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It’s different. Bae Hu-ryeong thinks, his experiences with being grandpa Marcus’ ghost and Kim Zombie’s ghost are like two different types of books - books about how one lives their lifes. While being with the Sword Saint, he gets to see how granpop lives a straightforward, strict to his ideal and boomer thinking, stubborn (as he usually says, a late boomer or whatever). However, grandpa Marcus lives and climbs the tower, for himself, for a wish that he will strike down whoever stops his way.
On the other hand, with the brat Kim Gongja, it’s different. In the way he gets to meet him, to how he supervises him. At first, he just thought this brat is a pathetic, a loser that’s too envy for his own good, hold a grudge over the killer whose burn him alive - well, he does know the reason behind that obsession, but that does not mean he won’t stop saying that punk is pathetic, simply because he just loves messing with him.
Later on, well. Kim Zombie… no, Kim Gongja is more than just a pitiful, jealous rascal who lives day to day in a ruined studio room. From how Bae Hu-ryeong observes him, he learned that all of these, and how the only thing Gongja able to think of, or to do, was only obsessed over top rankers because they have things he doesn't, recognition. The boy is an orphan, tries his best but to no avail, then gets buried in his own misery to the point the only source of “hope” in his life is obsession.
4090 - the number Marcus grandpops saw on that punk head, the ol’ man simply thinks he’s an outstanding assassin that could pretend to be a weak young man. Bae Hu-ryeong doesn't know, doesn’t remember what he thought about that number when he was still with the Sword Saint, but right now… hearing Kim Gongja flat out saying those are the numbers he suicided, lit something in his Sword Emperor soul.
“Hey Kim Zombie”
“What? You’ve been silent since we arrived on this floor to train, and now you want to talk?”
“Aish, why are you so grumpy? I just wanna ask something… When you suicided, repeatedly like that, does it still hurt?”
“...”
“...”
Kim Gongja stops plunging his sword into the goblin and looks at Bae Hu-ryeong, his expression is surprisingly unreadable, that throws him off track a bit. ‘Why is he looking at me like that’ - He grimaces
“...” Kim Gongja touches his neck. “I gouged my neck 4090 times. At first, it was hard… My knife was blunt, so the wound is not deep, I have to use all my strength to be able to die. It hurts like hell, the pain is creeping from the neck, to my limps, to my brain. I did stop at some point, because the pain took a toll on my mentality and physically, even though the time is reversed, my body still remember the feeling of it, being stabbed in the neck”
The boy is being honest, Bae Hu-ryeong silently listen to Kim Gongja, furrowing his brows, the Sword Emperor sighs heavily, making Kim Gongja flitched
“Hey?! What with that, you’re the one asking me… I know it’s stupid, but I don’t have other choice, that’s the only way I can stop Yoo Sooha before he got the skill and be a psychopath killing everyone”
“I compliment your mental strength for not completely crumbling down like that”
“... Thanks? You’re scaring me, y’know? Why are you being so thoughtful today?”
“This fucking brat?! Can’t I just worry about you?? You know what, you should die more, in coming some big hobgoblins!! Goodluck then Kim Zombie kekekeke” - Bae Hu-ryeong crackling, float higher than Kim Gongja eyesight
“?!?! I SWEAR TO G- Ack these ones are so annoying –..” - He cussed, then blocked the attack from the hobgoblins
The Sword Emperor watched over the boy that day, trying his best to survives and to train, his muscle brain seems to be thinking alot for once, tired, he stopped. He decided to just keeps the kid company, at least this time, whenever he died, he will not be alone anymore.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This rascal is really playing with death. Ain’t no way he is betting with Bae Hu-ryeong he will clear the 10th floor with only two deaths. The Sword Emperor wishes he can manifest his arm physically to knock on the brat’s head right now.
“Do you seriously think you can beat the 10th floor like that?! You haven’t mastered the aura yet, does climbing the tower is a joke to you now?! This brat, I swear to god you’re even more sick in the head than granpops Marcus!! At least that ol’ boomer of a man still thinking these all over and being cautious?!” - He spats out, keep pointing at Kim Gongja’s head
“Aisshhh you’re so annoying! Stop poking me like some annoying mosquitoes. Let’s bet then?!”
.
.
.
.
…
After he cleared the 10th floor, despite being happy he won the bet with only two coins of death, Kim Gongja keeps looking at the melted doll in front of him, his hand still has the feeling of wax melting off. His eyes started to sting, biting his gum, he stopped his tears and just silently mourned the children’s death.
Bae Hu-ryeong looks around, not a single dolls left to keep their shapes, all turned to melt wax and dust. Then he looks at the young boy in front of him, deeply in thought. He remembered their conversation.
“Do you know why the Black Witch and her guild are able to escape even though they haven’t cleared the floor?”
“Why?”
“Permission you idiot! The boss floor giving them permission to get out!! Because it only want someone to be able to help it, to HELP THEM escape!”
His pained, anguish expression still haunted Bae Hu-ryeong’s mind. It makes his warrior heart soften, choked up feeling like someone chained it, locked it to a cage just like how the children had gone through. He huffed, tried to clear his head before his only-think-about-fights-and-training brain turned into those emo depressed dude brains, he disliked the thought of it.
Bae Hu-Ryeong remembered. Including this time, the punk has been died to fire for the third times. He looks at the boy, who still stubbornly looking at the melt wax, asked
“Hey”
“What. Don’t you see I’m busy right now?”
“It’s done, what do you mean you are still busy, don’t joke with me rascal. Hey”
“What?! Just say it then”
“You” - Bae Hu-ryeong floats above him, flipped his entire body down to look at Kim Gongja. “The fire you died on this floor. Does it hurt in the way that you experienced when that Yoo- uh.. that Flame dickhead or whatever burned your head? Just curious”
“...”
“...”
“The fire that time burned me, left me with hatred, betrayal, it’s hot. It’s hurt in a way leaving you with the bitter taste of your own flesh being burnt, your nose sting with the flesh turned to ashes, you inhaled it and then being delusional thinking that, maybe this is a dream. In no way that the one I looked up to, the one I spent half my life, worshiping him like a savior of mankind, burnt me to death because he wanted to get rids of the evidence”
The boy puked his feelings out, he suddenly cannot stop anymore.
“This time… it felt the same.”
“Huh? The same?”
“The same. In the way I can feel the children’s feelings. They felt helpless, chained, no escaped, no one saving them, the savior they thought they had, was just a psychopath who doesn’t think of them as human, but simply experimentals and sacrifices. They blindly trust wrong adults. The agony of being betrayed, of being left to die in this hellish fire… Hahaha, damn. What the fuck.. I think i’ll just… staying awake tonight”
He sobs. Bae Hu-ryeong pretends he didn’t hear that. He just sits behind Kim Gongja, lending him his ghost back, offering silence comfort.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a while, they head out. The Sword Emperor takes a look at Kim Gongja expression, his eyes corners tint red, he sniffles softly, but looks better than earlier. Bae Hu-ryeong decided to fuck it, then just teasing the hell out of the brat he looks after, also because he just remembered the bet he had with that rascal.
“Hey kid! That method of your own to subjugate the boss was amazing! I compliment you for thinking it that way kahahaha, as expect you learn from the best huh?”
“... Huh, what with this sudden shift of attitude and sudden compliment?”
“Well?! Accept it?! You did amazing, You went thru that with your own skill! Kahaa as your partner, i felt amazing too!”
“Wait..I remember now.. our bet”
“No.. NO, Kim Gongja hey, hey hey, listen kid.. hey.-”
“Calls me Kim Gongja-nim from now on, dear Sword Emperor-nim!”
“AisGHH this rascal HELL NO”
.
.
[Announcing to everyone]
[Today, the 10th floor’s stage has been cleared.]
[Announcing to everyone again]
[Today—
.
.
The brat really did it. He proves his worth. Bae Hu-ryeong thinks back.
The experience of supervising Kim Gongja, is indeed different from looking after granpops Marcus.
It’s because, he can now see that the kid is more than just a desperate loser seeking attention, blinded by envy and jealousy of people who live better lives than him.
Kim Gongja is human. The one that has many flaws, but also has more compassion than anyone he met, despised all the things he felt, went through. Bae Hu-ryeong thought, sticking with this rascal ain’t that bad. If he can see more of what Kim Gongja truly is… and, look after him. As a mentor, as a partner, as a friend.. and, as someone he could call his child.
Maybe, he will write a diary. Observing Kim Gongja as the title.
But oh well, where can he find a textbook he can get a hand on.
Let it all be written in his head for now. Having some words in his warrior brain won’t make that much difference anyway.