Work Text:
“What’s up, everyone?! Are you guys ready for another Genshin stream today? I know, I know—I promised to pick up Hades again, but I completely forgot that the new Genshin update came out yesterday! Look, look, I promise to play it next week. I’ll fix my schedule around for it, okay? And if I don’t play it next week, I’ll let you guys pick some kind of punishment for me.”
Haknyeon watches as various different kinds of comments come flooding into the chat, laughing out loud at some of the responses he gets. He catches a few of his friend’s usernames, immediately knowing which ones are deciding to participate in the stream tonight.
“Hey, I know some of you!” Haknyeon points towards the camera with a finger, though his eyes are trained on the screen as his character on screen starts to move throughout the open world. “Sunwoo, Eric, Juyeon-hyung… why are you guys even watching? Don’t two of you have a midterm you need to be studying for?”
Eric’s username flashes in the comments sections, a bright blue ‘ERICNOTNAM’ lighting up with several emojis of the middle finger. Haknyeon cackles in response, even as Sunwoo complains at the same time.
ERICNOTNAM: not all of us can be pretty boy streamers hyung!!!!
“Not with that attitude,” Haknyeon retorts, shaking his head. “I mean, you could just do it part-time. No one says you have to do it full time.”
Haknyeon turns his focus onto the screen and the game thing. “Alright guys, looks like I’ll have enough Primogems to actually do the gacha for now! And yes, I know I can buy more if I really want, but I’d rather earn these rolls the good old-fashioned way. Free-to-play is how I manage to save up so much of what I actually make doing this—yes, Eric, I’m talking to you.”
Having some of his friends watch and enjoy the stream is what tends to make them better for Haknyeon. He’s gotten much better at streaming in recent years, especially because of having his friends actually support him in becoming a Twitch streamer. It’s been five years since he started out: broke, down on his luck, and somehow unable to acquire a job no matter how hard he tried. He had started streaming in a last-ditch effort to bring in some kind of cash, even if it was just enough to feed himself, because he was getting tired of constantly relying on his family and or friends to survive.
Thank the gods, or God, or whoever is out there, that one of Haknyeon’s best friends is basically an angel on Earth. Directly from heaven, Haknyeon and the rest of their friend group swear.
Jacob Bae is the man of everyone’s dreams, even to all of Haknyeon’s random viewers on Twitch.
“Haknyeon-ah, do you need anything? I’m going out,” Jacob pokes his head into Haknyeon’s room. He comes just into frame of the stream shot, and Haknyeon’s notices the comments section suddenly explode with emotes, hearts, and key smashes.
He can’t help but laugh, his eyes flickering to his right monitor to see—sure enough, Jacob is now entering the room fully, especially since Haknyeon didn’t actually hear what he had said. He’d heard something muffled, but not the actual words from Jacob. Haknyeon clicks the menu screen with a flick of his finger, reaching up with his other free hand to pull his headphones down and around his neck.
“What’s up, Jake-hyung?”
“I asked if you needed anything. I’m going out to get some stuff, so I figured I’d get anything you’re needing while you’re working.” Jacob’s smile is so soft, as is his voice, and Haknyeon wants to cry about it.
“Oh! Uh, actually, yeah—I have a small list of things. Um… it’s in my room, actually—on my desk, my purple journal? I put all my shopping lists in there—it’s organized by dates, so it should be easy to find. It has a little Klee sticker on the front!”
Jacob laughs quietly and gives a nod. He reaches behind Haknyeon, between his body and the chair, and gently presses his palm between his shoulder blades. It’s a type of comforting move that only Jacob does, and one that Haknyeon would only want to experience from Jacob himself. “Got it. I’ll call if they don’t have what you need, make sure I get something to substitute it with.”
Jacob leans over into Haknyeon’s space a bit, hand still on his back, and smiles towards the audience in the camera. “Nice to see you guys again, too. Be nice to Haknyeon-ah for me, alright?”
Haknyeon watches his viewers go crazy over that. Capslock and key smashes, so many people either yelling Jacob’s name or asking who he is (either because they’re new and haven’t been to Haknyeon’s channel yet, or they’ve been around and haven’t seen a Jacob cameo in any of his streams since joining). Haknyeon calls a “Bye, hyung!” as Jacob leaves, closing the door behind him, and he pulls his headphones back onto his head, adjusting them to fit comfortably again.
“Looks like you guys got lucky this stream! For those of you who are unaware, that was Jacob-hyung. He’s my roommate—one of my best friends in the world, too. Sometimes he pops into my streams for things like that, or if he really needs me to do something for him.” Haknyeon scans the comments, chuckling at a few of them. He squints at a particular comment, leaning forward a bit to read it.
“‘Why doesn’t Jacob actually join you for a stream’? Honestly, Jake-hyung doesn’t have the time. He’s a university student and he already works two jobs. Sometimes he doesn’t even have a day off in the week, so I don’t want to try and take him away from the time that he really needs. Plus, I don’t think he’d really enjoy just… sitting here and watching me play video games all day, haha. I’m not too sure if hyung even likes a lot of video games, or plays them that much.”
A lot of thoughts about Jacob suddenly flood Haknyeon’s mind—he knows quite a lot about him, but he knows that he doesn’t know as much as Jacob’s actual best friend, sir Kevin Moon. Haknyeon is sure that there’s a lot about Jacob, under the surface, that he really doesn’t know about. Which, honestly, is pretty alright. Haknyeon doesn’t want to ever pressure Jacob into telling him his entire life story—they’ve been friends for going on 8 years now, but that doesn’t mean Haknyeon is welcomed inside of Jacob’s safety net.
Realizing he’s been zoning out for a bit now, Haknyeon shakes his head—physically—and grins at the camera. “Anyways, who’s ready to explore Sumeru? Huh? Let’s go!”
Now, Haknyeon has never thought of himself as obvious before. There are times when he, himself, can be rather oblivious, but he wouldn’t categorize himself as ‘obvious’. He tries to be very subtle in the things that he does, especially since he’d started streaming. It’s a lot easier to accidentally doxx yourself or others around you because of talking too much, being too transparent—too obvious. So, Haknyeon has learned to reel it in quite a bit. At least, that’s what he’s thought he’d been learning how to do.
His friends, however, don’t quite agree.
“I think it’s really funny that your fanbase has started to ship you with Jake,” Kevin grins devilishly, fingers linked together like a bridge, and his chin resting on said finger bridge.
Haknyeon squints at him, lips wrapped around his straw, prepared to sip. He stops himself in favour of pulling his cup away, staring into Kevin’s eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m just saying!” Kevin throws his hands up in defense, leaning back into his seat. “The guy you’ve had a crush on for years, literally getting shipped with you because your fans think you’d make a great couple? You would, by the way—make a great couple.”
He hushes Kevin quickly, reaching out and smacking his arm as he looks around the cafe frantically. Haknyeon leans in then, pouting. “Shut up! Could you be any louder about that? Fuck… am I really that obvious about it?”
Kevin laughs, seemingly delighted at Haknyeon’s newfound dilemma. “Oh, Haknyeon, baby. I’ve known about your attraction to Jake before you even knew about it.”
“What? How the hell does that even work?”
“Just trust me, sweetheart.” Kevin pats his cheek, making Haknyeon frown.
“I think I hate you.”
“Does this mean I won’t be invited to the wedding?”
Haknyeon flips him off. “Why are you even gossiping about this with me? Shouldn’t you be… I don’t know, interrogating me or something? Putting me to the test?”
Kevin cackles—legitimately cackles, like a witch would in a movie. “Haknyeon, I’ve been testing you for years. I already know you’d never hurt Jacob on purpose. And if you did hurt him, I think you’d hate yourself so much I’d have to be on your side instead of Jake’s.”
Before Haknyeon can make any retort of some kind, someone approaches the table. Looking up, he sees that it’s Sangyeon and gives the older man a smile. Sangyeon smiles back, before sitting in the seat directly next to Kevin, who promptly yanks the chair even closer to his own, leaning fully into Sangyeon’s side and space. They kiss, so Haknyeon pretends to gag.
“Nice to see you, too, Hak,” Sangyeon laughs as he pulls away, Kevin slotting himself right underneath his chin.
“Ugh, not even thirty seconds into this meet-up and I already feel like such a third wheel.” Despite his words, Haknyeon is smiling, and he knows the couple don’t take any offense to his words.
Kevin just sticks his tongue out, clinging onto Sangyeon’s arm, and their conversation turns into something much more manageable, and not focused on Haknyeon’s disastrous crush on Jacob.
“I’m home, hyung.” Haknyeon shuts the door behind himself gently, bending down to take off his shoes. Jacob doesn’t respond right away, which is fine. He knows that he’s home, anyway, since they texted a bit ago while Haknyeon was on the train back.
When he enters the apartment fully, he sees Jacob tending to his mini-garden by the window. The only reason Jacob has one is because of Kevin’s influence: the guy has a huge green thumb, but sometimes he bites off a bit more than he can chew in terms of being able to take care of plants. Plus, Sangyeon has to tell Kevin when he needs to get rid of a few plants now and then. But, because Kevin is rather sentimental about it all, he ends up giving the plants to Jacob, instead. So now Jacob has a bit of a green thumb, as well.
It’s pretty cute, honestly. Haknyeon doesn’t mind having plants in the house all that much, and he wouldn’t tell Jacob not to keep them when the apartment was Jacob’s first. Haknyeon was the one who had just barged his way in here, after all. (Some days he wonders why Jacob even lets him stay.)
Jacob looks up from tending to the plants and gives Haknyeon a smile, head tilted slightly. “Hey, welcome back. How was meeting with Kevin and Sangyeon-hyung?”
“Unbearably adorable and disgustingly lovey-dovey as usual,” Haknyeon says, shaking out his hair a little. “They’re cute, though, so I guess I can’t really blame them.”
Jacob laughs with a small shake of his own head, his attention turning back to the plants. “Yeah, they tend to do that when they’re together a lot. I’m just glad we don’t have to deal with their yearning anymore—Kevin was so bad, I wanted to strangle him daily.”
“Now that, I can believe. Even Jacob the Angel has to have some kind of limit, huh?” Haknyeon slips up in calling Jacob that—it’s mostly an inside joke between him and his Twitch audience these days, and he’s never mentioned it once to Jacob’s face. Jacob’s eyebrows furrow a bit in confusion as he looks back at Haknyeon, head tilted again, and Haknyeon just laughs nervously as he starts heading down the hallway towards his room. “Um, anyways, I’ve gotta stream in a bit! I’ll make sure to end it before dinner, though!”
He doesn’t hear Jacob’s response as he books it down the hallway to his room, shutting the door a bit loudly. Haknyeon cringes at the sound it makes, sighing as he leans back against it. Man, Haknyeon, can you make yourself look any more like a fool?
Shaking himself out of it, Haknyeon goes to get everything set up for his short stream for the night. It’s not going to be much, just him dicking around in Genshin while clearing the Dailys that are needed and maybe a side quest or two.
“Heeey there, everyone! Welcome in if it’s your first time, or welcome back~ Today’s stream won’t be too long, I’ve gotta make sure to be done before dinner, so everything’s already set up!” Haknyeon proceeds to tell everyone the plan, laughing a bit at how most of them seem disappointed that the stream won’t be longer than about two hours. It’s a little disappointing to Haknyeon, too, but this is one of the days that he and Jacob actually get to have dinner together , and there’s no way he’d miss out on that.
After he’s finished with the Dailys and a side quest, he decides he wants to do a bit of hunting and gathering. “You know, I actually need to go and collect a bunch of Glaze Lilies so I can ascend Yun Jin. I think I’ll go ahead and do that since it’s time for them to be around in game—yeah, they’re pretty hard to find and they can go away pretty quickly if you aren’t there in time.”
While he’s traveling to the right destination, Haknyeon decides to take a look at some of the comments and read them. A certain question catches his eye and makes him laugh, a bit loudly.
xxHnUiMxx: who do u think could make a glaze lily open irl?? cause u know how they say they open for the most beautiful music
“Hmm, who do I think could open a Glaze Lily in real life? I guess we’re counting singing as music then, right?” Haknyeon turns his attention back to the task at hand, making sure that he can find the Glaze Lilies in the game and not miss any. “Honestly, it’d have to be Jacob-hyung. His singing voice is really good. I don’t get to hear him sing a lot, but, when I do—I kind of get lost in his voice. It’s really pretty.” He almost sighs after his words, but glancing at the comments section makes him kick himself mentally for going on such a tangent.
“Um, but I mean, I think both Sangyeon-hyung and Chanhee-hyung would also be able to make them bloom, too! Have you guys heard them sing before? They’re really good, too—”
The damage has already been done, though. Haknyeon realizes this as he sees so many comments of his viewers asking him to ask Jacob to sing for them, and the ugly green monster inside of him wants to tell them all no, that Jacob’s singing should only be for him, not anyone else. He’s so close to making more of a fool out of himself, when he sees a specific username pop up in the chat.
baecob: haknyeonie, dinner’s done :) you can come out now lol
Haknyeon wants to die. Quite literally. He might as well just die on camera right fucking now, because what the hell? How long has Jacob been watching his stream? He doesn’t even remember seeing his username pop up on the list of viewers for it.
“Well guys, Jacob-hyung says dinner is ready so I gotta go!” He laughs somewhat nervously, immediately getting to a Waypoint and making sure to save his progress. “My schedule is posted so don’t forget to check it for my next stream, guys! See you later!”
The stream ends and Haknyeon sort of feels like smashing his head into the wall. He won’t, but he definitely fucking feels like doing it. He might as well have just blurted out that he’s in love with Jacob right then and there, because not many people have actually heard Jacob sing, and his friends all know just how much Haknyeon absolutely loves Jacob’s voice. It’s basically how he confessed his love for the guy to all of their friends, or at least, that’s how all of his friends came to the conclusion of Haknyeon’s crush on Jacob.
Haknyeon shakes himself out of it, mentally preparing himself to go out and just have dinner with the guy.
He feels so royally and utterly fucked right now.
Haknyeon likes to think that he’s rather observant, especially about his friends, and especially about his roommate. Jacob’s always had a bit of an odd schedule, with working two part-time jobs and going to university, but he’s done his best to keep it as consistent and as organized as possible. When things go awry with his schedule, then Jacob tends to lose himself a little. Haknyeon always feels bad when that happens, unable to do much for him except offer a shoulder to cry on, and lend an ear for Jacob to speak to if he needs. So when Jacob quits one of his jobs, but seems to still be out of the house just as often, Haknyeon is not quite sure what to think about it.
Jacob, obviously, can have his own life—he doesn’t owe him anything like that, there’s no need for Haknyeon to be involved in everything about his life. They’re only roommates and friends, after all. They’re not boyfriends. (Even though he knows this, it still creates this odd, empty, hollow feeling within Haknyeon’s chest.)
He tries to put the whole thing out of his mind and focus on streaming, doing his best to not worry over Jacob as much as he usually does, but it proves to be a lot more difficult than Haknyeon would have liked it to be. Even when he’s streaming or playing with his friends online, his mind constantly wanders. It’s been a couple of weeks since Jacob quit his one job, and it’s a little worrisome, because Jacob hasn’t mentioned a thing about needing rent or anything extra from Haknyeon either, and that is what causes Haknyeon the most anxiety.
It’s not like he thinks that Jacob will suddenly up and kick him out of the apartment, but he’s struggling to understand how Jacob is managing to pay for rent and everything else when his two jobs combined were only enough to barely cover everything. And Jacob seems to be getting a lot more packages in the mail lately, though Jacob always tells Haknyeon he doesn’t remember ordering them—it stings when Jacob lies about it to his face, but Haknyeon isn’t sure that he can actually tell Jacob to stop doing that face-to-face.
It gets worse before it gets better.
Jacob stops coming home occasionally, leaving Haknyeon alone at the apartment to wonder just what the hell is up with him, for a few nights at a time. He’s even tried reaching out to Kevin about what could be going on with Jacob, only to receive texts back that say ‘sorry hakkie, idk what’s up w him either :(‘ — and Haknyeon doesn’t blame Kevin, he’s thankful he’s at least trying to reassure Haknyeon’s anxieties and fears, but things would just be better of Jacob had just been communicating with him from the start.
It’s frustrating and upsetting, especially when it interferes with the plans that they’ve kept consistent over the past two years of living together.
One night, Jacob doesn’t show up for their scheduled and planned dinner, and that hurts. Haknyeon tries to wait up for him, but when 2AM rolls around and Jacob is nowhere to be seen, he gives up—turning in for the night. He cries that night, too, face buried into his pillow and hands clutching onto it for dear life. When he regains himself enough, he sniffles softly as he pulls out his phone, rubbing some more tears away as he opens his messages.
to: kevin-hyung
jacob didn’t come home again
and this is the night we /always/ have dinner together
from: kevin-hyung
oh hakkie :( i’m really sorry
i have literally no idea what is wrong with him?? he’s never been like this before
i’ve tried talking to him myself but he won’t tell me a thing
it’s really annoying honestly
to: kevin-hyung
i just wish he’d tell me if he’d come home or not
like is that too fucking much to ask for
i get we’re not like, dating or fucking whatever but we’re still FRIENDS
and we’ve always done this
so why
from: kevin-hyung
oh baby, i know. it’s not fair to you at all
i love jake to death and while he’s usually very smart
he can be a little emotionally inept, especially with his own feelings
to: kevin-hyung
maybe he hates me
maybe he’s finally done with me
i might end up being homeless soon
from: kevin-hyung
don’t say that, haknyeon-ah
jacob could /never/ hurt you, i promise you that
just
when he comes back home, corner him
make him tell you what’s been going on, okay?
i hate that this is hurting you so much
and i want to throttle my own best friend so fucking badly rn
to: kevin-hyung
i’m sorry
thank you hyung
i just
i really miss him kevin hyung
i miss him so much
from: kevin-hyung
i know you do, baby
i miss him, too
Haknyeon sniffs again as he reads Kevin’s messages. He rubs his face against his sleeve before sending Kevin a few heart emojis, receiving a few in return (and one from Sangyeon, who has most likely been told the entire situation from Kevin—Haknyeon is alright with that). He goes to put his phone down, and immediately he hears the front door opening. When he checks the time on his phone’s clock, it reads 2:49AM.
Suddenly, instead of feeling sad, Haknyeon feels angry. He climbs up out of his bed immediately and practically stomps out of his room, right into the living area where Jacob is still taking off his outer wear. Jacob sputters for several moments when he sees Haknyeon—in just his sleeping shirt and boxers, because Haknyeon had been planning on going to bed after talking with Kevin, but now he can’t. He can’t, now that Jacob is home, and not when he feels just so mad at him.
Jacob opens his mouth, but Haknyeon is faster. “You,” Haknyeon jabs his finger right into Jacob’s chest, stepping into the older man’s space. “What the fuck is going on with you?”
Jacob’s face twists up, several different emotions flashing through his eyes, before he carefully reaches up to wrap his hand around Haknyeon’s wrist. This type of touch would normally feel so warm and grounding, but right now, to Haknyeon, it feels like a branding iron—searing and hot and painful. He feels like Jacob is burning him.
“Haknyeon-ah…”
“Don’t,” Haknyeon hisses the word loudly, yanking his hand away from Jacob’s grip. “Don’t use that tone of voice with me. Tell me what the hell has been going on right now, or—” Haknyeon doesn’t even know how to finish his threat, but he’s going to try. “Or I’m going to leave. Right now.”
The expression on Jacob’s face turns into a pained one. Haknyeon feels slightly satisfied with that. “Haknyeon, I’m sorry. Did I worry you tonight? I should have called you and told you I couldn’t make it…”
“Yes, you should have.” Haknyeon frowns deeply, his eyebrows furrowed. “Hyung, what is going on? You’re never home anymore, you never tell me when you’re going to be home at all—do you know how much I’ve been worried about you?” Haknyeon doesn’t want to cry again, but the tears are pricking at his eyes, and he knows his voice is wobbly. “Like, fuck, Jacob, how fucking hard is it to send one goddamn text? Huh? What’s so important that you have to literally ghost me in real life?”
Jacob tries to speak again, Haknyeon can see his mouth move to do so, but Haknyeon needs to let all of this anger out. He doesn’t give Jacob a chance to speak, just continues to vent. “Did you find a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is that it? You know you could have told me about them—fuck, you could have told Kevin-hyung! Not even Kevin-hyung has been able to get you to talk to him, and that worries me so fucking badly. Did I do something to upset you? Is that it? Am—Am I being too much for you, hyung? Do you want me to go? Please, just—tell me what I can do, hyung, because this—all of this, it’s been hurting me so much.”
Haknyeon is crying now, pulling his shirt up to wipe at his eyes. They’re a mixture of angry and sad tears, spilling over and running down his cheeks. Jacob seems to be almost too shocked to say anything for the time being, and Haknyeon feels like laughing, because of course. When he decides to spill his entire heart out to him, of course the guy doesn’t seem to have the decency to fucking react to him. Then, slowly and carefully, Jacob reaches out to him. Haknyeon is too exhausted to stop him, so he lets Jacob wrap his arms around him and pull him into a hug.
It both stings and comforts Haknyeon at the same time. He doesn’t return the gesture, hands fisted into his own T-shirt, as Jacob merely holds him there.
“Haknyeon-ah, I’m so sorry,” Jacob buries his face against his shoulder as he speaks, breathing in deeply. “I never meant to hurt you, I promise that. I could never hate you, either, nor am I tired of you—everything that’s happened has nothing to do with you, and has everything to do with myself. I’ve just been too much of a coward to approach the topic with you, and now…” He lets out a huff of laughter, a quiet sniff coming right after. “Now I’ve gone and really fucked up, haven’t I?”
Haknyeon lets out a soft sob at that. He finally reaches out, arms going around Jacob’s body, as his hands fist themselves into the back of Jacob’s shirt. Haknyeon buries his face against Jacob’s shoulder as well, squeezing his eyes shut.
“I’m really so sorry, Haknyeon-ah.” Jacob squeezes him in his arms. Haknyeon melts slightly, trying to still stand his ground—it’s so hard, though, when it’s Jacob. “I promise to tell you soon, okay? I promise.”
Haknyeon nods against his shoulder, sniffling softly. This isn’t the scenario he had imagined happening, but it’s a start to gaping the problems that have started.
Jacob starts telling him where he is at times now. It’s not every day, but he texts Haknyeon much more often, and is always sure to tell him when he’ll be home, or when he isn’t going to be home. It’s a much better routine than before, but Haknyeon still can’t help but feel as if something else is wrong with Jacob. Their communication has gotten better, but Jacob still seems to be holding himself at a distance.
Haknyeon’s been left in charge of Jacob’s miniature garden as a result. There are a few succulents, a small bed with roses, carnations, tulips, and forget-me-nots, and a tiny little cactus. The cactus is fine on its own; they don’t need a lot of attention, just a lot of sunlight. The other plants and flowers, however, need more attention than Haknyeon had expected. He’s never really been one for gardening—he’s helped Jacob in watering them on occasion, but otherwise, he’s a fish out of water when it comes to the maintenance of them. Whenever Jacob is gone, though, Haknyeon tries his best to take care of them.
Some of the flowers have begun to wilt, though, and Haknyeon feels rather bad about that. He sighs quietly to himself as he runs his fingers along the sagging petals of the forget-me-nots. They’re so pretty in their colour, Haknyeon’s always liked looking at these ones in particular, but now they’re slowly withering away. He wonders if there’s a way to keep them from dying completely, but he supposes that there’s a time for all flowers to go—they can’t live forever, no matter how much Haknyeon would like them to.
Watching them, Haknyeon thinks of Jacob. It’s hard not to do that these days. He plagues Haknyeon’s mind more than he’d like to admit, constantly lingering, to the point where his trains of thoughts always somehow lead back to Jacob. It’s getting to be a little ridiculous, honestly.
Haknyeon knows what the meaning of forget-me-nots is already. Kevin loves plants and flora so much to the point where his seemingly useless knowledge of them all actually comes in handy sometimes. He rubs a petal between the pads of his fingers gently, unable to keep himself from wondering if the forget-me-nots wilting is some kind of sign about his relationships with Jacob or not. He doesn’t want to believe that it is, otherwise he would go into another spiral of emotions, one where he wouldn’t have Jacob around to comfort him about it.
He sighs heavily as he steps away from the window sill, lips pursed. He’s got to stop thinking about Jacob. Shaking his head a bit, Haknyeon waddles towards his bedroom, phone in hand.
Well, if he’s going to try and get his mind off of Jacob, he might as well put his brain to use for something.
Haknyeon settles himself down into his bed just as he opens up Twitter, changing from his main account to his burner account for looking at porn—he doesn’t really use it a lot, but it’s there, and he finds the stuff on Twitter to be better than having to search through endless videos on porn websites. He has a few accounts that he follows and likes, using a lot of their content to help himself get off, and so that’s what he’s going to do.
He scrolls for a few minutes, eyes flicking over the photos and videos that are present on the timeline. Nothing jumps out at him instantly or anything, but he can already feel himself growing needy just by looking—it helps him set the mood for himself, even if it takes another few minutes to find something that fits his mood just right. As he scrolls with one hand, his other hand snakes its way down his body, rubbing slow circles along his hip before it dips inside of his underwear.
He notices that there’s a new account that’s being praised on his feed, by a few other accounts he’s following, and it piques his interest quite a bit. Haknyeon clicks on the profile and immediately feels breathless, his eyes zeroing in on just how pretty this guy is. There’s not a lot of identifying features, for obvious reasons, but this guy’s body is beautiful. Abs that are toned, but not too much, just the right amount in Haknyeon’s opinion. His hands are to die for, veiny in all the right ways, and don’t even get him started on the guy’s dick.
It’s so pretty. Haknyeon’s not even sure if he’s allowed to call dicks pretty, but he’s about to start, because that’s the only way he can describe this guy’s dick. One of the very first posts he sees on the page is recent, from only a day ago. He clicks on it just as he starts to run his fingers over his folds, biting at his lower lip in anticipation.
The guy doesn’t talk in the video—the only sounds are him jerking himself off, and the breathy, airy moans and soft grunts coming from him. It’s only about 20 seconds long, but it’s enough for Haknyeon to feel it. He keeps watching it, eyes transfixed, as he presses his fingers against his clit, a soft whimper leaving his lips. Haknyeon is desperate for more—all of the other posts are merely teasing pictures and videos that are just as short, if not shorter, than the previous one. In his hazy and horny desperation, Haknyeon manages to find the link for the account’s OnlyFans, and Haknyeon is all in.
He clicks it immediately, a small pant leaving him as he presses a finger inside of himself. There are some posts that Haknyeon can see for free, without signing up and giving any money, and all of them are good. They’re nudes, rather than the teasing pictures from the man’s Twitter, and Haknyeon definitely thinks he can get off to this. Still, he wants to hear more of this man’s moans and little noises—when he’s in a better state of mind, and not as horny as he is right now, he’ll debate about whether he should subscribe to the guy’s OnlyFans later.
It only takes a couple of minutes—Haknyeon sets his phone down and closes his eyes, pictures of the mystery man plastered to the backs of his eyelids, as he presses his fingers inside of himself, thrusting them in and out. In these instances, he’s glad that Jacob isn’t home—getting off is a lot easier when he doesn’t have to worry about being quiet because his roommate is in the room barely down the hallway. Haknyeon gasps softly and pushes his fingers deeper inside, moaning loudly, throwing his head back against his pillows.
He’s three fingers deep in himself when he feels his orgasm curling up inside of him, his thighs shaking, his other hand continuously playing with his nipples. He presses his thumb down hard against his clit, fucking his fingers deeper inside of himself, clenching down around them. His entire body spasms when he cums, a loud gasp leaving him as he fucks himself through his high. When he’s finally calmed down from it, Haknyeon sighs out heavily, eyes fluttering closed. He lays there for several moments, before slowly sitting up and reaching over for the wipes on his nightstand—he doesn’t feel like getting up and going to the bathroom at the moment.
Haknyeon cleans himself up slowly, feeling a bit boneless. It had been a while since he’d gotten off, too, so this had been a rather positive experience overall. He forces himself up, though, in order to change his underwear and pull his cover off—he’d forgotten to pull the cover out before all this, so he’ll need to sleep with his spare for the night. When he’s finished settling in for the rest of the night, Haknyeon reaches for his phone, and opens up the account’s OnlyFans once more. He might get turned on again, but it’s fine, he’ll deal with it. As he’s browsing the OnlyFans, thumbs hovering over the ‘Subscribe’ button constantly.
Now that he’s no longer horny out of his mind, he can finally take in the features of the man’s body and the username.
The username is Bear Bae. It’s a bit of a strange name to use, but Haknyeon thinks it’s rather cute, either way. He’s seen weirder names from various streamers before, so it’s not like he can really judge too much.
Eventually, he gives in. He has more than enough money to spare for this, and no one is going to know except for him. When he finishes the subscription process, getting himself access to the rest of the man’s OnlyFans page, he is floored with just how much content is on there. And even more so when he sees some videos that are up to, or over, an hour long.
Oh, Haknyeon is going to have the best time with these videos one day.
He giggles softly to himself, curiously scrolling around his profile once more. There’s still not many identifying features about him—he’s very good at keeping his face out of shots, and even more so in keeping himself from saying any kind of words aside from the occasional cuss word. However, he slips on occasion and will say the cuss words in English. That’s not uncommon, really, but when Haknyeon hears him say “fuck,” voice low yet soft at the same time, the gears in his brain start to turn.
Slowly sitting up in his bed, Haknyeon sets his phone down. His brain slowly works itself up to the realization that he’s seen that body before—not in its entirety, mind you, but the top half? Those abs and that chest? Oh, Haknyeon has seen it alright. Around the apartment when Jacob’s had a day off, or when Jacob’s just gotten out of the shower and only brought his boxers in with him, or when Jacob’s passed out asleep in his bed and is sleeping past his alarm and Haknyeon has to go in to wake him up.
He’s seen it, because the body is Jacob’s.
Haknyeon’s brain sort of breaks at that. His face flushes completely, he feels his entire body growing warm, because the realization hits him like a brick wall: he just got off watching Jacob get off and looking at Jacob’s nudes.
Then, like a tidal wave, another realization hits him, and Haknyeon practically jumps up on his bed on his knees, grabbing his head with his hands. Then, he screams.
Jacob Bae has a fucking OnlyFans account.
Though Jacob has been home for the past few days, not out and about for the time being, Haknyeon avoids him like the plague. He can’t help it—any time he looks at Jacob, all he sees are the pictures and videos from Twitter and OnlyFans, and his brain won’t shut up about them. He gets turned on almost instantly, and it’s bad. Haknyeon is surprised that he can stream as well as he does, with his brain constantly conjuring up the sexy images of Jacob’s body, of his stuttering grunts and precious moans—
Haknyeon groans loudly, dropping his head onto his desk. This is just too much for him. He hasn’t even reached out to Kevin about his discovery, because if Kevin hadn’t known what Jacob was doing recently, then it’s not Haknyeon’s place to just… throw it out there, as much as he wants to get Kevin’s advice on this. He can’t go to Sangyeon, either, because he knows Sangyeon would end up buckling under the pressure of Kevin’s puppy dog eyes and probably be persuaded into telling his boyfriend the secret with a blowjob or something.
It’s just Haknyeon and himself on this matter right now.
And god, does it fucking suck.
Haknyeon is doing his damndest right now, and he’s going to continue that trend. Even if it is extremely difficult to stop thinking about how pretty Jacob is. He sighs deeply, lifting up his head until just his chin is resting against the top of his desk. Why did it have to be so hard? Was life just throwing him a sign when it led him to discovering Jacob’s Twitter and OnlyFans?
To be honest, it’s not even that big of a deal. Haknyeon is an avid supporter of people who want to gain income from using their bodies—he’s said as such on his streams before, and he’d say it again if people need reminding. Haknyeon is more than supportive of Jacob doing this, as long as he’s happy with it and isn’t forcing himself to put on some kind of performance for the sake of creepy people on the internet. He just worries about Jacob’s own mental health, rather than worrying about Jacob doing online sex stuff for money.
“Haknyeon-ah, what do you want for dinner tonight?” Jacob pokes his head into Haknyeon’s room then, watching as Haknyeon turns his head awkwardly on the desk. He chuckles quietly, raising an eyebrow. “Did I catch you at a bad time or something?”
Haknyeon shakes his head a bit, slowly sitting up from the desk. “No, I was just thinking too hard. Uh, I’m not really in the mood for anything specific, so you can just make anything you want, Jacob-hyung.”
Jacob smiles lightly, nodding. He stays there for a second or two, before he ducks his head a little, and shyly asks, “Do you want to help me make dinner, at least?”
Haknyeon wants to say no. He should say no, especially since Jacob in the kitchen is very attractive to him, and he will not be able to keep his mind from constantly traveling to Jacob’s OnlyFans. But, apparently, his mind and his heart are not on the same page, as Haknyeon simply blurts, “Yes, yeah, sure, hyung.”
Seeing Jacob’s relieved smile is enough to make Haknyeon feel a bit less guilty about everything. Only a little, though.
Haknyeon lifts himself out of his chair and shuffles out of his room, following Jacob down the hallway and to the kitchen. Jacob decides to make them some fish and rice, a simple meal that both of them can work on at once. There’s a comfortable silence between them, but only Haknyeon feels like it’s somewhat awkward. He keeps sneaking glances at Jacob, his shoulders somewhat hunched.
For probably the millionth time, he glances towards Jacob, only to see that Jacob is already looking right back at him. Haknyeon stiffens up immediately, his hands frozen in mid-air.
“Haknyeon-ah,” Jacob tilts his head slightly, a small tuft of hair falling between his eyes. “Are you okay? You’re fidgety tonight. And you keep staring at me.” He frowns then, making Haknyeon’s heart squeeze. “Are you… still upset?”
“No!” Haknyeon says it a bit too quickly, enough to startle Jacob a bit. He settles down then, gently shaking his head. “No—no, I promise, Jacob-hyung, I’m not still upset. I just… I’ve got a lot on my mind, I guess, you know?”
Jacob watches him for a long moment, eyes flicking up and down Haknyeon’s entire being, before he nods slowly. “You can talk to me about it, if you need. I know we’re… still working on stuff, but I’m still here for you, Hak.”
With a small smile, Haknyeon nods as well. “I know, hyung. It’s not because I don’t trust you or anything like that—it’s just… a lot, I guess. I–I don’t want to bother you with it.”
“Well… if you’re sure. Just don’t stress yourself out with it too much, okay? You’re the one who was upset about us not communicating well enough.” Jacob’s last sentence is teasing, and Haknyeon can’t help but laugh a little. He is right about that.
They settle back into silence together, finishing with cooking their dinner. They plate everything, and move to sit at the kitchen counter together. They’re not super close, but they’re close enough, Haknyeon being able to lightly bump his knee against Jacob’s with a slight giggle. Jacob smiles in his direction, head shaking slightly, before he ducks his head in towards his chest. It’s nice, seeing Jacob calm and relaxed and soft like this. Haknyeon wishes he could see him like this more often.
He turns to stare down at his plate, picking at the last bits of food. Well—he hadn’t planned on telling Jacob anything, but he feels like now is a better time than never.
“Jacob-hyung,” Haknyeon starts softly, glancing over when he feels Jacob’s gaze on him. “I… I sort of, kind of, accidentally came across your NSFW Twitter and OnlyFans?” He rushes the words out in one breath, unable to stop himself, his heart beginning to pick up speed in his chest.
Jacob is utterly silent, and when Haknyeon turns his head a bit to look at him, he sees it’s because Jacob’s entire face is red. He’s so flushed, cheeks and ears a deep red, and he can see in Jacob’s eyes that he’s having a bit of a crisis. Haknyeon sits up in his chair and turns to face Jacob better, reaching a hand out—he hesitates briefly, though, before he gently places his hand over Jacob’s knee.
“Hyung, I’m okay with it.” He says the words slowly, locking eyes with Jacob, trying to convey how sincere he is about it. “I’m really, really okay with it. I just want to ask if… if that’s why you stay out of the house so much, because of the OnlyFans.”
There’s still silence from the older man, but Haknyeon isn’t going to force him to talk or anything. He waits patiently, pulling his hand back to rest it in his lap, watching Jacob carefully. Jacob slowly turns his head away, burying his face into his hand for several moments. After a minute or so of silence, Jacob lets out a slow, soft sigh. Then he nods.
“Yes,” Jacob’s voice is so small and fragile. There’s a part of Haknyeon that even regrets bringing this up and asking now. “I… I was really worried about how you would react to it, and I really… was too embarrassed to ask you permission to do all of that here at the apartment. Especially since I would do it at times that clashed with your streams, I didn’t want to… accidentally be too loud… or anything…” As Jacob speaks, his face seems to grow even redder—he’s so shy and awkward about this, it makes Haknyeon’s heart squeeze a little.
“Hyung, I honestly don’t care. You can do whatever the hell you want—you’re a grown man! And this is, technically, your apartment. I just live here because you let me live here. Make money with your body for all I care—you’re really hot, you know, so I mean, I’m not even surprised you’re already so popular. I’m actually a little jealous, I sort of wish I had that kind of c—”
“Wait,” Jacob holds his hand up in front of Haknyeon’s mouth, so Haknyeon snaps his mouth shut immediately. “You think I’m really hot?”
Haknyeon’s ears burn. He pouts then, glowering at the older man over his hand. “Really? Is that the only thing you took away from my entire speech?”
Jacob’s smiling now, almost grinning, like he’s teasing Haknyeon. “I mean, kind of? I was listening, I promise, but I just… really? You think I’m hot?”
Haknyeon takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out through his nose. Absolutely nothing is planning on going his way tonight, is it? Jacob is lucky, apparently—he’s going to get two confessions in one night.
“Yes, hyung,” Haknyeon grabs Jacob’s hand and lowers it from in front of his face. “I think you’re hot. Really, very hot. I have for years.”
Jacob’s gaze feels gentle, but it’s also intense. He narrows them towards Haknyeon, looking him up and down for a moment, and Haknyeon watches as the corners of his lips pull up into a smirk. “When you found my account, were you looking for something to get off to?”
Haknyeon sucks in a sharp breath, squeezing his eyes shut all of a sudden. His heart starts pounding in his chest, and he knows his cheeks are red now. Slowly, he nods, and he hears Jacob chuckling. Haknyeon opens his eyes again, only to let out a small squeak—Jacob is suddenly so close to him, the tips of their noses practically brushing together now as Jacob stares into his eyes.
“Haknyeon-ah,” Jacob’s breath fans out over Haknyeon’s lips. He starts to breathe a little faster, his head starting to spin slightly. “Haknyeon-ah, tell me. Do you like me, hm?”
A small shiver goes right through Haknyeon’s body at the tone of Jacob’s voice. He squeezes his eyes shut again, unable to keep eye contact at the moment. Swallowing, Haknyeon slowly nods, his fingers twitching against his thighs.
There’s a small tut as Jacob clicks his tongue. “You have to use your words, little one.”
Haknyeon tries to not whimper, he really does, but one slips out of him anyways. “Yes, hyung,” he whispers softly, eyes slowly fluttering back open. “I like you so much, hyung.”
It’s quiet for a few moments after that. Haknyeon isn’t quite sure what he had been expecting, but it’s not for Jacob to pull them both to stand from their chair and hug him. His grip on Haknyeon is tight, his hands pressing against Haknyeon’s back as he presses their bodies together. Haknyeon breathes out a breath that he wasn’t aware he had been holding in, slowly lifting his arms to return the hug. He grabs onto Jacob’s shoulders, feet shuffling himself a bit closer into the older man, before he feels Jacob’s head moving.
Haknyeon opens his eyes and watches Jacob watching him. They stare at each other for several long moments. Carefully, Jacob pulls one of his hands back and reaches up, cupping Haknyeon’s cheek with it. Haknyeon leans into the warm touch, eyelashes fluttering as he enjoys the closeness.
Another thing Haknyeon isn’t expecting is Jacob kissing him. It seems to happen so quickly, despite the fact that Jacob leans in so slowly, giving Haknyeon ample time to pull away or tell him no if he had really wanted to. Their lips meet, and Haknyeon’s heart soars in his chest. He grips onto Jacob’s shoulders harder, a quiet noise leaving the back of his throat. He doesn’t notice that he’s crying until Jacob is pulling away, rubbing his thumb under Haknyeon’s eye, trying to shush him gently. Haknyeon makes another wounded sound before Jacob is gently kissing him again.
“I like you too, Haknyeon-ah. I like you so much.” Jacob’s voice is so sincere, Haknyeon can just feel it. He thumbs away Haknyeon’s tears, leaning in to kiss away the rest of the tears on the other side of his face. “I’m so sorry I made this so complicated for us. I should have just been honest with you. I’m glad it didn’t make you feel any different about me, though.”
Haknyeon sniffs quietly, letting go of one of his shoulders in order to rub his eyes, giving the other a small smile. “Hyung, nothing could ever change how I feel about you. Even when you were hiding it from me, I still felt this way. I love you, hyung. And, yeah, it might be weird, but I genuinely do not care if you have an OnlyFans. I mean, hell, if you wanted, I’d literally join you in making content.” He’s half joking when he says, a light laugh leaving him.
However, Jacob’s eyes narrow at Haknyeon’s words. His pupils begin dilating as his hands make their way to Haknyeon’s waist, squeezing his hips once there. “Yeah? You’d wanna join me in making sex videos for the internet?”
Haknyeon pretends to think, briefly looking away as he tilts his head slowly from side to side. He reaches his hands up then, hooking them around Jacob’s neck as a grin slowly spreads across his lips. “I already sell my soul by playing Genshin Impact for the sake of the internet. Letting people watch you fuck me isn’t exactly a huge deal, if I’m being honest.”
Jacob laughs, loud and bright, eyes crinkling as he squeezes Haknyeon’s hips again. “You’re cute, Haknyeon-ah.”
The forget-me-nots have stopped wilting.
Haknyeon doesn’t know what convinced them to keep themselves going, but he likes to think that it’s him and Jacob, and their newly found relationship. He looks at the window sill and sees them blooming beautifully, accompanied by the other flowers in the flower bed. It soothes him, honestly, and he hopes that these flowers will continue to last. (He’ll have to replace them eventually, he knows, but a boy has wistful thinking, okay?)
When their friends found out they’re dating, several of had been were ecstatic . Kevin merely told Changmin, Eric, and Sunwoo to “pay up,” meanwhile Juyeon, Younghoon, and Chanhee congratulated them. Sangyeon had even pulled Jacob aside and given him a shovel talk—quickly followed by Kevin giving Jacob a shovel talk about dating Haknyeon, as well. It had been pretty funny to witness, honestly, but he had thanked both of them for wanting to protect him like that.
It’s equally as funny when they have to explain to everyone that they’re running an OnlyFans account together. Kevin and Chanhee, for one, aren’t surprised at all. The youngest ones of them are, and even Hyunjae seems a little shocked that Jacob of all people would actually want to start and be on one of those accounts.
“It’s pretty hot,” Haknyeon comments, causing Jacob’s ears to turn pink.
“Haknyeon,” Jacob warns lowly. Haknyeon just grins, shrugging a shoulder.
“What? I’m just telling the truth.”
Jacob shakes his head, sighing quietly, affectionate. Their hands link together between their seats as the conversation continues around the table.
When Haknyeon’s audience finds out about him and Jacob dating, it’s a pretty big deal. He gets a few articles written about him, several journalists and interviewers reaching out to him to confirm the fact that yes, he is, indeed, dating one Jacob Bae. Haknyeon has always known his fanbase has been pretty sizeable, but he hadn’t realized that it had grown so much over the past couple of years—seeing the way the news of his dating life spread like wildfire was insane.
People were mad, people were theatrically sad about missing out on shooting their shot, and people were genuinely happy about the two of them becoming boyfriends. He saw fanart floating around, saw that his fans had created a shipping name for them, and even got them trending on Twitter for three days straight.
To say that Haknyeon feels a little bit like a celebrity is somewhat of an understatement. He hadn’t expected things to blow up so hugely, and he says as much to Jacob, who just smiles at him and presses a kiss to the corner of his lips.
“Oh, I expected this,” Jacob says, running his fingers through Haknyeon’s hair. “I always saw how well your streams did, even for the ones that weren’t Genshin. You’re a star, baby, I’ve always known it.”
Haknyeon would purr if he was able to, grinning wide as he arches his head up into Jacob’s touch, eyes twinkling. “You think so, hyung?”
“Mhmm,” Jacob chuckles as he leans down, pressing a kiss against Haknyeon’s lips. “Another reason I was worried about the whole OnlyFans thing. I didn’t want your fans to end up finding out about it and ruining your career or anything…”
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Haknyeon waves a hand as he gently leans away from Jacob, turning back to his monitors. “I’ll just tell them all we run an account together. It’s fine.”
Jacob chokes on air, patting his chest as Haknyeon laughs in victory. He gets scolded after that, Jacob telling him he absolutely should not tell his fans that they run a sexual OnlyFans account together, but Haknyeon thinks it’s a little worth it.
He’ll make sure to tell them some day. Probably after he and Jacob have gotten their fill of making that kind of content.