That's the laugh

by Corantien

Summary:

“There’s a difference between what you want and what you need.” He sipped from his cup and grimaced. After helping himself to a spoon of honey, he tried again. His eyes closed, and Inej thought he must be used to enjoying the simple things in life. The only things he would allow himself to enjoy. A good meal. A good night's rest. Warm clothes and a hot steaming cup of tea.

“What about what you want? What about what you need?” She pressed.

“You know what I want.” His eyes searched her face hungrily. For a moment forgetting they weren't alone.

“I need you to be happy, and for that, you have to go.”

Inej felt her heart break.

Notes:

Thanks @SilvervFirefly for being my most loyal commenter up-to-date ;-)

Chapter 1: Introduction - Writer needed to ramble (So you can skip this)

Summary:

You can skip this, but it does mention a bit about the things to expect.

Please let me know any tags you think I'm missing as I really don't want to be insensitive or triggering in any way to you lovely people.

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Hi people,

I realize it’s been a while since I’ve written something. Six years to be precise, but who’s counting, huh? I can give you excuses or reasons for loss of inspiration or something. Honestly, life got away with me. I’ve experienced something really traumatic, and I’ve been focused on healing. I’ve never felt the need to write again or even fantasize about tropes or fictional characters. It’s been a hell of a ride.

A friend of mine convinced me to watch “Shadow & Bone” with him, and, though I wasn’t hooked on the Alina character, I felt close to the tormented persons Inej and Kaz. I asked my friend if these two would end up together, and he shrugged and replied, “you should read the books.” F*cking traitor. So, I had a giftcard from Christmas and ordered “Six of Crows” and “Crooked Kingdom.” And the rest is history. I became obsessed after reading their tragic backstories and realizing these guys are canon. It felt safe and good, and before I knew it, I was picturing an after-Crooked Kingdom for them. I started writing little lines on scrap paper lying around on my desk, and before I fell asleep, I thought about these two idiots. 

I thought about how, even as traumatized as they are, they are trying not to fix the other but to help each other. To try. They’re hopeful. They have no expectations. They give them freedom. Independence to make their own decisions and maybe work toward a future where they can be together. Brick by brick.

I’m not dedicating this story to you, lovely readers, or anyone in my family or close friends. Not even to my partner or my beloved cat. I’m dedicating this story to the girl I was before she lived through what I’ve had to live through. This is part of my healing, and I hope you all enjoy the ride.

I have a plot in my head with an end. I cannot promise you it will be updated quickly. I will have good days and bad days, as everyone has. I do not have a beta, and I’m not profiting from this. This will be slow-burn, painful, awkward, and just the kind of bittersweet we may all need in our lives.

I hope you enjoy this, and as always, I remain open to constructive criticism. Still, understand that characters can be a little OOC, and I will rewrite some things as “fix-it,” but as this is a fanfic and it’s my fantasy, I hope you understand and can appreciate it all the same.

No mourners, no funerals.

Corantien

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Notes:

Comments get Kanej faster together. Just try it ;-) Thanks for reading! <3