Chapter Text
On a morning in early April, William Boar woke up feeling peculiar. For one, he was deeply uncomfortable. The oil that pooled on his oleophobic bed sheets normally felt soothing, but this morning it felt disgusting against his shell. For another, he was unusually warm given that he just woke up. The oil dripping from him felt thin, like the disgusting cooling mechanism the Toons called “sweat.”
Immediately upon opening his eyes, he could tell something was wrong, as his vision had changed. The colors were off. The numbers and gauges in the corners were missing. He held his hand out in front of him and leapt up at the sight.
What he held out in front of him was a gloved hand and a furry arm. He fell out of bed, having gotten tangled up in his sheets, and crashed to the floor. With a building sense of dread, he approached his mirror, and screamed.
Instead of a handsome robot, what faced him was a Toon. A creature called a raccoon, he was fairly sure, rusty orange in color. He was approximately as tall, but not as bulky. He still wore the matching pajama set he’d put on the night before, only now it hung off of him strangely.
William pressed his hand against the mirror, pinched his cheek, his thigh, anything that might wake him up or persuade him that what he was seeing wasn’t real.
“How is this happening?” he breathed. “This can’t be happening.”
He paced back and forth through his dingy studio apartment. Before he could do anything, he decided, he needed to address the oil clinging to his– ugh –fur. The feeling would drive him up the wall.
He opened the airtight metal container where he kept oil-soaked rags but, of course, they were too coated in oil to be of any help. He dug through drawers and his closet, forgetting in his panic that he kept clean rags under the sink in his kitchenette. A sink which, normally, saw fairly minimal use. Now, though, he had all but crammed himself into it, scrubbing at his fur the way he would buff himself.
Eventually, though, the water got simply too hot, and he leapt back with an “Ow!”
There came a knock at the door. William’s heart stopped.
“William?” called his across-the-hall neighbor, Alton. “Everythin’ all right in there?”
“Everything’s peachy!” William called back, and mentally smacked himself. Had he ever said “Everything’s peachy” before in his life? Was this from being a Toon, or had he simply lost his mind?
“Are you sure?” Alton said. “You don’t sound right.”
“I’m fine!” he said, and his voice cracked. He scrubbed harder. “Go away!”
Alton was right, though. His voice sounded too organic.
“Well, if you’re sure…” Alton said, sounding skeptical. “Call me on your lunch break, will you? I’ll see you tonight.”
“Sure, sure,” William said. He paused as he listened to Alton’s booming footsteps recede.
He needed to get out. The last bits of tacky oil stuck in his fur he supposed he would have to deal with later. Quickly, William dressed himself–the suit, like his pajamas, hanging off his frame a little strangely–and he went back to pacing around wondering what to do.
He had no propeller now. What was that method Toons used to get around? He had no idea if he had access to it or, if he did, how he was supposed to use it. Toons always seemed to simply reach behind them.
Testing this theory, he reached behind him and, oddly, felt something there, in the empty space behind his back. He pulled it out and looked at it; it was a black circle, the dimensions of which could not possibly have fit in any pocket. There it was: the portal Toons used to travel distances. Apprehensive, he tossed it on the ground and peered down. It appeared solid black.
He didn’t know how it worked, but he knew it needed to take him to the one Toon he knew. The only Toon who could help him.
Resistance Ranger Rain , he thought, and jumped in, screaming all the way.
Moments later, he was launched out of the ground, and crash landed on his back.
And so Rain opened her door to find a raccoon in an ill-fitting suit lying prostrate on the ground in front of her estate.
“Hi there,” she said.
“Resistance Ranger Rain!” he exclaimed, turned over onto his hands and knees, and vomited.
“Eep! Are you okay?” she asked.
“Nooo! No, I’m not okay!” he hollered as he scrambled to his feet. He rushed up and grabbed her by the shoulders.
“Can I help you with something?”
“Yes! Yes you can help me with something,” he said, the words rushing out of his mouth. “You’ve got to change me back! I don’t know anyone else!”
“Hold on, back up. What’s the problem here?” Rain asked, holding her hands out in front of her.
“The problem is that something’s happened to me and I don’t know how to fix it,” he said.
“What’s happened?”
The raccoon’s frown deepened. He smacked his chest with his hands before flinging them out to his sides.
“I’m a Toon!” he exclaimed. Rain smiled and put her hands on her hips.
“Me too!”
“No, Rain!” he whined, and pressed his palms to his temples. “You know me! I’m not a Toon!”
“But you are a Toon,” she said. “You just said so. And I can see you right in front of me.”
“Oh, my Cog,” he muttered. “Rain, it’s me! William!”
“William?” Rain frowned. She furrowed her brows and glanced side to side. “Uh… Did we meet at a Resistance function, or…?”
“William Boar. The Derrick Man,” he said. Rain stared back at him with a blank expression.
“The Derrick Man is a Suit,” she replied. William smacked himself in the face.
“Yes. Normally, I’m a Suit,” he said. “But when I woke up this morning I was a Toon, and I don’t know why or how to fix it.”
“Wait a minute,” Rain said. She examined his face: the deep frown. The bright green, almond-shaped eyes. The black rings around them. The long, pointed nose. His stature, too, was unusual, being taller than average–which was still fairly short by Suit standards–and his broad shoulders. Not to mention the black, executive-style suit he was wearing.
“Huh? Huh!?” was all she could say.
“That’s how I felt, too,” William said.
“What–why come to me? What do you think I can do?” Rain said, gesturing to herself.
“Who else can I turn to?” he asked. “You’re the only Toon I know by name.”
“I suppose that’s true,” Rain said. She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, tapping her foot. “I think I know at least where to start. But hold on a second.” She disappeared into her estate, and William leaned against the doorframe. He could see into her living room; it was decorated with floral wallpaper, and many photographs lined a mantel over a fireplace. A loveseat sat in front of it, flanked by a couple of chairs with heart-shaped backs and green cushions. On the wall was a very old-fashioned telephone.
Rain returned from behind a door, presumably her bedroom, and wrapped a blindfold around William’s eyes.
“Is this really necessary?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, and took him by the hand. “Now, come on.”
The ground fell out from beneath them, and William once again screamed in terror. He clung desperately to Rain, knocking her to the ground once they landed.
“Ooooh, you dope! Don’t scream in my ear, will you?” she said. “Chill out.”
“How can I ‘chill out?’ Everything’s gone wrong!” he said. Rain helped him to his feet and dragged him… somewhere.
“Hey, Rain, what’ve you got there?” someone asked.
“New game! No time to explain!” Rain replied.
They continued on for a few minutes, William trying not to stumble, with one arm out to his side trying to feel for anything.
“Watch your step,” Rain said to him, and he felt a rush of air from a door opening. They entered a long, narrow, zig-zagging corridor. Still with his arm out, William felt along the walls, which seemed to be covered in individual objects. Books, he was pretty sure. Cogs didn’t bother much with books unless they were self-help or finance related.
“Professor Pete!” Rain called. “I need your help.”
While Rain explained the situation, William could not help but notice all the things he was picking up on even blindfolded. His senses as a Suit were fairly rudimentary, typically able to focus on one thing at a time. Now, he could smell the paper and glue of the books, the breakfast on Professor Pete’s desk, something he believed to be chalk (what would Toons be using chalk for?), and some sort of fruity smell coming off of Rain. He could hear something like a mechanical arm, and something clacking against a board. He could feel the floor beneath his feet, and the clothes on his body. It all created an image in his mind of the room they were in.
"Eek! And you brought him here!?" Professor Pete exclaimed, cowering away from them.
"Well, what harm can he do now?" Rain asked.
“Plenty!” Pete said.
“Well, there’s a reason I blindfolded him. Anywhere, I brought him here because you’ve got so many books; I figured there must be something here that could help. Something that could explain why this happened and how to fix it,” Rain explained.
“Well… I suppose I could try. But I cannot guarantee fast results. I have a lot to do, you know!” Pete said, anxiously wringing his hands.
“What am I supposed to do until then?” William asked. “And can I take this off now?” He pulled the blindfold off and was startled by the relative accuracy with which he had imagined the room.
“Well, I do have a guest room. You can stay there, if you want,” Rain offered.
“No,” William said.
“Where do you plan to stay instead, then?” she asked.
“I’ll find somewhere. Maybe I’ll just sleep on a bench,” he said with a shrug.
“I’m not going to let you sleep on a bench,” she said. “It’ll be easy to avoid each other, I promise.”
“Uh, Rain,” Pete piped up. “Are you sure you want to let a Suit into your home?”
“Well, it’s not like I keep any classified documents there or anything. As long as he doesn’t make a mess, I think it'll be fine,” Rain said.
“Easy, since I’m not dripping oil,” William said.
“Then it’s settled. William, I’m willing to help you however I can. But just know that as soon as you’re back to being a Cog, I’m going back to doing everything in my power to stop you,” Rain said.
“I expect no less,” William said.
They shook on it.