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Childe has just become a Harbinger when his belly swells for the first time. Although he notices the change in his body, he doesn’t pay much attention to it. As the Tsaritsa’s Vanguard, he now has access to more food than ever before in his life, and of better quality, too, so this sudden gain of weight is nothing surprising. A little exercise, and his body will be back in shape in no time.
Or at least, that’s what he believes.
Everything changes on the day the Tsaritsa convokes him to her throne room. Childe is elated at the news, convinced that she is about to entrust him with a new mission. However, as he steps in, he immediately senses something’s wrong. The air is much colder than on the day he gained his title, a layer of frost covers the furniture, and Her Majesty wears a severe expression on her face.
It instills fear in his heart, but still, he walks toward his Archon and kneels, never one to cower in the face of danger.
“My Eleventh. Why haven’t you told me?” She scolds him, her ethereal voice resonating on the icy walls of her palace.
Her accusation leaves him baffled. Childe has absolutely no idea what she means. In fact, the Tsaritsa is the only person with whom he has been completely honest, may it be about his childhood in Morepesok, about those awful three months spent in the Abyss, or about his training with the Fatui. There isn’t anything about his life that he has kept a secret from her.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Childe blurts out, utterly sincere. “I have never hidden a single thing from you, I promise!”
“And yet, you never mentioned that you were with child.”
“With… child?” He repeats, struggling to grasp the reality behind her words. “But that’s… That’s impossible! My body… It can’t get pregnant! And I… I’ve never even slept with anyone…”
Someone lesser would brand him as a liar, but the Tsaritsa recognizes the truth behind his plea. Her anger is quick to dissipate, once she is convinced of his honesty.
“You didn’t know.” She states in a murmur.
“Of course, I didn’t!” Childe almost shouts! “I do not mean any disrespect, but… you must be mistaken. What you are saying… It cannot possibly be true.”
“I assure you that it is. There is a life developing inside you, I can sense it. I am the Goddess of Love, and such things cannot evade me.”
Childe has never doubted the word of his Archon before, but for once, he prays that she might be wrong, that her powers have somehow been misled.
The Tsaritsa is right, a few tests performed by Dottore confirm it. Childe listens numbly as the scientist rants about his condition, sounding just as delighted by his discovery as the young Harbinger is horrified. The technical jargon the doctor uses doesn’t make it easy to understand what is happening to him. Still, what he does comprehend leaves him shaken up.
As with most things in his life, the Abyss is to blame for his new predicament. It has altered his body deeply, giving it the ability to conceive children on its own, with no sexual partner required. Dottore calls it a “remarkably efficient and fascinating method of reproduction”, but to Childe, it sounds more like a curse.
Any sign of weakness would be used against him by the other Harbingers, so he doesn’t let Dottore see how devastated he is, but once he is back to the safety of his quarters, he all but crumbles on the floor, unable to quench the flow of his tears. He doesn’t feel anywhere near ready to take care of a baby on his own, but it’s not like he is getting a choice. With the changes the Abyss has forced onto his body, any attempt to put a stop to this would be more likely to kill him than to end his pregnancy.
The abyssal taint doesn’t care that he feels too young, too inexperienced, too scared for this. It is cruel, unyielding, and he is left with no other option but to bend to its will.
When Childe rests a trembling hand over the bump of his stomach, he fails to sense any movement inside, but he knows it won’t remain this way for long.
In the following month, Childe tries his hardest to prepare for the arrival of his baby. Despite everything, he wants to make them feel loved, because the little one isn’t to blame for the way they’ve been conceived. They didn’t ask to be brought into the world, just like Childe didn’t ask to carry them. No matter what, he will not abandon them. He will not cast them aside like his own father has done with him. He will do everything in his power to give them a good life, no matter how much it costs him.
However, even though his condition requires rest, he cannot neglect his duties as a Harbinger. He has just been appointed as the Tsaritsa’s Vanguard, after all. If he cannot prove his value, he will be swiftly replaced by someone better suited than him. He’ll be disposed of, killed or turned into one of Dottore’s experiments. He cannot let that happen to him and to his child.
And that’s without mentioning the countless assassination attempts he has to thwart. There are too many people who want him dead: enemies of the Tsaritsa, soldiers envious his title, even some of the other Harbingers…
In the end, Childe has no choice but to fight and to use his Foul Legacy Form, as well as his delusion, more often than he’d like to, despite the ever-growing fatigue it causes him.
By the time he realizes it hasn’t only been draining his energy, but also that of his baby, it is far too late to correct his mistake.
Childe spends the worst week of his life locked up in his room in Zapolyarny Palace, writhing in pain as his body takes its revenge on him for failing to protect the fragile life growing inside him. This time he doesn’t need the expertise of Dottore or the powers of the Tsaritsa to know that his child is no more. He can feel their absence deep in his flesh, heart-wrenching and all-shattering. The part of him that has already been damaged by his stay in the Abyss breaks even further as he mourns what will never be.
When he finally emerges from his quarters, Childe’s already lifeless eyes have turned even duller.
His first course of action is to find something to kill.
Childe experiences two more pregnancies that end in the exact same way. He tries to shield his children from harm, he really does, but the life of a Harbinger isn’t kind on the body. An injury received in the wrong place, a drop of poison slipped into his glass, it’s all it takes to smother his hopes that this time, he will manage to carry them to term. It never fails to break him. When no one can hear him, he desperately begs the children he never got to hold in his arms to forgive him for having been such a horrible, neglectful father.
After that, his womb remains empty. When Childe realizes that he won’t be getting pregnant again, he is torn between relief and bitterness. While he doesn’t want to experience such excruciating pain ever again, he also hates to think that his body might have been too damaged to bear life ever again. It’s selfish, he knows. No child deserves to be born from a monster like him.
Not having to worry about another life than in own makes him a better instrument of war, though, a better warrior. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself to soothe his mangled heart.
His assignment to Liyue arrives just at the right time. He sure needs to be distracted from his ever-darkening thoughts.
In the land of Geo, everything is different. The weather is warmer than in Snezhnaya, the food is spicier, and the local people aren’t trying to murder Childe to climb up the military ranks. His work at the Northland Bank also isn’t as demanding as the other missions he’s had to fulfill before. Debt collecting sometimes requires the use of force, sure, but his daily tasks mostly consist of paperwork. As much as he enjoys the thrill of a good fight, it’s refreshing to get some rest once in a while.
He's also never had so much free time ever since his father enlisted him in the Fatui. And that free time… Well, he spends it with one Mister Zhongli.
He could say that he’s only doing it for the sake of his mission, but that would be a lie. The truth is, Childe has taken a liking to the endearing funeral consultant during the few months he’s been stationed in Liyue.
They are sharing a meal together at Wanmin’s when Childe is overtaken by nausea. His eyes widen in horror as he recognizes the all-so-familiar symptoms of morning sickness.
It is happening again.
He blurts out an apology, interrupting Zhongli’s rant about the exceptional cooking skills of Xiangling, and rushes to the bathroom.
Even after he’s done emptying the content of his stomach, Childe keeps sobbing desperately, unable to put his smiling persona back on, because he knows what this announces: the cramps, the blood, the heartbreak. He can’t do it all over again. He refuses to.
When he hears a knock on the door of his stall, it takes all his restraint not to scream. Instead, he laughs sadly. Other customers are so impatient that he won’t even be able to have his mental meltdown in peace, uh?
He slams the door open, half-tempted to sink a water blade into the neck of whoever disturbed him. It would not do his mission any good, but it would sure relieve his nerves. However, any intention to do so vanishes when he finds himself face-to-face with Zhongli.
Shit. He has no time to conceal how red and puffy his eyes are from crying. Shit shit shit shit.
“Childe? I noticed how distraught you looked earlier. Would you please tell me what’s wrong?” Zhongli asks, his voice smooth as silk and oh-so gentle.
Just like that, all the emotions that Childe has kept bubbled up in his chest for the last few years come loose. He bursts into tears once more, but this time, Zhongli is there to catch him in his arms and to hold him close. Words spill from his mouth like a torrent as he tells him everything about the abyss, about his condition, about that small, vulnerable seed of life that has taken root within him.
He knows it is dangerous, to bare his heart like this, to hand it over raw and bleeding, in hopes that Zhongli will be kind enough to stitch it up. There is a risk that the consultant will reject him, call him a monster, or worse even, that he will hurt him and his child, but he can’t keep this all to himself any longer.
Thankfully, Zhongli proves worthy of his trust. There is no judgment in his amber eyes, and he whispers reassuring words in his ear until Childe manages to calm down. He shushes him tenderly when the Harbinger starts berating himself for causing just a scene in a public space, telling him that it’s okay, that he doesn’t mind.
For the first time ever since he climbed out of the abyss, Childe doesn’t feel bad about letting someone else see his weaknesses.
With Zhongli’s insight, Childe starts to understand better how his abyss-modified body works. It doesn’t exactly come as a surprise to him. The consultant is so knowledgeable, so smart, of course he would know how to assist him. His explanations are always simple and easy to understand, contrary to Dottore’s gibberish.
“Creatures from the Abyss aren’t the only ones that can reproduce on their own,” Zhongli explains to him one day. “Dragons can resort to such methods as well, if they find themselves unable to find a mate. However, such a thing can only happen if they feel relatively safe and if they have access to enough food, so that their lives will not be endangered by the pregnancy. Do you think the same might apply to you?”
Childe quickly comes to the conclusion that yes, it might. At least, it explains why his peculiar ability only manifested itself after he joined the ranks of the Harbingers and got to enjoy a more comfortable lifestyle, or why his body decided it was time to bear life again once he arrived in Liyue.
He rubs his belly absentmindedly as Zhongli digresses and starts sharing all kinds of anecdotes about the noble dragons of Liyue. He could spend days like this, just listening to his deep, soothing voice. Expecting a child while having someone to watch over him is so different from what he has experienced so far. Zhongli is always there to help him with physical tasks, even ones he could easily handle. And thanks to the shields he can create using his vision, no one has been able to even lay a scratch on Childe this time around.
Zhongli is also the one Childe rushes to after waking up from the endless nightmares he has, where he sees himself losing his baby time and time again. Whenever that happens, the consultant is quick to hug him and to promise him his protection until his tears dry out.
All in all, life in Liyue is kinder. Still, Childe can barely believe his eyes when his belly starts to really show. It’s the first time he has managed to reach this stage, to break the unbearable cycle of death he’d been subjected to so far.
Though it fills him with joy, it also means he has to be more careful when going out. He cannot let his many enemies know about his vulnerable state. However, all his problems are quickly solved when Zhongli offers the Harbinger to stay at his home for as long as he will need to.
Leaving his post at the Northland Bank vacant doesn’t cause too much trouble. Ekaterina is the one who effectively runs the place, not him, and his absence is easily excused as soon as he mentions that he might have a lead on how to obtain Rex Lapis’ gnosis.
And so, Zhongli’s place becomes both his home and his hiding spot for the duration of his pregnancy. Throughout his stay, the consultant pampers him. He brings him everything he needs, may it be food, clothes or various trinkets he thinks Childe will enjoy.
The more time goes by, the more the Harbinger grows attached to him.
On the day his baby kicks for the first time, Childe turns into a crying mess. He spends hours just caressing his round stomach and whispering tender words to its occupant. He doesn’t dare hope that his child will make it, not just yet, but at least now he has a way to show his baby just how much he loves him. And the moment Zhongli comes home, he’s quick to grab his hand and to guide it to his belly so that he can feel it too.
The fond smile it earns him makes Childe’s heart beat just a little too fast.
Later that day, Zhongli even convinces him to go see a doctor to make sure his pregnancy is going well. Childe isn’t too comfortable with the idea, since he hardly manages to chase the image of Dottore from his mind when it comes to any kind of medical examination, but he still agrees to it for the good of his baby, so long as Zhongli will accompany him. It’s a little embarrassing, to ask that of him, but he never feels safer than when the consultant is around.
“Just… Don’t mention that there’s anything out of the ordinary about me, okay?”
“Of course not. Your secret will be well-guarded with me, I promise.” Zhongli reassures him.
Childe doesn’t doubt his word. Zhongli has never deceived him before, so why should he? Still, he can’t help but be a little nervous when the day comes and they walk into Dr.Baizhu’s office together. The green-haired man greets him politely, then he turns towards the consultant.
“Ah, Mr. Zhongli. It is a pleasure to see you. You must be the second father, I presume?”
Childe winces imperceptibly, definitely not eager to clear up that misunderstanding. He has prepared a made-up story that involves a one-night stand and too much alcohol, but before he can bring it up, Zhongli is already answering the question sent his way.
“Indeed. I see that you are as perceptive as ever.”
Wait, what?
Childe’s mind turns into white noise for the rest of the consultation. He knows that Zhongli is only doing this to cover up for him, but still… Pretending to be the father of the child of a Harbinger could seriously damage his reputation, if word of it ever got out. It isn’t a small commitment.
But most importantly… Childe finds himself wishing that Zhongli really were the father of his baby.
“I would be most honored.” Zhongli accepts a few weeks later, when Childe can’t help but voice this desire out loud. “It has always been my belief that fatherhood is defined by more than blood alone. Nothing would bring me greater pride than to call you both my family.”
He barely has time to finish his sentence that Childe is already dragging him into a passionate kiss. Happy tears are running down the Harbinger’s cheeks, and although he would blame hormones, he knows it runs deeper than that. A family. That word won’t stop resonating in his mind.
He has never wanted anything more.
At the end of a long, anxious wait, Childe finally gives birth to a healthy son. The baby looks just like a little copy of him, with ginger hair and ocean-blue eyes. Zhongli stays by his side through the whole process, never letting go of his hand until the Harbinger finally gets to hold his child close to his chest.
“He’s here, Zhongli. He’s really here!” He sobs, unable to contain his joy, his face stricken by tears of relief.
“And he is perfect, just like you.” His lover adds, kissing his cheek tenderly.
Childe doesn’t remember ever being this happy before.
“I wonder when it will happen again,” Childe whispers, his head tucked under Zhongli’s collarbone.
It has been a long, exhausting day of getting adjusted to having a new addition to their household. Their son is sleeping soundly in a cradle right next to their shared bed. Everything is quiet, except for Zhongli’s steady heartbeat.
No place has ever felt more like home to Childe.
“You are talking about your next pregnancy?”
He nods. It feels nice, to have someone who understands him so well.
“Yeah. I feel safe with you, so it is bound to recommence all over again soon, right?”
“Actually… I may have a solution to prevent future unwanted pregnancy on your part.” Zhongli
“Really?!”
Dottore’s diagnosis convinced him that he would never be able to regain control over his body, but the sheer confidence in Zhongli’s golden stare makes him hope again.
“Quite obviously. I would not jest about such matters. Would you let me try it?”
“Of course. You know I trust you.”
Once he’s been given permission, Zhongli puts a hand under his navel. The area still feels sore, but Zhongli’s touch on his skin is light enough not to hurt. A Geo symbol quickly forms under his fingers. Childe should probably feel ashamed, to be branded with the mark of an Archon that isn’t his own, but he cannot find it in himself to mind it when the gentle warmth it spreads eases his pain.
“Remember what I said about the possibility of your body only producing offspring on its own in the absence of a compatible mate? Well, I have filled this symbol with some of my elemental essence. So long as you bear it, your body will be tricked into believing that I am always by your side.”
“Wow, you’re such a genius, Xiansheng!”
The aches in his body are the only things that prevent him from drowning his lover under endless kisses.
From that point on, he does not get unwillingly pregnant again.
Childe can’t help but feel a little nervous as he writes to the Tsaritsa. In his letter, he not only informs her of the birth of his son, but also mentions his desire to raise him in Liyue. He fears she might mistake his demand for treason, when in truth, he merely wishes to keep his loved ones away from the ruthless power struggles that take place in Snezhnaya. Even though Zhongli keeps telling him that everything will be fine, he cannot help but worry.
He is filled with relief when her answer arrives. It is filled with nothing but positive sentiments. His Archon even congratulates him profusely for his insightful choice of a partner. It confuses him a little, since he has barely mentioned Zhongli in his previous missive (he even refrained himself from talking about the wedding chopsticks, in fear that the custom would appear too liyuean for her liking), but he just shrugs it off. He has gotten her approval. The rest matters little.
Actually, it matters a whole lot, Childe rectifies, when he walks upon the scene of Zhongli, no, of Rex Lapis, handing out his gnosis to Signora. Okay, so maybe he unleashed Osial upon Liyue, maybe he isn’t exempt of responsibility in this, but Zhongli has a whole lot of explaining to do.
Although it costs him, he waits until Signora is gone to ask for answers. The last thing he wants is to reveal the existence of his child to another Harbinger, especially one he particularly despises. However, the moment he is alone with Zhongli, all Abyss breaks loose.
“First of all: where is our son?” He snaps, ready to take Zhongli down, Archon or not, if their child has received so much as a scratch because of his actions.
He planned carefully for Zhongli and the baby to be out of Liyue before letting his plan unfold. They weren’t meant to come near any danger. So of course, he cannot help but feel distressed under the current circumstances.
“Safe in my teapot. Madame Ping is currently watching over him.”
“In your teapot?” Childe repeats, dumbfounded.
“A realm created through the use of Adepti Magic, if you’d prefer.”
Ah, right. He is apparently married to the Geo Archon himself, so those kinds of things are to be expected.
“Okay, next question: you never mentioned being an actual god because…”
“My contract with the Tsaritsa forbade me from doing so until you had accomplished your part in testing Liyue. Otherwise, rest assured that I would have revealed my true identity to you long ago. My feelings for you have always been true, and I will do everything you might demand of me to prove my sincerity…”
Childe blinks in disbelief as Morax, the Lord of Geo, the Prime Adeptus who brought several gods to their knees, gives him the look of a sad puppy begging to be allowed back home.
Oh, to hell with it. They’re both to blame for not being entirely truthful anyway, and he cannot bear to stay angry at Zhongli for much longer.
“No need for that. I trust you. Just… No more secrets between us, alright?”
“No more secrets.” Zhongli agrees as he closes the space between them and wraps his arms around him.
Being married to a literal god sure comes with its advantages: Having a bunch of Adepti more than willing to babysit their son (or Rex Lapis’ heir, as they call him) so he can spend some quality time alone with his husband, for example.
Finding out that said husband is more dragon than man is not so bad either.
Zhongli’s true form is absolutely gorgeous. Childe is pretty sure he will never get bored of running his fingers along the golden scales that litter his arms and legs, or of caressing his gracious antlers. It is a good thing he’s been assigned to Liyue permanently, because he’s more than happy to take his sweet time to discover this new body of his lover, so similar and yet so different from what he is used to.
“No wonder you knew so much about dragons,” He huffs as he mindlessly plays with the tuft of golden fur at the end of Zhongli’s tail. “By the way, how come you never had any struggles with surprise pregnancies, since you spent literal millennia without a mate?”
“My ability to modify my body as I wish spared me such inconveniences.”
“Lucky bastard.” He pouts.
His comment earns him a warm chuckle from Zhongli and Childe can’t help but stare, mesmerized by how handsome the other man is, with his hair untied and his fangs slightly bared.
“You know,” Childe drawls, taking on a seductive tone. “I think I’m ready for more inconveniences, but this time, I would be inclined to try a more conventional method.”
With a provocative grin on his lips, he takes the former god’s clawed hand in his and guides it to the inside of his thigh. Zhongli’s predator eyes are quick to darken with lust and his desire only keeps growing when Childe spreads his legs on purpose, offering all of himself to his ravenous husband.
“Am I reading your intentions right? Do you really wish to…”
“Have your child? Yes, so please, do not keep me waiting.” He almost purrs.
Once he’s made his desires clear, it doesn’t take long for his body to be covered by Zhongli’s. Childe moans his approval, locking his legs around his husband’s hips to keep him close. Knowing that this time, he will be impregnated out of his own choice, and not only because of a fluke of his biology, makes him feel lightheaded and giddy. Even better, it is the man he loves, the one person that has always been there when he needed him, who is going to make his belly swell.
Life in Liyue is truly kind indeed.