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"The leading models for gamma-ray bursts involve a relativistic wind emanating from a compact central source. The prompt gamma-ray emission is usually attributed to energy dissipation within the outflow itself, arising from internal shocks within the flow that arise …"
The next time he opens his eyes, he expects Dan Heng to have left the Luofu with the rest of the Astral Express Crew. Instead, Jing Yuan finds him by his bedside, reading aloud what seems to be a paper published by the IPC.
Jing Yuan makes no effort to notify the other man. Instead, he allows himself to indulge in Dan Heng’s presence—an occurrence that he’s sure he will never come across the second time. His eyes trace Dan Heng’s features; gone are the pointed ears and protruded horns that frames his face, replaced by a youthful appearance that is no different than any other human. You wouldn’t guess that he is the incarnation of the previous High Elder.
"… The most popular emission mechanism is synchrotron radiation from relativistic electrons accelerated in the shocks, which radiate in the strong magnetic fields within the shocked plasma …"
Surprisingly, Jing Yuan doesn’t feel … dejected at the prospect. Before, even though in his mind he knows that Dan Feng is long gone, he still sees the shadow of his dear friend in Dan Heng. How could he not, when they share the same face? The same eyes? The same voice?
Embarassingly, it is what motivates him to make sure Dan Heng can get out of the Shackling Prison, albeit in the form of banishment.
"… This aims towards establishing tools that would enable us to distinguish between the supranova model and other progenitor models through observations,"
But now, after everything that happened? They couldn’t be more different. Dan Feng puts up a wall around himself even to his closest friends, while Dan Heng lets himself be vulnerable to the people he considers family, as displayed on Scalegorge Waterscape. Dan Feng was dedicated to his study in medicine and alchemy, while Dan Heng seems to be more interested in astronomy, if the books on his bedside are any indication. Dan Heng is also apparently a more adept storyteller, even though his choice of bedtime stories are … interesting.
"It was later suggested that the most natural mechanism by which the Supra-Massive Neutron Star can lose its rotational energy is through a strong pulsar-type wind … "
The last thought earns a chuckle from him. Since Jing Yuan was trained to take the mantle of Luofu’s general, he never experienced what people called a normal childhood. He used to wonder what it would be like to have bedtime stories; to be fed with tales of gods and warriors as he traveled to dreamland. Instead, he got read an encyclopedia.
Jing Yuan wonders though, why is Dan Heng reading to him? He could just read his paper in silence.
"… General? How long have you been awake?"
Ah, he is lost in his observation so much that he doesn’t realize the table has turned. "Not long, I assure you." Jing Yuan puts on a smile. "How long have I been asleep?"
"Five days."
"That long?"
"You were in critical condition in most of them. Even with the Healer Lady’s intensive care, we weren’t sure—"
Then as if on cue, Jing Yuan has a coughing fit. Dan Heng hurriedly gives a glass of warm and helps him drink. A hint of concern is clear across Dan Heng’s face. Jing Yuan once again wonders, why is Dan Heng … worried for him?
"I’m alright." He tries to reassure. But is he though? Even being awake is sapping his energy away. "How is everyone?"
"The Master Diviner and your apprentice are maintaining public order, while my friends are ensuring the Stellaron remains sealed."
"The Disciplines?"
"Many are contained, although you have to ask The Master Diviner for more details."
"I see." Jing Yuan nods, already making a mental note. "What about you? Are you alright? Any injuries?"
"I have no major injuries. Rather, with all due respect, General—"
"Jing Yuan."
"… What?"
"We are not in formal settings. You can call me Jing Yuan."
Dan Heng lets out an exasperated sigh. "Jing Yuan," he says again with an emphasis. "You should be worrying about yourself."
"I’m—"
Perhaps because Dan Heng is no longer distracting him with his reading, Jing Yuan feels the pain that shoots throughout his body. He collapses with a scream. His soul feels like being submerged into Lunarescent Depths and crushed into tiny pieces. It’s painful—why is it painful? His connection to Phantylia should be severed after his joint attack with Dan Heng. Unless this is another attempt at sabotage?!
"Jing Yuan!"
When Jing Yuan snaps his attention back, he finds a pair of turquoise eyes staring back at his golden ones.
"I—it hurts," Jing Yuan moans. His voice is raspy and his breath is rugged. Jing Yuan reaches for the hands that cradle his face, a gesture which Dan Heng returns.
"I know. Your psyche still has lingering damage from your link to Phantylia."
"The Alchemy Commission—"
"While I have confidence the healers at the Alchemy Commission are more than capable to treat you, they still have to tend to the injured Knights." Dan Heng explains. "I’m going to help you. While my healing capabilities are not as good as the Healer Lady, this much is not a problem."
Jing Yuan can only nods. His is mind already delirious from the pain. He has no energy left to argue.
"Focus on my voice." Dan Heng whispers, "Within the framework of the supranova model, a pulsar is formed in a supernova explosion …"
And here he thought Dan Heng was going to serenade him some Vidyadhara folk song. He supposes that’s where their similarities end.
Suddenly, a breath of cool fresh air enveloped them, breaking Jing Yuan from his thought.
He watches in awe as The Nameless aptly manipulates the air around them. With a hum, Dan Heng commands the air to swirl around the Luofu’s general, earning a giggle as it tickles his cheeks. It then congregates above them, forming a sphere. Dan Heng hums another command, making it spins rapidly until it glows and explodes.
Jing Yuan closes his eyes and braces for impact, but feels nothing. Instead, he finds countless stars blinking back at them. He tries to reach them, but they melt under his touch. He tries to reach more, yet all of them disappear the moment they meet his skin. It frustrates him for some reason, though Jing Yuan realizes he feels less pain than before.
"And you said you weren’t confident in your ability," Jing Yuan chuckles.
"And I stand corrected." Dan Heng diverts his eyes. "I need to insert my energy little by little else it tires your body."
Jing Yuan only hums, ending their conversation. Now that the pain has lessen, he can focus more to the phenomenon surrounding them.
The more Jing Yuan absorbs the stars, the lest it feels like stars. Instead, it’s wet—like water droplets. If so, how can mere water shines as bright as stars? Not only that, the stars are connected through colorful dust that are soft to touch. Honestly, it reminds him of a nebula he once saw in the night sky.
"You are amazing, Dan Heng." Jing Yuan praises, still fascinated, still playing with a whole nebula around them, still doesn’t realize what he just did carry more weight than he thought.
(Dan Heng looks away from Jing Yuan. Red hue is painted across his face. His heart feels like jumping out of his chest. He wants to retort his praise—this is the least he can do after … everything. But he finds his words stuck in his throat. So he settles with watching Jing Yuan gleefully play with the man-made nebula.
Although, Dan Heng just realizes, he probably should stop Jing Yuan before—).
One second Jing Yuan is playing with the cosmos in his palm and the next he has Dan Heng holding him from falling onto his headboard. From then he should’ve just said his thanks, get some sleep or two, and move on. Yet he stays still as Dan Heng’s grip on him tightens, their breaths mingle, and their eyes reflect each other.
Jing Yuan’s breath hitches as Dan Heng moves closer to him. The Nameless snickers as Jing Yuan’s body tense. As if to tease him more, he turns his face, leans onto his ear, and blows air bubbles. Jing Yuan closes his eyes once again, already resigned to whatever Dan Heng is going to do with him. Instead, the Vidyadhara only whispers, "I told you absorbing too much will tire your body."
Jing Yuan takes a deep breath and exhales a long one. What was he thinking.
"So you’ve said." He tries to mask his embarrassment with a cough. Dan Heng laughs at his reaction. He then helps Jing Yuan lay on his bed and tucks him in.
Before Jing Yuan can protests much, he lets out a big yawn. It seems like Dan Heng’s technique is taking its effect.
"Rest well, Jing Yuan. You’ve earned it."
Jing Yuan yawns once again.
"It seems like I have inconvenienced you once more. Thank you, Dan Heng." he closes his eyes. "When I wake up, will you—"
Jing Yuan stops himself before he even entertains the idea. He lets sleep overtake him, still with an astronomy paper accompanying him to slumber.
"… the luminosity of the wind is roughly constant and the wind should energize the pulsar wind bubble, depositing an energy of the order of …"
The next time he opens his eyes, Dan Heng is still by his bedside; still reading his paper. Only, he is also holding Jing Yuan’s hand for dear life.
"You’re still here?"
Dan Heng rise up, meets his eyes, and smiles bashfully. "Of course." the latter replies, as if it is the most obvious thing in the universe. Hearing that, Jing Yuan feels a pang in his heart. A pang that he hasn’t felt in a long time. A pang that he isn’t sure he is allowed to feel again.
"Gen—" Jing Yuan shakes his head. "Jing Yuan," Dan Heng corrects himself before continuing, "how are you feeling?"
"Better, due to you." While Dan Heng sighs in relief, Jing Yuan feels the opposite. He is now more puzzled than ever.
There is only one reason Jing Yuan can think of why Dan Heng is worked up about his well-being. He needs to reassure the other party that he is a man of his words.
"While I’m grateful for you assistance, you don’t have to worry about our agreement." Jing Yuan says. "I have left a decree to carry my promise to you. Your banishment will be lifted. You will walk under someone’s shadow no mo—"
"Jing Yuan, I volunteer to be here."
The Arbiter General turns to the Nameless.
"Why?"
"… Do I need a reason to?"
"Yes, actually." Jing Yuan breathes in. "I was under the impression that you are not fond of me."
Dan Heng tilts his head in confusion. "Why would you think that?"
"Because," Jing Yuan pauses. He doesn't need to complete his sentence for both of them to understand.
Dan Heng lets out a long sigh. He folds his paper and put it on the table next to Jing Yuan’s bed. He then move to sit beside the Luofu's general and shifts closer. "While it irritates me that you keep seeing him in me, I don't necessarily hate you."
"Oh?" Jing Yuan perks. "Then how do you feel about me?"
Jing Yuan waits as Dan Heng weights his answer. Each second feels like it stretches into forever; every tick weights more and more heavily in his heart. He doesn’t know what kind of answer he expects, but he thinks he will not survive another heartbreak if Dan Heng truly hates him.
"My feeling towards you … it’s complicated," Dan Heng utters. If his tail is still shown, Jing Yuan is sure he will wag it like a confused dog. "But if I have to choose one, I suppose it would be gratitude. You saved me after all."
"I did not." Jing Yuan refutes. "I didn't free you out of kindness."
"I am aware. You were reminded of him." Dan Heng’s voice wavers, seemingly resigned by the unescapable fact. "Nevertheless, I wouldn't be here if not for you."
"Dan Heng …,"
"Have you ever spend a day at the Shackling Prison, General?" Jing Yuan shakes his head. "It’s a place where time doesn’t exist. The light that enters the prison is very minimal; you can’t tell between day and night. It’s dark on the brightest day, damp on the driest month, cold on the scorchiest season. Even for a Vidhyadhara who is born and die on the sea, it is still no place to live."
Dan Heng continues, "At the time, I hadn’t the slightest idea what outside was like. The only people I’ve ever met was the faceless Cloud Knights, passing inmates, or the educators that the Preceptors sent. But even they were a blur, since they were always outside of my cell.
When you’ve spend your entire life like that, your sense of self begun to dwindle. I’m sure you’ve seen the reports on me—about how unresposinve I was. How uncooperative I had been to their questioning. How I was confused all the time. They were questioning me about Dan Feng, blaming me of his sins, while I drew blank in my memory."
"I’m sorry." Jing Yuan says, but Dan Heng just smiles.
"That time, you probably visited me out of obligation. But to me, it was everything." The Nameless squeezes his hand. "You were the first to ever stepped inside my cell. You were the first who worry about the burn scar on my wrists. You were the first who made sure I have a proper bed and blankets. You were the first who gave me books and trinkets to keep me occupied. You were the first who bothered to care about me.
I am aware, Jing Yuan, about all the things you did for me." Dan Heng pauses, "The favors you pulled, the scorns you endured, the banishment you edicted—all for me to have a chance to live a life. I am aware of all of it. Even if—even if—"
"—Even if I did it because of him?"
"Yes." he answers, adamantly.
"Is that why you helped me? Even though I‘ve disrespected your identity?"
"Well, the Crew also voted." Dan Heng says cheekily. "Besides,"
Dan Heng brushes Jing Yuan’s bangs, revealing his hidden golden orb. Jing Yuan’s gaze follows as Dan Heng’s hand traces his cheek, then his chin, then to the end of his silver hair. Dan Heng stares deeply into Jing Yuan's eyes, before he curls Jing Yuan silver strands and brings it into a chaste kiss.
Oh.
"Oh."
"Oh." Dan Heng parrots him.
"Well, that was unexpected." Jing Yuan could feel the heat rising on his cheeks.
"And why is that?"
Jing Yuan says nothing. Honestly, he is at loss for words. Based on their interaction during the crisis, he was certain that Dan Heng wants absolutely nothing to do with him (well, it didn’t help that he also egged him on). Yet it was the opposite.
There’s also the matter of Dan Heng’s past life. Sure, he says he remembers nothing of it; remembers nothing of his relationship with Yingxing and what led to his sins. But if he remembers … what then? Even though they both hate each other now … it’s still not a guarantee that he will not be left behind again.
"Jing Yuan," Dang Heng calls, his voice is clearly frustrated. "I am not him."
"As you've stated several times."
"Then why are you so adamant that I will be interested with the same person instead of you?"
Jing Yuan blinks.
"It’s frustrating! Ever since that day, all I want is you. But—"
Dan Heng stops himself. His eyes widen in surprised while his cheeks steadily grows redder. He abruptly stands up and dashes towards the door. Thankfully, Jing Yuan has a great reflect. He manages to take Dan Heng’s arm and holds him in place.
"Please let me go, General." Dan Heng begs. But Jing Yuan only tightens his hold.
"Where are you going?"
"Away. Anywhere. Aeons, I’m so stupid. We barely know each other. Of course you’d be surprised. And you’re also not well and I’m only adding a burden to you!"
"Then let’s get to know each other."
That stops Dan Heng on his tracks. His stance seems to be more relax. Jing Yuan gestures Dan Heng to sit by his side, which the younger man comply.
"Forgive me, Dan Heng. My lack of response is not due to disgust." Jing Yuan says. "It’s just … this is such an abrupt development."
"I know. I’m sorry."
"Don’t be. I’m just delighted that you still want to do anything with me." The General beams. "But it is as you said, as of now we barely know each other."
Dan Heng’s face fell.
"But it’s not something that can’t be fix."
Dan Heng’s face perks up.
"Therefore, like I said earlier, let’s get to know each other."
Jing Yuan extends his hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Dan Heng, the Nameless of the Astral Express."
Dan Heng looks at Jing Yuan, then to the extended hand. He smiles ear-to-ear as he shakes Jing Yuan’s hand. "You too, Jing Yuan."
That’s right, then and now is different. They lack the knowledge of each other, so it’s too early for Jing Yuan to worry about being left behind. As one of the Arbiter General who is responsible for millions of lives on his ship, Jing Yuan has learned to trust in others; and that is what he is going to do. To trust in Dan Heng and whatever relationship that will blossom between them.
"Splendid!" Jing Yuan clasps his hands. "Now that we are more acquainted, may I ask you something?"
The Nameless nods.
"Why the interest in me? I am just an ordinary old man."
"You are hardly ordinary."
"Wow. You did not even refute the old man part!"
"You are at least few centuries older than me." Jing Yuan snickers at Dan Heng’s remarks. "Anyhow, I already told you why."
"Well, if you hold interest in everyone that helps you, I think I am going to be jealous."
It’s fun to watch Dan Heng be flabbergasted. He is practically melting to the floor below. But Jing Yuan waits patiently as Dan Heng mentally preps himself.
"Promise me you won’t laugh."
"You have my words."
Dan Heng looks at Jing Yuan, before darting his eyes away.
"Back then, amongst the book you gave me, there was one that talked about about stellar objects. One of the chapter talked about nebulae; of it’s components, it’s types, how it was made. There was one line in that book that stuck with me: it said nebulae could be million times brighter than a star.
I had spent my entire life in that cell and only had these books as my guides to the outside. It made me wondered, if a star is already so bright that it can illuminated planets that span across light years, how can a collection of dust even be more luminous than that? To the point that it is used as a waypoint in star chart system by the IPC and the Express?"
Dan Heng pauses for a while, before continuing his story. His cheeks gets redder by the seconds, and it only makes Jing Yuan more curious.
"When we met the first time, your eyes … it reminded me of the nebula’s photo in the book. I thought, oh this must be what they were talking about; since your eyes are the only thing that glowed in that dark cell." Dan Heng huffs. "Since then, I’m curious of you. I want to know you, the one behind the Seat of Divine Foresight. The real Jing Yuan."
It’s hard to contain his elation, but Jing Yuan has to if he wants to ask a follow up question. "Now that you’ve known me better, how are my eyes compared to a nebula?"
Dan Heng darts his gaze away and whispers so low it is barely audible.
"Incomparable. Not even the brightest one can be compared to them."
Jing Yuan blinks, then he lets out a laugh so loud it shakes his whole room.
"Oh, Dan Heng," he muses, "Please do not do this to anyone else. I truly am going to get jealous."
If a human could combust due to embarrassment, Jing Yuan thinks Dan Heng will do it.
"Our main conclusion is that existing afterglow observations set interesting constraints on the model parameters, the most important of which is …"
The next time he opens his eyes, Dan Heng is still by his bedside, finishing the last chapter of that paper from the IPC.
Jing Yuan makes no effort to notify the other man. Instead, he dwells on their current situation. When Jing Yuan is well enough to stand on his two feet, there is no doubt that works will swarm to him. With the crisis behind them, it is time to rebuild Luofu, and it will be long and arduous. There’s the matter of reorganizing the remaining Cloud Knights, reassuring the public, the housing of people from Alchemy Commission, the list goes on.
"What are you thinking?"
Jing Yuan turns to Dan Heng and smiles. "Nothing much. Just the Luofu."
But, Jing Yuan knows that it is not impossible. After all, 24 hours ago he was sure he won’t see Dan Heng again. Look what happens now.
"You’ll be fine. You’re a capable leader, and you have many excellent people to help you."
"Thank you for the vote of confidence. Though if I require any assistance, will you come and help?"
Jing Yuan holds Dan Heng’s hand. Dan Heng is startled at first, but he returns the gesture back.
"Of course I will." he utters. "But if you’re talking about the Astral Express, we’re happy lend you a hand anytime you need us."
Jing Yuan chuckles. Yes, they will be alright.