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Shigaraki never knows what to do or say when he catches you in the act.
Whether he’s sitting, standing, or lying down, he always remains stiff and silent each time you reach out for one or both of his hands. He isn’t sure how to respond to your habit of studying them—if it could even be called that. Truthfully, he still isn’t too sure what to label it as.
Some days you would trace and other days you would simply hold. Your quirk makes you immune to the effects of other quirks, and you’ve taken strong advantage of that in your relationship with him. Shigaraki knows that you aren’t afraid of resting your palm flat against his or linking your fingers together.
He just doesn’t understand why you do it.
Right now, you’re at it again, gently cradling his free hand while he uses his other to swipe through his phone. You have a soft look on your face, one that he still isn’t used to seeing even after all the time you’ve been with him.
Shigaraki glances up from the screen to see you lightly trailing the pad of your index around the shape of his palm. It’s a ticklish sensation, enough to make his fingers twitch. A smile graces your lips, and he immediately returns to looking at his phone once you lift your gaze to him.
“Why do you do that?” he finally asks, seconds after you give his fingers a squeeze.
You let out a hum, bringing his hand close to your chest and allowing him to feel your warmth. “Do what?” you question, rubbing your thumb over his knuckle.
Shigaraki sighs through his nose, letting his phone slip from his grip and fall on the mattress. He gives you his full attention, focusing on you and your strange antics. “Always touch my hands so kindly.”
His expression becomes somewhat pinched as you tap each of his fingernails. There isn’t a sliver of disgust in your eyes, just that same shine you usually get when you’re with him. Having it being directed at his hands of all parts of him fills him with uncertainty. “Doesn’t it bother you?”
The slight rasp he speaks with has you looking up, watching him with confusion you don’t voice. Your silence prompts him to continue, and he does so with a conflicted pang in his chest. “I’ve killed so many with my hands,” he says, eyeing the faint cuts and scratches on his skin. “I’ve hurt plenty every time I use all five fingers.”
Shigaraki becomes unsure as you intertwine your fingers with his, your actions done with purpose and little to no hesitation. It doesn’t make any sense to him. “Why do you just…” Touch? Hold? Caress? He isn’t sure which word to use, too plagued by the thoughts swirling around in his mind.
You give him another smile, shifting closer to him on the bed. Your grip on his hand tightens a bit, giving him a tiny sense of security. “I do it because I love you,” you tell him, your words soft but firm.
He’s quiet as you give him another squeeze, a pleasant heat forming and spreading down to his wrist. “I wouldn’t be here with you if I worried about what you did with your hands and power.” You lean forward, placing a featherlight kiss on his knuckle. “Your hands are a part of you, and they deserve just as much love as the rest of you does.”
Shigaraki takes in your patient explanation. He doesn’t object to the kisses you give to each of his fingers, nor does he say anything to the brush of your cheek against the back of his hand.
Even after you’ve told him to his face, he still has trouble comprehending it all. You can see it in the way he stares down at your conjoined hands, practically hearing the gears in his brain turn but not quite at the pace he wants. It will take more time for him to fully accept it, to properly welcome your love without having to ponder about it. But you don’t have an issue with that.
Shigaraki might not know how to respond to your affection right now, but because you love him, you’re willing to wait for as long as it takes.