Chapter Text
The smell of burnt flesh and the sound of screams full of terror was nothing new to my ears, I had long become numb to it all. Nerve of steels, people would often joke. Just like her husband, they would whisper. Doubt had always been wrapped around my marriage with Levi, no one believed we were in love with how reserved and quiet our relationship was. Others hated it simply because of our different upbringings. Eldian scum, Marley whore.
In that moment, none of it mattered anymore because all I could see was Levi dying in my arms. I knew better than to let him fight but there was no stopping that stubborn man when he put his heart into something. Had he been at his full strength, nothing would have gotten in his way of Zeke. The truth was, his entire squad and I knew he wasn’t prepared for this fight. His movements were sluggish from still healing, awkward even as he was attempting to adjust to his injuries after the explosion he suffered from.
“You idiot!” I screamed, gripping his shoulders and trying to pull him away from the ongoing battle. My hands shook violently at the sight of the trail of blood being left behind by his body. He was covered in it; I couldn’t tell where his injuries started and ended. “W-Why couldn’t you listen to me?”
He attempted to speak but his words were cut off by more blood leaving his mouth.
Levi should have missed the objects being thrown by Zeke; he was known for his ungodly speed. Had I not seen him hit by it with my own eyes, I never would have believed it. He was choking on his blood, and I didn’t know what to do but hold him. “Please don’t leave me, Levi!” Fear was enveloping my entire being.
There was a lot that I endured in life, from being trained to be a cold-blooded killer, to being kidnapped and tortured, and falling in love with the last person on this earth that I knew I wasn’t allowed to love, none of that could prepare me for this.
His lips were turning blue, and I couldn’t breathe anymore.
The war was going on around us and my mind couldn’t comprehend how time itself hadn’t stopped for him, for his last breath.
He was the one dying, yet why were memories of our life together rushing through my eyes?
From the first meeting, the butterflies I felt when I first saw him fight. The adrenaline rush of our lips colliding after a heated argument. His hand covering mine in a moment of passion, sweet words of nothings being whispered to each other as we became tangled in my bed sheets. We were supposed to survive this to the end. We had plans of settling down together. Together.
The sunset was too bright, too cheerful for what was happening to me right now. How had everything not ceased to exist? I was furious. Everything in life had been taken away from me. Food, clothes, dignity, even love. I was robbed of too much and yet I would willingly give all of it up again for a simple second more. Just one more damn second.
“Please…” I begged, clinging to his lifeless body and pleading to no one and everyone for just a second.
He didn’t deserve this. None of us did, truly, and I knew it was bias, but Levi deserved to die peacefully.
Everything was too much. The ground rumbled from blasts, but it would not eat me whole.
In a burst of emotion, I looked to the sky and yelled with my soul for the universe to take me too. Take me with him. Take me with him.
“LEVI!” I screamed loud enough for the entire world to hear me.
Finally, as if gifting me with some form of solace, the sky began to cry with me. It started as little drips barely covering the ground to quickly drowning us all, obscuring everything.
Nothing could erase the image of his dead eyes staring back at me.
Not even the loud crack above us that flashed so bright it blinded me instantly. My brain wasn’t comprehending things clearly but if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that what I had seen was not lightning. For a dreading moment I thought someone was turning into a titan above us and I was about to be killed. Then I felt at peace knowing if that was the case, at least I would be with Levi again. Then I felt it, the striking hot flash of light hit me, and the world finally went dark.
“That’s clearly our symbol…but the outfit is wrong.”
“She looks a bit different from us, doesn’t she?”
The voices sounded far away but I knew that wasn’t true.
“She’s moving!”
“Hello, can you hear us?”
“What’s your name, Miss?”
Too many voices. Too loud.
“Levi…” I whimpered, keeping my eyes shut against the too bright sun.
“Huh?”
“Did she say who I think she said?”
“No way.”
Someone was jabbing my side with a stick, the feeling irritating me instantly.
My throat felt hoarse, similar to how it used to when we were forced to train in hot weather with no water for hours.
Endurance over all.
The mantra had been instilled in the brains of all Marley soldiers.
A foot tapped my side, shoving me slightly. “Hey, get up now and explain yourself.”
The demanding, gruffy tone that I had imprinted somewhere deep in my soul was the breath of fresh air that my lungs desperately needed as I broke through the surface of fog keeping me dormant.
I take a big gulp of air, coughing as if I had been drowning. My eyes take a moment to adjust, but when they do the first thing I see are his. A smile spreads across my lips and my arms instinctively wrap around his shoulders, pulling him to me.
“I…I don’t know what’s happening but I’m so glad I found you.” I tell him, joyful tears streaming down my cheeks.
A frown forms on his familiar lips as he immediately tries to separate us, keeping me at arm’s length with a questioning look.
“Who are you?”
I open my mouth to answer him and then instantly close it. “Who…who am I?”
Crippling fear overtakes me as I realize I remember certain things but not everything. My mind felt like a book that had pages ripped out, burned, and some words missing. Marley…I lived at Marley, but I’m not allowed to tell him this. I made my way here on a boat with three other soldiers on a mission…Levi is…
“Hey, are you deaf? I asked you a question.” Levi stands, looking down at me.
It takes me a second to realize we aren’t alone. We’re surrounded by a group of kids all wearing the same uniform. Out of all of them, my eyes stop on three regarding me with more caution than the others. Marleyans, I was sure of it, but I didn’t know how I knew this.
I knew I had to be careful with what I said because I was definitely on enemy territory yet glancing down, I was wearing a similar uniform to theirs. Whereas theirs was brown and white, mine was black and green.
There was an itch in the back of my brain that I was missing a lot of information.
The sound of blades being removed from the device on Levi’s waist catches my attention, the tip of a blade pointed directly at my throat. “I won’t ask again.”
“I…My name is Asuka. I don’t know where I am, or who I am. I know my name and I know your name, Levi.”
Everyone is regarding me with skepticism. I couldn’t blame them; I knew I looked and sounded crazy.
“Stand up.”
I follow his order, my eyes scanning the group of soldiers around us again. One of them in particular stands out to me more than the others, a tall and broad blond, who keeps eyeing me back like he’s secretly trying to communicate with me.
Levi is quiet, staring holes into my skull as a million things jump around in his head. After some awkward minutes of dead silence, he finally sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No one speaks of this. Until I know more, you’ll come with me. Cadets, get back to training.”
Looking at my surroundings more, I realize that this area does look like training grounds. Dummies are lined up, tables with equipment are placed nearby. In the distance I see buildings made of wood and stone. It was strange how unfamiliar everything felt, yet a part of me knew this place once. I was sure of it.
I follow behind Levi, only a small amount of distance between the cadets and us when they break out in hushed conversation about all the different possibilities about who I could be. They were all taking turns coming up with theories, except for the three that I somewhat vaguely remembered. They watched me walk away with a silent reminder that they would find me later and get to the bottom of this. I wasn’t sure if the idea of having Marley comrades here during this confusing time was good or not.
It bothered me to my core that I didn’t feel comfort in my comrades but rather this stranger whose name I could remember even in death. Why?
I caught him glancing at me every now and then as we continued to make our way towards the buildings. He thankfully didn’t ask me anymore questions.
It wasn’t long before I found myself entering a building with flags containing the same Wings symbol that I wore, clearly an important place. I blindly follow Levi to a room where I’m met with another tall blond, his icy blue eyes analyzing me the second I stepped through the door.
Levi shuts the doors behind us, and my hands begin to sweat. The man standing in front of me was intimidating to stare at.
“Levi, who is our friend?”
A familiar tch comes from Levi as he crosses his arms and glares at me, “she says her name is Asuka and claims to not know anything besides her name and somehow mine as well. I was training with the cadets when we heard a noise and…she was just lying there. I don’t know what to make of this, Erwin.” His frown deepens.
The man – Erwin – continues to assess the situation. I feel somewhat violated as he gazes at me from head to toe. He then looks at Levi, his face neutral and giving nothing away to what he was thinking. “You brought her here instead of turning her over to the police, can I assume you trust some of what she says?”
Levi also puts up a poker face, my eyes going from one man to the other as I try my hardest to decipher the telepathic conversation they were clearly having.
“Are you married, Asuka?” Erwin questions, eyes staring at my hand.
Only after he points it out do I feel and see the silver band on my finger, the briefest memory of Levi sliding the ring on my finger flashing in my mind so fast it gives me a shock. I shut my eyes against the minor headache forming, rubbing my temples before nodding, “Yes, I’m married to Levi Ackerman. I’m…Asuka Ackerman.”
Both Levi and Erwin look at me with dumbfounded faces.
I point to Levi, “You gave me this ring. I’m married to you.”
Again, they look at each other and have a silent conversation that I’m not part of.
Erwin clears his throat, “Perhaps…maybe it’s possible that Mikasa has a relative that you’re confusing Levi with.”
Levi nods, “Yes, because I’m just Levi.”
I shake my head, the throbbing in my brain increases as bits of information filter through. “No…it’s you. You’re a distant relative of Mikasa. Kenny is – “
Levi’s eyes harden as he shoves me against the wall with enough force that I taste blood in the back of my mouth. “Who the hell are you? How do you know that man?”
I feel helpless. How could I convince these two that I was who I said I was when I didn’t even know who I was? Just thinking it is confusing.
“Levi, I honestly don’t know what to tell you. My name is Asuka, I’m married to you. I – I missed you. Terribly. I don’t remember anything else. I’m aware that none of this makes sense, okay? I know you have no reason to believe me, and you can throw me to the police if you want to.” A rippling surge of fear courses through me at the thought of being put in a cell but not because of being imprisoned – a part of me felt like I had endured that too at some point – but because I didn’t want to be separated from him.
“Please…do what you want but please just don’t leave me.” I beg, my hands grasping his arm for dear life.
Erwin breaks the tension, clearing his throat again. “Levi, I think we should hear her out. Clearly, she knows you, I suggest we continue to keep this matter quiet until Asuka is able to remember more. This may be a case of amnesia.”
Levi lets me go, crossing his arms again and frowning as he keeps his gaze on mine. “Amnesia wouldn’t explain why she’s dead set on believing that we’re married.”
Erwin seems to question that too.
I was surprised that neither of them had questioned that I could be a spy from Marley. Did they not know about Marley?
Erwin shrugs his shoulders, concluding, “I think we give Asuka some time to try and remember things so she can give us some proper answers. If you agree with me, then she’ll be under your care until that happens. If you disagree, we can hand her over to the police and let them deal with her.”
For what feels like forever, Levi is silent and pondering. My heart is hammering in my chest with anticipation as I await my fate. Levi strides over to me and for a split second I worry that he’s going to shove me into the wall again. Instead, he reaches for my hand, taking the ring off my finger.
A part of me is being taken away from me as I watch him put the ring in his pocket. “Wait! Don’t take that from me, it’s mine!”
He shakes his head, “Until we know more about you, I’m going to keep it with me. Stop running your mouth about being married to me. You aren’t my wife. You aren’t Mrs. Ackerman. From now on, you’re simply Asuka.”
I almost wished he had just hit me instead. I couldn’t comprehend that this man was my husband yet being told I was simply Asuka left me feeling cold. Like I was truly alone in this world.
He doesn’t look remorseful in the slightest.
“I know you’re in the middle of training with the cadets, so I’ll have her with me until you’re finished.” Erwin states.
Levi doesn’t need to be told more than once. He leaves instantly without looking back at me.
Erwin points to a bookshelf by his desk, “Can you read this language, Asuka?”
I nod my head after scanning the different titles.
He grabs a somewhat thick book and hands it to me. “Take a seat, maybe learning a bit about our history here will help trigger some memories.”
I do as I’m told, sitting in a wooden chair in front of his desk and opening the dusty pages. Erwin takes his seat and shuffles through papers, occasionally scribbling down words.
It feels like hours past that we silently coexist in the room, my eyes becoming heavy. We are on Paradis Island; these people are known as Eldians. Titans roam this island and are killed by elite squads when they get too close to the walls. Eldians are protected by these walls. I learned information on the type of squads there are, the way the walls and cities are sectioned off, ODM gear was briefly mentioned, some famous names of people I didn’t know. It all seemed like useless information that wasn’t helping.
Pretty soon the words become a blur and all I can focus on is the sound of Erwin writing.
*
A cold breeze makes me shiver. Levi pulls me closer to his chest, wrapping the blanket around us tighter. I can’t take my eyes off our clasped hands, silver bands on both of our fingers. We’re sitting on a hill with our backs against a sturdy tree, star gazing.
“Tell me something about him that I don’t know.”
Levi’s thumb caresses my hand as he too stares at our rings. A sad smile adorns his lips as he thinks of his fallen comrade. “Erwin wouldn’t have believed it, that’s for sure. Hell – sometimes even I still don’t. He and I once spoke about the idea of marriage or settling down, I think a part of him always knew that life wasn’t going to be for him. Damn bastard, always had a death wish.”
I can’t help but grin at that because it truly sounded like Erwin.
“He would always joke around that I’d find someone someday and I’d finally put my blades down and retire. I told him he could go to hell with that idea, there was only ever one path I saw myself going towards.” Levi shakes his head, continuing, “Surviving was my only way of living. I never imagined…well I know if the bastard was still here, he’d go everyday reminding me that he predicted this.”
I try to keep the sorrow off my face as I look at his ODM gear carefully placed beside us. “Well, he was right about some of it.”
Levi tenses beside me, his eyes following my trail to his gear. “Retiring isn’t something we can do; you know that better than anyone. Someday, when all of this is over, we’ll put our blades down.”
I bite my lip to keep my emotions in check. I nod, “I know, I don’t need to be reminded that we’re soldiers above all.”
Levi frowns, grabbing my chin to make me look at him. “You’re not a soldier above all. You’re my wife. Mrs. Asuka Ackerman, humanity’s second strongest soldier.”
Our lips connect like magnets.
*
“Asuka?”
A gentle shake to my shoulder startles me awake. I sit up in the wooden chair, looking between a concerned Erwin and a hard stare from Levi.
“Are you alright, Asuka?” Erwin asks, handing me a handkerchief.
Its then that I realize I had been silently crying. A dream, it was a dream, right? I wipe away the tears and avoid Erwin’s eyes. How could I look at him after that? I knew deep down what I had seen wasn’t a dream.
I stand on shaky legs, taking a steady breath before looking at both men. “I don’t know how to explain this, but I believe I’m from the future, or perhaps I belong to another universe that is ahead of this one.” I put my hand up to keep them from interrupting me. “I remembered something. We end up in a war much bigger than simply titans, though I can’t remember all of it. I think I was given a second chance…to save you.” I look to Levi but then turn my gaze to Erwin, “I think I’m supposed to save all of you.”
Neither of them knows what to say to this.
“I need time, I think I’ll start to remember more, but there’s one thing I know for sure.” I stand toe to toe with Levi, no longer fearing rejection from the man standing before me. “I am Asuka Ackerman, I am humanity’s second strongest soldier. I will save you if it’s the last thing I do, now give me my ring back!”
I didn’t have all the answers, but I knew I was going to do things different. Erwin wasn’t going to die, Levi wasn’t going to die, there would be no war. I had to make sure of it.