Chapter Text
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
WHEN WAS SOMEONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT SPIDERS HAVE NO BONES
05:39PM • 08 Sept 16 • 1.8M Views
13.3K Retweets 1,292 Quote Tweets 392K Likes
lila barton ✓⃝ @hawkeye
@iron_lad this has a story behind it and im scared to ask
kate @kbishop
@hawkeye apparently when spider-man gained his powers he neglected to inform anyone that he didn't just gain their ability to climb walls
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@kbishop NO ONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BEND LIKE THAT KATE
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@iron_lad IS THE LACK OF BONES JUST A THING THAT ALL SPIDER THEMED HEROES HAVE @blackwidow
natasha ✓⃝ @blackwidow
@iron_lad i was a ballerina, junior
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@blackwidow THAT ISN'T THE STRAIGHT FORWARD ANSWER I WANTED BUT I'LL TAKE IT
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
HYPOTHETICALLY IF I WERE TO SOMEHOW GAIN A SPIDER SUPERHERO ALIAS WOULD I GAIN THEIR SUPERHUMAN STRETCHYNESS TOO
05:52PM • 08 Sept 16 • 2.6M Views
28.1K Retweets 1,629 Quote Tweets 472K Likes
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@iron_lad With that clunky armor set of yours? For your own sake I hope not.
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@stark I MADE THAT ARMOR WITH HOURS OF MY OWN BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS IT IS MY BRAINCHILD LAY OFF OLD MAN
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@iron_lad Just sayin, kiddo, you try to pull off a back bend like Spider Kid and you'd impale yourself with your own metal before you got halfway.
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@iron_lad SPIDER-MAN, LIGHT OF MY LIFE, KERMIT TO MY MISS PIGGY, JELLY TO MY PEANUT BUTTER, SIN2 TO MY COS2, HOW DID YOU GET YOUR POWERS
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad a radioactive spider bit me
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman when the fuck did you get a twitter
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman WAIT YOU GOT WHAT
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
let it be known that princess shuri coerced me into making an official twitter account
11:25PM • 08 Sept 16 • 9.86M Views
83.8K Retweets 5,846 Quote Tweets 2.3M Likes
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@spiderhyphenman had to make a whole new email for this account u better appreciate it 😤😤
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@spiderhyphenman @iron_lad how did you get verified with a secret identity
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@spiderhyphenman maybe telling pr beforehand was a good idea after all
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@spiderhyphenman underoos do you just ignore the pr team for the hell of it
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@stark did you read the tweet at all Mr Stark i wAS COERCED
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman holy shit he actually did it
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad language!
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman hypocrite much? weren’t too worried bout language last night ;)
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad STOP TRYING TO START RUMOURS I GOT SHOT IN A ROBBERY AND IT HURT OK
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman if you say so ;)
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad you are the reason behind prs growing hatred of me
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman ;)))
SHURI ✓⃝ @hershuriness
@spiderhyphenman the days of living in fear of tagging your civilian account have come to an end
Flash @ujean
@hershuriness people know spider-man’s civilian alias???
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@ujean no shit sherlock
SHURI ✓⃝ @hershuriness
@ujean what? you believe he just recovers from all those broken ribs and stab wounds by himself in his bedroom?
Flash @ujean
@hershuriness but doesn’t he have super healing???
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@ujean yeah, healing that only accelerates the speed - spidey cant heal a goddamn stab to the stomach by himself he’d bleed out trying
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad ive done it before and ill do it again
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman you call refusing to call anyone and making us thing you were dead by going mia for three days is ‘doing it’????
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad the longer this conversation stretches, the more stupidity i gain in order to fuel my desire to prove you wrong
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman im not afraid to call your aunt
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad you win this time
THOR ✓⃝ @THOR_ODINSON
@spiderhyphenman THE YOUNG SPIDER HAS JOINED THIS CHATTING APPLICATION AT LONG LAST! I CANNOT WAIT FOR WHAT ENTAILS, YOUNG ONE!
Pepper Potts ✓⃝ @CEOPepperPotts
@spiderhyphenman You have a meeting with PR this Monday at 4:30pm, Spider-Man - don’t be late. They’re sprouting grey hairs by the second, dealing with your shenanigans.
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@CEOPepperPotts yes ma’am!
THE DAILY BUGLE ✓⃝ @TheDailyBugle
The Spider-Man has joined Twitter and is already wreaking havoc by neglecting to inform his higher ups, click here to find out more of the terror this vigilante has stirred up: https://www.thedailybugle.com/article/the-spider-man-has- …
03:15PM • 09 Sept 16 • 2.36M Views
14.2K Retweets 163 Quote Tweets 132K Likes
mj | BLM @emjay
@TheDailyBugle no one reads your shitty articles so do us all a favor and give it up already
where is spidey now? @SpiderTracker
Spider-Man was just spotted with crime fighting partner Iron Lad stopping a high-stakes bank robbery in Queens! Good job, team!
05:36PM • 09 Sept 16 • 5.2M Views
25.1K Retweets 748 Quote Tweets 853K Likes
zooeey <3 @zooeeyofmidgard
@SpiderTracker OMG I WAS THERE I GOT IT ON VIDEO
meg @theMEGolodon
@SpiderTracker I was one of the hostages!!!!!
IRON LAD HOURLY @iron_lad_hourly
@theMEGolodon Hi, Meg! We sent a DM regarding a small written interview about the situation today, would you be interested?
meg @theMEGolodon
@iron_lad_hourly WVAPFJENISVD YES
rainb @briarcomically
@SpiderTracker HOLY SHIT MY DADS WORKING THERE TODAY
where is spidey now? @SpiderTracker
@briarcomically Hi there - Rest assured, there were no casualties thanks to our favorite hero duo today! Wish your dad the best from us!
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@SpiderTracker its a little concerning how fast you are at finding out where i am
where is spidey now? @SpiderTracker
@spiderhyphenman Magicians never reveal their secrets ;)
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
found a cool black bike with a broken lock while on patrol! dm for address i left it at if it’s yours and a quick security question for proof
[black-bike-with-note-from-spidey.png]
7:29PM • 09 Sept 16 • 94.7K Views
42 Retweets 34 Quote Tweets 19K Likes
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman why are u still on patrol you got shot during the robbery????
KAREN @spiderhyphenkaren
@iron_lad Spider-Man’s bullet wound has closed up completely and has healed, as such he has been deemed alright for further patrol tonight.
ted @nedinthechair
@spiderhyphenkaren holy shit is that spider man’s ai
KAREN @spiderhyphenkaren
@nedinthechair Yes, I can confirm that I am indeed Spider-Man’s personal AI. This account was created so that you can contact me directly with any concerns when or if he is unavailable to do so himself.
ted @nedinthechair
@spiderhyphenkaren THIS IS SO COOL WTF
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman Cho’s gonna kill u one of these days
pete @peterman
lost my school bag it looks cheap and red with black thread holding it together pls return my ap chem hw was in there
01:16AM • 10 Sept 16 • 94 Views
6 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 24 Likes
May @maybelleparker
@peterman Oh Peter not again ☹️
pete @peterman
@maybelleparker i have enough money for a new one this time!
ted @nedinthechair
@peterman sent u a pic of my hw check discord
pete @peterman
@nedinthechair NED UR MY HERO ILYSM
ted @nedinthechair
@peterman awh ily2 man
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
51 looks like SI therefor Area 51 is owned by Tony Stark. Sometimes my own intelligence amazes me.
02:57AM • 10 Sept 16 • 16.2M Views
376K Retweets 173K Quote Tweets 7.3M Likes
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@iron_lad Somehow you got the right answer from a wildly made up formula.
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@iron_lad Also go to sleep kid it's three in the morning.
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@stark YOU OWN WHAT
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman my 3am stupidity has bought us tickets to see the aliens
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
may need to postpone the trip to area 51 @spiderhyphenman, i just got out of bed and ive never regretted an action more
10:48AM • 10 Sept 16 • 3.2M Views
152K Retweets 38K Quote Tweets 467K Likes
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad coward, ive been up since 6 running on two hours of sleep and a dream
Sprog of Stark ✓⃝ @iron_lad
@spiderhyphenman that’s because you have *responsibilities* to uphold
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@iron_lad ah yes, the government enforced prison they call school in which has only succeeded in burying my mental health five feet under
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@spiderhyphenman You want a slot with my therapist some time soon kiddo?
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@stark sorry Mr Stark i have a ten page essay due tomorrow and ap chem homework to redo before fourth period
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@spiderhyphenman I’ve booked you in for 5, be at the Tower for 4.
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
@stark MR STARK NO MY ASSIGNMENTS
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@spiderhyphenman I’m sure you’ll be able to get them done between web-slinging and therapy.
THE DAILY BUGLE ✓⃝ @TheDailyBugle
This just in, Spider-Man is mentally unfit to be a hero as Tony Stark himself signs him up for therapy: https://www.thedailybugle.com/article/iron-man-has- …
01:34PM • 10 Sept 16 • 2.5M Views
23.3K Retweets 342 Quote Tweets 129K Likes
mj | BLM @emjay
@TheDailyBugle if your reporters actually studied what they were reporting on, you'd notice that stark advised spider-man go to HIS THERAPIST
mj | BLM @emjay
@TheDailyBugle how is this paper still selling
CINDerella @girlfriendthemoon
@emjay if anyone knew the answer we'd have the company long shut down, chelle
spidey! @spiderhyphenman
did anyone tell mr america after the ice that cigarettes cause cancer and that they were probably why he had asthma??? DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE SPACE RACE??? DOES CAPTAIN AMERICA KNOW WE WENT TO THE MOON????
09:28PM • 10 Sept 16 • 28.5M Views
948K Retweets 283K Quote Tweets 12.3M Likes
Captain America ✓⃝ @ice_pops
@spiderhyphenman Someone please tell me the kid's lying.
Tony Stark ✓⃝ @stark
@ice_pops BAHAHAH AHAHAC HADSAISDJH
bucky @jbbarnes
@ice_pops god stevie, even i knew about that