Chapter Text
Izuku had gone to bed sweating.
The month of June clearly hadn’t come to fuck around, even though it should be considered one of the “cooler” summer months.
Ha.
Everyone knew global warming was getting worse as each day, week, month, and year passed, but it still managed to create a country-wide shock to see the temperature reach above 98 and stay above 98. Izuku walked through the city one early afternoon and watched four people’s shoe soles melt off.
Yes, he counted. He decided to after poor contestant number two tripped and fell onto the burning hot asphalt after his flip-flop super-glued itself to the ground.
It’s been a torturous couple of weeks.
All their teachers have been forbidding the students to train in costume if possible to avoid the chance of heat stroke, or, for Kacchan’s sake, spontaneous combustion. Lord knows they don’t need any more opportunities for a lawsuit. Izuku is, if he is to be honest, thankful because he still has yet to come up with a summer version of his own costume. With all the support he needs it’s a bit difficult to not die of heat exhaustion even in the winter months.
Izuku had gone to bed sweating. Sweating beads, if he were to be specific. But he went to bed tired enough from a full-packed day.
Izuku had gone to bed sweating.
So why the hell did he dream cold, feeling like the beads of sweat on his forehead had suddenly turned to ice…
Cold hands hold Izuku’s cheeks like a delicate mug of hot coffee. Stroking the side with a thumb, wiping away any stray tears if not condensation.
His hands are cold. So so cold.
His breath is visible, leaving a trail in the air.
He doesn’t remember this memory being so cold…
“The kids wouldn’t let me play with them outside, Dad.”
Such a strange feeling. Bizarre. Hot fire full of dread in his chest and under his skin as the world slows. As time slows.
“I know, bubba.”
“If I can’t be a hero…what am I supposed to do? I don’t know what to do.”
Time is still moving, still weary. Yet, as each second decomposes and passes it feels like he’s been frozen into place.
“You find a way to distract yourself, Izuku.”
…
“I’m afraid that’s all you can do.”
Everyone’s doors fling open almost in sync.
Something wasn’t right and Izuku could see it on everyone’s blue lips and slight shiver in their summer PJs. He could feel it from his own sniffle and frozen fingers.
“What the hell is going on?” Tokoyami says, shaking what looks to be icicles off his feathers.
Izuku swallows, unaware of how he’s supposed to respond because he too has no idea what the hell is going on . He tries to rub his hands together to warm them up but it doesn’t do much for him.
Did they blast the air last night? Did Todoroki’s quirk malfunction?
“I don’t-” he starts before hearing his phone start to blow up with notifications on his desk. Glancing at his classmates he turns back into his room to grab it before it buzzes off the tabletop.
Immediately, Izuku is greeted by missed calls, news alerts, school alerts, and way too many texts from his class group chat. Rubbing a hand over his face down to his mouth, Izuku stands with his phone in his hand in the middle of his room confused and still groggy from just waking up.
It doesn’t help that it's so cold.
Why is it so cold?
The first notification he clicks is from Uraraka and it’s recent. He calls her and it takes two rings for her to pick up.
“Deku!”
Izuku flinches from the volume. “Woahhhh Uraraka, what's going on, are you ok?”
She sounds frazzled if not completely spooked.
“What?” She says back. “Dude, have you even looked out the window?”
Izuku physically pauses.
…why would he need to look outside?
Walking toward the window he rips his curtains to the side and is immediately blinded by bright white .
He winces, squinting to try and ease the intensity.
“Deku? Hello?”
His jaw drops once his eyes focus, leaving him holding the phone away from his ear.
What…
Snow. Every inch of ground, vegetation, and everything is covered with pure white. And it’s not a pretty winter wonderland white, it’s a dangerous white that can only be caused by a howling blizzard that rips through trees and kills people within minutes of exposure.
“You see it too right? I’m not crazy-“
“I-,” he stutters, closing the curtain. “I see it too.” He hangs up the phone before she can even get in another word.
What the fuck.
What.
His door opens and he spins around with a flinch.
“Midoriya…” Ayoama is holding his door open shivering with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Mineta and Tokoyami are behind him doing the same.
“Sensei wants us downstairs.”
Aizawa-sensei looks like a cold, wet, and pissed-off cat when Izuku sees him.
He’s waiting for the class downstairs, holding himself close in a thick puffy jacket still covered in snow and leaves. His hair is a mess and he looks terrible.
“Jesus, you look like shit,” Kacchan pipes up as soon as everyone’s eyes land on him.
“Yeah, well, I feel like shit,” he grumbles, refusing even to take his jacket off.
“Sensei, what is going on?” Iida asks, raising his hand above everyone else’s heads. Izuku can tell he is also not dealing well with this cold based on how his hand won’t stay still like it usually does.
The class nods, crossing their arms in the hope to stay a bit warmer. Some glance at Todoroki and he looks back confused.
“Hey, I may hate my dad but not this much.”
Izuku catches Ashido in the corner of his eye holding Tsuyu close with two blankets wrapped around her. She looks drowsy, barely awake, and obviously fighting a forced hibernation.
Sensei pulls his hood off and shakes out his soggy hair in an attempt to feel a little less gross. It clearly doesn’t help because it sticks to his forehead and he frowns.
“Seems like a villain or whoever was sick of this heat more than us,” he sighs. “A weather quirk released a winter storm early this morning and it shows no signs of stopping.”
The class groans. Izuku himself finds a cringe on his lips. Sure, the heat was deemed sufferable by a lot of people including himself, but even this is a lot.
“Do we have any idea who is to blame yet?” Yaoyorozu asks, teeth chattering.
Their teacher shakes his head. “No, but we currently have every hero physically able to move through this weather looking as we speak. But, as you’d expect, it's taking a while because these conditions are ridiculous.”
“I’d second that,” Sero shakes his head. “It’s freezing in here, I can’t imagine outside.”
“The heat should be on soon, it’s just delayed because our entire system got fried,” their teacher adds right after. “In the meantime, Yaoyorozu, if you don’t mind I will need you to create a couple of space heaters for the rooms to warm them up.”
She nods. “Yeah, I should be able to do that.”
Sensei moves his eyes to the general location of the class. “In the meantime, you all should stay in the common space. It may sound dumb to you all, but the body heat will help as well as the blankets and other accommodations till we get the heat on.”
Izuku hears Kacchan click his tongue, annoyed. He doesn’t blame him.
“How long will things be like this?” Kirishima asks, glancing at his classmates. “I assume we aren’t allowed to leave, considering you almost died getting here and you’re a two-minute walk away.”
Sensei shoves his hands into his pockets and sighs. Long.
“That’s the rough part. Considering the conditions are so aggressive, we have no lead, and there is probably a limit on the quirk, I would expect at least a week if not longer.”
“WHAT?!” Everyone yells, nearly startling their teacher in the process.
Izuku feels his face pale.
“How?!” Kaminari groans, covering his face with his hands. “There is no way-”
“Whoever is responsible has completely altered the weather patterns around the city, and until we find the person responsible or someone else with a weather quirk strong enough to reverse this storm, we are stuck waiting,” Aizawa-sensei interrupts him before he can finish.
A week? If not more?
Waiting around inside has never really been…well Izuku’s favorite thing in the world.
Izuku swallows. He was supposed to work on black whip more with All Might this week and next. The class was gonna go to the pool and do another training day since they had Friday off. He was supposed to go to his usual cafe to study for his exams since he finished all his homework. There was so much he was supposed to do and needed to do to distract himself and keep him away from-
Something smacks into his ribs and he snaps his head to the side. It scares him a little and he almost yelps.
Uraraka is looking at him with a raised brow. “You ok?” She whispers. “You’re muttering but in a kinda panicky way.”
Izuku’s mouth curls into a small and short smile. He nods, trying not to make it look forced but he’s probably failing.
“Yeah…sorry I’m just shocked I guess.”
Uraraka smiles back concerningly. “Alright…”
Fuck…
He hasn’t slowed down once, or even really “taken a break”. Not since the day All Might picked him to inherit his power.
It’s embarrassing to say the only times he’d have “breaks” were when he was hospitalized.
Izuku scratches at his wrists, looking back over to Aizawa-sensei and tuning back in.
“I don’t care what you guys do, just don’t burn the place down. Take it as a well-deserved break or whatever before your upcoming exams.” Sensei pauses. “You should be good with food and supplies in the kitchen but please message us if you are running low or need anything. Don’t be surprised if the power goes out, just give us a call and we will get it fixed.”
“Is there anything else you need from us sensei?” Izuku speaks before thinking, and his tone comes off as a plea.
He gets a head shake in response.
“No, problem child, all I need is for you all to stay put.” He eyes Izuku strongly. “Got it?”
Izuku avoids eye contact, nodding. “Yes, sensei.” He knows that was a direct call out but he won’t make a comment.
The class nods their heads. “Yes, sensei.”
“Good,” their teacher says, adjusting himself and his coat. “I need to go back and get things situated in our building but do what I say for once. Enjoy your free time, kids.”
“Thank you, sensei,” most of the class mutters as their teacher pushes through the door into a mess of cold white. The door swings open from the wind.
Iida has to run behind and grab the door, slamming it shut because it nearly ran out into the storm with him. He turns around, already ready for a day of nothing.
“Alright class, like sensei said, let’s all head to the common room and get those space heaters made.”
“Yeah yeah, you got it prez,” Sero says, rolling his eyes with a salute.
Everyone is still in their pajamas. Exposed.
Izuku becomes fully aware all of a sudden and he crosses his arms over his chest which bears a very cringy All Might second-generation limited edition t-shirt.
This is going to be a long week.
“Thanks for getting those space heaters set up, Momo,” Ashido sighs with relief, holding her hands out in front of one of them with Tsuyu next to her, already perking up a little.
“It was no problem,” she replies shyly. She looks exhausted.
There's no doubt, really. Izuku knows Yaoyorozu runs off the lipids in her body and it’s early in the morning. There’s a very low chance she’s eaten.
No one has yet.
His knee bobs on the couch and he picks at the skin around his nails, ripping off a big chunk.
“So-“ Uraraka starts but Izuku jumps out of his seat and it startles her.
“Anyone want anything to eat? I think the electricity is working fine minus the heat,” Izuku says, practically bouncing like a hyper dog. He glances at Yaoyorozu and she relaxes, looking relieved .
Lord knows he would have appreciated little acts like this in middle school.
“Uh, sure yeah I’d love something,” Uraraka blinks, still a little taken back. “Are you planning on making breakfast?”
He nods, turning toward the kitchen. “Yeah I’m just uh…hungry and I thought I’d offer.”
He’s not hungry. To be honest, he hates eating early in the morning because it makes him nauseous.
And he would be lying if he said he was doing this just for Yaororozu’s sake.
No one responds fast enough so he bites his lip and opens a cabinet, grabbing a skillet. He takes a breath, turning with a small smile.
“How about pancakes?”
A hand grabs Izuku’s shoulder and he jumps, nearly throwing the sponge and spatula he was cleaning. Suds fly up and hit his shirt.
“Oh shit- sorry I’ve got to stop doing this to you,” Uraraka winces, holding her hands up as he turns to look at her.
Izuku takes a breath, fighting to grab at his heart.
“What’s up?” He asks, turning back to the sink. The water is freezing, and having a hard time warming up. He’s gonna have to remember to keep the sink on a little so the pipes don’t freeze and later burst…
“Are you ok? Seriously,” she asks, leaning her back against the counter, and handing her plate to him. He grabs it, setting it in the sink.
He raises a brow and she rolls her eyes.
“You cooked everyone breakfast, all 20 of us, and you insisted you cleaned every dish even though Iida almost fought you to do it himself,” she chuckles, clearly remembering when Iida nearly tackled him to do the dishes. Izuku almost scruffed him like a cat. “You’ve also seemed a bit skittish ever since sensei said we were stuck here.”
Izuku shakes his head, setting the spatula on the drying rack. “Yeah I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” He gives her a quick glance. “I just like to be helpful and I’m a bit antsy.”
A slight fib.
“Okay…” she says, trailing off. “Well, breakfast was great, as always. Let me know if you need any help, Deku.” She pats his shoulder. “We are gonna watch a movie till the heat turns on so come and join us when you’re done, ok?”
He smiles. “You got it.”
As soon as she leaves his smile falters and he goes back to dishes, zoning out as he soaks the pan. He starts to try and think about what he can do this week, and how he can keep himself busy. He could study, but he already knows if he over studies it will do him no good mentally.
Maybe he will give All Might a call after this…
Izuku feels a strong presence sneak from the side. If it weren't for the warmth and familiar smell of sugar and Mistuki’s laundry detergent, he would have jumped like with Uraraka earlier.
Messy morning hair and a faded skull t-shirt are the first things he sees when he turns his head.
“Oh-“
A tired mutter. Kacchan is scraping the tiny remains of pancake off his plate into the trash, setting it by the small pile on the counter.
He’s being oddly gentle right now. He even was earlier too when he took the food Izuku made without any question, comment, or argument.
He blinks, looking at the blonde. Izuku knows that ever since childhood, Kacchan has been a quiet and cooperative person in the mornings. It’s one thing that’s stayed consistent with him. And sure, things have been a bit better between the two of them lately ever since last semester. Things have become more casual- training, little conversations in the kitchen, even studying in the lounge. It was slow paced, but…better. Actually talking about your feelings helps. Shocker.
Though…even this was odd and took him by surprise.
Izuku raises his brow. Okay…
Kacchan mutters again, it's so soft it almost scares Izuku.
“What was that, Kacchan?"
Kacchan scowls, shaking his head.
“I said you’re slow as fucking shit, it’s annoying.”
Ok, that’s normal.
“Uh…ok,” he narrows his eyes, looking back down at the sink and the suds floating around each dish.
Kacchan walks off quietly, leaving Izuku with a raised brow.
There’s definitely something stirring within this winter air…
Izuku’s writing in his journal in his room when his phone buzzes.
He hates to say it’s a habit, but he sees the caller and snatches it by ring two.
“All Might!” He says cheerfully, setting down his pen and leaning back in his chair.
“My boy! How are you doing?” His mentor responds, sounding chipper as always.
“Uh…”
Izuku wants to say he’s doing the best he can in the given situation. That he is itching to go on a run or even bake something for god's sake when he’s not the greatest by a long shot.
But he doesn’t.
“I’m doing pretty good,” he lies. “Though it’s going to be weird not training or doing school for once.”
All Might chuckles. “I know you’re buzzing to get out, kid. You and I both.” A pause. “But I think you needed a break and unfortunately it took the weather to tell you to do so.”
Izuku bites at his lip, ripping off a piece of skin. It stings and he can already taste the blood-forming.
“I’m fine, All Might, you know I can handle everything.”
A sigh. “I know you can, that’s what worries me you know?”
Izuku clears his throat and looks off to the side, itching to move on from this conversation.
“How are things over in the teacher dorms?”
All Might is quiet for a long second. “Boring,” he says with a small chuckle. “But Midnight and I are playing a game to see how long it takes for Mic and Aizawa to slip up and flirt out in the open.”
“Aren’t they married?” Izuku questions. “Or at least dating? I’d be surprised if they weren’t.”
“Ha! I would be stabbed in my sleep if I disclosed that information, kid.”
Izuku shakes his head, smiling. “Don’t worry, I’ll find out eventually.”
“I know you will, young Midoriya,” his teacher laughs.
It’s quiet for a moment between the two of them.
“Well, it’s getting late, my boy. You better get off to bed, ok?”
“Ok, All Might,” he says, wishing he could stay on the phone with him all night. Or till he drifts to sleep.
“Good night, Midoriya.”
“...night, All Might.”
Izuku presses the end button, tossing his phone to the side. He sighs, leaning forward so he can rest his head in his hands. He turns, adjusting himself so his hand rests on his cheek. His curtains are still shoved to the side, revealing the grey clouds and still-falling snow. It’s calmed down a little, but not enough to show signs of stopping. It hasn’t even been a day.
Though the circumstances are sour, he won’t lie, the snow is pretty in its own way. It never snows like this in Japan, at least not in these parts. Sure, they get the snowfall and the ice and the chance to bundle up in warm clothes. Snow days and rough traffic.
But this kind of weather is far from abnormal, it’s almost intriguing. Do other countries get snow like this normally? It’s even more interesting to think someone’s quirk has the ability to create such a storm. The ability to shut an entire town down like it's a plague.
That makes Izuku’s head turn back to his notebook. He grabs his pen.
There is a general assumption that the person responsible simply was tired of the unbearable heat. But what if that wasn’t the case? He flips to a new page, tapping his chin.
Snow storms especially lock people inside. Isolate the general population and hinder heroes or anyone for that matter from doing their jobs. Crops die, heating and electricity become finicky, and plumbing can burst and lead to a lack of water sources. People can freeze to death if stuck, or suffer from frostbite which has irreversible effects. People with animal quirks can even go into forced hibernation, Tsuyu for example. Not to mention, with the roads in such bad conditions, people aren’t able to get food or other resources easily. Seasonal depression is imminent with the cloud cover and lack of vitamin D. Emergency vehicles can’t travel fast enough, even with snow plows doing the best they can. There’s no end to the issues storms like this cause.
If put into the wrong hands, a weather quirk like this can kill hundreds if not thousands of people all at once. It’s incredible if not utterly terrifying. Who knows what will happen within a week of this current storm?
God…what if-
“I swear to god, Midoriya, these walls are so thin I can hear everything you are saying and your muttering is unbearable,” Mineta’s voice calls from the other side of his wall, muffled. “Go to bed.”
Izuku habitually slaps a hand over his mouth, though there is no one in his room to see.
“Sorry…” he apologizes with a wince. The deja vu hits hard.
He hasn’t muttered like that in a while. Jeez…
Looking down at his notebook he glances at the absolute chicken scratch of thoughts before closing it. He shakes his head and rubs his cracked lips with his fingers. His eyes find his clock, noting that it’s a bit past ten.
He’s not even tired. On a usual school night, he’d be knocked out cold by nine from exhaustion.
His knee bobs as he pinches at his bottom lip for a moment. In middle school, he’d be up for hours if not full nights because he developed bad insomnia from…yeah.
He never had healthy distractions or a way to exercise consistently. He never had friends either to keep him busy…
It’s almost funny how quiet the long nights are and how much louder the internal thoughts are.
Izuku shakes his head, shoving himself up and out of his desk chair. He needs to do something to clear his head. Shower, pace, write, read, meditate, god. He hates being in his room…
He decides to go with the idea of showering. Walking into the bathroom he turns on the water and strips. Luckily, the heating is working better now and it doesn’t take too long for the water to steam and burn his skin when he touches it.
He takes a 30-minute shower, trying not to feel bad for using up the hot water. To be honest it wasn’t on purpose entirely. He zoned out halfway through washing his hair, only realizing he was close to dissociating when he got soap right in his eye.
Sighing, Izuku wipes a streak of steam off his mirror and stares at himself. The drain drips, itching at his ears as he brushes his wet hair from his face.
It’ll be ok…the week will go by fast and there will be no issues…
He has friends this time, maybe they will help distract him…oh, who is he kidding he’s never been the type to just “hang out” with people.
He will be fine.
He will be fine.
…he won’t relapse…right?
Izuku shakes his head, appalled by that sudden thought. If he even thinks about it he will start scratching at his skin like an addict and run straight for the box under his bed. He groans, turning and opening his bathroom door to get out of the ticker air.
He gets dressed and checks his clock. Fuck… it’s not even 11 yet. He’s not tired, not even slightly. Izuku is too anxious and, well, aware. If he even tries to go to sleep he will just end up staring at his ceiling for hours and that’s just torture.
Maybe he can go downstairs and make some tea?
His phone buzzes again but it’s just a text this time. Raising a brow, he grabs it to look at the ID only to see it is the class group chat.
Oh god.
—
The class 1-A shithole:
Kaminari: the cold weather has fucked up my nose so now I must breathe through the respiratory
Ashido: Kami that wasn’t a correct sentence
Uraraka: Hello???
Kaminari: I am having a stroke
Bakugou: congratulations
Kaminari: Thank you!
Midoriya: Kacchan, why are you awake
Bakugou: none of your fucking business
Kirishima: awwww Grandpa is cranky because his phone woke him up
Bakugou: kill. your. self
Kirishima: aye aye captain *salute emoji*
Kirishima: anyway, moving on
Midoriya: Kirishima-
Bakugou: why are you awake shit nerd
Jirou: do I sense care?
Bakugou: I will literally kill you and then myself
Kaminari: wow double whammy this time
Jirou: square up mommy issues, you won’t
Ashido: :D ?
Kirishima: Jirou stop he actually might
Midoriya: oh dear GOD
Midoriya: also I’m just not tired yet, ok?
Tokoyami: clearly none of you are
Bakugou: that’s obviously a fucking excuse but go off Deku
Uraraka: HELLO??
Todoroki: what is going on
Tsuyu: violence
Midoriya: Kacchan, why does it matter?
Jirou: here we go
Bakugou: because you’re being a fucking hypocrite?
Bakugou: You dense piece of shit??
Midoriya: Do you want to try that again??
Kaminari: bruh
Iida: EVERYONE GO TO BED IT IS LATE!
Sero: uh oh prez has been awoken
Sero: awaken? Awoken?
Kirishima: eh, tomato tomato
Kaminari: pussy pussy
Midoriya: what
Jirou: what
Kaminari: you know, pussy pussy but like
Kaminari: tomato tomato
Jirou: there is no alternative pronunciation of pussy Denki
Kaminari: poosi
Ashido: I'm sorry?
Kirishima: nobody says poosi unless they’re French, Kaminari
Yaoyorozu: that is absolutely not correct but good try
Kirishima: how would you know, you’re not French
Kaminari: yeah, we all know French people don’t really exist
Aoyoma: I beg your pardon?
Ashido: oh shit
Iida: ENOUGH
Midoriya: I’m just gonna-
Bakugou: Jesus fucking Christ
Kaminari: come on, you love us Kacchan
Midoriya: oh yeah, I’m leaving bye
Bakugou: Get fucking bent sparky
—
Izuku shuts off his phone before he can read what happens next. He can only handle the group chat for so long.
He sighs, grabbing his towel and throwing it into his bathroom while turning off its light and fan.
Tea sounds good…maybe it will help him drift off easier.
Grabbing his room key and his slippers he steps out, still holding his now silenced phone.
As Izuku shuffles down the hall and toward the elevator, he glances down at his phone. Something is itching at him like an uncut tag on the back of his neck. The group wasn’t acting out of the ordinary- no matter how much it appears the opposite. But something about Kacchan…
Izuku clicks his tongue. It’s probably nothing. Most likely the usual banter and cranky behavior.
But still.
Izuku presses the elevator button, surprised when it immediately dings and opens. He steps in, exhaling. Something about that conversation was just bugging him more than usual.
School was getting worse and he isn’t even a third year.
Not just because the teachers have been harsher on midterm grading, or Kacchan getting nastier in the halls and outside school grounds- burning his clothes till they fell apart.
School was getting worse because Izuku didn't know how to cope properly.
The school nurse- who for some reason pities him- told him he’s definitely got some bit of anxiety if not other forms of mental illness. It sounded scary to hear from an adult.
That he wasn’t normal in the head on top of his abnormality within the quirked society.
She pointed it out when her eyes caught his bobbing knee, distant stare, and skin-picking. How he made sure to make his presence so small she barely noticed him in the main office. But no, there’s no way he does it because of anxiety. He just does this because he has no other choice but to distract himself or make others realize he doesn't exist.
He told the nurse he was ok but she wouldn’t let him leave till she told him to find better-coping mechanisms. To find a hobby or something that keeps him from dissociating or picking at his skin till it bleeds. He told her he had plenty of hobbies, walking out after getting bandages and a shitty school ice pack.
He doesn’t leave home, not unless it's with his mom or for school. But he wasn’t about to admit that to her.
“I’m home!” Izuku calls, kicking his shoes off as he shuts the door. There is no response back.
“Mom?”
He throws his backpack on the couch before walking into the kitchen. There is a small slip of paper on the table and he doesn’t need to look at it to know his mom is out. Probably working late tonight…as always. Distracting herself till she drops.
Izuku opens the fridge and finds a Tupperware with dinner in it and a little sticky note with heating instructions. He’s not hungry.
He usually isn’t.
Shutting it, he walks out of the kitchen and heads up to his room- ignoring his school bag on the couch.
He spends the next couple of hours just sitting in his room, almost wishing he was telling the truth when he said he had hobbies. He doesn’t count writing in his notebook because that can only take him so far. All that runs through his head can be too much to write down on paper.
Too much to acknowledge.
He sits up from his bed, letting his feet fall to the ground so they can bob up and down. God, he probably looks crazy…
Groaning with frustration, Izuku grabs his hair and pulls. He feels like he is stuck in here because of a pandemic. The plague. God, he can easily go out for a walk or a run, he can go to a coffee shop and people watch, but he just…
His mind is screaming but his body won’t move the way he wants it to. It’s like it knows there is no point. That even if he tried he will just feel so fucking lonely no matter what.
He’s trapped, and he needs something to make this torturous thing called time go by faster.
Izuku goes back downstairs and into the kitchen. Maybe if he eats, or makes tea, or coffee, or something it will help kill some time.
He swings the fridge door open a little too fast and it smacks into the cabinets. He winces but stops when an unusual clanging sings behind the cabinet he hit. Raising a brow, he shuts the fridge and reaches for the cabinet handle, pulling it open. Cups…bowls…the usual stuff in here.
But what he heard…
Izuku stands on his toes, looking above the dishes when a little glint of gold and crystal catches his eye.
What the hell?
He climbs up onto the counter and starts to push stuff out of the way, setting some stuff down on the counter beside him. That’s when he sees it.
His dad's old whisky bottles- half full and some untouched.
Boxes of cigarettes and a shiny silver lighter. He knows those are his too, just by looking at the brand and the symbol on the lighter. A dragon.
Izuku’s lips part as he reaches forward and grabs the lighter, stroking a thumb over the carved design. He feels each groove and untouched spots of soot left behind, ready like it was just used yesterday.
His father loved that thing and Izuku always found it ironic, if not sort of funny. Even though he could spit fire like the dragon on his lighter he still used it every single day. Lighting a cigarette- and occasional joint, though his mother still doesn’t know- like it was his last, savoring the flame by his fingertips. He used to say the badass cowboys in pre-quirk ages would do it that way, so he just had to as well.
He also used to say it somehow felt better doing things like a normal human being.
God his mom hated that he smoked, hated that he insisted he killed himself slowly with his expensive, neatly rolled tobacco.
But his dad always argued back with a sweet smile. Said it helped pass the time.
It’s funny that she still has this part of him. Even after he died she kept even his worst of habits, because they were his.
Ever since he died she hasn’t been the same. Less present, less loving. Short and bitter.
More…distracted. He genuinely cannot tell if she is angry at the world, or angry at his father for leaving this earth. Even though it wasn’t his fault.
Either way, she hasn’t been the same mother since he passed away a couple of years ago.
Izuku takes a breath before grabbing one of the boxes of cigarettes. He slides off the counter and puts back the bowls and cups neatly as if never disturbed.
He looks down at the box, flicking open the top. His mother always made sure to drill into his brain that smoking was a bad habit, an even worse hazard to your health. He knows it’s bad. God, he knows.
But the way Izuku could always see the stress and anxiety melt right off his dad’s shoulders as soon as he pressed his lips to a cigarette…
The way he always wished he could feel the same feeling of euphoria with him.
And…everyone has to try everything at least once, right? Lord knows he isn’t out in the world making stupid choices with friends. Might as well make them himself.
Izuku walks upstairs, clutching his new finds. He reaches his room and slides open his window and screens swiftly. It’s like muscle memory, he taps the bottom of the box and pulls out a clean untouched roll.
The paper is dry on his lips and he can already smell its awful, sticky stench. But he ignores it soon enough. He pushes every single thing down as he flicks the lighter and holds it under the fresh tip of the cigarette.
Just like Dad.
He inhales, not realizing at the time just how big his mistake really was.
He exhales.