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There are so many adjectives to describe Choi Beomgyu.
Pretty, cute, dainty, delicate, feisty, sensitive, bright, funny, loud, endearingly annoying, handsome, gentle, beautiful, humorous, you name it. Yeonjun can think of so many different ways to describe the person that Beomgyu is. Hot is definitely not one of them.
Yet, here he is, feeling so awestruck by how hot Choi Beomgyu is at a party held by one of their mutual friends, Hwang Hyunjin.
The feeling takes him by surprise. All his life, he has never seen Beomgyu as hot. Perhaps, it is because they have known each other for too many years that he has somehow become immune to his hotness, unable to see him that way. He knows Beomgyu’s strengths and flaws like the back of his hand, really, so it is difficult to see him as anything but who Beomgyu is; Beomgyu. Beomgyu is Beomgyu, if that makes sense. Beomgyu is not supposed to be hot to him, granted that they did date once two years ago.
However, the Beomgyu who is standing in his line of sight takes Yeonjun’s breath away. For the first time in a very long time, he feels majorly attracted to him.
Beomgyu is wearing a simple long-sleeved maroon red satin button-down shirt. The first two buttons of his shirt are opened, revealing his collarbones which, Yeonjun notes, are perfect to sink his teeth in. The fact that it is unmarked gives him the urge to do unspeakable things to it. His shirt is tucked loosely in a black skirt that he dons prettily. Underneath, Beomgyu has a pair of black pants on.
Everything that he wears complements his body, really. Yet, it is not his outfit that leaves Yeonjun breathless. It is his hair. Beomgyu has a wolf haircut which reaches slightly below his shoulder. His long hair frames his face in a way that makes him look ethereal; almost as if he is a being out of this world. Something about the hair coupled with his outfit gives an aura of femininity in his masculinity that Yeonjun cannot fully describe in words.
In conclusion, for a lack of better word, Choi Beomgyu looks hot tonight and it is a finding that Yeonjun is not used to.
So, when Beomgyu approaches his way with a beautiful smile as soon as their eyes meet, Yeonjun quickly averts his gaze and scrambles off.
It has been a long time since the Choi Yeonjun malfunctions.
The thing is, Yeonjun knows what it was like to date Beomgyu, having experienced it before. It was not a bad experience, truth be told. In fact, Beomgyu is his best ex, even if he may never admit it out loud. Yeonjun has had his fair share of both healthy and toxic relationships. His past relationship with Beomgyu was definitely in the healthy scale with a little addition of petty fights. Unfortunately, it did not work out.
Nothing bad really happened. Beomgyu treated him well and Yeonjun was certain that he treated him just as good. It was an amicable breakup, actually. Both of them agreed to end things before things could escalate further. Yeonjun was not ready to lose Beomgyu completely and if things started going awry, he was sure that he would never have Beomgyu in his life ever again.
Beomgyu was possessive and Yeonjun needed to be free. It was clear that their interests did not align, no matter how well they completed each other. They could not meet each other’s needs and that was that. They decided to remain as friends which have worked pretty well for them.
Until now.
Yeonjun feels like he is going crazy from the amount of attraction that he has for Beomgyu right now. He has always known that Beomgyu is good-looking and attractive. All the times that they had sex when they were dating pretty much proved that Beomgyu is well-endowed and physically attractive. But hot? How can Yeonjun see him as hot when the younger man likes being spoiled, enjoys acting cute to get his way and is basically a princess? Even now, when they are no longer dating, Beomgyu is still his passenger princess. Shotgun is always reserved for him when they hang out with their friends. Do not even get him started on the personal favours that Beomgyu always asks of him to drive him to many different places every other day.
This is definitely something new that he has never experienced before. Everyone has always said that it is difficult to be friends with your ex. Yeonjun has always proven them wrong for the past two years. It has been pretty easy for him to be friends with Beomgyu. Beomgyu was someone he once loved and he would always care for him, even if things may change. As long as Beomgyu is happy, Yeonjun is happy. It is simple as that. It is not complicated at all. Even when either of them gets into another relationship, it is never weird between them. They have never been the kind of toxic exes who wish hell on each other and sabotage each other’s relationships under the guise of being “friends”.
Yeonjun does not know what makes it different this time. He does not know what has shifted in the universe tonight.
It is Beomgyu’s hair, he finally decides when he has taken long enough to think about it. Beomgyu with his stupid long pretty hair and pretty eyes and pretty smile is finally getting to him.
He needs to find a way to get rid of this attraction somehow.
The first and only step to eliminate the sudden spark of attraction to Choi Beomgyu is to avoid the said guy in the party. The party has just started and Yeonjun is already hiding in one of the bedrooms upstairs. This is not like him. He has always enjoyed being the centre of the party. He likes having eyes on him; another major reason why things did not work out with Beomgyu. Whereas Beomgyu prefers to keep their sexual activities private and keep Yeonjun to himself, Yeonjun is an exhibitionist. Or a slut, as Taehyun sometimes likes to point out factually, knowing that Yeonjun will never take offense on it.
The point is, Yeonjun likes attention. He basks in the praises falling out of people’s lips over how pretty he looks, how his tight pants accentuate his long legs, how the skirts he wears are getting increasingly bolder, how pretty his fucked-out face is whenever he walks out of a room at parties after his frivolous activities in there with the lucky person of the day, how he is a fashion icon with the way he dresses, how he… well, you get the point. The fact that he is hiding in a bedroom during a party speaks a lot about how much effect Beomgyu has on him right now.
Unfortunately, his plan to avoid his very gorgeous and very beautiful and, most importantly, very hot ex is foiled when the bedroom door swings open and Beomgyu enters with a frown on his face. Yeonjun whips his head back in surprise. It has barely even been a minute since he sought refuge in this room. He did not actually expect Beomgyu to chase after him.
“Why the fuck did you run away from me?” Beomgyu demands as soon as he enters the room. His eyebrows are creased and a slight scowl is formed on his face.
Holy fucking shit, this just makes Beomgyu ten times hotter now.
“I wasn’t,” Yeonjun lies, trying his best to maintain an innocent expression on his face.
It obviously does not work. Beomgyu shoots him a deadpanned look. For the first time ever, Yeonjun feels pinned down by the younger man’s gaze. His dark eyes are intimidating as they narrow at him.
“Okay, fine, I was,” Yeonjun finally admits once he cannot take the silence anymore. It is unfair, really. Beomgyu has always been good at hitting him with the psychological silence that causes him to spill more than he would have wanted to, if he has the choice.
“Why?”
Yeonjun racks his brain for a lie. Any lie would do, honestly. It is better than admitting the mortifying truth of being attracted to Choi Beomgyu, his friend and ex. Admitting it would change the trajectory of their friendship forever and Yeonjun is not prepared for that. He does not know how Beomgyu would react and he would rather not know. It has been two years since their breakup, after all. He is not about to be the loser who still pines for his ex after two years.
Unfortunately, Yeonjun cannot think of a lie.
“Um,” he stutters.
Beomgyu raises an eyebrow as he folds his arms challengingly. That should not be as attractive as it is but Yeonjun’s brain is all sorts of haywire right now when faced with Choi Beomgyu with a wolf haircut which drives him absolutely insane. He wonders briefly how it would feel to grip Beomgyu’s hair between his fingers again. It would be a nice feeling. Beomgyu’s hair is soft, silky and smooth, from what he remembers.
“I’m waiting,” Beomgyu prompts, not budging from his decision to pry the truth out of Yeonjun.
God, sometimes, he forgets how stubborn his ex can be. It is also another reason why things did not work out. Both of them were very stubborn about their own stand and could not come to a compromise. Letting go was the best decision at the time. It was the only logical solution. Yeonjun did not want to hurt Beomgyu and he did not want to get hurt. Beomgyu has always meant so much to him and he never wants to lose Beomgyu, even if it means remaining as just friends with him.
Yet, right now, Yeonjun wonders if it has been a mistake. Where would they be now if they had not broken up?
Yeonjun opens his mouth to say whatever that comes to mind only to freeze when his eyes land on Beomgyu’s hands. Or fingernails, to be more specific. His nails are painted black which only serve to make him even hotter than he already is. He has always had a thing for pretty boys who are not afraid to do unconventional things that may not be ‘masculine’ to other men. Fuck toxic masculinity. Doing things that are considered as feminine by the society’s stupid standards should not threaten anyone’s masculinity.
“If you’ve got a problem with me, go ahead and say it,” Beomgyu snaps, obviously tired of the prolonged silence. “Didn’t we agree to talk things out and be honest with each other whenever there’s something wrong?”
The thing is, that was a promise between them from when they were still dating. Yeonjun had brought it up first after noticing how closed off Beomgyu was at times. Slowly, he pulled Beomgyu away from his shell and tore his walls down, letting the latter bare his soul completely. That was also when all the problems began. Communication has never been the issue between them; comprehension is. All their long conversations and yet they could not understand each other. It has always been established that Beomgyu is insanely possessive and Yeonjun simply wants to be free.
Yeonjun knows all that. So, why does he suddenly have such a huge longing for Beomgyu? Is this because he is horny? It has been quite some time since he last had sex. He is probably just projecting it all on his ex, simply because Beomgyu looks a little too hot tonight.
“I don’t have a problem with you,” he finally clarifies. It is the truth. He has a problem with himself instead.
“Then, why did you run away from me?” Beomgyu asks. He takes a step closer. Yeonjun’s eyes dart towards the door behind him, wondering if he can outrun Beomgyu. On usual days, he probably can. But an agitated Beomgyu is inexplicably fast.
“Oh, don’t even think about it,” Beomgyu warns as he shifts to the right to cover Yeonjun’s vision of the door completely. He unfolds his arms to lock the door behind him briefly before setting his eyes on Yeonjun once again.
Unable to come up with a good excuse, Yeonjun finally confesses, “I just think that you’re hot.”
The expected reaction from Beomgyu is laughter. It seems to be a pretty funny situation, if Yeonjun pauses to think about it. If it were the other way round, Yeonjun would simply laugh it off and tease Beomgyu. He would not dare to do anything else.
But Beomgyu is not Beomgyu if he is predictable. So many years of them knowing each other and he still takes Yeonjun by surprise sometimes. It should not faze him anymore but Beomgyu’s antics are not something he can foresee.
Instead of laughing it off, Beomgyu smirks. His smug expression would have annoyed Yeonjun if not for the fact that the smirk makes his ex look a thousand times hotter. Yeonjun tries his best to remain unaffected as Beomgyu steps forward until he is in his personal space. He shivers when Beomgyu wraps an arm around his waist loosely and leans closer to his ear.
“What’s on your mind, Jun?” Beomgyu asks as his voice deepens. “What do you want to do to me when you first saw me tonight?”
“You have pretty collarbones,” Yeonjun whispers automatically in response. “I want to bite them and leave marks. On your neck too. You’re so pretty that I want to ruin you.” He does not know what compels him to be honest but a mix of arousal and excitement pools in his stomach at the game that Beomgyu is playing. There is a slight chance that Beomgyu will make fun of him after this but he does not care right now.
“Is that all?” Beomgyu asks, leaning back slightly to arch an eyebrow in a way that almost makes Yeonjun feel ashamed of his own thoughts. It is like Beomgyu knows all the sinful thoughts inside his head and wants them to be laid out in front of him for him to pick and choose among them to torture Yeonjun even more.
“Your hair,” Yeonjun says. He pauses for a moment only to let out a small gasp when Beomgyu squeezes his waist with the hand that is resting on it. “I want to know what it’s like to pull on it,” he adds. “It’s beautiful, it makes you hot and I just want to tangle my fingers in it.”
Beomgyu’s eyes bore into Yeonjun’s as amusement fills his face. Yet, it is not the kind of humorous amusement. It is more of seductively entertained amusement. “In what kind of situation do you want to pull on my hair?” he asks as his other hand that is not on Yeonjun’s waist starts travelling down the latter’s chest lightly. “Would you like it if I go down on my knees and suck you off? You can grip my hair and fuck my mouth, if you want.”
Oh, God. It has been so long since Yeonjun last heard such filthy words leave Beomgyu’s lips. He has almost forgotten how good Beomgyu is at riling him up. The imagery of everything that his ex mentioned is making him aroused as specific memories of their intimate moments together play in his mind. Beomgyu was not really the best at giving head back then but he would always make up for it by letting Yeonjun fuck his mouth as he pleased. Briefly, Yeonjun wonders if Beomgyu’s blowjob skills have gotten better over the past two years. It is a filthy inappropriate thought to have and Yeonjun would have felt ashamed if not for the way Beomgyu’s hand, the one that was on his chest, is now squeezing his crotch.
“Or maybe, do you want to grip my hair while I fuck you into the sheets because that’s the only thing that’s helping you to stay sane?” Beomgyu asks in a low voice with his hand still on Yeonjun’s crotch.
Yeonjun whines at that. This imagery is hot too. He has never really had any preference for sex, as long as it is good and safe for both parties. The thought of having his fingers tangled into Beomgyu’s beautiful hair while being fucked dumb gets him even more aroused now.
Everything about this situation is inappropriate. It is all too familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. Back then, Beomgyu did not really like to top. He was a huge pillow princess and Yeonjun enjoyed giving the younger man everything he wanted. He could never deny Beomgyu anything, even after they broke up. This Beomgyu in front of him seems different, which is funny because it is not like Yeonjun has not seen him in months. They meet almost every single day as they run in the same circle of friends. They have always been tight-knitted too. Yeonjun has never noticed anything different about Beomgyu.
Yet, now it seems like Beomgyu has changed so much. His preferences seem to have differed. Hell, even the way he carries himself is different. How did Yeonjun not notice this before? Is it because he has always tried his hardest to see Beomgyu in a platonic light after the breakup?
“Honestly, right now, you can do anything you want to me and I’ll take it,” Yeonjun says hoarsely as he tries his best not to buck his hips into Beomgyu’s hand to get some friction on his erection. It is the truth, though. Whatever Beomgyu says, it goes. Now that Yeonjun thinks about it, he has always given in to Beomgyu’s demands that are within his own boundaries.
All of a sudden, Beomgyu pulls away. His dark gaze softens into something more vulnerable. He looks more like the Beomgyu that he knows. Yeonjun is a little taken aback by the sudden change in atmosphere, though. It is a little too sudden and he needs more time to get rid of the haze his mind was slowly settling into.
“I can’t do this, I’m sorry,” Beomgyu apologises.
Yeonjun blinks, trying his best to regain his composure. “I,” he croaks out before clearing his throat to keep himself focused. “It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have pushed you too far.”
“No, you don’t understand,” his ex insists as he looks directly into Yeonjun’s eyes.
Heaviness settles in the air between them, slicing through the sexual tension that they had earlier. It is a sombre mood now. Yeonjun does not know if he likes it. On one hand, he knows that it is a good thing that they stopped before they do something that will change everything instantly. On the other hand, he dreads the seriousness of this conversation. It feels heavy, intimate and something he is not prepared for.
“What do you mean?” he asks, uncertain if he wants to know.
“If we do this, it’ll break me,” Beomgyu replies in a soft tone, a stark contrast from the tone he used when he uttered all the dirty things earlier. “You have no idea how much it’ll hurt me.”
Yeonjun studies the younger man’s face for a second, trying to decipher what he is trying to say. A sad expression settles on his pretty face. Even then, Yeonjun finds him hauntingly attractive.
“Why would it hurt you?” he questions as gently as he can. This time around, it is him who reaches out to Beomgyu. He falters for a second, not knowing if it is appropriate to pull him into a hug. Shrugging his own worries off, he takes Beomgyu’s hand instead. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Please explain it to me.”
“Don’t make me spell it out for you, Yeonjun.” Beomgyu’s tone is pleading, tinged with a hint of pain and desperation.
“I don’t want to assume,” Yeonjun responds tentatively. He is not dumb. He knows what Beomgyu is implying but he does not want to assume unless Beomgyu says it explicitly.
Tears fill Beomgyu’s beautiful doe eyes. All the sexual tension between them is gone at this point. Only locked hearts and fragile feelings remain. Feelings that Yeonjun has not known their existence before this.
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Beomgyu whispers softly. Then, he pulls his hand away to unlock the door of the bedroom that they are currently in. “We can pretend like this never happened,” he says without looking back.
With that, Yeonjun is left all alone, more confused than ever with a mix of emotions settling deep inside his heart.
“Tell me you and Beomgyu didn’t fuck last night,” Soobin hisses the next morning as he slams his tray down on the table of their university cafeteria.
Yeonjun hums noncommittally in response, not looking up from the book he is reading. It is a poetry book filled with beautiful poems. Yet, none of the poems manage to captivate his attention as his mind is preoccupied with thoughts of another beautiful being instead.
“Choi Yeonjun,” Soobin says, raising his voice to get his attention.
Suddenly, his book is snatched out of his hands, causing Yeonjun to finally look up. He lets out a loud groan of dread at the way Soobin is narrowing his eyes at him threateningly. This is the thing he hates the most about having romantic or past romantic relations with people in the same friend group. There are bound to be people who would poke their noses into his business.
Exhibit A: Choi Soobin.
“We didn’t fuck,” Yeonjun replies curtly, even though it is frankly none of Soobin’s business even if they did. He holds his hand out as patiently as he can, requesting for his book back.
“Really?” Soobin furrows his eyebrows sceptically as he raises the book even further away from Yeonjun’s hands. “Taehyun told me that he saw you two coming out of the same bedroom.”
Ah, here it is another example. Exhibit B: Kang Taehyun.
“Doesn’t mean we fucked,” Yeonjun responds, keeping his tone civil and nonchalant. His hand is still outstretched.
“Kai heard Beomgyu crying his eyes out in the bathroom,” Soobin adds, raising an eyebrow challengingly. “Why did he cry right after seeing you in the bedroom?”
Exhibit C: Huening Kai. His friends are nosy as fuck. It is fine, though. He knows that they are just concerned.
Hearing that Beomgyu cried last night after their encounter causes Yeonjun’s heart to ache. Perhaps, he should have kept his mouth shut about finding his ex hot. He should have known that things would turn complicated. Hell, he has always been warned of being friends with exes but he has never had any issues with it until now, simply because he cannot resist Beomgyu’s hotness.
To be fair, it was a sight to see. Beomgyu looked so delicious last night. Anyone with working eyes and great taste would drool over him.
“You know something, don’t you?” Yeonjun asks, tilting his head slightly to the side as he retracts his hand. Why else would Soobin be so agitated over him and Beomgyu fucking? His mind wanders to Beomgyu’s words last night.
If we do this, it’ll break me.
“It’s not my place to tell you,” Soobin says in response.
“It’s not your place to pry, either,” Yeonjun shoots back.
A crestfallen look crosses over Soobin’s face. Yeonjun sighs. He did not mean to sound so harsh. “Listen,” he says as gently as possible. “I know that you care for both Beomgyu and me. I really appreciate that. I love you for it. But please trust that we know how to handle ourselves. We’ll work things out, somehow. We will never do anything to hurt each other intentionally.”
“Okay,” Soobin finally says, after a moment of silence. “I trust you guys. My trust better not be misplaced.” He narrows his eyes once again as a threat. It does not come off as scary at all.
Yeonjun smiles fondly as he reaches out to ruffle Soobin’s hair, causing the latter to swat his hand away.
It takes three days for Yeonjun to meet Beomgyu again after the party.
Three days may not seem like a huge amount but it is, to Yeonjun. He has always been used to Beomgyu’s constant presence in his life. Even after their breakup, Beomgyu is always there. They text each other often. Yeonjun hates eating alone so he always asks Beomgyu out to eat. Beomgyu has trouble sleeping so Yeonjun sometimes calls him until he falls asleep. It is their thing. It has always been their thing even before they started dating. It should not be strange that they are still doing it even after their relationship ended. Why should it be any different? Yeonjun is just showing that he cares to the person he loves, platonic or romantic.
Yeonjun has never found it strange. In hindsight, he should have been more aware of social norms with friends. Or, at the very least, he should have been more attuned to what Beomgyu is feeling.
But Beomgyu has always made it so easy. It is so easy to talk to him, to confide in him, to tease him, to take care of him. It has always been so easy to receive the same energy right back. Yeonjun has always passed it all off as platonic. Friends do that for each other, what makes them any different? Why should he treat Beomgyu any differently from when they were dating? Minus the hand-holding, constant touches, occasional sex and kissing, nothing should change. Beomgyu is still someone he loves and cares about and he wants to show it.
Nothing should change but Beomgyu has changed. Hell, Yeonjun knows that he has changed too. Who would stay the same for the past two years, anyway? The two of them have developed and grown a lot through experiences. Perhaps, in Yeonjun’s mind, he has always thought that his perception of Beomgyu would always remain the same.
Even though Beomgyu was the one who decided that they should pretend whatever that happened in the party never occurred, it is Beomgyu who brings it up directly again.
In an attempt to bring things back to normal, Yeonjun has asked him out to lunch and the latter agrees. So, here they are sitting across each other. Only difference is that Beomgyu no longer has a wolf haircut. Instead, his hair is back to his shorter mullet haircut which complements him well too. Yeonjun has always known that Beomgyu is beautiful, handsome, pretty and all the good adjectives there are to describe looks. It seems like the aftereffects of finding Choi Beomgyu hot have not worn off because even without the wolf haircut, Yeonjun feels a little too much.
“Did you cut your hair?” Yeonjun asks conversationally as he looks over at the menu, trying his best to appear as casual.
“No,” Beomgyu answers. “Those were extensions at the party.”
Yeonjun does not say anything to that. Instead, he hums in acknowledgement, pretending like he is concentrated on the different choices of food on the menu when they both know that he will end up ordering pho, as usual.
“Do you only find me hot when I got the extensions or do you still find me hot right now?” Beomgyu speaks up, after a moment of silence.
At that, Yeonjun chokes on his saliva. It is such an unexpected question, given the way Beomgyu reacted so strongly at the party. When he finally stops choking, he looks up to see Beomgyu looking so smug at the reaction he received.
“I thought we were going to pretend like it never happened?” Yeonjun asks, dodging the question. He raises an eyebrow quizzically.
“I changed my mind,” Beomgyu shrugs, trying to appear as nonchalant. Unfortunately, Yeonjun can read him very well. He has obviously thought a lot about it. “I kind of like the effect I had on you.”
A blush rises on Yeonjun’s cheeks. So many feelings are swirling inside him right now and it is all thanks to Choi Beomgyu. It has been so long since his ex drives him this crazy and he does not know how to react to all this. He has an inkling of what is going on but he cannot do anything if Beomgyu refuses to admit it out loud.
Maybe, Yeonjun should try to nudge him in the right direction.
So, with as much courage as he can muster, he says, “I think you’re hot either way.”
Beomgyu smiles in response, clearly satisfied by the answer.
The discovery of Yeonjun finding Beomgyu hot seems to be an ego boost to the latter.
It is very much obvious by the way Beomgyu carries himself whenever Yeonjun is around. Although Beomgyu is not wearing the hair extensions, he still has a huge effect on Yeonjun for some reason, especially when he flirts. Over the past two weeks, Beomgyu has taken a liking to flirting with Yeonjun randomly, regardless of their friends’ presence. Pet names are thrown carelessly, lingering touches are given delicately and blatant staring is too obvious to ignore.
Curious raised brows have been sent into their way each time but Beomgyu does not seem to care and Yeonjun… well, Yeonjun is lowkey enjoying the attention.
It is only when Beomgyu decides to wear his hair extensions again during another party, in Kai’s house this time, that Yeonjun has had enough of the teasing. He decides to corner him in the bedroom again. Perhaps, he should have been more mindful of where he wants to confront Beomgyu because before he can get any words out of his mouth, he finds himself pinned down on the bed.
His wrists are trapped above his head in Beomgyu’s right hand. Beomgyu is straddling his waist while looking down at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Yeonjun finds himself gasping for breath as his eyes find Beomgyu’s dark ones. Like this, Beomgyu seems more ethereal than ever. His dark long hair flows perfectly. His black top hangs loosely around his neck, exposing a little bit of his chest. Yeonjun tries really hard not to stare at it and chooses to keep his eyes on Beomgyu’s face firmly.
“You’re a little bit of a slut, aren’t you?” Beomgyu teases lightly as a smirk crosses his face. His eyes rake over Yeonjun’s body, taking in the sight of him greedily.
Suddenly, Yeonjun starts feeling self-conscious. He knows how sultry he looks right now in his clothing. It was done on purpose; he likes attention, after all. He loves it when eyes are on him. But tonight, there is only one particular pair of eyes that he wants on him. If Beomgyu is deliberately riling him up by flirting and being hot, two can play at the game.
Yeonjun can only imagine what he looks like right now beneath Beomgyu. He is sure that his hair is a little mussed from the dancing he did earlier. He intentionally made his lips look puffier than they usually are tonight along with light baby doll makeup that he knows will be irresistible to anyone looking at him. He has his dark blue with thin vertical white stripes buttons-down shirt on except that he has decided to wear it differently, inspired by one of the looks he saw on Instagram a few weeks back. He did only two of his buttons and even then, they are uneven, leaving enough space for him to slide the shirt off his shoulder, exposing the skin daintily. Underneath the shirt, he has a black tank top on. His buttons-down shirt is tucked into a black leather miniskirt, revealing his long legs.
“Whose attention are you trying to get with what you’re wearing, Jun?” Beomgyu asks in the same teasing tone.
The answer is obvious so Yeonjun does not bother to grace the question with a response. Instead, he flutters his eyelashes. “What are you going to do about it?” he challenges, unable to stop himself. He knows that he came here to actually talk to Beomgyu about everything that is going on between them but everything that is going on right now is too electrifying to put a stop to it.
Beomgyu’s eyes darken even further, if that is possible. His free hand caresses Yeonjun’s exposed shoulder lightly. “I should mark you up right here,” he says in a low tone. “Or, maybe,” he continues as his hand slowly lowers until he is rubbing Yeonjun’s thigh which is covered by his skirt, “I should flip you over and have my way with you while keeping your hands behind your back. You can’t do anything but take it like the little slut that you are. You’d definitely love that, wouldn’t you?”
Yeonjun shivers slightly from the dark filthy words uttered by Beomgyu. He does not remember Beomgyu being this degrading before. During the rare times that Beomgyu topped him when they were dating, he was always gentle and loving. This is a new side of him and Yeonjun feels thrilled to discover it. In his right mind, he knows that he should pause whatever this is and insist that they talk about it first. Whatever that is going on needs to be addressed before things escalate further. Yet, he cannot help himself. Perhaps, deep down, even before he started realising that Beomgyu is hot, his heart has always missed Beomgyu. Maybe that is why he reaches out to him a little too often. Maybe that is why he gladly entertains his favours.
Maybe, that is why, right at this moment, he tilts his head to the side and bares his neck, encouraging Beomgyu to mark him.
Beomgyu would love it, he knows. His ex has always been possessive of him. He enjoyed marking Yeonjun back then so Yeonjun is absolutely certain that he will enjoy it now too. Soon enough, he feels Beomgyu’s lips on his skin lightly, barely a touch, ghosting over it. Then, in contrast with his crass words and the pressure on the wrists, Beomgyu presses his lips gently on Yeonjun’s neck, trailing kisses until he reaches the end of his exposed shoulder. His hair tickles Yeonjun’s bare skin slightly but Yeonjun finds himself loving it.
Tossing his head back, Yeonjun lets out a small groan when Beomgyu’s hand dips inside his skirt, fondling his bare thigh lightly. He feels a little too hot with everything that is going on right now. He tries to pull his hands away from Beomgyu’s tight grip above his head so he can pull Beomgyu by the hair and kiss him on the lips but the latter is having none of it as he applies more pressure instead. Yeonjun has never felt this frustrated yet turned on by being restrained.
“You’re still so possessive, aren’t you?” Yeonjun speaks up in retaliation. If Beomgyu refuses to let him touch him then he might as well have his fun in other ways. “You hate seeing everyone looking at me in this outfit, don’t you? That’s why you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
Teeth sink in right into the skin of his neck, causing him to let out a whine. The pain comes as a surprise, although not unwelcomed. Then, a wet sensation covers the bite mark as Beomgyu soothes the pain by lathering his tongue lightly on it. Fingers hook themselves on the waistband of his thong and slip it off him, leaving him bare under his skirt. He raises his legs slightly to help take it off.
Yeonjun whines once again as Beomgyu cups his erection in a teasing manner. “I don’t remember my possessiveness being this much of a turn-on for you,” Beomgyu quips in response.
It was not a turn-on back then, if Yeonjun has to be honest. But things have changed, even him.
So, Yeonjun lets himself drown in Beomgyu’s touch and possessiveness tonight.
Yeonjun wakes up the next morning right next to Beomgyu.
It has been a very long time since this last happened. He honestly cannot remember when exactly. Last night, after reaching his orgasm, Yeonjun has passed out almost immediately, unable to keep his eyes open as his body was too tired from all the mixture of pain and pleasure it endured. It seemed like Beomgyu had taken the time to clean them up as he now lies in clean sheets with his ex in very close proximity. Even his makeup is off. Their clothes which were strewn all over the room last night are now neatly folded on the study table in this room.
Once again, too many feelings fill him, except that he is able to identify them all now. It is a mix of happiness, sadness, longing, love, fondness, affection, pain, guilt and yearning all at once. Back then, Beomgyu’s possessiveness suffocated him. He felt caged, as if it was pinning him down and locking him with no way out. He desperately wanted to be free. But it was never his possessiveness that suffocated Yeonjun. It was his own fear. Beomgyu has always been too good to be true. Beomgyu is so good to him that he feels himself undeserving of it. He has always tried to compensate it by giving Beomgyu whatever he wants. He tries to fill in the gaps with promising actions while still unable to get rid of his fear.
Yet, right now, as he lies down in bed next to his own ex, a series of realisation hits him. Maybe he should have known right from the start that the fact he treated Beomgyu no different from when they were dating means that his feelings for his ex have always been deep. His feelings have always remained the same for the past two years and he does not even realise it until a new wave of feelings in regards to Beomgyu’s hotness hits him. How dumb is he, really?
It seems like Yeonjun is too lost deep in his thought that he does not realise that Beomgyu has woken up until the younger man greets him in his deep morning voice, “Hi, good morning.”
Yeonjun does not say anything for a second, choosing to stare silently at Beomgyu’s face instead. His hair extensions are gone, probably somewhere on the dressing table. Even then, Yeonjun thinks he is attractive. Even then, Yeonjun greatly misses him.
“Was last night good for you?” Beomgyu asks tentatively. Concern creases his face. This is the Beomgyu he is familiar with; caring, gentle and delicate. But that does not mean it invalidates the person Beomgyu was last night. Two sides of the same coin. It is nice, actually. Yeonjun has his fair share of kinks, after all.
“It was,” Yeonjun assures him as he stretches his bare body. He feels sore all over, which is a given, considering how rough Beomgyu was with him last night. It is fine, though. At the very least, Beomgyu eventually let his hands go and he managed to pull on the latter’s hair just like how he desired.
Both of them are still naked under the blanket and Yeonjun can still feel the body warmth radiating from Beomgyu’s body. Then, a thought crosses his mind. It did not occur to him last night. “Didn’t you say that if we do this, it’ll break you?” he asks quietly, afraid of the answer he will receive. He has never wanted to hurt Beomgyu. He loves him a little too much to do that.
“Yes,” Beomgyu affirms but offers no explanation.
“Beomgyu, I think it’s time we talk about this,” Yeonjun insists, trying his best to be gentle yet assertive at the same time. He knows how scared Beomgyu is at revealing his inner thoughts and feelings. He needs to be gentle with him so that he will not scare him away. Or worse, make him cry again.
Beomgyu looks visibly confused, though. “Isn’t this what you wanted? We don’t have to talk about it. In fact, I don’t want to talk about it,” he replies immediately. His voice is still deep and scratchy from sleep and Yeonjun finds himself endeared by it, despite the stupid words that Beomgyu uttered.
“What is it that you think I want, Gyu?” Yeonjun asks softly as he reaches out a hand to stroke Beomgyu’s cheek gently.
“Sex,” comes the immediate reply. “You liked it when I had my hair long, you got all aroused and putty.”
Yeonjun retracts his hand from Beomgyu’s cheek, not knowing if he should feel offended. He stares blankly at Beomgyu, unable to believe his ears. Does this mean that Beomgyu thinks that whatever he is feeling for him all this time is mere lust?
“I just wish it doesn’t have to be this one time, though,” Beomgyu whispers hoarsely as he looks a little too vulnerable under the blanket gazing at Yeonjun with so much longing in his eyes. Funny that Yeonjun is so against him being a pining loser for his ex but it is Beomgyu who is one all this time. Funnier thing is, Yeonjun has always been one too. It just took him a little too much time to realise it.
“It doesn’t have to be just this one time,” Yeonjun finally speaks up, trying his best to convey what his heart feels.
Confusion swirls in Beomgyu’s eyes. “You mean, like, we become fuck buddies?”
Yeonjun’s eyes widen. “No!” he exclaims.
“Friends with benefits?”
“I mean, romantically,” Yeonjun says quickly before Beomgyu can come up with other ridiculous ideas that he does not want to hear. “I want to try working things out with you again. I want to be in a relationship with you again, if you’ll have me.”
Beomgyu frowns. Yeonjun feels his own heart drop at that.
“Am I reading things wrong?” Yeonjun asks tentatively as he shifts away from Beomgyu. “I’m sorry. I tried so hard not to assume and I probably should have just waited for you to tell me what you meant when you said–”
“It’s not that,” Beomgyu interrupts. His eyes are filled with so much wariness and doubt that Yeonjun’s heart ache a little. Is he the cause of that? Hesitation is clear on his ex’s face as he says, “I’m not any less possessive than I was two years ago, you know. Maybe a little more now, honestly. If we try again, I’d want everyone to know that you’re mine, I’d definitely hate it when people flirt with you and try to get with you when clearly, you’re mine. Only difference is that I will never restrict you from wearing whatever you want again. I know you’re a little bit of an exhibitionist and you like the attention but I think I’m content with knowing that you’re mine, even if everyone stares at you a little too much.”
“Make me yours, then,” Yeonjun suggests coyly. “If you get possessive over me, you can fuck me as hard as you want, like you did last night.”
Amusement flickers on Beomgyu’s face. “When did this possessive kink of yours develop?”
Yeonjun laughs bashfully, rubbing his nape in embarrassment. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I don’t think your possessiveness was ever a problem in the past. I think, it was mostly me who was afraid to give you all of me. I was more restless and flightier back then. I wasn’t ready to be tied down. But over the years, I think all I want to do is find someone nice and settle down now. I’ve always loved you and I thought that I got over you, but it’s clear now that I haven’t. So, I can’t help but wonder if we can try this again. I want to, I really want to. I didn’t realise I’ve been missing you so much until now.”
This time around, it is Beomgyu who shifts on the bed to move closer to Yeonjun. A sweet smile is etched on his lips. All doubts and apprehensiveness are gone from his eyes.
“I’ve always loved you too, Jun,” Beomgyu responds tenderly. “You have no idea how much I’ve longed for you for the past two years.”
“I don’t,” Yeonjun admits apologetically. He really does not. “But that just means that I have to make it up to you, don’t I?”
Beomgyu scrunches his nose playfully before pulling Yeonjun close to him. “You have a lot of making up to do.”
Yeonjun settles down in Beomgyu’s arms blissfully. “I can’t wait, then.”