Work Text:
A long time ago, far, far away . . .
Two kingdoms—the Kingdom of the Light, and the Kingdom of the Dark—both alike in dignity, strove together in enmity. Many a year saw blood shed in their quarrel. Yet, in the passage of time, Kylo, prince of the Dark, was struck by Cupid’s bow and lost his heart to Reyna, fair princess of the Light. Theirs was a love forbidden, but unrivaled.
When Kylo determined to take Rey to wife, their love was met with vehemence from both peoples. How could the Dark and Light wed, when nature determined they were yet enemies? But twined were they with a red string of fate, willed of the Force. So together, the star-crossed lovers stood unshaking and persuaded their realms to bury their strife, for an alliance would strengthen their arms and form a brave new world.
Thus a marriage contract was signed.
Envoys and kinsmen of both kingdoms would bear witness to the marriage bed, that the lawfulness of the union might be proved and certain. The ancient custom was wrought with much discord. Some shunned it as archaic; others eschewed it as a door to voyeuristic depravity. The royal couple, also, balked and pleaded against it. In their love, they regarded the gifting of their virginities as a sacred covenant to share only betwixt themselves. But alas, the voice of tradition prevailed and the matter was settled.
The marriage bed would be viewed and verified.
Thus, in their displeasure, the prince and his princess conspired in secret to avenge their grievances.
Together, they would give their loathed, voyeuristic audience a performance they would not soon forget.
And so begins our narrative . . .
A midsummer night saw the nuptials unfold. The fairies blessed the union as the bridegroom held his lady’s hand in reverent worship. When the solemnities were concluded, the couple retired to the bridal chamber. Their guests stood silent ‘round the marriage bed.
”My lady,” hailed Prince Kylo, presenting his hand. “Join me. Please.”
”My lord,” said Princess Rey, joining their hands together.
Kylo brought Rey beside the bed and admired her in her ivory cloak. ”Art thou an angel?” lauded he. “Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? For thou art fair, sweetheart; the very crystals of Kyber envy thy beauty. This night, we bring a new order to the galaxy. ‘Tis time to let ancient things die.”
”My brave prince,” replied she. “I would not wish any companion in the world but you. A red string of fate doth bind us, as the Force decreed. I see the mystery of your loneliness, and will solve it.”
”You, in my respect, are all the world. Then how can it be said I am alone?”
”Thou art not alone.”
”Neither art thou.”
Kylo sat himself upon the bed. Rey stood before him. The lookers-on held their peace and readied themselves to observe. The affair would doubtless be conducted with all haste. Kylo would lie with Rey under the sheets and take her in dutiful expedience.
”Sit upon me,” commanded Kylo, patting his thigh. Rey so sat and Kylo smelled her perfume. “Thy fragrance is sweet. But hark, I smell something amiss. What wicked odor is this? It smells to heaven.” His hand slid to feel her nether parts. “Art thou so wet already? Hast thou been obedient?”
She stirred. ”Indeed, I have.”
Disbelief was on his face. ”Hmm, methinks that is a lie. Thy waters pour forth as the floods of Kamino. Now speak truth, sweetheart. Didst thou touch thyself?”
With a brush of his fingers, a moan sprang from her lips. “O, pardon me, my love. ‘Tis true, this morning, I took myself in hand and enjoyed.”
”Thou art a villainess! How poor are they that have not patience. Thy pleasure is mine, yet thou hast rebelled. And now, how shall I be avenged?“
”Have mercy, I pray thee. Something within me hath always been there, but now it’s awake. My desire for thee hath brought it to life. And I need help.”
”Hapless Rey, whom the fates have marked to bear the extremity of dire mishap. Vengeance is in my heart. Thou hast need of a teacher.”
”Experience is the teacher of all things.”
”Then experience thou shalt gain. Hold, therefore, thy tongue, vile wench, and kneel before me.”
Rey knelt upon her knees before her master. The witnesses felt unease envelope them like a shroud of darkness. What untoward behavior was this?
“Thou hast sinned, harpy,” said Kylo. “What’s done cannot be undone. But now must I put thee in thy place.”
”Indeed, I need someone to show me my place in all this,” Rey breathed, bowing herself at his feet. “My sin is great.”
Kylo hummed. “And what is thy sin? Confess it now.”
”I confess I partook of mine own hand.”
He put his hands upon his loins and unfastened himself. The horror of the witnesses was great when Kylo’s male member sprang forth. Was the prince to be thus shamefully exposed? Should he not rather wait until he and his lady were covered?
”Master,” said Threepio, servant of Kylo’s grandfather. “Privy, wilt thou lie with thy bride hence and make haste?”
But the man and his bride gave no ear to the plea.
“What brought this disgrace upon thee?” inquired Kylo.
Rey looked upon Kylo’s thing before her nose. ”My poor body, my lord, requires it.”
Kylo clucked his tongue. ”Address thou me with a name not mine own, trollop? Nay, but thou shalt call me by my true name.”
”Pray forgive me . . . Daddy.”
A groan slipped from Kylo’s lips. “O, speak again, bright angel!”
”Daddy. Daddy.”
”Yes, I am thy Daddy. Hence, be thou my good girl and give me thy mouth.”
”But thy murderous snake is so big.”
”Fair Rey, flesh stays no further reason but rising at thy name.”
“But will thy risen flesh not break my jaw?”
”Fear not. Thy mouth will open like the exogorth’s and please me well.”
”Boldness be my friend.”
”Well do I know thy boldness. Hast thou envisioned pleasuring me?”
”Aye, Daddy, oft.”
"Be great in act, as you have been in thought."
”I’ll try.”
”Do, or do not; there is no try. There is only to do, but talking isn't doing. Words are not deeds. Hence put thy words to deed and dine at my banquet.”
Rey was quick to do as she was bid and put her mouth upon Kylo’s manhood. The audience felt faint. The prince and princess had gone mad!
”Ah, yes,” breathed Kylo, taking hold of Rey’s hair. “Hollow thy cheeks. Use thy tongue. Thy lips are honeyed poison and I embrace death with open arms.”
”If poison my lips be, my throat is fire.”
”Then swallow me down thy portal and send me sweetly to Mustafar.” With a mighty thrust, he was deep within her moist cavern. “Yes, yes, like that. Fist me tight. Squeeze.”
”Maker have mercy on us!” pleaded Threepio. “Wilt the princess be treated like a whore?”
But again, fruitless words fell upon deaf ears.
”Relax thy throat and suck deep. Aye, nymph, and deeper . . . Deeper still. Chug, chug, chug!”
Rey moaned vile noises. Spittle was sliding down her neck. Her master’s countenance was flush with delight, but he soon put forth his hand to halt her performance.
”Cease, strumpet.”
”But thou wast soon to finish,” whined the bride. “My cherry lips have kissed thy stones. Now I desire to quench my thirst with thy nectar.”
”Thou art unworthy. Revenge should have no bounds. We’re not done yet.” With strength like the mighty rancor, Kylo grabbed Rey and tossed her upon her stomach, across his lap. “To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor—it blots thy beauty. And therein lies my need to tame my shrew.”
Rey’s back curled. “Thou lovest thy shrew. Thy hardness bears witness to thy lust.”
”I deny it not.” He lifted her cloak, uncovering her bum to his gaze. “My bride—though she be but little, she is fierce.”
”Then let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. But reward me, rather, with thy touch.”
”Here is thy reward.” He knapped her skin.
”Ah, please, Daddy.”
”Greedy Rey, I’ll strike thee again, and harder.”
Knap!
”Daddy, you strike like the blind man. Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.”
“Thy fountains drench my lap, but thy wickedness still abounds.”
”Thou sayest I’m wicked, but I see through the cracks in thy mask. Thou art haunted. Thy desire for me doth plague thee.”
Smack!
“Why rebuke you him that loves you so?”
”Do you not know I am a woman? When I think, I must speak.”
”Art thou indeed a woman? Let me confirm.” He put his hand full upon her womanhood. “Aha! It’s true, all of it. Thou art a woman, but what woman? I asked if thou wast an angel, but now methinks thee a succubus. The devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape."
”Thou hast discovered my secret,” said Rey, lifting her cheeks higher before his face. “The tempter or the tempted, who sins most?”
”Let us find out.”
Without further ado, he fell upon her flesh, painting it red with his waspish hand. The disgust of the witnesses was such that some were sick upon the floor, and others were frozen as statues.
”Thou art a bad, naughty girl. Say it. Say it.”
”I’m a bad girl, Daddy! Thou makest my privy parts so moist.”
”These privy parts?” He thrust his fingers betwixt her legs, salivating for her ambrosia. “Ah, yes. Thy petals weep for me. The dark side is in our nature. Yield to it.”
Crack!
Rey’s body quaked. ”Harder, Daddy, harder!”
”Thou knowest I can take whatever I want. And now I see thou dost crave release, paramour, but shall not find it.”
”O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied? Thou art a difficult man.”
”Have patience and I’ll show thee the dark side.” He stood upon his feet and took hold of Rey’s ivory cloak to rend it in twain down the middle.
Rey allowed her garment to fall away. ”Wilt thou uncover my maiden body, and not cast off thine own cowl also?”
”Why, what an ass am I. A plague on me for depriving thine eyes of mine eight-pack.” He did as his lady bid and bared himself. “Behold and look thy fill.”
”Thou art a monster,” lauded Rey, placing her hands upon his chest. “Nay, a beast.”
”Doth this eight-pack please thee?”
”Aye, much. Thy pecks are hard as Muntuur stone.”
”But feel what is harder.” He put her hand upon his member. “See how I suffer and leak upon thy fingers.”
”Kriff, how great is thy size, Daddy! I’m afeard to take thee between my legs.”
”Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”
”But will thy greatness be too much to thrust upon me?”
"Can one desire too much of a good thing?”
”I say nay.”
”Then come kiss me, sweet."
Their mouths collided. Their tongues ventured forth to do battle. Must even kissing be in such vulgar fashion, wondered the lookers-on.
”I will love thee well, Daddy,” said Rey when she breathed again. “They do not love that do not show their love. Hence lie with me on the bed, that I may part my thighs for thee.”
”Parting is such sweet sorrow.”
”Art thou sorrowful that I part my thighs?”
”Not sorrowful for thy thighs. Only sorrowful that I have not patience to wait until we are under the covers. I must have thee now. It’s time for me to impale thee with my long sword. Wouldst thou like that?”
”Aye, Daddy, aye. Draw thy long sword and thrust me through.”
Rey leaped upon her husband. Kylo caught her with her legs around his waist. He aligned himself. With one sharp stabbing, their bodies were joined. Kylo kept still, then lifted Rey and beheld the red flowers of her virginity upon his shaft.
”Hark, what delicious sight is this,” groaned Kylo.
”If you prick me, do I not bleed?”
”Aye, and bleed well as my horn pounds thee.” Kylo’s brute strength was such that he had no need of support from a wall or a table. He only stood upon his legs and lifted and lowered Rey with his arms. “O happy dagger! This is thy sheath! Ahhh, little one, thy scabbard is so wet and tight. I knew thou wast a loose skirt for me. Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it."
”I have a woman’s might, and by my venom thou art slain. Thy stones with lime and hair knit up in me.”
Their loins did battle. His balls made impact with her posterior with each lunge. Their liquids dripped down his legs. Her breasts bounced freely.
“Force, I throb for thee!” said Kylo.
”Ngh, thou art a stallion!”
”Then giddy-up and ride thy horsey, harlot!”
She whipped her arm in the air. ”Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho!”
“Yes, ride me hard. Take it like a good little come-basket. I must fill thee with my seed. Women are made to bear, and so are you. This ram will tup his white ewe and breed her.”
”Aye, aye, aye! Give me thy seed, I pray thee, Daddy. Make me with child.”
“Of thee shall I be made a proud father. I’ll keep thee with child and thy breasts full of milk, that I may drink of them nightly.”
”Gorge thyself on my flesh now, Daddy. Come to my woman’s breasts. Put thy mouth upon them.”
”Aye, let me suckle thy berries . . . Mmm, thy flesh is sweet and ripe. Look at my bad girl. These be her very C’s, her U’s and her T’s. And now, come. Come for Daddy!”
Rapture was swift to rain upon the lovers. Their bodies raged in conquest and were drenched. Their cries of sound and fury could wake the dead. But soon peace descended.
Weakened by pleasure, Kylo sat upon the bed, still deep within his bride. ”Now I am dead,” said he. “My soul is in the sky.”
”I kissed thee ere I killed thee.”
They looked then upon their witnesses. Most had fled away. Those left were like dead men upon the ground.
Kylo and Rey were victorious!
”Well done, sweetheart!” hailed Kylo. “Force, what fools these mortals be. But vengeance is ours.”
"We came, we saw, we conquered.” Rey’s smile shone blinding. “They say all lovers swear more performance than they are able.”
”They lie. We are able, and our performance hath been a triumph.”
”Aye, my prince.” She stirred. “And now, I desire thee again. Come, be buried a second time within these arms.”
Kylo was pleased. ”Why, there's a wench! Her wanton spirits look out at every joint and motive of her body.”
”Thou partook of my tongue. Now please me with thine.”
”What, with my tongue in your tail? So let thy wish be my command. I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes. Come on, and kiss me, Rey.”
She kissed him. “I love thee.”
”I know.”
Brevity is the soul of wit. But the Bard himself could not put to word the scars born by the witnesses. They slept not one wink after that night. Fain would they have plucked out their eyes to unsee what was rudely stamped upon their memories. For my part I say the gentlemen drank themselves out of their five senses.
Hence was it decreed that royal marriage beds need not be witnessed. Those who desired privacy would be left alone. Fear gives intelligence even to fools.
For never was a story of more whoa than this of Rey and her Daddy Kylo.