Chapter Text
“Iron Man,” Steve called to him as the training wrapped up. Everyone else continued to exit the gym, chatting with each other.
Tony paused in the doorway to let Steve jog up to him, even as the others continued to file out past them. Clint, who Tony had been chatting with, looked up at his faceplate meaningfully and winked as he exited the room. Tony could feel a goofy smile on his face, but with his mask in place there was no one to judge him. “Hey, Spangles,” he said warmly, facing Steve.
Things between the two of them had passed casual flirting months ago. It had gotten to the point that just being in the same room as Steve made Tony feel warm and excited. It was like being a teenager again with a crush. And he didn’t think Steve was doing much better. They had started hanging out just the two of them more often, and it started to feel less like friendly fun and more like dating. It was edging into something almost serious. And instead of being afraid of a relationship, for the first time in a long time Tony felt exhilaration and joy over the possibility of what they could be.
It was different, this build up. It brought him the kind of joy you could only get from slowly falling in love with your best friend.
“I wanted to ask you if you were free Friday night,” Steve said, his face open and friendly. He could have probably come across all cool, calm and collected if not for the Irish skin that betrayed him. He was getting an endearing splotchy reddening across parts of his face and ears. “I thought maybe the two of us could have a movie night.”
And God, how could anyone not just feel special and eager for more when faced with someone like Steve. “Friday movie, huh? Sounds like you’re asking me on a date,” Tony teased just to watch the red darken quickly.
But Steve smiled brightly, even as his eyes darted to the floor shyly. “Oh good, I didn’t think I was being too subtle.”
Tony chuckled, delighted, but felt the elephant in the room stepping on his toes. “If you…I mean if the two of us were really going to be serious about this--err..it’s just that dating someone probably would be kind of difficult if you didn’t know their name.”
Steve’s eyes snapped back up to the faceplate of the armor, wide and wondering. “I don’t think it’s trusting me that’s holding you back from sharing your identity Iron Man, not with how often we’ve been putting our lives in each other’s hands. But if you needed more time…I think Iron Man would be enough of a name to start with, don’t you?”
And it was downright touching how sincere Steve was. He’d date some faceless man in armor, waiting for the day when his knight would rip off his mask and ride off into the sunset. But that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. And at this point, it didn’t feel necessary. Tony did trust Steve with every fiber of his being. The Avengers were his family, and it was time to start treating them like it.
Tony took a step closer to Steve and he could see the light of the suit reflected in Steve’s eyes as he stared him in the face. “The thing is…it wouldn’t feel right to just tell you. If I were going to be unmasking myself I think it would have to be for the whole team.”
Steve’s eyes went round and hopeful. But like he was trying to pull it back, dial down his desire for that. He licked his lips and then, “We’d be honored.”
Tony snorted, the speakers letting out a strange echo that always made Steve smile. “I think it’s long overdue.”
Steve’s answering grin was as brilliant as it was delighted. “Yeah?”
It felt easy. “We have a team meeting on Wednesday. Might be a good time for everyone to meet me.”
Steve threw himself at the armor so quickly that Tony barely had time to put his arms up to return the embrace. The Captain’s arms circled around his neck and pulled him forward slightly. “Everyone’s going to be so thrilled.”
“Ahh don’t get too excited,” Tony told him, leaning into Steve’s body. “I’m not really all that thrilling.”
“You are,” Steve told him. “You’re my favorite thing about the future.”
They stood like that for a little while and Tony imagined he could almost feel the warmth of Steve through the suit. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been so happy. So sure of where he was meant to be. And when Steve finally pulled back he was still sporting a charming smile just for Iron Man.
“We can maybe pick out a movie after the meeting Wednesday to watch on Friday,” Tony offered, feeling weirdly shy all of a sudden.
But Steve just continued to beam at him, nodding. “Sounds perfect.”
Tony spent any and all freetime he had that week in a haze, perfecting gifts for the Avengers. He figured the unmasking would be less awkward if he had exciting new gizmos for them each to act as a buffer. And as he worked he imagined what it would be like to hang out with them all without the suit.
Natasha would likely insist on him joining hand-to-hand training with her to work on his fighting abilities without the suit. And Bruce would be glad to be relieved of the pressure of being the only genius on the team--someone who he could work with on team problems. His relationship with Clint would only get closer now that Clint would feel more comfortable giving full reviews to Tony about his arrows as he worked. As Iron Man they’d practically grown a brotherly relationship. Even Thor would be easier to get close to. Everything would change, but also nothing.
And Steve. God he could really give him a hug with his own arms. Give his hero a kiss after saving the day. They could go on dates, and share inside jokes at galas, and neither of them would ever have to be alone again.
He packed his box of peace offerings for the team and got ready for the meeting with a pounding heart. They’d met Tony Stark loads of times, but the interactions were always so removed and impersonal. It felt like he’d be meeting them for the first time, which was ridiculous since he basically knew each of his teammates inside and out.
Tony was so eager he was early for the meeting by nearly 20 minutes, so he busied himself in the room by going over the notes from last time. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Steve got there. Because of course Steve was usually there first, and he had Natasha with him.
“Iron Man,” he greeted Tony like it was any other meeting but he was beaming at him, looking utterly full of restless energy.
“Hey Winghead,” Tony said back, knowing that Steve could hear the smile in his tone. “Hi, Tasha.”
Natasha looked between the two of them silently with a raised eyebrow but then shook her head. “You guys are acting weird.”
Tony laughed giddily and raised up his hands. “What do you expect? We’re weird guys.” He was sure Natasha must have some sort of inkling of what would be happening during the meeting--or at least know something big was coming. She had a head for that sort of thing. Not that it mattered much in this case.
“Now that’s very true,” Clint agreed, strolling into the meeting room with a bowl of cereal. “No one on this team could ever be classified as even remotely normal. In fact the person who is the most normal on this team is probably Bruce and he turns into a giant rage monster.”
“Thanks Clint,” Bruce said, looking completely unbothered as he took his seat.
Thor was the last to arrive, but even he was a couple minutes early for the typical start time of the meeting. Everyone just sat around chatting. It was nice, feeling like a part of the big family there.
“Uh--before we got started I have some new toys from Mr. Stark,” Tony said, popping the box open. Hopefully with the others a little buttered up before the great reveal, they’d be a little more willing to forgive the years of necessary lies he’d been pulling.
He popped open the box as Clint scoffed. “God he’s such a dick, thinking all this new equipment will help us ignore the fact that he’s a greedy, nasty bastard all the time.”
“Jesus, Clint. He financially supports the Avengers entirely,” Natasha chided, looking interestedly at the box. “He hears you talking shit like that and he’s going to stop wanting to be your sugar daddy.”
Tony bit back a rueful smile even from behind the mask. Clint was probably about to feel pretty embarrassed and awkward when Iron Man pulled off his helmet.
But Clint rolled his eyes at her and crossed his arm. “You can’t tell me you’re not a little sick of feeling like we’re being bought off. Some asshole rich kid with a superiority complex throws his money at us so he looks like he’s a good guy. I can’t stand him.”
That couldn’t be right-could it? Everytime Tony spoke to Clint as himself their conversations had been friendly if not warm. He’d had the impression that Clint had thought him charming as Tony Stark.
“Gosh, Clint, tell me how you really feel about my boss,” Iron Man said, tossing a new communicator to him from the box.
Clint caught it but barely even looked at it. “Hey I’m serious. I feel really bad for you. I can’t even stand being in the same room as Stark for more than a few minutes. His ego is the size of this building. Natasha and I were just talking last week about how much we wish you were payrolled with Shield instead of him. He’s shady.”
Tony was surprised when it was Bruce who agreed with him of all people. “He’s a genius and he knows it. I’ve met a lot of guys like him in my life, guys who always think they know best. You’re best off avoiding them as much as you can and not making an enemy out of them.”
Hadn’t the two of them connected on an intellectual level? Had Tony imagined the brainy camaraderie when he’d shown Bruce his new lab? Had that all been a facade to appease the eccentric billionaire?
Thor nodded in agreement. “Aye, you’re better off being careful with men like Stark. I would not grant him trust with ease.”
Tony wanted to disappear. He hadn’t known they’d felt that way. That everyone here hated him that much. To read stories in the papers from reporters chasing a good story about how much of sleezy, womanizer Tony Stark he was could get old. But this was the Avengers. They stood for everything that was good in the world, everything that Tony believed in. He trusted their judgment 100%.
“Steve,” Tony tried, feeling the words barely being able to get out of his throat. “What do you think of Stark?”
Steve looked up from the communicator he’d been investigating to look right at Tony. “He’s one of the least trustworthy people I’ve met in the future.” He gave a small shrug of indifference and then said, “But I don’t have to like him to work with him as infrequently as I do. He might be a tough guy to like, but as long as he keeps helping out the Avengers I can be nice. Besides, I’m sure Howard wouldn’t approve if I couldn’t make nice with his son. But we’d all be wise to remember everything he does is for himself.”
It was like getting thrown a bucket of cold water at him. It was one thing for them to not think of Tony Stark as a friend. But to actively think of him as a bad guy. For Steve to actually dislike him--Steve didn’t dislike anyone. Everytime Steve had politely smiled at Tony at the galas and made small talk…had he been thinking he was just honoring the memory of Howard?
“Right,” Tony agreed numbly. It was pathetic really, the way his eyes watered. When had he forgotten who he was? Had he thought all of this flashy work as Iron Man had changed him? He was still Tony Stark. He was still…there were some things not even time could change or forgive.
Steve kicked off the meeting, going through various updates about mission success rates and long-term team goals. He was completely unaware of the spiral Iron Man had been left to journey. But Tony couldn’t really focus anymore on the meeting.
Had he deluded himself into forgetting that Iron Man wasn’t real? Tony Stark wasn’t the kind of person that heroes wanted to be associated with unless it was for a quick photo in exchange for money to save the world. Tony Stark was the kind of guy who stepped on other people to get where he was in the world. He was a greedy, selfish businessman who’s only redeeming quality was what he could provide.
These people were heroes. They could see right into the heart of Tony Stark. They knew exactly who he was. A bad guy pretending to be something else when the camera’s were on him.
And if Iron Man took off his mask, that’s all Iron Man would be too.
“And that’s really all we needed to cover today,” Steve said, clapping his hands together. He was grinning widely, eyes on Tony. It was probably the fastest the meeting had ever gone. It could probably be chalked up to Steve’s excitement; he was practically vibrating with it. “So, Iron Man, there was something you wanted to tell the group?”
Tony was going to ruin Iron Man and his place on the team.
“No.”
Steve’s smile froze in place, uncertainty lighting up around his eyes. “No?”
Everyone at the table had to notice the sudden tension. Everyone went terribly still, eyes on Tony and Steve. Bruce even set down his coffee cup in interest.
He had spent years wearing that helmet and saving the world. Iron Man was a hero who worked hard, acted selflessly in the face of danger, and worked with a team that trusted him so implicitly that they’d launch themselves into the sky knowing he’d catch them. But Tony Stark was a self-absorbed playboy with too much money and not enough empathy. He threw his money at the Avengers for PR, and he dragged them to galas to make himself look good. Tony wasn’t someone they could trust. He wasn’t someone they could even like.
Tony had to clear his throat, which in the suit sounded more like a cough, to say, “No. I only had the items from Mr. Stark today. If anyone has any questions about the new communicators you can ask him--or I guess you can ask me to ask him. If that would be better.”
An awkward silence followed. Steve’s smile was slowly sliding away and he almost looked hurt.
Thor, who was seated just to the left of Steve, gave him a slight nudge that would have been a decent subtle gesture if everyone wasn’t staring Steve down.
Steve jumped slightly but recovered quickly. “I see. Okay, yeah. Then um. I’ll pass around the newest schedule for team trainings.” Steve’s movements were stiff and careful as he passed out papers, not even looking at Iron Man’s helmet. The rest of the meeting followed a similar format. And everyone could feel the tension.
“Well that should be it for today I guess. And I guess the meeting is adjourned.”
“Great,” Clint said brightly, “because that was awkward as fuck.” And then he jerked upright slightly and glared at Natasha who was sat across from him. “Ow!”
She just glared at him for a moment and then looked back between Tony and Steve. “Are we sure everything is good?”
“Yeah,” Tony said, not turning away from Steve. “Everything is totally fine.”
Bruce stood abruptly and took his coffee cup with him. “Alright then, I guess I’ll head back to my lab. Good meeting everyone.” He gave a significant look at Thor who nodded and stood as well.
“Aye, I should be on my way as well.”
Natasha practically dragged Clint out of the room behind the two of them, and none of them looked back. It was unlikely that any of them had even known what was supposed to happen that day. But the sudden uncertainty between Steve and Tony was probably very obvious.
As soon as the room was empty, Steve sat back down in his chair slowly. “Sorry. I guess that was my fault. I just thought that you were going to…”
“I know. I wanted to,” Tony agreed quickly. And then he looked down. “But after we talked, I thought it over again. I realized that revealing my identity would be a mistake. I should have told you before the meeting started.”
Steve looked so small. He looked hurt and unsure. His eyes had a light gleam on them like they were threatening to tear up. “I see,” he said in a soft tone. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Inside the suit Tony had to press his lips tightly together to hold back a sob. It wasn’t fair. There was no good way to handle the situation. He’d thoughtlessly gone charging in, once again only thinking of himself. He hadn’t thought about how much damage he could do to the team. To Steve.
“I’m sorry, Cap. There’s just circumstances outside of our control that make it impossible.”
Steve nodded at that, a forced smile briefly flickering across his face. “That’s too bad, Iron Man. I was really looking forward to looking you in the eyes.” He set his fingertips on the conference table tapped lightly. “I guess we’ll take a raincheck for that movie night, huh?”
Tony had to close his eyes at that, shutting out the man and escaping the moment. It wasn’t fair. Never in his life had he despised Tony Stark so much. He wished he was someone else. Anyone else. The kind of person who could deserve someone like Steve Rogers.
“I really am sorry, Steve.”
And it occurred to him then, quite suddenly, what the team hating Tony Stark really meant. Iron Man had the excuse of all excuses.
“Mr. Stark forbid me from revealing my identity,” he blurted out without even thinking it through.
Steve straightened and silenced immediately, his eyes going wide. “Excuse me? Your boss said you couldn’t tell us your identity?”
“Mr. Stark said I’m his employee, and we had an agreement when I started. I signed a lot of paperwork to have this job and we had agreed I’d keep a secret identity.”
“To the world! Not to your team!” Steve argued, standing so abruptly that his chair slid back and hit the ground. But he paid it no mind. He looked furious, enraged at the injustice for Iron Man.
Tony slumped in the armor, resting his arms on the table in front of him. “He could always get someone else to pilot the suit, Steve. It’s his.”
“He can’t do that. You’re a part of the Avengers, not the suit. You.”
“Steve,” Tony said, feeling like the world’s smallest man. “He’s richer than God. He can do whatever he wants. I’m sorry, but this is just how this is.”
And Steve, protector of the bullied, downtrodden, and needy, gazed at Iron Man like they were mid-mission. His eyes were narrowed in determination, his hands clenched in fists at his side. “I’ll have a word with your employer.”
The conversation with Tony Stark didn’t go the way Steve probably thought it would. Typically Tony was fairly willing to do as the Avengers asked of him. He made them fun toys, funded what they wanted, and even held press conferences for their needs.
But now Tony knew that Cap didn’t like him or even trust him. So he thought, what the heck, what sort of congeniality was he trying to continue? Iron Man could be the good guy and Tony Stark could be the bad guy. He could be the reason that Iron Man’s identity never came to the surface.
“Look, Captain, I don’t tell you how to run the Avengers. I let you use my building, my money, the Iron Man suit and even employed a man to pilot it. I’m really glad that you work well with him--I am. But this is where your authority ends.” Tony leaned back on his bench, arms crossed and face expressionless. He’d actually been working on Stark Industries stuff for once when Steve interrupted him in his workshop. Tony had known this conversation was coming but he was on a work deadline as it was.
Steve rubbed his face again, clearly as exhausted with the conversation as Tony was. “Mr. Stark, Iron Man will be sharing his identity with us if he thinks it’s the right call. If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with me.”
There was a long pause of silence again after that, but Steve was surprised that Tony Stark met his heavy gaze and seemed to straighten his spine even more so as he faced off with America’s hero.
“No,” Tony said coldly, “that’s not how this works. Look, I don’t have to explain myself to you. He knows the rules and he can choose to live his life any way he wants; he just needs to understand his actions have consequences. Namely, being Iron Man.” Tony stood up fully and despite having to look up at Steve, didn’t back down in the slightest. “Captain, I don't have a lot of conditions. I let you all do whatever you want with my money and my technology. But if you continue to fight me on this I will pull all Stark Industries support on this, financially, publicly, and strategically.”
So Steve had left the office red faced and fuming. Both of them had raised their voices, but Tony had been firm. Either Iron Man could quit the team and be replaced, or he had to keep his secret identity. Stark didn’t have to explain himself to Steve. He wasn’t bullying Iron Man--these were pre-agreed arrangements. Iron Man changing his mind wasn’t really Tony’s problem.
But God did that piss off Steve.
He never spoke about it directly with Iron Man after that. But Steve would get this look on his face when it was just the two of them sometimes. Regretful. Wistful. And that feeling of what could have been would linger in the air until it was almost unbearable.
But Tony knew better now. He’d gotten his head out of the cloud and remembered all that would have been was a disaster.
Steve Rogers was Iron Man’s best friend. But he’d never be a friend for Tony Stark. The two of them would still go hang out one on one, train together the most, even go to each other for advice. But for all that Steve Rogers loved Iron Man, he loved a lie. And with every day of Tony pretending to be someone he wasn’t, lied more and more to his best friend.
Life went on and a new normal was established. Bad guys kept terrorizing the world and the Avengers would save the day as a perfect team. Captain America and Iron Man remained best friends. And Tony Stark, the benefactor and gadget provider stayed away from the Avengers most of the time. On the rare occasions where they were needed to be together for the limelight there was a colder air between him and the team that Tony hadn’t felt before.
And when the team was together and Iron Man was late because Tony Stark couldn’t just bust out of meetings whenever he liked, he’d blame his boss.
“Sorry I’m late to practice, guys. Stark said I had to stick around to escort him home after his meeting.”
And someone would roll their eyes and mutter “God what a dick” under their breath just loud enough for everyone to hear. But Iron Man would always be off the hook because everything was Tony Stark’s fault now. Iron Man was someone to pity.
“We’re just glad to have you,” Steve would say and smile at him like nothing else mattered.
The team probably even felt good about it. Thinking Iron Man finally felt comfortable venting with them about what a dick his boss was. And Tony just lived for the moments he could put on a mask and be someone other than the self-obsessed, cruel, uncaring Tony Stark.
The Avengers remained the best thing that ever happened to Tony. Steve continued to be best friends with the daring, powerful Iron Man who made great efforts to make his team feel safe in his presence. They had team game nights, and went to one another for advice, and felt more like a family than a combat team.
But when it was time to put Iron Man away, it felt like a scam. Tony would pull off his mask in the privacy of his workshop. The magic would fizzle. And stepping out from behind the curtain was the lie of a wizard who turned out just to be lights and clockwork.
In the end, even the best crafted lies are revealed. The best option--the only option, was obvious. Easy even.
“I’m really sorry,” Tony said, staring ahead at the computer just out of reach. “If I could have gone my whole life without ruining Iron Man…I would have.”
“Iron Man, what are you talking about?” Widow said to his right, sounding startled and concerned, but he didn’t look. He just stared ahead, blinking back tears. She didn’t even come across like she trusted anyone. But she’d thrown herself off enough buildings with nothing but open air and wreckage beneath her for Tony to know that she trusted Iron Man to catch her.
There was something especially awful about knowing that you were about to completely demolish one of the few trusting relationships someone like her had ever had. Be just another lie in a life that deserved nothing but the best.
But he didn’t really have a choice. They were all pinned in place, held in suspension and unable to move. Bruce was knocked out cold on the ground below, but not responding. Given that pretty much nothing could really harm Dr. Banner, Tony was confident he’d be fine. But their latest escapade had left the team stranded in a warehouse, unable to move as the villain continued forward with their plan of attack on innocent people. Not even Steve or Thor with their superior strength were able to break the binding holding them in the air. And the Iron Man armor’s energy was completely cut off. Tony couldn’t even manage to contact Jarvis.
But that didn't mean they were out of options. There was one left. Laughably easy to just slide his way out. He wished then, worthlessly, that he had more time. That he could remove the bandaid slowly instead of ripping it off and exposing a gaping wound.
“For what it’s worth,” he said softly, “it’s been an honor fighting with you.” And then Tony pushed the manual release from inside of the suit.
“Iron Man?”
Steve.
But Iron Man was gone forever. It was The Great Tony Stark who emerged from the warped, dead machine. Tony Stark who dropped down to his feet in a wrinkled shirt and expensive tie. Tony Stark who rolled back his shoulders, strolled forward to the computer screens, pushed up his sleeves and ignored the gasps behind him. And it was Tony Stark who would save the day, save the Avengers, one last time.
“Mr. Stark?”
It took everything in him not to turn around at Steve’s voice. The tone was so full of astonishment, but also hurt. So much god damn raw, surprised, unrestrained pain.
Maybe in another universe Tony’s voice would have cracked. His hands would have shaken the whole time at the computer. His discomfort would have been obvious in every inch of his body as he worked. But not this universe. Tony kept his focus on the screen instead, refusing to do anything but excel at his last mission. “At this point, I think you can call me Tony, Cap.” Like it was a joke and he didn’t care and this was all good fun.
It was child's play to deactivate the hold on each Avenger, and they were on their feet in mere moments. They shouldn’t waste time. Every moment passed and the bad guy got further away.
Thor rushed to Bruce to check on him, and on finding him fine, just unconscious, Thor too joined the silent staring. No one said a word.
Tony chose not to turn around. “The suit is entirely inoperable, but you guys need to go now. We’ll debrief back at HQ when you return.”
And that seemed to break the spell. “Thor, you go ahead. You’ll get there the fastest. The rest of us won’t be far behind,” Clint said, hands reaching back to double check on arrows on his back.
The rest of them responded in the like, faces turning back to focus as they remembered what was at stake.
“He’s right, let’s go,” Steve said, and they all turned to rush out without glancing back.
But in what was an entirely out-of-character move, Steve was the last to leave the room. His face was entirely impassive as he stared at Tony, but his eyes burned into Tony’s skin. It felt cowardly to refuse to even look him in the eyes, but Tony chose to busy himself with starting to contact JARVIS for a ride home.
When Steve finally did leave, Tony waited for a few long moments, remaining busy and tense. Once he had closed contact with his AI and he was sure Happy would be enroute to pick Banner and him up, Tony slumped. He dropped his face into his hands and he let out a choked sigh. The day he most feared was here: he’d flown his last mission as an Avenger.
It wouldn’t be long for Happy to get to him. An hour at best. So in that hour Tony allotted himself grief, for the family he’d built and the life he’d pretended to live. He didn’t cry or get angry that it was all over. All he could do was stare up at the remains of the Iron Man suit and remind himself that what he lost was never really his to have. He’d tricked them all into thinking he was someone he wasn’t. And now the game was up, the cards were down, the mask was off, and the truth was out.
And despite knowing it was his choices, he couldn’t help the flood of pain he felt for Steve. Poor, beautiful, wonderful Steve who had to adjust to a new world and found friendship--love even, in Iron Man. Who would now have to face the facts. Iron Man had never been real. And any feelings that had been between the two of them was as fake as the man himself.
All that was left behind was the meager scraps of a person that made up Tony Stark, the man who had everything--and nothing.