Chapter 1: SCATTERBRAIN
Summary:
Title from KXLLSWXTCH.
Notes:
Random: this first chapter is going to have a lot of similar description and dialogue to the original chapter 3 from Looking For A Fight. That's because we literally copied and pasted the chapter and then changed it to fit the new situation.
As such, if you think you've read this before, it's because you have- just with a new and exciting twist.
Chapter Text
Soap is bored out of his fucking mind, but at least Roach is right there with him. Both of them bustling with energy.
They’re two days into their stakeout and nothing has really happened. There’s been the occasional delivery, people coming and going for work, but nothing suspicious, nothing condemning, nothing that would give them the go-ahead to move.
Soap’s about to start climbing the walls. He’s a foot Soldier, a mover, a fucking explosives expert. He’s not meant to sit on his hands for days on end with nothing to entertain him but the occasional chatter over the comms and the one or two sentences he speaks to Roach when they swap shifts. It’s mind numbing and leaves him feeling itchy, ready to fight. Ready to do something .
At first he tried to entertain himself with joking on the radio, but Price shut that down quick, reminding them that this was a fucking mission and not play time. Like he doesn’t know. The things these people are doing are disgusting, but until he can get his hands on the motherfuckers he feels useless. Pent-up. He’s gonna fuck Simon so hard when this is over, or maybe they’ll switch it up for real.
He glances at his watch, Roach should be coming to get him soon, for their swap over, he just needs to make it to then and maybe he can sleep a few extra hours instead of running himself dumb with boredom.
The door behind him cracks open. “Little early, aren’t you Roach?” He doesn't move from where he’s aimed down, watching his sightlines. But when Roach doesn’t answer he goes to turn, see what’s wrong.
That’s when something cracks across the back of his skull and he’s dropping to the floor. The blow doesn’t knock him out but he’s dizzy with it, black spots pulsing in his vision. He just barely manages to get on the walkie. “Simon-” before there’s a hard kick to his ribs and someone speaks in Russian.
“заткнись к нему!”
He wheezes out a breath over the open comm line unable to suck in enough air to say anything else. Then, the butt of the rifle in the man’s hands bashes across his face and he drops into the darkness.
-
Ghost’s frozen, where he was crouching to trade spots with Keegan. Keegan’s equally as tense, hands flexing on his rifle. In the same movement they shift to the north, staring down their scopes. It could be, not nothing, not nothing with the way Soap’s voice had cracked on the radio, the burst of background noise, then radio silence.
Keegan calls for Soap, and Roach, repeating the call. Nothing. Keegan swears under his breath, and Ghost tries to shove the screaming thing in his chest down. The bond is still there, muted, but there.
“I can feel him- unconscious maybe.” It’s shit reassurance, barely anything. But Keegan nods slightly.
“Watcher, you have any eyes in the north? We may have a situation here.” The whole team is on this channel, they all heard that.
Price’s voice comes over, “we’re shifting position here, trying to get eyes on.”
-
Laswell heard it too. The way Soap’s voice called for Ghost, the spatter of Russian words, the impact of something hard hitting a man in the face. She’s cycling the video feeds trying to find something that lines up with Soap and Roach’s overwatch position.
She can’t get a perfect line of sight but enough to see one of the vehicles they’d identified as the snatcher’s rigs making a direct line to the hospital. Oh God no. Please. “All teams this is watcher. Negative on visual on the north team. Be advised, vehicle identified as Sierra One exiting the area, returning to the hospital.”
The radio is silent in her hand. Price’s voice is the only one to answer her. “Roger that, Watcher. Ghosts, circle around, meet us there. Let’s go check it out.”
Laswell, is 90% sure Soap and Roach are about to be in that fucking hospital. She doesn’t know which one she’s more worried for at this moment.
-
Ghost and Keegan are quick breaking their long rifles down, making their way down from the rooftop they’d been camped out on quickly. Ghost is equal parts grateful and horrified it’s Keegan here with him. On one hand, Keegan has slid right back into his position from Ghost Team. A sharp eyed shadow at Ghost’s side. On the other hand, the people they love, their Mate and imprint, are missing. Very best case scenario is missing. Worst case scenario, Ghost is about to watch Keegan lose his happy ending before he even gets it. And his- Ghost shuts that train of thought down before it leaves the station.
The spare mask in his pocket feels like it weighs a hundred pounds. When they get to the northern position, depending on what they find- Ghost is going to hand Keegan that mask, and they’re going to burn this fucking city to the ground.
The bond is still muffled, and almost limp in his mind. They’re fast, sweeping through the terrain as they make their way north. Not fast enough.
Gaz comes over the radio, “Ghosts we have eyes on you, proceed to the location, be advised no movement on our side.” Mirror images, Keegan and Ghost key their radios twice. Affirmative, without saying a word.
Ghost leads the way into the building that he had helped them pick. There’s nothing on the first floor, dusty furniture and emptiness. The second floor- nearly empty. Except for a messed up sleeping back, scuff marks on the floor near it. Scattered remains of an MRE thrown across the room.
Keegan drops to his knees at the sleeping bag, nostrils flaring. Ghost knows the schedule, and Keegan does too. But-
“Roach- nothing but sleep and boredom. He didn’t- he didn’t wake up.”
Ghost twitches, choking on that fun fact and clears the rest of the rooms. Calling over the radio. “Get over here now. Roach was asleep when they hit. He’s gone.”
Keegan’s still kneeling by that sleeping bag. Ghost clears his throat, they have to move. There’s a sharp breath and the Alpha nods, rising to his feet, fingers dragging over the place where Roach slept. They stack up and push up the stairs to the roof access door.
-
Keegan’s fucking terrified of what they’re going to find up there. His instincts are screaming, his Omega is missing. Taken so fucking fast, that Roach didn’t even wake up. Didn’t even get the chance to fight back.
Soap was awake. Awake enough to radio for help. An unbonded Omega was an obvious target to take. A bonded Alpha? If they find Soap on this roof he’ll be injured. And Keegan will have to choose between medic and Alpha.
Riley opens the door and they both explode out onto the roof.
No Soap. Fuck. Thank god.
Riley, makes it to the rifle lying abandoned near the edge, the only sign that Soap was ever here at all, drops to his knees and reaches shaking fingers out to it. Keegan’s heart breaks, even as some part of him is grateful. A horrible guilty gratitude. Soap was taken, too. Which means Riley will be with him. When they go after these fucking animals.
There’s the promise of violence in Riley’s eyes, and Keegan shows him his teeth. Meeting that promise with one of his own. They go together. Either they get them back, or go down as Ghosts.
“Watcher. Rooftops clear, Soap isn’t here. He’s been taken, too. We have two MIA.”
Keegan creeps forward, careful, and crouches in front of Riley. As much as this hurts - and god it hurts- he didn’t bond Roach. Still has just a scrap more clarity than his Lieutenant does. It’s a blessing and a curse. They have no intel on what this group does with bonded Omegas. Or bonded Alphas. But he didn’t find Roach’s body, and he’s clinging to that with all he can.
“They wouldn’t have taken him just to kill him, Riley. We’ll get them back. Together. We get them back. ”
-
Soap has no idea how long he’s been out when he finally comes to.
His eyes blink against the blinding light of the room he’s in, desperately taking in details. He’s in one of the hospital rooms, no windows so he has no idea what floor he could be on. He’s sitting up, in a chair that’s bolted to the center of the floor, hands and legs strapped down, gear gone. He can’t move.
Careening his head he finds a bed off to his right. Roach is there, unconscious and handcuffed to the metal bedframe, he’s been stripped down to his shirt and pants. On his left is a door, probably a bathroom, since the one directly in front of him is the exit. It’s been replaced with a steel door, and an impressive lock.
He’s about to tip his head back when the smell hits him. He chokes on it, gagging. The air is heavy, thick, with the smell of in-heat Omegas and rutted out Alphas. There’s the bitter tang of fear and anger mixing, cloying with it.
It’s an assault on his nose and he feels like Gaz as he sneezes.
Suddenly the bond lights up and he groans in relief, sending as much as he can through it. Safe, for now, confused, a little hurt, but mostly okay. Simon has to be freaking out by now and he just hopes that he makes it out of here before anything too bad can happen. He doesn’t want Simon to feel that.
Groaning from the bed draws his attention and Roach is moving, jerking up when he feels the restraints keeping him pinned.
“Soap,” and he sounds out of it, probably has a head injury too. “What happened?”
“Bastards pushed in while you were sleeping. I didn’t see them, couldn’t stop it.”
He wants to apologize, but before he can there’s heavy footsteps outside the door, and he snaps his gaze to it, watching as the sound of a key in a lock processes before the steel is swinging open. One of the men who knocked him out earlier is there, an Alpha, along with a Beta he doesn’t recognize.
The second Russian, the Beta, has a briefcase. Like some fucked up action movie villain.
Soap watches as he pulls the case open, resting it on a small table by the bed. From his seated position he can’t see what’s inside but after only a few seconds the man pulls back with a syringe. The liquid inside is a sickly orange yellow, and even from here it puts off the tangy scent of chemicals. Chemicals and Omega.
He leaves the case, heading for the bed, and Roach loses it. He kicks out at the Alpha with everything he has, something close to a snarl rising up in his throat.
Soap and Roach are both shouting, throwing threats and Soap’s pulling at the bonds so hard it hurts. “Get your fucking hands off of him ,” he growls, threatening, and the Alpha ignores him.
The Alpha grabs Roach by the back of the neck, scruffing him and Commanding him. Soap doesn’t know what he’s saying, it’s not in English, but Roach whimpers and goes still, eyes shining with tears. The man sneers and says something else that has those tears falling.
Soap feels sick, sick and helpless. That’s Pack being commanded, being scruffed. He’s not dumb, has a good fucking idea of what they’ve got in the syringe and it’s bad bad bad. He shrinks away from the bond, doesn’t want Simon to get any whiff of what’s going on here.
The Beta is stepping forward now, hands sliding over Roach’s shoulder to steady him before plunging the needle into the part of his neck not covered by a hand. He starts to shake as the contents depress, letting out the most heart wrenching noise Soap has heard, including the one Simon made in the kitchen.
Soap’s so fucking angry, angry and helpless and when he gets out of this chair he’s gonna blow up this whole fucking building, the whole fucking country.
The Alpha releases his grip and Roach drops, scrambling on the bed as far away as he can get. Then the Beta is returning to the case and pulling out another syringe. This one is a bright and brilliant blue, almost shining. This one smells like Alpha.
Same as before, the first man goes to grab him by the next, tearing his shirt away from his collar, but then he freezes. He says something, gesturing to the Beta who comes over. A hard nail digs into the imprints of Simon’s teeth on his neck. “You are mated? Yes?”
Soap grits his teeth, fuck these guys they don’t get to know. More Russian and the hand leaves. The two argue and the needle goes away. Soap does not like the looks passing between them.
The Alpha comes back, leans into his space and blows his disgusting breath over Soap’s nose. “No matter. Won’t be soon.” And what the fuck does that mean?
The man pats his face and Soap snarls, going to bite at the offending hand. It earns him a hard smack but nothing else. “See you soon.” The Alpha teases before steering the Beta out the door. Next to him Roach is still shaking, whimpering, and shit, he already smells like pre-heat.
-
Roach’s head is fucking killing him when he finally swims back into consciousness. All he can remember is whispered Russian and then pain.
He goes to rub at his face and finds one of his hands restricted. Opens his eyes and jerks up. The first thing he sees is Soap, tied to a chair in the center of the room. The smells of the hospital hit him then and he flinches, bile rising up in his throat. Fuck.
They talk briefly and he gets a quick rundown of what happened but before he can really say anything, come up with a plan, the door is opening. Roach doesn't take his eyes off the Alpha that enters, hardly processes the Beta at all. As soon as it’s clear the Alpha is going to try and touch him Roach fights, using every dirty move he knows while he’s half sprawled backwards and locked to the bed.
It’s not effective and he gets scruffed. Everything shuts down as he’s forced to submit, tears springing into his eyes. Then he gets Commanded, and even if he can’t understand the words he recognizes the order. His tears spill over as his body stops fighting, against his will.
It’s going to happen again. Again . After he finally got soft and loving, after finally seeing what it could be, he’s going to be hurt again. He finally experienced having a choice and now it’s going to be taken from him in the worst way possible.
Roach wonders if Keegan will still want him after, or if he’ll finally see him for what he is: broken, used, dirty. Ruined .
Because Roach isn’t dumb. He can smell the heats, the ruts, knows that if the team doesn't come get them that he’ll hit one in a day or two and then he’ll be lost to his instinct. That even if the Alpha scruffing him doesn’t rape him right now, in front of Soap, that it’s going to happen eventually.
If they continue to keep him in this room with Soap it’ll kill them both. A bonded Alpha won’t mate him, but his Omega won’t care and it’ll tear them both apart. And once they realize Soap won’t mate him? Roach knows they’ll find another Alpha, one who will.
The Beta enters his peripherals with a syringe that smells like Omega and Roach can’t do anything as the liquid enters his veins.
The change is immediate and he shakes, letting out a pained and terrified whine as his entire body goes hot. His scent spikes hard and then he’s being released, the Alpha’s iron grip lets go and he scrambles away.
Something is happening now with Soap but Roach can’t be fucked to care, his Omega is screaming already, demanding an Alpha. There’s slick already building and he shoves a hand in his mouth to stop the whine, biting down hard and pulling his knees to his chest. Assuming a protective position. Then the Beta and Alpha are leaving.
Soap says something to him and Roach flinches away, can’t- look at him. The bond scent is strong in his nose and it’s ripping him apart. Soap’s the only Alpha who can help him but he won’t , can’t, not with the bond. Keegan isn’t here, his imprint, the only Alpha Roach wants, but he’s not sure how long he can hold onto that connection. They’re not Mates, and depending on what was in that syringe, Roach might not be himself much longer.
-
Next to Gaz is Price. He’s tense, so fucking tense he looks like he might pull a muscle in his neck. This is more than a mission gone wrong, more than just a missing Soap and Roach. This is injured and taken Pack, family. If Laswell is correct and that truck has them, they need to get to them. Need to get into that fucking hospital and get them out before those sick fucks can turn their family into a mindless shell of himself. Before he becomes something they don’t recognize.
Fuck.
Gaz’s gut twists in fear as he waits for Price to give them their next orders. “Meet up at the bug back point. We’ll regroup and replan. Then, we get our fucking men back.”
They’re up, packed, and out of their building in two minutes, hightailing it across uneven terrain with Laswell’s steady guidance.
Gaz is overcome with guilt, it compounds as he walks. Overwatch is his job and now, for a second time, he’s failed to keep his team safe. Now Roach and Soap are in the hands of those sick fucks and he wouldn’t blame Ghost and Keegan at all if they hate him for this, if they yell and scream and tear out Gaz’s throat. He’d deserve it.
-
Price gets to work before Keegan and Ghost make it, laying out what little floor plans they could find for the building and marking entry and exits. There’s a million different ways they can try to do this, but in the end only one of them will get them Soap and Roach back, and they have to figure out which one before it’s too late. He goes back and forth with Laswell while Gaz pulls security, waiting on their final two team members. Price has narrowed down their options considerably by the time they show.
The captain, not the pack leader, lays out the plan.
It's a bit risky, but it’s the best one they’ve got. In the little abandoned gas station they’re going to launch from, the stockroom is their new planning room. Ghost is a shadow in the corner, the only thing he’s said is that Soap isn’t dead. Who knows what else he’s getting from the bond.
Keegan is wearing the fucking mask again, damn near a carbon copy of Ghost. He’s got no idea what’s going on with Roach, there’s no bond to give him anything at all. Good or bad.
Price hopes for all of their sakes that Roach is okay, that Soap stays okay, or nothing will go right.
“Alright. Our plan here, is to make a fucking commotion. Laswell’s trying to get us any assets in the area, but we can’t count on them. We’re gonna let it get dark, in about an hour or so, and then approach from the East. It’s got the most cover and leads us to this door here-” He points at what used to be the emergency room ambulance access.
“As soon as we breach it’s going to be chaos. We’re going to move as a group, one team right after the other. To clear our way to the security room on the ground floor. From there, we locate Soap and Roach, kill all personnel including lab workers. If there are other people being held captive we release them. There will be a team here in three hours to pick them up and get them to actual medical care. Soap and Roach come with us. Keegan and Ghost are the point of the spear, they have the most experience in situations like this. Gaz, you’re with me. We’re cleaning up behind them, watching their back, and scouting for intel. We’re gonna be mics hot once we’re inside, Laswell monitoring.”
Price adjusts his stance. “This is a rescue of our own. I’m not going to demand professionalism out of you. Just stay fucking sharp.” The temperature in the air around Ghost and Keegan is dropping rapidly, like their anger has become such a physical force it’s sucking the heat out of the room. “Gear up.”
-
Ghost can feel Soap, vaguely, in the bond. There had been a burst of feeling down it maybe half an hour ago, anger but no sadness. And now it’s faded out again. Soap’s still there, but keeping his emotions from the bond. Ghost can think of a million reasons why that might be, and all of them make him want to scream and level that building.
-
Riley had handed Keegan a mask, as soon as they started pushing to the rally point. Keegan had taken it like the lifeline it was. Taking everything he’s feeling, and trying to sort through it. His Alpha is pacing the back of his mind, and Keegan’s barely keeping it contained.
Every piece of him that belongs to Roach gets locked up. Boxed away. The feel of Riley’s shoulder against his gives him a focal point. Like traveling back in time. To a briefing room before Vegas.
He lets the rage build. Instead of trying to contain it. For every bit of anger he lets slip into his scent, Riley’s rises to match it. Gaz and Price are both glancing at them occasionally, but Keegan doesn’t spare any of his attention to them. The only thing he wants to hear from Price is the go ahead. So until then. It’s him. And his lieutenant. Their shared fear and pain and anger.
Keegan takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. Opens them hollow, empty. A Ghost. The person he was before coming to the 141.
-
Ghost can smell it, the second Keegan falls into the mask. The softness that’s been tempering his scent vanishing. It’s like standing next to a pile of bloody knives. Ghost lets it pull him in too. This is a rescue mission, possibly the most important one of their lives. And with the two of them deep under their masks, there’s no chance it fails. Either they bring Soap and Roach back, or hope that Price packed a shovel and a compass.
They move as soon as the sun has dipped below the horizon, tearing across the terrain and entering the building where Soap and Roach are waiting for them.
-
Keegan slips into the comms room right on Riley’s heels. The first floor of the hospital had been fairly empty. Five guards, none of them got a word out, every single one dropping to knives or silenced pistol shots. Neither of them had lingered. None of the guards had seen death coming for them, in matching skull masks. Keegan’s slipping further and further into himself. ‘Follow Riley. Find Roach. Find Soap. Follow Riley. Find Roach. Find Soap.’
The security room has every feed focused into a set of rooms that all looked the same, empty of furniture except for beds and chairs loaded with restraints, stains that could be blood or worse in the grainy black and white.
Riley makes a low noise of disgust and starts digging through the papers on the table. “Clear, come up.”
There’s logs, lab reports, and what looks like case studies piled on one side of the table, Keegan moves for those. By the time the rest of the team makes it to the room he’s frozen, putting the pieces together, knuckles white with how tightly he’s holding a file marked ‘Success’.
-
Price patches Laswell into the cameras, to get some sort of overwatch in this shithole. Gaz very slowly and carefully comes up beside Keegan, easing the files out of his hands. Keegan takes two steps back, away from those papers. Sliding back into his position at Ghost’s side. Price hates this. He may not have known Keegan Russ as long as he’s known Simon Riley, but they’re both regressed so hard, he’s terrified they’ll never get them back.
-
“What is it Gaz?” Gaz flinches at Price. I don’t want to tell them this. Don’t make me say it. Even if Keegan had already read most of these, Ghost hadn’t. Saying it outloud won’t make it any more real, but it still feels like it’ll be permanent. Like Gaz is personally condemning Roach, his brother, and Soap, if he puts these words in the air.
Price feels for Gaz in that moment, he does. Whatever is in that folder has Keegan’s hands trembling, and Gaz’s eyes are wide. But they have to know. They have to know what’s happening here, to Soap, to Roach. His kids.
“Sir- they’ve. They’ve successfully combined the suppressant reversals with the compliance gas base. It’s- they’ve figured out how to force a heat…” Gaz trails off, avoiding Keegan’s flat gray eyes and very pointedly does not look at Ghost. “Or a rut. They’re- it’s a breeding program. Sir. The- the people they took, they’re forcing them into their cycles and then- those rooms, on the cameras. They’re the breeding stalls.”
Price, wants to throw up. Oh god, Soap. A bonded Alpha. Forced into a rut without his partner is bad enough, but to lock him in a room with a strange Omega? Soap will do anything to avoid touching that Omega. That Omega. It might be Roach. Taken at the same time, compatible secondary genders. Two Packmates, one bonded, one imprinted. Both forced into-
Price clenches his jaw so hard he can hear the squeak of the crown on his back molar.
-
Ghost twitches, focusing on something that isn’t his own brain, killing, or Keegan for the first time since they’ve left the gas station, “The bond?”
Gaz looks back down at the file in his hands. “Unclear. They’ve got notes here, but nothing concrete.”
Ghost nods, turns away from the table, and collapses.
The bond flares like a supernova, a flood of emotion Simon can’t even begin to figure out, just the pure sense of Johnny. And then it vanishes . It’s like blood loss. The way it drains the heat from his body.
Simon slams into a wall in his own mind, digging for the bond. It’s not- it’s not there. He can’t feel it. He can’t feel Johnny. Simon drags his mask off, gasping desperately for air. “He’s- I can’t feel him. I can’t- Johnny. ”
Simon gags, turning his head just enough to not throw up on his own hands. He’s gone, he's gone, he's gone. Simon’s alone in his own head. Alone.
Someone tries to touch him, he snarls, swiping at them with a knife. Another person grabs him, deflects the knife and slams his shoulders into the wall.
-
Keegan knows. In his bones. When Riley drops like a puppet with it’s strings cut. He’s seen it before. The loss of a bond is always devastating. He can’t- think about the implications. Riley’s throwing up on the floor, Soap is dead, and what that means for Roach.
Blocking the sloppy stab Riley sends his way, Keegan does the most selfish thing he’s ever done. Heads off the bond shock that might literally kill Riley. Grief so strong his brain will tell his body to give up. Weaponizes it.
Killing a bonded Alpha makes sense, in a horrible way, for this place. Roach is an unbonded Omega, too much of a prize to waste. So Keegan takes his best friend, and turns him into a weapon. He’s not the first person to do this to Riley. He might be the last. Hates himself for it. But he needs Riley, needs that feral hate and rage. To save Roach.
Soap. Keegan could have had a brother. Dead and gone. Keegan’s using his loss as a tool. Promises himself, once they find Roach. He’ll send him out with Price. Keegan will bring Soap out. A corner of his brain helpfully informs him which way Scotland is from here. Nearly directly west.
Soap’s grave will face the setting sun.
Keegan blocks another swing from the knife and slams Riley into the wall. Getting in his face. Committing a horrible sin.
-
Simon’s teeth clack together with the force he hits the wall. Keegan is staring at him, “Then avenge him. Get off your ass Riley. Mourn fucking later. Killing those bastards is first. And- Roach. Pack. He’s yours too.” The grief and pain twist, rage flaring. The people who did this- who killed- who took Johnny. They’re going to die. His lips curl, peeling back to show his teeth. Keegan meets that look with a snarl of his own. And shoves his mask back into his hands.
Pulling the mask on tapes Simon’s broken pieces together just enough to acknowledge revenge.
Simon’s dead again. Ghost can avenge Soap. Can save Roach. The feral haze rises in his brain. He lets it.
Ghost moves .
-
Keegan hesitates for a just a second. “Price, with us. I need you to- Roach has said no to Alphas before and they didn’t listen . I can’t let that happen again. Have to protect him. But you have to protect him from me. Don’t let me be the one to hurt him again. If the imprint takes me. Put me down. Sedatives in my bag, or kill me. Save him. From them, and from me.”
-
Price doesn’t even get a chance to try and stop Ghost. And then Keegan breaks his fucking heart even further. “Keegan fuck- go with him. I’m on your six. I won’t let you. We’re getting Roach back. I swear, I won’t let you force him.”
He doesn’t believe in any gods, but prays to them anyways. That Soap didn’t die for nothing. Price- is pretty sure he’d been killed over the bond. Because even a forced rut can’t make a bonded Alpha mate a different Omega. Prays he doesn’t have to kill Keegan to protect Roach. Has a flash of the wrecked training room, the metal lockers torn into pieces by Keegan’s hands. Knows how hard the imprint forces Keegan’s instincts. Hopes he can get the sedatives in him, before he has to choose between Keegan’s life and Roach’s safety.
Keegan’s gone before Price gets out of his own head, hightailing it after Ghost.
“Gaz- with me. Laswell has our back.”
-
Hours later, when the Beta comes back, alone, Soap is very very tense. Roach has been whimpering and crying for at least an hour. He’s well into his heat now, skin flushed red and sweaty, eyes glazed. He bit his lip so hard Soap can smell the blood, can see it on his chin, eyes closed as he presses himself hard against the wall. The imprint and Soap’s bond is probably the only thing keeping him from begging for Soap and he wishes there was something he could do apart from offering the gentle words of reassurance and Pack that he has been.
The scent of the heat has been rising up, but it’s not his Omega, isn’t Simon’s scent and instead of doing anything good it’s making him feel nauseated. His teeth hurt from how hard he’s clenching his jaw. His Alpha is screaming at him, telling him to get the fuck away from this in-heat Omega, but also yelling to help his Pack, protect him from this pain, the repetition and contradiction of it all is bouncing through his skull.
But then the Beta comes back and it’s worse.
The feral grin that the Alpha wore is not present on this Beta’s face, but his eyes are cold and hard. Clinical. There’s no humanity in them. He doesn’t even attempt to speak as he produces a third needle. This one is white, thick like milk. He doesn’t torment or drag it out, just drops the needle into Soap’s skin and sends it into his veins.
Every part of his body lights up, ringing Simon, Simon, Simon , and then, like equalizing pressure everything explodes. He can feel it when Simon is ripped out of his brain, the bond gone, taken from him . Leaving nothing but emptiness, black darkness, nothing but him. Alone. Unbonded. Unmated.
The roar that he releases is painful, loud, full of everything that tears through his synapsis like fire. Burning away every part of him that Simon ever touched. It’s so violent that the Beta startles, pulling back, and Roach opens his eyes, tears shining.
He’s been trying to escape since they left him here, wrists raw and bloody from where he’s been pulling, but now he goes back to it with a renewed fervor. Pulling and tugging and ripping until his shoulders scream from how he’s damn near ripping them out of socket.
The Beta hits him hard . “Quiet now.” And the man’s voice is almost soft. It makes him angrier. But then that needle is back, the one that will send him down down down so far into his own Alpha he’s not sure he’ll be able to stop from betraying Simon, to stop from hurting Roach, to stop himself from doing exactly what they want him to.
“Please,” he begs, “don’t.” And he sounds scared, terrified, defeated . And he is, because Simon had to have felt that, had to have felt Johnny rip out of his brain too and he probably thinks he’s dead. Had probably told the team that these assholes killed him.
The Beta shushes him again, an almost gentle touch to his cheek as he sends the liquid into Soap’s neck.
It hits right away, lighting fire up inside of his bones. His eyes dilate, his nose flares, his breathing picks up. His mind is hazy, but he’s still there, he’s still in his head, he’s still in control. For now.
“Good, good Alpha.” Very deliberately the man pulls out a knife and stalks forward. He presses it to Soap’s neck before undoing his left hand from the bonds. Then he’s stepping back. “Enjoy.” It’s the closest to cruel this man has been, and then he’s leaving.
Soap tears at his restraints, getting his arms free and then his legs. He pushes off the chair and to the door, grabbing the handle and yanking with everything he has. It doesn’t budge and he curses. Then, from behind him, a whine.
He can’t stop himself from turning, eyes focusing in on Roach and where he’s shifted on the bed. Uncurling from his protective position. Every single piece of his brain is telling him to go, the rut is coming on so fast he feels dizzy with it, hands flexing as he imagines soft skin under them, his teeth grind and he can almost feel them sinking into Roach’s neck. He’d have a bond again, wouldn’t be alone, this, this, this Omega could give him that.
He takes a step forward before jerking back, breath hard as he forces it out his nose. “ No, ” he growls, outloud. “ Simon .” He reminds himself, tucking back into the far corner of the room, back away from the door, as far as he can get from where Roach is now scenting the air, heat smell spiking as his Omega processes an unbonded and in-rut Alpha.
“ No. ” He repeats it, again. Then Simon’s name, grounding himself in it even as everything in him screams for him to get up, to mount, to claim. He won’t, he won’t fucking do it. Won’t betray Simon, won’t hurt Roach. They’ll have to actually kill him, because he won’t.
-
Roach is aware that there’s someone else in the room with the Alpha and him. The bonded Alpha who keeps talking to him in a soft and comforting tone, a Pack Alpha who is both helping and hurting with his presence. The person who enters isn’t an Alpha though, so Roach keeps his eyes shut and his face buried in his knees. Barely aware of anything apart from the pain tearing through him.
He’s gone through heats alone before but he’s never been trapped with an Alpha scent he can’t have and it’s killing him. It’s so bad he can’t even think to touch himself, all he can do is sit on the bed, desperate and hard and leaking, and hope his Alpha shows. His Alpha , and Roach is aware that he’s not mated, not bonded, but he knows there’s an Alpha out there somewhere. One that he wants to help him, not just one that his Omega will settle for.
Roach can’t think of his name, but the scent of steel and grass tickles his memory and he lets out a little sob.
Then Soap is roaring, screaming, loud and pained and Roach reacts to the Pack bond, lifting his head and trying to find what’s tearing his family apart.
Immediately upon lifting his head he smells it. Unbonded Alpha. Pack or not, there’s an Alpha here who can help him now, and he whines a bit. Mind fuzzy and confused and lost, sinking deeper into his instincts. He watches a Beta do something else, a needle in skin, and then a fresh wave of scent rises up and sharpens like a knife.
An Alpha in rut , right in front of him.
The Alpha moves away from him, heading for the door and something inside Roach snaps, Omega screaming. He’s going to be left alone when there’s a perfectly good Alpha not five feet away? No.
He pulls at the handcuffs, whining loud and needy right at the Alpha. The man turns, eyes wild and takes two steps towards him before- before saying no? Roach whines again, begging out loud. The Alpha snarls, snapping a name that Roach knows but couldn’t tell anyone why. Then the Alpha is moving as far away as he can and tucking himself into the corner of the room. Roach throws his scent even harder, ripping at his bindings and smelling fresh blood as the metal cuts into his wrists.
Another Alpha rejection during a heat, and Roach can feel himself losing the fight with his Omega. Can feel it dragging him down.
For a very long time he whimpers and cries and begs, trying to get closer but unable to get off the bed. The Alpha flinches at every sound he makes, scent spiking a few times, but remains seated on the floor. Roach is very slowly losing his mind, every second that passes while he’s tormented by the scent of available Alpha hits him with stinging rejection. It compounds over and over, ready to tear his mind in two, until something sounds from the hallway.
The scent of another Omega rolls in and Roach snarls, sound tearing apart his throat. There’s competition for the Alpha now and Roach will fight for his right to be claimed.
And then, right on the heels of the Omega is a different scent, a different Alpha. Carrying with him the smell of a field and spent rounds from a magazine. A scent Roach knows almost as well as his own.
His Alpha .
Roach pulls even harder, eyes darting to the door as he lets out a pathetic sound, worse than anything he’s ever heard himself make before, and then the door is flying open.
-
The first living person Ghost sees dies fucking bloody. Ghost hits the man from behind, sinking teeth in the back of the man's neck, through his mask , the man screams, and Ghost grabs his mouth with a gloved hand, hooking fingers into the lower jaw and pulling until an awful crack echoes off the tile. Ghost drops him, not dead, but Keegan steps up and coldly fires one round into the head and ends it.
They move, Ghost hits them first, always biting, sometimes using his knives, and everytime he looks, Keegan is there, fatal blows to finish the job. Ghost can smell him. The knife sharp pain and anger feeding into his own. Every person Ghost kills drives them both higher, taking away more and more of independent thought, until Ghost is just a thing. A knife with a bloody blade, and Keegan’s hand guiding him.
After climbing the stairs they round a corner into a new hallway, the scent of pain and suffering staggering Ghost for a second before he grabs it, feeds it to the rage and makes it his own. There’s a Beta standing at what was once a nurses station, briefcase by his feet, writing something down. Ghost takes him down with a leg sweep, slams the back of his head into the ground, hand wrapped around the man's eyes and forehead, and snarls.
“Where?” Keegan's voice is ice.
The man laughs, and spits at them, “too late for little friends. Sweet, sweet Omega, sad and angry Alpha.”
Ghost bites his fucking throat out, teeth sinking in and ripping his head back in one smooth vicious movement. The man gurgles, fear rising off of him like mist. Keegan, reaches down, dragging his fingers through the wound and over the man’s face, giving him a bloody smile. They leave that one to suffer.
Keegan opens a door, Ghost clears the room. Killing four more men as they make their way down the hall. Lab coats soak up blood in their wake. The last four rooms are the worst, heat and rut and pain and despair, clouding Ghost's brain even further.
Keegan directs him. “Threat,” or, “leave it,” like a fucking dog. Ghost snarls at him, it makes his throat ache.
Keegan growls right back at him, and slams the final door open. The fresh scent of heat and rut snap Ghost’s head back, something trying to rise up in his brain. He checks the room, an Omega tied to the bed, whimpering with tears on their face. Not a threat, too familiar. Ghost stares at him. Pack , something deep in his brain tries to tell him. And maybe Simon would have recognized Roach right there in front of him. His brother. His Pack Omega. But Ghost doesn’t. He looks away, scanning the rest of the room.
An Alpha, shoved into the corner of the room, trembling. Threat. Ghost snarls again, menacing, switching the grip on his knife to attack.
-
Keegan’s hand is still on the door when the scents register. Coffee, with so many competing undertones he can’t identify it. Roach, in heat, distress, fear, pain. He’s searching the room when the second scent hits.
Alpha, rut, familiar.
No. No. Keegan stares at Roach, at the bloody wrists and the tears, hearing the terrible whine, seeing the hand reaching out to him. He takes a single stumbling step forward and Riley snarls. Keegan has to look, even if looking away from Roach feels like getting gutted alive.
Soap. Alive. In a corner. Deep in rut, and about to get fucking stabbed by Riley. Keegan’s brain short circuits. Some scrap of training rises up. He uses the last of the air in his lungs to cue the mic. “Price. Help. ”
Soap is alive, and the bond is broken. Roach is in heat, and asking for him. Riley’s feral, and a threat to everyone in the room. Keegan can’t. Can’t help any of them. Can’t help himself. Laswell is shouting in his ear, and there’s footsteps coming up the hall. Numb fingers go to his med bag, detaching it in the doorway.
Forcing his eyes to stay on Riley. If he looks at Ro- the other Omega, he’s going to make the worst mistake of his life. If he looks at Soap, the Alpha in rut near his in-heat imprinted Omega, he’s going to make Riley’s grief real. They have to leave. They have to get out of the way. And let Price and Gaz do what neither of them can.
Keegan launches himself at Riley, a feral noise coming out of his own mouth. Throwing his scent like a nuclear bomb. Get out. Leave. Get out.
Riley bites him, and Keegan drops his elbow into his ribs for it. Gets stabbed in return. Keegan grabs the wrist closest to him and twists. Trying to break fragile bone. Riley headbutts him so hard Keegan gasps in pain. And loses himself in the scents.
They fight like wild dogs, snapping and snarling. Throwing each other around the room. It’s a stroke of luck they make it out of the door and across the hall. Someone throws a door open and they fly through it.
There’s a voice in his ear, saying his name. Calling out to him. Keegan drives his knee into Riley’s stomach, missing the knife in the Lieutenant’s hand. The knife that ends up buried in his thigh.
“Keegan. Stop.” Keegan freezes. That’s Laswell. And he may not be fully in the Pack but her voice is like the hand of god grabbing him.
Riley’s gone limp and unresponsive under him. What?
-
Soap hears the gunfire approaching. As ‘silenced’ as suppressors make guns, they still make sound. A sound Soap is intimately familiar with. The presence of that sound makes something itch at the back of his brain, but he’s been reduced to nothing but basic thoughts.
Ignore the Omega on the bed. Remember your Mate. Simon. Stay in the corner. Protect Pack. Ignore the Omega on the bed. Remember your Mate- your Mate- Johnny jerks his head backwards against the wall. Can’t remember the name, choking on red haze, breed, claim, take- Simon . Simon his name is Simon.
Stay in the corner. Protect Pack. Ignore the Omega on the bed- the in heat Omega who smells so good, who smells so wrong. Who makes him want to breed but also cut out his own throat. Remember your Mate. Simon. Protect Pack.
The gunshots get closer, words he thinks might be in English. An Alpha growl, and Omega growl? Omegas don’t growl, only one he’s ever known. Simon? Could it be him? Before he can react, the door is blowing open. And there he is, face hidden behind the mask, scent tainted with anger and hurt and loss, but his . His brain screams, even without the bond, his Omega. Finally.
He goes to rise, to stand, but then Ghost is tearing forward, knife out and Soap is forced to scramble back. He gets a grip on Simon’s wrists and keeps him from biting him through the mask , and it’s then that he knows. Simon doesn’t recognize him, is lost in his head, he’s fighting Ghost .
And Ghost doesn’t love him.
Ghost will kill him.
He could fight, like this Simon is sloppy, acting on hurt instinct rather than skill but Johnny would rather tear out his own beating heart and offer it as a sacrifice at Simon’s feet than ever hurt him. And now, now he understands Keegan so much better, how and why it was so easy for him to give in. To do whatever it took to atone , submitting fully.
And that- that’s an idea… It’s a risk, one that could end him up with a ripped out throat, but… he has to try. Still holding a kicking and flailing Ghost, he tips back his head, submitting.
-
The AlphaThreatAlphaFamiliar is holding his wrist. Ghost tries to break the hold, snaps his teeth. The AlphaDangerKnowHim tips his head back, submits to Ghost. It breaks something new loose in his head. Too many competing instincts and thoughts and emotions, the room reeks of heat and rut and regret. This. AlphaHisGone is in rut and there’s an in-heat Omega here. Ghost whines, confused and lost shaking his head. Someone moves behind him and Ghost snarls.
Keegan hits him like a fucking avalanche, and everything in Ghost goes fight. Knives landing in whatever soft parts he can reach. The floor is hard under his back, and he throws his head back. Getting thrown into the hallway, even as he lands wrong, shoulder popping and burning like fire, Ghost fights.
Swinging a kick at the pair of boots in his peripheral vision. They’re in a new room, Ghost trying to kill the Alpha fighting him.
A new voice filters in. From the headset still in his ear. Familiar and comforting accent.
“Simon. Stop fighting.” Ghost whines, the voice is right and wrong and Commanding him. The Alpha pinning him down also freezes.
“Stop it. Get out of that building. Stop fighting. Leave.” Ghost blinks, the Command taking him.
The Alpha in the room with Ghost is still frozen, head tilted and listening to something. Ghost snarls at him.
“No. Leave him. Get out of that room.” Ghost shoves the Alpha away, rising to his feet. Focused on that voice in his ear. Listening to it as it guides him down the hall, to the stairs, and out of the door. Telling him to wait there. Someone’s coming. Everytime Ghost whines, or tries to move. That Scottish accent is there. Telling him he’s doing well, he just has to wait. He’s getting out of there. Pack is coming.
-
The bond is gone, Simon doesn’t recognize him, but Soap’s Pack Alpha is in the room keeping him from following the Alpha that just attacked his Omega and rolled him out of the room . That should make him do something but someone is there throwing Beta pheramones and Soap is so deep in his fucking rut he doesn’t know what way is up.
The scent of Pack is spilling off the Beta and his Pack Alpha, and, it clears his head, just a little. He recognizes faces, names, not just scents.
“Soap, son are you with me?”
“Price?” And his throat is rut raw, from the growling and screaming that he did. “Where- Simon?” It’s all he can think about.
Price jerks his attention back, forcing eye contact. “I will help him, but for now I need you to stay here. Wait for me to come back. Do you understand?”
Soap shifts, everything in him wants to go to Simon, to his Omega, to finally be free of this longing that his rut is forcing onto him. Won’t go against Pack Alpha, doesn’t want to go against Price. “I’ll stay,” and it comes out broken. Price gives him one last look and then books it out the door, grabbing an abandoned med Pack as he goes.
-
Price is pissed, and tired, and ready to both blow up everything he can and sleep for about ten years. Everything since the moment they stepped into this fucking country has gone to shit. Roach and Soap’s kidnapping, the fucking breeding program. Keegan ripped out his heart telling Price to kill him so he doesn’t assault Roach like Alphas have before.
And Ghost dropping, hit his fucking knees and threw up because Soap was dead .
His kid, his fucking son, blood or not it doesn’t fucking matter.
And then, then The Ghost (capitol T G) came back. The Ghost, who has been fading and being replaced with Simon more and more since he and Johnny met , not even just bonded, but all the way back in Mexico when they worked together for the first time. So, for now, Simon’s gone, too, another kid he’s going to have to bury if things keep getting worse. Which, if he can help it, they will not.
Price runs from the room with all the strength he has in him, doesn’t want to leave Gaz and Soap and Roach but he has to keep Simon from killing Keegan and vice versa. Grabs two doses of Keegan’s emergency knock out stims in case he has to sedate them both and moves.
Price hits his radio, fueled by adrenaline, and calls Laswell. “I need you to get an Alpha on the fucking walkie Kate- I need them to Command Simon to calm the fuck down. And I need it now . I need you to talk to Keegan, keep him distracted while I knock him out.”
“Fuck- okay, it’ll be a minute. I’ve got them on camera, turn left, first door.”
“Don’t have a fucking minute-” Price calls, but knows he can’t influence how fast this goes. He’s tracked Simon and Keegan down, following Laswell’s instructions. They’re grappling on the floor like men possessed.
Just as he goes to do something Laswell’s calling him. “Ready for us?”
“Yes- do it ,”
The first Command rings in his ears, and fuck, did Laswell have to find an Alpha with a Scottish accent?
Ghost flinches, a nervous reedy little whine coming out of his throat. But Price just saw him whine and then try to decapitate Soap with his teeth anyways. Keegan has frozen, too and Price hovers- ready to strike. The second Command and a little bit of the fight bleeds out of Simon, eyes going hazy. Then he goes to attack and the third Command rings down.
Simon rolls, practically sprinting out the door, like Keegan and Price don’t even exist.
Oh fuck. It worked. It worked and Price is about to throw up over it.
“Hit him, Price. The sedative.”
Price sucks in a breath, grabs the syringe and knocks Keegan the fuck out.
-
Gaz is the last in the room, is in the hallway when Keegan and Simon go flying. He kicks open a door for them to roll through and follows Price.
He goes right to Roach who is wailing and crying, scent throwing hard with rejection and pain and fear. Gaz unlocks him, pulling him into a hug and blaring his scent so hard he gets a headache. His scent must knock something inside of Roach loose because he goes still, one last whine escaping from bloody lips before his body goes limp. Roach is catatonic, unseeing. Gaz lifts him onto his shoulders, the carry that Keegan taught them and then looks over.
Soap is just standing there, swaying on his feet, rut scent teetering up high before dropping low. It’s awful. “C’mon Soap, we have to go,” the Alpha doesn't move and Gaz closes his eyes. Take a steadying breath. “Soap- Simon is waiting for you.” That get his attention. “Come with me and you can see him.”
It’s the push the Alpha needs, as he follows Gaz and an unresponsive Roach out the door.
Roach’s Alpha is in the room, right there , and then he, too, is moving away. Putting his hands on another Omega, choosing someone else and Roach shatters into pieces.
The sounds that tear out of him are awful, pained noises of rejection. His Alpha doesn’t want him, isn’t going to help him. Is leaving him here with an Alpha he doesn’t even want but his mind is demanding he submit to. Everything gets lost under it, even when the scent of Pack rolls in. It should be a comfort, a relief, it should be safety .
But the only real safety Roach has ever known just left him, and it’s a third rejection, another Alpha who won’t help him in his heat. It sends him down a drain of instinct and pain. By the time Gaz is ripping him out of his spiral, he’s too weak to even try to grab for the Alpha in the room. He lets go, dropping hard into himself and letting his Omega take the reins.
-
Price gets Keegan off the floor and onto his back, ignoring the blood all over him. He doesn’t know if it’s Keegan’s or Simon’s, can’t care- not now. He meets Gaz and Soap, Roach in the hall. He has no idea what’s going to happen when they step outside and run into Simon but at this point he just needs them out . Laswell has a few Beta contacts in the area already on the way with two separate vans so they can divide the group as best as they can, and he just hopes that he can get them out of this fucking country alive. They can fix everyone later, right now he just needs them breathing.
-
Ghost ends up slumped against the outside wall, sitting on cold asphalt. The voice keeps talking to him. He’s aware enough to feel the pain. His wrist, his shoulder, his ribs. Bruises and cuts. He’s got a knife in his good hand, lost the other one lost in that Alpha’s leg. There’s vans on the way, and people following him out of the building. Ghost just nods. The voice asks about his shoulder, Ghost tries to raise that arm and whines. That whole side of his body screams at him for moving, and his arm won’t fucking move.
Dislocated, the voice tells him. Ghost snarls at it. The door he came out of bangs open, three people walking out, carrying one more. Ghost throws the knife in his hand at them. The voice snaps at him. “No. Not a threat. Do not attack. Go to them.”
Ghost whines, the voice is the only thing keeping him even slightly sane. Fighting his way to his feet, and staggering as his vision flickers. Makes it about ten feet away when the voice tells him to stop. The group shuffles, someone tries to step towards him. Ghost finds a new level to his snarl, it hurts, like swallowing glass. But it stops the person trying to get close to him. The standoff goes on forever. Until vans are pulling up, and the voice tells him to get in one.
Strangers try to help him and Ghost snarls at them too. Climbing into the back and collapsing on the floor, panting for air. Two scents join him, and he turns to see. Beta. Pack. Friend.
A crying Omega, eyes vacant, scent reflecting the pain Ghost feels. Part of him tells him to comfort the other Omega. Part of him hates, hates the Omega, for being in the room with- AlphaBrokenBondMate.
Ghost shows them both his teeth, through the shredded pieces of the mask. The voice tells him to lay still, and a stranger hits him in his good arm with a needle. Ghost is trying to kill the fucker when everything goes dark.
-
Soap hits the fresh air outside and for a second his head is clear, unencumbered by rut or pain or mingling scents of pain. Then something familiar rises up, gunmetal and berries, his Omega. Price steps in front of him before he can move. Voice low.
“No.” Soap freezes, head tilting in confusion. Takes another step forward. His Pack Alpha takes a step back, towards his Omega, blocking him. There’s a snarl from somewhere behind Price and Soap’s instincts scream. “Soap, son- no .”
He shudders, Pack Alpha Command slamming into his brain and stopping him dead in his tracks. Price looks like he’s in pain but doesn’t back down. Shifting his shoulder to reset the weight of the unconscious man above him. Competing instincts hit him, the one that wants to go to his Omega and the one that wants to listen to Pack.
He’s still fighting with himself when the vans show. He gets Commanded by Price to get in the one that his Omega isn’t getting into and he wants to scream. Doesn’t. Climbs inside the van, helps Price get Keegan laying down, and then stares out the window as Price starts bandages wounds. A Beta hands him a pill, tells him it’ll help. He swallows it dry and not five minutes later he’s falling into unconsciousness.
-
Price gets Keegan patched up as best he can on the way to the allied base. He’s got a stab wound in his thigh, another one- shallow but not much better- in his side. There’s bites and bruises and general injuries but he doesn’t worry about those. Keegan’s as stable as he can be by the time they arrive. Two medevac choppers take them home. The training room is already set up for triage and Price gets Keegan into more capable hands, helps Gaz get Soap somewhere safe for when he wakes up. Orders Gaz to get Roach to his room and stand guard, and then takes up a post right next to the exit while Laswell goes to Simon’s side. Watching over him while the medics set his injuries, too.
He wants to collapse, exhausted, but he won’t do that until his team is all awake so he can fix them . Soap and Ghost have a broken bond that has to be acknowledged right away or it’ll kill them both. Keegan’s going to wake any second and Price has to be prepared for what the imprint is going to make him do.
-
Kate’s hands shake as she crouches down next to Simon. The medics are fast, popping his shoulder back into place. They all make concerned noises at the bruising on his ribs. But she knows the worst injury is one they can’t see. It’s the broken bond. Thank god for Callum being on base when he was, otherwise.
She has no idea how they would have gotten through to Simon. All she can do now is wait, wash the blood off his face and his mouth. Hold his hand and talk to him. Finding him a clean and new mask.
Chapter 2: Deathwish
Summary:
Title from Red Sun Rising
Chapter Text
Roach is hardly aware of the hands touching him, can only be thankful that they don’t hurt. Yet. He’s been here before, so deep inside a heat he doesn’t even know he’s alive. Every time he’s been here it’s the same, hands he doesn’t want, scents unfamiliar or dangerous. Pain, followed by pain, and ending with more pain. So he drowns in his mind, waiting for the hurt to start.
More hands move him and then suddenly, something familiar slams into him. Gasping like he’s just been saved from drowning Roach stumbles away from the hands at his sides. He’s in his den, Keegan’s scent flooding his brain. Alpha , and he whines, spinning around to look for him. Is greeted by a wide-eyed Beta- Gaz. Pack. Not Alpha. He whines again, calls Keegan’s name and Gaz’s face falls.
“I’m sorry- Roach just- go to your nest, you have to ride this out. I’m sorry.”
If Roach were more cognizant he’d understand the words but he’s not, turns anyways and collapses in his nest. Inhaling deep the smell of his Alpha.
He hears the door shut but can’t do anything but sob into the sheets, heat picking up in it’s intensity as the scent he needs, wants, craves, fills his lungs. Roach cries, pulling blankets up to his nose until they smell nothing like Keegan and everything like his own distress, throws the soiled comforts away and finds more Alpha scent until there’s none left. He wails, Omega screaming. Gasping in desperate breaths until- until there’s a commotion outside his door and a fresh wave of Keegan seeps in from the hallway.
Roach launches off the bed, slamming into the wooden door and whining. His Alpha is there- he came back . The door is locked from the outside, he doesn't understand, tugs at the useless lock on his end. Whines again, tearing apart his throat.
“Alpha- please, I need you. It hurts- Alpha please ?”
-
The last thing Keegan knew, Laswell’s Command was holding him by the throat. So he wakes up in the fucking training room confused and pissed and lost. Woozy from blood loss, can feel stitches pulling at his skin in different places, and a medic trying to make him answer questions. Keegan growls, sending the medic skittering back. Looking around the room.
Roach. Has to find. Protect. Roach is in-heat and Keegan has to protect him. Price is coming towards him, Laswell crouched by Riley’s head. No Roach, no Soap. No Roach.
Keegan staggers to his feet. “ Where is he?” If they- if Soap. Freshly unbonded Alpha Soap and never bonded Omega Roach. If they- It’s fear and rage and grief forcing him to his feet. Price shakes his head.
“Your room. His nest. Alone. Keegan. Alone.”
Alone is only marginally better. Keegan knows Roach. Knows he’s suffering and hurting and it’s because Keegan isn’t there. His brain feels like it’s on fire, instincts screaming at him.
Keegan moves faster than should be possible with his injuries and the sedatives still in his system. Shoving past Price and sprinting down the hallway, turning, slamming into a wall and bouncing off of it. Sliding to a stop in front of his door, right past Gaz, and dropping to his knees. He can hear Roach crying for him, smell the sting of rejection and pain.
“Darlin- I’m sorry. I’m here. I’m here. I can’t-”
He can’t go in. Without a rut he’ll do more harm than good, and there’s a very good chance he’d force the bond. Even now his teeth ache with the need to bite, saliva pooling in his mouth.
“I’m here, just listen to my voice. Let it help.” Throws his scent at the door, aware that at least Price followed him. Has no idea if Soap is in his room just down the hall and doesn’t want to make things worse.
“Pretend it’s me darlin’, you can do it. I don’t want you to hurt.” If Price and Gaz stay here they’re gonna get a front row seat to this and Keegan doesn’t give a fuck. He can’t help his Omega. Not with his hands or his teeth or knot, only has his voice and scent.
-
Price takes off after Keegan, thrown off by how fast he’s moving. He turns the corner to the hallway with Roach’s room just as Keegan slides on his knees right past Gaz and lands with hands on the wood. Gaz looks a little wild, but doesn’t touch, looks at Price and they both wait to see what Keegan will do. Price is ready to throw a Command and Gaz is ready to grab and throw .
But Keegan doesn’t try to open the door, just launches his scent and apologizes to the door. Speaking to Roach in the closest thing to calm that Price thinks Keegan can muster right now.
Slowly, Price waves Gaz over and the Beta takes careful and measured steps away from Keegan. The control he’s displaying is insane, even as Roach wails and begs he doesn’t try to open the door, just puts forward softness in his scent and starts to offer to help Roach in the only way he can.
Price is stuck, unsure if he should stay just in case, or give them privacy. Considers it while he sends Gaz back to help in the training room. He hovers by the hallway corner, trying not to listen to the absolutely heartbreaking things Roach is saying through the door. Stays right where he is until Keegan talks him down, and then turns, leaning up against the door and starts to walk Roach through his heat. At that, Price leaves.
Keegan won’t hurt Roach. It’s the one constant thing in the entire world, a universal truth.
-
Roach is kneeling at the door, pressing his nose as close to the edge as possible, desperately drawing in breaths through the crack. Getting as much of Keegan’s scent into his nose as he can. His Alpha’s voice filters through the haze of need and pain, but it’s not enough. He doesn’t want to pretend , not when the real thing is only a few inches away.
For a second, one wild second, Roach thinks about breaking down the door. It’s just wood, and if he throws himself hard enough he probably could. But he’s weak, tired, isn’t sure he can get back onto his feet let alone find the energy for more.
He whines again, nails scratching the surface, pain there nothing compared to the way the heat is ravaging his body. It’s worse than anything he’s ever felt before. Begging, pleading, throwing his scent and his voice as hard as he can in one last futile attempt to get his Alpha to touch him, take him, claim him, knot him.
“I can’t- need you. Please -” another whine and then an even stronger wave of Keegan’s scent permeates the air, carrying love and safety and everything Roach thought he was going to lose when that strange Alpha scruffed him and- maybe- maybe Alpha thinks he’s tainted- maybe he doesn’t know.
“No one- no one touched me. If- if that why you don’t want me. I promise, Alpha, I’m not used .” Roach is, he thinks wildly, but not since the 141. He’s not clean , but Alpha knows about his past and still wanted him before. If he can prove that he’s not- not sullied, then maybe Keegan will take him.
-
Soap wakes alone in his room, the scent of rut and his missing bond in the air. The air is heavy with it, the scent that’s no longer on his skin or Simon’s, a smell that meant home and safe and love. It’s fucking gone. The bed is thick with the smell and it hurts too fucking much, he yanks back from it, heading into the bathroom, the one place that smells like shampoo and body wash and not the man he loves or their, now severed, bond. He collapses on the floor, rut still running through him, and resolves to wait it out. Even if it kills him.
Every part of Soap’s entire being is on fire, it’s the worst rut he’s ever experienced. It’s like he’s experiencing more than one at once, biology and hormones ravaging him, sapping out all of his energy and leaving him drained.
The lack of bond still stabs at his brain, and he’s so deep down in that depression that he doesn’t even try to get off. Can’t even fathom wrapping a hand around his cock, slipping on a medical issue knot holder, and jerking off. He’d only want to think of Simon, but thinking of him hurts, hurts so much that if he wasn’t under the effect of chemicals he wouldn’t even be able to get hard. His body is fighting his mind and his Alpha is just screaming with it.
At some point he winds up in the shower, sits under the spray and it pulls the rest of their scent out of the bathroom, lets him breathe for the first time since he woke up in the hospital tied to a chair. He doesn’t want to go back to that stinging pain that their bond scent will make him feel.
So he sits in the shower until the water runs cold, until he’s shaking and shivering. His lips are probably blue, but the cold is keeping his rut away, that or he’s coming down. It’s been… who knows how long since he was injected and he has no idea how long this will last but he already feels like he’s passed the peak.
Eventually, he leaves the water, smears scent covering paste under his nose and throws himself into his bed. And fuck, his bed? Their bed. It’s still his and Simon’s, bond or not, they belong to each other. He just needs to get back to him so it can be permanent again.
-
Keegan wasn’t sure it was possible to feel worse but he’s proven wrong when Roach’s begging shifts to promises that he wasn’t touched. That he’s still clean. Trying to beg Keegan to still want him, take him.
“I know darlin’. I know. You’re perfect. My sweet perfect Omega. You’re still mine. This is on me. I can’t do it without a rut. I won’t be able to help you. We’re just gonna keep talking okay? I know it hurts. It’ll pass soon though. I promise.”
One of the few things he’d retained from those files. The heats and ruts, once induced, don’t last as long as natural ones. It’s part of why they’re so painful, and awful. And Roach- was deeper in his heat than Soap was in his rut. Like there was a delay between the doses. Just long enough to break a bond apparently.
Roach slips further into crying and begging. Keegan keeps talking to him. Telling him he still wants him. That they’re still going to have the bond and be Mates like he promised before this mess.
Once Roach is out of heat- if he asks for a bond, for the bite. Keegan won’t have a chance to deny him. The imprint is choking him. Anything Roach wants, Keegan will give to him.
“Keep talking to me darlin’. I need to know you’re there.” Or he’s going to claw this fucking door to pieces.
There’s still nothing from inside the room and Keegan pushes closer to it. “Roach- darlin’ please? Talk to me. Let me try to help you.”
-
Alpha is saying that he still wants him, but that he can’t enter the den. Won’t touch him. The logic is there, if only Roach’s brain could really understand it. But even stuck in his heat like this, his instinct to be good for his Alpha is still there, rising above the need to beg when Keegan tells him to let him help.
It’s enough to get him to agree. Slowly, he follows Keegan’s instructions. The first step is to strip out of his slick soaked pants and underwear. He does, whining as the cool air hits his overheated body, as the bits of slick that managed to dry rip at his skin. It feels like he’s been hard for hours, and it’s because he has, too lost in everything to even attempt to find relief.
Keegan tells him to touch himself and the second his hand wraps around his cock he whines, heat building higher.
Roach already knows this isn’t going to be enough, but- it’s something. For now.
-
Keegan can hear the change in pitch, when the whine goes from god help me please to almost pleasure. “Good boy, doing so well. Keep doing that. Use your fingers too. Anything you can. Want you to try to come for me okay? I know it’s hard. But it’ll help. This isn’t going to last much longer darlin’. Couple hours tops.”
The faint scent of pleasure finally hits him and he’d be hard if he wasn’t so low on blood and genuinely mentally fucked. Keeps trying to talk Roach through it anyways.
Waits for the little moan. “There you go. Do you have your kit? From last time?”
-
Roach, on pure muscle memory, manages to start to slowly stroke himself to Keegan’s voice. A fresh wave of slick slips out of him and he whines, following Keegan’s instructions and slipping two fingers into himself. It’s not- enough, not when his body wants a knot, wants his Alpha. He whines again and Keegan is asking him about the kit- the one he used right before Keegan got here, when he went through a heat alone.
“Yes,” he wheezes, trying to remember where he put it. It’s got a dildo, in it, something much larger than his fingers. No plug, no fake knot, but- it might help. Let him feel good enough to finally come.
Keegan tells him to go find it and he whimpers, losing the little bit of fullness that his fingers had given him. He finds the bag at the back of his closet, underneath a pile of blankets. He grabs it all, shoves the blankets onto the floor like a mini nest and crawls onto top of them.
“M’back,” he tells the door. “Have the- the bag.” Roach opens it when Keegan tells him to and closes his fingers around the silicone cock. “It’s not you,” he complains, sending that desperate tone back into his voice. “Want you, Alpha .”
His scent spikes again, fresh wave of heat rolling through him and tears prick at his eyes, his voice goes thick with them. “ Please. ”
-
Keegan turns, drops his forehead to the door, speaking directly into it. “I know darlin’. But I’m telling you how to use it. Want you to lay on your back, put your head by the door so you can hear me.”
Waits for the shuffling to stop, and the little gasp. “There you go sweet boy. Better than your fingers isn’t it. You still touching yourself? Stroking your cock like a good boy?”
A whine, and Roach’s voice thick with tears. But he’s touching himself. And Keegan knows that’s been a barrier before. “Talk to me baby. Is it helping? Me being here?”
If it’s making worse for Roach, Keegan will go wait at the end of the hall and watch the door. There’s a violent noise from their room, and a smack against the door. And Keegan wants to smile. Even deep in a heat and suffering, Roach found a little bit of energy to be angry.
“Okay, I’ll stay right here. I want you to go a little faster. Once you come you’ll feel better- I promise.” Keegan waits for Roach’s whining to change.
There it is, a little sweeter, a little less pained. “Good job darlin’, just like that.” Takes the chance and throws his scent hard. Trying to help push Roach over the edge. If he can come, and maybe sleep- maybe he’ll sleep until it’s over.
-
The first push of the fake cock inside of him is nothing compared to his Alpha, but it’s not bad. In fact, as Roach slowly slides the head inside, filling himself up, he’s suddenly reminded of how good this felt last time. How, even though it’s not real, he can’t even tell the difference until he’s denied a knot. So he pushes the rest of the toy in, holding it there as he strokes himself.
He feels full and it’s so much better than the nothing he’s been experiencing for hours that he almost misses Keegan talking to him. Bangs his elbow against the door because he can’t find the words. Of course his Alpha is helping. That’s his job. And Roach’s job is to listen. So when he’s told to go faster, he does. Moving the hand on his cock up and down as he starts moving the dildo in and out.
There’s no real leverage here, Roach won’t really be able to fuck himself, but he can’t help the moan that slips past his lips. Especially not when his Alpha’s scent spikes a little sharper. He drinks that scent in whimpering, hand moving even faster. Keegan coaches him through it, voice a steady presence even as Roach sends himself higher and higher, throat clicking with use. Abused from all the crying and screaming, whimpers of pleasure cracking in half.
His breath starts to come in gasps, right on the edge. But he can’t. He needs-
“Alpha please- need your permission- order me ,” Roach begs. He’s been here before, knows he’s not allowed to come until he’s told to. Made to. “ Please ?”
Keegan closes his eyes. Hating that he has to do this through a door, can’t just go in and take care of Roach. Hates that Roach has been trained by every piece of shit Alpha in his past to not just take the pleasure, but to have to fight for it.
“Darlin’- of course. Come for me.” Roach moans, high and desperate but there’s no scent of relief, and he can’t hear anything either.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Keegan shifts his tone, drops it into a Command. Has to help, anything he can do. “ You can do it. Come.”
The little gasping whimper isn’t much, but Keegan can smell the change in scent. He’s already gone this far- and Roach has suffered so much-
“Sleep now. Good Omega.”
Pressing his ear to the door, waiting for anything. There’s just soft breathing, and Roach’s scent mellowing out from harsh and pained, to relaxed. Keegan sighs, swallows the fucking sob about to break out of his chest. Hopes he made the right choice. Slowly turns so he’s got his back to the door again, and drops his chin to his chest. Listening hard for any sign that Roach is waking up, and tries to settle back into his skin.
-
Roach tries, really fucking tries, when Keegan tells him to come with just his normal voice. He’s right there , but his Omega is leading the show and it’s learned too well, has done this too many times. Won’t let him.
Somewhere, in the mess that is his brain, Roach knows that this is going to hurt Keegan. His choices are shitty. Either Command Roach, his imprint, an Omega, or deny him the help he’s asking for. He almost takes it back, has the apology on his tongue but then the Command rolls through him and he chokes on nothing as his orgasm rips out of him.
Roach keens, clamping down on the toy inside of him, head thrashing back and forth as he comes all over himself. It tempers the heat, only slightly, but the relief that hits him is astronomical.
He’s barely got enough sense to pull the toy out, whimpering against the feeling of being empty, before another Command comes through. Roach is helpless to do anything but follow it, slipping into sleep in seconds.
When he wakes, his skin is cold, come and slick dried on his stomach and thighs. Heat nowhere to be found. He groans, a different kind of pain radiating out from his body. Roach’s head hurts, from where he was hit, one wrist covered in cuts that will scar with time, body aching from sleeping on the floor so he could be close to Keegan.
Keegan.
Roach sits up quick, vision going a little shaky. He leans up against the door and smells it. Keegan is still there, or was in the last few minutes, scent strong. “Keegan,” he calls out. “Are you- can you come in here now?”
-
Keegan’s halfway to passed out when Gaz appears at the end of the hall. Scuffing his shoes on the floor to get his attention.
“Gaz- okay?”
Gaz looks at him like he’s stupid. “Fuck- I’m fine. What do you need? Before you can go in there?”
Keegan blinks, trying to focus. “I don’t know if I can. I need fluids- ringers would be ideal. But the scent- if I block I won’t be able to help him if he needs it. Or tell how he’s doing.”
Gaz sighs, and walks a little closer. Head titled, and then confusion on his face at the audible lack of sound from the room.
Keegan just shrugs.
“Okay, well. Once he’s out, do you want to just come back to the training room?”
Keegan thinks about the shit mess that’s waiting for them in that room and flinches. Riley- and Soap. God what a mess.
“I should just. Go in. Can you ask the medics for an 18 gauge needle and some ringers?”
Gaz nods, and vanishes. He’s back the next time Keegan looks up, which is bad. He still manages to find his own vein, and get the tube ran. It takes some work but eventually they figure out a way to get the bottle propped on the door knob above his head.
Gaz leaves again, to figure out food, and Keegan’s finally a little more awake when there’s noises from inside the room.
Roach’s voice is small and sad when he asks Keegan to come in.
“I can- but do you want me to? Or do you want to go back to the team, to your Pack?” Keegan unfucks his tubing and shoves his way to his feet, unlocking the door for Roach.
-
“Please?” Roach asks, and then the door is unlocking and he scoots back just far enough to let it push open, a blanket pulled up to his chest. Keegan looks worse for wear, pale and bruised, clothes bloody and eyes a little foggy. They sharpen when he sees Roach and he can’t help the little whimper that escapes.
Keegan shuts the door and then seems to hesitate, like he’s not sure where to go or what to do. Roach- needs to get clean but doesn’t think he can get off the floor and Keegan doesn’t look like he’s stable enough to help him.
Roach shuffles, moving on top of his mini nest, scooting off to the side to make space. “Here? Or- somewhere else?” He glances into the room, sees his actual nest, and is whining before he can think. Keegan moves, dropping down and offering him a hand. Not grabbing. Not pulling. Not forcing.
Asking. Giving him a choice. Waiting for his consent.
And Roach bursts into tears.
The horrors of the hospital slam back into his consciousness thought now that he’s not under the effects of a forced heat. Now that he can think, all he can do is remember. Remembers the Alpha that scruffed him, Commanded him, the one Roach thought was going to be the first in a long line of violations. Remembers the horrible stinging pain of being close to a bonded Alpha mid-heat, and the almost betrayal when that bonded scent faded and was replaced with the cloying scent of rut.
Can only remember what he almost did, the way he begged for an Alpha that wasn’t Keegan.
“I’m sorry,” Roach apologizes, hands starting to shake. “Oh god- I’m so sorry.” Keegan is still crouched in front of him and Roach wants to go to him, to be held, to have him soothe away the almosts . Isn’t sure he deserves it after what he’s done. “I didn’t want him- I don’t want him - Keegan-“
Roach whines again, apologetic and sorry, scent blaring a request for forgiveness.
-
Keegan wants so fucking badly to hold him. “Darlin’- fuck please. Can I touch?” Roach nods, in between the whining and Keegan drops to his knees. It hurts, especially the stab wound in his leg, but he can actually reach forward and pull Roach into his arms, blankets and all. Roach sobs.
Keegan cradles him into his lap. “Darlin’, you’re fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t, I promise. I know you didn’t. I know, love.”
Keeps repeating that over and over as Roach cries in his arms, shifting so he’s sitting on his ass, and not kneeling. It hurts a little less, doesn’t pull his stitches as badly but he’s worried he’s popped one already. Either in his leg or on his side. Both burn.
“There’s nothing to forgive. I’m not mad at you. Nothing that happened there was your fault, or Soap’s. You guys did nothing wrong. You and I are fine darlin’. There’s nothing you need to worry about with me, okay?”
Eventually Keegan finds the strength to get to his feet. He can’t pick Roach up but helps him to his feet as best as he can.
“I know you want to shower. I can’t- the stitches can’t get wet yet. I’ll come sit, and then when you’re ready. We can go back to Pack okay?”
-
Roach melts into Keegan’s arms and sobs, cries even though he’s pretty sure there’s not enough water in his body at this point. He stays there, listening to Keegan promise that they’re okay, that there’s nothing for him to worry about when it comes to them . Cries until the awful sobbing settles into something less severe.
Then Keegan is helping him onto his feet and steering him into the bathroom. “Shower is good.” Roach manages to agree. Pushes Keegan with a soft touch so he sits down on the toilet and then starts the water. Fights the urge to turn it as hot as it’ll go, settles for something just a hair past what he usually showers in.
Standing there, still holding a disgusting blanket, Roach feels lost. Keegan is watching him with concerned eyes, lingering on the handprint shaped bruises along his neck.
Roach looks away.
He climbs into the water and washes himself, trying to make himself into something worthy, in more ways than one. Roach scrubs and scrubs until his skin turns pink and then red with it. Blood pooling under his flesh from the pressure and repetition. Scrubs even harder until- a hand reaches through the water, gentle and soft and Roach snaps up to look at Keegan.
Sweet, loving, perfect Keegan. He’s making sad eyes, mouth parted on what Roach is sure will be something soothing. He interrupts him. “I don’t feel clean ,” and he emphasizes the word, sees the understanding wash into Keegan’s face. Roach drops the washcloth and kneels at the side of the tub, leaning as close as he can get without leaving the water.
Keegan’s hands have shifted as Roach changed positions, and now his face is being held. The softest touch since before the kidnapping. Roach leans into it, voice thick. “An Alpha scruffed me, Commanded me , and I thought he was gonna- right in front of Soap and-“ he closes his eyes, sucking in a sharp breath. Focuses on the hands that have stayed soft. “Knew if it didn’t happen then that it was just a matter of time.”
Roach hears the wounded sounds that Keegan makes but can’t look. “Didn’t know about the serum at first, just thought they were going to wait out my suppressors. Didn’t know if you would get there in time.” It was awful, those few minutes after waking as he smelled the heats and ruts and knew what was coming next. “Knew you weren’t when they injected that crap and the glass wasn’t even empty and I already felt my heat.”
The way his entire body had gone into overdrive, fear and adrenaline mixing with the wanting and the pain. Roach opens his mouth to talk about the rejection- realizes Keegan doesn’t know about Jacob yet and snaps his mouth shut. That’s- too much for right now. He can’t- start combining pain or this will turn into a trauma dump and neither of them are stable enough for that.
“By the time you showed up I was so far gone I didn’t care what happened as long as someone helped me. I hate that- hate that my Omega will override me ,” Roach opens his eyes with that confession. Looks right at Keegan with wide and pleading eyes. “It wouldn’t- not if we had been-“ he cuts that off. Now isn’t the time to ask for the bond. And asking for it now feels like forcing Keegan's hand. Roach is so intimately familiar with force, and he will not do that to Keegan.
Switches topics fast. “I don’t- nothing happened , so I shouldn’t feel this bad. I just-“ he nuzzles into Keegan’s palm, pushing at the scent gland on his wrist and breathing in the comforting scent.
“I want to stay here. In our den and go back to my nest but, something awful happened in that room. They made Soap smell like he was unbonded and I don’t understand how. I was already- my heat happened and then the assholes left and didn’t come back for like an hour. I don’t know what they did but- it wasn’t good.” Roach has a few ideas but he was so far gone by then…he really doesn’t know. “We need to go back. Pack or not the team needs help and aside from my wrist and some general body aches, I’m not hurt.”
He looks at Keegan, still bloody. “And you are, so- I want to get you looked at. If that’s okay?”
-
Sitting on the toilet seat, Keegan has a front row view to the way Roach scrubs at his skin so violently it’s red and irritated. Has to look away from the bruises around Roach’s throat. Takes the time to detach the tubing from his arm, using the tape from the med kit under the sink to secure the cath in case he ends up needing more fluids. It’s likely, and finding a vein was hard enough the first time.
Eventually he reaches in, trying to help. ‘I don’t feel clean’ rattles around his brain like loose rocks. Fuck. Keegan tries to make sure he’s showing understanding and love on his face, and not any of the violent heartbreak. Hearing the details doesn’t help. The horrifically near miss. The absolute certainty in Roach’s voice, put there by experience. Keegan keeps his hands soft and gentle, brushing his thumb over Roach’s cheek.
“You got kidnapped darlin’. And then they injected you with something without your consent, forced a heat, and tied you down. That’s not nothing. I’m fucking furious for you. And Soap. What they tried to do to you two- they died for it, but if I could I’d have made it worse for them.” Keegan wishes he could get his hands on the fucker who designed that serum, and show them what he learned from Riley about torture. Pushes past that, knows it isn’t helpful, and refuses to make Roach feel guilty about Keegan’s fucking feelings.
Weighs his options. Roach is bleeding honestly all over the bathroom. “I made Price promise to sedate me-” leaves out the killing option, “when we found you. I was so worried for you, and I- if the imprint had pushed me any harder I would have lost to my Alpha. I understand, hating that your instincts can take away your choices and push you to do something you never would.” Keegan shifts his grip, so Roach is looking into his eyes.
“I would have never forgiven myself. If I had taken what you weren’t really offering.” Keegan shakes his head, trying to clear it. Wincing when it makes his face throb. Has a faint memory of Riley’s skull smashing into it.
“They broke the bond. He didn’t just- smell unbonded. He is. I watched Riley drop, start going into bond shock. It made sense, bonded Alpha. I don’t know what you remember- but I knew you were still in there. I pushed Riley, made him go feral with it, instead of grieving. Selfish. Needed his help to get you back. I don’t know how we got out of that building, or back here. But I know Riley thinks Soap’s dead. And when he wakes up- if we’re not fast enough. The bond shock, can be fatal.” Roach flinches and Keegan lets him pull back from his hands. Doesn’t know if it’s just because of what’s happening to his Pack, or because of what Keegan did. Refuses to keep his hands on Roach if he doesn’t want them.
“I woke up to medics, and I know I’ve got stitches but if you want them to look again. We can do that.” Keegan averts his eyes, staring at the tear in his pants and the stitches in the red swollen skin underneath. Makes a mental note to ask about antibiotics. The shower turns off and Keegan reaches blindly for one of the soft towels Roach likes, holding it out to him.
“I don’t know how to help them. I’ve seen bond shock before, but always because one half of the pair was actually dead. Couldn’t help you, might not be able to help them.” Keegan closes his eyes for a second, remembering how to hate himself now that Roach is back on his feet. “Some fucking medic huh.”
-
There’s so many different things hitting Roach at once, more confessions spilling out of Keegan’s mouth, bleeding on the floor.
Keegan would never hurt him. It’s the only thing Roach knows to be true in the world. He knows for a fact that even if his instincts had taken over that Roach would have been safe. Roach wants to tell him this, but knows it doesn’t help. Alpha or Omega, having that kind of power, choice, stripped by your own brain isn’t something anyone wants to experience. Doesn’t tell him that Roach wants to give him everything, so there’s nothing he could take that wasn’t already freely given. Now isn’t the time.
Then Keegan tells him that Soap’s bond actually broke . That whatever happened in that hospital was permanent and debilitating. Keegan explains that if they don’t fix this that Ghost and Soap might die anyways, instincts tearing them apart and telling them that their Mate is dead even if they can see them with their own eyes.
Roach flinches, the thought of losing anyone in the Pack physically painful. That’s his family , his Pack Omega and friend . Pushes up and out of the shower, drying off, just in time for Keegan to destroy himself in self deprecation. He makes a sound of pain and Keegan snaps up to look at him, eyes searching.
“Keegan you saved me. You saved Ghost. You saved Soap. I remember- I remember you stopping him from killing Soap, I didn’t understand what was happening at the time, but you got Ghost out of there.”
Roach drops down to his knees, towel shifting from where it was secured to his waist. He grabs at it with one hand as he pushes between Keegan’s thighs. “If it wasn’t for you, at the very least Soap would be dead and when Ghost realized that he had been the one to do it, he’d be dead, too. Whatever you had to do there, was the right decision. Whatever we have to do when we go back to help them will be the right decision. Even if it hurts us to do it.”
He leans down to rest his head against Keegan’s uninjured thigh. “And- it’s such shit timing but I have to say it. Can’t risk that something happens to you or me and it doesn’t get said.” Roach lifts his head up and makes sure Keegan is looking at him. “I love you, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. However long or short that is.”
-
Keegan has a brief moment of hysteria when Roach leans his clean head on Keegan’s filthy thighs. “A bad choice is still a bad choice even if it was the only option. I- very nearly killed Soap. When we came into that room and he was there with you. I remember thinking if I looked at you too long, I’d ruin everything we have together. And if I looked at Soap, the broken bond wouldn’t matter. Had to get out of the way, get Riley out of the way. But I heard and could smell. How much it hurt you, even though I was kicking his ass I was still touching another Omega. I’m so sorry darlin.”
Shifts so he can get one hand to Roach’s hair, and pulls back when he sees the blood still on his fingers. Roach glares, and Keegan puts his filthy hands on clean wet curls.
“I love you. I love you so fucking much. I would do anything for you. As soon as we help put your Pack back together- I want the bond. Even with that fucking bond breaker out in the world. You’ll never have to go through anything alone. Never again. I’ll be there, in the bond. It’s not how I wanted to do it, I’m hurt and you’re scared but- never again darlin. I love you.”
Roach rises up off his knees, and Keegan’s hands leave dirty marks on his skin when he pulls him in for a kiss. Throwing his scent as hard as he can with the promise he just made.
Keegan makes it to his feet with the help of the counter top, muscles gone far past stiff from the fight with Riley and hours of sitting on the floor. Roach gets dressed quickly, and together they slowly make it back to the training room.
Price and Laswell are there, hovering around a still passed out Riley. Gaz is sitting on the floor a few feet away. A couple of medics on the other side. One of them, the one Keegan snarled at hours ago.
“I’m going to let them do their thing darlin. Can you go check in with Price?” Keegan doesn’t really want Roach to see the extent of the damage yet, and if he’d popped a stitch trying to hold Roach, he doesn’t need to know that either.
Roach nods, face a little pinched, but goes to Price’s side. Riley’s face scrunches into a faint snarl and Keegan freezes. Roach notices too and steps back, going to sit by Gaz instead. Riley stays down, and eventually his face settles back into almost neutral. Just pain on his brow.
Keegan sighs. If Riley is- reacting that badly to Roach, even sedated- he has no idea how to help them pull the bond back together. He’d been banking on the Pack bond being good leverage, and the two Omegas are the center of the Pack.
Keegan lets the medic lead him to a cot and lay down, turning it over in his mind. He has- one other idea. It’s a bad one. It’s a fucking awful one. But if he- threatens Soap. It might get Riley’s attention enough to notice who Soap actually is. No matter how much Riley’s instincts say Soap is dead, if Keegan makes a move to actually hurt Soap, that should get through.
“Bandage them up tight. I might need to be mobile and fast.” The medics all bitch at him and Keegan ignores it. Just bullies them right back for more IV fluids and tegaderm dressings. Steals a scalpel and pops the blade out of it. Keeping the harmless handle up his sleeve. Just in case.
-
Roach searches everything inside of him to see if he can find that hurt, the pain from when Keegan went to Ghost instead of him. There's a faint twinge, like the snapping of a rubber band, but that's it. He's rational enough to know what decisions needed to be made there and set aside that pain. It probably doesn't hurt that he doesn’t remember it too clearly, blurry in his mind under the effects of a forced heat and hours of pain.
It helps, though, when Keegan brings up the bond. It settles the lingering fears in the back of his mind. The one that screamed that even though he wasn't touched, that even though Keegan is here telling Roach that he loves him, that he was going to lose this. Lose him.
The promise of the bond, on Keegan's words and in his scent, takes the last bit of pain and washes it away. Hurt and scared is better than dead, and he doesn't want to live without Keegan in his brain.
They walk slowly back to the training room, Keegan is still hurt and Roach isn't ready to be with other people, but they need to go. Roach isn't going to drop, he didn't share his heat, and he needs to be there for Pack. Him being there should help, proof that Pack Omega is safe.
Or so he thought. Roach moves to stand next to Price and Laswell, and Ghost reacts so strongly to his scent that even in his sleep he's snarling, scent lashing out. Roach nearly falls back, stumbling, in his attempt to get away from Ghost. He’s seen where his headspace is at and- if he almost killed Soap , he’ll tear Roach to pieces.
He understands, knows exactly why Ghost is doing this. Even lost in a bond drop he could smell Soap and Roach in that room. Ghost’s Omega recognized a threat to his Mate and Alpha even with their bond torn to pieces. He can’t even imagine that pain, if he stumbled into a room and found Keegan with another Omega- forced or not that would hurt him even fully aware of the situation. Ghost isn’t, mind pinballing between all sorts of different pains and loses.
Price moves to Roach instead, leading him away from Ghost and over to a safer corner. Price gives him a general breakdown of what happened. The way Ghost had dropped when the bond broke, Keegan and Ghost’s massacre, the Commanding that had to be done. At the end Price apologizes, voice thick with regret, explains what Keegan had told them and makes promises to protect him as best he can, now and in the future.
Roach isn’t mad that Keegan shared his past, understands that it’s what had to be done to keep them all safe, still wishes they didn’t have to know. What happened, what’s been done to him, hates the look in Price’s eye, the lingering pity. He swallows the lump that risen in his throat and leans into Price’s shoulder, grounding himself in Pack and Pack Alpha. Offers forgiveness that he shouldn’t have to.
They stay there, lingering in each other’s scents and safety, until Keegan returns to them. Price leaves them, ready to see if Soap has pulled out of his rut and is ready to come back. He’s barely out the door, when Ghost starts to move.
-
Ghost wakes up so suddenly and violently it startles even him. He had been laying there, searching and digging in his own mind for a bond that he couldn’t find. He couldn’t find it and there was a moment, where he knew he could lay down and let that abyss of pain and emptiness take him. There’s the scent of Pack nearby, somewhat welcome, part of it isn’t. Something in that Pack scent makes him want to rip and tear, go back to the red haze of violence and teeth.
Ghost pushes deeper into his own head, trying to find the why. Remembers a voice, guiding him in his ear, so comforting and wrong at the same time. Before that, fighting an Alpha, a friend an enemy, brother and rival all tangled together. Violence and pain pain pain pain, grief. Mission. Loss. Broken gone grief.
Ghost’s eyes snap open and he throws himself to the side, rolling away from the worst of the scents. A low snarl ripping through his teeth. There’s strangers across from him, and he focuses there, throwing his scent. Get out. Get away from me. They run, and Ghost disregards them as soon as the door slams behind them.
The same Alpha he was fighting is there, watching. Ghost finds a new level of threat to put into his scent. The Alpha dips his head, acknowledging. Someone makes a low noise of distress and Ghost snaps to look.
A Beta, Gaz. Ghost skips past him. An Omega, curled up against the wall. Small and nervous. Ghost’s brain rips into two. Half of him relieved to see that man, half of him wanting to make him hurt.
“Simon-” Alpha, Laswell, Ghost turns to her and crouches to attack.
“ Do not.”
There’s one person who can say his name like that. One Alpha who’s allowed. And he’s-
Dead. Gone. The broken bond rises back up and Ghost hits his knees, pushing away from everyone and finding a corner to put his back into. Johnny-
Ghost screams, pain and loss pulling it out of him like shrapnel to the chest. Tearing his mask off, falling to his knees and elbows. It feels like he’s dying and he leans into it. Hopes he is. He can’t live without his Mate. His fingers go numb and there’s people shouting around him.
He’s died before, didn’t remember it taking this long.
-
When the rut finally leaves Soap’s body, another, more powerful thing, takes its place. It’s like losing the bond all over again. The emptiness inside of him compounds tenfold, stealing his breath, rattling inside of his soul. It’s almost like when Simon was dropping, that dragging pain that he has no control over. Only this is worse because he’s alone , suffering through it all by himself.
Even though Simon is alive , alive and whole, the last thing Johnny knew he didn’t even know who he was. And if it weren’t for Keegan, would have ripped out his throat. Soap wishes he had. If he did then he wouldn’t be drowning in this loneliness, this hot sharp pain that never gets better. Only gets worse. That is screaming for his Omega.
Is this what it would be like if Simon actually dies? He won’t… he won’t survive that. The only reason he is fighting against an early grave is because he knows that Simon isn’t dead and when this is all better he’ll have him again. That knowledge is the only thing keeping him going.
By the time Price comes to get him, and bring him back to the Pack, he’s scrapped raw, hollow, but back in his own head. Rut nowhere to be found.
Price tells him about Ghost’s reaction to Roach, what it might mean but he’s not really listening.
Soap is hardly alive, barely functioning, as Price steers him to the training room. He’s lost in the emptiness. Even if he knows Simon is alive, it’s like his Alpha doesn’t. It’s tearing at his insides demanding he let it out to fucking die , because that’s what he wants. Even as his Pack Alpha leads him to Simon, his brain can’t process it, just wants him to give up.
Just before they get to the doors Soap hears it. Hears Simon’s scream, and it sends him down, hitting his knees on the floor as his body reacts to the wailing that his Omega is doing. It’s so strong he can’t move, can do nothing but feel it. Price’s hands are on him, steadying him as best they can, and when it’s finally over, when Soap can hear his own breathing and Price’s soft words instead of just pain, he shoves off his feet and stumbles into the room. Looking. Searching.
-
Roach is tucked away against the furthest wall when Ghost wakes up, and it’s a damn good thing. As soon as he sees Roach, something in his entire being shifts, eyes narrowing, ready to kill . And Ghost will kill him, Roach doesn't stand a chance against the feral energy of a man like Ghost, not as worn down as he is, and even at his best- probably not.
Laswell stops him dead in his tracks, using her Alpha, but not Commanding. It does something to Ghost. He freezes and then throws himself into a corner. Then he screams loud and pained and Roach’s entire Omega is screaming at him to go comfort. To rise up out of his own bullshit and go to his family. Laswell steps in between them, eyes sharp, and head already shaking no.
Roach is trapped between protecting himself and protecting Pack. His Omega wins and he’s on his feet in half a second, faster than Laswell. Roach darts around her as she starts to yell, Keegan does the same, and then there’s a body hitting his. It takes him to the floor, tucking into a roll and protecting his head. Roach is tackled away from his screaming Pack Omega by Keegan, who’s pushing safety and stay even as Roach’s body weight lands on him.
He scrambles off, aware of Keegan’s injuries, eyes wide as he rakes them over his Alpha’s body looking for injuries, smelling for blood. He doesn’t see or smell it. Before he can begin to process anything the door is ripping open and the smell of panicked and worried Alpha assaults his nose. He jerks to look and oh- it’s Soap, somehow finding the worst possible time to make his way back with Price.
-
Ghost is half a second away from launching at that Omega, and going down fighting. Something about the idea appeals to him, like it’s the way he should die. His focus shifts from the Omega, to the Alpha that tackled him. The protective scent flying sets Ghost’s teeth on edge, remembers when he had something like that. Jealously and hate spiral between his ribs, tangled in the complicated mess of Pack.
He’s trying to figure out why he wants to kill them, if he wants it more than dying himself, and more fucking people walk in. Ghost’s vision goes red, pushed to the limit and he throws himself at the first closest threat. The pile of Alpha and Omega in front of him.
He’s a step forward, about to launch himself, and two different Alpha voices tell him to stop. Ghost hits his knees, sobbing. One of them sounded like the voice. The one that got him out of the hospital. The one that’s so close to being right and so fucking wrong all at once.
And thinking of that reminds him of what’s gone. Who’s gone. Johnny. Johnny Johnny Johnny. A scream tries to build and he chokes on it, tears burning his eyes. “Just fucking kill me.”
-
Keegan gets in the way, tackles Roach. Protective instincts going haywire. “Darlin- don’t. Let us handle it. He’ll try to kill you, I’m sorry.” Even as Roach jumps up and away scanning Keegan’s body.
Keegan rolls over, pushing to his feet. Ready to meet Riley. It’s not the plan. But if he has to, he will. He’ll fight and win, because this time he’s aware of everything going on, and knows Roach is safe.
Of course that’s the moment Price and Soap walk through the door. When Keegan’s crouched defensively in front of Roach, Riley’s a half step into launching into an attack. Kate and Soap call out and that- shatters something deeper in Riley. Dropping him to the floor, nothing but a crumpled shape gagging on a scream and begging to die. Soap visibly flinches back.
Fuck. Fucking fuck. Keegan looks from Riley to Soap, to Price. If Riley doesn’t magically recognize Soap, and he won’t, Keegan’s about to have to use his back up plan. One he hasn’t told anyone else about and there’s a good chance the Pack will try to interfere.
Riley’s gasping for breath like he’s forgotten how and is going pale. Shit. Shit.
Keegan meets Price’s eyes, trying to communicate with his eyes. And then growls at Soap. Low. Threatening. Showing every inch of his teeth. Riley shudders, and looks up.
From one moment to the next Riley goes from death pale and sweating on the floor, to launching himself at Soap, knocking him down and taking a protective stance over him to match Keegan’s.
Keegan sneers at him. “Who are you protecting?”
-
Soap has only just entered the training room when Ghost rotates to launch himself in a move that Soap knows means threat . Which confuses him for all of a second because there’s only Pack in the room, only Keegan and Roach-
Roach-
The Omega who was unmated in-heat in the same room with him when he was mid-rut. The exact thing Price warned him might go down is happening right in front of his eyes. Soap shouts, Laswell does too, and the combination does something to Ghost who stops his preparations for assault and looks confused and lost.
His scent is blaring pain and fear and confusion and something that feels like him , which doesn’t make any sense at all. Then he’s hitting his knees with it, full on sobbing. It’s heartbreaking and painful and Soap wants to go to him, has no idea if it’ll hurt or help, but wants to- needs to do something. Especially when he begs to die, face going pale and sickly, like a corpse.
Out of the corner of his eye he sees Keegan’s rolling onto his feet in front of Roach, ready to protect him. Ready to fight his Mate and Soap feels something dark and violent cut through him. Keegan isn’t Pack, and Soap will do whatever he can to protect Simon, even if Simon doesn't recognize him. Like he can read Keegan’s thoughts, the other Alpha growls, threatening, a challenge, topping the sound with a show of his teeth.
Soap can feel the answering growl rise up in his throat. Before it can pass through his teeth and fundamentally change everything , someone is hitting him with the full force of their weight and he’s meeting the mats, staring up at the tiles on the ceiling. It’s Simon , rolling up into a protective stance to match Keegan’s. Soap won’t go through him to get to the Alpha who challenged him, so he stays there, moving to sit up on his heels, ready to protect his Omega if it comes to that.
-
Ghost stays crouched in front of the Alpha, glaring at the other one. He doesn’t know. But the one thing his brain will agree on is that whoever he’s protecting is important. The most important thing in the room. And Ghost wants to die, this seems like an easy answer.
Ghost snarls, loud and angry. The person behind him shifts, like they’re getting to their feet and it snaps something in him. Throwing himself to the side, and turning so he can see both Alphas at once. The one defending the other Omega doesn’t move.
The new Alpha- BrokenLostMate is staring at Ghost. Ghost whines. He knows him. It can’t be him.
“You’re not- you can’t be. Not him. He’s gone.” There’s a terrible ache in Ghost’s chest, like his ribs are being pushed out of his body. He takes a step back, shaking his head, one hand coming up to press at his chest.
The other Alpha shifts his weight and Ghost spins, launching himself. Gets intercepted by the one who hurts. Back smacking into the mats. “Let me die, let me go, I miss him, let me be with him- Johnny.”
There’s a quick flurry of voices, and Ghost can’t process any of them, just staring up at the blue eyes that make him feel like he’s dying.
-
Keegan pushes Roach further behind him, trying to remove him from the situation entirely. If he’s not fucking careful, this’ll end up as a threeway fight and no one will win. Riley is caught between trying to fight Keegan, and protect Soap- but also get away from Soap.
Shifting his weight, about to go for Soap again, and Riley catches it. Turning to attack. Soap catches him, taking him to the mats as quickly as he can, cradling Riley’s head.
Keegan swallows down all of the deeply conflicting emotions. “If it’s not him- not your Johnny then I can do this right?” Twirling the scalpel in his fingers like a threat.
Riley sweeps Soap’s legs, trying to get up. “Who is he? Why do you care?” Keeping his tone as antagonistic as possible. Riley and Soap are glaring at him, and Roach is moving. Keegan puts as much arrogant Alpha into his scent as he can. Roach whines- which was not what he wanted to happen.
Soap’s scent flares up to meet it and Riley’s head snaps around to stare at Roach. Between one blink and the next Riley’s back on top of Soap, pinning and protecting, teeth bared and vile snarling ripping out of his throat.
“Mine. Back off.”
If Omega’s could use Commands everyone in the room would be paste on the walls. Keegan can see Roach take a step closer, and the pitch of Riley’s snarl crawls higher. Either Roach has figured out Keegan’s plan or this is about to end with bodies on the ground.
-
Roach has no idea why Keegan is antagonizing Ghost, but Keegan doesn’t do anything without a reason. So, Roach watches, trying to understand. It’s doing something- forcing Ghost into a protective mode. He’s no longer pale and looking like he’s got one foot in the grave, he’s angry and pissed but he looks alive.
It doesn't make sense until Roach sees the vague recognition in Ghost’s eyes before he’s once more begging to die even as he looks right at the man he’s asking to go to. Keegan is making him see Soap with his instincts, making his Omega recognize Soap and pull it out of the bond drop.
It’s working, until Ghost is going on the attack again and Keegan is throwing his scent- hard. It’s Alpha through and through, strong and sharp and Roach whines involuntarily, thrown off by it this soon out of a heat.
It draws all attention to him, Soap’s scent flaring with Pack protection. Ghost goes feral again, sweeping up on top of Soap, no longer trying to get away but instead keep Roach away. Stake his claim against Roach. Keegan’s way isn’t working, but maybe- maybe Roach can help. Keegan can activate his protection instinct and Roach can activate his claiming one. Two instincts working together to make him see Soap.
Roach takes a step forward, out from behind the protective stance Keegan has taken in front of him. Ghost snarls at him, telling him to back off. He takes another step forward, side eyeing Keegan.
“I’m sorry for this,” he whispers. Keegan doesn’t even have time to ask what Roach means before he’s stepping forward and launching his scent forward like a grenade, just like he did in training. It’s laced with Omega intent, interest. Ghost jerks like he’s been slapped, snarl growing even louder.
Roach ignores it, sending it harder. “Yours?” He asks, moving closer, circling around and forcing Ghost to turn his head to follow. “Who is he then?”
Ghost gives zero warning that he’s going to move, but Roach is fully in his head and not working on instinct. So when he moves, throwing himself at Roach, he sidesteps and rushes to Soap. He grabs the Alpha and pulls him onto his knees and stands behind him. Soap freezes, not sure what to do with Roach’s hand on his neck and conflicted unbonded Omega scents. “Who is this, Simon?”
The other Omega is back on his feet, eyes flicking back and forth between Roach and Soap, so focused on it he doesn’t see Keegan moving.
-
Soap is lost. Lost and confused and doesn’t understand what the fuck is going on. Simon is pushing and pulling, threatening him and begging to die in one second and moving to defend him in the next. Then Roach is tossing out his scent, offering himself up as a potential Omega to Soap , and that’s such a mindfuck he can’t even react to it. Can’t figure out how to deny it when he’s trapped in his own bond drop and missing Mate.
He waits too long, can’t figure it out, misses his chance before Simon is throwing himself at Roach. Sloppily so, missing his jump and hitting the ground. The next thing he knows Roach is behind him, scenting him, touching his neck and daring Simon to compete for him. And he’s helpless to do anything but kneel there and hope whatever Keegan and Roach are doing is working.
-
Ghost is lost. Conflicted. Three people are fucking his entire mind, tearing it into different directions and pieces. The Alpha that hurts to look at, to even smell. He’s Ghost’s. But he can’t be. Ghost lost lost lost his Alpha.
The other Alpha, and a fucking Omega. Who keeps looking at the Alpha Ghost owns. Then the fucker throws his scent, trying to entice, lure. Ghost snarls at him, it hurts his throat, tearing and ripping. The Omega gets too close, and Ghost lunges. Misses. He doesn’t know who that fuck that is.
“ Mine.”
That’s all Ghost knows. That Alpha is his. The fucking black hole in his brain where his bond used to be, and that Alpha. The only two things Ghost has left in the world. The Omega scent marks the Alpha with blue eyes and Ghost slips out of his own body. There’s nothing but the roaring of his heart beat in his ears, and the taste of blood in his mouth.
-
Keegan barely makes it. Knew that they were pushing a dangerous game, and were bound to lose at some point. Roach found the line when he scent marked Soap. Riley’s eyes going completely flat and unseeing. Teeth snapping together, chewing on his lip so hard it bleeds.
“Stop.”
Keegan's Command rips across the room. Roach freezes, Ghost goes so pale for a second Keegan thinks he’s just going to pass the fuck out. Soap turns a look of pure fucking hatred on Keegan.
“Riley. Who is that?” And fuck this isn’t the way he wanted to do this, but the Command is already out. Riley chokes, tears building.
“Johnny- but he died. I felt him die.”
Keegan shakes his head. Waves his hand, so Roach backs off. Getting away from all of them.
“Touch him.” Riley fights the Command, but slowly, inches forward until his hand is on Soap’s shoulder.
“Smell him.” A huge inhale, and a little scrap of clarity in his eyes. Keegan makes a ‘get the fuck on with it’ gesture at Soap.
Riley’s staring at him like he wants to believe and that’s as good as it’s gonna get but Soap is going to have to make the final push.
-
Soap snaps to look at Keegan the second the first Command comes out of his mouth. Alpha hackles rising as someone outside the Pack not only Commands a Pack Omega, but his Omega . He does it again and Soap steps forward.
The only reason he doesn’t rip out the motherfucker’s throat is Simon.
He says his name.
Johnny’s attention snaps right back to him, registering the confusion. The third Command comes and- the Alpha wants Simon to touch him. That’s not what he expected and something in Johnny’s mind shifts. It’s not an Alpha- it’s Keegan, medic. Keegan will fix them. Then Simon touches him, disbelieving but doing it. One more Command and Simon is breathing him in, recognition pulsing in his eyes and Keegan looks at him, gesturing for Soap to do something.
So he does, he reaches up and touches Simon back. He flinches but doesn’t move away. “I’m real,” he tells him. “I’m alive. The bond was taken from us but I am not dead.” Johnny pushes his scent, pushes love and safety, familiarity. “I am right here and I love you. I don’t want anyone else, there will never be anyone else. You are my Mate and I am yours. I promised I would always come home to you, always come back to you. And I did.” He brings his other arm up, completing the hold. “Scent me- please, I want it.”
Needs Simon to cover the smell of Roach lingering on his skin before it kills them both.
-
Roach fucked up, he fucked up so bad. He was trying to recreate the moment where he realized that Ghost was an Omega. Was imitating the scenting he tried to do that day and instead of doing that, Ghost’s eyes went hazy and dull, ready to kill.
So he just signed his own death warrant. And- he hopes it works. Hopes that even if Ghost kills him that it’ll be enough to fix him and Soap. If he’s going to die at least he’s doing it for Pack.
Then the Command slams into the room and Roach freezes. That- was Keegan, and Roach freezes because it’s not directed at anyone. The next one isn’t aimed at him and he unfreezes, enough to follow Keegan’s wave, stepping back from Soap and feeling sick about this whole thing. He hates this. Hates that he scented Soap, hates that Keegan just had to Command an Omega, hates that Soap and Ghost are falling apart. Hates fucking everything that started the moment he woke up in that damn hospital.
But- it’s working. Simon is moving on his own, reaching up to touch Soap’s face, face crumpling into recognition and disbelief, and isn’t pushing Soap away as he pulls them chest to chest. The second Ghost scents Soap and gets scented in return, Roach runs to Keegan. The Alpha opens his arms and Roach buries himself into his chest.
“I’m sorry, I had to try- don’t be mad. I don’t- I didn’t mean that. I don’t want him, only you.” Roach has to say that, get it all out, a repeat of the hospital. Can’t think on that too hard, on what might have happened if Soap was less in control of himself. If Roach had gotten off that bed. Keegan makes a pained sound but then tucks down- breathing in deeply. “Are they okay- can we go? Did- did we fix them?”
-
Ghost touches the Alpha. Simon gets Johnny’s hands on his skin. He doesn’t understand, but is so tired of fighting. Everything hurts, and his brain feels like it’s barely in one piece. There’s a bit of shuffling, and Simon looks. Seeing Keegan and Roach and-
Snarls at them. Which is- way out of fucking line. Hurts to do it too. Like at some point he’d just deep throated a blow torch in the past twenty four hours. Roach flinches back, and Simon wants to apologize. Wants to break his hands. Finally gentle hands tip his head away. Simon looks at Johnny.
“I don’t- understand.” Sways slightly on his feet, heart feeling like it’s going to rip out of his chest. “Johnny- love you.” Simon’s world goes dark.
-
Keegan’s holding Roach when Riley snarls at them again. Keegan covers it with a low rumble, just loud enough for Roach to hear. Pushing comfort in his scent and walking them backwards. Unfortunately, Riley and Soap are between them and the door. “I’m not mad- I promise. You did perfect. He needed a push and mine wasn’t working. You helped. I know you don’t want him. I know. We can-”
Riley hits the ground like a sack of fucking bricks and Soap’s scent goes so sharp with panic Keegan goes light headed. “Check- pulse. Soap now.” They should be way out of danger for the bond shock to do that, Keegan hopes it’s just Riley’s body needing a break, and the day catching up to Riley. Being sedated to hell and back is not the same as sleeping. Please let it just be that.
Soap snaps back into it, getting two fingers on Riley’s neck. Finds a pulse. “It’s here- fast.”
Keegan exhales. “It’s just- exhaustion probably. Stress. Take him- to your room. Scent block it if you can, if not, try to throw your scent before he wakes up. I have my phone, and we’ll be right down the hall.” The absolute best thing to do is get those two alone, now that Riley knows who the fuck Soap is. And away from Roach until they rebond. Which- Fuck. Keegan has no idea what that will do to either one of them.
Soap nods, and starts pulling Riley into his arms. Keegan leans down, gets his hands under Roach’s thighs, and pulls him up too. Price and Laswell move ahead of them, opening doors.
Keegan nods to Soap as he stands in the hall, waiting for Gaz to help him.
“If you need anything. Text me. Call me. Shout really fucking loud.”
-
Johnny moves fast, fingers slipping over Simon’s throat to look for a pulse, finds it and the relief that hits would put him on his knees if he wasn’t already there. Numbly, he follows Keegan’s instructions, scooping Simon off the floor and cradling to his chest.
He’s damn near out the door when he remembers the state of his room. “Gaz- I need you with me, please?” And there’s a bit of desperation in his tone, enough that the Beta practically sprints to his side.
Johnny leads them back to his room, Keegan and Roach behind them. “I need you to go in there first and spray the scent canceling stuff. Use the whole fucking bottle. Strip the bed, new sheets. Then, I need you to push your scent as hard as you can, cover everything with Beta. I can’t have him smelling the- the rut that’s all over our room or the fucking- the sadness that’s staining everything.”
Gaz nods, disappears into the room, and shuts the door. Johnny stands there and holds Simon, nodding at Keegan as he and Roach disappear into their room.
As soon as Gaz is done he thanks him and places Simon on the bed. Slowly, he releases his scent, pushing love as best he can. It’ll make the room smell like him, and not them, but as soon as Simon is awake they can fix that. He gets Simon as close to clean as he can and then dresses him in clothes that still smell like him, doesn’t want anything with their bond in case it sets him off again. Doesn’t want Simon to smell that before he sees him.
Then he does the same for himself, getting in the quickest shower of his life and re-dressing before climbing into the bed and pulling Simon to his chest. He’ll stay awake until his Mate wakes, and then, he’ll make sure that his Mate is actually his Mate. They’re not leaving this room again until the bond is re-sealed.
-
Roach can barely process what’s happening anymore. Keegan isn’t mad at him for offering himself to another Alpha, but he catches the tail end of a snarl from Ghost before it can be covered and he wants to cry. That’s his Pack Omega, and he hates Roach, wants to kill him, and Roach doesn’t blame him. He and Ghost are going to have to have a long conversation at some point. Once his bond is back, once Roach feels like he isn’t going to fall over.
Then Ghost collapses, and Roach whines, the sight ripping out his heart. Soap’s face does something somehow more horrible until he finds a pulse. Exhaustion, Keegan says, just exhaustion. The relief is there in the whole room, and then Keegan is lifting him up and hurrying them to his den.
Roach gets placed on the ground as soon as the door is shut and he yanks Keegan as close to him as he can get. “What do we do now?” About Soap and Ghost, about Roach’s scenting another Alpha, about Keegan’s guilt over Commanding an Omega, about their own bond. There’s so fucking much and Roach doesn’t know where to start. The room still smells like his heat and there’s a pseudo nest on the floor crumbled behind the door and everything is just so much.
-
Keegan sets Roach down carefully, and pushes his scent. Draping it over Roach like a blanket. “We have to wait. Let them figure it out. Soap’s smart- he’ll handle it. And if he can’t, we’re close enough to help.” Hopes he doesn’t have to. If Soap calls, Keegan will need to leave Roach here. Riley might not recognize them, and attack again. Or worse. Recognize them and attack anyways. It’ll keep breaking Roach’s heart.
It’s neither of their faults, Roach didn’t choose to be in that room and Keegan wants to hit Riley for blaming him. Knows the idiot Lieutenant can’t tell the difference. Keegan shakes his head, trying to clear it.
“We’re gonna stay here. You can- if you want. Fix your nest. I’ll help clean up, and then we’re gonna lay down. My phone ringers on, so we’re going to sleep.” Keegan cradles Roach’s face in his hands, leaning in to kiss his forehead.
“I love you so much. I’m sorry Riley is taking it out on you. But we’ve done all we can for them. I need to- before we lay down. Check my stitches. Do you want to help?” Giving Roach something else to think about, instead of beating himself up about something neither of them broke, and neither of them can fix.
Chapter 3: Spite
Summary:
Title from Vandaveer
Chapter Text
Ghost wakes up in a different place again, and struggles with it. He keeps- losing time, and waking up somewhere new. It’s grating on his mind, the vulnerability of it. If he’s not awake, then someone else keeps moving him. Hands- on his skin when he can’t protect himself. The panic rises. He’s in- a bedroom. The only thing he can smell is Alpha. It’s comforting and terrifying in the same measure.
The whine that pulls out of his throat hurts, tears running down his cheeks from behind closed eyes. His body doesn’t respond when he tells it to move. To run. To escape. He can’t. The mattress shifts, like another body is on it and Ghost sobs.
“Please-”
Hands pull on his face, and Ghost opens his eyes. Staring right up at his dead Mate. A bit of the fear fades, but the pain that rises up over it is worse. Crying hurts, his throat feels shredded and torn. Tries to talk anyways.
“I miss you- should have died with you. I don’t know how to live without you-” The ghost of Johnny frowns at him and Ghost fights through it. His voice is awful, cracking and wrecked. “We were supposed to have a life, you deserved so much more than me. Pups and happiness. I can’t do this without you. Miss you, love you.”
Johnny talks to him, and Ghost can’t understand the words. Focuses nearly entirely on the accent. “I heard you. But it was wrong. Right accent, wrong voice. Commanded me out of the hospital. Why did you do that?”
-
Johnny feels like he’s being ripped apart. An Alpha Commanded his Omega, to save his life, but apparently the only one they could find had a Scottish accent. Similar enough that he thought it was Johnny, but knew it wasn’t because he was dead . It kills him, a little, but he forces down the hurt. Doesn’t know if pretending it was him would help or hurt, doesn’t know what to do here at all.
“That- wasn’t me, Simon. It was someone else, someone who knew I was alive and wanted to bring you home to me. They knew how much I love you and brought you home safe.” Johnny keeps holding Simon’s face. “I don’t know how to make you see that I am alive- but I am. I am here, and I will be here forever. We can re-seal the bond, but you have to see me first. I won’t do that without permission.”
If he did that it might kill them.
“I need you to look at me, smell me , remember my scent? I offered it to you on your heat. You like to bury in my scent gland and chew on it like a toy so you can get more of it. You can do that now, if you want. Bite me again, claim me. Put your teeth on me until I can put mine back on you.” It’s something familiar, Johnny hopes it helps.
-
Roach doesn’t want to wait. Wants everyone to be fixed . Now. He knows that’s not possible, but it still sucks. It hurts that Ghost hates him just for being in that room, for being an Omega, for reacting so poorly to Roach trying to save him and Soap. Hates it.
But Keegan is giving him options, to fix his nest, to help with his injuries. Distractions, that’s all they are, and he knows that but he also knows they’ll work. “I’ll do the nest, and then I’ll join you in the bathroom. Okay?” Keegan nods, leaning down to kiss his cheek and then disappears into the attached bath.
Roach goes to the nest, moving the pillows back into place from where they’ve shifted. Retucking the blankets and making space for him and Keegan right in the center. When he’s satisfied he makes his way back to Keegan. He’s sitting on the toilet, jeans pulled off, sitting just in his underwear. There’s stitches on his thigh and his side where he was stabbed. Bruises and other cuts, lining his torso and limbs.
He whimpers in sympathy and slides onto his knees, taking the swaps and alcohol from Keegan. Roach carefully drags the cotton over the stitching, doing it exactly as Keegan taught him. They’re silent as he goes, until he’s cleaned them both and Keegan sits back to rewrap them. Roach stands, watching.
Thinks about the bond, remembers what Keegan promised him and tries to shove it down. They both said a lot of things, and Roach isn’t sure what’s true and what isn’t. What was meant and what wasn’t. Their Pack isn’t back together, not fully, and that’s what Keegan said had to happen before, but with no other distraction, he can’t help but let that promise ring in his mind. Keegan slowly looks up from where he’s wrapping himself, nose twitching as he smells that want.
“Sorry,” Roach offers. “Just- ignore that.”
-
Ghost turns his head, leaning on the hands a little harder. “S’funny. They call me Ghost, but I’ve always seen them. My family. Now you. But I can’t ever touch-”
Blinks. Touch. Tilts his head further and drags his nose over strong fingers.
Touch. Simon launches himself, hitting a familiar body. Pressing it into the bed. Rolling until he’s fully on top of-
Johnny. Johnny. Simon slides shaking hands over the mohawk he knows so well. “How- I felt you die. Felt the bond break, can’t- you’re not there. But you’re here.” There’s nothing in his brain except his own screaming Omega and confusion. Processes some of the words and- that doesn’t make any fucking sense.
“It wasn’t you? But I thought-” If Johnny’s not dead, and Simon’s realizing that more and more by the second, no matter what his instincts are saying, Johnny’s here. Alive and warm under him, in their bed. Tries to remember.
Scottish accent, commands. Not Johnny. But why-
Johnny. Bleeding and on the floor. Rut burning in his nose. Unbonded Omega, in heat, scent thrown across the room, pleading and begging. For Johnny. For his fucking Mate.
Simon snarls, low and furious, putting it into his scent and throwing it as hard as he can. Possessive, drowning the room, the faint neutral scent lingering in the corners blasted away. Covering the Alpha scent with his.
“ Mine.” The option to claim his Alpha again snaps his brain back into gear. Simon pushes down, shoving his face into Johnny’s neck and setting his teeth to unmarked skin. Hates it. So much. Knows that at one point his teeth had left imprints here, another thing stolen.
Simon bites down, claiming with his teeth and scent, everything he has. If he- Johnny’s not dead but if Simon loses him to another Omega. Whining into Johnny’s skin, pleading, begging. Please, choose me again.
-
Keegan’s trying to get his stitches rewrapped so they don’t snag when he sleeps and the sharp spicy scent of want hits him. Ignore that? Absolutely fucking not. Not for anything in the world, would he make the choice to ignore Roach wanting something. Can’t now. Not after everything. After sitting on the wrong side of the door while his imprinted Omega begged and pleaded for him during a heat.
He’s careful, pushing to his feet and pulling Roach into a hug. Can’t even begin to keep the Alpha from seeping into his tone. “Don’t- don’t hide from me. If you want something- tell me. I’ll go insane if you don’t. Let me give it to you if I can.”
It could be anything. Keegan will break his own bones and reshape them if that’s what Roach needs. Remembers a thought from early, when he was leaning on the door. Whatever Roach asks for, Keegan will give. That thought brings back a promise he’d made.
“It’s the bond. Isn’t it?” Roach goes stiff and frozen in his arms. Keegan is violently aware of his own teeth. It’s not- ideal. Between the blood loss and the pain, Keegan’s body is on the edge of forcing him down.
But the imprint holds him up. Keegan walks them out of the bathroom slowly, angling towards the nest. Stops right at the foot of the bed. “If that’s it. Ask. It’s yours. It’s yours whenever you want it.”
He’d delayed this, trying to make sure Roach wanted it. Wanted to bond on their own terms, had a picture in his head of Roach, panting and flushed, several orgasms deep and incapable of anything other than taking Keegan. But- shit doesn’t work out the way he pictures it very often. If Roach wants him, the bond, to be Keegan’s Mate, and for Keegan to be his. He’ll use his teeth right fucking now.
Roach eases out of his arms, climbing into the nest. Keegan watches him, waiting. To be told what to do.
-
Johnny lets Simon roll him onto his back, doesn’t fight him as he presses him into the mattress with his full weight, eyes shining with disbelief that he can feel him . Because he can’t feel ghosts, can’t feel the dead, but he can feel Johnny and that is what’s important. He shivers when Simon’s hands go to his hair, tracing his scalp with an almost reverence. Johnny’s careful not to interrupt as Simon works through this on his own, coming to terms with reality and truth.
Then he blasts the room with Omega intent. Possessive and strong, more powerful by miles than what Roach had thrown out in the training room. It’s so strong Johnny has to fight back a sneeze, eye watering. He can’t even smell himself, scent covered by the smell rolling off of his Mate.
As soon as Simon moves to bite him Johnny turns his head, exposing as much of his throat as he can, letting Simon dig his teeth in as hard and as far as he wants. “ Yours .” He says it to the side of Simon’s head, layering his own intent into his scent. Knows Simon gets a mouth and nose full of Johnny’s desire to have him. Knows it when he whines, that receiving sound that tells Johnny’s Alpha that this Omega wants him, Wants his bite. Wants his claim.
His mouth waters with it, teeth aching as he clamps down on empty air. He’s moving without thought, rolling them so Simon is underneath him. He loses the teeth on his neck and they both hate it.
“Say yes, Simon,” he’s so careful to keep his Alpha tone away from this, swallowing the saliva that’s pooling in his mouth. “Tell me yes and I’ll claim you. Make you mine again .”
“ Please ?”
Johnny growls at the word, won’t deny Simon a damn thing. “ Yes-” he moves fast, lips parting just before they touch skin and sinks his teeth into Simon’s neck. He has just a second to remember the taste of Simon under his tongue when the bond snaps.
It clicks into place, the missing piece of his soul. His Mate is back into his head, bond swirling with the lingering pain, betrayal, loss, but mixing with relief and love and finally.
“ Mine ,” he pulls back just far enough to run his tongue over the fresh mark. “ Yours .” He bites again, layering another bite over the first. “I’m never losing you again, won’t ever lose you again.”
-
Keegan calls him out on it, the bond, because of course he knows Roach well enough to know what he wants. Roach doesn’t answer, there’s no point in denying it, but he doesn’t want to admit it. Not outloud, not like this. Instead he lets Keegan steer him out of the bathroom until he’s right next to the bed, standing at the foot of it.
It’s not how he wants it, knows it’s not how Keegan wants it. Wants it to be soft and loving, wants it to be something that drowns him. This won’t be that. It’ll still be gentle and he’ll still feel loved, but it won’t be the perfect thing that they wanted.
Roach and Keegan both seem to be bad at getting what they want. Is Roach ready to take this from him?
He pulls away from Keegan, climbing backwards into his nest. When Keegan doesn’t follow, just stands there staring, Roach pauses. Thinking, unsure. He wants , he knows Keegan wants, doesn’t know how to balance that with what he thinks they deserve.
“It’s the bond, of course it is. I wanted your bite before I even knew what it was like to kiss you. The imprint was that strong,” and Roach never told Keegan that before. Can see the shock flash across his face. “But I don’t want it like this- I-” Roach feels like he’s going to cry, or something. “I want it because we’re happy and in love and not because we’re scared to lose each other. Scared to not have it. Tell me what to do here- Keegan-”
He chokes on it. “I feel like I’m back in the training room, lost holding a pair of keys to a car I don’t know how to drive. Tell me what to do , please?”
-
Simon has a mouthful of his Alpha’s scent, the desire matching his. Both of them throwing possessiveness into the air until it’s all he can smell. When they roll it hurts, his shoulder, his ribs. He doesn’t fucking care. Not when Johnny’s offering to claim him again.
Alpha still wants you. Simon begs for it. Needs the bond back, more than he needs air. Has to feel it, the security that Johnny wants him. And not the other Omega. The one who was in heat, and could have helped. Not like Simon. Not feral and lost and out of his mind.
The press of teeth on his neck shoves that breakdown to the side, shelving it for later. The bond snaps back into place and his brain gets flooded with MatelovestaykeepMatelovelove. There’s other things, low in the bond. Pain and grief, sadness and loss. Simon sobs at the second bite. It’s not necessary, but it soothes him a bit. That Johnny wants him enough to layer a second claim.
“Mine- yours. Stay. Please. I’ll be good- it won’t happen again. You’ll never need another Omega- I can do it. I can be good.” The jealousy is rising. Part of Simon’s brain is screaming at him, to not push for more. To take what he’s been given, the second chance, and be fucking happy with it. The rest of it is snarling, a mess of emotions, instincts telling him to present. To show his Alpha that he made the right choice, to give his Mate what he should have hours ago.
A new horrible noise rips out of him. A whine, begging to be touched, taken, used.
-
Keegan should have asked. At some point before this. He should have asked Roach how hard the imprint hit him. Because like a fucking fool he assumed it was riding him harder. It isn’t. Keegan hadn’t thought about trying to bond Roach until he’d had him whimpering and floating under his hands on the training room mats. Hadn’t let himself linger on it. But Roach had. Lingered and wanted. All this time.
He’s about to climb into the nest, knows he’s welcome to do that, and offer his teeth. But- “I don’t want it like this.”
Keegan flinches, can’t help it. It’s not a rejection. It’s what he’s said to Roach before. Just a delay, not a never. If he’d had any idea how much it hurt to be on the other side of this- they’d have bonded days ago.
“I know. It’s not- how I wanted it to happen. Clearly not how you want it either. I don’t know. We- fuck. I love you.” Keegan focuses there. Slowly making his way into the nest, and twisting around so he can lay his head on Roach’s shoulder. Too close to his neck to be safe, but he needs the touch. The scent.
“It’s not- the way we bond doesn’t change the fact that we would be bonded. Doing it now might not be the right thing to do- but it wouldn’t make me love you less. Wouldn’t make the bond less. I just don’t want you to be alone- ever again. To be somewhere and not have me. I would have done anything to be able to help you today. If we don’t now- then soon. I won’t be able to sleep, my instincts scream at me every time I look away from you. I hate this- that the choice is being forced out of our hands. But I hated you being hurt and alone more.”
-
Johnny gets lost in it for a second. The bond is back running through his brain, running through his body, running through his instincts. The way his Omega his Mate his his his begs for him, asks him to stay. Makes promises and tells him that there’s no one else for him, for them.
A new kind of whine rips out of Simon and Johnny is glad he’s not standing because it would have brought him to his knees, cut him like a puppet with no strings.
It’s desire and need and want and Johnny almost chokes on it, the way he can taste it in the air, in the bond. “Anything,” he spits it out. “Anything you want forever.” He pulls back, kissing Simon with everything he has in him. Pouring love and want as hard as he can until he feels dizzy, until he feels nearly sick, until Simon is moving. Until he’s grasping at Johnny’s clothes and trying to pull them down, ripping at them.
Johnny’s moving, too, dragging his teeth over the skin of Simon’s neck and shoulder, until-
There, under the desperation and begging, something… wrong, panic, fear, but not a memory of it. It’s fresh and open like fire in his nose.
“Simon?” Johnny pulls back, confused, trying to pull him in close. “Simon wait-” Another awful whine, and Johnny’s Alpha screams at him to fix it- fix his Mate.
“Simon Stop.” It’s not a Command, but there’s Alpha in his tone. Simon freezes, eyes opening.
“You don’t really want this- do you,” arguments. “I can smell it, you’re afraid of something and it’s influencing you.” Johnny doesn’t pull all the way off, just far enough back that he’s not pressing his cock into Simon, doesn’t want to sway this. “This- feels like an assault, like I’m forcing you- like you’re only doing this to appease me.”
Simon isn’t arguing, going quiet instead. Johnny feels like he’s going to throw up. “I only want this if you do, too. If you’re only doing this because you think I-” a realization.
His voice goes flat. “I do not want anyone else. There is no other Omega for me in the world. I did not touch him in that hospital because I was waiting for you . You are it for me, but I will not take you if you are being coerced. I am not- I don’t want anything between us to feel like an assault. Do you understand? Please, tell me you understand. This is not a rejection, you can smell how much I want you. Want this. But you smell scared and I hate that so much.”
-
Roach sees the flinch, recognizes and understands it. Has felt that flinch in his soul every time Keegan told him ‘it’s not no, it’s not right now’. Tries not to let it feel like he’s being stabbed. He hurt his Alpha, so he fails, feeling like he can’t breathe right. But Keegan doesn’t run away, or break. Instead he tells Roach that he loves him and moves forward, climbing into the nest and pulling himself into his touch.
His face is so close to Roach’s neck and he could scream with it. Suppresses any sound that might try to rip out of him as he focuses on Keegan’s words again. He sounds like he’s tearing himself apart in the indecisions, too, like he’s right there next to Roach in the wanting but the knowing that it isn’t what they want. But he says he loves Roach, regardless of how this happens, that the bond is theirs even if it isn’t how they wanted it.
Roach leans over, pulling Keegan tight, moving Keegan up to his neck. He can feel the way he breathes in, feels the rush of air as Roach pushes him right up to his scent gland. His heart is rabbiting in his chest, he feels hot and cold, but- this is what he wants. This is what Keegan wants. His fingers go to Keegan’s hair, holding him against his skin, tight enough to be understood but loose enough that if Keegan wants to pull back he can.
“I want it, to be yours, to feel you in my head. To have everyone see your teeth and know we belong to each other,” he can feel Keegan’s mouth open, the wet heat of his breathing. “There’s nothing I want more than that.”
Roach shudders, feels the teeth.
“Do it. Claim me ”
-
Simon can’t tell what’s going on, which way is up, if gravity even still fucking works. All he can figure out is that he got Johnny back, and his scent matches the awful need in Simon’s bones. The kiss starts hard, desperate and needy, and just burns from there. Like they’re laying in a bed of coals, and not a thin basic issue mattress.
Caught in a spiral of instinct, need and grief and fear pushing his hands. He lost this. The chance to ever have this again, broken bond, competing Omega. His hands shake as they pull at Johnny’s clothes, fighting to get them off. In the very back of his mind, a voice is screaming. That he’s asking for too much.
He still fucking wants. Wants to feel owned. To have every scrap of proof that his Alpha is back. Not just alive, but here.
And then he pulls back. His Mate. Pulls back. Another broken whine from a ruined throat. Please.
Tries to argue, to plead his case. Johnny cuts him off. Simon closes his eyes, waiting for the final blow to fall. As far as he knows the hospital is still standing. If- if Johnny’s realized. How badly Simon failed him, as his Mate, Omega, and Lieutenant. They can probably go back.
“M’sorry. Failed you. Didn’t- get to you in time. Didn’t help you- with the rut. Got in the way of someone who could.” He hears the words, the promise that there’s no one else that Johnny would rather have. They don’t make sense. Combined with what Simon knows, and what he feels. Feeling Johnny pull his hips back, the certainty that was there, in the press of a hard cock to Simon’s thigh vanishing. Goes quiet.
If this- he survived once. Nothing more than a weapon. And he was useful. Keegan can- point him at targets. And the Voice, can make sure he doesn’t hurt his Pack anymore. Simon tries to reach for it. To find Ghost.
He’d wanted this. And wasn’t worthy of it. Simon’s eyes slide away, finding the wall. “I failed you.” His own tone going flat, rasping with the abuse he’s put his voice through. “Wasn’t good enough. Tried to kill you in that room, instead of helping, or at least getting out of the fucking way for someone better. It was always too good to be true.”
His fingertips are cold, even with the bond back, his Omega is throttling him. He fought an entire hospital's worth of people, and won. He can’t win against himself. “I should have been better. ” Curling over on his side, the pain radiating out from his mind and through his body. He might be crying. He might be screaming. Simon is just- there. Swamped in it.
-
Keegan was ready to lay there, inches from where he wanted to be. Would stay there for the rest of his life. Startles when Roach presses on the back of his head, moving him until his lips are nearly brushing skin. Mouth dropping open reflexively.
Roach’s voice is the steadiest it’s been since they’ve been back on base. Finally certain. Firm even. Telling Keegan what he wants. Black and white terms. No room for misinterpretation. Keegan scrapes his teeth of Roach’s neck, testing. Other than a slight hitch in his breathing, Roach is still steady.
Keegan hears claim and his whole body flashes hot. “I will. I got you. Love you darlin.” It’s not- what they’d wanted but he can try. Keegan shifts, bracing himself with one hand so he can lean over Roach, instead of lay next to him. Tracing the scent gland with his lips, soft kisses. Roach shifts, scent going softer and sweeter. Keegan licks up his neck, getting a concentrated hit of pure coffee and want on his tongue. For the last time. The next time he does this there will be hints of grassy fields and hot metal.
Drags it out until Roach is moving under him, impatient and needy. Keegan lets an inch of Alpha into his voice. “ Mine. ”
As soon as he bites down Keegan groans. The bond comes in like sunlight through stained glass. Beautiful and bright and colorful. Everything melding together. He can feel the way Roach loves him, the depth of it. The insane fucking depth of it. The joy and relief. Keegan pulls back just enough to soothe the new mark, little licks and kisses. Roach was already the center of Keegan’s world, the bond cements that.
Panting over freshly marked skin, Keegan eases his body down, laying most of his weight onto his Mate. “Love you- feel you. Mate- Roach. Got you.” Keegan shifts from just, observing the bond, letting it wash over him. And focuses every piece of him back into it. Needs Roach to feel it too. It’s not what he’d planned, but it’s fucking perfect.
-
Johnny feels his heart break. His Alpha shatters. His soul gets removed from his body. Every bad thing that he ever thought could happen, everything that Johnny pictured going wrong in his life. Nothing compares to this. Nothing could possibly be worse than this.
Simon thinks he failed Johnny somehow, in that hospital, as his Omega and his Mate. It’s not true but Simon’s entire Omega and every single one of his instincts is tearing him apart. Johnny knows, because in one moment he is looking at the man he loves, at the man who has his everything, and the next he’s looking at Ghost.
Ghost is tearing his throat out apologizing, talking about his failures. Failures that don’t exist. Talking about being better as he pulls away from Johnny and starts to sob into the sheets, body racketing with the violent shaking.
He has no idea what to do to get him out of his head, to bring him back, to make him understand. Johnny doesn’t, Alpha does.
Johnny moves, grabbing Simon by the back of the neck, scruffing him. “ Calm down. Breathe. ”
Simon gasps in a deep breath and Johnny wants to die.
“ Listen to me .” Simon’s eyes jerk to him.
Slowly, calmly, with as much Alpha as he can put into it without it being a Command, Johnny releases his hold on Simon’s neck and tells him everything. About how it was his name and their love that kept him sane and kept him safe. How Roach and Keegan only did what they did to save them. How Johnny wanted to die without the bond even though he knew Simon was alive because it hurt that badly without it.
“I never want anyone else but you ever again. I love you, and if this is what you need. If I am what you need, then I will give it to you. But you have to want it, Simon. You . Not your Omega, not your instincts. This is not Alpha and Omega, it is Simon and Johnny. It is you and me. And I will tell you this every day for the rest of our lives if I have to.”
“I love you,” he ends with it. “And I am yours. ”
-
Roach expected the bite, right then and there. Keegan’s lips are already parted, teeth right there , but Keegan pulls away. Not far enough for a rejection, just far enough to whisper into his skin. He fills the space with love and promise and he gets filled with it. Scent softening even more, sharpening into want and desire as Keegan licks his skin, kisses him.
Repeats those touches over and over until Roach is shifting, moving, desperate. He can’t sit still, wiggling, ready . Then, Keegan’s voice spills over his skin, deep and Alpha. The ‘mine’ rings in his ears and before he can respond with a whine or a claim of his own, Keegan’s teeth break his skin.
Roach goes hot and cold and then hot again, his entire body breaking out into goosebumps. The bond shines in his mind like a beacon in the darkness, lighting up every single bit of him from the inside out. It’s like thermite blasting inside his veins, sparking in his mind. He explodes with it, a groan tearing out of him, loud and unbridled. He can feel Keegan’s love in his mind , rolling around over and over. Can feel his desire to protect like a gunshot. Keegan’s entire being put into him like an injection right to his veins.
“I love you,” he gasps. “Mate- Alpha- Mine. ” Something possessive strikes through him. He rolls into Keegan, pushing him back onto the bed so he can throw a leg over his hip. Instinctively avoiding his injury. Presses desperate kisses to Keegan’s mouth, tasting him. Pulls back to inhale a deep breath and smells them . “I smell us,” he says it fast, shocked. “Smell you on my skin. Exactly where you belong.”
-
If you’d asked Simon, three days ago, to list out things that would never happen. His Mate scruffing him would have been in the top five. But it happens, and the Command hits at the same time. Simon gets shifted around in his own head. Gasps for air because Johnny tells him to. Looks at his Alpha like there’s a magnetic pull. Listens.
It breaks his heart that Johnny made it through with Simon’s name. It makes a sick kind of sense. Johnny knew what had broken the bond, knew it was fake, and chemical induced. Just like the rut. Simon could live for a hundred years and never forgive himself for making his Mate suffer a rut alone. He can’t smell it, knows that Johnny is behind that. But he’d bet everything he owns that Johnny didn’t touch himself once. Just sat here, alone and hurt.
Finding out the bond shock was just as bad for Johnny, even knowing Simon was alive doesn’t help either. It’s not a competition, to see who hurt worse, but if it was Simon wishes he had won. There’s no more Commands coming, so Simon turns, wincing as it pulls on his shoulder.
“I love you- I can’t think. It hurts. Too many things hurt, and I can’t figure out how to stop any of them.” He still wants. But it’s half him, craving the feeling of Johnny, the connection, the way he feels owned with every time he comes on Johnny’s cock. But it’s half Omega too. Needing to prove he’s still good, possessive and angry. The other Omega won’t look twice if he can smell Alpha on Simon’s skin and in him.
Simon moves slowly, aware of injuries he doesn’t remember getting. Sliding across the bed. “Please?” Johnny opens his arms and Simon falls into them. Curling up as small as he can, face hidden in his Mate’s neck, right over his own teeth marks. “I love you- M’sorry for pushing. You’re right. I just- I want it. My Omega needs- but not right now.”
Before they leave. Simon’s aware that they have to leave this room at some point. He’s exhausted. Can feel the same tiredness in the bond. Simon tries to settle down, enough to sleep, or just enough to let Johnny sleep. Blinks and feels a hand on his cheek.
-
Keegan can’t help the stupid grin stretching his face. “I smell it darlin’. Like coffee in a meadow. Just like I said. On you and on me. It’s perfect.” Loves Roach so much for the way he dodges assorted injuries without a moment of hesitation. Settles his hands on his Omega’s hips. Flexing his fingers there and kissing Roach back as hard as he can.
Tipping his head to the side to go back to the bond mark. He knows it’s permanent, but can’t stop himself from layering another softer bite over it. Roach gasps and on reflex Keegan’s hips roll up. Surprising the hell out of them both when he grinds his hard cock into his Mate’s ass. Keegan leans back, meeting Roach’s eyes.
There’s a faint blush on Roach’s cheeks and Keegan’s Alpha grabs him by the neck.
“Look at you. Pretty little Mate. Blushing over a little grinding- what else could I do to you, huh?” Keegan watches Roach’s pupils dilate and gives him a smug little smile. Knocks the Alpha out of his voice.
“We don’t have to- if you don’t want. But if you wanted to you can fuck yourself on my cock. Like a mating present, getting to see you ride me.” Keegan keeps his hands soft, letting Roach decide.
-
Johnny accepts Simon into his arms as easy as he breathes. Simon listened and heard and is now responding with words that aren’t just brought on by his Omega. It’s enough to settle him back into himself, pull away from the Alpha that just did things he never thought he would. He pulls them down onto the bed, easy and open, prepared to hold his Mate for the rest of the night.
Thinks on Simon’s words, the one’s not influenced by their loss. His admission that he does want this- needs this, is willing to wait if Johnny isn’t ready sparks something in his chest. Simon- feels tired, exhausted in his head, but there’s still need thrumming under his skin.
He moves, slowly and gently, resting his hands on Simon’s face and pulling him towards him. Johnny kisses him soft and easy, pushing love as hard as he can. Kisses Simon over and over, until his limbs unfreeze and he reaches out to touch Johnny back. Then he parts his lips, easy and slow, licking into Simon’s mouth before pulling back, switching back to closed mouth presses.
“I love you,” he whispers, as they pull back for air. “You can have me, if you want, or I can have you in the morning.” He kisses him again, a little harder but just as sweet. “I won’t deny you again.”
-
Keegan once more bites over his bonding spot, teeth pressing into the fresh bite there. It sends a bolt of electricity down his spine and Roach gasps. Moans when Keegan’s hips press up into him, where he’s spread out over Keegan’s lap. If they were naked it might have been enough for Keegan to press into him. The thought makes him groan. It’s loud and he blushes, almost embarrassed by how needy it sounded.
Can’t feel it for very long when his brain explodes with how much Keegan liked the sound.
The bond lets him feel just how turned on Keegan is, the pleasure compounding inside of him. So Roach knows Keegan’s about to say something filthy before he even opens his mouth. Calls him pretty in that Alpha tone and Roach preens, loves when Keegan calls him that. Asks Roach to ride him, something they haven’t done yet.
Roach whines, leaning down to kiss Keegan hard, teeth clacking for a second as he completes his straddle, getting his leg the rest of the way over Keegan’s hips and grinding down. Shudders when their cocks brush together, separated by too many layers.
“Yes- wanna- wanna be pretty for you, give you everything.” Roach pulls back and rips off his shirt. “Take it off, Keegan, please?”
Keegan grins up at him, Roach sees the teeth that just permanently rewrote his brain and he goes a little dizzy with it. Slides off of Keegan in a flash and starts to undo his pants, watching Keegan sit up and pull off his shirt. Sees the bandage and pauses. “Are you- I’m not gonna hurt you- am I?”
-
Simon nearly moans at the first pass of Johnny’s tongue against his lips. Helps shift him a little further from instinct and back to him. Lets the kiss take him, sweep him up in love and want. Not that horrible need that felt like it was going to destroy him and burn Johnny with him.
“I love you- was so worried.” Presses back into another kiss, it’s soft and loving and everything they almost lost. Simon lets that little bit of fear go, instead of lingering over it. Lets the wound scab over instead of shoving his fucking hands into it and making it bleed.
They could. He could have his Alpha, knows Johnny’s right there with him. But- Simon knows what almost happened. He’s been so focused on hating the other Omega, but Johnny’s choice had been taken and Simon doesn’t want to add onto that.
“We can- in the morning. Or just- I can’t. I’ll go fucking insane if we leave and you don’t smell like me. I can’t even think his name yet. And I know- Pack is important.” Simon needs Johnny to know where he’s at mentally. Even if it’s a fucking disaster zone.
Instead of lingering on that any more, Simon does the only thing he can think of to help. He can feel how fucking tired Johnny is. Like sand on his skin, grating and painful. So he brings a hand up, and runs his fingers over Johnny’s brows, forehead and cheekbones.
He knows it’ll put Johnny to sleep almost immediately. It’s a dirty trick but one of them should sleep. And it won’t be Simon.
-
Keegan pauses in his mission to get them both naked quickly. Takes stock of himself. Roach deserves his honesty here.
“No- if you. If you ride me I’ll be okay. The worst one is my leg so I can’t, put a lot of pressure on it. But I can do this.” Keegan shifts his hips, pushing his pants down and rolls his hips up. Wrapping a hand around his cock as he does. Watching Roach’s eyes follow the movement. Keegan makes a show of it.
Roach’s eyes flick from Keegan’s hand to his face, and he opens his mouth, running his tongue over his upper lip and winks. Roach nearly rips his clothes off and Keegan gets a second hand wave of lust through their new bond so strong his eyes roll back in his head.
“C’mere darlin’. Let me make sure you’re ready, yeah?
-
Simon reacts perfectly to his kiss and his touch, reminiscent of how they were together before. Before everything was taken from them. Listens as Simon talks, letting the words wrap around his brain so he can understand what’s going on with his Omega. Where his head is at.
He asks for it in the morning, wants to have the night for recovering, but makes it very well known that Soap has to leave this room smelling like him or it’ll send Simon off the deep end. He’s still so gone he can’t even think about Roach, and that breaks Johnny’s heart a bit.
The two of them were so close, Pack Omegas always are and now because of some horrible group of people, they’ve lost that. At least temporarily. Simon might not be able to be around Roach again, maybe not until him and Keegan bond which- who knows when that will be. Johnny will have to avoid Roach for a while, an unknown amount of time, and he can feel the cracks and splinters in their Pack deepening.
Johnny’s about to say something reassuring, tell Simon that he loves him and that in the morning they’ll fix this. Fix them. But then soft hands are running over his brow, his cheeks, his forehead and the reaction is immediate. All the tension leaves his body, relaxing into Simon’s touch. It’s a dirty move, but Johnny is so far gone already he can’t even think to say that.
Simon keeps making the movements and before he knows it he’s slipping into unconsciousness.
-
In the filthiest move Roach has ever seen in his life, Keegan lifts his hips up to remove his pants, drawing Roach’s focus to Keegan’s cock with the hand he wraps around it. He can almost taste it, and he flicks to meet Keegan’s eye, gets distracted by the way Keegan’s tongue peeks out, a tease. He gets hit with a wave of lust, shuddering with it as he tears off the rest of his clothes.
Follows Keegan’s requests, pulling his underwear off his legs just as he reaches the edge of the bed. He’s been slick since Keegan started to lick as his neck before the bond, and the bond felt like every orgasm he’s ever had happening at once, so- Roach is pretty wet already.
Still, like a good boy, he climbs back onto the bed and starts to crawl up Keegan’s body. Pauses at his hips, an idea rolling around in his head. Keegan get halfway into asking him if he’s okay before Roach knocks the hand around Keegan’s cock away and replaces it with his mouth.
Keegan bucks up into him like he can’t help it, Roach can feel the shock and the pleasure in the bond, smiling to himself as he goes deeper and feels just how much Keegan likes it. Pulls off to smirk up at him, licking up the side of Keegan’s cock while keeping eye contact, slides a hand up his uninjured leg so Keegan can feel the drag of his nails.
“Do you want me now- or can I play first?”
He hopes Keegan will let him play, they don’t do this very often. Keegan prefers to be inside him or prefers when he’s got his mouth on Roach. Doesn’t mean Roach can’t have his turn, but if Keegan asks for him, he’ll stop teasing and ride his Alpha.
-
Simon watches Johnny slide into sleep, keeps his hands gentle and his scent soft. As soon as the snoring starts he adjusts them, just slightly. Putting himself between the door and his sleeping Mate. With the bond he can tell the second a nightmare starts to build, and cuts it off. He won’t be able to do this every night, eventually Johnny will have to face them. But not right fucking now.
Over Simon’s dead and cold body will anything bother Johnny right now. He tracks the hours by the faint ticking of the alarm clock, and the soft breathing under his hand. Footsteps pass in the hall, and Simon doesn’t even realize he’s bared his teeth at the locked door until they fade.
He’s- so on edge. Knows Johnny deserves to be around Pack, to be supported by people who aren’t still half feral. Can’t talk himself into it. The Omega, and the Alpha that stood between them. Simon flares his scent, refreshing his claim on the room. Johnny grumbles, rolling over and startling awake when his foot slides off the bed. The way Simon had angled them registering as he sits up. Simon tilts his head, looking at him over his shoulder. Raises his chin, offering a hint of submission.
-
Keegan can’t stop the little twitch of his hips. Roach’s mouth on his cock scrambling every inch of his brain. The bond reflects how much Roach likes doing this, so Keegan relaxes. It’s been- a bit of a barrier for him. A little bit of lingering fear that he’ll push too hard, and tip something good into something bad.
But the bond wipes that away. Keegan moans, letting himself be loud, and enjoy it. “Fuck please. Of course you can- feels so fuckin good darlin’.” That little bit of encouragement sends Roach’s hand down his uninjured thigh, nails scraping little lines. Keegan drops his head back, watching out of the corners of his eyes, bringing one hand up to cup Roach’s cheek.
Roach goes from licking at the side of his cock almost lazily, to making a solid attempt to swallow the entire length in one go. Keegan’s free hand fists in the blankets. Roach gives him a smug look, and Keegan makes a solid effort at reflecting the pleasure back down the bond. Knows he’s figured it out when Roach’s cheeks flush.
-
Johnny’s sleep is a mess, nightmares of scents and flashes of horrible things. He’s deep under with it, lulled there by exhaustion and the weight of the last few days. He wakes when the bond and the scent in the air rings with more of that possessive intent, defense, and Johnny rolls, half off the bed and into a sitting position.
Simon is sitting up on the bed, eyes ready to fight but chin tilted up in submission. Johnny- doesn’t like that, but understands. He’s pretty sure Simon’s been there since he lured Johnny into sleep. He’s very careful to move slowly, letting Simon stop him if he wants. “Can I?” He makes sure to ask before he actually touches. A nod, jerky but there, and Johnny slips behind Simon the bed, wraps his arms around him and tucks his face into Simon’s neck.
He presses a soft kiss to the bond mark and feels Simon shiver. “Come to bed, please? We can’t greet tomorrow exhausted and I want you beside me.” Simon shakes his head. “Talk to me, tell me what you need.” Anything, whatever it is, Johnny will do it. He’ll carve his own heart out and offer it on a silver platter if that’s what Simon needs.
-
Roach wants to lean into the feel of Keegan’s hand pressed to his cheek, but he’s a little busy trying to reshape his throat with his Alpha’s cock. It’s been- a while since he’s really done anything like this. Keegan is so careful with him, so careful that sometimes Roach misses out on things that he might like because of that fear. Now though? He’s pretty sure Keegan is figuring out just how wet the feel of him in Roach’s mouth makes him.
He feels like he has the upper hand for once here, offering smugness with his eyes as best he can. But then- Keegan, the absolute bastard, has apparently already figured out how to use the bond, because he can feel how good he’s making Keegan feel and the compounding pleasure makes his head spin.
Not to be outdone, Roach waits until Keegan’s cock is all the way down his throat and then he moans, sending those vibrations as strongly as he can. From above him Keegan chokes on nothing, and Roach looks up and winks. Does it again, just to watch the way Keegan’s hand tightens in the sheets. He pulls back. “You can be a little more aggressive,” he offers. “You’ll be able to feel if it’s too far but- I trust you.”
Keegan doesn’t move, frozen with wide eyes and parted lips. Roach rolls his eyes and puts Keegan’s hand in his curls and then drops low, sucking Keegan’s cock with renewed vigor. He wants Keegan begging for him, not the other way around.
-
Simon leans his head back, until he can rest it against Johnny’s shoulder. Tries to make words out of the soup in his brain. “I- can’t do the things that would help you. And the last time we weren’t together, you got taken. Then I don’t know what you remember- from the hospital. But it was a blood bath. And someone commanded me out of that building, then in the training room when I woke up, and I forced you into doing it to get me to fucking listen last night. I just- it’s too much. Too many commands I don’t know which one I have to follow and they’re all on top of each other and my brain won’t shut up.”
Turns, now that Johnny’s awake the need to stare down the door lessens, rotating in his Mate’s arms and pressing his face into Johnny’s chest. “I can’t go out there. Or I’m going to start a fight with both of them. And I know they helped but I- I don’t know how to get past this. And I’m tired and things hurt and I don’t know why, can’t remember why.”
Simon sighs, almost out of words. “I don’t know what to ask you to do, but anything- trust you. Anything that will make it stop. ”
Please god make it stop. It’s so loud but the room is silent and Simon can hear his own voice snarling a horrible threat. The lights are off but his eyes still burn and ache. It’s everything and everywhere and nothing makes it stop.
-
Keegan chokes on his inhale when Roach moans around his cock. “Jesus fuck-” knuckles popping from how hard he’s holding into the blankets. And Roach is giving permission for more and harder. Keegan scrapes his brain back into something that works.
“I- don’t want to find out what’s too far when it happens. We can- a little.” Taking a firmer grasp of Roach’s hair, focusing for a second on how easy the curls are to hold onto. Waits for those green eyes to roll and thrusts up. Using his grip on Roach’s hair to hold him still, instead of pull him down, gives them both a little more control.
The bond flares like fireworks and Keegan moans. “Feel so fucking good- wanna do this for hours someday, see how long we can take it, until I’m begging to fuck you and you can’t even speak. Then we’ll trade. I’ll go down on you until you cry, make you come so many times you won’t even remember your name. Just mine.”
Keegan lets it happen as long as he can. “Darlin’- please, come on. Wanna see you ride me, don’t wanna come in your mouth.”
-
Johnny isn’t sure what to do, but he can think of a few things that might help. Starts with his words, offers more reassurance.
“We don’t have to go anywhere,” he promises. “Today, tomorrow, or the day after. I’ll get Gaz to bring us food, and we don’t have to leave until you’re ready. No one will think less of you, and it might be good for us. I- lost you, in a way I never thought possible, and I kind of want to keep you locked up in here forever.” Things outside that door are beyond his control and he’s not sure how to make it so that this never happens again. That serum is still out there, and Johnny doesn’t know how to make sure it stays out of them.
Simon seems to relax at that, going less tense in his arms. “I can’t lock you away forever, but a day or two won’t kill them. Pack is important, but you are my Mate and I will sit my ass in this bed until both of us are ready to leave. Okay?” Simon nods, leaning even harder back into his arms, resting his weight on his chest.
“What else can I do?” He leans in and feels greasy hair on his face. “Do you want to shower? I can wash your hair- and if we both get clean I can make sure to scent you really well. No dirt or blood or sweat- just me and you and our bond. Would you like that?” Johnny hopes he says yes, wants to do something for him. His Alpha needs to do that, provide and protect, but there’s a limited number of things he can offer. His words, his love, his promise, and the shower.
-
Roach goes boneless with it when Keegan finally fists his hair. He’s not holding tightly, still being gentle, but it’s still so good. It gets even better when Keegan holds him in place, lifting his hips to fuck into his mouth. It’s exactly what Roach wants, and the bond lights up as he floods it with how much he enjoys it.
Then Keegan is throwing out a fantasy that makes his blood sing. He wants that, so badly, to have Keegan take his pleasure using Roach. Letting him be good , a perfect little Omega. Keegan can let him suck on his cock until he can’t speak, can’t do anything but moan, broken little whimpers of pleasure. It would be perfect, even more so when Keegan changes the roles.
Roach can see it, can damn near feel it. Keegan making him come over and over until he’s crying, overstimulated, begging. It spurs Roach on, and he opens his mouth wider, letting Keegan set the pace, tongue lolling out to lap and suck as best he can.
Then Keegan pulls him off of his cock and makes him look at him. Roach feels light, airy, ready to do anything Keegan asks for. So when he asks for Roach- he goes. Almost on pure instinct he moves, eyes hazy but still seeing, he climbs up Keegan’s body and crashes their mouth together, shifting his hip so he can drag himself over Keegan’s cock, wetting it with his slick as he grinds his own cock into Keggan’s stomach.
Roach whines at it, his own cock hard and leaking, untouched until now. “Help me, wanna- wanna look pretty for you. I’ll be so good. Alpha- want you, please?”
-
Simon relaxes a little at the assurance that they don’t have to go out there yet. Johnny offering him not just the day, but days following. It takes some of the pressure off. Simon nearly passes out with the release of that horrible fucking weight. The need to do better easing. Putting off the inevitable confrontation a little bit.
“Wanna stay here forever. Thought I lost you. Can’t- I can still feel it. ” It’s there everytime he closes his eyes for too long. Like a little flash of losing the bond when he blinks. Doesn’t know what they need to do to lock it fully back into place, but he’s not going to be able to sleep, not really. The nightmares are going to be a lot no matter what. They’ll be worse if his brain is still showing him what it’s like to be the one left behind.
“Shower- I think. Can’t smell it but- feel gross.” It’s not his most coherent sentence ever, but until he communes with hot fucking water and soap, he’s going to be on edge. And he knows that about himself. Needs that shower after every mission to even start coming off the adrenaline. Didn’t do that this time. Johnny’s gentle about it, helping him out of bed. Simon stares at the sheets for a second. They’re- different from what he remembers. Knows it doesn’t really matter.
He strips out of his own clothes as fast as he can now that he’s thought about the shower, it's shot straight to the top of his priorities. Hissing a bit at the vivid bruising over his ribs, and his shoulder. Pokes at them and wincing at the sting. “When did that even-” Johnny gently takes his wrist in hand.
Simon tries to figure out how to explain that it’s not the injuries, he doesn’t care about those. It’s the not remembering. Johnny seems to get it. Nodding at him and starting the water. Simon follows him on quiet feet, stepping under the hot water and sighing. “Helping already.”
Just like the last time they showered together and Simon was too out of sorts to handle it, he leans hard on Johnny. Letting him take most of his weight, and all of the actual cleaning. “I love you. It’s- better. Knowing we can stay here.”
-
Keegan guides Roach up his body, one hand still in his hair, the other sliding down his body to rest on his hip. Moves with him into a slow and dirty grind. Kisses him like it’s the only thing he’s ever going to do, licking into every inch of his mouth. “Come on baby, I got you.” Roach’s eyes are a little hazy still so Keegan lets go of his grip on his hair to reach down and line his own cock up.
Roach sinks back immediately, and they both moan. The bond flooding his brain, sending him conflicting signals of full and the warm wet heat he can feel. Like being half in his Mate’s brain. Roach keeps slowly sinking down, until he’s sitting on Keegan’s hips. They both pause there, panting into each others mouths, and then Roach moves. Slowly raising up on his knees, keeping eye contact with Keegan. And drops back down, knocking a high pitched whine out of his own mouth. Keegan smiles.
“There’s my pretty baby, working yourself on my cock, such a good boy. Taking me so well, like you were fucking made for me. Do anything for you darlin’.”
-
Johnny follows Simon to the shower stripping down to nothing as quickly as he can. Pauses for a second when Simon notices and reacts to his bruising. The confusion about the bruise is like salt in all of their wounds. That entire hospital was the worst kind of torture for all of them, and Johnny can’t even begin to describe how much he hates that place and every single person involved in it’s existence.
He has to distract Simon from falling into that pit again, grabs his wrist in some sort of silent understanding, an acknowledgement to move on and save it all for later. Simon nods at him, picking up on it, and Johnny starts the water.
From there it’s familiar, Simon goes a little boneless with it, like during his heat, letting Johnny shoulder his weight and get him through it, letting his Alpha take the lead. It helps Johnny, too. He didn’t really know how to help and the not being able to properly comfort his Omega, to truly help, was grating on his instincts.
“I love you, too,” he offers the affection as he chases suds out of Simon’s hair. “Anything you want, I’ll give it to you. We can live in this room forever, I’d be okay with that.” He presses soft kisses to Simon’s skin as he goes, loving and gentle. No real intent behind them. To his cheek and nose and ear and throat as he washes his hair with slow hands.
He’s maybe dragging this out longer than he needs to. Doesn’t really want to take his hands off Simon now that’s he’s got them back on him. It’s a reminder that he’s alive and still there. He tugs on the bond just to feel it and Simon grumbles, he offers up apologies in the form of kisses and Simon seems to be placated.
He places Simon’s hands in his hair when he drops down to wash his lower body, making sure he has something to hold onto in case his exhaustion gets the better of him.
-
Roach kisses Keegan like it’s the only thing he was made to do, drowns them both in it, moaning into the kiss as Keegan grinds into him. Keegan releases his hair and Roach would whine if he could think to do it, gets distracted when Keegan’s cock brushes up against him. Almost without thinking he sinks backwards onto it, moan punching out of him without permission.
Roach feels impossibly full like this, every inch of Keegan filling him up and up, until he thinks there can’t be anymore and then there is. When he finally gets fully seated he feels short of breath, like Keegan’s so deep he’s stealing his air.
The bond goes a little crazy with it, like it needed this consummation to fully settle into Roach’s entire being. He draws on it to find the brainpower to lift himself up, watching Keegan as he goes. Drops back down before he’s all the way off, nearly slamming into it. He whines then, breath knocking out of him on the release. Keegan smiles and Roach sees his teeth again, focuses on them as Keegan calls him pretty, tells him he’s a good boy.
It emboldens him, and he rises up again. Losing himself in the up and down. Keegan’s hands go to his waist, moving up to his ribs and holding him there. Roach tilts back his head, showing off the bonding mark and Keegan growls, Alpha scent rising up. It makes him whine again, Omega matching that claiming scent, compounding.
Roach slurs his words. “Gonna show everyone your mark,” slams down a little harder, trying to feel Keegan as deeply as he can. “Low cut shirts, so everyone can see I’m yours.” He can feel in the bond how possessive that makes Keegan feel and he pushes harder. “Gonna smell like you, your scent on my skin,” he’s still slurring words, head tipped back as he fucks himself on Keegan, like he was made for it.
-
Simon yawns massively, hands in Johnny’s hair, hot water pouring over his shoulders. Assured that they’re staying. It feels- a little fucked up and like the preheat. The same exhaustion, like he’s moving through almost set concrete instead of steamy air. Maybe- the same things might help.
Simon tugs gently on Johnny’s hair, getting his attention. “Can I- nest might help. If you don’t mind.” The longer he thinks about it, the more it appeals. The world outside the door falling away from his mind. The bathroom, the bedroom, the nest he wants to build, and Johnny. Narrowing his focus to those things lets him think a little more clearly.
Johnny gets back to his feet, arm coming around Simon’s hips again. “Of course. Whatever you need.”
Simon side eyes him a little bit, trying to figure out if he’s just being appeased. There’s a little spark of almost excitement in the bond, that isn’t his. The bond is technically the same, but it’s like there’s some missing piece of it. Simon tugs at it, just to see if he can yank the fucking thing back to where it used to be. Johnny frowns, head snapping from turning the water off back to Simon. He gives him an apologetic look.
“Sorry it’s- feels different. Like there’s a piece missing.” And that makes a heartbreaking look cross Johnny’s face. They’re out of the shower, and toweling off. Simon wraps his arms around his Mate, pressing his nose into his neck. “It’s not you. I can feel you, it’s just not as clear as it was.”
Simon kisses the side of Johnny’s head, on the short hair. He’s not totally sure how to do the whole nest thing, and lets his instincts lead. Pushing pillows and sheets into a shape, grabbing spare bedding and layering it in. Tossing his towel in the laundry, and sliding into a pair of briefs. Johnny’s leaning against the bathroom doorframe, watching, not interfering. Simon grabs his laptop, setting it on the side table. And then climbs in, reaching for his Mate.
“I’m gonna- pass the fuck out. Watch a movie or something. Wake me up if you need anything.” Simon pulls, getting them centered in the nest, with a blanket over them both, and settles into his normal place. Cheek on Johnny’s chest, nose on his neck. Barely feeling the soft touches to his back before sleep rises up and takes him.
-
Keegan nearly loses it the second Roach tips his head back, showing off the new mark. His teeth, his Mate’s skin. The next time Roach rises up to slam down, Keegan digs his fingers into his hips, hard. And thrusts his hips up to meet him, pushing them both higher. His knot is beginning to swell, just barely catching.
“Touch yourself, show me. Show me how much you like it, being mine. Come for me, wanna see it, feel it on my skin. Mark me as yours.”
Roach listens beautifully, hand dropping to his cock before the first sentence even leaves his mouth. Whining almost constantly, like he’s too overwhelmed to stop. Keegan basks in it, that he’s fucking his Mate this well. Meeting every move of Roach’s hips with his own.
Keegan slides one hand up, over Roach’s chest, up to his neck, and runs his fingers over the bonding mark. Lightning strikes the bond. Roach coming with a wail, curling forward, covering Keegan’s stomach and his own hand. Keegan makes it two more thrusts, pushing up, before his knot pops so fast his hearing fades. The bond settles, like a river wearing rock down, deeper in his mind. Keegan blinks his eyes open, seeing curly hair on his chest, and hazy green eyes looking back at him.
“Good boy, baby. Perfect.”
-
Simon asks to make a nest and Johnny soars with it. There’s something so fundamentally comforting to his Alpha that his Omega wants to nest. That he wants the comfort and safety of a nest, in their den, a promise of settling down and not running away. If the nest is here, his Omega is here, and with the echoes of the broken bond still running through him, it’s more than words could ever do. He wants Simon to build a nest, one for comfort and not just for a heat. It tingles under his skin like the first strike of a match.
Before he can do much than offer up his own comforting words, Simon is yanking on the bond. It feels also like someone has just grabbed his hair and pulled, a little bit of sting ripping at his skull. He snaps over to Simon, brain screaming Mate needs something, what it is, figure it out , Simon waves him off apologetically, speaking words that break his heart. Missing? Something is missing? He searches the bond in his own head, really focuses, finds it.
A little piece of incomplete, rolling around in the link between them. So small he didn’t notice, but now that he’s felt it- it’s all he can feel. Before he can spiral, wonder if he did something wrong- if he fucked up the claim, if maybe Simon didn’t want it for real and so it didn’t snap into place like it should have, he’s being surrounded in warmth. Simon twines his arms around him, offers words that it isn’t his fault, soothing him with a soft kiss to his head, where his hair is shaved down close.
Johnny lets it wash the fear away. Focuses on the way Simon making a nest for them makes him feel instead. It’s love and safety, mixing into a hot flash of want when Simon strips the towel off. It mellows out as he climbs into the bed and asks to sleep. Johnny drops his own towel, pulling on a pair of sweats and tucks into the nest, blasting a little of his scent so it smells like them and not laundry detergent.
Holds Simon until he falls asleep, and then prods at that missing section of bond until his head hurts, until he’s memorized the shape of it. By the time he passes out again he still doesn’t know what’s missing, but it’s eating at him.
Johnny wakes with Simon in his arm, pulled as tightly as he can to Johnny chest, whimpering in his sleep as Johnny grinds his stupidly hard cock against the curve of his ass. He must have been doing it for a while, there’s the familiar feel sticky wetness of precum across his stomach and the distinct scent of slick in the air. It makes his teeth ache, makes him want to sink them into the other side of Simon’s neck and layer another claiming bite. The bond is thrumming, humming with something that Johnny can’t figure out. He presses his fingers in a little tighter to Simon’s skin, and his Mate snaps awake.
-
Roach is about to keep running his mouth, whimpering about Keegan’s mark on his neck, when his Alpha rises up to meet him on the next thrust. It damn near sends Roach out of his own head, the intensity of it. Get snapped right back in when he feels the knot. He wants it, needs it so fucking badly, is about to start begging when Keegan tells him to touch himself.
He’s been waiting for the permission, moves so fast Keegan’s not even done talking before he jerking himself off, fast and hard. He’s so turned on it almost hurts, whining as he goes. Then the rest of Keegan’s sentence processes and he whines even louder. Keegan wants Roach to come on him, paint his skin, leaves traces of his scent there even when they’re done. Claim him in return. It sends him neediness to new levels and he can’t stop the noises that pour out of him, not for anything. Especially when Keegan starts meeting every one of his bounces with a hard thrust of his own.
Roach is so close, teetering on the edge, needs something to send him careening off of the cliff of pleasure that turning his brain into goo. He gets it when Keegan reaches up and touches the new bond mark, fingers moving almost in disbelief. It’s all he can take to not scream, sound morphing into something less throat wrecking at the last second as he spills all over Keegan and his own hand, curling into Keegan’s body. He’s coherent just long enough to feel Keegan’s knot pop and then he’s losing himself in the Float.
It’s different in here, with the bond. It’s less endless drifting in the pleasure feeling of safety, and more stable. It’s an extra lock on the door, a spare magazine in his pocket, it’s the reassurance of someone he trusts at his back. It’s still the same safety and love, but more . Roach, if he were able to think beyond trust and protection in this warm and gentle place, would wonder if Keegan can feel the Float, if the bond is stong enough that he gets a second hand drifting sensation as Roach stays firmly out of his own body.
Finally, after who knows how long, Roach blinks and can see again. Gets a view of the bottom on Keegan’s chin and he just enough strength to tilt his head back and whine a little needily. Keegan moves fast, leaning down to kiss him, licking devotion into his mouth.
“S’good- feel full,” and he does, Keegan is still locked inside of him, knot secure, but it’s more than that. He can’t find the words, tries to think of them and decides to just…send the feeling down the bond. Full of love, of comfort and safety, full of Alpha and protected. Full of their bond and the promises that it offers. Hopes that Keegan can make sense of it all, kisses his jaw as he waits for the reaction.
-
Simon’s having a really fucking weird dream. There’s a thick glass wall in front of him, and Johnny on the other side. He can see his Mate’s mouth moving, even hear the faint tone of voice. Can’t understand the words. Simon has his hands flat on the glass, trying to get closer, to understand. To hear or touch.
Something shifts, the glass breaks, and he wakes up. Voice caught in a whine. Surrounded in the scent of bond and Mate, thick press of Johnny’s cock on his ass. Simon whines again, louder, aware of it now.
“Fuck- please? Johnny please need you.” Simon struggles, turning in the tight hold Johnny has on him until they’re facing each other. Throwing himself into the kiss. The bond still has that muted quality, like the glass from his dream. He can feel the want and the desire from the other side but it’s not enough. The hollow emptiness of it all hits him. There’s so many parallels to the heat here, without the fever or the burn.
“Empty, need you want you. It’s me asking- please?” Simon pulls back from the kiss just long enough to beg, and to make sure Johnny’s on the same page. Barely finishes asking and gets rolled to his back, hands sliding down his body and ripping his underwear down and away. Simon instinctively spreads his legs, making space. Tipping his head back, showing his neck. He needs the marks, the claiming. For Johnny to leave bruises and proof that they belong to each other. Simon whines again, begging, pushed past coherent words.
-
Keegan’s sent Roach down into the Float before, but it’s nothing compared to actually being able to feel it. It’s muted through the bond, but he can feel how safe and loved Roach feels. Keeps part of his mind focused on that, ready to meet Roach when he starts to come out of it and make sure the come down is as soft and gentle as it can be. Uses the rest of his brain to shift his hips every minute or so, keeping his knot locked and firm. Would rather fight god with his bare hands than let Roach feel empty.
He’s also- a little wary of it. The bond is still so new, both of them are throwing everything into it without any management. Keegan knows how much Roach hates the empty feeling and doesn’t know if he’s ready to get a front row seat to the actual sensation. As soon as the bond starts to sharpen he’s watching. Meets that little whine with a kiss. Claiming every inch of his Mate’s mouth and drowning them both in it.
The bond goes light. A flood of things coming down it so many it’s hard to identify. Keegan shivers, focusing on the love and safety, the comfort. Finally it clicks. That’s how he makes Roach feel. That’s- he does that.
Keegan takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself, wrapping his arms around Roach and holding him tight to his chest. “I love you too. I feel it. I know. I- thank you. Wanted this with you for so long, thank you. Waited my whole life for you, perfect Mate.” His voice is a little shaky, but getting to feel, to know for certain how he makes Roach feel is a lot. Keegan offers the same opportunity to his Mate.
Pulls up the comfort, the way he feels accepted, like it’s okay to be himself. The joy, of being able to take care of Roach, to not have to stifle every instinct he has. The love. Sends it back down the bond.
-
Simon kisses Johnny back like he’s on fire and Johnny is water. Like if he doesn’t drown in him he’ll die. Johnny understands, he feels the same, there’s still something missing and he thinks he can find it with Simon. He can find anything with Simon, he’s pretty sure. And it is Simon right now, begging so sweetly for him. It’s not Omega instinct still freaking out due to the bond drop. There’s no smell of fear or grief or anything. Just desire and longing in the air, the sweet smell of it almost heartbreakingly familiar.
Simon’s only just barely finished asking him for more , when he rolls them, pinning Simon onto his back. In one motions he pulls Simon’s last layer down and off, throwing who knows where and slides into between the space that he’s left between his parted legs. Johnny’s teeth ache when Simon tips his head back, submitting, asking for more claiming. His eyes go to the side of Simon’s neck where he didn’t bite last night, empty and open.
It’s a whine of pure need that rips him out of his staring, kicking him into gear. He strips the last of his clothes off, climbing back on top of Simon and grabbing him by the hips. Pulling, almost roughly, so that his Mate’s thighs come up to bracket around his body, leveraging him up. He can smell the slick, can see it dripping, but slides two fingers in anyways- has to be sure, if he hurts Simon he might actually die.
It’s an easy glide, Simon’s so worked up, hot and wet around his fingers. He adds a third just to be sure, trying to to ignore the almost pained sounds ripping out of his Omega. “Shhh, baby, I know. Don’t wanna hurt you. It’s okay, gonna fill you now.” At his promise Simon whimpers, eyes begging even as his mouth seems unable to speak.
Not wasting anymore time, Johnny wipes his slick covered fingers onto the bedsheets, leaning over and sliding into Simon in one motion. He sees white for a moment, teeth aching and saliva pooling as he gets surrounded by tight and wet and hot and Mate . Johnny goes a little dizzy with it. Simon shifts, fucking back onto him, and it washes away the last bit of his restraint. He folds Simon nearly in half, slamming the rest of the way in, down to the hilt. “Fuck-” he gasps it out. “Feel so good around me, Mate . Hold onto me.” Simon’s hands fly to his shoulders and he starts up a fast pace, waits until Simon is babbling again and sinks his teeth down into the other side of Simon’s neck. Another claiming mark- and the bond explodes.
-
Keegan’s voice is shaking as he tries to send reactions to what Roach is sending to him, clumsily since he’s not really sure how to use the bond yet. It’s sweet and soft and then Keegan does the same thing. Roach gets a head full of thanks and relief and acceptance. It’s all the things that he gives Keegan. It makes him want to cry a little.
Their whole relationship felt one-sided, Roach constantly taking and asking for more. Needy and lost as he navigated a relationship not built on a foundation of pain and suffering. He never really felt like he was giving Keegan anything. But this? It feels like freedom, acceptance, gratitude and love. The joy of finally finding where Keegan fits. Right next to Roach like he’s always belonged.
Roach shudders with it, tilting his head up to meet Keegan in a kiss, overwhelming in intensity. “I love you,” he pulls back with a gasp. “And now you can feel it. Neither one of us will ever be alone again.” Keegan shifts his hips and Roach whines, full but oversensitive, entire body rolling with the sensation. “Can’t believe your knot is still up.” Roach teases, eyebrows shooting up when he feels Keegan’s embarrassment . “What-,” he laughs a bit. “Oh man you’re never gonna be able to hide anything again- are you?” Roach smiles, secretly glad. Sometimes he never knows what Keegan is thinking or feeling, and having this feels like the start of being able to figure it out on his own.
-
Simon’s on the verge of tears when instead of fucking him, Johnny’s fingers slide in. He’s so far past that, empty aching needy. Hears the words, the soothing tone, whines again. Please. The first thrust knocks him back into his body, he can feel every inch, rolls his hips down to meet Johnny’s. It feels like coming home.
That small movement unleashes something in his Mate. Johnny pushing forward, eyes locked onto his neck. Simon stares up at his teeth, wants them, needs them. Holds on when he’s told to, then because he has to. Johnny fucks him like it’s the first time all over again. Hard, fast, desperate. Every inch of space between their bodies is a personal offense, Simon’s nails digging little red marks into Johnny’s skin.
“ Fuck- thank you- love you. So full, missed you Mate- please, bite. Claim me again, wanna be covered in your marks Johnny please.”
Immediately there’s teeth in his neck and the bond flares out, pushing into every corner of his mind and flooding it. Love, Mate, Johnny, love. Simon does sob then, voice breaking as he comes. The missing piece of the bond settles in, like a physical tug in his chest. Telling him he’s over there. A low possessive growl rips out of his Mate and Simon meets it with a flare of his scent. Twin echoes of mine in the bond.
-
Keegan should have known the bond would give him away. Embarrassed at being called out, but not angry. It’s a fucking gift. They won’t ever be alone, and neither them will ever have to guess at what the other is feeling. It’ll be good for both of them. Roach overthinks, and Keegan will throw himself under the bus every single time.
“Don’t be mean to your Mate. I think it’s against the rules.” Keegan teases, they’re both so happy, smiling. He lets that be the last time he resets the knot, before it starts going painful for either one of them. Guiding Roach’s head back down to his chest and running his fingers through soft curls.
“I love you. I’m so glad I found you, and that you took a second look.” Keegan yawns massively, the long couple of days finally hitting him. Roach shushes him, staying on his chest even as his knot slowly goes down. Keegan falls asleep with one hand still buried in Roach’s hair and the bonding scent swelling in the air around them.
He has an impossible dream. Where everything is good and perfect. Roach and Riley, laughing with each other, scents swelling with joy. Soap at his side watching them, brother and Pack. Gaz, offering him the same care extended to the others, his favorite pie cooling on a table. Price calling him son. Laswell watching them all.
It’s a beautiful dream, bittersweet. Something that could have been. In his dream he turns to Soap. “I wish this was real.”
Soap smiles at him, cheersing him with a beer bottle. “Shouldn’t have used my Mate like a weapon then huh? He’ll forgive Roach, but you? Never. Neither will I.”
Keegan wakes up silent and sweating. Staring at the ceiling. Fuck.
-
Every missing piece of Johnny's soul springs back together when his teeth enter Simon’s neck for the third time in only a few hours. There’s a compass now right in his heart pointing directly at Simon. The pull on it is stronger, stronger than any other instinct he has in his body.
There’s nails in his back and thighs tightening hard around his waist, the smell of his Omega in his nose and the feel of him in every bit of his body. Johnny growls when Simon comes, untouched, just from the feel of the final claiming bite. His scent goes high and sharp, twining with Simon’s in a perfect way.
“There he is, my perfect Omega. Getting off just because of me? My bite?” He thrusts a little harder, a little deeper, seating himself as far as he can. It’s a lot, the bond and his Mate and his knot is already expanding and he grinds it in with every thrust. “Gonna fill you up, so full. You’ll never be empty, never be without me.” There’s so much Alpha in his tone it makes his skull rattle.
Simon digs in harder, pulling him impossibly closer, leaning up and biting into Johnny’s neck, growling out another mine and Johnny goes white hot, spilling deep inside his Omega, knot locking. “ Fuck , baby- Simon , feel so fucking perfect.”
-
“M’not being mean,” Roach argues. “I’m being cute. There’s a difference.” Roach can’t help but smile, leaning down to rest against Keegan’s chest. “I love you, too. I’m glad you looked at me and saw more than I ever could. For loving me only the way you can.” He falls asleep with Keegan’s hands scratching soft patterns into his scalp.
Roach dreams of a grassy field, lying in it in the middle of the spring. Soft plains of wheat stalks across his cheek, gentle and relaxing. Safe. He wakes up when Keegan’s entire body goes tense. Roach can smell the distress, the unease, feel the sticky sweat under his cheek, the increased heart rate and heavy breathing.
Still reeling with sleep he sits up, looks into Keegan’s eyes and sees pain, reaching for the bond and sense awful, gut wrenching guilt that makes him feel like ripping out his own heart. “Keegan, what- is happening?” He leans in and keeps his touch soft but firm, easy pressure on Keegan’s chest, trying to steady him. “Talk to me- don’t keep it locked up. Please?”
-
Simon settles a little bit more back into his skin at Johnny’s words. The Alpha thick in his tone, overwriting the other voices that have scrambled Simon’s brain. Can feel how close Johnny is and needs to feel him come, to feel the knot. Simon pulls him closer, leaning up and sinking his teeth into the unmarked side of Johnny’s neck. That does it, knot locking them together as Johnny comes with a low moan, praising words falling into the space between them. It’s almost better than his own orgasm.
“So fucking good, perfect Mate. Mine. Forever.” They stay like that for long minutes. Trading soft kisses and little bites. Both of their necks are going to be covered in marks and Simon feels like he can take a deep breath at the thought. They roll to the side in a moment of silent agreement, one of Simon’s legs braced up on Johnny’s hip. Taking the hand with the cut and bruised wrist very carefully.
Simon presses soft kisses to the marks and the bond goes soft and sweet like cotton candy. “Okay?” Simon vaguely remembers scaring off some medics when he woke up, and now that the bond is back in crystal clarity, he’s a little worried Johnny needs something. That he’s hurt.
-
Keegan blinks at Roach, and clears his throat. “I- shit.” Adjusts them so they’re laying on their sides, face to face. “I fucked up. And I think I ruined any chance of ever being part of the Pack.” Roach goes to argue and Keegan shushes him. “Let me say it. When their bond was broken, I used that. Weaponized Riley’s grief and made him into a tool. And I know his past, that I’m not the first one to do it. Once he’s back in his head he’ll hate me. And Soap- he feels. Felt. He felt like my brother, but now- I took his grieving Mate on a fucking murder spree to rescue you.”
Keegan looks away from Roach, to the wall behind him. “They won’t kick me off the team. Or hurt me, because of you. But I think- out of all of the awful shit that happened. Losing the possibility of Pack. It’s one of the worst.” It’s not the worst, that will always be what was done to Roach and Soap. Then the broken bond. Third though? That’s Keegan losing his dream of Pack, and family. He’d do it again. Give up anything he’s ever wanted to keep Roach safe. But- he’s allowed to grieve it.
-
Simon, out of whatever has been going on in his head since the moment the bond broke, mellows down. He goes soft and pliant, reaching down to press kisses to where the bindings had dug into his wrists. Johnny melts with it, bond thrumming with love and devotion.
“I’m okay,” he offers, pulling Simon in just a little closer. “Medics gave me a once over. I’m okay, can stay here forever. With you.” Nuzzles into Simon’s hair, pressing little kisses to his skin, his hair, nosing at him. It never feels like he’ll get enough. Maybe he never will- and that’s okay, he’ll spend every moment of the rest of his life touching and feeling Simon, remembering that he’s real and his .
They come down together, soft and easy. Johnny gets them into the shower again, mostly just to clean and not be covered in stickiness. Gets Simon wrapped up in a blanket that once more smells of them and pulls him to his chest. Falls asleep with his face pressed right up against Simon’s neck.
He wakes wrapped up in him and can’t help the rumble in his chest, that happy satisfied Alpha noise. It’s so loud it startles Simon who goes a little bug eyed in confusion. Johnny apologizes, easing down to press a kiss to his temple. “Sorry, I love you. How’d you sleep?”
-
Roach feels his heart break. Keegan is spilling his soul into the space between them, his fear and worries. The possibility of Pack slipping away, the absolutely bone deep assurance that Soap will never forgive him. He’s shaking his head before Keegan is even done, arguing. “No,” he spits it out. “Keegan no- you saved them. Bond breaks will kill an Omega, and if you hadn’t given him focus or a target it would have. You saw him as well as I did in that training room. How pale he went? It was like he already was. And Soap? Soap will only care that he has Ghost back, will probably thank you for everything you did.”
He reaches up to press his hands to Keegan’s chest. “You might not officially be Pack but you are family, more than just as a teammate. We both did things in that room that we wish we would have had to. I crossed so many lines, ones you don’t cross with another Pack Omega. If you’re on the chopping block I am right there next to you.” It’s true, Ghost already wanted to rip out his throat for being in the room with Soap, and then he scented him, fought with his Omega and put out a competing claim scent. “Before you go throwing yourself on your own sword why don’t we try talking to them ?”
-
Simon wakes up first, and indulges in one of his favorite pastimes. Watching Johnny sleep. The slack peaceful expression, the unfiltered scent. When Johnny’s awake he’s always moving, even if it’s just his face. So it’s rare to get to see this. He’s leaning in, taking deep breaths of happy Mate, and content Alpha when a low rumble rolls over him. It’s a noise he hasn’t really heard from Johnny before and it surprises him. It’s the nearest thing to a purr an Alpha can do and Simon wasn’t expecting it.
“Don’t be sorry- happy you’re happy.” Simon leans in to kiss him. “I love you too. Slept fine, even with the snoring.” Johnny rolls his eyes at him, and Simon grins. This is them. The teasing, the push and pull. He can actually think. So he does. Working through some things. The first is his sore throat, and the reasons why.
“I think- maybe later? I need to apologize to some people.” He’s testing himself a little. Can picture green eyes, curly hair. Gray eyes, and a mask. Shivers. “Or tomorrow. I- is it tomorrow?”
He has no idea how long they’ve been here- Johnny’s stomach growls so loudly at that Simon actually pulls back to stare. “Fuck all of that. Get Gaz to bring us food before you start eating the drywall.”
-
Keegan leans down, pressing a kiss into Roach’s hair and breathing him in. Him and the bond. “I mostly know that- but. You’re right. A lot of lines were crossed. I know we need to talk to them but- god only knows when they’ll be able to leave their room. I’m worried. Price saw most of it, maybe if I talk to him?”
It’s the best idea he has. The Captain, one of the Pack leaders. If there’s any validity to Keegan’s worries, or Roach’s, Price will give it to them straight. But talking to anyone means leaving their den. With a very new bond. Keegan hesitates at that. He’s- okay with the idea. Doesn’t know if that’s just because he’s still here, or if the violent way the imprint had pushed him around tempered this instinct.
“Do you- how do you feel about going out there?” Keegan offers the choice to Roach.
-
Johnny can tell that Simon isn’t quite ready, can feel the hint of it in the bond. Is about to bring up the option to stay here when his stomach protests. Can’t help but laugh at Simon’s concern for the walls. Grumbles out fake hurt at the idea that he’d start eating plaster just because he was feeling peckish as he finds his phone. He sends out a request for food and drink before dragging Simon off the bed.
Unused to being drug around Simon flails a bit before his hands come to rest on Johnny’s shoulders and legs snap around his hips. Johnny tilts his head up to press a kiss to the bottom of his jaw and then steers them into the bathroom. “Shower first.” Simon rolls his eyes but lets Johnny ease him onto the floor. Johnny kicks on the water and pulls Simon to his chest while they wait, allow Simon’s body to press him into the wall.
“Course we can stay here,” he finally manages to answer the question. “I’ll keep you here forever,” nose on Simon’s neck, layering kisses on exposed skin. “Keep you here, warm and full of me,” nips with his teeth at the newest claiming mark. “Until you smell so much like me we even confused the Pack.”
-
Roach agrees. They need to talk to Price, let the Captain give it to them straight and lay out where they go from here. So, they should go. Except- he really doesn’t want to. He wants to wrap them both in their new scent and stay in the nest. Wants to be full of his Alpha again, wants teeth back at his neck. He shudders, pushing all of that aside. Keegan is upset, worried and driving himself mad with it. Roach won’t ruin the chance for him to find some sort of peace because he’s thinking with his dick.
“If you think you’re good, then we can go. But please try not to rip off anyone’s head. That’s a lot of paperwork.” Keegan rolls his eyes, hint of a smile on his face. Roach pushes him more, trying to draw him out of his head. “C’mon, let’s get showered and ready.” Drags Keegan off the bed and steers him into the bath.
They shower slow and soft, Keegan’s hands in his hair, lips on his shoulder. It’s sweet and Roach pushes that feeling of being taken care of into the bond, filling it with good as best he can.
-
Simon presses further against Johnny, tilting his head back to give him more access to skin. He loves that Johnny can physically move him around, even though it startles him every single time. Shivers at the promise of being kept full.
As soon as they’re out of the shower Simon’s going to drag him back to the nest, get them both fed, and make good on that offer. Now that he’s aware of how hungry Johnny is, it’s alerted him to the fact that he also has a stomach. And that it’s empty.
-
Keegan lingers, using the bond to find out what feels best. Guiding his hands with the soft warm feeling in his mind. He knows Roach doesn’t really want to leave the room, but appreciates the willingness to do it. Tries to repay him with more softness and love.
“I love you, I’m not gonna rip anyone’s head off. Been thinking about it- to test. It’s like every bit of the imprint prepared me for it. I’m just- happy to have the bond, almost more relaxed with it than should be possible.”
Keegan reaches out, grabbing a towel for Roach first as the water shuts off. Wrapping him firmly in it, trapping his arms and peppering kisses over his face until Roach finally cackles, and it feels like champagne bubbles in the bond.
Chapter 4: Again
Summary:
Title from Black Stone Cherry
Chapter Text
They get dressed slowly, and Keegan’s got one of Roach’s hands in his when they step into the hallway. Walking past Riley and Soap’s door, he can smell the possessive claim from both of them, and the bond. Keegan sighs, a little bit of weight coming off his shoulders.
Meeting Price and Gaz in the kitchen. Price’s eyebrow goes up, but he smiles. “Congrats. Are you going to break any more property?”
Keegan makes an offended noise. “ No. Well. Hopefully not. S’why I wanted to talk to you.”
-
Johnny and Simon shower slowly, hands dragging over skin and lingering. Simon ends up pressed up against the wall, nearly panting with it, Johnny’s hands tight on his hips, grinding them together. The wet slide of skin on skin, the heat from the shower, the fully resealed bond. “Please- fuck please. Wanna feel you. In the nest- or here, fuck bent over the sink I don’t care just please touch me.”
-
Johnny meant to keep it soft and easy but Simon is warm and naked and reacting to his promise to keep him full. Simon’s needy under his hands and that’s all it takes for Johnny to get them against the wall, grinding into each other. Johnny heard the words and groans, sinking his teeth into Simon’s shoulder. Pulls back to lick over the mark. “Bed, now-“ can’t keep the Alpha out of his voice, not with how much he wants this.
It’s a mad dash from both of them to get out of the water and at least mostly dry. Johnny’s been hard for far too long and the sweet smell of slick is rising in the air. He moves, pushing Simon backwards until they’re by the end. Johnny flips them last second and pulls Simon on top of him. Laying backwards while Simon straddles his hips. “C’mon baby, wanna see you. Wanna watch you fall apart.” Grinds his hips up into Simon’s ass, feels the slick there. “Bet you’re still loose and ready from yesterday. Don’t even need prep, just me and my knot. Yeah?”
-
The hallway smells like Soap and Ghost’s bond, Roach notices. That and a fucking steamroller of possessive intent and claiming. He shudders under the intensity but can’t help but be happy for them. Ghost and Soap being whole again is important to the rebuilding of their Pack. Without it, they would have fallen apart.
Price gives them a sideways look when he smells their bond, but overall his joy for them wins out. Gaz offers him a genuine smile, happy that they’re happy. Roach is so fucking grateful for the Beta, kinda wants to cry about it sometimes.
He can’t help but laugh at Price’s attempt at humor, settling in at the table and offering thanks when Keegan returns with food for them both. Cracks open an orange juice while he waits for Keegan to break down what he needs from Price, apologies he’s wants to offer, and a plan for the future.
-
Simon moans, can’t fucking help it. Loves Johnny’s voice when the Alpha reaches up and steers him. Like he has to have Simon, going from want to pure need. “M’always ready for you, my Mate. Watch-” Simon sits up straight, reaching behind himself to wrap his hand around Johnny’s cock and line them up. Slowly sinking back, until he’s taken every hot inch of Johnny’s cock, and his ass is resting on Johnny’s thigh.
Johnny’s hands land on his hips and Simon smiles at him. Slowly grinds his hips, not even lifting an inch. Reaching down and pulling one of Johnny’s hands free from his hip, up, up, up, until he can pull his two middle fingers into his mouth. The near feral Alpha noise that knocks out of Johnny makes Simon smile. Running his tongue over those fingers, and then slowly rises up, enjoying the drag, the slick slide. Slams back down.
Every rise up, sucking Johnny’s fingers. Every slam down, moaning around them. Keeping as much eye contact as he can, until it finally overwhelms him and his eyes roll back. Johnny’s other hand flexes on his hip, and the next slam down is met with a sharp thrust up. Simon’s mouth drops open with the force of it, but Johnny’s fingers stay, pressing down on his tongue. They both moan.
-
Keegan sighs, rolling his head around, popping his neck loudly. Gaz sets a coffee down in front of him. “God- thank you Gaz. Needed that.” Takes a huge sip of his coffee, and feels like his heart is going to break when it’s exactly how he normally makes it.
Price is watching him carefully. “I’m not gonna freak out. The imprint- did most of that for me I think. Now that the bonds in place I don’t feel like I need to go all caveman about it.”
Picking at his food, offering a pancake to Roach. He has no idea what time it is, but has to either be breakfast, or Gaz humoring Roach. Turns to face Price a little more dead on. “I need to apologize. I- when the bond broke. I stopped Riley from going into bond shock, turned him into a weapon, and took him on a rampage. And then- what I asked you, shouldn’t have put that on you. Nearly fucking killed Soap, just for existing in that room. And then- Riley again. I know Laswell Commanded me, I have no idea how she got him out of that building.”
A pause, only a second, before he pushes on. “And again, in the training room. I- because of me half of your Pack is trying to fight the other half, and I’m at the center of most of it. Riley’s probably going to take my head off, and Soap is more than fucking justified if he does. I have no idea how long they’ll be secluded, but the bond is back. Might help. Might make it worse- there’s really no fucking playbook here. Bonds don’t just get fucking broken, and then remade like this.” Keegan’s rambling, nervous and a little stressed out. He’s crossed a million fucking boundaries.
“You saw, nearly all of it. So if you think- I know it’s complicated. But I can be a medic, and not on your team-” Roach and Price cut him off.
-
Johnny was right, Simon doesn’t need any prep, not if the easy way he slides down his cock is any indication. Like this Simon’s always a little tighter, but with no prep it’s even more. He squeezes around Johnny’s cock, lowering down until they’re fully seated together. It drags a low moan out of him, rattling in his chest.
Instead of getting right into it, fucking himself properly, Simon draws it out. He grinds his hips back and forth in a teasing movement, and Johnny clenches his jaw a little, trying to keep from just taking . Then Simon reaches down to grab his wrist, pulling up so he can slide Johnny’s fingers into his mouth, teasing him in two different ways at once. The sound that tears out of him is all Alpha, deep and intense, he literally can’t stop it.
When Simon finally starts moving it’s fucking heaven, each slow drag making him climb higher and higher into his Alpha headspace. Watching his Omega slide up and down, perfectly seated and taking his cock like he was made for it, sets off his instincts like nothing else. Johnny deals with the teasing, holding onto his control until Simon’s worked himself up so much his eyes roll back into his head. As soon as he sees that Johnny meets the next thrust with his own, fingers pressing in further to feel the hitch of breath directly on his hand.
“Such a good boy, Simon. Look at you, taking me like you were made for it. Never seen anything prettier in my life than you taking my cock like this,” he thrusts up again, trying to knock Simon into his own Omega headspace, meeting Johnny’s Alpha. “Never get deeper than when you’re on top of me, perfect position to watch you fall apart.”
He reaches down with the hand that was on Simon’s hip to wrap around his cock. “So pretty here, too, perfect Mate with a perfect cock, already leaking for me.” Johnny drags his thumb over the head, sweeping up the little drops of precum that have gathered there. “So wet for me, gonna give me a good show? Gonna come on me? Mark me? I wanna see it, baby.”
-
Roach says, “what the fuck Keegan” just as Price says “settle down, son” and Keegan looks fucking gutted.
Roach wants to fucking scream, but he lets Price take the lead on this.
“Keegan, you saved lives. Laswell and I have gone over that mission so many times in the last day and a half and there is not a single thing any one of us could have done differently. If you didn’t give Ghost a focus, the bond break would have killed him. If you hadn’t fought him out of that room he would have killed Soap- and then probably Roach.” That gets a flinch from everyone.
“And in the training room- none of us knew what to do, and you were the only one who did something . The entire team, my Pack , was about the collapse and you- you fixed us the way only a medic could. I’m sorry that it hurt you to do, that it’s breaking you apart from the inside out. But I’m not sending you away. I’m thanking you .”
Roach hears Keegan’s sharp inhale of breath, can feel the shock in the bond. “And we need you again, Ghost is going to react very poorly to Roach and none of us know how to deal with that. It’s a lot, that I’m asking of you, but please, Keegan. We need you here on this team. Go if you want- it’s your career and your decision, but don’t leave because you think it’s what’s best for us- because it isn’t.”
-
Simon whines, lost in it all. Johnny’s cock, so deep inside of him it feels like his body is permanently changing to do it. The fingers in his mouth, scent so strong it’s all he can smell. The hand on his cock, teasing, touching. Everything combining into feeling owned. Barely registering the actual words being spoken but understands them.
Alpha wants you to mark him. Simon slams his hips down again, meeting another hard thrust and breaks. The noise he makes, something between a whine and a scream. Comes so hard his hearing goes soft, muted. Keeps his eyes open with every bit of strength he has. So he can see his come streak over Johnny’s stomach and chest. Watch the hand that was on his cock slowly slide down, through it all, pressing it into skin and dragging up. Barely focusing on the knot he can feel building, every inch of his being locked onto those fingers. Alpha takes his fingers, and puts them in his mouth, tasting Simon.
Simon leans down, almost collapsing, and sinks his teeth into the gland on his Mate's neck, locking down. Claiming, marking, completing the loop they’ve been in of trading claims back and forth. Panting against skin, slipping further into his own instincts in a good way finally. The knot pops, a growl echoing in his ear and Simon slips into somewhere warm and safe and comfortable in his own mind. Mate.
-
Keegan didn’t expect to be thanked. Doesn’t know what the fuck to do with it, just stares at Price making sure his words match his face.
“I don’t- fuck I don’t know. I want to stay. I like this team, wanted to be a part of it for a long time and the Pack-” Keegan’s voice cracks like he’s a teenager again and he clears his throat. “I wanted that. But- if it was me. If Soap had Commanded Roach- I’d probably try to kick his ass just on principle. He might be a better person than me.”
Leaning back and dragging a hand over his face, dropping the other on Roach’s knee, keeping some point of contact and trying to draw strength from it. “I don’t know what to do. Riley’s- if he comes out of that room even remotely like himself then it’s a win. I’ve never seen this before. Pack Alphas fighting? Sure. Normal. Healthy Pack will have that every so often. The Omegas? Never. Our bond will help but- Riley’s instincts marked Roach as competition for what he thought was his dead Mate. And then- it was the right thing to do. The only thing that would have worked, but we reinforced that. I made myself a threat to Soap’s life, and Roach a threat to their bond, and it worked.”
Keegan feels that bit of guilt in the bond and turns his head just slightly. “You did the right thing. If I did, you did. They’re alive, and they have the bond back.”
Focuses back on Price. “It’ll be like the drop a little. But the Pack will need to kind of center around Riley and Soap, and try to make it okay for Roach to get closer. I- you can’t do that with me. I’ll be there, but I’m going to scent block myself. Alpha, not Pack, and a threat. Once Riley stops trying to fight Roach, then we deal with me. It’s the only idea I have.” He might be able to work through this with Riley. The history they have, he can pull on that. He doesn’t have that with Soap.
“And whoever got Riley out of that hospital, have them on call. They used a lot of Commands to get him out, had to have. And he was feral. That’s- not a good combination, and probably part of the problem. His instincts are a mess and someone else was running his brain for him. If it’s Laswell or whoever, might have to get them to release them. And hope they know how.”
Releasing a command is never just as easy as saying stop. It’s- all about intent. Why the Command was used in the first place, if the Alpha can find the right emotion to undo it. Keegan can- and will if his from the training room are a problem. But he can’t teach someone how to do it. Not fast enough to be able to keep Riley from ripping the pack apart at the seams.
-
Simon, beautiful, perfect, Omega, comes like a lightning strike. Hard and fast and powerful, splattering across Johnny’s chest. It’s a mess and it’s perfect. Almost like he can’t help himself, because fuck maybe he can’t, he reaches down to drag through the come on his chest. He gathers it in his fingers, aware of Simon’s watchful eye as he goes, and sucks his own fingers into his mouth. Tastes his Mate on his tongue, making a show of it. It breaks Simon beautifully, his Omega collapsing into his chest and biting the last bit of him not branded by teeth. It’s the final straw and Johnny can feel his knot pop, locking them together.
Johnny feels it in the bond when Simon goes deep in his own head, the last traces over everything bad washed away as he floats further into his instincts. Johnny holds him through it, whispering soft words, reiterations of claiming remarks, promises of forever. Eventually, when his knot is gone and Simon is still floating, he rolls them over, pulling Simon to his chest and keeping him safe. Leans on the bond to monitor his progress and offers up soft kisses when he feels him swimming back into consciousness.
“Hey there, beautiful.” Another smattering of kisses across cheeks and nose. “You back with me?”
-
Roach understands exactly where Keegan is coming from. Omegas are the base of the Pack, they don’t fight for hierarchy, they just are . And he committed a cardinal sin for scenting and trying to claim another Pack Omega’s Alpha. Something so wrong he felt it in his bones the second the idea hit him. Keegan is right though- it worked, and now they can fix it, somehow.
Guilt is there but Keegan shuts it down with logic that he can’t argue with. “Whatever we have to do.”
So they do it, they rearrange the Pack room, Gaz clears every last bit of scent from the room. Keegan takes the scent blockers and drowns in the spray, and Roach dresses in his own clean clothes so the only part of him that smells like Keegan is the bond. The bond, which should help Ghost see him as not a threat. Then they wait, in the hallway so their scents don’t enter the room again, for Soap and Ghost to make their appearance.
-
Simon feels more of his jagged pieces ease back together under the float. The horrible feeling of inadequacy fading away. He has no idea how long it goes on for. Vaguely aware of being moved, being held, and it doesn’t bother him. It’s Johnny. Safe. Mate.
Coming back into his body in stages, until his eyes focus and he can see the broad plane of Johnny’s chest, and feel the soft kisses over his face. Simon grumbles a little. “M’here. You?”
The bond is so light and warm in his mind he knows Johnny’s okay before he verbally confirms it. Simon reaches behind himself, finding the scentless wet wipes they’d stored in the nightstand and together they clean off the worst of the mess. The repeated showers have done their job and he finally doesn’t feel like there’s phantom dirt on his skin. And he really doesn’t want to get up and lose the contact. Simon’s tracing the outline of each of Johnny’s ribs when their phones chime. Simon waits, for the white hot surge of rage, of jealousy. Doesn’t find anything. It’s just Gaz, food outside their door. Johnny’s watching him carefully.
“I’m gonna grab that- see if it’s okay.” Johnny nods, slow, and Simon can feel how much he doesn’t want to let him get up, but he does. Simon takes it slow, shoving his legs into a pair of shorts laying on the floor and walking to the door.
When he opens it to reach down and grab the little box with tupperware in it, a new scent hits his nose. It’s- the people he still can’t totally think about, together. A new bonding scent. Simon exhales, holding his breath as he grabs the box and closes the door. Flaring his scent and his bond, in case any of that made it into their den. Hands Johnny one of the meals and strips out of the shorts, climbing back into the nest naked and digging into his own food. Mind rolling over the new information and scent. When they’re both full Simon turns and makes eye contact.
“I don’t think- I’m not getting much better than this about them. Without facing it head on. But- how are you?” Simon has a vague memory of a lot of Commands, knows that some of them were from a stranger, some from Johnny, and some from other.
-
Johnny watches, eyes sharp and body ready to go, as Simon opens the door to grab at the offerings left for them. He’s fine for a second and then he freezes. Johnny can’t smell whatever is making the bond feel like itchy sandpaper in his brain, but then the door is closing and Simon’s blasting his scent again. Gets naked and then climbs back into bed.
He takes the offered food and digs in, suddenly remembering how fucking ravenous he is the moment it touches his tongue. Is damn near through the whole thing when Simon speaks.
“I understand that. We can- whenever you think you’re ready, we can go out there?” Simon nods, unsure but determined. “If we walk out there and you want to turn right back around- we can.” Johnny knows they need to push this, that without Ghost and Roach finding their balance the whole Pack will explode. Omegas are their foundation and if they stay at odds- eventually the Pack bond will snap.
Johnny can’t let that happen. He knows him and Keegan have some shit to work out, but that’s easy. An Alpha challenge, a little fighting, and they’ll be okay. Johnny wasn’t as far lost to his instincts and the bond break as Simon was, he’s still rational enough to know that Keegan did what he had to. Still wants to grab that cocky throat and force a submission like he did the first day he met him, but if Keegan submits like he did then, he’ll be okay. He’s mostly worried about Simon and Roach.
They clean up, the food and themselves, re-dressing properly for the first time in what feels like days, and then they start the short walk to the Pack room. Johnny goes first, hiding Simon behind him. He scents Keegan and Roach’s bond right away, lets that settle him even further, good for them. He’s still nervous.
They round the corner and come face to face with the whole Pack hovering in the hallway. He looks right at Price. “Tell us what to do, but if Simon can’t handle this- we’re going back.”
-
Keegan puts himself at the very back of the group, shoves his hands down by his side, palms out, crosses one leg over the other and leans against the wall. Making himself as non-threatening as possible. Putting himself off balance, a very visible show of ‘not fighting back’.
Still, when Soap comes around the corner, with Riley nearly invisible behind him, Keegan wants to run. Price’s voice is a low rumble, guiding the other two into the Pack room, letting them pick a place to sit. Keegan follows them in, side steps so he’s not blocking the door, and slides down to sit against the wall.
Soap ends up on the couch, sitting almost sideways. Riley behind him, sitting on the arm of the couch, one arm draped possessively over his shoulder, palm flat on his chest, watching everyone over his Alpha’s head. The second those eyes land on him, Keegan tips his head back, showing his throat. Riley looks away, and back to where Roach is standing, just behind Price and Gaz.
“ Sit.” Riley’s voice is low, flat, not threatening but very not fucking happy. There’s a bit of a shuffle, they’d set it up so the two couches in the room face each other. Price, brave bastard, takes the end of the couch opposite of the Soap and Riley combination.
Gaz settles into one side of the other couch, and Roach sits down slowly. Furthest away. Riley visibly disregards Price as a threat, Gaz gets a nod, and then it’s a stare down. Riley’s eyes are narrowed, locked onto Roach. They move once, when Laswell appears in the door, and then go back. Keegan can feel how uncomfortable Roach is in the bond, the nervous energy making his skin crawl. Riley moves.
-
Simon had followed Johnny, protecting his back on reflex. He’s been following Johnny since they met, a second shadow. Once they’re sitting, and he’s covered his Alpha’s back, he looks around. The other Omega is watching them, nervous scent in the air. The other bonding scent itches his nose. Simon glares.
He has no idea what possesses him, but he goes from watching, to sliding his hand up his Mate’s chest, tipping his head to the side, and setting a new claiming bite to skin. Right there, in the middle of the Pack. He can feel the jolt of surprise in the bond, so he doesn’t linger. Pulling back quickly.
The other Omega doesn’t do anything, just nods, then tilts his head. Showing his own claiming mark, and looking at the Alpha in the corner. Showing Simon the other half of that new bonding scent. Simon turns to look, and finally sees Keegan. The lack of the familiar knife and grass scent is strange. It- looks like Keegan. But he can’t fucking smell him- outside of the bond.
Simon sifts through the scents in the air. Has to test it anyways. “How did you sprain your ankle in Texas?”
Maybe-Keegan goes bright red. Answers. “I tripped, on Hesh’s boots. Fell down a flight of stairs. You called me yankee doodle dumbass for three weeks.”
Simon nods. Shifts his attention back to the other Omega, still can’t reach the name. Can’t make the connection. Looks at Laswell instead. Feels a hot slap of fury in his bones.
“Who the fuck put so many Commands in my brain?”
-
Roach wants to run so fucking badly. Ghost’s eyes on him make him feel like he’s about to burst into flames right there on the floor. It’s the worst kind of scrutiny, to be looked at as an enemy, as a threat, by his Pack Omega.
Then Ghost leans in and fucking bites Soap, right there, laying another claiming bond on top of the one Roach can see. Turns and glares daggers right at Roach. Roach tilts his head, almost a submission and definitely showing off his own claiming mark. He’s hoping that by seeing it, it helps. Then he uses his head to gesture over to Keegan, trying to show that he’s got his own Alpha- he doesn’t want Soap.
Then Ghost starts to interrogate Keegan like he’s a fucking body double and Roach feels relief that he’s no longer under those watchful eyes.
He sits, silently, as Laswell explains. Everything. From the moment Ghost took off out of that communications room, to the moment he woke up in the Training Room. The Commands from one of her own. She leaves out his name and Roach sees Soap’s eyes go sharp. How Laswell herself Commanded Keegan out so Price could stim him and carry him back. The separation of them all, and finally, the process of events in the Training Room where Keegan Commanded and Roach faked a claim to snap him back.
As soon as that sentence leaves Laswell’s mouth, Ghost looks at him. Roach waits, willing to honestly answer anything Ghost asks, willing to do whatever he needs to get back to the way things were.
-
Johnny sits and listens, antsy. Simon claimed him right here in front of the Pack and he wasn't expecting it. Tenses in surprise and doesn’t have a chance to do anything before Simon is pulling back, glaring at Roach. Then interrogating Keegan, then listening to Laswell.
She mentions an Alpha who Commanded Simon, and he doesn’t care that it saved their lives, saved his Mate. He wants a name, but like she knows that that’s what he’s looking for, she doesn’t give one. Doesn’t matter, he’ll steal the mission report and read it later. He wants to know who she called on that was so similar to him in voice and accent that it is tearing his Omega apart.
Feels Simon’s gaze move back to Roach when Laswell is done, waits to see how it’ll all go down.
-
Simon feels half Ghost as soon as Laswell stops talking. Getting context for a lot of things helps. Still he- isn’t quite there yet. Goes back to staring at the other Omega, and digs into his memory.
“You- got taken too.” A nod. “And they tried to-” A flinch, and a nod. “Not your fault.” Simon says it like a judge delivering a verdict, then moves on to the training room incidents.
“You, scent marked my Mate. Who was unbonded. Probably saved my life when you did it.” Silence. The other Omega is pulling back, like he wants to run. Simon pushes.
“I stabbed yours. At least twice. Nearly broke his nose.” There’s just a flash of anger in green eyes and Simon relaxes.
“Roach.” The whole room exhales. “We- probably talk more later. But. Thank you. ” He can’t remember it all. Doesn’t know how the next conversation will go. But that’s Roach. His Pack Omega. Simon knows that. Drops his head onto Johnny’s shoulder and breathes for a minute.
The room around him is silent, tense. Simon knows that he and his Mate are the center of attention currently. Hates it. Starts to get tense all over again. Is about to snap, and drag Johnny out of here, when Keegan opens his mouth.
“Hey Gaz, can we get a movie or something?”
-
Keegan nearly fucking faints with relief when Riley looks at Roach, and finds his name. Fuck the rest of it. They can work on everything else, but he saw Roach. And with that, they’ll be able to rebuild the rest. There was a chance, that Riley never would. That he’d be so fucked up by his instincts over everything that happened, the Pack bond would break, right there in this room. He’d felt the little bit of anger in the bond when Riley mentioned Keegan’s injuries, and had pushed at it. It was the right choice. Riley’s Omega can recognize another one’s defense of a Mate.
Soap’s glaring daggers at Laswell, and Riley goes back to hiding, hand so tense on Soap’s chest Keegan watches his nail beds go white from the pressure. They have to stay here for a while, to let Riley find more pieces of the Pack bond in his own head.
Gaz, moves with a purpose once Keegan asks. Setting up a movie and hitting play. Hesitates visibly, and then offers two waters to Riley, who’s watching him out of the corner of his eye. Riley takes them. There’s another piece. Beta, providing for the Pack.
Riley’s eyes go to Price and the staring starts up again.
-
Roach withers under Ghost’s stare, still ready to run, when Ghost sees him. Acknowledges his kidnapping. There’s a flash of sympathy when Roach flinches as he almost says out loud what was done to him. Settles a bit when the judgment from up high comes down in his favor. Not his fault. Not that he was taken. Not that he was in that room. Not that in his heat he begged for the wrong Alpha.
Then Ghost brings up the training room and he wants to sink into the floor. Accusing words, accurate accusing words . He did scent mark Soap, he did try and claim a fellow Omega’s Mate. But Ghost tells him that it probably saved his life, and while Roach knew that from the very beginning, hearing it from Ghost is the last piece he needed to believe it.
When Ghost brings up Keegan, how he hurt him, there’s a hot flash of anger in his scent and the bond. Ghost did stab Keegan, almost killed him, just because he was trying to help. If Keegan hadn’t jumped in then Soap would be dead at Ghost’s hands and that would have broken him beyond repair. He doesn’t apologize for it, and Roach doesn’t want one, but the acknowledgement is there and that’s better than nothing.
When Ghost says his name, he can feel the Pack bond flare under his skin and in his brain. Solid, stable for the first time in days. Ghost thanks him and he doesn’t know how to respond to that, just nods once, slow and easy and then looks over at Keegan as soon as his Lt.’s piercing gaze has shifted away from him.
-
Johnny lets Simon curl into him, thankful that he saw Roach, could say his name. The Pack bond flared hard when it happened, like it was on the verge of snapping and that moment brought it back to full strength. He’s glad for it, losing that would be the last straw. They’d never come back from that.
He’s careful to keep Simon protected in his embrace even as Gaz flutters about the room. Drawing attention off of Simon. He remembers this from the Drop, how as soon as Simon was back in his head even a little he hated the eyes on him. Keegan offers the distraction just like Roach did the first time and he manages to find gratefulness under the protective instincts he can still feel in his chest when he looks at Keegan.
They’ll need to talk, but for now he can wait. Wait for the next wave to come, knows it’s here when Simon snaps from where he’s being handed water to look at Price.
-
Simon stares at Price, digging through his memory. There’s not a lot in there relating to the Captain. Which is weird. A whole tangled mess of a mission, but Simon can’t find Price in it after the bond broke. Tilts his head past Johnny’s a little and thinks.
“Where were you?” It comes out flat and accusing. Price actually flinches. Simon blinks. “I got Commanded, by someone Laswell is trying really hard to keep anonymous. But there was a Pack Alpha in the room, wasn't there?”
Simon’s aware he’s being unfair, but the edges of his brain feel like knives. Nothing that happened in that hospital is anyone in this room’s fault, if anything parts of it are his. But- there’s the wrong Scottish voice in his head, and Price was right fucking there.
“Did you even try?”
-
Keegan feels the phantom pain of knives in his skin when Riley turns to Price and lays blame at the Captain’s feet. The fucked up thing is- he can kinda see it. Laswell handled him, but a stranger handled Riley.
The air in the room goes sour, the Pack bond being yanked around by Riley. Price breaks the staredown with his Lieutenant and looks at Keegan. Just for a second, but it’s a plea for help and- goddamnit.
Always looking at Keegan. Fuck all of this. He helps them anyways.
“Who trained you to resist Commands?” Keegan pitches his voice casually. Like he’s talking about sports. That piercing gaze snaps to him. Keegan smiles. That’s right Riley. Look at me.
“It wasn’t me. Wasn’t your Mate either. So that leaves Price and Laswell. And newsflash. The Alpha that does your training, is the Alpha that will have the hardest time getting a Command to stick.”
Riley is giving Keegan a look that reminds him of masks, knives, and losing a team. Keegan very carefully does not look at Soap. The staring competition breaks.
“Sorry. I know- it’s just. Messy.” Riley’s tone is a little softer, and Price shakes his head.
-
Roach watches it all go down, feeling vaguely ill. Price is flinching away from accusations. Accusations from a Pack Omega. Accusations that Pack Alpha failed to protect . Roach can see why Ghost’s instincts are going here, accusing and angry- looking for an outside reason for his pain. Looking for someone or something to blame.
It scrapes him raw from the inside out. He wants to defend Price, knows nothing else except that Price did his damndest to help as best he could.
Then Keegan meets Price’s eye and steps into the conversation. Why is it always him? Yes, he’s their medic but he’s not their fucking therapist and goddamn it he’s not Pack either. It shouldn’t be on him to fix them. It has to be tearing him apart, putting back together a family he hasn’t been able to step into.
But he does it. Lays out very simple terms, until Ghost is almost sulking. More tension bleeds out, even as Price sends apologies in his scent and then speaks them into the air.
“I- feel like a failure, as your Captain and as a Pack Alpha. But you have my word, Simon, that I will spend every moment from here on out making it up to you. I never want to see my family broken like this again, and it’ll be my job to stop that from happening. I won’t ask for forgiveness, just offer a promise to do better.”
Roach frowns, he wants to help but Price’s guilt is understandable. He hates it. Keegan is so far away from him and he wants to cross the room and crawl into his lap. He doesn’t, just stays on the floor and waits for the moment when he can go back.
-
Johnny can see just how pointedly Keegan is not looking at him, probably terrified Soap’s gonna lose it for talking to Simon directly. He’s not. Keegan, once more, is fixing them like only he can. Only someone outside the Pack could do this, and he’s eternally grateful. When they sort through their shit he’s gonna have Gaz bake him a cake or something.
Then Price is offering apologies, scent going sour with shame and regret, pain and failure. It makes Johnny’s Alpha perk up, sensing the weakness, the imbalance. It screams at him, Pack Alpha failed, didn’t protect Pack, doesn’t deserve his place, take it . He shoves that down, dragging it kicking and screaming into the back of his mind. He doesn’t want to be Pack Alpha, doesn’t want anyone but Laswell and Price in those slots. Johnny’ll take himself out of this room if he has to, until that screaming animal is silenced.
He shifts, tucking himself further back into Simon, draws on his scent, can smell the forgiveness in the air. Simon will forgive the Captain, he just has to get all of this confusion out first.
-
Simon can feel the challenge in the bond. The opening he made with his words, grabbing Johnny’s Alpha instinct. Can feel Johnny fight it down. It doesn’t vanish. Just gets added to the pile of things they have to keep dealing with. So far the only person in the room Simon doesn’t want to fight to some degree is Gaz.
Looking at Laswell, who’s keeping secrets makes that hint of challenge in the bond rise to the front of his brain. Simon sneers at her and looks away. Going back to Keegan, who he keeps almost forgetting is there. Remembers fighting him, and being told to stop. Rolls the shoulder that still aches and watches Keegan notice it.
“Did you throw me through a fucking wall?”
Keegan shakes his head. “Floor. Right about the time you tried to gut me.”
Simon snorts. “Didn’t try. Would have. Knew you were someone I was supposed to not murder.” Drags his nose through Johnny’s hair and focuses on the movie for a moment. It’s easier, to not look at them. He can smell the stress in the air, like smoke.
“Roach? Get your Mate off the fucking floor.”
-
Keegan’s trying to not antagonize more than would be helpful. The issue with Laswell is gonna blow, and he can’t tell if it’ll be Soap or Riley to force it. Price needs to do something with Soap. Keegan can smell the pending challenge. Laswell’s caught it too. It’s something that only another Alpha would catch.
And if Price lets the guilt weigh on him, there’s going to be another threat to the Pack bond. Of course Riley keeps pushing them all. Probably not even intentionally. There’s a feral haze around his eyes, threatening to come back every time he deals with someone directly. So it’s good he’s pretending to watch the movie.
Keegan slowly gets up. Watching Soap. His guess that Soap is better than him seems to be holding true. So he goes to Roach’s end of the couch, and sits down, wrapping an arm around his Mate’s shoulders. Lowers his voice as much as he can.
“If this turns into a fight, promise me you’ll get out of the way.” It could be Riley, going for either of them. Could be Soap, going for Price. Could be any fucking combination inbetween. But there’s violence building in the air, and it’s one of those things Keegan’s pretty sure has to happen.
-
Roach freezes again when Ghost speaks to him directly, relaxes only a little when it’s not more challenge, more accusation, more pain. He watches Keegan cross the floor, slowly and openly, chin tilted slightly up as he goes. Roach’s stress level drops, cuts in half as soon as Keegan presses against his side.
It’s a comfort, to have his recently bonded Alpha right next to him, right up until he’s whispering in his ear. Roach- doesn’t think this will devolve into anything, but Soap’s gone unnaturally tense and Price’s scent is all sorts of wacky and broken. To be honest, he has no idea what’s going to happen.
Then, shocking them all, Soap lays down a challenge at their feet.
-
Johnny’s entire being is on edge. His Alpha is screaming from the box he shoved it in, getting louder and angrier when Keegan gets close. It doesn’t help that he’s going to Roach, Pack Omega. Pack Omegas need protection and Price isn’t saying or doing anything. Mated or not, Roach was just recently hurt, and someone needs to protect him. Keegan failed. Price failed. Laswell failed.
Failed so hard she had to get an Alpha outside the Pack to Command his Mate. Failed so hard she chose the one person that messed Simon up, tore him apart so badly Johnny wasn’t sure he was going to be able to put his Omega back together.
“I want a name, Laswell.” And everyone jerks to look at him, he sits forward, eyes narrowing. “Who did you get to Command my fucking Mate?”
Laswell’s jaw clenches, smelling the challenge in the air, Johnny hopes she fights it because he can’t. Alpha grabbing him by the throat. She shakes her head and he lets more than a little Alpha tone seep into his voice. On the edge of a Command but not quite. “ Tell me his name, Kate. ”
The whole room shifts, scents going as tense as everyone’s bodies now, sitting on the knife’s edge. Johnny shifts further forward, ready to stand, ready to fight. “ A name, now .”
-
Simon gets pulled along with it. When Johnny leans forward, Simon shifts, going from laying over his back, to actively defending it. Staring at Laswell, throwing the weight of his scent and presence behind the challenge. He wants to fucking know, too. So he can get them to release it. And thank them. And maybe kick their ass up and down the training room. Whoever it was- saved them all. Also nearly cost Simon his mind and his Mate.
Laswell shakes her head and Simon feels the snarl come over his face. His Mate is asking for answers and she’s just going to hoard them? Fuck that.
There’s a scuff of boots on the floor, and every head in the room snaps to look. Simon registers Alpha, unknown, possible threat. Johnny freezes. Bond going fucking wild with so many different emotions and feelings Simon shivers. Drops his head down to rest between Johnny’s shoulder blades and wraps an arm around his chest.
-
Kate had gotten there as fast as she could. To be with her Pack, to try to fucking help in any way she could. There’s a million problems and she doesn’t know which one will boil over first. Has a pretty good idea. She’d stepped out of her office and nearly slammed into Callum.
Callum. Who she’d told to go home hours and hours ago. Callum who had been the only other Alpha within grabbing distance when it had all gone down. Who’s personal file listed the same home of record as one John MacTavish. They’d stared each other down. He’d asked, to apologize. To release the remaining Commands.
She’d refused. It’s bad enough that the shared accent had cracked something foundational in Simon’s mind, but if he’s- connected in another way. She’d thought he listened. But the bold fucking bastard just stepped up to the door of the Pack room and Johnny’s face is doing something terrible. Kate braces for the Pack to blow up right here and now.
-
Johnny’s ready to launch himself across the room and tear into Laswell, take her down a peg in the Pack and get his answers. Then he smells something. Alpha. Not Pack. Not Pack but- family? He turns, unbelieving, and sees Callum. His fucking brother-in-law.
His brother-in-law who was supposed to stay away from this line of work so he could be home with his wife , Johnny’s sister, and their fucking kids.
He slides off the couch, everything falling aside, even Simon, his Mate, as he takes in the man in front of him. Callum holds his ground even as Johnny takes a step forward. There’s nothing threatening in his scent at all, but he’s also not submitting, it rubs him raw. This is his actual family.
“Why the fuck aren’t you with Nessa?” Nessa who is pregnant with their third child. “And since when do you work with Laswell?”
“Ah wis 'ere fur communications integration. Juist happened tae be th' ainlie Alpha nearby whin Laswell wantit yin. Ye weren't even suppose tae ken ah wis 'ere.”
Johnny’s scent flares with anger. “Not supposed to know? You’re supposed to be in Scotland with your pregnant Mate. With my fucking sister , I told you to get out of this life. For her. For your fucking pups. And instead you’re Commanding my Mate?”
Callum sighs heavily, pushing his own bonded scent into the air. “If ah hadn't bin 'ere, ye ken he'd be deid. We kin fight if yi'll waant, bit Nessa wull cop that. Dae yi'll waant that?”
It hits exactly like it was supposed to and Johnny jerks back. “No I don’t want to fucking fight you,” he sags with the realization, turns to look at Laswell. “I don’t want to fight you either.” Then Price. “Or you, I don’t- feels like that day in the training room.” Price nods his head in understanding and he turns back to Callum, drops to a whisper. “This is all a bloody mess and I don’t know how to fix it.”
Callum reaches out, and when Johnny doesn’t fight him, he pulls him in for a hug. “Let me hulp, by releasing yer Mate. Aye?” Johnny sighs and steps back, letting Callum look right at Simon.
-
Simon can feel it, when this strange Alpha completely fucking rearranges his Mate’s mind just by stepping into the room. When Johnny gets up, without even hesitating, leaving Simon alone on the couch it burns. Simon looks immediately at Roach, some need to make sure that he won’t make a move now that Johnny’s out of his reach. Roach shakes his head, and pushes into the couch, until he’s half behind Keegan. Simon looks away, and watches.
Who the fuck is Nessa?
Johnny’s sister? He has a-
Simon never even fucking asked. Had no idea that his fucking Mate had a sister. A sister whose Mate is The Voice.
A pregnant sister. That little piece of information does several new and terrible things to Simon’s brain. Lost your Alpha, never will have pups, will never have that.
Simon nearly loses it right there, and falls back into a bad habit. Digs his nails into his palms until he feels the blood. Uses the pain to bury that. To shut his fucking Omega up. Johnny visibly sags, admitting he doesn’t want to fight.
Simon understands. The Voice is his brother in law, his sister's Mate. His Omega doesn’t. Alpha doesn’t want to fight, to protect. The shadow of the breaking bond splitting his mind. Johnny hugs the fucker. Simon snarls, low and soft. And makes eye contact with The Voice.
“Enough. You’re free. Let them go. It’s done. Let them go.”
Simon shivers, can almost feel the echoes of ‘stop fighting’ and ‘get out’ finally stop bouncing off his skull. Shoves up to his feet. Ignores the Pack, and steps up. Until he’s completing some sort of weird fucked up triangle with Johnny and-
“What’s your name?” Simon’s voice is soft, low, almost friendly.
“Callum.” He has to give the guy credit, he’s standing steady, and his scent is calm.
Simon nods, and throws everything he has into the punch. Aiming for his stomach, far away from anything vital. Follows him down until they’re both kneeling. There’s a lot going on around them, that he’s ignoring.
“Callum. Thank you. You saved my life, and we all know it. And apparently- you’re someone to Johnny. Which means I give a shit about you too. So that’s it. But-” Lowers his voice, until it’s almost a whisper. “Ever heard of The Ghost?”
Callum wheezes a little, and nods. Simon hums. “Good. Nice to meet you.” Gets back up to his feet. Johnny reaches out and Simon shakes his head.
“Stay. Make sure I didn’t break him. I need a minute.” His head is the clearest it’s been since he woke up in the training room. It’s still not great.
“Laswell, Price. Outside.” They need a kick in the ass, Johnny’s going to need his challenge actually met, and Simon needs to be not here for a minute. Needs to be Ghost. Can almost feel the mask on his skin. Steps outside and goes to the kitchen.
-
Johnny watches Simon hit Callum. It’s controlled, intentionally, purposefully painful but not life threatening. Callum grunts, scent flaring with pain as he hits a knee. As soon as they’re both down, Simon practically welcomes him to the family, then says something that makes Callum go pale. Stands up leaving his brother-in-law on the floor. Leaves the room and walks away from Johnny for the first time since they re-bonded. He’s proud, he still feels gutted.
He helps Callum off the floor, doesn’t apologize. Flinches a bit when Callum looks over at him with wide eyes. “You Mated the fuckin’ Ghost ?”
“It’s a long story, can’t get into it now.” Simon’s order to Laswell and Price rings in his ear, his challenge still laying somewhere on the floor between them all. “But I’ll explain what I can. For now- thank you, I’d be- fuck I’d probably be dead if you hadn’t done what you had. So, thank you and- don’t go anywhere until we get a chance to talk. Okay?”
Callum nods and Johnny follows Laswell and Price to the Training Room.
Laswell turns first, Price leaning up against the wall.
“Well, MacTavish?”
Johnny tilts his head. “I don’t want to fight you.”
Laswell shakes her head. “You know we have to, I can still smell the challenge in your scent. We have to acknowledge it or it’ll flare up again.” She leans in and growls, meeting his challenge.
The second he hears it his Alpha flares, and they’re off. Johnny’s not in the fight, not really. Simon’s side of the bond is back to how it felt before, and it settles him like no Alpha pissing match ever could. It makes it so much easier to actually submit when Laswell pins him. She helps him back onto his feet and then he turns to Price. The process repeats, Price meets his challenge, sits him down, accepts the submission.
Ten minutes later and Johnny can feel the Pack settle into his bones. He’s back where he’s supposed to be. Keegan is still an issue, can feel the prick of it under his skin, but that’s not a Pack thing, and it can wait. Wait until Simon is back and he and Roach are fully fixed. Until their Pack Omega base’s foundation is no longer cracked.
-
Keegan makes sure he’s between the new Alpha and Roach. But stays his ass on the couch. Watches it all go down. Measures the angle of the hit and knows Riley punched Callum like he’d stabbed Keegan. Careful, but painful. Riley breaks out of the room like it’s on fire, blood on the wrong side of his knuckles. Price and Laswell go next, Soap on their heels.
Keegan exhales and kisses Roach’s hair. Nods at Gaz. “Hang with Gaz for a sec.” Gets to his feet and offers Callum a hand.
“Hi. Long fucking day huh? I’m Sergeant Russ, medic. Can I take a look?” Callum takes it and gets to his feet, shrugging.
“Aye, but I’m pretty sure if he wanted me hurt, I’d be hurt.”
Keegan snorts. Presses careful fingers into the muscle anyways. “To be fair, he stabbed me and I’m here. That was basically a handshake from the big bastard.”
Callum winces at the prodding, but nothings too tender, or firm where it shouldn’t be. Keegan steps back. “You’ll live. Probably bruise like hell. Arnica cream, heat. Usual routine.”
Keegan turns, gestures at the two people who have somehow started a small squabble on the couch. “The curly haired one is Roach, my Mate. The other one is Gaz. Part of-” Keegan hesitates “Johnny’s- nope. Your brother-in-law’s Pack. The rest of them should be back soon. You being here- helped a lot. Until then, I solemnly swear no one else will hit you.”
Callum grins, picking up a water and cracking it open. Keegan watches the squabble.
“Oi! No more injuries. I swear to god.” Smiling when he gets flipped off by them both. At least part of the Pack is comfortable.
-
Simon stands in the kitchen and fights the urge to wreck it. A lot’s going on in his head, new things and old things. He can feel the challenge rise in the bond, then subside. Rise again. Knows Laswell and Price are handling it.
Washes his hand at the sink, and then very carefully steps back from the bond, and digs his fingers into the bruises on his ribs. Until the pain snaps in, taking the panic at seeing Callum, the weird bond shock echo that pulled pups into the mess of it all, and the lingering resentment for Roach and burying it.
Simon takes a deep breath, readjusts the bond, checking for any sign Johnny caught even a little of that, and grabs the pile of ready made sandwiches out of the fridge, plus one. Takes it all back to the Pack room and-
Roach and Gaz are squabbling over something, it’s familiar and Simon almost smiles. Throws a sandwich at Keegan, hands one to Callum, dumps the rest of them onto Gaz and takes his back to the corner of the other couch he’d claimed, setting one for Johnny onto the cushion beside them. Callum and Keegan are both giving him a little bit of a side eye. Simon leans back, fully prepared to knock their heads together. “What?”
Keegan shakes his head. “Well. You’re mostly back aren’t you?”
Simon shrugs. “Mostly. Wouldn’t take much to flip my shit again, but I know who and where I am, which is fun.”
Callum looks like he wants to talk. Simon, would like to actually have a conversation, but he’s also a giant reminder of how little Simon has bothered to learn about his Mate, and a bunch of other shit. Turns and looks at Roach instead. “Stop bullying Gaz and eat something before the medic starts making speeches.”
-
Roach watches the strange Alpha with wary eyes, careful not to let anything in his scent betray his hesitation. Then Soap mentions a sister, a pregnant sister, and falls into the new Alpha like a long lost brother. Come to find out- it’s because he is. Roach had no idea Soap had an actual family out there. Most of them don’t. Gaz does, but just his mom. Johnny’s got like- multiple people outside of this life. Good for him, Roach hopes nothing happens to them.
Ghost does his casual threat thing and Roach suppresses a smile, watches the way Callum goes a little pale with the knowledge that he just came face to face with The Ghost and lived. It’s kinda funny or would be if everything wasn’t fucked. Keegan goes and does his medic thing and Gaz, sweet angel Gaz, pulls him out of his head. Next thing he knows he’s squabbling on the couch and he feels as normal as he has since the hospital.
Keegan returns to his side, Ghost comes back with food and it’s good. Actually eats it when Ghost berates him. Sticks his tongue out first and watches the way Callum raises an eyebrow at the interaction. Switches focus.
“So you know, Soap- uh- Johnny?” Winces a little. “I- don’t like calling him that.” Roach admits, which gets a laugh from everyone.
“Aye,” and it’s clear Callum is cutting back on his accent just like Soap does, so he can be understood. “Introduced me to my wife, Nessa. His sister. We worked together in the SAS. I’m a glorified desk jockey, but John seemed to like me. We got on good, I met the missus, and the rest is history.
“He mentioned kids?”
At that Callum lights up. “Got two of ‘em already. Amelia and Duncan. They’re growin’ like weeds and we got another on the way. Supposed to be heading home to see ‘em soon. S’why John’s so pissed that I’m here.” There’s the faint scent of paternal affection rising in the air and Roach melts under it.
Wonders what that’ll smell like on Keegan and shuts that down so fucking fast he goes dizzy. “That’s sweet. Is it just you, two?”
Callum shakes his head. “Nah, we live down the road from Finn and Aisla, John’s parents and their gran. Sweet lady, hell of an arm when she wants to swing her cane.”
Roach feels the whole room rise in shock. “Wait- so, you guys have like a whole family?”
A nod, and Callum tells them about all the cousins, brothers and sisters, a whole fucking clan. The MacTavish clan, and Roach is floored. That’s basically unheard of. Why the fuck would Soap chose this life when he has that waiting for him? He’s the most normal out of all of them, apparently.
He’s about to ask when the three Alphas return. Soap makes a beeline for Ghost, sitting down and curling around him. Price and Laswell take their seats and Roach feels the Pack settle.
“What have you all been talking about?” Soap asks, and Callum tells him. Soap goes a little tense before relaxing.
“Aye, been meaning to get home and see the family, been what- almost a year?”
Callum nods. “Not since the funeral.”
Soap deflates a little at that. “Been busy.”
“Saving the world, I know. You’re just missed, gran’s been talking about flying out here to drag ye back by yer ear.” Soap laughs, tilts his head to rest on Ghost’s shoulder. Callum looks around. “Well, I did my job ‘ere. Guess I should be heading out, aye?”
-
Simon commits the names to memory, even if they feel like a blow to the head. Sister, parents, gran. Pups and cousins. A massive family, that he didn’t even know existed. A whole clan of people that love his Mate. Ironically, while that makes him feel worse, hearing Callum talk so much lets him find little differences. Callum’s voice is a bit higher when he’s keeping his accent down than Johnny’s, slightly different inflections.
By the time Johnny’s back, he’s worked himself into a very deep hole about the family thing, but the hospital and it’s Commands are low on his list of priorities. Doesn’t put up a fight when Johnny pulls him into his arms, switching their positions as protector and protected. Makes sure he’s only putting calm and comfort into the bond, resolves to work through his shit on his own. Callum is getting ready to leave and Simon can’t stop seeing Tommy dead on the floor.
“Callum- you know how to find us. Laswell can give you my number, too.” Doesn’t offer a why. Doesn’t even begin to explain that. But desk jockey or not, Callum has a guardian Ghost now. Laswell startles a bit, but nods. Price-
Price knows. A horrible understanding on his face. Simon shows him his teeth. Demands he keep his giant mustached mouth shut. Johnny’s arms tense around him, and his voice is a low rumble as he says goodbye. Simon occupies himself with the sandwich he’s been holding, very done with interacting with people in general.
-
Keegan is sure he’s drowning the bond in pride but- Roach is talking to a strange Alpha and aside from some initial wariness, it’s been fine. Still leans into Roach a little bit, offering his silent support.
Soap and the other two Alphas file back in and Keegan relaxes about 70%. The scent of challenge is gone. His own Alpha settles down in his head, the whisper of Pack to take, win, fight, have going silent.
He almost misses it, the wild look in Riley’s eyes when he offers a way for Callum to contact him. Oh. Jesus weeping Christ.
Keegan still has nightmares about the look in Riley’s eyes when he said my dead brother is standing next to you. The matter of fact tone, the blank eyes, the steady hands- the entire fucking clip of rounds punched into the wall. Watches the threat in Riley’s face, the heartbroken look on Price’s, the faint confusion on Soap’s. Callum escapes the room and Keegan envies him a bit.
What a fucking mess. These past few days have been a cluster fuck, but this- would have been a mess even on a good day. And this is a very bad day. Keegan’s been watching, hoping that his Commands hadn’t gone as deep as Callum’s. Sets his chin on Roach’s shoulder as Callum leaves and sighs. Can feel the eyes on him. Again.
“What Riley?”
“Just wondering what took you so long.”
Keegan rolls his eyes, knows Riley’s distracting, hiding. Takes a deep breath of the bonding scent on Roach’s skin. “You’re picking a fight. Pick the one you actually want.”
The room goes tense, and Riley’s voice is a little sharper. “Was it really fight or die?”
Keegan looks up, meets his eyes. “Yeah. It was. Wish it wasn’t. I’m sorry. But it was. And I- I needed your help. To rescue Roach. But I knew which way was West.”
Riley’s face goes sharp, reading between the lines. The Lieutenant nods, and curls up in Soap’s arms. Keegan looks at Soap and waits. To see if they need to have any of their shit out here and now too.
-
Johnny is very careful about how he approaches the room, Simon’s pulled back from the bond and he knows something is happening but he doesn’t know what. There’s the faintest tendrils of guilt and it’s probably because of Callum. That Simon didn’t know about his family, but- they’ve been busy and Johnny didn’t want to tell him. Because he knows enough to know that Simon has lost everyone and telling him about the happy life he has back home felt wrong. He’s regretting it now, but- he can’t change the past.
Simon goes on the attack again, this time acknowledging Keegan’s role and it sets his nerves on edge. But- Simon seems to relax, a fraction, at what Keegan is saying. Then those steel gray eyes turn to him, intentional eye contact. His Alpha snarls, Soap doesn't.
“Russ- we, have some shit to work out but- I can’t do it now. I’m on edge and I’m genuinely concerned that if I get the upper hand like last time I’ll kill you.” The air rushes out of the room and he sees Roach sit up, eyes narrowed. “I would very much like to not do that. So- tomorrow, bright and fucking early, we’ll head out to a range. I- can’t do it here, where Pack can smell it.”
An understanding nod and as soon as the eye contact leaves, he feels himself settle just a bit. He leans into Simon and drops his voice. “We can stay, or we can go, but I’m ready to talk whenever you are.” Glances down and sees crescent shaped cuts on Simon’s palm and reaches out to gently brush under them. Wants to take this pain away and doesn’t know how. Pack is settled but nothing is okay.
-
Roach sits up the second he hears Soap say he’s likely to kill Keegan, retort of I’d like to see you fucking try on the tip of his tongue. Keegan’s hand on his arm stops it before he can speak that into the air. Well fucking aware Ghost will have no issues killing him in defense of his Mate, settles back when the challenge is revoked.
He’s still on edge, but, the Pack bond no longer feels like it’s being pulled out of his brain and Ghost is looking at him without making the hairs on his arm stand up so, they’re mostly okay. They still need to talk, Omega to Omega, but that can wait until their Alphas are done with their pissing match.
Roach leans into Keegan. “What do we do now?” Keegan’s been the driving force of this whole thing and Roach isn’t sure what they should do. Stay here and hope nothing else explodes, or go back to their own rooms to decompress. Either one could be a disaster.
-
Simon makes a choice for all of them. Curling his fingers to hide his palm and getting to his feet. Uneaten sandwich falling to the couch as he does. Pulling Johnny along behind him with one hand. Scent marks Gaz with his wrist as easy as breathing. Getting close enough to Roach and Keegan to mark Roach makes his spine tingle but he does it. Marking Roach, solidifying the Pack bond a little more- and that’s his limit. Nods at everyone else, and turns to the door. Leading the way back to their bedroom, Johnny’s hand still in his. As soon as they’re in, and the door shut. Simon strips out of his clothes and slides into the nest in his underwear.
It’s so much. He can feel the beginning of a scream in his chest, weighed down by the exhaustion of the day. The days. Johnny slides in next to him and Simon-
God Johnny is the best thing he has, the only person in the Pack he doesn’t want to fight aside from Gaz. His Mate. Simon pushes into his arms, shoving his face into his neck and hiding.
“I can’t- if you need to talk. I can listen. But I can't, talk about it. When you go tomorrow. I’m staying here. Come get me after, and I’ll try to talk then, okay?” Throwing his scent around, until the Pack scent is buried under layers of their bond. Trying to keep everything else in until he can deal with it. Johnny’s hands are steady, one holding his back, the other in his hair. Simon melts into it. Offers an inch.
“I’m glad- it was someone you trust. Makes it better. Maybe worse for you but- you trusting him makes it a little less painful.”
-
Keegan actually holds his breath when Riley leans in and brushes his wrist over Roach. Not wanting to even move, in case it goes sideways. He can see the impending explosion on the Lieutenant. As soon as Soap and Riley vanish down the hallway, he starts a mental count. Giving them three minutes to get into their room.
“We’re done for the day. Everyone’s hitting a limit.” Keegan isn’t too far behind them, and apparently he’s got an ass kicking appointment in the morning. And he actually has to fight back. Soap’s words were not an idle threat. If Keegan doesn’t actually fight him, it’ll make it worse.
“Either of you hurt?” Price and Laswell both shake their heads. Keegan nods, and gets to his feet, leaning down and pulling Roach up into his arms, holding him to his chest. He’s been- disassociating a little. Now that the imminent threat is gone, he wants to hold his Mate and go back to their fucking den.
He peeks the corner of the hallway like he’s clearing a building, no sign of Soap or Riley. Keegan moves. Once they’re back in their room he gently sets Roach down, dropping a kiss to his hair.
“I’m gonna shower these fucking blockers off. And then maybe go the fuck to sleep. You wanna come darlin’?”
-
Johnny watches with a careful eye as Simon picks and chooses who to scent mark, knows he’s at his limits when he sees the slight shake of his hand. Stands and follows right behind him, hands still locked together, feeling a little antsy when he turns his back to Keegan fully.
He’s barely gotten the door shut when Simon is stripping down and climbing into his nest, mostly undressed. It- settles something deep in his chest. Omega in their den, in his nest, safe and protected. He locks the door without much thought, another layer of protection. Strips down himself and slides right in next to Simon. Johnny opens his arms and Simon slips into them, pressing into his embrace and burying his face. Hiding. He tightens his arms and pulls him just a little bit closer. Wishes for a moment he could actually crack open his chest and put Simon there.
Johnny understands that Simon is feeling overwhelmed, had caught the hurt and the guilt when his family got brought up, wants to give him something. So he talks. He lets his accent go a little, voice going deeper, rumbling with Alpha. He tells him about his childhood, about his sister. How Simon reminds him of her, their boundless energy and strong will, determination and sass.
He talks about his mom and dad, his seemingly perfect upbringing. How he always felt like there was more to life. Talks about his granddad, how he lost him, how he was the only person to ever see Johnny’s struggles. Tells Simon about his gran, her dominating personality, her loving nature, how she always knows what someone needs before they even know it themselves.
He talks about his niece and nephew, his cousins, doesn’t miss the slight tense to Simon’s shoulders when he brings up the pups. Can’t stop himself from leaning down to drag his nose through soft hair. “When it’s our time, our pups will have cousins of their own. And if- if you want, you can meet everyone. Nessa will love you, so will gran, and everyone else will just be excited to meet my Mate. There’s no pressure, but- I can see you there. In the countryside, it’s beautiful and you’d fit right in.”
Doesn’t push that anymore, moves on. Tells Simon about the trouble he got into as a kid, admits that he told his parents about him, back when he thought Simon was an Alpha. They teased him for his crush but offered support for the non-traditional relationship. Talks until Simon shifts up and kisses him. He drowns in it, pushing love and devotion, apologies and promises, anything and everything that he can, into the kiss. “I love you,” he whispers when it breaks. “I love you and when you’re ready I want to help.”
-
Roach eagerly follows behind Keegan, ready to be out of any sort of danger area. Everyone is on fucking edge and he hates it. He does feel a little okay, Ghost scented him all proper like before leaving and it felt like another layer of the Pack snapped back into place in his brain, but he’s still on edge. Keegan and Soap are going to fight tomorrow, for real, not like that first day in the training room, and Roach is nervous. They’re both so similar, that if something goes wrong there’s likely to be real injuries. Roach will have to stand there and see Keegan hurt Pack, and will have to watch Pack hurt his Mate.
They don’t run into Soap or Ghost in the hallway, Keegan had staggered their exit intentionally and it worked well, so when they get back into their den he feels himself relax. Leans into the kiss that Keegan offers, and then starts peeling off his clothes. “Yes please.” He’s impatient waiting for the water to warm. Keegan smells wrong without his scent and it makes Roach feel like he’s standing on uneven flooring.
He crowds Keegan into the water more demandingly than he would have any other time, practically bullying his Alpha. Keegan laughs at him, pulling him under the spray as well. He grabs for the shampoo and Roach shakes his head. “Not yet- wanna wait until I can smell you again.” Slips his body as close to Keegan’s as he can get. “It’s all so fucking sideways. You’re the only solid ground I’ve got right now and having you not smell like yourself is setting my teeth on edge.”
-
Simon listens. Let’s the soothing cadence of Johnny’s voice undo some of the damage he’s done to himself. The thicker accent, the Alpha tone rolling.
He wants to meet these people. The people who made this fucking sunshine man. He’s glad, that Johnny had one of those hallmark movie childhoods. That he has family. He’s still a little stuck on the sister. The one who’s apparently a little like him, but a mother almost three times over. Right until Johnny offers that promise. That they will have pups. And those pups will have cousins. Will have family.
“Think she’ll forgive me for hitting her husband?” Simon keeps his tone light, mostly teasing. If Nessa is like him, then she will. He would, if he does enough mental gymnastics to try to reverse these roles. Johnny keeps talking, and he told his fucking family about Simon. That nearly knocks Simon out of his body.
This family thing is so complicated for him, and it isn’t for Johnny. But he- before they were Mates, or anything. Johnny told his family. And they’d supported it, when it had been two Alphas. So they might- be okay with who and what Simon really is. Is an Omega Ghost worse than an Alpha officer?
Simon leans up, kissing Johnny with everything he has. Trying to push gratitude, love, and a little bit of hope. “I love you. And I- want to go. Meet them. I think I’d like Callum if I wasn’t half out of my mind when we met. And- I can’t talk about all of it. But. I had a brother, who had a wife and a son. And I don’t anymore. You have a family. I feel shitty, that I never asked. I forget sometimes, that not everyone is like me.” Settling back into Johnny’s hold and letting some of it go.
Johnny’s not upset with him, and offered everything Simon wanted to know, and then some. He still directs his next words into Johnny’s chest. “Proud of you. For the challenge, and not trying to fight it. Think it had to happen. Know tomorrow has to happen. Do you want to- try to talk about it? You know why I’m struggling with Roach.”
-
Keegan holds Roach, and waits until he can very faintly smell himself. Throws his scent while the water washes the blockers away, until the bond scent drenches the bathroom, his own scent riding under it.
“I know darlin’. I’m sorry. It’s a mess, and I know it was hard on you. I hated it, too. Being the fucking medic, normally I don’t mind. I’ve taken a bunch of psych classes, and it made sense that I helped. But it’s- if it wasn’t your Pack I’d have told them all to go fuck themselves.”
He’s not proud of it. Something broke, watching Riley treat Roach like an enemy. His best friend, and his Mate at odds. And there’s no Pack bond for him to fall back on. And tomorrow- he and Soap are going to take pieces out of each other. It had been Riley’s claim that had kept the first fight almost playful.
And now Keegan wants to bounce his Lieutenant’s head off another floor. There’s nothing saving Soap except a very small part of Keegan’s brain that still says brother.
Keegan shakes his head, refocusing on his Mate, where his attention should have been this entire time. Starts the shampoo process when Roach nods and tries to fall into the familiarity of it, the comfort he can feel in the bond. Drops his head down and leans his cheek on Roach’s when he finishes rinsing the suds away.
“I’m sorry. For all of it. Today was fucking awful. But- there was progress. I think it’ll be okay. The Pack. I don’t know where I’m gonna end up with it all, except that I’ll be by your side. I don’t know how tomorrow will go. I- can you stay here? In the den. Safe. I’ll come back to you. I promise. But I have to actually fight him, and I can’t do that if you’re not safe.”
-
“Forgive you?” Johnny asks, then laughs. “She’d probably thank you. Nessa’s good like that, knows when someone needs a good knocking around and probably hasn’t been able to do it since she came down with her third.”
Simon kisses him back, reflecting all this good and warm into the bond, he melts into it. “It’s okay, I didn’t- want to tell you. Thought it would hurt to hear that I had family, but I shouldn’t have kept that from you. It was unfair, secrets I shouldn’t have kept. And I’m sorry. From here on out I won’t keep anything from you, and if I think of something I’ll tell you right away.”
He shifts closer when Simon brings up the fight. “It had to, if I had tried to shove it down it would have made it worse. But I submitted, to Price and Lawell, things are good there. Keegan- I’m worried I’m actually going to hurt him. Mostly because thinking about hurting him makes me wanna preen and posture. Something in my brain is still tracking him as family but it’s overshadowed by the want to destroy him for what he did. It doesn't seem to matter that he saved your life, my life, none of it matters. I can’t- stop the anger, my Alpha is this snarling thing at the back of my mind every time I think of him.”
Takes a steadying breath. “I can’t- talk about it anymore, but I want you to stay here. Maybe- that can be your time to talk to Roach. I don’t know, all I know is I’m going to be practically feral and I might- I might actually hurt him and I can’t have you see that. Can’t be that person in front of you.”
Simon drops an understanding kiss to his chest.
For the rest of the night they stay there, pressed together, and in the morning he leaves.
-
Roach understands, knows this whole thing is harder on Keegan than any of them, bond break or not. He’s got no foundation to lean on, no family bond, the only reason he’s here at all still is Roach, maybe Ghost, but not himself. There’s guilt there, in that realization, that Keegan’s been tearing himself apart just for him. Hates it, wishes he could fix it, knows he can’t. All he can do is offer to honor Keegan’s wishes.
“I’ll stay here, of course. I’d never intentionally put myself in danger like that. Whatever you need.”
The rest of the shower passes like normal, and by the end Roach feels boneless and lazy. Tired. He practically drags Keegan into the nest, moving them into his favorite sleeping position. He’s out pretty quickly, dreams rocky but never drifting into nightmares.
Chapter 5: They Don't Want What We Want (And They Don't Care)
Summary:
Title from Asking Alexandria
Chapter Text
Johnny heads out to the motorpool and drives out to the agreed upon point. Waits for Keegan and raises an eye when Price steps out of the same truck. He understands when he sees Keegan hand him his medical bag.
His Alpha is pacing in his brain now that he’s there, taking in Keegan. He can feel the challenging growl building in his chest but he holds onto it. Waits until Keegan is away from Price then steps forward. Keegan nods at him, once, and he lets it go. Allowing every last bit of feral energy to pour off of him, showing of his teeth along with the challenge and preparing to meet Keegan head on.
-
Roach wakes when Keegan slips out of bed. Leaves him with a kiss, and Roach wants to pull him back, tie him to the bed, and never let him go. Instead he pushes love and support into the kiss and slips back under the covers.
He feels Keegan pull back from the bond and understands. Neither one of them want Roach to feel the anger and aggression, and the only way to do that is make it so he can’t feel anything.
Roach watches him go, tasting blood as he chews through his lip, and prays that he gets his Mate back in one piece.
-
Simon waits until Johnny is out of the room, and the bond thins down to almost nothing. And then lets himself seethe. Everyone and their dog had seen Simon go feral, shit Johnny had a front row seat to some of the worst parts of it. So while he understands, that Johnny doesn’t want him to see it. He’s a little annoyed it's a choice. Simon hadn’t gotten that. Had been a feral snarling mess, tearing people apart with knives and teeth. And not just Pack, but Keegan and Callum had caught pieces of it too.
Has to do something. To let this go. Before Johnny comes back. Simon gets out of bed, slapping the lights on. And digs his tattoo kit out. Takes a sharpie and freehands a design, on the inside of his left bicep. Knows it’s a painful place. Picks it because of that. He’s just loading the needle with ink when the thread of the bond goes tight. Simon lifts his tattoo machine, like a salute. And starts working.
Instead of doing anything related to the hospital, he falls back to an old design. A church tower. Heavy on the blacks, relying more on the emotion of the piece than the little details. With every line of pain from the needle, he settles a little bit more into his skin. Finishes the piece in one sitting, instead of the two or three he’d originally planned. Until his ass is numb. Wiping the blood and excess ink away. Pressing a second skin dressing on it, one that can stay for a couple days, and he can shower and move with.
Simon gets up, cleans up after himself, and packs everything back away. Throwing a hoodie on, and picking up his phone. Making an offering. Texting Roach, “Pack room?” They’re in the same boat, and mostly because of Simon so- he can at least offer. Try to keep making amends.
-
Keegan meets Price in the motorpool, and nods. It’s good. That someone else will be there. They’re quiet on the drive out. Parking next to the truck Soap drove out. Keegan hands off his med kit and blocks off the bond even further. They have to do this. And Keegan has to actually fight. So he thinks about the hospital, the ripping rage of finding Soap in the same room as Roach. Remembers his Mate’s sweet coffee scent, burning with heat, competing with an Alpha’s rut.
Keegan steps forward, and meets that feral growl with one of his own. They clash, immediately trying to actually hurt each other. Keegan draws first blood, breaking out of a hold and sending Soap skidding into the dirt, sharp rocks digging into his arms. Keegan growls. Fury and revenge and protective instinct flying into each other. Soap shoves up to his feet, and Keegan’s vision almost flickers with how much that pisses him off. His Alpha sits up, and takes control of his mouth.
“You know- I could have let him fucking die. Instead of making him fight. But I could have bitten him right there. Would have saved his life just the same.”
The fucking roar Soap lets out at that rattles his skull and Keegan flies into the fight. It all goes hazy, for minutes and minutes. Until Soap digs his fingers into the stitches on Keegan’s thigh. Keegan shouts, rolls, and goes to break Soap’s arm for that shit. Gets close, and Price’s voice rings out.
-
The second Keegan meets his challenge, echoing growl pouring out of his mouth, Johnny sees red. Throws himself at the other Alpha, looking to tear out his throat. Loses his mind a little when Keegan gets the upper hand and flings him into the dirt, gains it back when he can smell just how pissed Keegan is when he stands back on his feet.
Then the motherfucker opens his mouth, tells Soap that he could have claimed Simon, bit his fucking Mate , instead of sending him off on a murder spree. It’s so fucking rare, an Alpha with multiple claims, but it’s not impossible, in fact it’s very possible. The idea that that could have happened, that this fucking Alpha had even considered doing that, breaks him.
Every last bit of rational thought slips out at that, his brain doesn’t register Keegan, just Alpha. Just threat . Something that sounds a lot like the sound he made when the bond broke rips out of him. Johnny’s not even aware of what he's doing, acting on pure animalistic instinct, fueled by rage. Digs hard into weak spots until Keegan shouts in pain, fucks up and nearly gets a broken bone for it.
Keegan’s neck is so fucking close he could rip it out with his teeth is he wanted to. And he does. Moves to do just that when the strongest Command he’s ever felt rips through his entire being.
“ Stop .”
Johnny hesitates, so does Keegan, then they both move again, snapping with teeth.
“ Enough. Step back. ”
He shudders with the Command, hands loosening in their grip. Pack Alpha raining down on him. Johnny steps back, keeps going until Keegan is out of his hands. Keegan looks halfway between fighting the Command and screaming. Price isn’t his Pack Alpha, and he can’t fight a war on two sides. Keegan laser focuses on Johnny, and takes a step back.
“ Go again .”
And it repeats. Keegan and Johnny throw themselves at each other. Johnny going for blood and Keegan opening his fucking mouth over and over. Price stopping them before real damage can occur. It’s the training room times a million, and Johnny’s feeling it. There’s blood on his hands, on his clothes, between his teeth, and he’s sure he’s looks as worse for wear as Keegan does.
Johnny throws himself into a final hold, getting on top of Keegan and bracketing him with his knees on hips. Leans down to press his hand to his throat. He’s about to snap the motherfucker’s neck, fuck a submission, when he something in his brain tingles. His Alpha rears up, listening, hears brother reflected inside his skull and stops.
Keegan is fighting under him, but can’t buck Johnny’s weight. Price is hovering, mouth parted already. Johnny pulls his weight off of Keegan’s throat, but leaves it there.
“ Submit .” It’s not a Command, and he’ll force it if Keegan makes him, but he’s leaving it open. Just like he did the first time. “ Submit, Keegan .”
-
Roach is getting nothing from the bond, right up until pain hits it, ringing out like a thundering cannon. It’s so painful he gets a phantom twitch in his thigh and he hits the ground. Then it’s quiet again, not dead quiet, but so fucking silent it’s eerie.
He tries to distract himself, winds up in the gym. Runs miles on the treadmill until his legs feel like jelly, until they collapse under him, until the phantom pain in his leg becomes real. He limps back to his room, barely able to keep from stumbling down the hall. Feels...a little bad he didn’t stay in his room like Keegan asked him to, but- he was about to start punching the wall. Figured this was a better alternative.
Roach exits the shower, in which he sat down for, to see a text from Ghost.
Texts back, “meet in five?” Gets back an affirmative, manages to drag clothes onto his body and trudge to the room.
Ghost is already there, waves at the couch next to him and Roach collapses into the cushion, groaning in relief at being off of his feet again. “Ran like, fifteen miles, can’t really feel my legs.” He offers in way of explanation. Roach sits up, slowly offers his wrist, if Ghost wants to scent or be scented, Roach will do it. But it’s Ghost’s boundary, not his.
-
Keegan goes a little bit more insane at the Command. Price isn’t shit to him. But another voice echoes over it. Another Captain. Keegan knows how to fall in line, without a Pack. So instead of turning to see who’s Commanding him, he focuses on Soap. As soon as the go ahead comes he’s off.
They keep fighting. Snarling and ripping. Keegan’s Alpha running his mouth.
“-you could have fucking helped him. I helped yours. ” And that’s up there with the worst things he’s ever said. Get’s fucking bitten for it, teeth scraping over the delicate bones in his wrist. Keegan drives a knee up and knocks the wind out of Soap.
Again.
Again.
Until his bleeding thigh takes him down, he goes to lunge out of the way and stumbles. Soap lands on top of him with the force of a mortar strike. Pinning him. Keegan fights. Bucking his hips, trying to twist out of the hold.
Soap’s hand lands on his neck and Keegan thinks about it. There’s so many broken things around them, and he either caused them or has to help fix them. The faint scent of coffee rises up, from where Soap’s pressing into his neck.
Roach.
Keegan blinks. Staring up at Soap. “I know you.” Brother. Friend. Tilts his head back, fully. Not the half assed thing from before. But completely laying himself open. Laying there in the dirt, bleeding and sweating. Puts his life into Soap’s hands.
-
Simon reaches over, taking Roach’s hand in his, and letting his scent just go. Instead of throwing it. The Pack bond feels like a physical thing, draping over his shoulders like a blanket.
“I tattooed myself, didn’t think ahead. Probably send them both off the shits if they smell the blood. Can you?”
Roach raises an eyebrow but shakes his head. Doesn’t ask to see it. Simon sighs.
“Come on. I’ll help you stretch.”
They end up on the floor, Roach swearing when Simon pushes his leg back further. Eventually when Roach is no longer in danger of death by hamstring cramp. Simon drops down to the floor next to him.
“They’ll be okay. Probably come back all sweaty and nasty and hanging off each other like long lost brothers.” It’s the best he can do. He can almost smell the distance Keegan is holding in the bond on Roach. Just barely has a faint awareness of Johnny other than a hot slap of rage.
Simon groans, pulls the blanket off the couch and throws it over them. Drops his head onto Roach’s shoulder. “I’m taking a nap. You are too. Lieutenant’s orders. Essential Pack bonding activity.” It’s better than worrying themselves to death, and Roach is warm against him. Finally the comfort he used to be. They might have some setbacks but for now. It’s good.
-
Johnny slides his hand up, just so, meeting the submission with the space between his thumb and pointer finger. Then, slowly, pulls Keegan’s chin back down. “ I know you .” Repeats Keegan’s words back to him, feels something in his heart and his brain shift. Brother . The Pack bond wavers, shifts, spreads, pulls back.
If Keegan had been in rut- he’d be Pack right now.
Instead they both shudder with it. Keegan’s eyes clear and the scent of challenge slides off of them both. Johnny stands, pulls his weight off, offers Keegan a hand and helps steady him when his leg gives out.
“Thank you,” Johnny says as they start to hobble back to the truck. Price keeps his distance, eyes wide in realization of what just occurred, offering up the medical bag. Keegan shakes his head and lets Johnny put him in his car instead of Price’s.
Johnny talks to the steering wheel. “You saved him, saved all of us. I can never repay you for that. My Alpha knows that now. Fucking family you are, bond or not.”
They don’t mention the way it had tried, it probably hurt Keegan to feel it and have it ripped back. As soon as Shepard is dealt with he’ll make the ask to Price, but even without it- Keegan is his , co-Alpha whether he can smell it on him or not.
Johnny drives them back, carefully loosening his hold on his own bond, letting Simon feel him now that he’s not feral with it. Keegan sets their injuries when they’re back, doesn’t want to freak Roach out with the scent of blood. Johnny helps him with the worst of his then sits still as Keegan tends to him. Then they make their way back to their rooms.
They find them empty and share a look, speaking without words. And fuck, if he’s already this in-tune with Keegan it’ll be even stronger when he is Pack for real. Simultaneously they turn to the Pack room, following their bonds.
Johnny huffs quiet laughter when they find their Mates cuddling on the floor, racked out with sleep. They go to them, each of them soft as they rouse them. Simon makes a soft confused sound, then sits up fast when he sees Johnny. “Hey, look, everyone is fine,” smiles when Simon turns to see Keegan helping Roach off the floor and relaxes. “We’re okay, better than okay.”
If they had been awake, Simon and Roach probably would have felt the shift, as it, it’s back to normal now.
“Ready to get some food and go back to the den?”
-
Roach leans into Ghost to scent the tattoo, can’t smell the blood. When he relays that Ghost relaxes then moves them to the floor. Stretching out his abused legs hurts almost as bad as hurting them in the first place. Ghost knows this and doesn’t let him skip out on it. Laughs at him when Roach complains, loudly, that he hates existence.
As soon as it’s over Ghost collapses next to him, brings up their Mates. The two that are currently fighting to what Roach hopes isn’t the death. It’s Roach’s turn to smile when Ghost peels himself off the floor just long enough to grab a blanket before he tucks into Roach’s shoulder.
“That’s an order I can follow, Sir.” Ghost grumbles at him and Roach closes his eyes, lulled to sleep by the steady scent of Pack Omega.
He wakes to soft hands in his hair and a fully open Bond. Blinks open his eyes to see Keegan hovering. Roach smells blood but Keegan doesn’t look like he’s dying, and Keegan is smiling, offering him an arm to pull him off the floor.
When he winces, Keegan makes a wild face of concern. “I’m fine, ran myself ragged in the gym, Lt. got me sorted.” Distracts. “Do you need medical or can we eat dinner? M’fuckin’ starving.” Doesn’t look at Soap or Ghost, knows they’re behind him having their own conversation, doesn’t want to ruin the careful balance he has with Ghost again by looking at or getting too close to Soap.
-
Simon pushes up to his feet, pausing to rest his entire body weight on Roach’s shoulder until he makes a little oof noise. Smirks.
“Come on. All of you. Let's go get food.” He’d had a weird dream, that might not have been his own mind. One second he’d been dreaming about the Pack, piled in for a movie night because they can, not because anyones broken. Keegan had appeared, throwing popcorn, and then flickered out like an old tv with bad reception. He’s pretty sure, that during the fight, the two Alpha’s behind him had found that brother bond, but with suppressors in place, it couldn’t fit.
Still, when Roach groans about his legs and Keegan makes a complicated face of ‘god I want to help but I need it too’ Simon involves himself. Taking Roach under his right arm.
“You two made it here, figure it out.”
Keegan’s eyes flick to his left arm, and Simon realizes he’s holding it awkwardly. Can almost see the gears turning. Simon sighs.
“Tattoo.”
Johnny’s head whips around, eyes going wide. Simon starts bullying Roach out of the room. When they get to the chow hall, he just guides them over to a table. The Alphas may be hurt, but they’re walking, which means they want to provide, feed their instincts. He’ll have to explain the tattoo to Johnny later, but doesn’t regret it.
-
Keegan doesn’t really want to hand Roach over, but his legs are deeply unimpressed with carrying his weight, let alone his Mate. And it’s- nice. To see Riley just take him under arm. Weird as hell to see the Lt. give up his dominant hand to do it and that sets off a warning bell.
Riley’s holding his left arm a careful distance from his body and Keegan has a wild moment of ‘knife or needle’. Knows how Riley is, when things get to be too much and he’d had a couple long hours of alone time.
Finding out it’s a tattoo helps. Keegan follows the Omegas out, with Soap at his shoulder. When they split up, him and Soap in the chow line both balancing two trays each, he lowers his voice.
“Try not to freak out when he shows you. His tattoos? Self done. Usually when everythings too much and he needs it to hurt to make sense of it. Better than it used to be-” bloody knives, tired eyes, long nights of finding a healthy outlet.
Soap nods, eyes a little distant and careful. They make it through the chow line and back to the table without any further incidents. And get all four of them fed. It’s slow going, assorted injuries and the way Riley keeps alternating between draping his body weight on Roach, and actually eating. Everytime Roach leans back into him, eyes soft, and joy in the bond.
Once they’re back in their room Keegan leans down, kissing Roach’s hair. Can smell a faint hint of berries still lingering. “Did you have some good bonding time with the Lt? Smells like he just laid on you instead of using his words.”
-
Johnny grumbles a little when Simon hooks an arm over Roach and abandons him and Keegan to fend for themselves. He’s not actually upset, in fact he’s fucking thrilled that him and Roach seem to be okay, better than okay.
Then he mentions a new tattoo and Johnny’s head spins. Simon’s gone before he can say anything at all, following them at Keegan’s slowed pace. He feels bad about hurting his leg again, now that he’s not stuck in that feral fight mode. Can’t focus too hard on that when he hears Keegan says better than it used to be and Johnny doesn’t know what that means. Fighting, or self harm. Really hopes it’s the first, but after becoming intimately familiar with Simon’s scars- it’s probably the latter.
He’s never spotted any fresh marks, or smelt blood, but he’s kept an eye out.
Johnny’s barely focused as he runs through the line to get chow for himself and Simon. Only comes back into it when the soft scent of happy Omega rolls off of Simon and Roach. The bond hasn’t had anything bad in it since he pulled himself off of Keegan and he’s happy to keep it that way.
Roach and Keegan pair off and Johnny cleans up their meals and steers Simon back to their room. Rolling off of their previous conversation he slips off his shoes and gets right into it. “Keegan almost Pack bonded, only reason he didn’t was the suppressors. We might want to keep an eye on him, I know that probably didn’t feel good to him. Almost having that. But- we’re good. I- to be honest I almost killed him. He- said something and I went so far down into my Alpha I lost about five minutes.”
Simon’s staring at him and he chews on the side of his cheek. “But we’re good now, the almost-Pack clicking did something and it snapped me out of it. Keegan and I are as close to Pack as we can be without actually being it. How are you and Roach?”
-
Roach spends all of dinner leaning into Ghost and twining his scent with the other Omegas. It has a clear impact on the whole table, but especially Keegan and Soap, the two of them going a little glassy eyed every time the scent spikes. It’s- kind of adorable.
When they get back to the den, Roach leans into Keegan, then pulls them down to sit, aware of his injuries. “Pretty much exactly how it happened. We’re good. As good as we can be considering, well, everything considered.” He rests his hand on Keegan’s leg. “Are you okay? How did everything with Soap go? I…felt whatever he did to your leg. It fucking hurt like it happened to me so I know it had to be painful.”
-
Simon nods. “I had a weird dream about that, so thanks for that.” Nudges Johnny with his elbow to make sure he knows Simon’s joking. Sighs and starts pulling at Johnny’s shirt, tossing it aside and dropping to his knees to work on his belt.
“Yeah. He’ll probably be fine but- tell one of the others in case I wake up and decide I hate him again.” It’s not super likely, but Simon’s recently acquainted with his brain and its ability to turn on a dime. Pulls the belt free and tosses it aside. Pulls Johnny’s jeans down and taps his legs until he steps out.
“You know I won’t judge you. I mean- fuck you saw. I tried to kill you and we haven’t really talked about it. And then I tried to kill Keegan. Which you didn’t really see but if he hadn’t been moving that thigh wound would have been fatal. I meant it to be. And before that? Every person in that hospital died, but mostly because Keegan gave them the mercy. I tore into them like they were chew toys. So. Five minutes? Not bad.”
Simon rises back up to his feet and takes stock of the new injuries. They’re not great, but recognizes Keegan’s work on the bandages. Almost smiles when he notices they’re all water proof. “C’mon. Shower. I’ll keep talking as long as you’re moving.”
Johnny gives him a look but moves. Simon works on his own clothes as the shower water starts. “After Graves, I lost it. You- didn’t answer. I called for you. Thought I’d lost you, and didn’t even know why I was losing my fucking mind about it. Tore a fucking hole through the shadows on my way to the church. I’d planned on getting up there, sniping until I ran out of bullets. That’s why you found one of my knives. Known you like ten fucking minutes and couldn’t figure out how to exist without you.”
Simon steps into the bathroom, and turns his arm, so Johnny can see the church, inked into his skin. “But you came back. Every time I think I lose you, you come back.”
-
Keegan sits and sighs with relief. “I’m okay. I’m sorry you felt that. He surprised me there. I was- so fucking angry. That he was in the room with you. And my Alpha stood up and started running his mouth. Trying to push the fight.”
Slowly kicks his shoes off and stretches. “I said something I shouldn’t have. To make sure we actually fought, and got it all out. And he didn’t appreciate it but-”
Keegan turns and smiles, cupping Roach’s cheek in one hand. “For a second there, at the end. Our Alphas stared right at each other and both of us said brother. Surprised you slept through it the Pack bond tried- to pull me in. Soap fucking yanked on it I think. I felt it for a second, before the suppressors won out. But it’s-”
Laughs, nearly a sob. “It’s still there. I can still- next time everyone goes off the suppressors I’ll be in the Pack. With you and the rest of them. It’s not- I didn’t fuck it up.” Keegan’s aware he’s dirty and sweaty, still, for a second lets Roach hold all of his body weight, leaning into his shoulder. “It’s still something I get to have. Because of you.”
Keegan turns his face, hiding in his Mate’s neck, and tries to not fucking cry.
-
Johnny stands mostly still as Simon strips him down, explaining his dream and working through some of his issues. Makes a mental note to talk to Price about Keegan, too. Loses a little bit of his focus when Simon pulls down his pants. Keeps himself from getting too turned on by focusing on Simon’s words. It’s easy to do when he starts to talk about the hospital. Simon stands, still talking, taking in his injuries as he rises.
He follows, because he’d follow Simon anywhere, into anything, but especially their bathroom. Carefully, so carefully, listens to every single word that Simon says. As he explains how it all went down in Las Almas. Can still remember his own voice and you left me as he found the knife buried in the Shadow. Had no idea that Simon reacted so explosively when he was lost in those rainy streets, had no idea he was willing to die because of it.
His eyes snap to the new tattoo, fresh ink and blood under the bandage. Johnny steps into his open arms, careful not to bump it. “I will always come back to you, Simon.” He says the words into Simon’s neck, breathes them over his teeth, his mark. “There’s not a force in the entire fucking universe that could keep me away from you. I’d burn heaven and hell to the ground to climb back to you.”
Johnny teases his teeth over Simon’s neck, hints of it on his skin. “You’re mine, and I’m yours, I love you, and that’s never been more true.”
They sway together, for a moment, until the steam of the shower fills the room. “Come on, let me take care of you.”
-
Roach can feel Keegan’s joy bubbling in the bond, tiny explosions of happiness popping like fireworks. Warm and exciting. He might have asked what Keegan said, whether he was ready to hear it or not, but can’t really focus on anything except for what Keegan has just told him.
Brothers, his and Soap’s instincts had shouted. So strong it almost overrode the suppressors. Keegan’s delight is palpable, a physical weight in the air. Roach knows he was afraid to never have this, to lose it all because of the actions he chose to save them. He knows the relief is weighing heavily on him. He turns to reach up and hold onto Keegan as he takes deep breathes in Roach’s neck. Trying to ground himself.
“I told you, that Pack wasn’t lost to you,” Roach tells him, twisting to pull Keegan into his arms fully. “I’m so happy you felt it, that you believe it now. It’s okay if you want to cry about it. It’s- a lot. But you can’t just say it’s because of me. It’s because of you, everything you’ve done for us even when there was no guarantee of acceptance or Pack. That was you , and I’m so proud of you.”
Keegan sniffles, a few tears leaking onto his shirt. They’re both a little dirty, Roach less so by miles, and when Keegan sits back Roach pulls them up. “Come on, we need to get you clean, check your bandages, and then I would very much like you in the nest. Maybe I can give you a celebratory blow job if you’re good.” He winks, trying to lighten the mood with a joke that doesn’t have to be a joke, pulling Keegan into the bathroom and turning on the water.
-
Simon grumbles, wants to take care of Johnny a little. But he can feel it in the bond, when he lets Johnny wash his hair how much better it makes his Mate feel. Still, can’t help himself from reaching up and scrubbing the dirt off the side of Johnny’s head, working shampoo into his hair.
“I love you. And I’ll always be on the other side, pulling you back.” Presses a kiss to the imprint of his own teeth in Johnny’s neck and nodding at the bottle of body wash. Goes over the tattoo aftercare regime he set up for himself. This bandage for two days, unscented antibacterial soap after that for about a week.
He knows Johnny’s tattoos, has critiqued them in the back of his mind. So he’s not really expecting it when Johnny’s hand slows over a line of scars on his hip. Simon spares a moment to swear at Keegan in his own mind.
“I’ve done all of my tattoos. Picked it up years ago. Because medics get weird when they’re treating a gunshot and run into something self-inflicted. It was the idiot American's idea. Still hurts, but a little more productive. I don’t- often. It’s like.”
Simon turns, so they’re facing each other, water dripping down over them both. “The heat, when I bit myself. Brain does too much, can’t fucking think. Pain gives it a place to go. I know it’s not- great. Haven’t used knives since- some cocky shit offered to save me a seat. Usually just, push at a bruise until it aches. The tattoo’s- I plan them out ahead of time. Sketch them, so when something gets too much, I have them ready.”
Presses into Johnny’s arms, and leans there for a minute. He can’t apologize for this. Knows Johnny doesn’t like it. But out of all of the many ways Simon’s fucked up, this- doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
-
Keegan follows Roach, content to be led around. Someone else in charge. It’s nice. The hot water is a fucking god send. Keegan basks in it, tipping his head back and letting it run over his face.
“Bandages should be okay. Did them myself and I’m told I’m pretty good at the medic thing.” Tips his head down and smiles, trading their spots so he can start washing Roach’s hair. Dragging his nails over his scalp just to see the little shiver. Lets Roach bully him around and start scrubbing some of the dirt off his skin.
“Do celebratory blow jobs come with extensions? Because as much as I want it- it’ll be bad for both of our egos if I pass out in the middle of it.”
Roach snickers at him, and Keegan pretends to be wounded. Price kept Soap from actually murdering him, but Keegan’s entire body hurts and he wants sleep. They stumble out of the shower on essentially one good leg between the both of them. Keegan manages underwear and collapsing into the nest. Letting Roach rearrange his limbs.
“Try me again in the morning, might have a blow job for you hiding here somewhere.”
Roach’s hands work over his back, pushing at sore muscles and Keegan moans. “Or try me in thirty minutes if you keep that up. Magic hands. Should make you the medic.
-
Johnny doesn’t mean to linger on the scars, the ones he can tell aren’t from an injury, the ones his eyes have caught on more than once. Keegan’s voice ringing in his ear, a reminder that he’s not the only one with a past that hasn’t been shared. He doesn’t hold it against Simon, could never. Is eternally thankful to Keegan for giving Simon something less destructive to do. Doesn’t know what he’d do if he walked in on Simon, knife in hand, digging into himself.
He’d literally go out of his fucking mind.
Simon links it back to the heat, and it helps him understand. He’s got his own vices- did at least, before his granddad found him nearly dead on the floor and set him straight. Doesn’t mean he likes the idea.
Then he says the words ‘save me a seat’ and Johnny can’t help but snap to look at him. He- he’s the reason Simon stopped? Not when they got together, not after the bond, but all the way back then? When he was Soap and not Johnny, when he was nothing to the other man aside from a teammate? It’s hard for him to believe that he had such a large impact on Simon. He’s fucking overjoyed with it.
He’s maybe shaking a little when Simon leans into his arms. Offers up a piece of himself. “I used to be the guy everyone dumped their problems on. I took every bit of pain that everyone around me had and helped them through it. Drowned in it and then drowned myself in the bottle. I spent almost an entire year getting blindsiding drunk every moment I wasn’t with another human being.” Simon turns to look up at him and Johnny drops his head and buries it in Simon’s hair.
“Then I went home on leave, and couldn’t get away with it. Went into withdrawal, couldn’t stop shaking, felt sick and like I was gonna die. My grandpa found me like that and the look on his face- he never told anyone else, maybe gran… just got me off the floor, cleaned me up, and made me fucking swear to never touch it again. I only did it once. Day of his funeral. Made my way to a pub, took one sip of a pint and got so sick I couldn’t breathe. S’not in my file because no one else ever knew until now.”
It’s not the same, and he’s been sober for years now, but Simon needs to know he’s not the only one with demons hanging over his head. “Next time, I’d like a warning if you’re feeling level enough to give it. Okay? I want to help.”
-
Roach tries to stay in charge of the shower, take care of Keegan like he’s always doing for him. Does a damn good job of it for a little while. Then the asshole is dragging soft nails over his scalp and he gets lost in it for just a moment. When he snaps back he grumbles and bullies Keegan into letting him finishing taking care of his Alpha.
He laughs when Keegan passes up his half-offer-half-joke, ignoring a response in favor of helping them stumble to the nest. He moves Keegan into a better position, moving him onto his side and facing away from Roach, digs his hands into Keegan’s back. Keegan’s back is a mess of knots and Roach keeps pushing him until he’s flat on his stomach, then Roach climbs on top of him.
For a good long while he works out as much of Keegan’s body as he can, layering his soft hands into heavy presses of his palm. Rolling out any tension he can find, until Keegan is actually just a puddle underneath him, warm and pliant. “I like you like this,” Roach tells him, leaning over to kiss at the back of his neck. “All relaxed and easy.”
Rolls off of Keegan and turns his head up to give him a real kiss. “Gonna take you up on that offer in the morning. If you’re still feeling lazy, maybe you let me do all the work, give you a show.” His legs will hate him, after the workout he did today, but there’s something appealing about a half-asleep Keegan looking up at him with lidded eyes, hands barely holding on as Roach takes what he wants. Roach shivers at the fantasy, sliding down the bed and getting comfortable.
Keegan whimpers at him, like he’s half caught between sleep and actually trying to take him up on that. “Go to sleep, Alpha, I’ll still be here in the morning.”
Keegan grumbles, but accepts the kiss and is asleep before it even ends.
-
Simon holds onto Johnny a little tighter. It’s easy to see. You offer him an inch, Johnny will take a mile of rough road. Regrets that he can’t help that more. Presses a kiss to his neck. “M’sorry. I’m here for you now. Know it’s- awful. Funerals. Always feel like the thermostat is turned way up. And for giving you shit in Chicago. I don’t drink often. Hate being slow.”
Gently guides them out of the shower and shuts the water off, getting them both towels. “I don’t always know when it’s about to happen. It’s- when there’s something bad, you don’t need to worry. It’s when it starts to get better. Or- if it’s a lot of bad shit all at once, like this. It’ll be when you look at me, and see more Ghost than Simon. You help. But unless you want to go a lot harder than we have before I don’t know if you can stop it. Like during the heat, I’m not going to ask you to hurt me just to make me feel better. If it doesn’t do anything for you, it won’t help me.”
Simon pokes at Johnny’s bandages making sure they’re all still solid, and goes to find them comfortable clothes. Sweats at least. They manage to get dressed and into bed. Simon needs to take down the nest at some point, but one more night is okay.
“You can ask the medic- for my tells. I don’t recognize it until it’s happening, and once it’s going. Stopping it just makes it worse. I’ve got- a lot of tattoo designs. So it should just be that. If it isn’t- I’m sorry in advance.” Simon hasn’t touched a knife in a while. But he’s thought about them.
-
Johnny allows Simon to lead him out of the shower, feeling a little like one of their towels wrung dry. It took, a lot, for him to admit that, and he’s thankful that Simon just said his piece about it and moved on. If he focuses too long on himself he’ll wind up in a spiral of self hatred.
He listens, understands, moves with Simon as he picks out comfortable clothes. “Simon, you know I’m a kinky bastard. You know that if it’s not real pain that I’m okay with it. I don’t like to see you hurt , but there’s a difference between real pain and bedroom pain. We can find a balance.”
Dresses in the soft clothes that Simon picked, and pulls him into the nest. “We’ll work on it, okay? Figuring out what makes you go off the edge and seeing if we can spot the signs. I won’t make you- stop tattooing, but please- if you think it’s going to go past that. Tell me, so I can get you somewhere safe. To Keegan if I’m not enough. Whatever helps.”
They move, curling into the nest, Simon tucked into his neck. “We can do this more, maybe make share hour a regular thing. So that we don’t let things build. I won’t be- good at it, at first. Maybe you won’t be either. But I think it would help, both of us.”
It’s not much longer after that, that Johnny drifts. Sleep pulling him.
Chapter 6: Shakin' Off The Rust
Summary:
Title from The Blue Stones
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
When Keegan wakes up, he’s on his back, sprawled over the bed and breath caught in a moan. Cracks an eye open to see Roach leaning over him, one hand slowly stroking his cock.
“ Fuck- Good morning Mate.” Keegan leans up, melting into a slow and lazy kiss. Barely any effort on his part.
Roach looks like he’s discovered something new and interesting. Green eyes sharp and calculating.
Keegan whines at him. “C’mon I’m awake- let me.”
Roach shakes his head, swinging over and sitting on Keegan’s lap. He has enough brainpower to process naked Omega and the scent of slick. Keegan moans again, hands coming up to rest on Roach’s hips.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, wanna take pictures of you, keep ‘em forever. Show you how perfect you are.”
Roach grinds down on him, and Keegan is going to beg. “Please? I love you- be so good for you, fill you up like I always do. Wanna see it- the way you look when you’re fucking yourself on my cock like a pretty little Mate should.”
-
Roach wakes first, eager and more than a little horny. He tests his legs, finds that they’re fucking sore but- he wants.
Slowly, so he doesn’t wake his sleeping Mate, he strips out of his clothes, pulling his boxers down and off and setting a hand on himself for just a second. He’s already hard, just thinking about this, and quickly he refocuses on Keegan.
He keeps his touches light, dragging over Keegan’s cock and delighting in the way he grows in his hand. Can smell his own slick in the air, leans in closer to Keegan’s face and increases pressure on his strokes. Gets a front row seat to when Keegan wakes, leaning down to kiss him for finally getting with the program.
Roach loves it, the way the kiss is still all sleepy soft, even as Keegan’s hips shift up into the touch. “Morning,” he offers. Keegan whines, actually whines at him, and Roach feels something a little possessive, a little feral, rise in his chest. Shakes his head, Keegan can stay right where he is.
When he swings his leg over to straddle Keegan, he sees the confused look until his Mate scents the air. Smells him. Moans, light and still deep with sleep, hands moving up to hold him. Touch still light, like his limbs aren’t quite caught up to the fact that he’s awake. Keegan starts to talk, drawl deep and Roach teases, dragging himself back and forth, letting Keegan feel the slick that’s building.
The idea of pictures has him interested. Distracted for a moment. He almost loses the plot when Keegan begs him, calling him pretty, offering to fill him up like only Keegan can.
“Not yet,” Roach tells him, dragging a little harder, shuddering when Keegan’s eyes flutter at the sensation. “I’ll put on a show, but that means you can’t touch.” Keegan tilts his head, confused, and Roach pulls the hands off of his hips and shifts them up, until they’re on the bed above Keegan’s head. “I’ll be pretty for you, take you so well, fuck myself on your cock, but you can’t touch.” Keegan’s entire body shudders, breath hitching. “Think you can do that, be my good boy?”
He answers with a nod, like he can’t speak and Roach smirks, sits up just enough, and sinks down onto Keegan’s cock. Roach didn’t prep, so it’s a tight fit, burning in just the right way. Keegan moans again, hands clenching into fists, and Roach finds his voice. “God you’re so fucking big, never know how you fit,” slides down another inch and feels like the air is being punched out of him. “Take you so well, don’t I? Go on baby, you can’t touch but I wanna hear you talk. You know what your voice does to me.”
-
When Johnny wakes, the first thing he does is study a sleeping Simon’s tattoo. It’s beautiful, detailed and clean. It’s a work of art. Suddenly, Johnny wants Simon to tattoo him as well. Waits for those eyes to flutter open and then jumps. “Do you want to tattoo me, I remember you offering to carve your name into me. That offer still stand?”
Simon wakes up and can feel the eyes on him, knows it’s Johnny and grumbles at him. Trying to open his eyes and process all of those words.
“Yeah- big old ‘property of Simon’ right over your ass. But if you let me wake up- I drew some things for you already. Show you.” Yawning and rolling, pinning Johnny to the bed with his body weight, just barely setting his teeth to his claiming marks. They haven’t started to fade yet, haven’t gotten the chance and Simon doesn’t want them too.
“Could do these. Would hurt, way out of regs. But we could do them somewhere else. Bite you anywhere you want, and make it permanent. My teeth, my hands holding the needle, mark you as mine.” It’s a little flare up of the possessive intent, but not aimed at anyone. He’s not saying it because he wants to scare people away from Johnny, he’s saying it because he wants to show he’s owned.
It’s not a huge difference, but it’s there. Simon leans back and kisses Johnny’s nose, watching him go a little cross eyed.
“Also- I can feel you watching me sleep. You’re the only person in the world that gets away with it. You get away with a lot. I like your idea- sharing hour. And I have something in mind. You call your family today, talk to them, make sure Callum took his ass home or I’m hitting him again. And I’ll tell you why meeting him freaked me out. Besides the whole, realization that I hadn’t bothered to ask about your family thing. Deal?”
-
Keegan twists his wrists, so his palms are facing the sheets and he won’t be tempted to reach out. He can do this. Let Roach use him and play with him. Has had this fantasy before. Roach flips the roles on him, calling Keegan a good boy and it scrambles his already sleep addled brain. Can’t do anything but nod and shake, light tremors up and down his body. Watching as Roach leans up, and sinks back down.
His eyes roll back in his head. It’s so good. Like he’s been teased for minutes and minutes, even though he’s only been awake for a few. The tight wet heat, and the total lack of control. Manages to find words when Roach bottoms out.
“Pretty little blush, like you didn’t just work yourself back on my cock like you owned it. You do. It’s yours. S’fucking hot. You just taking what you want like I’m your little toy. You’d like that wouldn’t you. Maybe next time you should tie me up.” Keegan flexes his fingers, his arms, throwing muscles into sharp relief.
“Do anything you want- fuck you’re so tight. Perfect little Omega, my Mate. Show me. You can do it. Wanna see you ride me, touch yourself. Stroke that perfect cock, play with your tits. Anything you want pretty baby.”
-
Johnny smiles when Simon jokes and then rolls over to set teeth to his neck. It’s not as possessive as before, so he lets himself enjoy it instead of trying to prove anything.
Then Simon offers to tattoo his teeth on Johnny’s neck and he goes a little dizzy with it. Doesn’t give a flying fuck about regs- since when do those even really apply to them? It’s not like he’s going to go to a different unit. The 141 is it for him, and he highly doubts Price gives a shit. Thinks about where he’d want it instead, if not on his neck, over his gland.
His collarbone, maybe, low enough to cover but high enough to be understood. It would be painful, right on the bone, but he wouldn’t care. Not at all. Maybe his thigh, private for them, so everytime Simon’s got Johnny’s cock in his mouth then can both see it, right there on display. Gets torn out of that thought by the possessive intent rising in the air. It’s got a different undertone, less desperate and more loving. It’s a huge step in the right direction for them.
“I like watching you sleep,” he admits. “Seeing you asleep, safe and happy, does something to me I can’t even begin to explain. Makes my Alpha go all gooey and soft.” Emphasizes that with a kiss, and rolls so he’s sitting up and holding onto Simon, cradling him almost in his lap.
“Deal, shower, chow and then I’ll make my phone call? They’re on the same time as us so I don’t want to interrupt the pup’s breakfast or anything.” Simon agrees and Johnny drags him into the shower. They go back and forth on who is taking care of who and it makes Johnny feel soft and boneless, falling back into something so familiar when their world has been torn apart and barely put back together.
-
Roach is trying so hard to stay in control here, almost regrets letting Keegan talk. His voice, little tendrils of Alpha running through it mixing with that deep country accent, set him on fire. It makes him want to get on his knees and beg instead of the other way around. Can’t do anything but grind down onto Keegan’s lap, emphasizing just how deep Keegan is inside of him as Keegan lights him up with praise and encouragement, dirty and filthy things slipping in between.
Keegan offers to be tied up the next time, flexing his arms to show off, and Roach can almost see the ropes there, pressing red lines into unmarked skin. It makes him want to bite , leaving his imprints on Keegan just like his Mate has on his neck.
He would fight the instructions to touch himself, and maybe he will next time, but seeing Keegan like this- at his mercy, is already so much. As he lifts himself up, relishing the slow drag, he also slides his hand up to his chest, rolling them over his nipples and smirking when Keegan’s gaze snaps to them like he’s been drug in by a magnet.
Roach teases himself with little movements, rolling the buds in his fingers until he’s almost all the way off, then he slams back down. Keegan’s hands clench so hard they turn white and his eyes roll back into his head for just a second. Roach moans, still playing with himself, and then does it again. Keegan’s eyes peek open to watch, and he feels so on display, stretched out for his Alpha in the best way. Repeats his movements. Slow on the rise, hard and fast on the fall. Does that until Keegan’s hips are rolling, ever so slightly into him, desperately seeking out friction.
“Aw, Alpha, what’s wrong. Pretty little thing like me feels too good? Can’t stop yourself from trying to get more?” Keegan actually whimpers, like Roach is killing him with his words. Roach picks up his pace, giving up the slow and fast for a medium speed, keeping it steady. Moves his hands from his chest to his cock, stroking himself in time with the movement of his legs. They’re burning, a reminder of the miles he ran, but it’s still good. He’ll draw out this teasing until his Alpha cracks- until it’s too much and he just takes or his legs give out.
Roach wants to see just how much control Keegan actually has.
-
Simon gets it. He watches Johnny sleep for the same reason. The shower feels like the first step into being normal. It’s soft and loving, both of them taking turns being cared for. After they’re out and dried off, Simon pulls his jeans on and steals one of Johnny’s hoodies. It’s old, soft, and warm. Well loved, and even freshly washed Simon can smell Johnny on it, and hints of their bond. He can feel how soft that makes Johnny feel in the bond and smirks.
“Keep it in your pants, I want breakfast.”
Johnny complains the whole way to chow about Simon being a thief of clothes, and bullying him. Simon’s laughing out loud when they walk in. It’s still early, the chow hall’s mostly empty except for the cooks. And Price. Simon sends his Mate through the food line and goes to sit right next to Price, dragging his wrist over the captain’s shoulder.
“Don’t make it weird. I shouldn’t have tried to blame you- for any of it. And I know you probably kept Keegan and Johnny from turning each other into roadkill.”
Price nods, and leans his shoulder into Simon’s a little. It helps Simon relax even more. Captain, Pack Alpha, both roles critical to the team and the Pack. Simon had felt a little guilty, about undermining Price’s authority, and opening the door to the challenges. But- they’re okay.
When they’re done eating, Simon taps his boot into Johnny’s. “Want me with you? Or I can go help Price with his paperwork.”
-
Keegan can feel the eyes on his neck, the intent way Roach stares for a second. Tips his chin up. Not a submission, but an invitation. Any mark Roach wants to leave on his skin is welcome and wanted.
He tries, he really does, to just lay back and let Roach take him. But the drowsiness is burning off under the fire of how fucking good it feels. Can’t stop the little movement of his hips, thrusting up just to meet the slam of Roach’s hips.
“You feel like fucking heaven. Always want more. Could spend hours like this- days with you on top of me and I’d want more. You feel it too, don’t you. Like puzzle pieces fitting together.” Keegan snaps his hips up a little sharper, dragging a moan out of both of their mouths.
“I was made for you. Keep you so fucking full you won’t ever remember what it’s like without me.” Digging his hands further into the pillow behind his head, waiting until the right moment- there. Roach slamming down, whimpering, hand stroking his cock just like Keegan told him too. Keegan grins at him, can feel how near feral it is, and pushes up. As deep as he can be in his Mate, holding it there. Roach’s free hand lands on his chest, nails scraping against skin.
“I won’t touch, but don’t think I won’t fuck you. The second you get tired, start to slow down, I’ll be there, and I won’t stop until you come so hard you forget your name.”
-
Falling back into normal , Johnny teases Simon on the way to the chow hall for stealing his clothes. They’re both pointedly ignoring the fact that Johnny loves when Simon wears his things, the way that sometimes they’re too small and cling to Simon in the best way. Not these though, these hang like soft blankets over his skin, comfortable and warm. His Omega is safe surrounded by Johnny’s scent.
Simon makes a beeline for Price and Johnny fills his role by going to get his Mate food. The line isn’t long but by the time he’s showing up Price and Simon are swirling with Pack scent and the Pack Alpha no longer looks like he’s being gutted every time he looks at Simon. He eats and makes sure that Simon does, too, eyes lingering on the spot where he knows there’s a fresh tattoo hidden behind clothes.
“You’re good to go, Gaz and I are supposed to get into some explosives today. Figured we could round that out- maybe give you some time with Keegan?” Johnny knows they have a lot to talk about and he’s being very calm about it. He and Keegan connected, but there’s still a lingering feel of protection in his brain when he thinks of Simon away from him. He knows it’s the echoes of the fresh re-bonding, claiming instincts still wanting to keep his Omega all to himself, but he’s trying to do better than he did the first time.
-
Roach can’t help but shudder out a moan when Keegan fucks up into him, following the rules by not touching, but proving that he can still make Roach feel good. Keegan’s practically feral under Roach, teeth on display and scent pushing like a physical force. He drowns in the smell of desire and intent, the rolling pleasure off of his Alpha.
“I can feel it,” Roach admits, because he can. Every thrust of Keegan up into him is another layer of them settling in his bones, his instincts, his very soul. He picks up the pace, meeting that heightened energy, feeling his legs burn with the effort. “Was made for you, to take you like this. It’s never been this good- never been this fucking full.”
He hiccups out a whine when Keegan leverages himself harder, really fucking up into Roach now, stealing some of his willpower to keep this role reversal going. Keegan would make it so good, would roll him over, press his face into the pillow, and fuck him so hard he forget anything except the press of his cock and knot. But- he doesn’t want to give up this power yet.
So he leans down, changing the angle and slipping his hand up. Roach curls it around Keegan’s jaw so it doesn’t bump his face as he leans down. Then, before Keegan can say anything, Roach sinks his teeth into the offered skin of Keegan’s throat, right over his scent gland.
Ghost had told him once, what it felt like to return the claim, the white hot bolt of possession that racketing his instincts and his entire body. Roach didn’t understand then. He does now.
For one moment, Roach feels like an Alpha, something dark and hot and feral shooting through his body, fast like an airstrike but deep like a nuclear bomb. He’s barely got his teeth in before the closest thing to a growl rips out of his chest, muffled by Keegan’s skin in his mouth. Pulls back and snarls, “ mine .” Presses his closed teeth back into the spot and feels the mark there.
Hands land on his hips, and the next thing Roach knows he’s flipped over, staring up at Keegan, eyes drowned by the pupil and his own teeth open in show. Keegan’s still buried as deep as he can go in Roach, never letting his Mate feel empty for a second and Roach smirks up at him, feeling alive . “Good Alpha, gonna take me now? Fill me up, give me your knot, breed me ?”
Roach only has a second to register the way Keegan’s scent changes at that, sharpening like a knife, before his Alpha rearranges his entire world.
-
Simon raises an eyebrow. If Johnny’s determined to be fine about it then- he should probably talk to Keegan. Stands up and taps his knuckles on the table in front of his Mate. “Phone. Don’t blow yourself up. Don’t blow Gaz up. I’ll take the old man here to the gym, before he starts disintegrating in front of our eyes. If the idiot shows up I’ll talk to him.”
Weighs his options and remembers they’re being honest. “Probably throw him around the room a little, for old time’s sake. He makes a horrible squeaky toy noise when he gets the wind knocked out of him. Makes me laugh.”
Price jabs his fingers into the back of Simon’s knee and Simon swears at him. Nearly starting a sparring match right here when Gaz appears, dropping down into the table like it personally offended him and yawning massively.
Quick goodbyes, and the two officers actually manage to make it to the gym. Starting a circuit workout. Simon shoots Roach a text of where they are, and an offer to bring Keegan. Correcting Prices form just to be a dick.
“That’s why your joints hurt-”
“-if I wanted to be sassed by my subordinates I’d have brought Gaz-”
The bickering and the workout do wonders for Simon’s overall mood. Endorphin rush and a good burn in his muscles. Looking up when the door opens and Roach bounds through it. Keegan’s a second behind and Simon nods at him. Welcoming him into the space.
Once they’re done here, Simon will give him an opening. They’re the only ones left that have anything to lay down and go over. As far as he knows at least. There might be some lingering issues between Roach and Johnny, and the situation they were forced into. Simon shakes that thought away, and loads the squat bar with enough weight to make Price swear at him.
-
About half of Keegan’s brain clocks the fuck out when Roach claims him. Keegan’s entire being focuses on it for a split second. The rasping growl, and mine echoing in his brain. Imbedding themselves so deep in his memory it feels like part of his core personality is shifting to match.
The second bite flips a switch. Keegan rolls them, hands firm to make sure he doesn’t slide out even a millimeter. Can feel the way he’s throwing Alpha intent into the room and the bond. And his perfect Mate just fucking smirks.
“Good Alpha.” Keegan preens for a second, but Roach keeps talking. Of course he’s gonna fill him up, the knot’s a fucking given, he-
Breed. Things go a bit hazy. Keegan leans down, putting another claiming bite on his Mate’s neck, opposite of the bond mark, and growls. Low, promising. Shifting just enough to set his teeth to Roach’s shoulder, and pulling back. Slamming his hips forward. Hard. A ragged pleading whine rips into the air and Keegan smirks. Leaning up and sliding one hand into soft curls. Repeats that same slow pull out, hard thrust in. Each time he gets to hear that same begging whine, going a little out of his mind with it. His voice is gravelly and fucked out, Alpha tone loud in his own ears.
“Of course I am Omega. Get you good and bred, you’re mine. ” That does it. Roach going so tight around his swelling knot they come in almost the same second. The growl that rips out of Keegan as he fills his Mate up is something he’s never heard from himself. Their eyes stay locked, green meeting gray. As soon as he can think coherently Keegan kisses him.
“Fuck darlin. Good morning to you too.”
-
Johnny leaves the chow hall and calls his parents. There’s a flurry of Scottish noises on the other end, loud from his mother, more subdued from his father. When it’s settled down, he tells them everything.
How the Alpha he told them about wasn’t actually one, and how the man is now his Mate. Lets that roll around with them for a long moment. Explains just enough, not about the lack of suppressors, or the bond break, but about Simon and their newly formed Pack. About the family he’s made for himself here. His mother is overjoyed, already jumping to pups and wedding bells and will he take the MacTavish name ?
Johnny answers honestly, that he doesn’t know, that they haven’t really discussed anything. That they’re both still Soldiers with dangerous lives and that pups aren’t in the plan- yet. His father speaks, a sentence of support and love, and then his gran threatens him, with her cane in unsavory places, if he doesn’t bring his Omega around.
Afterwards, he calls his sister. The pups are done with breakfast and she spends a good long moment yelling at him for not calling more often. Then explains that Callum told her a little, that he had to help on something outside his wheelhouse to help Johnny, yells at him for dragging Callum into something dangerous and then, very softly, asks if he’s okay. Johnny cries a little, tells her more than his parents. About how without Callum it’s likely his Mate would be dead. Apologizes for any bruising he might have, explains that his Mate is strong and determined and didn’t much like how Callum had to save him, even if he was grateful for it.
By the end they’re both crying a little, and she congratulates him on his bonding, expresses that she, too, would like to meet the man who stole her bother’s heart. He promises to try, to visit between missions, but reminds her that he doesn’t have much of a choice.
The training with Gaz is mostly a blur, he does his job but he’s stuck on longing, loneliness for how much he misses his family. They return back and find everyone in the training room, mostly just talking, whatever happened made the Pack bond scent in the air thicken and Johnny relaxes with it. Looks at Simon and tilts his head. He’s emotionally drained, and is ready for Simon to hold up his end of the deal, to talk about why Callum made him so antsy and maybe see about picking out what tattoo he wants to put on Johnny’s skin.
-
Roach whines when Keegan layers his own claiming bite onto his neck, the bond implodes, sparking out that possessive intent and love, strong and hot. Fire in his veins. After that, Roach falls into Keegan. Every brush of teeth and lips, the hard thrusts followed by the dragging pull, over and over again. Roach is so close he can taste it, grinding down on his teeth as each snap of Keegan’s hips pulls a whine out from him.
Keegan’s knot is expanding out and it’s another sensation on top of all the other, he’s almost there- right on the fucking edge and then- gonna get you good and bred, you’re mine. Roach wails as he comes, orgasm ripping out of him, clenching down around Keegan’s knot as it fully expands, locking them in. He can feel his Mate filling him, determined to drown him in it, honor his claim. He never takes his eyes off of his Alpha’s watches the way they flutter with every spurt, every fresh wave filling him more and more.
It feels like forever before he comes back into himself, leaning up to kiss Keegan back with the full force of everything he has in him. Smiles at the fucked out way Keegan greets him.
“Fuck, wish we could start every morning like that.” Roach shifts his hips, moaning when it twists Keegan’s knot inside him, feels another pulse of release. “Shit- how do you have anything left ?”
Keegan flushes dark red and nips at his nose, chastizing him. “That determined to pup me, huh Alpha?” It’s meant to tease, but he feels the staticky way the bond goes sharp with intent. “Oh fuck- you- you really want that don’t you?”
-
Keegan can’t help the growl there. “Of course I do. Fuck. Wanna see if gray eyes go with freckles, or your curls and my color.” Lowers his tone, they’re still locked together, he’s half out of an orgasm, but makes it filthy anyways.
“Wanna see you with a little bump, and know I put it there. Filled you so good we made something together. Feel you all soft and warm.” Drags his hand down, resting lightly on the skin, where he’s still inside of his Mate. “Right here. There’d be so many new things, in your scent, how sensitive you’d get. Darlin- you opened this door and now I’m never letting it go.”
Makes his next kiss soft and sweet. “And we’ll get that. I promise. After we handle things here, we’re fucking off. Buy a big old house with the other two, with room for the whole Pack. See if I can learn how to make pancakes without burning the kitchen down. We’re gonna have that.”
The mention of pancakes gets Roach’s attention further, both of them aware that they just woke up and spent a lot of energy already. Keegan laughs. “Okay. Let my knot go down, we’ll go shower, and find chow-”
Roach’s phone chimes and Keegan glares at it for a second. It’s like- just barely seven am.
-
Roach can smell the want in the air, overpowering the scent of slick and come, rising higher than even the possessiveness that they both just threw out. He flushes red as Keegan talks, can’t help but follow along with the mental images. Him, with Keegan’s pups , raising a family together. Gray eyes and curly hair, green ones with dark fringe.
It’s a different kind of claim, of possession, and Roach’s mind spins with it. Keegan presses down on Roach’s stomach where his cock is still buried deep and he goes a little out of his mind with it. “I want that, too. Pups and a house, and Pack .” Now that the idea is there he’s never letting it go.
But the promise of food is strong, and his phone is chiming from the table, pulling them out of those fantasies. No, not fantasies. Those promises.
He manages to get his phone and sighs. “It’s Ghost, we’re being asked to come to the training room,” he whines when Keegan pulls out. Empty. Keegan lifts him up and tosses the phone on the bed, dragging Roach to the bathroom. Roach lets him, eyes landing on the cut of teeth on Keegan’s neck as he’s dutifully washed like normal, can’t help but press his fingers to it when they’re dressed and ready to leave. “Mine,” he whispers, smiling when Keegan repeats it back to him.
Breakfast is quick, too many pancakes as usual, and before he knows it he’s walking hand in hand into the training room with Keegan. Coming face to face with their fearless Captain face first in the mats, held there by Ghost.
“Damn, what did we miss?”
-
Simon had really planned on just lifting weights but there was a comment from Price about him not sparring lately, must be going soft and he proceeds to throw the captain into every mat in the place.
He’s holding a pin, about to start lecturing on being careful what you wish for, you old fuck, when Roach and Keegan walk in. Simon shakes his head. “Teaching an old dog new tricks. You wanna try?”
Roach lights up like he’s been handed a shiny wrapped present and Price threatens all sorts of paperwork. Simon ignores them both, sliding out of the hold and getting out of the way as Roach comes flying in.
Simon gestures at a free sparring area and Keegan nods, visibly bracing himself.
“Warm up Keegs. I’ll wait.”
Keegan snorts. “Warmed up before I got here.”
Simon side eyes him, notices the claiming bites on his neck. “Gross. I didn’t ask for details. ”
Keegan rolls his eyes, and throws the first punch. Simon falls into the rhythm automatically. Sparring with Keegan is easy. They move the same, hits don’t even land, counter blows meet air. Like it used to, it devolves into play.
Simon breaks the silence first. “I’m sorry. I’ve apologized to Roach, but not to you. You knew what you were getting into, better than anyone else could have, when you made me fight. But after- I took a lot of it out on your Mate, and then you had to sit there and put us all back together, and go fight it out with Soap.”
A nod, acknowledgement, and a flashy kick from Keegan. They fall back into the easy game of almost hitting each other before Keegan speaks. “I used you as a weapon. I thought Soap was dead and was fully prepared to bury him our way. But I needed you, to get Roach. I know I’m not the first, and I’m sorry for it.”
Simon considers it, he’d been fucking mad about it too- but. It worked out. Might not have if Keegan had made any other choice there. If he’d let Simon lay down and die, let the bond shock take him, Johnny wouldn’t have been far behind. None of the Pack would have been able to give him a reason to keep going, and Simon both loves and hates that.
He dives over a leg sweep, and turns it into a full front flip just because he can. Because he knows Keegan won’t strike his unprotected back.
“Fucking show off.”
“Some of us aren’t boring.”
That comment makes it devolve further, until they’re not even pretending to hit each other, just pulling out the nonsense moves soldiers think about in their off time. Trading apologies and forgiveness in the pauses between. They end up dropped on their backs, both out of breath, but finally back to friends. In a low voice Simon tells Keegan that he’d noticed, even dead asleep, the Pack bond trying to grab him, prepared to apologize if it hurt to have and lose in the same second.
Keegan’s voice goes a little shaky, and awed that it even happened. That it’s still possible. Simon’s heart breaks, they’d fucked up this entire process, waiting too long to tell Keegan he could join them, and now, no one bothered to mention that he’d get to stay. Simon, slow and careful, rolls his wrist, and brushes it against Keegan’s. Holding it there. It’ll fade with time, without the Pack bond actually pulling Keegan in, but it’s a temporary mark.
Roach lands on them both, scent happy and laughing. Simon digs his Pack Omega’s elbow out of his ribs and offers Price a half apologetic shrug. Price glares, a little, and then throws his scent. Pack Alpha, claiming a member. Keegan goes all sorts of soft and misty eyed at that.
By the time Johnny and Gaz walk into the training room the Pack scent is so thick Simon couldn’t smell his way through a paper bag. Offers his Mate a smile, and nods at the door. He can feel how much that phone call had drained his Mate, the aching homesick feeling Simon only knows when Johnny leaves the room.
“Alright heathens. We’ll see you all for breakfast tomorrow.” Gets to his feet and starts making his way to Johnny. Lowers his voice. “Lets grab food, go back to our room.”
-
While Keegan and Ghost show off like only two people of their skill level and sass can, Roach distracts himself with picking up where Ghost left off with Price. It’s easy, to fall back into training, getting back into the motions of repetitive movements and simple moves. Price and him aren’t trying to show off like the other two. Roach is content with that, leaning into instinct.
Then, when Price is nice and complacent, he strikes. Lashing out quick and fast, he drags Price into a headlock, spinning him around and solidifying the hold. Price sputters something indignant and goes to fight. Roach keeps himself level and refuses to budge an inch until Price is tapping out.
Roach cackles out a bit of laughter and then prepares for something real Price comes at him like he knew he would, all bravado and macho Alpha. Returning fire. Roach sidesteps it, using his smaller stature to rip out of the hold and fly across the mat. It’s a move Ghost taught him, that had been used against him before, and it works perfectly.
“Jesus son, should call you fucking cheetah and not roach.”
“Well, hurry up then, old man. Move any slower and I’ll have to help you fill out your retirement packet.”
Price crosses his arms, mustache quivering. “What is with everyone giving me shit today?I am not old .”
Roach laughs again, feeling light and free. “Older than us, Sir. Gonna start researching retirement homes at the first gray hair.”
That earns him a true tackle from the Captain and Roach rolls with it, letting the Alpha pin him. “There he is, now we can go for real.”
They go back and forth until Roach peeks over and sees his Alpha and Ghost laying on the ground, breathing hard. There’s a little bit of sadness in the bond, but it’s overshadowed by awe and family so Roach knows it isn’t anything serious.
He launches himself at Ghost and Keegan, determined to break the tension, smells Pack on Keegan’s skin and knows Ghost scented him. Then Price sends out his own claiming scent, as Pack Alpha it’s stronger, longer lasting. Keegan looks like he might cry and Roach leans down to brush a kiss across his cheek. When Gaz and Soap show, they break apart and Roach drags Keegan back to their room. Throws his arms around him as soon as the door is closed and holds him tight.
“I told you that you were still welcome. Maybe next time listen to your Mate yeah?” There’s some hitching of Keegan’s breath and Roach holds him tighter. “Cry it out, if you need to. Whatever you need to do. But I am so happy for you, and I’m here to support you however I can. Okay?”
-
Johnny laces his fingers in Simon’s and dutifully follows him to the chow hall They both grab to-go trays and it’s a true testament to how out of it Johnny is when he lets Simon make his own tray. He feels like he’s watching himself from an outside point of view, just floating wherever Simon guides him.
He feels a little more settled in his skin when they cross the threshold of the den. The nest is still made and Johnny falls face first into it, food abandoned. He rubs his face into the sheets that smell like bond and Mate. He stays there, pressed into the sheets until a soft hand slides across his shoulders. Johnny turns to see Simon. “Sorry, I’m just- not quite in my head right now.”
Simon makes a face like he understands and then sits on the bed. “If you’re hungry, eat, please. I just- need some time to- just exist. Then we can talk, okay?”
-
Keegan slowly slides down, pulling Roach with him, until he is on his ass, curled around his Mate. His Mate. Clears his throat and tries to speak.
“I didn’t think I’d ever get this. I used to dream about you- dream about going to sleep with someone in my arms, and wake up with them still there. Every time something happened, part of me would always say, ‘can’t wait to tell my Mate about this’. Got thrown off a camels back, and was still spitting sand when I knew I wanted to tell you that story. But I didn’t know if I’d ever find you. And then- the Ghosts came so close to being a Pack. Just didn’t have the balance. Two Betas, brothers. Alpha captain, me, and Riley. Ajax was the only Omega, and then he died. And Riley said no. Figured that was it. No Mate, no Pack. Just be fucking useful for as long as I could.”
Keegan still has his face buried in Roach’s neck, tears soaking his shirt. “Then I met you. Looked at you before I even noticed the Lt. behind me. As much as it yanked us around, I’m so fucking grateful for the imprint. Never would have been so bold with you if it hadn’t been there shoving my stupid nose in it. I get you. And you- fuck. You let me be. I don’t feel like I’m less of an Alpha for keeping my instincts down, but at the same time, don’t feel like I have to as much. And the Pack- I’ve never had a family before. Figures Riley would be the one to start it but Price-”
Keegan’s throat feels like its swelling shut. His dad had been awful. Bad enough that when he talked about him, Riley had gone ice cold and offered stories of his own. Price’s claiming scent, felt like a chance to look up to another Alpha without being afraid. Keegan tries to fight it, tries to stay strong, but Roach’s hand sliding up the back of his head, petting through his hair- he breaks. Sobbing, quiet, because that’s how he’d had to cry as a kid.
-
Simon knows Johnny’s not really with him. So he guides them through the chow line with purpose. Sandwiches, fruit cups, chips. Fuck all for nutritional value, but things that will hold until his Alpha is ready for them.
Knows he made the right choice when Johnny drops into the nest like he’s going to live there for the rest of his life. Sets their trays off to the side and leans over him, rubbing soothing circles into his back. Hums softly when Johnny asks for a minute. And sits down. The Ghost in his brain is telling him to sit between his sergeant and the door. The Omega slaps it down. Simon slides into the nest, letting Johnny have the door side. And talks. Low and soft. Tells him how he met Price, the whole story. How he’d fought it, not wanting another team, not wanting more people to lose.
Circles back, tells him about Hesh, Logan, Merrick, and Ajax. Ajax’s name burns. But he tells Johnny about him anyways. How much Roach reminds him of Ajax. The same quick wit, and sass. The differences. Ajax wasn’t scared of Alphas ever. Would go toe to toe with them for fun. How funny it was, to see Ajax scream down Keegan, or Merrick. Two Alphas with the strongest instincts.
How eventually Simon had broken down, explained his secret, the reasons why. Ajax’s fierce fucking protection. And that not even a full day after that, he’d died. The almost Pack falling to pieces.
He’d promised to tell Johnny about Callum, the bond shock and the pup issue. And he will, once Johnny’s aware enough to hear it. But Simon can offer more. By the time he’s done talking, his throat is dry, voice soft and raspy. Simon reaches for a water on the bedside table, and drains half of it, offering the rest to Johnny.
-
Roach follows Keegan to the floor, tucking himself into his arms in almost a mirror image of the way they folded into each other that day in the training room. Braced as close as possible, only Keegan isn’t hesitant this time, instead he’s holding onto Roach like he’ll float away if he lets go. Roach just presses closer and listens.
He knows exactly what Keegan means, the awful feeling of not good enough, of never finding somewhere or someone to call home. Wishes, that they had met sooner. For selfish reasons of course, less people would have hurt him if he had met Keegan before, but also for Keegan. Wishes he could have given him this taste of home earlier.
Roach…never let himself hope, always assumed that pain and loss and hurt would be his forever. The little scraps of good he got felt like all his would ever have. So to get someone like Keegan, soft and gentle, perfect and sweet, feels like a dream come true. Doesn’t know most of the names that Keegan offers up, knows they’re important, Keegan’s almost Pack, but doesn’t have anything concrete to rely on.
Feels his heart break when Keegan describes the loss. Remembers what Keegan had told him, that he was just the man who filled roles, who stepped into the places where he needed to be. Hopes that that isn’t true for him anymore, that he understand his place here, next to Roach, but also soon- in the Pack.
Once more, he’s happy to hear Keegan speak so positively about their Imprint, lingering fear that this isn’t what he wanted never really going away as much as Roach tried to make it. Feels his heart soar when he talks about Roach giving him the opportunity to express his own instincts. That was something else he mentioned, the first time he saw Roach’s nest, that he was happy that Roach was so in tune with his instincts, that he was jealous of that and wanted someone who would let him let his own out. He’s thrilled that he’s been able to be that person for Keeegan.
Keegan starts to sob when he talks about Pack and Roach throws his scent, filling it with love and comfort and safety, trying to imitate the emotions that Keegan had thrown out the first time they were in this position. His hand slides up into Keegan’s hair, petting softly and trying to offer more comfort and sweetness. Pushes his neck into Keegan and concentrates hard. For a moment nothing happens, and then- just like before, the stuttering car engine purr starts up in his chest.
If anything, Keegan cries harder, fingers twisting in Roach shirt, but the bond is nothing but love and relief. A feeling of home rolling between them. Roach plans on holding himself there until Keegan decides he doesn’t want to be there anymore, purring as steady as he can in this intimate moment.
-
Johnny is so fucking thanful that Simon seems to know what he needs. He doesn’t push or try to pull Johnny out of it, doesn’t make him feel small or dumb. Instead, perfect fucking Mate that he is, talks to him.
It’s the first time he’s hearing any of this. Listens as best he can as Simon describes how he met Price, the wariness, the distrust. The way he pushed and pushed and pushed, and the way the Captain just kept pulling him back in every time he tried to get away. A lot like the way Simon was with him, pushing himself away just to have Johnny pull him back in.
Focuses a little harder when Simon mentions his old team. The Ghosts. More pieces of the past, names that get filled in with stories he’s half heard. Tall tales that aren’t so tall afterall. He wants to meet these people, the almost-Pack that he knew. Hesh, Logan, Merrick, Ajax, all people that his Mate spent so much time with. Family before Simon was ready to have that again. Simon tells him more about Ajax than any other the others. Relates him to Roach. It sounds like there was a Pack Omega thing going on even though they weren’t Pack. Simon tells him how Ajax was the first person since he started his fake presenting to know his secret, his true identity. How the first person he really trusted since he was broken down to nothing was taken from him less than a day later.
How that was the moment the option of Pack really slipped away for them. With no Omegas, there’s no Pack, no base, no foundation.
Just angry Alphas and scent blind Betas.
By the time Simon’s voice is coming out raw, he feels more like he can think, like he’s a person and not just a walking corpse. He slides up the bed, tucking his face into Simon’s neck. “Thank you, for telling me all that. Sorry- I don’t know why I’m so- blegh. But I’m here now, back in my own head.” He presses a soft kiss to Simon’s neck. “Are you ready to keep going, or- are you out of words for the night?”
-
Keegan’s almost got it under control, trying to bottle all of that back up. When Roach purrs. It sends him right back down into that overwhelmed place of homeMatelovesafehome. Keegan cries until his throat aches, and his eyes burn. Knows they’ve been there a while by the numb feeling in his legs, and automatically shifts his Mate in his arms to make sure he’s off the goddamn floor and comfortable.
His voice is awful when he talks. “Thank you- needed to do that. Probably for a while now. I love you.” Keegan clears his throat, and groans when that doesn’t help. Slowly shifts, so they’re looking at each other. There’s still a faint rumble of a purr in the room, softer now that Keegan’s not trying to shove his entire face into Roach’s neck. Keegan leans in, planting a gentle kiss on Roach’s lips.
“I need to get you off the floor. And shower- I’m all gross from trying to one up the Lt.” Now that he’s done with the crying, everything in his brain is telling him to comfort, preen, protect. It’s not his most graceful move, but he gets them to their feet. Roach mostly still in his arms. It’s a slow shuffle to the bathroom, and out of their clothes. But the hot water helps. He’s not super talkative during the process. Quieter than normal. Roach is soft and pliant with it, letting Keegan linger on his hair, and doesn’t even make his usual joke when Keegan kneels to wash his skin.
Guiding them back to the nest, drying off quickly. Offering Roach his hoodie, the one with all of the past he’d just spilled on the floor connected to it. Keegan shoves his legs into the first pair of boxers he grabs and collapses into the nest. Not- sleepy. Just done.
-
Simon’s still gentle, but he bops Johnny on the nose. “Because- it was too much. You called your family today. And instead of just your sister, or just your parents. You probably called them all, and unloaded a years worth of stuff all at once. Because sometimes love, you’re a little bit like me.”
Tucking him a little tighter to his neck, letting the roles reverse for a minute. Johnny, curled up and pressed to his scent gland. Some corner of Simon’s brain preens that it’s the one with the bonding mark. Simon informs his brain that it’s not time to be horny.
“I felt you die. Now I know what it feels like. I- feel it sometimes. For a second. Blink too long, and it’s there. Like an echo. And then Callum walks into the room- and I know why now but- he layered so many Commands into my brain I wasn’t even walking with my own permission. And you hugged him. Like I said. I know why. But I didn’t then. Got hit with a whole lot of-” Simon wants to make some edits to that just a bit. “Bad. Omega screaming that you-” fuck there’s really no way around it.
“Felt like you didn’t want to fight for me. You’d seen how fucked up I was about it and then you hugged him. Which wasn’t great- and then I found out why. The second you said ‘pregnant Mate’ I got hit with an echo. Because I know what it feels like when you die, and we didn’t get to have that.”
Simon presses a kiss to Johnny’s hair, dragging his nose through it where it’s growing long. Focuses on that for a little bit. “S’probably why the second you left me alone for longer than five minutes I picked up the tattoo gun.”
-
Roach wants to tell Keegan not to thank him, recognizes that it isn’t the time. That Keegan just needs to get it out. So he lets him, holds him while he cries, allows Keegan to lift him up and move him wherever he wants, still offering up his purr as best he can. Even as it starts to fade. Keegan’s face is red and splotchy from the crying and Roach wants to wipe away the streak of tears on his face. Doesn’t. Knows that sometimes someone calling attention to it makes it worse. Kisses his cheek in a middle ground.
The shower is subdued, quiet, but not uneasy. The weight of everything has slid off of Keegan’s shoulders but in it’s place is a bone deep tiredness. Still, Keegan washes his hair, taking care of him like a good Alpha, his perfect Mate. Makes sure that he’s dry and dressed in clean clothes, soft and comfortable. Gets Roach into his nest and then collapses into it. Keegan’s eye are still open, not droopy with sleep, so Roach pulls him in, so they’re face to face, foreheads touching.
“I love you,” he offers up into the soft space between them. “Forever.”
He stays there, in that comfort and safety, until he can’t keep his eyes open any longer.
-
Keegan whispers it back. “Love you forever darlin.”
Waits until Roach slips into sleep, green eyes disappearing. And pulls him closer. Tangling their limbs together, one of Keegan’s knees between Roach’s. Buries his nose in curly hair and lets sleep take him.
-
Johnny scrunches his nose when Simon boops him, settling a bit when Simon tells him what he already knows. That he bottles it up, lets it out fast and hard, leaving him worn and torn. He’s trying to be better, but it’s hard to stop something he’s done his entire life. Settles into Simon’s embrace, not caring that his Omega is taking care of him, enjoying the comfort that that brings him. His Omega is strong, this is okay.
The echo of the bond drop is something he’s felt, but it’s muted. Buried under the knowledge that it wasn’t a true break. Johnny always knew that Simon was still alive. Hates himself that he never thought Simon would feel it, too.
Hates himself a little more when he sees his interaction with Callum through his Mate’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he speaks the words into Simon’s neck. “I never- never know when I’m hurting you. Accidentally or not. And all I can do is say sorry. Reassure you that I’d fight for you, no matter what. If there really was a threat, I’d do anything for you.” Presses in even harder, breathing in their bonding scent, imagines it with a sweeter undertone. “All I can do is promise you- that I’m here and that- future is still ours. I want that, with you.”
He slides his hands over Simon’s stomach, pressing across it. “Pups, with your hair and my eyes. A family , Simon. Our family.” Simon starts to shake and Johnny pulls back, sitting up to look at him. “I’m sorry- I- I’m making it worse aren’t I?”
-
Simon laughs, tears in his eyes. “You- no. You’re not making it worse. But you never stopped to consider if you don’t notice things because I don’t want you to. You didn’t notice, while Callum was there because I didn’t want you to. Don’t feel bad because I’m good at hiding. Spent most of my life hiding. I don’t- always mean to. Sometimes sure. I’ll bury something before it even touches the bond. Sometimes it just happens.”
Turns his head to kiss Johnny’s hair again, grounding himself in the bonding scent and the hand still laying on his stomach like a promise. “I have spent my entire life in my own head. I don’t know everything that’s going to hurt me. Didn’t expect that. Probably won’t expect the next one. But it- I hate when it upsets you. I know you’re sorry. Knew if you caught even a little bit of it, you’d turn and focus on me. Could see- once you stopped being mad at him, how happy you were to see him.”
Simon takes a deep breath. “I
want
that with you. Wanna see if that sunshine personality is genetic, or if a tiny pup can copy my little nose scrunch. Terrified of it. Family thing didn’t go well the first time, Ghost team fell apart, our
bond
got taken, this Pack nearly got torn to shreds over it. I want to go, meet your family. I’m scared out of my mind that it’s contagious.”
Simon pulls back just enough to drag his hands over his face. “God I am rambling. Stop me. Please.”
-
Johnny leans into every touch Simon gives him. “I don’t want to stop you. I want to know everything.” He pushes up to press a kiss to his mouth. “We- skipped a lot of steps. I bonded you right away. You were my Lt., a fucking Alpha, I wasn’t even sure you liked me at first.” He shifts them, rolling so Simon is on top of him. “I don’t even know your favorite color.”
Simon opens his mouth to tell him just that and Johnny shushes him. “Tell me in a minute, okay? You’re it for me, forever, but this whole thing moved faster than either one of us thought it would. And I’m okay with that, wouldn’t change a fucking thing about it. But- it means we missed the ‘getting to know you’ stuff. The first date questions, the awkward moments that lead to stories about pasts. Meeting the parents.”
He reaches up and cups Simon’s face. “I want to have those moments with you, a little bit backwards but does it matter? I want to know every piece of you, the things you’re willing to give me. Good and bad, pretty and ugly, things that make me laugh and make me cry. I want to know Simon, I want to know Riley, I want to know Ghost, and someday- I want to know everything. And in turn, I want to give you that back.”
-
Simon turns his head slightly, pressing a kiss into Johnny’s hand. Dropping his head back down to rest on his Mate’s chest. “My favorite color is blue. I like laying here cause I can hear your heartbeat. We can take share hour, and make it date night. Get takeout trays from the mess, and go somewhere else on base. There’s a sniper range I’m fond of, and I know you favor one grenade range over the other. We do that. Everything’s moving fast because of who we are and what we do. But we can make it work. Our way. Pretend to be surprised- but I didn’t exactly do a lot of dating.”
Johnny’s chest shakes with a poorly suppressed laugh and Simon bites him for it. Gently. “It’s easier for me if you just ask. Give me a place to start, and I’ll tell you more than you expect. But you have to meet me. I’ve got a lot of bad shit, and if you just take I’ll shut down. I can’t give you everything. Meeting my parents involves a lot of one sided conversation.”
Simon yawns, surprised by it. Grumbles when Johnny shifts them and actually gets a blanket over them. “It was faster for you. I loved you in a shitty truck on a back road in Mexico. Liked you right away. Figured either you were insane, or a gift from god when you ran up to me and touched me like it wasn’t a big deal. But I’m tired, and you feel tired. So. We’ve got the rest of our lives. We don’t have to get into it all right now.”
There’s a soft noise, the bedside light turning off. And a soft hand on his hair. Simon drifts off to sleep easily.
-
Over the next few weeks the team goes through their paces, working with the new dynamics of Keegan and Roach’s bond, along with recovering from various injuries. All the while, Laswell’s team works night and day hunting down intel leads and parsing through everything they found in that fucked up hospital.
Their patience, or lack thereof, pays off.
They’re back in the briefing room. Every member of the team has been cleared by medical. Soap and Ghost back stable in their bond, Keegan and Roach in theirs. It’s time. Kate clears her throat, puts a slide up on the big screen and gets right into it.
“We’ve located Shepard.”
Notes:
Random: this chapter literally ends right where part four starts so if you like the way that this was written more than the original part three if you really wanted to you can interchange these two parts. Instead of Looking For A Fight, you can read The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same or if you like this one less you can keep the original part three where it is.
The main point here, is that this ending will feel “open ended“ but that’s because it’s not its own separate AU, and is more just a rewrite of part three.
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Last Edited Wed 24 May 2023 04:58PM UTC
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disastroussoap on Chapter 4 Wed 24 May 2023 07:48PM UTC
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Amonkira on Chapter 4 Wed 24 May 2023 08:29PM UTC
Last Edited Thu 25 May 2023 02:09PM UTC
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Senayen on Chapter 4 Sun 04 Jun 2023 09:05PM UTC
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RandomWordsAndStormyDays on Chapter 5 Sat 27 May 2023 03:14PM UTC
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RandomWordsAndStormyDays on Chapter 5 Sat 27 May 2023 03:59PM UTC
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miss_anxiety on Chapter 5 Sat 27 May 2023 03:39PM UTC
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RandomWordsAndStormyDays on Chapter 5 Sat 27 May 2023 04:08PM UTC
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miss_anxiety on Chapter 5 Sat 27 May 2023 05:04PM UTC
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insomniamemoirs on Chapter 5 Fri 02 Jun 2023 06:03PM UTC
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disastroussoap on Chapter 6 Tue 30 May 2023 02:49PM UTC
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