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Bradley Bradshaw was not super sentimental when it came to material objects. He had a few things, namely his Bronco and Goose’s dog tags, that meant more to him than he could put into words.
But his goose.
His stuffed goose given to him by his godfather when he was barely born, was irreplaceable. The goose that kept him company on so many lonely deployments. The goose provided him comfort whenever he was sad, lonely, or sick. He would look at that goose and think of the three people who loved him more than life itself.
His dad(s) and his mom.
Then Jake came into his life. And he’ll be the first in line to tell you that Jake “Hangman” Seresin, was an asshole. A little shit.
But Jake Mitchell yearned for love and comfort. The same love and comfort only his stuffed goose could provide him for so many years. Now his goose was doing the same for his little brother.
He had watched from his chair in the hospital room as Jake clutched the goose so tightly his knuckles turned white. And when he would wake up in the middle of the night crying, he trapped the goose in his embrace and refused to let go. So he made the executive decision that his brothers would have their own emotional support stuffed animal.
He didn’t care if people thought it was childish. In the nature of which they work, they are surrounded by roughness and in certain situations, fear. If something as small as a stuffed animal can provide even the slightest bit of comfort, he didn’t care what anyone said. Besides, Jake and Bob somehow attract enough trouble outside of work to need a little bit of extra comfort.
But Bradley also needed to wait for the right time. His baby brothers were still recovering emotionally. Physically, they were back at work and they were fine. Wounds had healed and scabbed over, some scaring. Bob kept his left arm wrapped at all times, not able to look at the words carved into his skin without closing in on himself and breaking down.
The first time it happened had been after a long day of practicing flight maneuvers. Bob had slipped his arm out of his flight suit and the bandage had gotten caught and the whole thing unraveled. Bob caught sight of the words etched into his skin and stood frozen in his spot. He sank to his knees and suddenly wasn’t in the locker room surrounded by his friends and family. He was locked in the cold concrete room with Michael. He never heard or felt his brothers sink down next to him. He never noticed his dad rush into the locker room. Couldn’t remember being led out of the locker room and to the car. Didn’t remember being led inside the house and to the couch. He didn’t come around until Slider had settled his head against his chest, right about his heart. The steady thump of Slider’s heartbeat pulled him back into the present.
Slider held him as he sobbed into his shoulder. Bob apologizes for being weak and for getting kidnapped. Every word out of his mouth, every apology, every cry, made Slider want to pull Michael out of the penitentiary and kill him himself. In a couple weeks, they had an appointment at a tattoo parlor so Bob could get the words marked on his body covered. Until then he’d keep them bandaged.
Jake was in much of the same boat. He was fine while at work, surrounded by people and keeping his mind busy but at night is when his demons caught up to him. Memories attacked his brain while he was asleep and vulnerable. With his defenses down he can still hear Bob’s screams. Can feel every mark his mother inflicted on his body. Can still feel the twinges in his knee or his ribs if he moves a certain way. He wakes up in the dead of the night with a scream caught in his throat. He wakes up in the dark of his room, panicking that he’s back with his mother.
There were nights he would burst into Bradley’s room or his dad’s and wouldn’t be able to speak. Couldn’t get the words across. Couldn’t make a singular sound. He sees the worry in his father and brother’s eyes but can’t put together a sentence to ease their worries. He hates causing them to worry. Hates adding stress to their lives. And by the time he voices that, he’s been enveloped in tight hugs and gentle voices, shushing him and telling him that he adds nothing but joy to their lives.
It had been a particularly hard week. It had officially been four months since Jake and Bob had been kidnapped and every night that week, one of them, or both, woke up in a cold sweat, a scream ripping from their throats, panicking about where the other is. They had bags under their eyes, that no one needed to comment on. Jake was jittery, only calming down when he was in the sky, where he felt completely and totally untouchable. But the second he was on the ground, he was a bag of nerves. Bob refused to allow Jake out of his line of sight, only doing so for hops. He was quiet and withdrawn.
And Bradley’s heart was breaking all over again.
That Friday night, after a long week, Slider had texted Maverick and himself that Bob was going to break his phone if he holds it any tighter. His leg hadn’t stopped bouncing since he had been home. Jake was in much of the same boat and Bradley had had it. Something needed to be done. His brothers were terrified even though Slider had ensured that Michael and Julie were locked away for good. His brothers needed something to get their mind off of things that wasn't work, and he had the perfect thing.
The next morning found Bradley corralling Jake to get dressed. He had slept fitfully through the night but had no major nightmares, so Bradley was counting it as a win.
“Why do I need to get dressed? I just want to stay home and hide under the covers.” Jake pouted
“That’s exactly why you need to get out,” Bradley said, throwing a t-shirt at his brother.
“Bradleyyyyyy.”
“J, you need to get out of this house and do something that isn’t working. You’re safe. They can’t hurt you anymore. I promise you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Bradley swore
“I know, I trust you, I’m just…I don’t know.”
“You’re scared. And that’s normal. You went through a serious trauma but you can’t let that control your life. It happened and it was awful. I hate that it happened to you and Bob. But you cannot let it win. You cannot let Michael and Julie win.” Bradley pleaded
Jake sat on his bed for a long moment, staring at the floor and heaving out a heavy sigh. He peered up at his brother and grabbed the shirt that had been thrown at him and slipped it over his head. Bradley beamed at him and ordered him to brush his teeth and hair and to meet him downstairs. Jake complied and met his brother downstairs no more than five minutes later. They hugged Maverick goodbye and Bradley led them out to Jake’s truck. Jake moved toward the driver's seat before he was promptly redirected to the passenger seat.
“Why do YOU get to drive MY truck but I don’t get to drive yours?” Jake asked, once again feeling like a passenger princess in his own vehicle.
“As I said before, I like driving and you shouldn’t have been given a license.”
Jake rolled his eyes, mumbling about his dramatic his brother was. He was a good driver. Right?
Bradley pulled into Slider’s driveway ten minutes later and killed the engine.
“Why are we at Uncle Sli’s exactly?” Jake asked, exiting the truck.
“We have one more brother, remember?” Bradley said like it was obvious.
“Smartass,” Jake grumbled
Bradley let himself in and Jake followed suit. Slider greeted them in the living room with huge bear hugs.
“He’s in his room. Rough night.” Slider said to Bradley, clearly already knowing why they were there.
Bradley nodded and made his way into Bob’s room to see his littlest brother sleeping peacefully. He smirked at the Pluto plush poking out from under the covers and sat on the edge of the bed.
Bradley gently roused Bob to the land of the living and ushered him to get dressed. Half-asleep still, Bob followed the orders he was given and disappeared into his bathroom. Jake took in the exhausted state his brother was in and felt guilt sucker-punch him in the face. In his mind, he has made peace with the fact that their kidnapping was none of his fault but his heart still clenched at the thought of Bob suffering and that the younger was still working through his own guilt. He hoped whatever Bradley had planned helped.
Bob reappeared a few minutes later, looking a bit more awake and ready to go. He silently followed them out of his room and Slider smiled at the three of them.
“Have fun and be careful. I love you.” Slider said, pulling Bob into a hug.
The three brothers said their “I love yous” and left.
Bob silently got in the back seat with Jake riding shotgun and Bradley driving. Bradley kept shooting glances at Bob, who had made no move to speak. Jake tried to initiate conversation but Bob just kind of curled into himself. Gave one-word answers. All around made as little contact as possible.
Bradley hated it. He wanted Sunshine Bob back. He wanted the Jake that gave people shit more often than not. He wanted his brothers back.
Pulling into the mall, Bradley parked and Jake and Bob shot him confused looks.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Jake asked
“Do you trust me?” Bradley asked
“Of course,” Jake said, with no hesitation.
Bradley turned to look at Bob with a raised eyebrow.
“I trust you.”
Bradley smiled and hopped out of the truck, his brother’s following his lead. Bradley led them inside and passed the rows of stores and down an escalator. Passing some more stores, they finally stopped inside the one Bradley was looking for.
Build-a-Bear.
“Uh, B, what are we doing?” Jake asked
Bradley threw an arm around both of his brother’s shoulders and pulled them close.
“We are building bears. Having an emotional support stuffed animal has helped me more than I can put into words, and it looks like a certain goose and Pluto have helped you both out some. I’m hoping this will bring you some comfort. Something that we did together to remind each of us that we’re okay. We’re safe. And that nothing can hurt us anymore.” Bradley spoke
The littlest brother to his left hugged him tight.
“Thank you,” Bob whispered
Bradley smiled and ruffled his hair and led them all into the store. Jake and Bob immediately started to evaluate the different bears. The oldest hung back a little and felt like his heart could burst at seeing the smiles grace his brother’s faces. True smiles for the first time in months. Wide smiles that were mostly teeth as they compared the different bears. Bradley joined them in picking out his own.
And that’s where they stayed for probably the next fifteen minutes before they ultimately decided on the plain bears but each in a different shade of brown.
The next part was what Bradley was excited about. He had come in here a couple days ago and pre-recorded two messages for Jake and Bob’s bears. He made them promise to wait until they got home to listen to them. Since he recorded messages for them, Jake and Bob decided to record one for Bradley’s bear. Bradley had to stand on the other side of the store while they recorded and was allowed back with them only when they were done.
The store associate stuffed their bears and made sure their recorded messages were secured inside. Once the bears were stuffed came the fun part.
Choosing the fit.
The store had outfits on outfits to choose from. The selection was honestly overwhelming. Bob wondered about the countless aisles of clothes before landing on the little military section. He saw a little flight suit hanging up and his smile grew. Grabbing the flight suit, a little pair of boots, and some aviators, he left to go find his brothers.
Jake was also overwhelmed with the amount of outfits to choose from. He wandered down aisles and flicked through different articles of clothing but ultimately, nothing jumped out at him. Until he found a sick pair of cowboy boots and his smile widened. He made quick work of finding other western wear, a plaid button-up, jeans, and a hat to accompany the boots. Feeling confident in his decision, Jake went to find his brothers.
It had been years since Bradley stepped in a Build-a-Bear. His mom used to bring him here all the time when he was a kid. Mav told him his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. He moseyed on down and eyed different outfits of different professions, keeping an eye on his brothers who were taking finding clothes for their bears more seriously than they do finding clothes for themselves. Stumbling upon the beachwear, he saw a Hawaiian shirt on the bottom shelf. With a smirk, he picked up the shirt, a pair of shorts, and pair of Converse-looking shoes. Grabbing some sunglasses, he completed his outfit.
He smiled when he noticed his brothers rejoin him. Bob showing off his little aviator bear and Jake showcasing his little cowboy bear. Jake barked out a laugh when he saw the Hawaiian shirt adorning Bradley’s bear.
“It suits him,” Bob said
“It so does. Almost can’t tell the difference.” Jake poked at his brother.
“Har har har. Little menace. He looks damn fly if I do say so myself.”
The three brothers made their way to the counter and Bradley slipped a card out of his wallet. Bob caught a look at the card, seeing the name ‘Peter Mitchell’ on the front. Bob said nothing until they were outside the store.
“Why didn’t you tell me you changed your name, B?” Bob asked innocently
Jake and Bradley shot him a look.
“Whatdya mean, Bobby?” Bradley asked
“Well, the name on that card you used said Peter Mitchell, and last time I checked, that wasn’t your name,” Bob asked, eyes shining with mischief.
“Oh shit! You nabbed Pop’s card?” Jake asked
“First of all, he knew I was using his money. And second, I’m not even going to lie, this card has been in my wallet for like six months. If he wanted it back he should have said something.”
The three brothers laughed as they walked out of the mall and towards Jake’s truck. Bradley drove them to Slider’s first to drop Bob off. Bob squeezed his brother’s tight, whispering another thank you in Bradley’s ear. Slipping out of the truck, Bob walked inside and into his dad’s awaiting embrace.
“Did you have fun?”
“Yeah, yeah I did.”
Bradley drove himself and Jake home where Maverick was waiting for them with dinner. Jake being the cheeky little shit he is, hinted to Maverick that Bradley had his card.
“You little shit! I’ve been looking for that!”
“I told you I had it and you told me to hold onto it! You just never asked for it back!” Bradley defended himself as Jake laughed.
And that sound was music to their ears.
That night three brother’s at in their beds, in dark rooms. The oldest brother had his bear resting on his stomach as he tried to calm his brain down enough to sleep. Giving it a light squeeze, his brother’s voices filled the room.
“We love you, B! You’re the best brother anyone could ever ask for!”
Tears filled his eyes and he smiled at the message his brothers left for him. ‘Big brother’ was a title and job he never in a million years thought he would have. But he did. And Jake and Bob were so easy to love. Even the thought of either of them in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation was enough to light a fire in his chest. Neither deserved all the shit that life threw at them, but he was so proud of them for how strong they are.
He was so proud to be their big brother.
Jake lay in bed that night, a wall separating him from his brother. His bear sat in the crook of his arm. Held securely to his side. His demons were coming after him again. His little brother’s screams still echoed in his mind. Subconsciously, he squeezed his bear and Bradley’s voice met his ears.
“You’re always more than enough, Little Bird. You mean the world to us. I love you and I am so proud of you.”
The short message held so much meaning. He had found the people who would stick by him through thick and thin. Wouldn’t toss him aside when things got hard. He was afraid after their kidnapping that Bob wouldn’t trust him anymore. But he was quickly proved wrong. He was enough.
He would always be, more than enough.
The youngest of the three was curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed. He had silent tears streaming down his face as his brother’s screams filled his ears and memories of his father’s beating flashed behind his eyelids. His bear was held securely and in his grip, held firmly to his chest. Clutching the bear tighter, his brother’s voice pierced through the screams filling his mind.
“You’re so strong, Bobcat. So strong and I’m so proud of you. I love you.”
Hearing his brother tell him he was strong made the images flashing behind his eyes stop and disappear altogether. Because if Bradley says it, then it’s true. No matter what the words on his skin said or the harsh and hateful words that spewed from Michael's mouth said. Bradley said he was strong so he was.
None of them were miraculously healed because of this little adventure, but one thing for sure, it was a start.