you don’t have to sneak out of the dorms. Soobin will love that.”
“Mm, I don’t think this is the same situation as yours. Soobin-hyung doesn’t have to worry.” Taehyun patted Yeonjun’s knee and sat up, dislodging Yeonjun’s hand from his hair. “But thank you.”
Yeonjun waved his hand and flopped backwards onto the bed, which Taehyun took as a sign he was finally free to go. He hadn’t quite reached the door yet when Yeonjun cleared his throat.
“Taehyunnie,” he said, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Taehyun directly. Yeonjun was frowning now, serious and thoughtful, and he tilted his head to the side when Taehyun turned back to look at him. “You know it would be okay, right? If it was the same situation. Even if the company wasn’t happy. I’d make sure it was okay.”
Taehyun took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. He didn’t think it would be relevant now, but one day it would matter. One day, he would need the unceasing support Yeonjun had always provided. He was lucky to have an older brother like Yeonjun to help in all the ways his sister couldn't.
“You should make Beomgyu-hyung buy you dinner, by the way,” Taehyun said, turning his head to smirk back at Yeonjun, “as a thank you for opening his mind to gay sex. Just how loud are you, hyung?”
Yeonjun blinked, eyes cartoonishly wide as his face moved quickly through a series of expressions: shocked, bewildered, mortified, shocked again. His ears flushed bright red, and just as he opened his mouth, Taehyun threw the door open, fleeing down the hall.
“Taehyun-ah!” Yeonjun shouted after him, loud enough to wake everyone up; Taehyun laughed, grabbing his sandwich from the kitchen before retreating back into his bedroom.
Although it hadn’t solved any of his problems, talking it through with Yeonjun had shaken something loose in his head. Taehyun focused better on work, engaging with everyone when he needed to and going on autopilot when he didn’t, and he paid no more attention to Beomgyu than was usual. He tried not to pay less attention either. Anything different would just make it more obvious that something was wrong. Yeonjun shooting him concerned looks was a small price to pay. At least he didn’t ask any further questions about it.
Worse than Yeonjun’s concern, though, was that sometimes Taehyun couldn’t stop himself from looking over at Beomgyu, expecting nothing, only to find Beomgyu looking back. He never held Taehyun’s gaze for long, never long enough to give anything away, but it was—it was just weird, and confusing, and Taehyun didn’t know what it meant. At night, Taehyun couldn’t stop thinking about these moments, about all the things he wanted and all the things he couldn’t have. It was like a greatest hits collection playing on repeat behind his eyelids: the way Beomgyu’s face lit up when he was happy, the way he threw his head back when he laughed, the way he used to drape himself on Taehyun with ease, knowing Taehyun could hold his weight.
The color of his pale skin, flushed with desire. The way he’d sounded when he said you’re fine, Taehyun-ah.
Taehyun tried not to think about those things. Every night, he failed.
It was inconvenient, he thought, to want something so far out of reach.
The end of the year arrived. With so much to prepare for, there wasn’t much time for Taehyun’s thoughts to linger on what ifs and maybes, and he was grateful for the reprieve. It wasn’t as though he suddenly stopped thinking about Beomgyu in unproductive ways, but he was generally too tired to worry about it. He crashed into his bed at night and was asleep too quickly to make conversation with Kai, let alone fantasize. Not the best long term strategy, but for the moment, it would have to do.
They were finally given a half-day off in the lead up to the New Years’ show, their bodies desperate for the recovery time. Taehyun had vocal training early, and after eating lunch, he locked himself back in one of the practice studios. No dance rehearsals meant he should take advantage of the free time to work on his own music, something he didn’t get to do nearly enough, but once he had Cubase open, he couldn’t work up the energy to actually do anything. His entire body ached from overwork. Maybe he should’ve just gone back to the dorm. Yeonjun would still be in one of the practice rooms, probably; if Taehyun broke out his widest sad eyes, maybe he could convince Yeonjun to stop at the convenience store for snacks with him.
Someone knocked softly on the door. Taehyun groaned as he dragged himself out of the chair to answer, muscles protesting even that slight movement.
“Oh,” Taehyun said, blinking stupidly at Beomgyu, who still had his hand raised like he was planning to knock again.
“Can we talk?” Beomgyu asked. He tucked his hair behind his ear, gaze pointed somewhere around Taehyun’s feet rather than at his face. He looked—not angry or sad, but off in a way Taehyun couldn’t put into words. Fragile? More delicate than he usually did, at least, which, given that Beomgyu was often styled like a porcelain doll, was saying something.
Taehyun stared at his face, at the sweep of his eyelashes and the dusting of pink across his skin, then stepped back from the door. Once again, the studio felt too small to hold them both. Taehyun twisted his hands in the pocket of his hoodie and stared at the wall rather than staring at Beomgyu’s face.
“So?” His voice came out rougher than usual. Taehyun cleared his throat, wishing he’d brought a water bottle with him. “What did you want to talk about?”
Beomgyu rubbed his cheek and tilted his head to the side, glancing briefly at Taehyun before looking away again. “Ah, I didn’t really think this far ahead. I wasn’t sure you’d let me in.”
“Sort of wishing I hadn’t,” Taehyun mumbled, sarcastic. That, of course, finally made Beomgyu look up at him, expression falling, and Taehyun instantly regretted his words. It was easy to forget, sometimes, that Beomgyu was far more sensitive than he liked to let on. “But you’re already here,” he backtracked quickly, “so I’m listening.”
Beomgyu sighed, curling in on himself. “I can just leave if you want.”
“No, wait,” Taehyun said, grimacing at himself. He needed to at least try to keep it together. Wasn’t he supposed to be more mature than this? “Sorry. I didn’t mean it, hyung. Tell me what you wanted to say.”
“Ah,” Beomgyu started, rubbing at his cheek in a self-conscious way. “I think I should be apologizing to you. I fucked up, right? I pushed you to—to do something I shouldn’t have pushed for. Something you didn’t want. It wasn’t fair, just because I—” He broke off, looking up at the ceiling, hands clasped at the back of his neck. A blush had crawled up his neck and face, bright red against pale skin.
Taehyun stared at him. Silence stretched awkwardly between them, filling every empty space in the small studio room. None of this conversation was going the way Taehyun had expected. “Just because you…?”
Beomgyu made a face and flushed even more. “Just because—because I like you. Ahhh! This is hard!”
“You,” Taehyun tried to say as he watched Beomgyu crouch down and scrub his hands through his hair. The words just didn’t—wouldn’t—make sense, no matter how many times he repeated them in his head. “What?”
“It was so weird, you know, because at first I didn’t realize that’s what it was and then when I did realize it was so embarrassing.” Beomgyu was rambling softly, staring down at the carpet rather, and Taehyun couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “A crush on my dongsaeng, who I used to walk to school, you know? Embarrassing! So I ignored it for a while, or I tried to, but you’re really—anyway, I didn’t know what to do, so I asked Yeonjun-hyung for advice—”
That startled Taehyun out of his daze. “You talked to Yeonjun-hyung?”
Beomgyu huffed out a laugh, tilting his head to the side with a slightly pained expression. “I don’t think he realized what I was asking. Which is fine, it would kind of be weird if I was just like, hey Yeonjun-hyung, how do I get Taehyun-ah to go out with me? But maybe if I’d said that, I wouldn’t have fucked things up so badly. Yah, why are you smiling?”
Taehyun laughed, helpless not to. “I can’t believe you went to Yeonjun-hyung. You know he spent months sulking and pining like an idiot, right? Why would you ask him for help with this?”
Beomgyu pouted. “He’s the only person I know with a boyfriend!”
Grinning even more, Taehyun sat down on the floor in front of Beomgyu, resting his chin on his hand, elbow on his knee. “You want me to be your boyfriend, huh?”
“That’s—I didn’t say that!” Beomgyu flushed a darker red, eyes wide. He waved his hands between them and lost his balance, falling backwards onto his butt. “I mean, maybe? I mean.” He covered his face, groaning. “You’re so annoying.”
“You’re the one who said you wanted to ask me out.”
“Maybe I changed my mind.” Beomgyu’s voice was muffled by his hands, but his flushed ears were still visible through his hair. He was so cute. He was always so cute. “Maybe I hate you now.”
Taehyun hummed. “That’s okay.” He reached out and wrapped his hands around Beomgyu’s wrists, tugging at them until Beomgyu let him pull his hands away from his face. “I think I can win you back.”
“Oh,” Beomgyu said softly, eyes wide. When Taehyun slid his fingers between Beomgyu’s, a slow smile spread across Beomgyu’s face. “You think so?”
Of all the things Taehyun would have guessed when Beomgyu had knocked on the door, none of them would have been this.
“Mm. I have a few ideas.” He squeezed Beomgyu’s hands. “Will you let me try?”
Beomgyu laughed, letting go of Taehyun’s hands only to reach up and grab his face. “Don’t even joke, come here.”
He tugged Taehyun forward at the same time that Taehyun braced his hands on Beomgyu’s knees and leaned in. Beomgyu was still smiling, making it impossible to actually kiss, so Taehyun kissed everywhere other than his mouth: his chin, his cheek, at the corner of his eye, until Beomgyu’s smile began to fade. Warmth blossomed in his chest at the pleased noise Beomgyu fed into his mouth as their lips met. Anticipation buzzed under his skin. Taehyun wasn’t sure he had ever wanted someone so much, made worse by his own memories.
In between kisses, Beomgyu crawled onto Taehyun’s lap, an echo of the last time they’d kissed in this room but also entirely different. Taehyun slid a hand up the back of Beomgyu’s jacket, beneath his shirt, fingertips finding warm skin. Beomgyu sighed, arching his back so they were pressed even closer together, his hands still framing Taehyun’s face like he was worried Taehyun would change his mind and stop making out.
“I’m not fucking you in the practice room,” Taehyun mumbled when they had to breathe, Beomgyu nuzzling against the side of his face like any distance was too much.
“Why not?” he asked, mischievous, the way he sounded when sharing a stupid prank idea. “You have to make it up to me. I thought you hated it! I can’t believe you ran away!”
Taehyun felt himself blush, but as much as he wanted to, he didn’t let himself hide his face. “No,” he said quietly, “I liked it too much.”
Even Beomgyu’s laugh sounded fond, soft and close to Taehyun’s ear. “I liked it, too.” He kissed Taehyun’s cheek, and Taehyun could feel Beomgyu’s smile against his skin. “I wanted it so much, and you kept telling me to think about someone else when I always wanted it to be you—”
Taehyun tightened his grip on Beomgyu’s waist. “Who’s back at the dorm?”
Beomgyu laughed again, bright and pleased. “I don’t know. All of them, probably. Can I blow you?”
“Now?”
“Yeah,” Beomgyu said, leaning more of his weight onto Taehyun, arms wrapped around Taehyun’s shoulders. “Since you won’t fuck me…”
Taehyun looked up at the ceiling and tried to do the deep breathing exercises his vocal teacher had taught him years ago. It only did so much to help, especially when Beomgyu pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, soft and sweet.
“Please, Taehyun-ah,” he said against Taehyun’s skin. “I want to. Can I?”
“Fine, yes, okay,” Taehyun said, too fast to feign any sense of calm. They both scrambled to their feet, both of them smiling when Taehyun had to help keep Beomgyu upright when he almost lost his balance in his rush.
The room was small enough that it was only one step backwards to the wall. Beomgyu pushed Taehyun against it, his hands falling to Taehyun’s hips, then beneath the fabric of his hoodie. Cool fingertips found the waistband of his pants, teasing his skin with a light touch. Taehyun’s head fell back against the wall with a quiet thud, and Beomgyu took the chance to kiss down his neck. They’d barely done anything and Taehyun was already half hard, running entirely on adrenaline and the memory of what Beomgyu looked like beneath him. When Beomgyu dropped to his knees, Taehyun forgot how to breathe.
“I’ve never done this before, so you have to tell me if it’s bad,” Beomgyu said as he tugged Taehyun’s joggers down to his thighs. Based on the current visual, Taehyun was pretty sure nothing Beomgyu could do would be bad, but he hummed an agreement as he brushed Beomgyu’s hair back from his forehead.
Beomgyu grinned up at him, the same look he got before he made a bad joke on To Do, then hooked his fingers in the elastic of Taehyun’s underwear. Taehyun had the brief thought that it was going to be annoying to get redressed later, but then Beomgyu’s hand was on his cock, and Taehyun wasn’t thinking about later anymore.
“Still can’t believe you didn’t fuck me when you had the chance,” Beomgyu said, too breathless to be casual. “I was begging for it and everything.”
Taehyun stared at the ceiling and took a bracing breath. “Beomgyu…”
Beomgyu laughed, then leaned in to kiss the side of Taehyun’s cock. “Next time.”
All the air left his lungs when Beomgyu licked the head, eyes fluttering shut. How could Taehyun be expected to function after seeing that, feeling that? Beomgyu sat back, looking at Taehyun’s dick in his hand with a considering look on his face—probably the taste, Taehyun thought through the haze of lust, Beomgyu was such a picky eater—then opened his mouth to take Taehyun in anyway.
“Shit,” Taehyun bit out, body curling forward instinctively, one hand moving to Beomgyu’s hair from where he’d pressed them flat against the wall. He hardened more in the wet heat, all his blood rushing south so fast he was dizzy with it. Beomgyu moaned around him, a deep, muffled noise, eyelashes twitching against his cheeks, like he couldn’t think of anything better than feeling the evidence of Taehyun’s arousal. His head bobbed as he took more of Taehyun in, cheeks flushed pink, spit glistening at the corners of his lips. It was so much better than anything Taehyun had ever done before. Maybe because Beomgyu was prettier than his friend, or maybe just because Taehyun wanted him so badly he could taste it.
Keeping his hips still wasn’t easy, but Taehyun did his best, wanting to let Beomgyu move at his own pace. There wasn’t any reason to rush him when it felt this good. He didn’t need more than to watch Beomgyu’s cheeks hollow or feel the vibrations of Beomgyu’s little pleased noise when Taehyun tightened his grip on Beomgyu’s hair, pulling him back when Beomgyu tried to take too much of him in too quickly.
“Go slow,” Taehyun said, startled by the roughness of his own voice. “Relax.”
Beomgyu made a helpless noise, his own hips twitching up. Whether it was because of the hand in his hair or Taehyun’s words was unclear, but the hand not on Taehyun’s cock tightened its grip on Taehyun’s thigh before letting go. From this angle, Taehyun couldn’t see it clearly, but it was obvious when Beomgyu touched himself by the way his body jerked, the way the rhythm of his mouth faltered. The clear evidence of Beomgyu’s own desire made Taehyun bite his lip, head falling back against the wall with a dull thud. Beomgyu pulled off and the cool air against Taehyun’s cock made him shiver.
“More,” Beomgyu said quietly, looking up at Taehyun with wide eyes. He let go of Taehyun to wipe his chin with the back of his hand. His cheeks were so red. “Please.”
He licked a long stripe up Taehyun’s cock before taking him back in, jaw relaxed, eyes half lidded as he waited for Taehyun to move. Taehyun blinked down at him, then nodded, holding tight to Beomgyu’s hair as he began to fuck his mouth. Beomgyu moaned, tongue pressed against Taehyun’s cock, his hand making up for what he couldn’t take in. He liked it. Beomgyu liked it, so obviously turned on by Taehyun using him. He could see it in the way Beomgyu jerked himself off faster, the way he moved up to meet his own touch, eyebrows furrowed. Taehyun imagined what it would be like to really take what he wanted—how he could push Beomgyu down onto his cock, make him choke on it until tears ran down his face. Beomgyu would probably like that, even if Taehyun felt a brief rush of guilt at the thought.
A muffled, helpless noise from Beomgyu distracted him from that train of thought. He was clearly close, the rhythm of his movements faltering. Taehyun was close too; he dug his fingernails into his palm to try and keep himself back from the edge for just a little longer. He moved his other hand from Beomgyu’s hair to his cheek, down to his jaw, thumb sliding through the mess if spit on Beomgyu’s chin.
“Hyung looks so good full of my cock,” Taehyun managed to say, and Beomgyu moaned, just like Taehyun knew he would. “Gonna come.”
Beomgyu looked up at him with wide eyes, deliberately pulling back to hold the head of Taehyun’s cock in his mouth like a challenge. His hand slid along the length of Taehyun’s cock, jerking him off quickly until Taehyun made a broken noise and came on Beomgyu’s tongue, down his throat. Beomgyu made a face and pulled off, spit and come still connecting his lips to Taehyun, and his head dropped forward as he stroked himself faster. He came moments later, forehead pressed to Taehyun’s thigh, shivering all over. Taehyun’s cock twitched at the sight, and he winced, oversensitive.
Panting heavily, Beomgyu shifted away, collapsing against the wall next to Taehyun, the hand covered in his own come held out awkwardly beside him.
“Your jizz tastes disgusting,” Beomgyu complained, still out of breath. “Other than that it was great though. Ten out of ten, would blow you again.”
“Thanks,” Taehyun said, smiling when Beomgyu laughed. He pulled his pants back up, grimacing a little, then slid down to sit on the floor next to Beomgyu. “I’ll return the favor next time.”
Beomgyu nodded and wiped his hand on Taehyun’s hoodie. “The least you could do.”
Sighing deeply, Taehyun tugged off the now disgusting article of clothing and helped Beomgyu wipe the rest of his hand clean. Not like they didn’t have to wash all these clothes anyway. And wash their hands, preferably before Beomgyu touched literally anything.
“I really like you, Taehyun-ah,” Beomgyu said quietly, resting his head on Taehyun’s shoulder. “Like, so much.”
Taehyun looked down at him, at the fall of his hair and the straight line of his nose, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Yeah,” he mumbled, lacing their fingers together and squeezing Beomgyu’s hand. “I really like you, too.”
Beomgyu hummed, squeezing back. A comfortable silence settled between them, the kind the only came when both people understood each other. Beomgyu’s thumb tapped a rhythm against Taehyun’s hand, his body curled towards Taehyun like he wanted to be even closer than they already were.
It was nice. Taehyun hoped it would be nice for a long time.
“Yeonjun-hyung thinks you’re straight, by the way,” Taehyun said, smiling wide when Beomgyu barked out a loud laugh.
Beomgyu hooked his leg over Taehyun’s tapping their shoes together. “Joke’s on him, I’ve never been straight.”
“I gathered that,” Taehyun said, dry, laughing a little when Beomgyu dug his fingers into Taehyun’s ribs. “Come on, we should wash up before going home.”
“Ugh, I can’t walk right now,” Beomgyu whined, but he let Taehyun drag him to his feet anyway. There was no helping how rumpled they looked or how the practice room smelled. Hopefully the air conditioning would clear that up, and if they were lucky, there wouldn’t be too many people lurking around the office given the holiday season.
Once he’d collected his things, Taehyun paused at the door of the practice room to look at Beomgyu. His cheeks were pink, his hair messy, and Taehyun didn’t bother repressing his urge to lean in and kiss him, just a quick press of lips. Beomgyu swayed into it, eyes falling shut like he couldn’t help wanting more.
“Let’s go out soon,” Taehyun said. Their schedules were too insane to plan anything immediately, but Taehyun still wanted to say it.
“Like a date?” Beomgyu was smiling. Taehyun hoped he never stopped.
“Yeah.” Taehyun linked their hands together again. “Like a date.”