Chapter Text
Nothing Regulus had ever experienced prepared him for the type of ice-piercing coldness that quickly settled deep within his bones. It was unlike the sharp humidity of the Slytherin dorms, distinct from the glacial wind that crossed the halls of Grimmauld Place. It was a more permanent type of cold, but he could no longer tell if it came from the potion he had to drink earlier to switch the lockets or from all the water that had already stored itself in his lungs as he sunk further down.
For how long was he sinking he could not tell. An eternity extending itself endlessly in what couldn’t be more than mere seconds, he figured. He did not know how long it took for someone to drown. Nonetheless, some semblance of light could still be seen right at the top of the lake, coming from the dimly lit cave, so he couldn’t be that far down yet.
He struggled once more, vainly. The bone-white fingers tearing at his clothes still had him firmly in their clutches. They had not subsided when he was fighting with all he got, adrenaline-fuelled despite his thoughts being dulled by the effects of the jaded potion – physical pain, a trip through his worst moments and unforgiving thirst. Now – after being submerged and the initial panic and terror being quickly replaced by a sort of brew-induced numbness – his chances of escaping were an impossibility. He was aware of that, but still, he couldn’t help but try and get free.
The locket was safe. Kreacher would take care of it, destroy it as he had ordered him to. If he had been given the chance, he would have kept looking for the rest of the Horcruxes, shattering every single one he could, for as long as he was able to outsmart the Dark Lord. But his change of heart had come too late, the only redemption he was worthy of was this – a barely managed attempt at one single Horcrux. It would have to suffice.
That was not what still bothered him, why his legs still kicked and his arms stretched towards the surface while his vision blurred. His regret was in the shape of a familiar face. Well, two if he was being honest with himself. It was in the shape of words of apology he would not be able to speak to either of them – but mostly to his brother.
“Why should I care about a single word you have to say to me? You left me. Don’t start acting like you care now.” Those couldn’t have been the last words they exchanged. Regulus deeply wished to believe that the last words Sirius would ever hear from his mouth were something else, no matter how trivial, but the last thing he could remember was the conversation they had when his brother found out the dark mark that tainted his left forearm. “You left me behind to fend for myself. To compensate for your actions and for the disappointment our parents felt in you. What do you think would happen? This mark that you despise so much is but the inevitable result of every decision you have recklessly made without stopping to think for once how that would impact me. You chose your safety and your precious friends over me, your little brother, Sirius. I did what I had to do to survive. Now save me the speech.”
It had been cruel, but his hurt and anger left space for little less. And yet, now all he wanted was to see Sirius one last time. He wanted that warmth and safety he felt when, while his parents were fighting against each other downstairs with screams that threatened to add cracks to the old walls, Regulus would crawl into his brother’s open arms and snuggle against his chest, like a protective spell of their own design. As if while they held on to each other as tightly as humanly possible, they were concealed from their reality. As if their parent’s wrath would not turn against them in the aftermath and could not force itself between them. But it did. Placed on opposing sides of the chessboard for so long, no longer aligned, but light years away.
Those moments had been left in their childhood hours, but strangely enough, Regulus felt like a little child at that moment. His wish now wasn’t very different either. He wanted to be saved. He wanted to be saved by his brother.
“Sirius…” the word escaped his lips, but could not translate into sound, muffled by the gurgling water. If summoning spells could work by will alone, perhaps all wasn’t lost.
The light that Regulus could see further and further away suddenly became more intense like it was being set ablaze. How cliché to actually see a light at the end of the tunnel while at death’s door. Although perhaps it was not a light, but a sun. His own sun. Scratch that, what an even worse possibility. It mattered not, he could not keep his eyes open any longer.
Darkness engulfed him and there was nothing.
And then there was a familiar warmth.