Chapter Text
John Thornton paced back and forth the length of his office. His brisk stride and restless manner exuded a nervous excitement that filled the small room. He frequently paused his pacing to regard and gently touch various objects in the room; a yellow rose in a vase on the windowsill, a folded letter in an envelope in the center of his desk, and a small cactus on the edge of it.
The cactus happily watched John moving around the room. What a marvelous day it's been, Cactus thought. How fortunate I am to have this unexpected time with John! He does not usually return to his office this late in the evening. But naturally, he must have missed me too much and wanted to see me again. What a wonderful treat!
As Cactus watched John continue to pace, it began to feel some concern. I think John seems rather agitated. Could something be wrong? Oh dear, what could be bothering him? I must do something to calm him. Yes! I will cheer him up! I'm very good at that. Cactus was quite pleased with its new plan.
Growing tired of pacing, John threw himself down into his desk chair. He sighed and glanced at Cactus. He reached out and idly started stroking his index finger over the plant's tiny prickles.
Cactus shivered with pleasure. There's nothing better than when John brushes my bristles. See, John? Aren't you feeling better already?
"One more day…" John whispered. "One more day and Margaret will be my wife."
Oh, so that's the problem. No wonder John is so nervous. He will soon have to have a wife! I imagine that will be a great deal of trouble. Poor John.
But really, it's not so bad. John and I love Margaret! After all, she purchased me from the Great Glasshouse in London, and she introduced me to the most wonderful man in the whole world! Yes, we love Margaret. Then why is poor John so anxious? I'll have to remind him he loves Margaret, too. He must have forgotten.
"Oh, little cactus…" John sighed. "I never imagined she would love me. Will I truly make her happy? I'm so afraid of disappointing her. She could have any man she wanted… she could do so much better than me."
Oh, I see the problem now… John must be drunk! He has obviously been overindulging in the brandy. A woman do better than John Thornton? Ridiculous. Such a man does not exist.
John leaned his elbows on his desk and rested his head in his hands. "Margaret," he murmured. "My darling Margaret. Oh, my love… Will I be able to be the man you need, the man you deserve?"
Oh, silly John. There is no woman alive who could possibly deserve you. With John's head lowered, Cactus could just reach him to run its tiny bristles softly through John's hair. Cactus sighed happily, reveling in having John so near.
Suddenly there was a knock on the office door. John raised his head. "Come in," he called out. Oh dear, who is this? Who is interrupting my private time with John? Cactus's spikes shook softly in annoyance.
The door opened, and Margaret Hale hesitantly stepped into the room. "Good evening, John…" She gave him a shy smile.
John stood up abruptly. "Margaret…"
Cactus sighed. Just when I had all John's attention to myself… But at least it's only Margaret. Perhaps she can help me cheer John up! Yes, she can help him feel better about getting married. He'll see it won't be so bad. He'll still have me, after all.
"Margaret, what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to see you, John. I… I hope that's all right." She took a few steps closer.
Totally understandable, Margaret. Who wouldn't want to be near John all the time?
"Of course, darling." John quickly closed the space between them. He took her into his arms and pulled her close. "Is something wrong, my love?"
"Oh, John…" Margaret sighed and laid her head on his chest. "No, nothing's wrong. It's just… Oh, I don't know."
"What is it, Margaret?" He pulled his head back enough to look into her face. "Please tell me."
"I suppose I've been feeling a little restive… I think I'm a bit nervous."
Well, of course she's nervous. She knows she can never be as good as I am at making John happy. But it's not her fault. How could she be? She's not a cactus.
"Nervous, darling?" John looked down at her with concern. "About the wedding? I'm sure it will all go smoothly. You know my mother would never tolerate anything less." He smiled at her wryly.
"I know, John… no, it's not the wedding. I think… I think I'm a little worried about what comes after the wedding."
"After the wedding?" John's voice suddenly sounded rather low and rough.
"Yes… about being your wife."
"You're worried… about being my wife?" Now John appeared alarmed. "Margaret, are you having second thoughts about marrying me?"
Oh dear, Margaret's drunk too! Now she's sounding totally crazy. Who would have second thoughts about marrying John Thornton?
Margaret looked shocked. "Oh no, John! No, of course not! Nothing like that. I want to marry you more than anything. I love you so much, John."
Obvious relief lightened John's expression. He wrapped his arms more tightly around her waist. "I love you too, Margaret. More than I can possibly say. Then what is it, dear?"
"Oh John…" Tears suddenly appeared in Margaret's eyes. "John, I'm not good enough."
"Not good enough? What is this? Margaret!" John tenderly traced the tears running down her cheeks with his finger. "Margaret, my darling…"
Suddenly he scooped her into his arms and carried her across the room. He sat in his desk chair and settled her in his lap, her head cradled against his shoulder. He ran his hand softly up and down her back, soothing her sobs.
Oh Margaret, don't cry. Cactus hated to see Margaret upset. Don't be sad. Of course you're not good enough for John, no one could be. But you're still a quite lovely person, and John loves you. And so do I.
"Not good enough… Margaret, dearest, it's all right. There's nothing to worry about. I've got you, my dearest."
"Oh John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry all over you."
"Margaret, you can cry on me all you like. But what is this all about? How on earth could you think you're not good enough? My darling, it is I who am unworthy of you."
Now, John, really. What on earth have you both been drinking tonight?
"John!" Margaret appeared shocked. "Unworthy? You could never be!"
Well at least now she's finally talking some sense.
He gently brushed his fingers along her forehead. "Sweetheart, what is it? What has brought this on?"
"Oh John…" she sighed. "It's just … You are one of the most important men in this town. You are the master of Marlborough Mills, a magistrate, a leader of men… everyone looks up to you. And I am… Well, I know I can be outspoken… You need a proper, well respected wife. Just look at what happened at your dinner party. I'm afraid … I'm afraid I will be an embarrassment to you."
John looked at her in amazement. "Margaret," he said firmly, "you could never embarrass me. Do you not understand… I do not want you to change anything about yourself; not your opinions, not your generous heart. I love you exactly as you are, Margaret Hale, soon to be Margaret Thornton. I may not always agree with you, but you are your own incredible person, an extraordinary woman, and there is nothing I will be more proud of in my life than to be your husband."
Margaret gazed up at him, tears gathering once again in her eyes. "Oh John, I will be so proud to be your wife."
John bent his head, brushing his nose against hers, and gently met her lips with his own.
There now, see, l made them both feel better. What would they do without me here? Cactus discreetly looked away from the lovers and hummed a little cactus tune, quite pleased with itself.
Some time later they sat cuddled together, Margaret in John's lap. She ran her fingers up and down his forearm. Her eyes wandered to his desk and the small plant resting there. "Oh, the little cactus!" She reached out and touched it softly. "It looks very well on your desk. It is blooming quite prettily."
Cactus beamed. Why, thank you, Margaret! I think pink is my color! You are looking rather lovely today yourself.
"I think of you every time I look at it, and the day you gave it to me. The day we learned of our love for each other." John lightly brushed his lips over hers. "I love you, Margaret."
"I love you too, John."
And I love you both. Cactus sighed contentedly. They made such a good threesome.
John's nose grazed Margaret's forehead. "You know, when you said you were nervous… I thought you meant about tomorrow night."
"Oh…" Margaret blushed deeply. "Oh, I see."
Tomorrow night? Cactus considered. What is happening tomorrow night? The night after the wedding… Oh, that's right, I do remember John mentioning his wedding trip to the seaside. And Margaret is nervous about it? Perhaps she is afraid of the water. That's understandable. Too much water is quite scary. Cactus shivered its bristles at the thought.
"Are you nervous, darling?"
Margaret bent her head, and John nuzzled her hair. "Not … nervous, exactly." Her fingers delicately played with the buttons of his waistcoat.
"No?"
"No… I think…" Margaret shyly lifted her eyes to his. "I think I'm rather impatient for it."
John's eyes flashed at her. "Margaret…" He let out a tremulous breath. "I have been much more than impatient for it since … well, since before you accepted my proposal."
I'm impatient for it too. Cactus was eager to participate in the conversation. Imagine a whole week by the sea! It will be lovely! Of course I know I will be going too. John hasn't mentioned it yet but he couldn't possibly want to take a trip without me.
"But, Margaret… I believe it is different for a woman… You are certain you're not worried?"
"No, John…" she smiled up at him. "I trust you. I love you. And… I love being here, in your arms… The way I feel…" Her fingers traveled up to his neck and slipped under the edge of his cravat. "I am not worried. I am … eager to be your wife," she whispered. John bent and kissed her fiercely, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer.
And I am eager to be your cactus. Cactus smiled and happily hummed its cactus tune. All was right in its world.