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Making love with Echizen was not like he had imagined at all. It was breathtaking, it was passionate, it was intimate and so right. Echizen wasn’t his first, but he quickly washed away the memories of the few who came before him. Tezuka had always imagined what it would have been like to have Echizen’s legs wrapped around him since high school. But Echizen always defied expectations. Echizen wasn’t Tezuka’s first kiss. Tezuka’s first kiss was clumsy and awkward. The way a first kiss should be, but with Echizen it was electrifying and thrilling. Tezuka had had many firsts without Echizen, the boy wonder had taken only one of Tezuka’s first. Echizen Ryoma, was Tezuka’s first real love. Tezuka had always kept the boy at an arm's length, close enough for Tezuka to be in Echizen’s friend group, but not close enough for the boy to initiate conversation with him that did not regard tennis. But, as always Echizen defied norms.
He has since received weekly messages from Echizen. There were times it was simple cocktail trivia, like “Hey, Buchou, did you know that 1 AU (Astronomical unit) is 149,597,871 KM?” but when he was feeling whimsical he would send Tezuka photos of random everyday objects; food he was eating, nice scenic views (which Tezuka enjoyed), but mostly pictures of Echizen’s cat, Karupin. His favorite one, which he will never admit to anyone, was the one Echizen had sent with Karupin on Echizen’s head. In the photo you could only see Echizen’s eyes and hair. He wasn’t wearing his cap. The cat was looking straight at the camera while laying on top of the boy’s head giving it a messier appearance, while Echizen’s eyes looked upwards. Echizen’s eyes had little crinkles indicating that he was smiling. He looked picturesque, he had it as his background on his phone. What Echizen didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.
Tezuka stared at the slumbering young man next to him. He looked twelve when he slept, which somehow made Tezuka feel all warm. He reached out to stroke Echizen’s hair, it was much softer than he had expected. Tezuka was pleasantly surprised. Tezuka let out a deep sigh, he had broken the distance he worked hard to maintain. He wasn’t as dense as Fuji had made it seem, he knew Echizen hadn’t seen him as his tennis captain for some long time now. Tezuka merely never entertained advances made by the rookie. Both Echizen and himself had to take on the world. Tennis waits for no one. ‘'I messed up'’, Tezuka chanted like a mantra in his head. He knew he would have to set Echizen straight once the boy woke up, with the Australian open around the corner this could not interfere. “But for now, just for now, let me enjoy Echizen’s warmth, just a while longer”
With Echizen, life was never boring. He grew to expect and even anticipate Ryoma’s random messages. He would find himself worrying when the boy wouldn’t message him. Of course he would never message him first, he didn’t want to give Echizen the wrong idea. Therefore, Tezuka responded to only some of the messages, but that never stopped Echizen from sending more. Tezuka would sometimes send photos as well, he had sent a few over the years most of them were from his hiking and mountain climbing adventures.
Echizen would only call Tezuka a few times a year, on his birthday(the most consistent call). Echizen always seemed to know what timezone Tezuka was in. There was no doubt in his mind Inui was to blame. He appreciated the calls nevertheless, it was a perfectly normal thing to do on a friend’s birthday. And if he would receive a gift from Echizen, that was normal too. The gifts weren’t extravagant or anything. Echizen’s gifts were thoughtful, a book Tezuka had been meaning to read, the signature of a famous tennis player he admired, a new tennis racket, his favorite tea (which was hard to obtain, since he traveled and he only bought his tea from an artisan tea maker in Japan), and his personal favorite a handmade coupon that said, “Free match with Echizen Ryoma” with no expiration date. Tezuka chuckled.
Echizen stirred next to him. Tezuka could hear the blood rushing in his ears, he knew what he had to do. Echizen turned to look at him, smiled that stupidly beautiful and genuine smile of his. “Mornin’ Buchou” Echizen’s voice was thick with sleep, very sensual and attractive. “Ech-”
The young man must’ve heard something in his tone of voice because the young prodigy whispered, “Just a little longer…” Echizen sighed “Please” Tezuka in all his years of knowing the boy he had never heard of him pleading. Tezuka couldn’t even speak. His heart was breaking, and he didn’t know how to stop it from breaking. He knew this needed to be done. He knew, but he wanted to hold Echizen close. Tezuka nodded once, and that was all Echizen needed. He smiled at Tezuka and scouted closer, he leaned over Tezuka and gave him a kiss. It was a simple brush of lips, but it had left Tezuka breathless. “Okay Buchou, I’m ready now” Echizen gave Tezuka a lackluster grin.
“Echizen, we- this- I” Tezuka couldn’t get the words to come out. His throat burned, his chest felt tight. His breathing became labored.
“It’s okay Buchou. I know, it was nice while it lasted.” Echizen looked defeated. “I do have a request.”
Leave it to Echizen to know what Tezuka would say, “anything” he whispered to Echizen. “I want a proper kiss, then I’ll pretend none of this happened. We’ll go back to how things were.” Echizen’s eyes had always been one of the many things that had drawn him to Seigaku’s rookie. Golden, round and big, Echizen was very much like a cat. He was around who he wanted and when he wanted. That had always made Tezuka feel special, because he knew Echizen didn’t give this type of attention to anyone else.
“Okay” He said and Echizen sat up pulling Tezuka with him. Tezuka couldn’t bear to look at him, he closed his eyes and let Echizen do as he pleased. Tezuka had never been good at denying anything to Echizen. Echizen’s warm calloused hands caressed Tezuka’s face. His finger’s tracing the older boy’s eyebrows, nose, lips. “Open your eyes, buchou” Tezuka bit his lip and slowly fluttered his eyes open. Echizen was staring at him, but not actually looking at him. The golden eyed boy slowly closed the distance and kissed the former tennis captain. Tezuka was an avid reader, he had read several books that described a goodbye kiss. Tezuka had never understood, but he knew now. This was goodbye. Echizen held Tezuka’s face as he kissed him, refusing to let go. The kiss was over as quickly as it had started. “Thank you, Buchou.”
----
It’d been three weeks, four days and sixteen hours since that incident. Tezuka had expected boy wonder to bring it up eventually, but he kept true to his word. He acted normal, too normal, Tezuka briefly wondered if all this had been in his imagination. But when the brown haired blue eyed genius voiced his concern for the rookie.“Tezuka, do you know what’s up with Echizen? He seems tired.” Tezuka could only shrug. If Fuji had noticed a difference in Echizen, maybe Tezuka wasn’t completely insane. Tezuka still received weekly messages from Echizen, but the messages felt off. Tezuka didn’t know how a text could feel off, but they did.
The next time he saw Echizen was at the Australian open. “Make sure you don’t lose before the finals.” He had said to Tezuka, as he walked off toward Ralph Rhineheart, the former captain of the American team. “Ryoma, how are you after yesterday?” Rhineheart’s voice carried a tone of gentile teasing, warmth and worry. “I hurt all over, didn’t know you had it in you. At this rate, I'll retire soon” Echizen and Rhineheart’s banter seemed familiar, informal, and almost intimate. Tezuka refused to further read into their conversation. What Echizen did in his free time was for him to decide. That didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt Tezuka.
“Ahn, What’s got you looking like a kicked puppy? It doesn’t suit you Tezuka.” Atobe stood by the locker door, dressed in his tennis wear. His match should be soon. “Both you and the brat have been acting weird.” Tezuka gave Atobe a pointed stare.
“What? He is a brat. Do you know what he told ME? He said I looked like a Christmas ornament his grandma would use. Damn brat, he’s lucky I have a slight soft spot for him. Sometimes I wanna throttle him!” Atobe ran his hand through his silky hair and gave an exasperated sigh. “Genichiro even changed my name to “Christmas Ornament” on his phone!”
“Not christmas ornament, Keigo, but ‘My Christmas ornament’”, Sanada corrected. “Don’t be over dramatic” Sanada said as he walked towards Atobe placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.
“You always defend the squirt, that’s why he is the way he is.” Atobe huffed.
“If it makes you feel better Keigo, you would be the star on top of the christmas tree.” Sanada sounded so sincere and so in love. Tezuka almost felt like he was intruding. “I guess I can live with that” Atobe’s face was slightly pink, no doubt enjoying hearing his boyfriend compliment him. Sanada gave Atobe a quick peck and headed out. “Good luck with your matches Tezuka.”
Tezuka never understood how such a mismatched pair like Atobe and Sanada could date, but they made it work. Sanada’s calm demeanor balanced Atobe’s flamboyant one. They had mutual respect, and seemed to be each other’s rock. He envied them. “Anyway, keep a tighter leash on your boy. Or one day I really will throttle him.”
“He’-” just like that Atobe was gone.
----
The next time he would see Echizen would be during the firework festival in Japan. Everyone agreed to meet before the U.S. open later this August. Although most of the Seigaku regulars no longer played tennis their bond was unshakable. Oishi was working towards his M.D, while his life partner had managed to score a stunt double job in a martial art film. Fuji, he continued playing tennis. He’d stated that photography would be there forever, tennis would wait for no one. He still does photography in his down time. Kawamura, Fuji’s boyfriend, went to college to get his culinary degree at some prestigious chef school. Kawamura was making a name for himself, naturally, he continued to help his dad during holidays. Inui, he was working on a double major and minor- Kinesiology with an emphasis on sports, physical therapy and nutrition. Inui stayed busy, but he seemed very motivated. Kaidoh kept playing tennis, but now in the college leagues. He is working on obtaining a B.A in accounting. Momoshiro, who was engaged with An, forced himself to go to college. “Real men provide for their family”, he’d said, and is going to college for a B.A in accounting - unironically. As for An, she’s going to college for a degree in journalism and a minor in communications. She however, is playing tennis professionally, she joins tournaments when she can.
The August firework festivals were a beautiful thing, the thing that made these festivals magical were the people you went with. Tezuka enjoyed, albeit secretly, when everyone got together for events. It was never just Seigaku, other schools would show, because the bonds formed during tennis solidated their lifelong friendship.
Tezuka had agreed to meet up with Fuji, as Kawamura helped his father set up their stand for the festival. He’d meet up with them a bit later. Fuji wore an olive green Yukata with white patterns and white obi. Tezuka also wore a yukata, his was plain ivory with a royal blue obi. As Fuji and Tezuka walked towards the meeting point they stumbled across Yukimura Seiichi and Shiraishi Kuranosuke. “Fuji, Tezuka, it’s been a while.” Shiraishi greeted them warmly. Pleasantries were exchanged, Fuji had grown close to both pro tennis players. They had dormed together at the U-17 training camp, and frequently saw each other on the courts. Tezuka only half listened to their exchange.
“Heeh, it’s been a while Yukimura.” Echizen imprudently interrupted. “Bouya” Yukimura smiled “I hear you lost against the rising star Carlos Alcaraz”
“Che, I'll crush him next time,” Echizen grinned at Yukimura. “You don’t seem too upset about your loss. Why is that bouya?”
“Because that means there are still strong tennis opponents out there for me to crush” Echizen stated with no hint of self conceit, but more so a fact, no doubt in his mind he would crush him.
Echizen much to Tezuka’s surprise wore a blue Jinbei, usually Echizen wore regular clothes. Echizen looked beautiful without his hat. Tezuka’s hand clenched to hold himself back from touching the rookie’s hair. “Oh! Shiraishi, Yukimura, want to go see Taka-san? There was a new sushi roll he created that you both might like!” Yukimura saw the glint in Fuji’s eyes and quickly got the message. “I am kind of hungry, let’s go Nosuke.” Yukimura dragged a clueless Shiraishi along with Fuji following close behind. “Tezuka, look after Echizen will you? He gets lost easily.” Fuji winked.
“Shall we head over to the meet up point.” Tezuka could only sigh as he asked Echizen. “Yeah, we might as well.” Fuji had suggested the perfect meet up point, it was a secluded forest area. According to Fuji we would all meet there before the fireworks.
“What was that about Fuji?” Yukimura had asked once they were far enough from Tezuka. “Oh, just helping my friends out.” Yukimura laughed. “I see, matchmaker Fuji, huh?” Fuji pulled out his phone and sent a quick text, “You don’t know the half of it.”
----
“They’re late Buchou, the fireworks are starting any minute now!” Echizen grumbled. Tezuka had known the boy long enough to know Echizen HATED waiting. He had always found it ironic that for someone who hated waiting he sure loved to arrive late.
Echizen laid on the grass and pulled out his phone. “I’m calling Momo, it’s not like An to let him be late.” After a few failed attempts Echizen gave up. “Why does he have a phone if he’s not going to answer?!”
Tezuka chuckled. “What’s so funny?” Echizen sat up and turned to glare at Tezuka. “It’s just that, it has been brought to my attention, that YOU rarely answer YOUR phone.” Tezuka gave Echizen a knowing look, “so wouldn’t that be hypocritical of you?”
Echizen stood up, dusting himself off ”I answer your calls, don’t I?” Echizen pouted and shoved his phone in his pocket.
Tezuka froze. It WAS true, Tezuka had only called Echizen a handful of times, but Echizen ALWAYS answered. He’d constantly heard Momoshiro and Kikumaru complaining that Echizen would never answer or would sometimes even forward their call to voicemail.
“Why?” The words came out his mouth before he could register that he’d said them.
Echizen looked at Tezuka rather curiously, “What do you mean ‘why’?” The gentle breeze tousled Echizen’s hair. Echizen’s hair smelled of strawberry.
A vague memory resurfaced, “Buchou, what do you prefer: green apples, mixed berries or strawberries?” Echizen had once texted him. ‘Strawberry’, Tezuka texted back. ‘Good choice Buchou.’ The memory hurt, because Tezuka was an idiot. He was a huge idiot. Echizen had always been the one for him, but he had to focus on what was in front of him. Tezuka’s negative thoughts had always won over. Then at night, his mind would betray his resolve. Echizen leg’s, Echizen’s voice, Echizen’s lip’s, all of Echizen haunted Tezuka in his dreams.
Tezuka’s fight or flight flared, he knew where this was leading. But Echizen, but Echizen… Echizen… Echizen… ECHIZEN was all Tezuka could think about. Tezuka cleared his throat, “Nevermind, don’t answer that if you don’t want to.” Tezuka was a coward, he told himself he stayed away for Echizen, but he’s a coward and a liar. He stayed away for himself. Tezuka had never wanted anything as much as he wanted Echizen. He wanted Echizen, but a nastier side of him wanted to own the boy in a way he should never. He was scared because he knew Echizen would let him. Tezuka wanted to be greedy and selfish with Echizen. He wanted Echizen to always look at Tezuka, he wanted to wake up and fall asleep beside Echizen forever. He wanted to play tennis with Echizen forever, he wanted a life with Echizen.
“Then, why did you ask?” Echizen stood directly in front of Tezuka. Echizen had grown over the years but not tall enough to beat Tezuka, the perfect height for Echizen to rest his head on Tezuka’s shoulder, the perfect length for Tezuka to lean down and kiss Echizen.
Echizen’s golden eyes looked straight through him, he felt as though he were pinned against the wall. His eyes, breathtaking, he could hear his blood rushing through his ears. Could Echizen hear how loud his heart was pounding? Tezuka made the mistake of looking down at Echizen’s lips which were in a defiant scowl. He unconsciously licked his bottom lip, but he didn’t miss the way Echizen’s eyes followed his tongue.
The distance between them slowly closed. They were drawn to each other by some supernatural force, or so Tezuka likes to blame the universe for his lack of resolve around Echizen. Soft lips pressed against slightly damp lips, Kissing Echizen… kissing Echizen… God, I’m kissing Echizen”, Tezuka couldn’t think. He didn’t want to think. Only Echizen was on his mind, the feel of his lips, the feel of his toned body pressed against his. Echizen’s hands threading through his hair in a caressing manner. Tezuka angled Echizen’s head just right so they could deepen the kiss. He no longer cared. The fireworks in the background weren’t nearly as loud as the soft moans that came from Echizen’s lips, and weren't nearly as beautiful either.
This might have been a love story’s picture perfect scene, but Tezuka was beyond caring. The young man has been the center of Tezuka’s affections for a long time. Now that he knows the taste of Echizen, he could admit he was not strong enough to let go. It had been easier when he didn’t know. It’d been easier when he could only imagine what it was like, the yearning was easier to deal with than the need he was currently feeling. Kissing Echizen, breathing his breath, touching his skin, hearing him, feeling the weight of his body, tasting him was pure bliss for Tezuka.
The kiss may have lasted a few moments at best. They slowly parted, Tezuka gazed at Echizen’s flushed face with greed. He drank the image and committed it to memory. This might be the last time. Echizen must’ve felt his hesitation because he moved his hands from Tezuka’s hair then wrapped them around his shoulders and held him firmly. “I hope you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking.”
“Echizen, I-”, Tezuka hesitated. He wanted nothing more than to keep the rookie in his arms forever.
“Buchou, I like you. If it wasn’t obvious.” Echizen dropped his arms from Tezuka’s shoulders. “But, I won’t force you. If this isn’t what you want. I’ve waited many years, I can wait a bit longer.” Echizen pushed lightly against Tezuka’s chest. His face marred with a pained expression.
Tezuka’s arms tightened around Echizen. He rested his head against Echizen’s shoulder. “Don’t go, Ryoma.”
Echizen’s pulse quickened. The thumping in his chest made his body run hot. He didn’t quite know how to deal with a Tezuka that wasn’t pushing him away. The majority of the time he’d known his buchou, he’d never used his name. Nor would his buchou ever hold him with such need. He didn’t trust his voice, not like the words could come out. There was a lump stuck that wouldn’t allow him to speak.
“Ryoma?” Tezuka lifted his head to look at the young tennis player in his arms. He’d been quiet for an eternity.
“Buchou, do you really mean that?” Echizen spoke softly, now that the fireworks were over. The commotion below the hill- distant and festive - seemed to fade. The lights danced on Ryoma’s face, making him alluring.
“I’ve spent a lot of time running away.” Tezuka used one of his hands to touch Ryoma’s chin. “I need to know.”
Golden eyes pierced into deep pools of honey, “Know what?”
“May I be selfish of you, Ryoma? If you say yes, I won’t let you go.”, Tezuka placed a feather light kiss on the edge of Ryoma’s mouth. Tezuka swallowed before continuing, “Please say yes. I don’t think I could be without you anymore.” Gentle lips brushed against Ryoma’s cheek. “Would you hate me if I become too greedy?”
A tremor shook Ryoma to his core. He could feel, hear, Tezuka’s need for him, and it made his body burn with want. Magma pooling in his belly, slow and hurt ready to erupt. “Buchou”, the word left Ryoma in a breathy and needy moan. They probably should head somewhere else, but Ryoma was scared that if they left, Tezuka would change his mind. Ryoma didn’t want that. “You can be as selfish as you want Buchou.” He tilted his neck to the side to expose more skin to his middle school captain, friend, mentor, rival, and fellow tennis pro player. “Only if I can be just as selfish of you.”
Tezuka’s mouth worked on leaving marks along Ryoma’s neck. He’d held himself back last time, but there was no longer any need to do that. His nose nuzzled Ryoma’s neck. “Yes.” Tezuka inhaled Ryoma’s scent. He smelled of ocean breeze, the cologne Tezuka’s always liked. Everything about Ryoma enticed Tezuka.
“Koshimae!!” Both Tezuka and Echizen tensed at the far distant scream of Toyama. “Koshimae~ Are you up here?” They sprung apart as a very energetic Toyama tackled Echizen to the floor. Followed by a worried Shiraishi. Yukimura and Fuji smiled with those knowing smile of theirs as if to say, “We know what you were doing.” Kawamura followed behind, carrying bags of prizes he’d won for Fuji no doubt.
Tezuka was annoyed. His now boyfriend, or at least he’d hoped they were officially dating now, was on the floor with Toyama on top of him.
Amusement rolled off Fuji and Yukimura in waves. Obviously, they were behind this. Fuji observed Tezuka's eyebrow twitching in irritation. Fuji was 100% amused. He didn’t know exactly what happened, but it didn’t take rocket science to deduce what did happen.
“Kin-chan, get off Echizen. He can’t breathe.” Shiraishi helped Toyama off Echizen. While Tezuka helped Ryoma off the ground. Fuji’s eyes widened, he caught a glimpse of Echizen’s neck. The bruises that were forming along his neck to be exact. Fuji was proud of his friend. He didn’t know he had it in him. Fuji also didn’t miss the way Tezuka and Echizen were still holding hands. Mission accomplished, Fuji smiled happily.
“Echizen and I will be retiring for the night.” Tezuka stated. “Let’s go, Echizen.” As they were leaving, a hand stopped Echizen.
“Koshimae! Let’s play a match!” Toyama tugged on Echizen’s arm. If Tezuka knew Ryoma, which he did, Ryoma found it really difficult to say no to Toyama. It was always displeasing whenever the pestilent Toyama took Ryoma away from him. Tezuka’s grip on Ryoma’s hand tightened slightly, but didn’t go unnoticed by Ryoma.
“I’ll play with you another time, I have a pending date with Buchou right now.” Echizen smirked and looked directly at Tezuka daring him to say that wasn’t the case.
“Ah. You do.” Tezuka could easily lose himself in Ryoma’s eyes, but now wasn’t the time. Not when Fuji was around. Ryoma’s genuine smile was radiant and dazzling. He felt himself falling for Ryoma a little more.
----
Later that night Tezuka and Ryoma were entangled in sheets. The echoing of their ragged breathing and moans. A caress from skin to skin, the bruising painting Ryoma’s body. The trails of nail marks along Tezuka’s back.
Ryoma’s leg’s around Tezuka felt so perfect, being inside Ryoma felt so right. Tezuka was in euphoria. Ryoma was finally his, although some nasty part of his brain was suppressing the controlling emotion welling up within. He couldn’t help wanting to monopolize Ryoma.
Tezuka watched as Ryoma slept, he caressed his face and brushed a few loose strands of hair away from his face. Tezuka could watch Ryoma sleep forever, “Karupin” Ryoma mumbled in his sleep. Tezuka smiled, he was enamored, completely smitten with Ryoma. He leaned in closer to whisper to the sleeping man beside him. “You’re mine now Ryoma, and I’m never letting go.” He voiced his poisonous thoughts. What he didn’t know couldn’t harm him.