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Obi-Wan glared at the Master. The Master glared at him.
Several remarks could be made here on things such as ‘respect to elder Jedi’, ‘anger is not the Jedi way’, ‘respecting others cultures and species quirks’ and even a ‘maybe this is why we need to give our younglings proper in-depth healthcare checks so things like this don’t slip under the kriffing radar.’
Unfortunately, it was the last one that seemed to be on the tip of Master Che’s tongue.
It wasn’t that Obi-Wan wanted to bite the Master Dooku’s hand when he had frowned and grabbed Obi-Wan’s face to check his teeth which were growing a bit sharper than a baseline human’s should but… well… he did want to a bit, so he did.
“Why have I been called?” Madame Nu demanded with all the patience befitting a Jedi of her station (Obi-Wan felt like a little bit of sarcasm was fitting for this extremely stressful situation he was in).
“Jocasta,” Master Che looked like she was about to have a meltdown soon. “Have you ever heard of a species from the planet ‘Stewjon’ or is that something else I have to smack someone over the head about?”
Madame Nu’s face made a weird scrunch of confusion and bafflement, “There’s no such planet named ‘Stewjon’ in our recorded Galaxy, Vokara.”
Master Che made a noise of pure Twi’leki distress, her lekku twitching violently. The three human masters (or, near-human in Master Jinn’s case) didn’t even hear the high-pitched whine, but Obi-Wan, who was apparently not baseline human, heard and turned to her in concern.
“Who the KRIFF found Obi-Wan Kenobi on their Search?!” Vokara Che looked extremely distressed– close to violent, actually– and Obi-Wan belatedly wanted to reach out to comfort the poor woman who was having a very stressful day. “WHY has NOBODY realized that the boy isn’t human ?!”
“What?” Madame Nu looked on in confusion.
“I’ve been marked down as baseline human in my records for my entire time with the Jedi, but turns out, I’m not. Master Dooku noticed that my teeth and jaw weren’t baseline human standard, or near-human standard, and I may have bit him for touching my teeth.” Obi-Wan tried to explain for her.
“Which I had to come to the Halls because my hand became numb,” Master Dooku was not very happy with that fact.
“I’m sorry Master, but I have the impulse to bite down on strange hands near my mouth, I’m sure you can understand,” Obi-Wan wasn’t all that sorry about it, and it was instinct, like clamping down on prey.
“No, I cannot!”
“At least the numbness explains why that Tradosian fainted when you bit him,” Master Qui-Gon mused, not very bothered by the proceedings around him. Though, now that Obi-Wan reflects on it, Master Qui-Gon wasn’t very bothered at all about any of the ways he had subtly shown that he was a completely different species than his master thought.
“It’s just bacteria in his saliva, Master Dooku, calm down,” Master Che hissed. “We have more pressing matters! WHO managed to find a brand new species in this child and then DID NOT log it!”
Madame Nu’s eyes narrowed down onto Obi-Wan with the words ‘brand new species.’
“DNA patterns never seen before! A pure DNA mix that suggests that he appears baseline human only due to coincidence rather than any inbreeding! Teeth and jaw of a predator species like Togruta, but the stomach of an omnivore like Humans, with skin made to weather many harsh conditions like Twi’leki, and lean muscle strength twice the average of a near human species!” Madame Che kept muttering to herself as she analysed the scans she was monitoring.
“Let me,” Madame Nu grabbed the pad that held Obi-Wan’s original intake form and typed her code in. “Handed to Temple Guard Chixon the Temple steps by Master Lucas of the ExploraCorps.”
She frowned, “Master Lucas explores unchartered unknown regions.”
A pause.
Both dignified and very respectable Jedi ladies started swearing. Loudly.
Master Windu walked in, rubbing his temples, escorted by young Knight Depa Billaba. “Master Che, he has a mi–”
Young Knight Billaba stopped, looked on wide eyed at the scene in front of her, and very wisely turned on her heel and escorted her Master out with a hasty “Nevermind” thrown over her shoulder.
Obi-Wan sincerely wishes he could join them.
Master Qui-Gon, ineffable as always, turned to Obi-Wan and said, “Well, I do suppose this explains why you’re the only one whose ever managed to eat Master Yoda’s Swamp Stew.”
Obi-Wan kinda wants to bite him too.