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Hermione pulled out her phone, going to Reddit as she sat across from Luna. “You were right! That pregnancy fic totally worked him up. He hasn’t walked out of the room when Neville comes over for the last two times.”
Luna nodded as she worked on her rare pair drawing on her iPad. “Maybe instead of internet stalking your husband, you just be more honest in the bedroom.”
Hermione turned a little red as she glared at Luna. “Excuse me if some of us have trouble–”
“Saying vagina?” Luna interrupted. “You know part of a healthy relationship is saying what you want.”
Hermione patted her red cheeks. “Shush. I will. I’m working on it. I read an ABO fic out loud to myself.”
Luna paused and looked up interested. “Did you say all the bad words?”
“Well no–”
Luna gave a disappointed sigh, tapping on the red color with her drawing pen. “Doesn’t count then. You know, I read a really good one recently.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mhmm, a bit too naughty for you probably, but it was me and Charlie Weasley.”
Hermione peeked over at Luna’s drawing. “Charlie, huh? Well. You know there’s not really that many with me and Harry. I mean, the last one was absolutely lovely but maybe a bit too dark for Harry. He’s such a sweetie, you know.”
“Well, I mean, readers kind of like you two very sweet. Except for a few –what was her name? Krystal Madros? Something like that.”
“Oh, I know who you’re talking about! I don’t think I’ve gotten him to read hers, because he mostly sticks to AO3, you know.” Hermione sat back, continuing to scroll. “Just look at this–I mean all these perfectly lovely story types getting thrown in the bin.”
“Hmm. Which ones?” Luna asked absently, working on her shading. She needed the freckles to be just right.
“Soulmate bonds! I mean, who can hate those?”
“It’s a little hokey, Hermione.”
“I like to think we were meant for each other. You know how hard it was—”
“Yes, yes fighting, death, dark wizards. I was there too, you know.”
“I’m just saying I’m not opposed to some of these.”
“Oh well, this one definitely,” Hermione said as she continued reading.
“Which?”
“Nicknames.”
“You don’t like nicknames?”
“Kind of childish, aren’t they?”
Luna paused and leaned forward to look Hermione in the face. “Are you telling me that if Harry called you babydoll and pulled you into the bedroom, you wouldn’t like it?”
Hermione turned cherry red. “Hush! Maybe—well, maybe in certain circumstances. And that doesn’t really count though does it? That’s a term of affection, not a nickname.”
“Don’t be pedantic.” Luna admonished, going back to her drawing.
“It’s not really pedantic, though,” Hermione grumbled under her breath.
“I don’t have a problem with love at first sight, either. That’s kind of romantic isn’t it?”
“You met him at eleven, Hermione.”
“Well, er a crush then.”
“Did you have a crush on him when you saw him?”
“Well, no—but maybe I did during first year—he did save me from a troll, you know. It was quite brave.”
“Didn’t you complain to me later that he asked you for help to get the troll boogies off his wand?”
“You are being unhelpful.”
“Now this one—noble houses–it's quite interesting. I mean not all the bowing and scraping, but just the idea of maybe being a bit of a throwback to regency Britain.”
“So you want a Lord Harry to rescue you, huh?”
Hermione paused, staring down at her phone, remembering one of the fan arts she had seen with Harry placing a crown on her head. “Maybe. Yeah.”
“If I was raised in wizarding society, think of how much faster I could have risen in the Ministry.” Hermione paused for a minute, thinking about how much easier leading Wizarding Britain could have been. Why she probably would have made minister already.
“You probably would have been bamboozled with pureblood ideology, though. You’d be an evil Hermione.”
“Nah. I think I would have seen through it. Or Harry would have persuaded me.” Luna’s eyes met Hermione’s for a moment and they grinned at each other.
“Oh. Is that what you want to call it?” Luna asked, dropping her eyes back down to her drawing. The proportions were just a bit off. She took off some of the layering to resize.
Hermione laughed and scrolled on.
“Harems. Hmm.”
Luna scoffed. “As if you’d ever let him touch anyone else.”
“Well no, not and live. But you know that one fic…”
“Ah, the replicator one?”
“Yes, the replicator one!”
“You know, you really should talk with Harry about some of these things.” Luna’s eyes went over to the drawing room's window, giving a peculiar smile. “I’m sure he would love to find out.”
“Ha. No way.” Hermione muttered, not looking up.
Outside the window, Harry jerked back as Luna appeared to meet his eyes despite the invisibility cloak covering him. The extendable ear he had attached got dislodged and fell in the folds of the cloak.
“Bloody hell.” He whispered, a slow grin spreading across his lips.