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Kite isn’t sure what compelled him to enter the bar. He’s not an alcoholic, he doesn’t even drink occasionally. Maybe it was the incessant nagging from the rest of his survey team because he’s a ‘buzzkill’ if he doesn’t come with every once in a while. Maybe he was in the mood for people watching.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter, because he’s spending the whole time watching his team get blackout drunk. Meanwhile he’s spending his time watching them, making sure nothing bad happens. Call him paranoid, but it’s a bar, and he intrinsically doesn’t trust bars.
“...he’s too much of a twink,” He overhears a feminine voice say.
“I forgot you only like guys with muscles, Bisky.” A man replied. He looked over to the table it was coming from, and saw them discreetly looking at him.
He did a double take when he saw what looked like a twelve year old girl talking to a guy who looked like he was late for a job interview. How did a twelve year old girl get into a bar? Is that her dad?
“He’s staring at us,” the man said, looking straight into Kite’s eyes. Kite took it as a sign to approach, walking up to them and looking down at them both.
“Do I even wanna know why you’re here with someone this young?” Kite asked.
“If you were more muscular, I’d swoon,” The girl said dryly. “I’m old enough to be here, though.”
“It’s true,” The man said. “She’s actually nearly twice my age-”
He was cut off by the girl reaching over the table and punching him in the face. “Don’t talk about your teacher like that!” She scolded.
“You want me to believe that she,” he gestured to the girl, “Is twice as old as you? She looks half your age.”
“You’re gonna make me actually swoon if you keep complimenting me like that,” She said with a smile. She held out her hand for a shake. “Biscuit Kreuger, but call me Bisky. This is my student, Wing.” She gestured to the man, still reeling from getting his glasses shoved into his face by a fist.
“Nice to meet you,” He greeted with a smile.
“I’m not complimenting you, I’m expressing concern for what looks like a pre-teen in a pub.” Kite explained, but took the hand regardless.
“Don’t worry, I actually am old enough. I just have a serious case of babyface.”
“And baby height,” Wing added.
“Oh please, let women be five foot one, Wing! It’s a normal height!” She scolded before leaning back with a sigh. “Anyway, care to join our conversation, mystery twink?”
“My name is Kite,” he replied so that he wouldn’t have to hear the words ‘mystery twink’ again. “And no thank you, I’m fine.”
“Come on, we’ll buy you a beer?” Bisky asked, doing her best attempt at puppy eyes.
“I don’t drink.”
“I meant we’ll buy you a beer if you leave,” she corrected. Kite groaned.
“You’re not letting this go, are you?”
“Nope!” She said, popping the p. “You seem interesting. Come, join the conversation.”
He looked back to his survey team, enjoying themselves from across the bar. They’d probably be fine if Kite spent a little time entertaining these two.
“Fine,” he said as he gave in, sitting down. “What were you talking about before I came over?”
“Discussing old acquaintances and looking at hot guys.” Bisky answered.
“We were actually just talking about those two kids before we spotted you,” Wing reminded her. “Two wild kids who approached us separately to train under us.”
Bisky laughed. “Oh yeah, those two brats! Didn’t they approach you at an underground fighting ring?”
“Heaven’s Arena,” Wing confirmed. “No idea why they were there, apparently they needed money. They were already extremely strong, but asked me to help them get stronger.”
Kite raised an eyebrow. Why did the name Heaven’s Arena sound so familiar?
Bisky laughed. “And I met them during a gaming competition for Greed Island. One of them was a saint, an absolute sweetheart. The other made me want to bash his head in with a rock half the time.”
That one definitely was familiar. “I actually know the guy who made Greed Island,” Kite said offhand.
“What?!” Bisky nearly screamed. Several people around the bar looked over at them, but she didn’t care. “Which one? There were a lot.”
“Met most of them, actually. Before they made the game.” Kite reminisced. “One of them actually taught me everything I know about pretty much everything.”
“That must’ve been a fun experience,” Wing said with a smile. “Bisky was obsessed with that game for a good while-”
“Because the reward for beating it was anything from the book!” She said, excited. “I got my beautiful blue planet gem because of that game! My baby! My precious!”
“Know anyone else interesting?” Wing asked, cutting through Bisky’s ravings about her gem.
Kite thought for about half a second before the answer came to him.
“My neighbor. He’s a great kid, son of my mentor, but I didn't know that when I met him.”
“Small world,” Wing remarked.
“It is. Anyway, his best friend, who is basically his boyfriend, is a criminal.”
Bisky spat out her drink.
“I’m sorry, what?” Wing asked, a little baffled.
“His best friend. Basically dating. Absolute fiend.” Kite said, taking a sip from a cup of water he had. “One time he called me, asking how to hotwire a car. The guy who owned the car was banging on the windows as he was calling.”
“Please tell me more,” Bisky nearly begged.
“I dread his calls.” Kite responded. “Every time he calls, there is some illegal activity going on. Meanwhile, my neighbor’s calls are always so calm. He’s a good kid. They both are, to be fair, but the demon kid also once asked me if I had any bleach in my closet because he was rigging traps around his apartment in case of intruders. I had to explain to him that not only are setting up traps illegal, but that chemical warfare is more illegal.”
Wing was barely holding himself together at this point. Bisky wasn’t even trying - she was moments away from rolling on the ground laughing. “What, uh-” Wing snorted. “What else has he done?”
“For a while he exclusively communicated with his family via carrier pigeon, so that they couldn’t track his location. Oh, also, he lives alone in the same apartment complex. I have no idea how he was able to secure an apartment.” Kite explained.
“Fascinating,” Bisky said, recovered slightly from earlier. “You like him though?”
“He’s a good kid,” Kite insisted as he took a sip from his cup. “Just wish he’d ask the other kid out.”
Wing sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Are they oblivious?”
Kite leveled a look with him. “Think of the most romantic thing you could say to someone that doesn’t include the word romantic, and they’ve said it to each other. I overheard one calling the other ‘his light’ a few weeks ago.”
The two were both losing it once again.
“One of them thinks it’s unrequited. I’m pretty sure the other one doesn’t know what gay people are.” Kite said, further adding fuel to the fire. It took the two several minutes and a handful of glares from other patrons to calm down.
“Oh god, that reminds me of the brats I met.” Bisky said, launching into her own story. “I thought they were dating for the longest time. Hell, I thought I saw them kiss once. Later that day I asked one of them what their relationship was, and get this- he said ‘best friends’. Now, this shattered my worldview. And in an attempt to help them get together, I told him he should kiss the other brat.”
“Do you want to know,” Bisky asked, stressing every word, “what this brat did?”
“Is that rhetorical?” Kite asked. Bisky ignored him.
“He lit up, said it was a great idea, then ran off to where the other brat was walking over. He then kissed the crown of his head, and they started wrestling. Keep in mind, this isn't a grassy area or anything. This is a rocky field. After fifteen minutes of that they were fine and ready to go, and when I asked later, he said that his grandmother used to do that.”
“The poor other kid,” Wing bemoaned. “Every time I hear that, I feel more and more bad for him.”
“I don’t, he’s a goddamn menace!” Bisky pouted, crossing her arms. “He kept calling me a hag. Do I look like a hag?!”
“I don’t understand how we’re talking about the same kid,” Wing shot back with an eye roll. “He was so sweet when I met him. A little jumpy, but still sweet and he listened to me. The other one, though…”
“The other one was way sweeter! He listened to me, and didn’t insult me constantly. He was less combative, more open to conversation-”
“He tried to fight in the arena after getting his arm and several ribs broken. I had to get the other one to practically restrain him until it healed.” Wing complained.
Before either of them could respond, someone came up and tapped Kite on the shoulder. “We’re heading out, Kite.”
“Sounds good,” he said, standing. He then turned back to the other two he was talking with. “It was a pleasure talking to you.”
“Likewise!” Bisky responded, ever as bubbly. “I’m sure we’ll see you soon!”
“Have a good night,” Wing said with a smile. Kite nodded, and walked away to the rest of his survey team.
“Who was that?”
“Some people who were talking to me,” He said in lieu of explanation.
_________
Kite honestly didn’t expect to see those two again. He certainly didn’t expect to go back to the bar. But honestly, he had just spent a day being harassed and nearly killed by a non-binary person dressed as a cat that had several weapons. He needed something to take his mind off of the attempted murder at the hands of someone wearing cat ears.
And as he opened the door to the bar, he was met with what he could only describe as a clown being ushered out by an employee.
“You see, my ability, Bungee gum,” The clown explained, “I named it after a gum brand I used to have growing up-”
“For the love of god, shut up.” The employee interrupted, shoving him out of the bar. The clown did not resist, merely letting himself get pushed out. Kite moved out of the way of him, watching him get practically thrown out of the bar before the door slammed shut.
“Do I want to ask?” Kite asked finally.
“That guy comes around sometimes and starts explaining his magic tricks to everyone. We all think he’s crazy, but he pays for his drinks, so we let him stay until he starts harassing patrons.” The employee explained.
He raised an eyebrow, but otherwise didn’t question it. He went to the bartender to get something to drink, before he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he had to look down to see who wanted his attention.
“How did you reach my shoulder,” Kite asked idly.
“Respect your elders!” Bisky chirped as she hopped up on a barstool. “Wanna share more stories?” She waved over the bartender, and pointed to the liquor she wanted.
“Do they have to be about demon children?” Kite asked, watching as the man poured a shot.
“Nah. Why, you got a better story?” She asked as the man placed the shot on the bar. Kite swiped it before she could drink it, and downed the whole thing.
“I got stabbed by a non-binary cat and nearly lost my arm,” He explained when she leveled him with a look for stealing her shot.
“That sounds like a riveting story. You’re paying me back for that shot, by the way.” She said, before turning to the bartender. “Can we just have the bottle?”
Kite handed over some money as Bisky took the bottle, hopping off the stool and heading over to a familiar booth. Kite followed behind, sitting down next to Wing in the booth.
“Hello again, Kite.” Wing said with a calm smile. “What brings you here alone today?”
“Nearly got murdered,” He muttered as he poured himself a drink. “Needed something to take my mind off of it.
“That’ll do that to you,” Wing agreed. “Care to share?”
So Kite shared the tale of how he was just checking out a local ant species, before this person cosplaying as a cat tried to stab them. Every time he would disarm them, they would pull out more weapons. He finally gave up and decided to run away instead of fight after he nearly lost an arm to a chainsaw. He was pretty sure he had been stabbed at least once, but couldn’t find the stab wound, so decided to leave it and just file a police report before going to the bar.
“So,” he said into his drink after finishing his tale about fifteen minutes later. “How was your day?”
“Not too interesting,” Wing replied.
“I got a call from the brat. The obnoxious one.” Bisky complained, rolling her eyes. “Said that he found a rock and wanted to know if I wanted it. I said yes, obviously, so he sent a picture. It was fucking limestone. He just had a chunk of limestone. The photo he sent had the other kid in the background, with a sledgehammer. I don’t even know where they were. I think they were colluding. Next time I see them, it is on sight. ”
“They broke a rock just to mess with you?” Kite asked, slightly surprised.
“They broke a boulder just to mess with me.” Bisky corrected. “Unprompted. First time either of them have called in two weeks.”
“When you say it like that, it makes you sound fond of them,” Wing said as he took a sip of his drink. Bisky shot him as scathing a glare someone can when they look like a twelve year old.
“Sorry for eavesdropping,” A voice came from beside them. “But we heard you were sharing stories?”
The three of them looked over to who was talking. It was a man who looked like a delinquent, standing next to a man in a flowing purple robe.
“Is this a good idea?” The man in the robe asked quietly.
“Of course!” The delinquent said, spinning around. “What were we gonna do otherwise, just sit around and small talk over drinks while we wait for Morel? This is way more fun!”
Bisky sighed and coughed to get their attention. The two looked at her. “Yeah, we were sharing stories about anything, really. Why, you got one?”
“Yeah, sure! Just lemme dig around in my brain for one. Oh, my name’s Knuckle, by the way!” The delinquent held out his hand. “My friend here is Shoot.”
“Why’d you tell them our names,” The man behind him, Shoot, murmured. Kite couldn’t blame him, in all honesty.
“I’m Bisky, and this is Wing, my student!” Bisky said, gesturing to Wing after taking the man’s hand.
“Hello there,” Wing said with a small nod.
“My name’s Kite,” Kite provided as well. He shook Knuckle’s hand right after Bisky finished, and the two sat down.
“Alright! I have a story!” Knuckle declared. “It happened around two months ago, and was a really weird experience. Me and Shoot were hired by our teacher to basically tail these two kids, cause our teacher’s boss has an interest in the kids. Weird, but he said something about potential. He’s a weird old man, though, so I don’t question it.”
“Question,” Bisky asked suddenly. “Is your teacher’s boss a clown?”
Kite looked at her weird. So did everyone else except Wing.
“Uh… not literally?” Knuckle provided, confused. Bisky sighed.
“Thank god. There’s this clown that keeps harassing these two brats I know. Says that they have ‘potential’ and that he ‘can’t wait for them to ripen,” She quoted before sticking her tongue out. “It’s gross. I regret ever thinking he was hot.”
“Oh. Ew. No.” Knuckle said, looking thoroughly grossed out. “Who the hell does that? Anyway, no, it’s just this old dude. His name’s Netero-”
“That makes a lot more sense,” Bisky said, at the same time as Kite and Wing gave understanding nods. Basically everyone knew Netero. And everyone that knows him, knows that ‘weird old man’ doesn’t even begin to cover his personality.
“Anyway,” Knuckle said. “They caught on to the fact I was tailing them. So this one kid, not gonna leak his identity out of respect for him, decides to try and fight me. And obviously, I hold back. Because this kid’s like, fourteen.”
Weird. Same age as Gon and Killua, Kite thought idly.
“I don’t even need to hold back that much, though, because he’s super strong. Like, I’m nearly thirty years old. And this kid half my age was putting up a damn good fight.” Knuckle said, almost like he was bragging. “Eventually though, he got his ass kicked, so his friend decided to help lug him back to the place they were staying. Whatever, no big deal, I thought. Lo and behold, the very next day; I’m just feeding some strays that won’t leave me alone, and they come back. And the kid tries to fight me. Only one of them though, the other one just watched. Think they had an agreement or something.”
“Are you really that strong?” Bisky asked, an eyebrow raised. “You’re talking about nearly getting your ass handed to you by a fourteen year old, with a second equally strong fourteen year old just watching.”
“I’m strong and good at fighting,” Knuckle informed her. “Grew up in a gang, part of the requirements. I mean, look at this!” He rolled up his sleeve and flexed.
“I’m swooning,” Bisky said. It almost seemed like she was, which was a weird sight because she looked like she was a twelve year old.
“As I was saying though, I beat him.” Knuckle continued. “And his friend lugs him back. So I thought, weird, but ultimately didn’t think much of it. Maybe he thought he could beat me the second try, but realized now that he was well and truly beaten. Boy, was I wrong! Next day, same routine. Again, and again- next thing I know, this kid keeps running at me and trying to beat me up for a month straight. The crazy thing is, he was getting better as well. By the end of it, I wasn’t holding back anymore. I still kicked his ass, but he put up a better fight than I could’ve at that age!”
Kite rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his drink. “I can respect the determination.”
“Right?!” Knuckle agreed enthusiastically. “At the end of the month, he stopped trying to beat me up and we became friends.”
“And the other kid?” Wing asked, adjusting his glasses.
“The other kid fought Shoot, and nearly won too!” Knuckle almost bragged again. “And Shoot’s just as strong as I am, even if he doesn’t look it!”
The man in question sunk into his collar slightly at the praise.
“Honestly, that’s rather impressive.” Wing commented, before gesturing behind Knuckle and Shoot. “Sorry to derail the conversation, also, but does anyone know that man?”
All of them turned to look at a man with a comically large smoking pipe walking over to them.
“Oh, that’s our teacher.” Knuckle said calmly before standing up and walking up to the man. “Morel! Hey there!”
“Hey there, Knuckle, Shoot!” He greeted loudly, a little smoke escaping his mouth. “Glad we could meet up! Who’s the crowd?”
“Some people we were talking to. Sharing the story of those two kids, remember?” Knuckle explained.
The next thing that happened, Kite can’t properly explain. This six and a half foot tall man who looks like a heavyweight champion and all around cocky person who wouldn’t be afraid of anything, begins to sweat. Ever so slightly. And at the mere mention of two fourteen year olds. Kite trusts his eyes, too - there’s no chance he was sweating before.
Was he scared of two fourteen year olds, when he looked like he could throw them around with one hand?
“Those brats?” The man, Morel, asked with a hint of surprise. “How come, just sharing stories?”
“Yeah!” Knuckle confirmed. “Telling them how crazy these two kids were. Hey, you should tell them about when Go-”
“I’m not reliving that,” Morel interrupted.
“I’ll buy you a bottle of the best alcohol here,” Bisky offered instantly. “I need to hear this story.”
“Two,” Morel counter offered.
“Two, but one of the bottles is for rounds of drinks here.” She replied. “Final offer.”
“Deal,” Morel agrees finally, pulling up a chair to sit down. Bisky wiggled past everyone stuck in the booth, and headed up to the bartender. “Is she old enough to be here?” He asked.
“Apparently.” Kite said with a shrug. He winced at the motion. Maybe that was where the stab wound was. “My name’s Kite.”
“I’m Wing. Nice to meet you,” Wing said with his hand extended.
“Morel, and likewise.” The man said, shaking Wing’s hand.
“I have your god damn whiskey, old man!” Bisky shouted as she thrust a bottle into his arms, before plopping down next to Kite again. She unscrewed the second bottle and started pouring shots in everyone’s glasses. “Story time now!”
Morel sighed, and drank the shot. “Alright, so it happened about a month ago. This kid wants to help me out with something I’m doing, I say he can’t because he’s barely fourteen. He keeps pushing it, so I decide that if he can beat me in a fight, I’ll let him go.”
“You seem much older than fourteen,” Kite mentioned as he drank his shot. It was good whiskey. “Can’t seem like a fair fight.”
“That’s what I thought,” Morel said with a shrug. “I didn’t want him there, but he seemed like the type that wouldn’t give up without a reason. So I thought on my feet. I was obviously gonna hold back against him, I wasn’t going to beat him to a pulp.”
Bisky scoffed. “You were being weak on those kids.”
Several people eyed her with concern. “What, they could probably take it!” She defended.
“Anyways,” Morel interrupted, “We decided to fight. The first thing he does is get ready to punch me, and there was bloodlust in his eyes. It didn’t fit the kid at all. Imagine the most happy go lucky kid in the world with the eyes of a serial killer.”
Kite imagined Gon with the intent to kill in his eyes. He shuddered slightly, pouring another shot and downing it to wash away the image. It looked too much like Ging for his mental well being.
“I back off, because I’m concerned, and before I can say anything, the look leaves his eyes.” Morel continued. “And he looks at me with his typical sunshine smile, and says to me ‘Sorry Morel-san, I accidentally almost murdered you!’ The worst part is, he was telling the truth!” He took a drink and poured himself another. “I do not doubt for a second he could’ve killed me with his bare hands if he put his mind to it. I’m a pretty good fighter, but I would’ve been helpless.”
“Told you,” Bisky murmured into her glass.
“Be nice,” Wing chided. She flipped him off.
“What about the other kid?” Kite asked. “Knuckle was talking about another kid that was there with him, did he try anything?”
Morel looked at him with a haunted look. “He pulled out a taser and asked if it was his turn.”
Ok, that sounds suspiciously like Killua, but I’m sure there are countless small children that are completely willing to tase an old man into submission out there, Kite attempted to reason to himself. He refrained from asking, though, because the last thing he needed right now was confirmation that the small child that he knew went around threatening to tase old guys.
Before anyone could say anything, Kite’s phone chimed with a text. He quickly pulled it out to check it, and had to hold back a sigh.
“I have to go restrain a child from killing a non-binary cat cosplayer with a chainsaw,” he said, standing up and squeezing past the rest of the crowd. They were all looking at him with minor astonishment and disbelief. “Thank you for the drinks and the conversation.”
____________
Three weeks later, a hospital visit, and one very stern talking to Gon about the dangers of trying to punch the living daylights out of someone wielding a chainsaw , Kite was back at the bar. There wasn’t anything bad happening to him, he just found himself missing the conversation of last time’s group. And so, he opened the door and looked around to see if the group was there again.
There was a much larger group, consisting of everyone from last time. There were a few new faces though; a black haired man in a suit, a man in army clothing, a short and almost bald woman with gray hair and buck teeth, a blonde person in a yellow suit, Ging Freecss, a woman with green hair and round glasses-
Kite froze. Looked over at the man again. A third time. Yeah, there was no mistaking it - the spiky hair poking through his cap, the attire that made it look like he had been adventuring through a desert moments before. That was, in fact, Ging.
“You know, I never thought I’d see you two together at a bar,” The woman with the green hair remarked as she turned to Ging and the man in the yellow suit. “Was it a coincidence?”
“Yes,” Ging said instantly.
“No, he asked me out.” The man in the yellow suit said with one of the fakest smiles Kite had ever seen in his life.
“Like I would ever do that, you oversized rat!” Ging grumbled. “I just heard rumors about there being a bunch of stories being shared here, and I was wondering if there was anything interesting. You just followed me here!”
The woman sighed. “You are both enigmas. I know you two had a thing-”
“There was no thing,” they both denied in sync.
“Pariston, you sent me evidence.” She said, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Oh? Where is this evidence, then?” The man, Pariston, asked. The same fake, shit eating grin on his face.
“It blew up!” She snapped. “You rigged it with explosives!”
“Do I look like someone who knows how to make a self detonating VHS tape?” Pariston asked, his face not changing in the slightest.
“I hate you both.” She said into her hands as she dragged them down her face
“Me too, Cheadle. Me too.” Ging said, patting her on the shoulder. He then turned as saw Kite, and the two stared at each other for a moment. A look of realization crossed across Ging’s face, as he probably realized that Kite had overheard that entire conversation. Then he sighed. “Hi, Kite.”
“Hello Ging.” He said, finally approaching. “Who are your friends?”
“The rat here is Pariston, he followed me here from work,” Ging grumbled as he gestured to the man on his right. “And this is Cheadle, a friend from work that I met here coincidentally.”
“‘Friend’ is a bit tentative,” Cheadle said, rolling her eyes.
“Nice to meet you, my name’s Kite.” He greeted with a nod. He then turned to Ging. “So, I overheard what you were talking about-”
“The answer is no, we did not.” Ging said tightly. “I would rather stick my head in a blender.”
“I’m right here,” Pariston said, mock hurt in his voice.
“I know, it was intended for you,” Ging said without looking at him.
“What’s happening here?” Kite asked, gesturing to the booth full of people. Ging sighed.
“People have started coming here once a week to share bizarre stories. They’re all talking about how they’re trying to beat this one guy whose arm nearly got cut off by a cat with a chainsaw, or something. I’m not really listening too hard.” He cracked his neck. “It’s either that, or trading stories they’ve had with some kids they’ve met. It’s wild to me that they all know so many different insane children.”
Kite decided to not inform Ging of the debacle that happened three weeks ago. For everyone’s sanity.
“Any interesting stories?” Kite asked.
“This clown tried to tell one about these kids he fought. He got about a sentence in before someone called the police, and he bolted.” Ging shrugged. “Other than that, there was one story about this one kid diving in front of a moving train to save his friend. Apparently she heard it from her friend who watched it happen in front of his eyes.”
“That sounds like it would take the cake.”
“The kid also had an eye injury, so his eyes were bandaged up. He did it blind. ” Ging said, with almost a hint of pride in his voice.
“Sounds like you know the kid,” Kite said with a side eye.
“I don’t,” Ging said simply. “But it sounds like something my kid would do.”
“You say that like you’ve talked to him.” Kite replied. He moved closer to the crowd so he could see who was talking.
“Hey, I talked to him!” Ging said angrily.
“When he was a baby does not count.”
“I know that!”
Kite turned to look at him. “Does that mean you just… didn’t speak to him as a baby?”
Ging looked far more guilty than he should’ve. “Not like he would’ve talked back.”
“The fact he’s even slightly well adjusted is astounding.” Kite grumbled. He saw Bisky talking wildly to the rest of the table and anyone near her who would listen, which was an accomplishment because she looked like a twelve year old in a bar. The fact that she was even allowed here was an accomplishment.
“So this kid,” She continued. “He traps this person in a cave with him. This guy has armed explosives on him, and the kid traps himself in a small cave with him. After nearly dropping a boulder on him.”
“I respect it,” Knuckle said with a solemn nod. “Gotta stick to your guns.”
“He nearly lost his arm to an explosive,” Bisky deadpanned. “And what does he do? Use his barely salvageable arm to beat the ever living shit out of a serial bomber. It’s a wonder he’s still alive.”
“Those kids that you taught are insane, Biscuit.” A man in a black suit said with a solemn shake of his head. “What drives you to do something like that?”
“I dunno, but he did say he was on a quest to find his dad. So maybe that?” Bisky said with a shrug. “I know that personally, if I ever meet the kid’s dad, I’m punching him in the face. I don’t care if he said he was fine with the guy abandoning him as a baby, that excuses nothing!”
“Oh, totally! If I meet that kid’s dad, I’m gonna punch him so damn hard in the face!” Knuckle said with a determined look.
Ging’s expression slowly turned from slightly interested, to slowly becoming horrified as a look of understanding overcame him. Kite raised an eyebrow. “Are you alright?”
“I have a meeting.” He said, obviously lying because the man has never been in a meeting ever. “Gotta go.”
Kite stared at him as he swiftly moved for the door.
“I think he realized that he would not be well received here,” Pariston said with his same shit eating smile on his face.
“No shit, sherlock.” Cheadle muttered as she watched the man trip over a chair and faceplant into the floor of the bar. He stood up and quickly strode over to the door, which opened in front of him.
He said something too quiet and far away to make out, then pushed his way outside with a wave.
Then an old man walked in with a happy smile. Cheadle nearly collapsed. Several people stopped talking to look at this man, walking over without a care in the world. He then pulled up a chair, and sat down.
“Chairman?” Someone asked. Kite didn’t know who. Honestly, he was more surprised by the fact that Isaac Netero had just shown up at a bar, sat down, and started drinking. A few people waved to him.
“Please, continue like I’m not here! I heard there was a good time to be had here?”
“Wasn’t expecting that,” Bisky muttered, sighing. “We were just talking about our weird experiences with children. Trying to find out which person has the most hopelessly romantic interaction between two kids. Currently the winner goes to Melody, apparently this thirteen year old dove in front of an oncoming train while blind to save his best friend.”
“That reminds me of two children I met a few years ago,” Netero hummed. “Do you mind if I tell that story?”
“Go right ahead, Netero-san.” Wing said with a smile. “That’s what we’re here for.”
“Of course. Well, it’s not the best story. I’m hardly a storyteller. I was bored, and there were these two young kids. Very active, very upbeat. I decided, ‘why not have a game of ball with them,’ just to pass the time!” He chuckled. “I wrecked them.”
“E-Excuse me?” Someone asked, slight confusion in their voice.
“Absolutely destroyed them,” He said with a wide smile. “One nearly broke his skull trying to headbutt me. The other gave up after around five hours of trying to take the ball from me. It was really quite fun, they pushed me very hard for someone their age.”
Everyone just stared at him blankly.
“I think he might’ve sprained his ankle too, now that I think about it…” Netero said, thinking hard. “Not sure. If he did, he walked on it fine. Give them a few decades and they could give me a serious run for my money!”
Literally nobody knew how to react to that.
Nobody actually ended up reacting to that, because Kite’s phone rang. And all the attention got turned onto him as he pulled out his phone to check who was calling.
He grimaced; Killua. Sighing, he took a deep breath. Every time, every time Killua called, it was some obscene, batshit insane situation he was in. Last time he contacted Kite in any way was actually two weeks ago, texting him that Gon was currently running through the forest to commit a murder.
Finally, under the prying eyes of over a dozen, he answered the phone.
“Hello-”
“ Kite, hi, uh-” Killua interrupted, several things shuffling in the background. “ So- please don’t be mad, this was self defense-”
“It’s been three weeks.” He said plainly.
“ Is that Kite?!” Gon shouted from the background. It was loud enough that everyone around him definitely heard it. Because they were all looking at him with an astonished look. “ Hi Kite!”
“ Don’t be so excited, you idiot, we’re calling cause we need help!” Killua chastised. “ Anyway, Kite, um- I may or may not have dropped an elevator on a guy?”
Kite was this close. This fucking close to just throwing his phone out the window.
“And how, ” Kite stressed, “Do you manage that?”
“ The elevator was linear, and it was above him. I just electrocuted the control panel while he was in the shaft, and it fell on him. He should be around… Gon, what floor is the elevator at right now?”
“ 137, it just stopped!” Gon informed him.
“Floor 137,” Killua repeated. “ Anyway, he’s trying to kill us. We think he’s part of a cult or something.”
“Killua,” Gon’s voice came from far away. “ I think he’s climbing back up.”
“He’s what?!” Killua nearly screamed. Some footsteps. “Oh shit, yeah, he’s climbing back up. Gon, do you have anything we can throw at him?”
“ One of his wrist guards came off, it seems pretty heavy.” Gon said.
“ Yeah, just chuck that at him.” Killua said. Then the sound of something being whipped through the air at extremely fast speeds. Then a distant thud. Then a hiss from Killua. “ Ouch. Glad I’m not him.”
“Why did you two call me?” Kite asked, feeling incredibly tired.
“ Do you know how to treat a second degree burn with only a few water bottles and some snacks?” Killua asked. “ We’ve got Gon’s broken arm down pat, just splintered that with my jacket and a piece of rubble.”
“God, I need therapy.” Kite muttered.
“ We’re pretty sure I have a concussion, I passed out for a solid half a minute after getting thrown into a wall. Gon’s fine though, apart from the broken arm.” Killua explained.
“ Killua,” Gon said with an obvious frown in his voice. “ He’s still climbing up.”
“ Still?! Geez, do we have anything to throw at him? I don’t know if I can keep fighting him if he gets back up here.” Killua complained, not at all sounding like he had the potential to die very soon.
“You said there was rubble you splinted Gon’s arm to,” Kite said as he sat down. “Is there any more rubble?”
“Huh? Gon?” Bisky asked. Several other people murmured amongst their confusion.
“ Is that Bisky?” Killua asked. “ Wait, first- Yes, there’s more rubble.”
“Good, shove it down the elevator shaft.” Kite instructed, ignoring the several concerned looks he was getting.
“On it.” Killua said. There was more rustling, a few hisses of pain, and a grunt before another thud and a cut off scream from a man seemingly far away. Killua clicked his tongue. “ Yep, that did the trick. So now- Is that Bisky?”
Kite looked up at the woman staring at him expectantly.
“How do you know Bisky, Killua?” He asked.
All hell broke loose.
“The hag really is there?!”
“Huh? Killua, is Bisky there?”
“You know Gon and Killua?”
“Did he just call me a hag?!”
“That’s a weird coincidence.”
“Killua’s there too?”
“ Oh. Gon.”
“Those boys are there? It’s been a while.”
“Quiet.” Kite said, cutting through the arguing. “First - Killua, we’re talking about how you ended up in this situation later.”
“ Following your example,” Killua said smugly.
“ I don’t think Kite taught us to drop an elevator on a guy,” Gon muttered from nearby.
“Second - what snacks do you have in your bag?”
“Chocolate, some gummy bears, a piece of toast, a jar of honey that Gon wasted his money on - shove off, Gon! You know there was better stuff to buy. Stop pouting. You’re not gonna make me take it back. I will stand by what I said. Stop looking at me like that-”
“Honey works.” Kite said, interrupting the one sided bickering. “Pour some water on the burn and then put honey on it, should help hold the burn over until you can get proper medical supplies.”
“Alright, Gon’s helping me with the burn now. Thanks- Ow, Gon! Too much pressure!” Killua yelped.
“ Sorry!” He apologized. Kite sighed.
“Third - how do you know Bisky?” He asked.
“ Met her on Greed Island,” Killua explained.
“Oi, brats!” Bisky shouted into the phone. “How do you know this twink?!”
Kite could barely protest the name before Killua responded. “ He’s Gon’s neighbor. How do you know him?!”
“Met him in a bar,” She explained.
“ You’re allowed in bars?” Killua asked, half genuine surprise and half arguing.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Bisky said, smug.
“ I just thought there was an upper age limit, is all.”
Wing laughed lightly and pulled her away as she struggled against him, screaming expletives at the phone.
“Killua, how many random adults do you know on a personal level?” Kite asked finally, before putting the phone on speaker.
“ Not that many-”
“We meet a lot of people!” Gon said excitedly. “ There was one guy with a cool pompadour, the dogs really liked him. His friend had a cool robe too! They were friends with this smoker guy, Morel-san, and he was cool! I think he’s a little afraid of me though. Oh, there’s also Wing-san, he helped us at Heavens Arena-”
“ Does stranger danger mean nothing to you?” Killua sighed.
“ You met them too!” Gon argued.
“ You met them first!” Killua shot back.
“ Nuh uh!”
“What do you mean, ‘nuh uh’, you’re way more social than me! It literally had to have been you!”
“You introduced me to Netero!” Gon pointed out.
“Netero tried to abduct both of us to play keep away, he just happened to see me first!” Killua argued. There was the distinctive sound of a flick, and Gon complaining.
“ Ow! What was that for?!”
“Felt like it.”
“To be fair,” Netero interrupted, “I did grab Killua because I saw him first.”
“Netero-san!” They both chirped, prior argument forgotten. The old man laughed.
“What are you two doing?”
“ Trying to get a laser cutter from a store room in Heavens Arena, but a cult attacked at the same time, and we coincidentally got in a little scuffle that led to the guy throwing Gon into an elevator shaft and diving after him. I then dropped an elevator on him.” Killua explained.
“Sounds fun!” Netero said without a hint of irony.
“Wait,” Kite interrupted. “Killua, I thought you were still mad at Gon for trying to…” he trailed off. He mildly winced at the memory of Gon going on what was essentially a suicide mission to kill Neferpitou. He was actively looking into therapy for both children now.
“ I was,” He said. “ And I still am. He’s redeeming himself by helping me steal a laser cutter.”
“Why do you need a laser cutter?” Kite asked.
“ Need to break through bulletproof glass. And get through several vault doors. Laser cutter is the easiest way to get through that,” Killua said simply. “We should get going though, we’re gonna need to climb down that elevator shaft ourselves. The elevator is broken.”
“There are stairs,” Wing said, slightly concerned. “You know that, right?”
“ There are stairs?!” Killua asked, a mix of surprised and annoyed. “ That would’ve been useful earlier…”
“Ah - Killua, Gon!” Netero said as if he had an epiphany. “We need to have another game of ball!”
“Sounds fun!” Gon shouted from a little bit away.
“Did you grab the laser cutter, Gon?” Killua asked.
“ Yeah, it was behind a pillar! I think I dropped it when he broke my arm.” Gon replied.
“ Alright, let's head out then!” Killua declared.
“ Bye, everyone!” Gon chirped, before hanging up.
Kite stuffed the phone in his pocket with a sigh, before looking up at everyone staring at him. Based on their earlier reactions, and their current awkward silence, they all knew Gon and Killua.
“So…” Knuckle said, a small frown on his face. “They’re dating?”
“Gon’s too dense for that. Killua’s just yearning, the brat he is.” Bisky informed him. “Did you hear nothing of what I told you?”
“I’m glad you calmed down,” Wing said with a smile.
“Oh, I’m still fuming!” Bisky snarled. “Next time I see that small child, it is on sight! ”
“He’s taller than you-” Wing started with a sheepish smile.
“Wing, I do not care.”
“So all those stories about these gay teenagers,” Knuckle tried to clarify. “Were Killua and Gon? And they don’t know it?”
“They’re idiots when it comes to each other,” Kite provided with a huff. “The stories we all shared are proof of that.”
Everyone was silent for a moment, before-
“Was it Gon who dove in front of a moving train-”
“Yes, yes it was.”
“What did I expect?”