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Fear.
That was all Jey had known for a long time. Fear of Roman, fear for Jimmy, fear both for and of Solo. Today was no different, however, the fear he felt today was all-encompassing. As he glanced at his twin brother, his day one, sitting in the driver's seat of a rental they'd quickly booked since they were now without a way of travel, he couldn't stop his mind from racing.
Why'd you do that?
He's going to kill you.
I can't-
"Aye Uce, what's up?" Jimmy asked, pulling Jey out of his thoughts.
"I'm good," Jey said, pulling his eyes away to stare out in front of him instead. He was quickly brought back by a light tap on his arm.
"You can't lie to me Uce, remember?" There was a smile in Jimmy's voice which quickly faded when he saw his brother's face. He sighed. "I'm not sorry, you know. About Roman." He elaborated at Jey's confused look. Jey had to suppress a wince at the name. A part of him knew it had to happen. A part of him knew it was going to happen soon. But another part of him;
"I know, Uce. It's just. You know? That's-" Roman, he didn't say. Big Uce. Basically our older brother. Leader of the family.
Jey cut himself off with a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. He felt like he hadn't stopped moving in weeks, a constant ball of nerves and nowhere to place the extra energy.
"He ain't though, is he?" Jimmy said, hearing everything Jey didn't say, as he always does. "He's not him, not anymore. I don't know who he is now, but that ain't the man we grew up with."
Jey picked at his nail nervously, absently nodding at what Jimmy was saying. He was right, of course. Jey knew that. But fear enveloped him. He knew exactly what rebelling against Roman entailed, and despite his best efforts to shield Jimmy from that type of pain, he knew it was coming.
"I ain't dumb, you know?" Jimmy continued, getting Jey's attention once again. "I know he manipulated you using me. I tried to ignore it for the family, I did, but I gotta protect you too. I gotta do what we deserve."
"He's gonna kill us, Uce," Jey muttered, anxiety lacing his every word despite his best efforts.
"Let him try, man! We're the best in the world, and we got each other. He can't do a damn thing."
"He's got Solo too." Jey continued, his breath quickening as he kept thinking. Solo and Jimmy, his two brothers, the two who he swore to protect, the two who he went through hell to protect. And yet, the feeling of failure surrounded him. He hadn't protected either of them. His two brothers, Jimmy, who went to war for him when kids in school made fun of him, and Solo, who he held through nightmares when no one else noticed, two men who were now at the disposal of a deeply paranoid and incredibly dangerous Roman Reigns. If only-
"Jey, you gotta breathe, Uce," Jimmy said with concern, now fully facing him in a car that had apparently parked when Jey wasn't paying attention. Jey noticed his jittering and his quickened breath and tried to stop, but his racing thoughts remained. Jimmy, sensing this, reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "Talk to me man, how can I help?"
"I don't- I don't know, Uce," Jey forced the words out despite the effort it took. The two had been in this position many times throughout their lives, and Jey knew talking Jimmy through his thoughts was always the best solution. "I just- he's got Solo and you know he's gonna be pissed at you now and I know what it's like to be standing across from him and it's bad man. I tried to protect you both and now I can't and-" Jey cut himself off with a frustrated groan, the words getting stuck in his throat as he struggled to catch his breath.
"Aye, you know all that should never have fallen onto you. And I'm sorry, yeah, that you felt like you had to put yourself through all that to protect us. I should have protected us sooner, and I'm sorry I didn't, aight? But you don't gotta do it no more. We're gonna be okay, Uce. Roman's got nothing on us if we work together." Jimmy squeezed his hand again reassuringly. He was helping, he always did, Jey could feel it, but there was still something bothering him.
"Uce, what about Solo?" Jey asked much more meek than he'd have liked. He felt 7 years old again, Jimmy talking him through his first panic attack and staying up with him all night because he was too on edge to sleep.
"Solo can protect himself, Uce, you know that. Besides, you saw how he was with you at Backlash. Solo's my baby brother, but so are you and I gotta protect you too."
"By 8 minutes." Jey rolled his eyes, smiling beside himself. Jimmy's face lit up, smiling widely at his brother seeming better than he was previously.
"Baby Uce," Jimmy repeated, pinching Jey's cheek before he was batted away, laughing. "You any better?" Jimmy asked, quieter now, concern still etched onto every feature.
"Yeah, I'm good," Jey said, smiling slightly when he realised he meant it. "Thanks, Uce."
"Anytime Uce, you know that. This don't fall on just you no more, yeah? We gonna do what we always do, no matter what Roman throws at us." Jimmy gives his hand one last squeeze before turning back to the car, preparing to continue their drive. Jey shifted slightly in his chair, feeling better. Nothing was fixed, and Jey knew this wasn't over, not by a long shot. But as long as he had his brother by his side, he knew they'd be okay.