Chapter Text
I’m trapped in this room. Is a nice room, painted in blue and it’s full of toys and stuff like that. I have nice and enormous bed filled with soft pillows and stuffed animals. I can’t leave this place. But there’s always people coming in and out. They are visitors that want to love and be loved. The play with me, but not with my toys, they bring their own toys. They make weird things to me, and I sometimes cry because I don’t like, and then they would start kissing me and telling me they love me. When satisfied, they would leave and promise to come back. I don’t want them to return but they always do.
When the visitors leave, people with no faces come and clean me. They give me food and make me eat it even when I don’t want it. And at the end they will put something in my ass. It burns and hurts a lot. They will grab my arm and tell me it’s time for my medicine. The first time they told me that I said that I wasn’t sick, and they told me that a child doesn’t know that only adults can tell when someone is sick or not. The syringe hurts and the medicine calms me and makes me feel weird and makes me sweat a lot.
I can’t remember anything before this place. When I ask about it, they tell me that no one loved me because I was sick so the picked me up and brought me here so that I could be loved and healed. I don’t know how true that is. The love they give here is strange and I don’t like it, it makes me feel weird. Everything is strange here. They don’t let me wear clothes and always treat me like a dumb child. Nobody calls me by name either.
I started to grow older, and learned this weird love the visitor give and seek is called sex. I have more and more visitors now. They give more and more medicine and that weird thing in my ass also. Today, a visitor told that I was about to become a grown up soon and that I would be loved even more and not only with toys but also with the candy they hide between their legs. He then asked me if I liked candy and I told I did. He then makes me suck the weird candy in his legs. It tasted horrible and something white and salty came out it. I wanted to throw up, but the visitor closed my mouth and blocked my nose with his fingers so I couldn’t breathe. He forced me to swallow it.
I don’t want to grow up. I was scared now. When the people with no face came in I started fighting and tried to escape. They grabbed me by my hair and pinned me down the bed. I started kicking and pushing them back. They tied my hands and legs. A piece of cloth was put in my mouth and tied at the back of my head. I started crying and breathing hard. They blindfolded me, and carried me to another room. There they put me on cold table, and tied me there.
I couldn’t move. They removed the blindfold and strong white light blinded me. When my eyes got accustomed to it I saw I was alone in a room made of concrete and it had a metal door. The table was more like a weird chair and I was tied to it by differently sized belt. I had three in each arm and leg, one in my neck and four in tummy and chest. The cloth in my mouth was replaced by one made of leather that had a plastic ball with holes.
They left me alone for a long time. I could barely sleep because of the strong light. One day my head started to hurt like it was about to explode, and all my body stared to feel sore. I started panting, and my stomach started to hurt and made weird noises. I haven’t eaten I a long time. My skin began to turn grayish and dry. The belts sometime cut it and it would bleed. I once throwed up, but because of the belts and the gag I did a complete mess. I started crying. I was dirty, thirsty, and hungry and felt terrible. I then suddenly felt like it was hard to breathe and my head was spinning, soon everything went black.
I heard the door open, and tried to open my eyes. The strong white light wasn’t there anymore. The room was completely black. With the dim light that entered from the door I realized I wasn’t dirty anymore. A tall man entered the room and door closed behind him. I heard a click and light was turned on behind me. The man had brown hair and eyes, and it was extremely handsome. He wore a simple black pant and shoes with a white shirt. He approached me and kissed my forehead.
-I’m sorry you have to go through all this, Ichigo- he said to me in a sweet soothing voice. The calling of my name surprised me, nobody called me like that in a long time – I want you to understand that I never wanted to hurt you, but you didn’t understand that all we were doing was for your good and wellbeing. You are sick Ichigo, and I want you to heal because I love you- he said while removing the gag- Will you cooperate this time?-
-I’m not sick- I said – I don’t want to be loved either-
-Ichigo you know that’s not true- he said while grabbing a chair and sitting next to me –Haven’t you realized how lonely you felt this time and how much your body hurt without the medicines?- I nodded and started crying – Don’t cry, my boy- he said while cleaning my tears- While you let me give you your medicines?- I shook my head, I didn’t wanted them – Ichigo, don’t start making an act, I don’t want to force your treatment on you. It will only be worse-
-I don’t want them- I said while crying- they hurt and make me feel weird-
-Ichigo you are draining my patience- he said in a fierce tone that sended shivers down my spine, he was a scary man –I’m asking you nicely yet you still refuse. I will give you one more chance, Ichigo. Will you behave and do all I tell you or I will need to force things on you?-
-I..I will behave- I said defeated.
-Good boy- he said with a side smile. He got up and went outside.
I started crying. I didn’t wanted the medicine but I was scared of the man. I started hyperventilating and panting. The door opened and the man came in with two guys with no face. Saliva started to droll form my mouth.
-AIZEN-SAMA THE KID IS ACTING STRANGE- shouted one the no faced guy that holded a silver tray.
The man, wich was called Aizen-sama, rushed toward me.
-It’s okay Ichicgo, calm down, you are going to be okay- he said in a desperate but soothing voice- God dammit you idiots! Administrate the drugs before he ends in comma! He’s experiencing withdrawal!-
He continued to pet me. He whispered calming words to me meanwhile he shouted at the others. I felt a syringe and started crying, which made my condition worse. I suddenly felt to tired to pay attention to anything. I didn’t felt anything; I couldn’t hear Aizen-sama soothing voice, my head hurt and started spinning and everything went black.