Chapter Text
“Jack, we don’t believe you,” Rose laughed, glancing over to where the Doctor was chuckling from under the console, flat on his back with one hand tangled in wiring and the other swiftly scrolling through sonic settings.
“Aw, come on, Rosie,” Jack grinned teasingly from a few feet away, where he had a broken spatial-geometer and what was supposedly a toolkit from the 51st Century (though Rose couldn’t tell what a single item did, and Jack certainly wasn’t getting any work done with them). “You know I know how to put on the charm.”
“Mm, sure,” she laughed, and the Doctor rolled his eyes dramatically.
“Charm, eh? And when do we get to see some of that?” he asked.
“Rosie’s already seen it,” Jack smirked. “Big Ben and an invisible spaceship, champagne and slow dancing under the stars… hey, Doc, if you ever get your act together and need advice on how to take her on a first date, I’m your guy.”
“Jack,” Rose groaned, cheeks flushing in mortification as the Doctor scowled, fingers gripping the sonic so tightly she wondered if it was possible for him to break it.
“Please, like I’d ever need advice from you,” the Doctor scoffed, and Rose blinked in shock at the way he completely skipped over the first half of Jack’s statement. “I’m a Time Lord, Jack. I’ve got a fantastic ship that travels through time and space, I think I’d know how to show a woman a good time.”
Jack beamed at his words, grin turning sharp and flirtatious. “A good time? And when do we get to see some of that?” he volleyed back, and the Doctor snorted.
“Rose has seen it,” he mimicked, seemingly finding the setting he was looking for and getting to work on the wires. “The end of the world. We had chips.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jack began, meeting Rose’s gaze with a look of utter consternation. “You mean to tell me that you met the Doctor and his idea of a good first date was to immediately take you to some world-ending crisis?”
“Not just any world-ending crisis, the end of the Earth,” the Doctor corrected impatiently.
“Further than we’ve ever gone before,” Rose added helpfully, sharing a grin with the Doctor. “I asked to go forward, and he wanted to impress me.”
“I’m impressive, me,” the Doctor agreed.
“No, you’re not,” Jack interjected. “She asked to go forward, not skip to the end. You’re telling me that you couldn’t think of a single thing worth showing her between her century and the eventual expansion of her sun and the subsequent death of her planet?”
The Doctor made a face.
“Look, I know we’re all so primitive to you, or whatever,” Jack sighed in exasperation, “but you really have no concept of human romance.”
“Please, I swept Rose off her feet and right into another time. No human could do that,” the Doctor argued.
Rose felt a little bit like she was getting whiplash, personally, and like perhaps she might need to re-examine every interaction she and the Doctor had had since the moment she boarded the TARDIS.
“Literally billions of humans could,” Jack scoffed. “I did better than you, and my ship wasn’t nearly this fancy. Rose,” he turned back to her, clearly switching tactics before the Doctor could get another word in. “If I’d asked you to describe your dream first date, would you ever have said that you wanted to see your planet die?”
“That’s not how it-–”
“Well, no,” Rose reasoned, shooting the Doctor an apologetic look. “But to be fair, I probably would want to get chips.”
“See?” the Doctor snarked, but Jack ignored him.
“Tell you what,” he grinned. “Earth, 21st Century. We’re gonna find out what romance looks like and get this settled.”
“21st Century humans have no concept of romance,” the Doctor argued.
“Oi!” Rose frowned, and Jack scooted over to her and slung an arm around her shoulders.
“See, this is where you’re going wrong, Doc,” he sighed, patting Rose’s shoulder before standing up and walking over to the console. “It’s not about what you find romantic, it’s about what the other person finds romantic.”
“She just said the chips were right!”
Jack rolled his eyes before shooting Rose a mischievous look. "21st Century it is!"
"Ah, no," the Doctor scoffed. "The driver does not agree."
"Yes, she does, isn't that right you sexy old thing?" Jack crooned, stroking the coral and giving the Doctor a triumphant look when the TARDIS hummed happily. "Besides, why not? Scared I'll prove you wrong?"
The Doctor glared, arms folded across his chest in irritation.
“Alright, Rosie,” Jack grinned, flicking a few switches and smirking when the Doctor shot to his feet, readjusting the controls behind him and flipping a few more knobs with a scowl on his face. “Get ready for some fun!”