Chapter Text
Now that he’s experiencing it, there’s a point between waking and awareness that is much worse than dying. Dying is not death. It is failing at surviving, fitting since he is adept at both things.
Failing.
Surviving.
It’s fitting that when he is faced with their combination, he continues to teeter between the two.
However, it is the point at which he does neither that is infinitely worse. Perhaps it’s because he had gotten too used to doing the two things he was best at, creating the squirming restless discomfort he feels now.
There is a scale, he realizes.
Maybe it had once been a linear path, something thin that only goes one way where it’s impossible to turn around to retrace your steps. A path that goes from birth, to life, to death. But not for Hunter, not anymore.
He has a scale.
It starts with creation because he was made and not born. There must have been a period of waking and awareness at some point too before the scale dipped and bobbed between failure and suffering and surviving.
Then… living. Living was introduced at some point.
Living had at first been stolen moments between surviving and failure. He hadn’t been aware that living was different than surviving, that it was different than failing. He’d been trying to get better at living before surviving took precedence again. But surviving combined with failing and he’d discovered dying, the real kind of dying, the dying that leads to death.
The path should have ended there, but again, Hunter has a scale.
All that to say there are points on this scale, this illustration that depicts Hunter’s non-linear life and non-linear death that Hunter has yet to discover. He re-discovers such a point now.
The point between waking and awareness is hard to describe. It is an absence of… something. An absence of living that is not surviving, but is not nothing or death either. It is stillness and waiting and calm. There is no panic, there is no movement, there is no clawing of one’s self out of the depths of despair or the weightlessness of falling into feelings yet to be identified or named. It is unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
Pinpricks of pain.
He is not good at this.
Hints of light.
He is not good at this. He wants the absence to end.
Voices.
Yearning, wanting, he reaches for the familiar as it slips through his grasp, catching it just in time before he loses it completely. While in the stillness before awareness, he latches on, using it to pull himself up and out, briefly hoping and desperately wishing that for once, he can cut straight to the living.
If only he could be so lucky.
~ * * * ~
“...think he’s waking up!”
Light filters through his flickering eyelids as he wakes to a new world in familiar pain. Beating down the urge to groan and curl into himself, Hunter forces his body to lie completely still as he assesses the situation.
“Hunter?” Willow’s voice. Wobbly and uncertain, but hopeful.
“C’mon Buddy!” Gus’s voice. Encouraging and pleading, accompanied by a light nudge.
The contact sends tiny shockwaves of pain through his body. He doesn’t whimper, doesn’t move, just cautiously waits for the pain to end as he gets his bearings. Except the pain doesn’t end. In fact, he realizes that everything hurts quite badly actually. Like, excruciatingly so. Almost like he’d-
It all comes back to him then, the fall, his not-death, the fight between Luz and her mother and how he knew that he just had to get them all out. Chest smarting with each breath- from what he is certain are at least three broken ribs, his pain is reminiscent if not worse than that which he experienced on his trek towards and through the portal before he'd… died?
“Try not to touch him, Gus,” Camila cautions gently, triggering alarm bells in his brain. Fingers twitching, pulse gradually picking up speed, he aches to escape.
“Look! He moved!” Luz exclaims, unfortunately drawing even more scrutiny to his dishonest state of near consciousness.
It's Willow that ends up breaking his illusion though, moving close enough to where he can feel her breath on the shell of his ear, forcing him to suppress a shiver.
“I know you're awake, Hunter,” she whispers, he can practically imagine her smug smile now, the one she wears whenever she manages to break through his stubborn exterior.
When she moves away he waits another moment or two before heaving a sigh, opening his eyes and shooting her a soft glare
His ribs scream in protest at his dramatics. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to lay here. It hurts so much he feels nauseous. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it-
There's a flurry of movement and talking and explanations from his friends as they attempt to speak over each other, voicing their care and concern while scolding him for the lack of concern he has for himself.
Apparently, the Isles are killing him. Fun.
But he’s not dead and he didn’t die. Luz theorized that maybe he hadn’t ever fully died in the first place (a world-shattering thought, completely destabilizing the basis of knowledge upon which he’d been operating for months- one that is conveniently tucked away to spiral over later).
Thanks to the adrenaline and his long history of hiding injuries, no one except him is fully aware of their extent after his second collapse. Something that he decides to keep to himself for now as he makes sure to focus half of his attention on Camila while they speak and explain and interrupt each other. Just in case.
Eventually, said human steps in to summarize his friends’ jumbled mess of words, most of which he'd understood just fine thank you very much.
“What they're trying to say, Hunter, is you need to make sure you stay here in the Human Realm until you fully heal. If you step foot in the Demon Realm before that, there’s a good chance you'll end up exactly like you were a few minutes ago, okay?”
Hunter blinks and for a brief moment, there is a shadow of a memory- of stillness, of absence, disappearing as soon as it’d come.
Camila has stopped talking evidently looking for confirmation that he heard her. She receives a guarded nod.
“I'm not sure if you remember what happened when you woke up the first time”- he does, he decides it's better for her to believe that he doesn't, making a show of tilting his head in confusion and thinly veiled suspicion (it hurts). Camila shoots him a wobbly smile,“Well I think I startled you, quite badly I'm afraid.”
She fixates on him with kind, honest eyes, “I need you to trust me, okay?”
He doesn’t nod, allowing her expectant silence to stretch uncomfortably.
Camila sighs, not quite exasperated and continues speaking in soft tones, surprisingly he could almost interpret them as sad or concerned, “I need you to trust me so I can take care of you properly. So you can go home.”
For a brief heart aching moment the image of his cluttered room at the castle flashes in his mind, the way he’d had it before he’d learned the truth.
Oof. Yup. He’s very injured if he’s feeling nostalgic.
Unaware of his brief bout of mental weakness, Camila continues, “I’m the closest thing to a doctor you’ll be able to get in this world. So please understand that, while you might not trust me right away, you need to be honest with me about your pain and your injuries. Okay?”
When he doesn’t answer, Luz reaches out in an attempt to provide a reassuring touch, sending more shockwaves of pain through him. She doesn’t notice though, just like no one had ever noticed. At least in this instance, he can comfort himself with the thought that at least she would have cared if she did.
“It’s okay Hunter,” Luz murmurs, “She’s my mom, you can be honest with her about anything.”
He doesn’t miss Luz’s guilty glance when her eyes flick over to meet Camila’s, an unspoken conversation exchanging between them.
Knowing viscerally how deeply family can disappoint, Hunter attempts a shy smile. “Okay,” his throat is dry, he needs some water, but he will not ask for it. “I can’t trust you yet, Ma’am… But I promise to be honest.”
He can tell his lie is believable by the way conversation erupts, the atmosphere becoming palpably lighter as concerned expressions break into relieved smiles. No one notices the slight narrowing of Hunter’s eyes as he gazes at Camila, almost pitying her naivety.
He doesn’t trust her, he won’t (he wants to). He’ll let her care for him as she sees fit until he determines that he’s healed enough. That’s it. Afterwards, he and Luz are returning to the Boiling Isles, no matter what Camila says.
~ * * * ~
Darius keeps vigil at the portal door, pacing and worrying for as long as he can get away with after Hunter returns and is quickly whisked away to the Human Realm for the first time, not quite trusting the kid won’t immediately escape and head back. But, despite his intuition saying otherwise, Darius later receives word that Hunter had agreed to stay in the Human Realm for as long as it’s going to take for him to heal.
A large part of him doesn’t quite believe it will be so simple.
He’s proven right when Hunter returns and, to the shock and horror of his friends that accompany him, has to be quickly whisked away to the Human Realm for the second time two days later.
And again, when Hunter has to be hauled back to the Human Realm for a third time, getting the all-clear from Camila before he’d been allowed to journey home this time as well.
By the fourth time, Darius has to thoroughly resist the urge to bang his head on his office desk when he's alerted by Eda’s Penstagram message. Fortunately- or unfortunately, Eberwolf comes to collect him for their Coven Head meeting before he can give in to it.
“Coven Head Darius, a moment?” Emperor Belos requests after they’ve adjourned.
“Of course,” Darius replies pleasantly, turning to meet the unmasked, curse-scarred face of the genocidal maniac he works for, the other Coven Heads filing out of the throne room. “How may I be of assistance?”
Belos hums, fixing Darius with his warm, open gaze. Belos had always been kind to Darius, always coming across as quite grandfatherly whenever they interacted one on one. He’d never doubted that Belos was the type of man to lean towards nepotism out of misguided kindness. “I’ve noticed that you seem quite exhausted as of late, Darius. May I ask if there’s anything I can do to relieve you of your burdens?”
A test. Quite the attentive manipulator, Belos.
Darius huffs a surprised laugh, “I should have known, nothing gets past you, Your Majesty. Although I can assure you, my exhaustion is merely from a misguided personal endeavor.”
Belos chuckles, “My, I can’t imagine anything that would make you sacrifice your rest!”
Murderer.
Sheepishly, Darius rubs the back of his neck and grimaces- an embarrassed tell remnant from his time as a scout that he knows Belos picked up on years ago. “The thing is, I decided on a whim to take in this plant I found in the woods and it's been causing me all kinds of grief. It- It just will not stay alive!” Darius says, real frustration leaking into his voice.
Focus. Stay focused. Belos isn’t the only manipulator in this castle.
“I chose to keep it because I liked it, right? It reminded me of some of the plants I kept in my home when I was young, but it’s not growing the same way or acting the same way as I remember,“ he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Apologies, Emperor Belos. You probably wouldn’t understand. It’s ridiculous for me to be losing sleep over whether or not this thing is staying alive.”
“Why, don’t say that. I was a young witch once too,” Belos says.
Darius smirks, “Really? I wouldn’t have guessed it.”
That earns him some outright laughter, as the emperor's lips curl upward with mirth.
“It is true, I promise.”
Liar.
“Perhaps I have not had the exact same experience as you, but I too have had sleepless nights, worrying whether I should let things go,” Belos explains. “If there’s no chance to save something, it’s often better to start… fresh. I have seen more than enough lost causes in my day.”
Sick. Darius feels sick.
“Maybe I should return it to where I found it,” Darius muses, “If I had grown it from a seed I don’t think it would survive outside by itself, even if I had found the best plot of land and planted it myself. It would die of natural causes if left alone for long enough…-”
“Apologies, I digress,” He says, cutting himself off with a wave of his hand, “Thank you for the advice,Your Majesty.”
“No Darius, thank you. I quite enjoyed our conversation. It was… enlightening,” the Emperor then smiles, almost coyly like he’s thinking of a joke he’s keeping to himself, “Although I suppose I’d always known you can be sentimental.”
Ice in his veins, Darius merely rolls his eyes and smirks, “Please. It’s just a plant.”
~ * * * ~
Darius fully expects Hunter to be carted back to the Human Realm for the fifth time when he sees movement on the other side of the open portal door. He just happens to be visiting the Owl House wearing a rut in Eda’s floor from his anxious pacing after she’d messaged him to say that the kids were about to make another attempt at a journey to the Demon Realm. A tiny part of him is desperately hoping that this would finally be the time he’ll successfully welcome Hunter back and escort him home, but the rest of him knows better. Darius wouldn’t have been surprised by Hunter stepping through the portal, only to immediately collapse again, however he is surprised when Camila Noceda steps through instead.
Frazzled, anxious, and stressed are all apt descriptors for her state, but she steals herself and locks eyes with Darius and Eda, voice ringing out strong and clear, “I need you both to come with me. I need a second opinion. Please.”
Darius wouldn’t have refused even if he wanted to.
After receiving a tight smile, they’re led through the portal where the exhausted mother heaves a sigh, “Ay… I don’t know what I’m doing wrong with him.”
And isn’t Darius familiar with that particular sentiment.
“He’s telling me he’s recovered enough to go home again, and I believed him- I believed my own eyes for the first three times, but it’s like every time he tries to go over there, he collapses and it’s back to square one.” Camila explains.
“It’s frustrating,” Darius agrees.
Eda remains uncharacteristically quiet, anxious, Darius assumes, to reunite with her own charge.
Their short journey ends in the Noceda residence’s living room, where Luz, Willow, Gus, and Hunter have been spending most of their time recently.
Immediately Luz leaps up from her place on the floor to wrap Eda up in a crushing hug, one that the witch returns with equal enthusiasm.
Darius, of course, files away Eda’s unabashed fondness for the human for later teasing purposes.
“Darius!” Hunter exclaims, hopping up from his seated position on the couch. For a moment he hesitates before following Luz’s lead and giving Darius a one-armed hug, “You made it!”
Ever so gently, overly cautious of Hunter’s healing injuries, Darius returns it, “Of course I did, I’m just sorry I wasn’t able to visit earlier.”
They part and Darius can practically feel Eda’s smirk as he scans Hunter up and down to make sure the hug didn’t knock anything out of place. But no, Hunter just faces him, posture relaxed and stance steady, his face just a tad paler than normal. Overall he seems unbothered and fairly comfortable.
Alarm bells blare in Darius’s mind.
“Why don’t you take a seat back on the couch, it’s probably pretty tiring healing the human way,” Darius suggests, not letting his concern leak into his voice.
But Hunter simply waves him off, “Nah, as much as I’d love to hang out in the Human Realm for a bit longer, I really just want to go home.”
For the briefest moment, Hunter’s eyes flicker to Camila and Darius knows that the likelihood of Hunter returning just dropped to zero.
If only Darius hadn’t taught the kid to be such a good liar.
“Camila, a word?’
After receiving a tight smile, and promising Hunter that he’d be back soon, Darius follows Camila to her kitchen, where he accepts her invitation to sit across from her at her dining table. Wasting no time, Daris castles his fingers in front of him as they lock eyes.
“He’s lying to you, he doesn’t trust you, and it’s very likely that he’s hiding the worst of his injuries.” Darius sighs, “Hunter makes… assumptions sometimes. Gets these ideas in his head that he won’t let go of. Becomes guarded and skittish when he wouldn't be otherwise.”
Instead of shock and horror like he’d expected however, Camila simply nods, taking the news in stride.
Smart woman, Darius thinks, faith in her ability to care for Hunter growing exponentially.
“I wasn’t sure until just now, but I’m certain he remembers Luz and I’s argument when he first woke up,” she says, nodding sagely before her expression breaks, “Dios Mio! He thought I was going to hurt her! Hurt them!”
Darius hesitates, unsure of how much to say, “He was hurt… quite often in his past.”
Don’t think about the mindscape.
“Hurt!? Darius, he must have been abused ,” Camila hisses.
Failing, Darius’s composure crumples, burying his face in his hands, he lets his forehead thunk onto the table. “Titan, woman you think I don’t know that already?” he mutters despondently.
It’s all there, carved into Hunter’s body and actions: the scars that shouldn’t exist, the flinches that shouldn’t be instinct, the way he recounts horrors as though they were as ordinary as breathing. But Darius had never really looked, had he? Never let himself see.
Guilt twists in his gut, sour and biting because of how badly he’d failed Hunter. But further beneath that is this boiling anger, and a plaintive feeling that he’s not being fair to himself. None of this is fair though, none of this should have been on his shoulders to notice in the first place!
He knows that it’s Belos’s fault. Belos didn’t just warp a child into a weapon- he stole the very language of suffering and rewrote it as loyalty. Belos built a life where a boy can’t tell the difference between trauma and normalcy.
Darius’s hands curl into fists, nails biting deep into his palms. Titan, what kind of world lets a monster thrive so long, so unchecked? And what kind of coward does that make him, to have lived beneath it and said nothing?
For one lurching moment, a part of him considers sealing Hunter in a bubble of abomination goo just so Belos can never touch him again, but before Darius can do anything drastic, shouting sounds from the living room.
Launching his head up from where it had been resting on his fists, he locks eyes with Camila as overlapping voices compete to be heard before there’s a sudden crash.
Then… silence.
Darius arrives at the entrance of the living room first, closely followed by Camilla. They’re met by a strange plateau, the room's occupants barely daring to breathe as they meet the eyes of its new entrants.
Hunter’s gathered his friends behind himself to shield them with his body, entire demeanor taught with anticipation as his eyes, glazed with fear and pain flick between the Owl Lady and Camila.
Eda, hands held out as if calming a wild animal grimaces guiltily when she meets Darius’s alarmed gaze.
The couch cushions are all askew, throws and pillows scattered throughout the room, the corners of the rug are flipped up, and on the floor between Hunter and Eda lies a tall lamp, its bulb shattered and its shade propped up crookedly, but intact.
Finally, Hunter’s eyes land on Darius, they drift behind him to the exit and then back to Darius again. The boy is clearly anticipating some kind of punishment or outburst, but seeing Darius seems to instill a rare confidence for this type of situation. Settling on some sort of conclusion, Hunter gives Darius a determined nod which the man unfortunately understands perfectly. ‘Protect my friends, I’m trusting you’.
And having the kid trust him is great and all, but Darius would decidedly rather not have him bolt when he’s still severely injured.
“Hunter-!”
But Darius’s attempt at de-escalation comes far too late and the very next moment can only be described as chaos.
Hunter makes a mad dash for the exit to the surprised squawks of his friends, his palisman following close behind in a flurry of red feathers. Camilla gasps in concern as Darius tugs her against him to prevent her from being bowled over by the fleeing ex-golden guard, too cautious of Hunter’s potential injuries to roughly reel him back in with his abomination goo. Eda, however, doesn’t face these same qualms.
Fortunately- because he’s no longer able to subject himself to living out the rest of his days in the Human Realm’s forest- and unfortunately- because that was most likely his plan- Hunter doesn’t make it far.
“Oh no you don’t!” Eda exclaims, her old bones moving quick as she tackles him to the ground with a flying leap. Wincing, dread seeping in, Darius swears he can hear a faint popping sound as the two of them land. Hard. Eyes flying wide open before rolling to the back of his head, Hunter coughs up a mouthful of blood, a strangled whimper escaping his lips when normally he’d remain silent. Evidently, not only does Eda stop his escape, but she also stops Hunter’s state of consciousness, the boy going limp after succumbing to sheer pain.
The moment passes and there is only silence once again, Eda glancing around slightly sheepish, yet unapologetic from on top of him.
Camilla looks green. Darius feels faint. Hunter’s friends just stare in shock, horrified at how badly they’d misjudged the state of his injuries.
“Whelp, you wanted a second opinion. Here’s mine,” Eda declares, with a shrug, “Hunter is way too injured to return to the Demon Realm.”
As if that hadn’t become blatantly obvious.
“Um,” Camilla interjects, before Darius can verbalize the thought, “I think you can get off of him now.”
While Hunter is unconscious, Eda is able to do what she had originally set out to do before their scuffle, scanning his body to identify the rest of the injuries he’s been hiding. Subsequently she performs some quick emergency healing- since landing on someone with broken ribs tends to make things worse. After she’s done, Gus and Willow gather by his side with Willow gently holding his hand, a quiet frown on her face as Luz gently admonishes her mentor in the corner.
Darius hovers for as long as he can until it’s time to return to his duties, helping Camila clean up the glass from the shattered bulb and tidying up the space as they speak in quiet tones about strategies to help Hunter feel safe, and after a brief discussion with Camila and Eda, they agree that the longer Hunter stays, the better. With the decision made, and the house tidied, Darius lingers for a bit longer, ultimately leaving his unconscious, broken, and battered charge to rest and recover in the Human Realm despite his own conflicted feelings.
That night he tosses and turns restlessly in his chambers, more than a little worried about how Hunter will fare in the Human Realm for an extended period of time. Darius is certain, of course, that Hunter will put up a fuss when he wakes. The two of them will need to find time for a proper conversation- one that drives home that waiting and healing is in Hunter’s best interest, and of course the misunderstanding that drove him to flee the first time will need to be dealt with by Luz and Camila. Titan knows what the mother and daughter will have to go through to sort that whole situation out. Although, if he enlists Hunter’s friends, surely they’ll help convince him to act in his own best interests eventually.
But what about after Hunter heals? He won't stay safe in the human realm forever, not that Darius would ask him to even if a part of him may wish him to. No, Hunter is far too involved, there's no chance he'll be happy sitting on the sidelines when the fate of the Boiling Isles rests on their shoulders. He just wants Hunter to be safe. He just wants Hunter to live. Why can't he just protect Hunter like he wants to?
He’s just… so tired of seeing Hunter in pain.
With a determined huff Darius throws off his feelings of hopelessness and helplessness with his blankets. Rubbing away the building tears from his tired eyes, he marches over to his desk and pulls out his chair with a clatter, gritting his teeth as he sits. With a sweep of his arm he clears the surface to start anew, sending papers fluttering to the floor and pens rolling on the ground. Immediately, he commands his mini abomination to gather the materials he has in mind.
While Hunter rests, Darius will plan. He will scheme and consort and collude, call in every favour he has left until he’s amassed the knowledge and allies needed to stop Belos’s plan once and for all.
It’s only a matter of time until Hunter can return, and while Darius won’t be able to prevent the danger that Hunter is sure to face, he can damn well do his best to mitigate it.
It's only a matter of time until Belos makes his next move, until the final confrontation begins.
But when that time comes, they’ll be ready.